Meg was the name of your girlfriend:
And gig was your middle finger upright:
Now they all mean different things:
and that really mega bytes:

An application was for employment:
A program was a TV show:
A cursor used profanity:
A keyboard was a piano:

Memory was something that you
lost with age:
A CD was a bank account:
And if had a 3 1/2" floppy you hoped
nobody found out:

Compress was something you did to the garbage
not not something you did with a file:
And if you un-zipped anything in public you'd
be in jail for a while :

Log on was adding wood to the fire:
Hard drive was a long trip on the road:
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived:
And a backup happed to your commode:

Cut you did with a pocket knife:
Paste you did with glue:
And a virus was the Flu:

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper,
and the memory in my head:
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash,
But when it happens
"They wish they were dead":

Computer Companies is considering changing the command
"Press Any Key" because of the flood of calls asking
where the "Any Key is

A technical support Technician had a caller complain that
her mouse was hard to control with dust cover on. The cover
turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

Another customer was asked to send a copy of the
defected diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived
from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies.

Yet another mystified customer called to complain that his
keyboard no longer worked. he had cleaned it by filling
his tub with soap and water and soaked the keyboard for
a day,then removed all the keys and cleaned them.

A technician recieved a call form a customer who was enraged
that his computer had told him he was "bad" and "an invalid"
The technician explained that the "bad and "in valided"
responses shouldn't be taken personally.

A confused caller to technician support she was having trouble
printing documents. she told the technician that the computer
had said it "couldn't find printer" The user had also tried
turning the computer screen to face the printer but that her
computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

An exasperated called to Computer tech Support called to say
that she couldn't get her new computer to turn on. After
ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked
her what happened when she pushed the power button. She
responded "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and
nothing happened" "
"The foot pedal turned out to be the computer mouse"

Caller: "Hello is this Tech Support?"

Technicial: "Yes it is. How can I help you?

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within
warranty. How do I go about getting it fixed?"

Technicial: "I'm sorry but did you say cup holder?

Caller: "Yes its attached to the front of my computer"

Technicial: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped
its because I am. Did you recieved this as part of a
promotional at a trade show?" "How did you get this cup
holder?" "Does it have any trademark on it?"

Caller: "It came with my computer." I don't know anything
about a promotional. It just as "4X" on it

Technicial: (Who at this Time was trying very hard not to
laugh out loud) "I see now" "You have been using the loading
drawer of the CD Rom drive as a cup holder and snapped of
the drive"

Another Caller: " Hello I am having trouble installing software

Technician: "Yes and what seem to be the problem"

Caller: "I put in the first disk and that was Ok.

Technicial: "And"

Caller: "It said to put in the second disk,
Technician: "OK"

Caller: I had some problem with that one. But I got it in

Technician: "And"

Caller: But when it asked for the third disk- I couldn't
even fit it in. There was no more room for it