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April 29

I have a handbook that I pick up every now and again and reread. Its called "1401 More Things That P*ss Me Off". I'm assuming its a sequel cause of the "still" in the title (duh). But its simply one huge list of things that are annoying, and today I decided to make my own list in lieu of an entry. So here goes...

 

Things that P*ss Me Off

Children with dirty fingers.

People who refer to bratty kids as precocious.

Old men.

Women with no opinions.

Men with too many opinions.

When straight people use the phrase Faggot in an attempt to put gay people at ease.

Gay people who can't use the term Faggot.

People who keep lists.

Teenagers.

Beautiful people who look at you wistfully and say things such as "I'm so fat, ugly, etc."

Computer crashes.

New CD's that skip.

Cats that kick balls of litter outside of the box, despite the fact you have a hood and a lid on the litter box.

Dogs that sniff between your legs.

Owners of the above dog for not stopping it.

The fact that just anybody can buy a half shirt.

People who "match" everything. E.G.: four cup and dish sets... when one breaks they buy a whole new set.

Music from the seventies.

People who quote TV shows and pretend that its their own phrase.

Baggy shorts and no underwear.

Baggy tops and no bra.

Toenail clippings in the rug.

Wet dogs.

Stale dry cigarettes when you just bought them.

Rice.

People who forget the punchline but tell the joke anyway.

Getting hairspray in your eye.

Leaving town for the weekend and remembering the video rentals you left sitting on the counter.

The GST.

People who phone and then sigh heavily when you answer the phone.

People who name their genitalia. E.G.: little Rob, etc.

Babies who don't smile when you make a face at them.

Kids that steal stuff, and the parents that deny their child could be capable.

Day construction when you're on night duty.

Private jokes that people won't explain.

Loud headphones when you're on the bus.

Service staff with attitude.

Having a boss younger than myself.

People who ask you not to smoke in a public place.

Dentists with bad breath.

The Spice Girls.

*FIN*

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