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Season 3
The
Note
George, Jerry, and
Elaine get notes from a dentist friend in order to have
their insurance pay for their massages. George thinks IT
moved when he got his massage. Kramer claims to have seen
Joe DiMagio at Dinky Donuts. "He dunked!"
The
Truth
Jerry is getting
audited and he gives his records to George's girlfriend
because she is an ex-IRS agent. George then dumps her and
she forces him to tell her the truth about why. She then
checks into a mental hospital and throws away Jerry's
records. Kramer is dating Elaine's roommate and sees
Elaine naked.
The
Pen
Jerry and Elaine visit
Jerry's parents in Florida and end up sleeping on a bad
sofa bed. Jerry causes a stir when he accepts an
astronaut pen from Jack Klompus, Morty Seinfeld's
neighbour.
The
Dog
Jerry gets stuck
taking care of a dog owned by some drunk he met on an
airplane. Jerry, George, and Elaine plan on going to see
a movie put when Jerry can't go George and Elaine find it
uncomfortable to spend time alone.
The
Library
Jerry is hounded by a library
policeman to return "Tropic of Capricorn" -
overdue since 1971. Jerry calls on his girlfriend at the
time to prove that he did return the book but ends up
remembering that he had given the book to George. George
runs into the gym teacher that caused him to lose the
book by giving him a wedgie. Kramer entices the spinster
librarian. This has some of the best dialog for a one
time character.
The Parking Garage
The whole gang spends
the entire episode looking for Kramer's car in a mall
parking garage. George and Jerry get arrested for
urinating. Elaine's fish die. Kramer has to lug around an
air conditioner.
The
Cafe
Jerry befriends Baboo,
an immigrant restaurant owner that never has any
customers. Elaine takes an IQ test for George but ends up
doing bad. They get caught cheating when they try it a
second time.
The
Tape
Someone leaves an
erotic message on Jerry's tape recorder while he is
performing. George hears of a Chinese cure for baldness
and has Ping order it for him. When George finds out that
it was Elaine that left the message he falls in love with
her.
The
Nose Job
George is dating a
beautiful woman with a huge nose. Kramer tells her to get
a nose job but when it turns out bad George breaks up
with her. Kramer uses Elaine to get a jacket from his
mom's boyfriend. Jerry is dating a hot chick who is
totally stupid. His brain plays chess against his penis
to see whether she stays.
The
Stranded
George gets short
changed at the drug store and vows revenge. Jerry and
Elaine go to a party on Long Island with George but get
stuck there when George takes a women home. The party
host stops by Jerry's apartment to kill some time but
Jerry has to leave. George tries to steal and gets
arrested. Jerry returns home to find that the host has
had a call girl there and then Jerry gets arrested for
solicitation.
The
Alternate Side
Jerry's car gets
stolen and he has trouble getting a rental. George takes
over parking cars for the tenants but can't handle it.
Kramer gets to be in a Woody Allen movie. Elaine dates an
older man who has a stroke just before she can dump him.
"These pretzels are making me thirsty."
The
Red Dot
Elaine gets George a
job so he buys her a cashmere sweater with a slight flaw.
Jerry accidentally gives Elaine's boyfriend a drink not
knowing he is an alcoholic. George has sex with the
cleaning lady and gives her the sweater to shut her up.
The
Subway
Everyone has an
adventure on the subway. Elaine gets stuck and misses a
lesbian wedding. Kramer gets a tip on a horse and then
almost gets robbed of his winnings. George meets a
beautiful woman and the she robs him at her hotel room.
Jerry meets a naked man and goes to Coney Island with
him.
The Pez Dispenser
Jerry makes Elaine
laugh at George's girlfriend's piano recital. George gets
"hand" by breaking up with her before she could
break up with him. Kramer invents "The Beach".
The comedy gang holds an intervention for a friend on
drugs.
The
Suicide
Jerry dates his
neighbor's girlfriend when he goes into a coma. George
lets Kramer go on his dream vacation because a psychic
starts to warn him about something bad. Elaine breaks her
fast by eating Newman's Dreggs Coffee Cake. George
mentions having a brother.
The
Fix-up
Elaine and Jerry
fix-up George and a friend by describing their best
features. Kramer gives George a condom that ends up being
bad and George thinks he gets the girl pregnant.
The
Boyfriend
One hour episode where
Jerry befriends Keith Hernandez and acts like they are
dating each other. George tells the employment agency
that he had an interview at Vandelay Industries. Keith
goes out with Elaine but she dumps him when she finds out
he smokes. Jerry and Kramer go see the baby. Jerry breaks
it off with Keith when he asks him to help him move.
The
Limo
Jerry and George takes
someone else's limo from the airport and are mistaken for
leaders of the Aryan Union.
The
Good Samaritan
Jerry witnesses a hit
and run but when he goes to confront the woman he winds
up dating her. Kramer has a seizure whenever he hears
Mary Hart's voice. Jerry tries to tell the hit and run
victim what happened but she ends up thinking he did it.
The
Letter
Jerry's girlfriend
paints "The Kramer" and then plagiarizes a
movie in a letter she writes to him. Elaine wears an
Orioles baseball cap to the Yankee's game and refuses to
take it off.
The
Parking Space
George fights over a
parking space with a friend of Kramer's that thinks Jerry
is a phony.
The
Keys
Kramer is using Jerry's
apartment too much so Jerry takes his keys back. Kramer
then takes his keys and gives them to George. George
takes his keys from Elaine to give to Jerry but doesn't
give Jerry Elaine's keys. Kramer decides to pursue his
acting bug in Los Angeles.