Symptoms

Are you or is someone you know being emotionally or physically abused? Here are the tall-tale signs along with other important information.

For yourself…

Does your partner shove, hit, shake or slap you?

Does your partner make light of the abuse, insist that it didn’t happen, or shift the responsibility for his abusive behavior, blaming you for it?

Does your partner continually put you down, call you names, or humiliate you?

Does your partner intimidate you through looks or actions, destroy your property, or display weapons?

Does your partner control what you do, who you see and talk to, and where you go, limiting your involvement outside the relationship?

Are you made to feel guilty about the children, or has your partner threatened to take the children away?

Do you accept responsibility for the batterer's actions?

For family and friends…

Does she appear anxious, depressed, withdrawn, and reluctant to talk?

Does her partner criticize her in front of you, making remarks that make you feel uncomfortable when you’re around the two of them?

Do you see or hear about repeated bruises, broken bones, or other injuries that reportedly result from "accidents"?

Does her partner try to control her every move, make her account for her time, and accuse her of having affairs?

Is she often late or absent from work, has she quit a job altogether, or does she leave social engagements early because her partner is waiting for her?

Is she forbidden from seeing friends unless he is along?

Is she limited in her freedom as a child would be. For example,"Go to the store, get milk and come straight home. It should take you 15 minutes"

Does she have low self-esteem and/or poor self-concept. The woman speaks very poorly of herself. She is unable to make eye contact, always looks away or at the ground when talking

Does she complain of nonspecific aches and pains that are constant and recurring? These are stress related problems.

Sweet Baby Syndromes (How He Gets To Come Back)

Honeymoon Syndrome: also known as "Hearts and Flowers" any bribe that will get her to return to him.

Super Dad Syndrome: he tells her that he will be a great dad if she returns. This works especially if he has neglected the kids in the past.

Revival Syndrome: this is not really a valid revival or salvation since he has probably only gone to church only a few times. "I have been going to church every Sunday since you left." I have accepted Christ into my life." He puts the responsibility for his battering on God.

Sobriety Syndrome: "If he can stop drinking he will stop beating me" Drinking does not cause beating--if it did, then they would beat strangers on the street.

Counseling Syndrome: "I have gone to counseling, I won't do it anymore." Long term counseling is needed and less that 1% voluntarily go into counseling.

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