REEEEEEEAAAAAAALLLLLLYYY
bad jokes
Too many people get away with too many bad jokes. So, as punishment for their idiotic humor, I am making this tribute page to Reeeeeeaaaallly Bad Jokes.
Bad Jokes Characters Have Told
Sick Jokes Characters Have Told
Jokes That Really Weren't THAT Funny
Bio-puns
Insanely Stupid Comebacks
Stupid Questions
Other
Bad Jokes Characters Have Told
WOMAN:Oh no! I have a mole on my face!
SCIENTIST:A mole? A mole of what?
-Male-an
AMIE:That car doesn't have its lights on. That's not very bright.
J:No, in fact, it's dark!
-J
MRS. P:....then we'll play Black Eyes.. I mean, Dark Eyes.
ODF:Heeeheeee! Black Eyes! Black Eyes! Black-eyed Peas!
-ODF
SITHY:Where did Ai-mi and J go?
LUKE:Ai-mi and J have gone-
ORIC:Gone what? AWOL?
-Oric
What do you call the ghost of a chicken?
A poultry-geist!
-Luke
ROMEO:(sings song)
LUKE:Peyton, stick to the bass.
ROME:But I was singing bass!
-Romeo
(thanks go to Lukie, who tells me every bad joke she hears.)
(in the NY airport returning from Italy)
LUKIE:I'm not homesick.
BEN:I'm Romesick!
-Ben (I don't remember exactly how it went... but it was something like that.)
If you're a character, please tell more bad jokes so I can put them up here.
Sick Jokes Characters have Told
If it hurts... next time use Vasoline.
MIKE:Double-A batteries last the longest...
SHARON:Yeah, right! (ah, the joys of not hearing the whole conversation!)
MIKE:I wish I were his wallet... (we'll leave the rest to your imagination)
Star on the sidewalk in the Loop: Susan Blows
SUSAN:Hey! I do not!
Tattoed on Male-an's legs: We never close!
-Susan (I think... correct me if it was someone else)
I'm sure there are more... if you remember any, please mail them to me.
Jokes That Really Weren't THAT Funny
MR. H. RAISIN:Don't laugh! Ten thousand points off your BATS grade!
(Ai-mi, it REALLY isn't that funny...)
(Rachel from Friends has just washed a red sock w/ her whites, and her clothes are all pink)
RACHEL:I'll look like a big marshmallow peep!
(Luke laughed for about half an hour...)
They're too dumb to figure it out! (This concerns Kerry & Male-an's love life... you'll see once I get the comics scanned.)
(If Ai-mi starts cracking up for no apparent reason in orchestra, it usually has something to do with this.)
He goes through the whole alphabet, then finally figures out he's his own true love.
(If I ever decide to put up the Kerry Alphabet Theory, you'll understand.)
Bio-Puns
As extra credit on biology tests, our bio teacher gave out bio-puns,
which J thought were the funniest things on earth. (Which makes them
fit in both the "Bad Jokes" and the "Not THAT Funny" categories... so
I gave them their own category.) If anyone who is or has ever been
in that class remembers any, please send them to me!! Please!
Oh, yeah, and all the bio-puns are the property of whomever made them up... They're used without permission by this web-site but I really doubt anyone will mind. If anyone does, I'll take them off but I'll be REALLY annoyed with you from then on...
I probably didn't word these exactly right... Eh.
______ _____ things cheaper than K-Mart or Wal-Mart. TARGET CELLS
After the girl hit him, the boy said, "You are ______ person!" AMINE
What do women do at night? SEMEN
In astronomy class today we learned how to _________ of a moon. TELOPHASE
Insanely Stupid Comebacks
KERRY:Hey, Big-Head!
MALE-AN:Hey, Small-Head!
AI-MI:Male-an, the lab table is STILL messy!
MALE-AN:You're messy!
MR. WINSTON:Male-an, you're a hoochie mama!
MALE-AN:Well... you're a hoochie papa!
KERRY:Male-an, you have such a big head!
(or something along those lines... I don't remember exactly what he said.)
MALE-AN:Well.. at least I HAVE a head!
AI-MI:Male-an, you shouldn't have quit orchestra! We're going to New York!
(we actually didn't go to NY... but that's not important.)
MALE-AN:Shut your big mouth and your tummy!
Funny but Self-Depricating Comebacks
LUKE:I HATE stupid people!
SUSAN:Well... I hate you too!
MIKE:Ever noticed how ugly people wear ugly things?
SUSAN:Hey! I like this dress!
Stupid Questions
"Hey, Andy! Why can't we tear the filter paper at the bottom?"
-Defo
"What?"
-Aimi, after someone on Star Trek said, "Data! Data!" (Data was her camp name)
"Tova, do you think I'm stupid?"
-Male-an
Mr. Westy:... then, in Europe, they'll have the Euro dollar...
Lexi:Are they going to have that in America?
"Is this the line?"
-Kerry, standing at the end of a group
of people
mysteriously standing in single file one after another
"Susan, could you hand me a diaper? I mean, napkin!"
-Mikey (don't ask...)
Other Random Things I couldn't find a category for...
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