HOME OF THE GOLDEN LOBSTER.

A bloke on his deathbed makes his wife promise she'll be faithful to him so they can meet up in heaven. He says if you break our promise I'll turn in my grave. So later she's at the gates of heaven and asks for hubby. What's his name? Smith she replies. Can you be more specific? Well he made me promise to be faithful to him otherwise he would turn in his grave. Ah! you mean Spinning Smith!

What is all this "Golden Lobster" nonsense?

I hear you cry.

It's a very special web page award given out in the name of Our Lady Of The Spandex Erin Gray. Followers of the Order of Spandex are automatically awarded with this trophy. It is also awarded to those who have shown great services above and beyond the call of duty to the Dung.

Wow! That's fantastic. How in the Great Wide Web do I get one?

It's very simple.

If, while browsing the web, we happen upon your page and its contents spark off that certain Je ne sais quoi we will automatically award you one right there and then. Well after a discussion about your page over coffee obviously. We don't want to rush in to anything here.
OR You could send us your best insult from our insultathon and, as long as you select the appropriate prize, win a Golden Lobster from that.
OR by far and away the easiest way to win a Golden Lobster is to write and tell us how fantastically shit our story is.

So What's To Stop Me From Just Nicking One Off Your Page?

Absolutely bugger all! But all genuine Golden Lobsters are listed below and the Golden Lobsters awarded all link back to this page.

Wow! You Talk About It As If It Really Matters.

Well it doesn't. But here are the people who have been awarded this, er... award. Damn! I could have worded that better.

THE GOLDEN LOBSTER HALL OF FAME

First off, us of course. You don't think we'd invent this award and not have one ourselves do you?

Secondly, Mary the Dung fan. Yes, this poor deluded creature sent us a praisemail so we branded her with a Golden Lobster. Wasn't that nice of us?

EMAIL

Horse

Hellspaw

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