| "We have
to… Well, you don’t have to, but I have to: launder the bed sheets
and the stuff in the hamper, make the bed, take a shower, lay out our wedding
clothes for Craig to take to the dry-cleaners, get dressed, pack our robes
and toothbrushes, do my hair and makeup, remember to get our camera from
Craig, and take out the garbage." She exhaled, then finished with,
"all in the next hour."
I didn’t interrupt her, but when she was finished, I said, "You know, I am not a guest here, anymore. Whatever has to be done, we will do. It’s our job, we are partners." This pleased her. She smiled and asked, "well, what do you want to do?" "Help you make the bed, then help you take a shower," I cheekily replied. Lily laughed. She put the list back on the fridge, then embraced me. She looked up at me and laughed again. "How about a bath? I didn’t have that huge tub installed, to be in there by myself!" "Sounds like a plan," I agreed. "I’ll pull the sheets off, and you get the water running." "Cool," Lily replied, as she started towards the bathroom. "Where do we keep the clean sheets?" I called after her. "In the armoire, top shelf," Lily called back, with the sound of gurgling water, in the background. The armoire in the bedroom, I presumed. I removed the sheets from the bed, and stuffed them in the hamper. I opened the armoire doors, and pulled out another set of white sheets. These had a cut-work hem. Lily joined me in the bedroom, and asked, "do you know how to make hospital corners?" I said I didn’t, but at least I’d heard of them. Lily grinned wryly and said, "I’ll talk you through it." We made short work of reassembling the bed. Lily arranged the extra throw pillows, on top. "Beautiful," I commented. "Yes, I think so, too. Thank you." Lily went to the closet and picked up the hamper. She asked, "do you want to put our wedding clothes in the living room, for Craig? Oh yeah, can you hang up my cape, while you’re at it?" I said, "sure." "Thanks!" Lily was grinning, eyebrows raised. I think, she might have thought this was bizarre, somehow. She just stood there, hamper in hands, watching as I took her dress and my tux from the closet, and headed out with them. "Coming?" I said, looking back at her. Her answer had a "don’t tease me" quality: "Yes!" She followed me out. "Meet ya in the tub!" She said, as we parted. I finished with my chore first, of course, so I went to the fridge, to see what else I could do. I planned to take the garbage out, as we left. I could clean up what was left of the breakfast mess. Lily had already washed the cookware. I collected our dishes from the bedroom, and scraped them off, into the compost bucket. And, I washed them and put them in the rack to dry. Then, I changed my mind, and dried them off myself, and put them in the cupboard. No big deal. Lily turned off the water, as I came into the bathroom. I held her hand, as she gingerly stepped in. "Hot!" She exclaimed. She lowered herself in, and I got in, too. Lily lowered her head under the water, then came up again. "I’m so glad, to finally be able to get all this gunk out of my hair!" "I know. I can relate," I told her. "They put some in my hair, for practically every music video we shoot." Lily prefers things simple and au naturel. Her biggest concession to fashion convention, came when we started being seen together. She said from then on, she would always wear makeup in public, not just for special occasions, since her chances of getting her picture taken, had increased at least a thousand-fold. Lily is so fair, that she didn’t want to look like a ghost, on film. Lily told me that she would prefer it, if I were to describe her as "fair as the moon," instead of "pale as a ghost." My Lily is as fair as the moon! As bright as the sun! As majestic as the stars in procession! And, I told her so. The first time I saw Lily, she looked like a just like a porcelain doll, to me. Later, when she turned, and looked in my direction, my heart stopped. Then, when she came to me, and smiled at me, and spoke to me… The man I had been, died. I could not respond. And finally, when she touched my hand, it was like an electric shock to my system! I lived again! Only as a different person. Lily was shampooing her long locks. "They must have put in a whole cup of goo." "But, it looked great," I said. "It did, that’s true," she agreed. "But, I don’t plan to make a habit of it." "Good thing we’ve got pictures, then." I pronounced it "goo-ed." Lily laughed at this, too. Lily seems genuinely entertained by all my puns. No matter how stupid. But then, she has often start giggling to herself, for no discernible reason. I kept asking, "what?" But, she would just apologize, and ask me to please try to ignore her manic outbursts. It was very intriguing, and even entertaining, to me. But sometimes, I wished she would explain herself. I figured I would ask her, outright. Lily did say she wouldn’t hold anything back, anymore. But, I didn’t know how to bring it up, so I decided to wait, until she did it again. Lily lowered her head into the water again, and turned it slowly, back and forth. I watched her hair flow, free of that stiffening gunk, and increasingly free of suds. It was a beautiful sight. When she finally came up, she was panting. She stayed under for quite a long time. "You know, we do have a hand shower you could use," I reminded her. "True," she replied, catching her breath. "Habit. I guess I should break it. Shall we wash your hair?" "We could, but we probably don’t have time," I said. "Let’s do it tomorrow." "O.K. It’s a date!" Lily said. She squeezed water from her hair, then stepped out of the tub. She took a towel, and dried her hair a little, as she sat down, on the edge of the tub. Then she started scrubbing the dead skin off her feet. Then, she worked her way up, rubbing every inch of her body with the towel. I watched. Last of all, she bent over, letting her hair fall in front of her, and dried it more thoroughly with a second towel. Lily was pink all over, from the heat of the water, and from rubbing herself. I gritted my teeth. "Stop looking at her," I told myself. I concentrated on drying myself off. We didn’t have time for that. And, she’d probably had enough for one morning, anyway. It surprised me, that I apparently hadn’t had enough. Impatiently, I said to myself, "calm down, would ya?" I seemed to be on a hair-trigger. Sure, I desired Lily, when we were engaged. Absolutely. But, I knew that it wasn’t going to happen, until we were married. It was hard, but I was able to keep myself under control. I could hardly wait to marry her. But, now that we’ve been together, and Lily says she’s there, any time I want her… Well, it’s more difficult to deny myself, when she’s available. I thought it would be easier, after our wedding! But, this is definitely worse. I think it’s because during our engagement, I only had a fantasy of what it would be like, to be with Lily. Now, I know for sure how great it is. I was just going to have to tell myself, you can’t have her, just like I did, before we married. That’s the only solution I could think of. That, and not looking at her, at least when she’s naked. It’s worth the torture, though. I’d rather be married. "What’s the matter?" Lily saw the look of consternation on my face. She had her robe on again, thankfully. I let out a sigh, and said, "My enthusiasm for you, has gotten the better of me." "Enthusiasm for me? Really?" Lily queried. "You mean, you want more? Now?" "Uh…" I looked down, in embarrassment. "Um, I’m not asking you to, Lily. I’m just surprised at myself, is all." I looked up at her, helplessly. But then I smiled, at myself and my situation. "Lily… the smell of you, the sight of you, your presence, your touch… your love! They all have me perpetually half-cocked." Lily listened, mouth agape. I looked down again, even more embarrassed. "Oh Lily, you’ve conquered me. Do with me what you will." "Oh, Rick!" Lily said, as I kneeled and kissed her hand. She held my hand in both of hers, and kissed mine back. "What am I going to do with you, my beloved? I love you," Lily said, as she tried to help me up. "But, are you O.K.? Do you need to? I mean, I guess I could do my makeup and hair on the way to the airport, if needs be. C’mon." She walked us toward the bedroom, arm in arm. "No, it’s O.K., Lily. I’ll survive!" I answered. I had to learn to pace myself. Lily wasn’t a sex object. "Oh! You have to survive me?" "Well, I think I’d rather be tortured, then be away from you," I told her. "Torture?! Oh, dear!" Lily said, with quiet concern. "Tell me what I can do." I shouldn’t have used such a strong word. It was how I felt, but by saying it, I was causing her to suffer too, judging by the look that was on her face. "Maybe, if we get your mind on something else?" Lily offered. "Yeah…" was all I could think to say about that. "Don’t worry about me, I’ll work it out." "Can I tell you something, Rick?" Lily asked. "Oh, never mind, it’s not exactly changing the subject…" "Tell me. It’s O.K. I can take it! I doubt the torture could get worse… Well, maybe it could." I was imagining some stuff, but Lily would never be that purposely cruel. I put those thoughts out of my head. Then I laughed, "I’m sorry! I’m not making you feel any better, am I?" I had used the "T" word again! "Well, it’s just that I kind of understand," Lily stated, "and it is torture!" "I suppose, that saying ‘no’ to sex ‘til you were almost 30, could be somewhat torturous," I said, nodding. "No! That wasn’t torture! It could be really frustrating at times, but I wouldn’t call it torture," Lily told me. "I mean, wanting something so badly, when it’s yours, but you can’t still have it, at least not yet. And, it doesn’t seem like it will ever happen…" I could tell Lily was talking about herself, now. "Let’s get dressed, and you can tell me what you mean," I said. I hadn’t been doing well, when I would try to guess what she meant. Plus, I really had no idea what she was talking about. I would never have guessed in a million years, what she was about to confess. |
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"Love
Among The Ruins" by Sir
Edward Burne-Jones, courtesy of CGFA.
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