Mouse Plane Crash in Ohio!

In Ohio, a mouse in control of a plane crashed. However, the only fatality was that of the mouse himself. We spoke to Quantas and they said

"We often use mice as pilots, we find them much more reliable than humans, and cheaper too. Why, a fully qualified mouse pilot costs less than a quarter pound of cheese a day, when compared to humans you can see why we hire them."

When we asked about safety, they replied that they had yet to have an accident involving their mice, and this incident was probably caused by another small rodent - like a rat or gerbil and not a mouse, as mice are by far and away the most reliable pilots in the world.

Condom ban.

Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is good. If a sperm is wasted, god gets quite irate.
Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is good. Every sperm is needed, in your neighbourhood.

External links
Brazil: Population and family planning. Contracption index.

External links

Brazil: Population and family planning.

Contracption index.

All birth control methods are to be banned in the town of Bocaiuva do Sul, Brazil.

After seeing the population of his town fall from 8,000 to more than half, mayor Elcio Berti has banned birth control in the hope that people will start having children again. If the population doesn't grow again, they stand to lose 40% of grants, calculated based on population.

His decree says:

"As of this moment, the sale of any medicine or application of any method which makes the birth of children impossible is prohibited."

Although he did not say if celebacy, or being infertile would be illegal, nor if anyone who's had a vasectomy would be marched off to the hospital to get it revesersed.

We think he's being rather silly, but then that's just us.

Vegetarian Anarchist pranksters strike again!

(but it all works out nicely in the end)

External links
Citymeals on wheels.

A well known pop star vegetarian couple have been seen playing pranks on various charitable organisations. The couple, who for our purposes will be refered to as Paul and Linda are trouble makers and must be stopped.

Their methods cause chaos, unrest, and much mucking around. A recent case in question, the "Citymeals-on-wheels" benefit dinner which they arranged to attend. Their methods are simple.

First, they ask for vegetarian meals. The organiser allocated a vegetarian meal for the couple. They then say "no no, we meant vegetarian meals for everyone"... after much convincing, the organisers bow to their wishes, producing and arranging the menus to be entirely vegetarian based.

Then, they say "ho ho, just kidding, we can't attend really"
Of course, after the organisation as finished exploding in a ball of anger, they say "Oh, here's half what we said we'd donate, but we still want it spent only on vegetarian meals."

This couple is a menace to normal society, and should be stopped. They can't buy people off with money - even if they did give 10,000 dollars to the organisers. Why if everyone did that, what kind of world would this be?

I'll tell you - it would be a fun and twisted place, with people playing jokes on everyone every five minutes - but giving the recipricant of the joke a nice surprise at the end of it... now is this what we want? Of course we don't!