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Well-known Test Cricketer, Paul Smith, was banned for two tests after he was found guilty of 'biting the ear off of Jim Green's head, seasoning it with mustard and salt, and then eating it.'
During the test between England and South Africa last June Jim Green's ear was pulled off, or so it was thought until the surgeon extracting it from Smith's stomach noticed three teeth marks on it. After a lengthy court case, ending yesterday, Smith was banned from the next two tests and given two hours community service in which he will paint the fence outside his own house.
Forensic
The clinching piece of evidence was the dental match between the teeth marks and Paul Smith's dentist's records.
He was branded an 'unconditional madman' by the Judge, Grant Hanger-Martin QC.
One Jury member said 'I can't see what all the fuss is about. It is only his ear.'
A man who I know said 'I don't know why it went to court, they extracted the tooth from the guys stomach, for Christ's sake!'
This view is clearly anarchistic and I have taken the liberty of reporting him to the police and other relevant authorities.
Farcical
The trial has been variously accused of being 'stupid', 'pointless' and 'good TV', even though it was never televised.
But the most important point is, who cares? Not me!
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