Honey, print me a shopping list while you're in there." I am still
amazed that such an innocent remark led to a life-altering encounter.
It was November 1999. My wife, Carolyn and I had recently purchased a
WebTV unit to access the Internet. While surfing around, Carolyn
stumbled onto a web site featuring printable shopping lists. Naturally,
that meant we now also needed a printer, so off I went to Best Buy.
I rushed home and connected the printer, but then we couldn't find the
web site again. After searching for days, I finally stumbled back onto
the jackpot, "Barbara's Printables." A link on her site caught my eye
for a discussion group called "My Grandchild." Being a grandfather, I
curiously clicked on the link and found my way to the "Grannies"
group.
Carolyn and I began lurking, as they call it, reading the messages for a
few weeks without posting ourselves. I don't remember which of us posted
first, but it really doesn't matter. We were welcomed with love and joy
by this special group. Carolyn posted regularly for a few months, but
her hectic schedule as a fulltime school bus driver and grandmother made
it almost impossible to keep up with the messages. Gradually she stopped
posting, but I was hopelessly in love with a group of people I had never
seen.
The old adage, "you're as old as you feel," couldn't have rung more true
for this spunky gang. Their youthful and fun-loving approach to life was
like finding a bottle of Perrier while crossing the Sahara. Glo, a
collector of everything cow-like, included a cow graphic that mooed
every time you opened her post. Carol's messages included an animated
granny cartoon character from "Tweety Bird" dancing to the tune "Old
Time Rock and Roll," and several others had similarly amusing email
"signatures."
Jokes and laughter abounded. Weddings of children, births of
grandchildren, and other happy occasions were celebrated with online
cyber-parties. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were "served" by Mary,
and Glo whipped up her famous "punch," that really packed a wallop,
leaving many in the group with virtual hangovers the following morning.
Then there was the famous "frog wedding." The event had taken place
several months before I joined the group, but they were still talking
about it as if it had really happened. Mary included a kissing frog in
her email signature she affectionately named "Froggie." Then Carol came
up with the idea of a suitor named "Figaro." Eventually the frogs were
married online via carefully posed photos of plush frogs adorned in a
tuxedo and wedding gown. Everyone "attended" the wedding, and then the
baby shower when little tadpoles were born. Each of the Grannies
contributed to the virtual events, going so far as to describe gifts and
behavior at the parties, including when Froggie got tipsy after swimming
in a bowl of Glo's spiked punch.
As much as the Grannies shared laughs and practical jokes, they also
shared tears and prayers for one another. I had never seen a more
supportive and caring group of people. It was truly like one big family.
One of the Grannies, Mary Lynn, became so close with another Granny,
Judy that she and her husband packed up and moved from San Antonio Texas
to Iowa so the gals could live near each other.
When I found the Grannies, my life and hopes had dwindled to something
that could almost be described as suicidal. My life had become drab with
the promise of an unending string of drab days and years ahead. I work
as a senior chemist in a small chemical plant. After 25 years of doing
the same thing, I guess I was almost sleepwalking through the job. The
highlight of my workday was checking off the days on the calendar I was
using to countdown to retirement.
No matter what I did I could not get enthusiastic or re-engaged with
life. But thanks to my Granny friends, that all began to change. After
work, I rushed home each day to hear how everyone had fared and what
they had done. As I got to know each Granny, and they me, I felt like I
acquired an extended family. A family who accepted me completely for who
I was.
That's exactly what amazed me about this group. There was no
pretentiousness, no trying to one-up anyone, everyone was totally
themselves and loved just for who they are. This was poignantly
illustrated when a lovely woman named Donna Sneed joined the group. Soon
after she joined, we discovered she had been living in a nursing home in
Missouri for several years after suffering a stroke. Because of the
stroke she could not use her left hand and her right hand was weakened.
These limitations led to adventurous spelling with no punctuation or
capitalization. As a result, her posts were quite challenging to read,
but her charming personality stole our hearts. We all labored to
understand her and were completely captivated by her spirit.
A few of the Grannies were homebound for different reasons, and being
part of the group gave them a lifeline to the outside world. Such was
the situation for Vi Bader from New Jersey. Out of the kindness of her
heart, she had taken on a live-in job caring for an elderly, bedridden
man. He was totally dependent on her for his very existence, so it was
often days before she could get out of the house. Her children bought
her a WebTV and shortly thereafter she stumbled onto the Grannies. The
rest of Vi's story is best told in the following email she sent to the
author of this book.
"The Grannies helped me so much with their kindness, compassion, and
understanding of my situation, I felt like I had known them forever.
When I was down in the dumps, all I had to do was turn on my Web, go to
the Grannies, and I was immediately a happy person. We would talk,
laugh, send each other cards, say prayers for those who were ill, and
shed many a tear if we ever lost one of our beloved Grannies. No one was
ever alone again, whether to share the death of a loved one, the birth
of a new grandchild, or even to chat about an upcoming vacation. When I
lost my youngest son, Eddie to a long illness, the Grannies took me by
the hand via email, and I could feel the love and kindness in their
words. They sent flowers, money for Eddie's children, and so many cards
and gentle words of encouragement. Bless the Grannies and Gramps, they
saved my life."
Everything and anything you can imagine was talked about amongst the
group. Some discussions were serious, such as illnesses or the passing
of a loved one, and others have had the group in stitches for days. One
such humorous discussion resulted from Carol's famous "tooting" thread
(continuous postings about one topic). She was having a little gas
problem and posted with the subject line Shhh".(Whisper) Flatulence. "I
always used to be disgusted by my mother-in-law's tooting in public, but
now it seems I have the same problem," she wrote. "Much to my dismay, I
find myself toot, toot, tooting along as I walk." You could almost hear
the roaring laughter through the TV screen from the group. Responses to
the post went on for days. Everyone was telling funny tooting stories
and posting jokes and tooting cartoons. Even people from other
discussions heard about it and came to join in the fun. Carol later
added a little "toot toot" graphic emitting from the dancing granny in
her email signature.
Then there were the practical jokes. Granny, Diane Glor (aka "Lady Di")
from Florida, made the mistake of mentioning to the group that people
had been telling her to "put a sock in it" because she had a hard time
saying no to things. As a result, she received a dozen packages in the
mail with pairs of socks sent by several of the Grannies. Glo, of
course, sent socks decorated with cows.
Di later got her "payback" by secretly having the group chip in to send
50 huge black and white helium balloons to Glo for her fiftieth
birthday. Diane knew Glo had a small house in New York and no room for
that many balloons, which made it all the more fun. She emailed Glo's
son to make sure he was there ready with his camera when the balloons
arrived. The priceless photo of Glo's flabbergasted expression was later
emailed to the group.
When Carolyn and I first joined the Grannies there were discussions
about a proposed reunion in Branson, Missouri in September 2000, which
we were warmly invited to attend. There had been a few "mini-reunions"
with small groups of Grannies who had met in person, but this would be
the first big union. Many of the grannies, especially those who had not
yet met other grannies, told me that they were very nervous about
meeting everyone in person. We had all heard the "Urban Legend" about
the Internet axe murderers. Our kids insisted we call them as soon as we
arrived and met the other grannies.
I told the group that we would arrive at the Polar Bear Inn at 2:13 pm.
They had come to expect from me a certain exactitude. I scheduled our
trip in stages so that we could leisurely make the final drive at the
speed limit and arrive on time. The closer we got, the faster I drove,
and the more nervous I got. I was vacillating between Oh God, I hope
they like me, and Please God don't let them be axe murderers. We got to
Branson an hour early and I tried to kill time but just couldn't wait.
We pulled into the hotel parking lot about twenty minutes early.
The first one to greet us was Di, the designated OGG (Official Granny
Greeter) who is also known as "The T-Shirt Lady," the one responsible
for the official Granny uniform, a purple T-shirt with the dancing
Granny from Carol's email signature. After a big hug hello, she kidded
me about being early, noting the time at 1:47. As we entered the lobby
filled with Grannies, Gramps, and their respective spouses, we were
bombarded with hugs. Grannies came from as far away as Alaska and
California, I think there were fifty total. It was almost surreal. All
of these people who I had come to know only through email postings were
now right in front of me. The first day remains a blur from the
excitement of meeting so many new friends. We spent almost a week with
the group and enjoyed each other as if we were long lost kinfolk.
Upon returning from Branson, Di asked everyone to write about the
highlights of their trip, which she posted on a webpage for everyone to
read. I happily contributed my two-cents worth.
"I was and am still so overwhelmed by the awesome experience of meeting
all the Grannies and their spouses that I have not been able to find
adequate words. I was not prepared to meet so many people that were
exactly perfect. Each and every one was like an exotic artichoke. The
more leaves you peeled back the more there was to find. The more you
talked the richer their personality became. The meeting more than
fleshed out their email personalities.
Now I can visualize how each person moves their hands and body while
talking. I can see their faces and hear the inflections in their speech.
Glo's exuberant "Hello" will be in my mind forever. The way Kath moved
her hands as she talked, weaving air sculptures around her words, is
burned in. Carol's laugh reverberated from the soul with an acceptance
of the world, and an invitation to join in the fun. Shy quiet Sammy was
a true joy, but shy not! Her lively stories and tales drew you close.
Timid Barb, also not. She had the site that led us to the Grannies, and
Caro felt she was in the presence of a celebrity near Barb. Bondie's
breathing lessons. Szak with the funny jokes and keen appreciation of
the irony on life. And who would have expected quiet Phyllis to make and
sell candles named "Sex on the Beach" and "Baby Powder." I still find
the name combinations sidesplitting. Carol with her mercy stash of
Kaopectate she pulled from her medicine bag for Caro who was sick as a
dog when we arrived. I believe Carol could have set up an emergency
clinic out of that bag! Vel and Vi, finally faces to go with the most
enjoyable travel logs. And who could forget Glo when she appeared in the
lobby clad in her cow costume complete with utters to deliver a package
of Cracker Jacks sent by Mary of "Froggie Wedding" fame.
Mary Lynn was there taking videos of everyone each time I looked up.
Judy was so helpful. I almost believe that Judy and Mary Lynn are secret
sisters. Trish with her wonderfully playful Bendos she brought along for
the group. Fiesty Judy from Florida with the super positive outlook.
Indiana Joan, I had wondered what she looked like now I know. Twila and
Jan from the land of super cold Alaska telling this Texan what real cold
is. Sandy, the brave with the horrific bruise from her fall. Frances and
Pam and more breathing lessons. Amelia taking about a flower festival.
And the guys'Dennis, Jim, Lonnie, Larry, Dave, Pete, Paul, George, and
Barney.
The week rushed by so fast the camera was needed to capture the events.
Caro and I took over 500 pictures with the digital camera, and about two
hours with the video. I miss everyone so much. They were so much more
than I expected and were exactly as I wished. I have known these people
all my life. I just had not met them until now. What a group! What a
family. Posting in Grannies is better than nothing but I really miss the
people. I have never been so gripped by love for ex-strangers."
Before the trip I learned that some of the Grannies were planning to
visit Donna in the nursing home on their way back home. I had been
secretly copying Donna's posts and compiling them into "chapters" on one
of my web pages. I corrected the spelling errors so the wonderful
anecdotes of life in her younger years could be more easily read. I
had built twenty-nine chapters grouped into about two weeks worth of her
posts, which I printed out and had bound in a plastic binder to bring to
Branson. All of the Grannies there signed the cover page of the book and
I gave it to Mary Lynn and Judy. She videotaped their visit to Donna and
her reaction to the book and sent me a copy, which is one of my most
cherished possessions. I continued to compile Donna's posts until I had
forty-one chapters. We discovered she had died on April 10th. We were
all the poorer from her passing, and she is greatly missed.
Since the Branson reunion, some Grannies have had to quit posting
because of health and new members have joined. But the group is as
lively as ever with nearly 100,000 posts since the reunion. We had a
second "Grand Reunion" in Gatlinburg, Tennessee in fall 2002. May of the
Grannies from the first reunion returned and we were joined by several
new Grannies. The whole group helped plan and decide on reunion
activities with the core posters finding a suitable hotel and arranging
and scheduling activities along with transportation. We even had an
"unknown" person pay for tickets to one of our chosen events to the tune
of nearly $1,000! The whole group is very anxious to discover the true
identity of this person.
The Grannies decided to present me with a beautiful decorative paving
stone signed by all of them in appreciation of the little bit I did to
help make the Gatlinburg reunion enjoyable. Or it may have been for my
enlightening dissertation on the "Houston Toad." I have the stone
mounted in my WebTV room where I see it constantly. It has pieces of
mirror mounted as a compass. In my heart it leads to the Grannies.
Being part of the Grannies has forever changed me. Prior to meeting
these dear people I was a splintered person. Each of the people in my
life only got to see and interact with one facet of my being. A lot of
energy was spent trying to maintain these different personae. In the
three plus years I have been with the Grannies I have posted about every
aspect of my life. Everyone in the group has read those posts and
accepted me anyway. It is OK to be me! I am a whole person with the
Grannies. Their acceptance empowered me to dare to show different sides
to the people in my daily life. I cannot imagine my life without the
Grannies, my virtual fountain of youth.
And after all of this, I never did get that shopping list printed! Sorry
honey, I'll do it right now.
Wayne
June 2004
Roll Call
