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Jeffries begins to find his thoughts haunted by memories of a system gone wrong. Compounding the injustice, superiors respond to his fit of outrage by engineering Jeffries' reassignment to menial duties in an effort to shame him into quitting. However, he refuses to take the bait and accepts reassignment. Like a narc detective busted to traffic duty, he soldiers on through a boring wiretap with a green recruit and, then, is sent on a low-level missing child report.

Little does Jeffries realize that this nickle-and-dime assignment will plant him squarely in the crosshairs of a high level NSA cover-up using black ops methods to minimize exposure of a top-secret project.

A convoluted, gripping drama rapidly unfolds that will really draw you into it. Willis plays Jeffries with a compelling undercurrent of morality and justice, a lonely man in a hard-nosed career who hasn't lost his basic humanity. There is wonderful comic relief throughout this powerful, extremely entertaining movie and a gratifying sub-plot in which Jeffries opens his life and finds the friendship of a woman and a child as its reward.

Incredibly, Alec Baldwin's role as NSA Colonel Nicholas Kudrow is only incidental. However, it is essential and he plays it menacingly and intuitively. Kudrow is one pathologically bad guy; and, Baldwin can say a world about it with just the look in his eyes. You get a real chill from this guy.

Thrown together in circumstances beyond their control, Jeffries, Simon (Miko Hughes) and Stacey (Kim Dickens) begin to build bonds of familiarity, trust and caring amid a fast-paced, changing landscape of terror and intrigue. His ripening relationship with Simon is particularly touching and lovely.

Miko Hughes does an incredibly believable job of playing the autistic Simon, and Kim Dickens was a good choice for the part of Stacey. She was very likable and added the appropriate edge of caution to her role. A great touch was Chi McBride's warm and reserved portrayal of Tommy Jordan, Jeffries' loyal FBI bud.

This movie is rich soil for the imagination that won't disappoint. There is no nudity, there are probably three or four contextual coarse words; however, as mentioned earlier, there are strong contextual combat sequences that would not be appropriate for pacifier-suckers. So leave the kiddy crowd and wimpies at home, and bring mature teens and adults.

It's 2058 and the World is ecologically doomed with 20 years to find a new planet. But don't worry if you're snagged in a long popcorn line, the movie gets off to a creep. However, the spacecraft's take-off was breathtaking and as real as a space shuttle launch! And that was just the opener in a steady stream of riveting action, special effects and scientific phenomena that captivate your imagination.

The Robinson's, lead by Professor/Dad (William Hurt) warp-speed ahead to build a space gate at Alpha Prime on the far side of the universe. Alas, a traitorous Dr. Smith, played excellently by Gary Olman, sabotages the ship and the Robinsons are now Lost in Space. (Olman brings to mind the notorious Emperor Ming of Flash Gordon days.)

From Robot reprogrammed to kill, to incredibly life-like animated quasi-monkey creature, to killer space spiders, the family plus two manages the illogical leap between courageousness and the "warm fuzzies" and back -- repeatedly.

Gee, these space travellers are just like us... Not! This otherwise delightful Sci-fi adventure sports at least 4 instances of profanity. When hotshot pilot Major Don West (Matt LeBlanc) goes for a double-handed grab, he gets rebuffed by love-interest/biologist/daughter, Judy (Heather Graham), with an off-color reference to his "joystick". Argument-breaker/Space Mom, (Mimi Rogers), tells her hubby and Major West to quit their "p_ssing contest" and later refers to this as diplomacy. Hey! Wack screenwriter alert! They even have young Will Robinson (10ish), played by Jack Johnson,  using the word "sh_t" as part of his dialogue!

A Brady Bunch "We made it!" ending leaves you wondering "what's up?" with this constant burger-flippng between family bonding and graituitous course talk. In spite of it's blemishes, this is great entertainment for mature teens and over, just be aware of the raw speech.

Don't worry Jackie fans.. this is just the opening few minutes of the story. The action does pick up. It's an hilarious, rough-and-tumble suspension of reality with some of the neatest stunts I've ever seen: all Jackie Chan's stock-in-trade. There is no nudity (only a short lingerie shot of the supermodel reporter)and only slight profanity. It IS enough profanity, though, to exclude anyone younger than mature teens and adults.

Parents puzzled by their kid's filthy mouths need look no farther than the movies they are allowed to see, the movies their little unsupervised school friends watch and emmulate, and the increasingly filthy content of printed matter available to children.

The Dynamic Diaper Duo thoroughly enjoyed this movie. It's a hugely entertaining afternoon romp for big-people!

Sheridan's past becomes more and more mysterious the more it's investigated, and when facts just don't jibe, Gerard smells a rat. The question is: Who's the rat? It could be any of a number of people; and, you'll find yourself suspecting -- and re-suspecting -- each of them to be the REAL bad guy before the finale.

This is not a trite sequel to another movie. This is a supremely engrossing rollercoaster ride... much more interesting than The Fugitive (itself merely a high-budget re-hash of the old TV series.) U.S. Marshals is a riveting, lightening-fast mystery-chase-suspense-thriller with more twists and turns than an English garden maze. You are forced to THINK. You are constantly being thrown a curve.

Irene Jacob plays a French resident alien working in an upscale coffee shop, and Sheridan's loyal, unsuspecting girlfriend. She has a mesmerizing, simple beauty and a natural, unaffected manner that makes her performance seem easy and completely genuine. You gotta love that delicate French accent!

A supporting actor I really liked was Joe Pantoliano. He is terrific as Deputy Marshal Cosmo Renfro.

Robert Downey Jr. is completely believable as the sociopathic Federal agent John Royce. Sometimes you almost like him. Mostly, you just don't. He has the smug, untrustworthy air of that angler in every corporate office whom you KNOW not to turn your back on.

This was really a stellar cast and everyone did a good job. Pleasantly, there was NO NUDITY! The violence and gun play are givens. Unfortunately, however, the profanity level is brutal, though basically contextual. (At least you DO hear "God" and "Jesus" more often than in a Sunday sermon; but, you won't like the emphasis.) At some point, you ask yourself innocently "Does the screenwriter have terminal Turette's Syndrome?" You quickly answer "YES! Undeniably!" No doubt, when they edit this one for TV, it'll look more like one of those comical Samurai flicks with the choppy English voice-overs.

Paul Newman is deft and intuitive in his portrayal of burned-out detective Harry Ross. Ross's last case was to retrieve his client's moon-struck teenage daughter from an unwise Mexican fling. He suffers what becomes, unbeknown to him, a widely misinterpreted wound from the daughter's horseplay with his gun after he drops it in a scuffle. A short recuperative stay in the garage apartment of the client's palatial, Hollywood estate evolves with the passage of time and Harry assumes additional roles and responsibilities, becoming sort of an extended family relative.

After a life of hard knocks, including divorce, alcoholism, and the loss of his police job, the stay provides a safe harbor with kitchen privileges, a blush of ease and a sense of belonging. He forms a bond with his adopted family and handles errands in return for room and board. One fateful errand sets events in motion that eventually turn everyone's life upside down, as the savvy former detective begins to catch up to a seamy extortion scheme in which bodies just start piling up like cordwood.

This is a smooth, generous movie with just the right amount of drama and mystery. If you loved the Perry Mason TV series; if you ooh'd and ah'd over Mulholland Falls and LA Confidential, this is the right candy for you. It's generally a more mature, sophisticated take on that style of movie and every bit as engrossing. BUT, watch out! There is gratuitous nudity.

This is not a show for the young or possibly even their parents. Two unbashful "co-stars" pop out early onto the silver screen from the chest of actress Reese Witherspoon, who plays the daughter (Mel) of Harry Ross's employer Jack Ames and his wife Catherine, both former movie people (Gene Hackman and Susan Sarandon.) Her basic purpose in life is to balance utopia with rebellion and teenage sarcasm; but, for viewers, she presents another problem. Those who would blanch at approximately one solid minute of tight, well-focused footage of a young woman's breasts, should stay away from the movie's opening segment. Plan to be fashionably late.

Susan Sarandon has finally proven that she is a professional in this movie, with a mature subtlety, and an incredible range of facial expression that is both stunning and intensely captivating. She could lose her body in a bomb blast and still give an Oscar-winner with just her neck and face! Gene Hackman is invariably a winning, charming sentimental favorite, regardless the role. And James Garner, as usual, plays Jim Rockford... only in a smoother, less-estimable, better-heeled variation: sort of a slant on John Wayne's method of always playing John Wayne (except in True Grit). I enjoyed it, regardless, because I always liked the Rockford Files... and because it somehow works.

An added word of caution: Susan has a few little surprises for you in HER bag of tricks. If you find the prospect of two fleeting/unfocused nude scenes of Ms. Sarandon unsettling, then you'd better have your forearm at the ready and on Emergency Alert! You'll get 'em whether you like it or not, and they spring on you like a jungle cat.

Ever honestly wonder why all the movie nudity, even as more of us are openly questioning it? Maybe when you spend your entire career staring into mirrors and camera lenses, you become focused on proving that: (A) you've finally got "it" or (B) "it's" never left you. Possibly, on the flip side of the camera lense, a pertinent question would be "Does Pee-wee's Pastime haunt the private screening rooms of Hollywood?" (For collateral research on this subject, try this: http://www.inindy.com/allmedia/august/twentyseven.htm ) Maybe insider-Hollywood really IS a narcissistic netherworld of unrealistic Peter Pans who've never grown up, and never need to... With no traditional moral conscience and no parents to spank them.

"And they shall drive thee from men, and thy dwelling shall be with the beasts of the field: they shall make thee to eat grass as oxen, and seven times shall pass over thee, until thou know that the most High ruleth in the kingdom of men, and giveth it to whomsoever he will.

And at the end of the days, I.. lifted up mine eyes unto heaven, and mine understanding returned unto me, and I blessed the most High, and I praised and honored him that liveth for ever..

..my reason returned unto me; and.. mine honour and brightness returned unto me.. I was established in my kingdom, and excellent majesty was added unto me."  Dan. 4: 32 - 36

This is a story about flawed lives, about reality in this world. It is a deeply moving intimate portrayal of chances lost and lives redeemed. It is beautiful and, in some way, it will touch every viewer personally... a remembrance of a past experience or feeling, an event in the life of a friend or loved one. It is so real... it will bring out that buried emotion for a moment. Robert Duvall has directed and starred in possibly the best movie ever made. Whether or not you like the subject matter, the work stands as an intuitive masterpiece. It is a careful study of everyman, deft and perfectly performed.

The main character is a charismatic evangelist who, from the age of 12, devoted himself to God, yet failed to see and account for the hypocrisy and harmful effect of his failings.... that is, until he turned a corner in his life that could not be undone. At that point, he experiences an awakening and makes a dramatic break with his former life, sincerely renewing and deepening his commitment to doing God’s will. The charity and sincerity that grows in this man, the love he gives and receives will have you pulling for him to the end.

Did I say this is a masterpiece? It is one on every conceivable level. Go and take everybody over ten.

The stunning opening credit work portended much; but, alas... This movie has no sense of dramatic timing. Yawning lapses in enthusiasm, a truly inconsistent quality to the script-writing, perfunctory acting that suggests poor chemistry on the set, slap-dash directing and theme music that seems written for a more exciting movie all add to the impression of a second rehearsal using rough script drafts, rather than a blockbuster thriller.

The sound level varies between cuts and stunts, while often dramatic, are often poorly integrated into the story or scenes and, thus, loose much of their punch. You are almost always aware of the ending of one take and the beginning of another, even when they are part of the same scene; but, as the movie nears the last thirty minutes, this flaw is heightened by a growing lack of continuity from one take to the next until, finally, it appears that the whole goal of entertainment has been usurped by an unapologetic and undisguised effort to simply bring the movie to a close.

Over dinner at the our cozy neighborhood grill, a senior member of the Diaper entourage remarked that the "dialogue was a little desperate." Another veteran enjoined "Glad I didn't have to pay for it!"

Ralph Fiennes is too good to be in this movie. If he's seen the final cut, he probably realizes this... to his doubtless dismay and horror. The best one-word characterization of the original Avengers is INTELLIGENT. The best word for this movie is INSIPID. Were it not for the irresistability of my movie morsels, the ingestometer ratings would have been way below par.

Varsity Blues has LOTS OF HEART, fiercely genuine portrayals, and graphic realism! You LIVE the story because it IS the story. Anyone who has ever had the semblance of a full high school and/or college experience can relate to this as though it is real and happening... no flaws. And that's part of the problem. This leaves nothing to the imagination. Not the pornographically raw sexual exposure and wantonness, the glorification of rowdy alcoholism, the coarse language... NOTHING.

Granted, it's all part of some kids' lives. It should not be made an icon or, as is currently the case, promoted by the likes of MTV with a largely teen viewing audience. This is absolutely a great movie and absolutely inappropriate for young people to learn from and to emulate... with the exception of the wonderful example of John "Mox" Moxon the late-blooming, bedeviled, and highly praiseworthy, reluctant quarterback who saves the day, saves the day, and saves the day again; despite the flaws of others, and the obstructions and provocations they pose.

Jon Voight played the role of his life as a corrupt and egomaniacal head coach, Bud Kilmer, whose all-consuming vision is another championship year. He is totally controlling, and controlled and driven by his own myth and insuperable ego, with callous disregard for those entrusted to his care. You'll cheer his performance and despise the character. And you'll root for Moxx and Billy Bob (My favorite character.), who come through despite all odds. Both roles are magnificiently acted, as are every one of the roles I can recall.

In this movie, Voight, like Meryl Streep, has proven himself capable of something few actors can honestly claim. Forget the DeCaprios and the other "gloss babies" - more hype than substance. Voight captures the character of Kilmer so well, that "Voight the actor" is completely sublimated and the coach is the only human being present... living, breathing, palpably real with all of his warts! There is even a complete physical metamorphosis that occurs in your mind. You just don't imagine Voight at all. THAT'S acting, and you want to wring his neck and scratch his eyes out he's so evil. Cutting him off in traffic just ISN'T good enough!

Bring a quick forearm to obscure the recurrent nudity and have forefingers at the ready to cover tender ears against the onslaught of realistic, but frequent, profanity. But, be prepared, despite this, to enjoy the incredibly fine and often very funny movie underneath. This is a show for adults... No way around it. And, it's obviously not for ALL adults. What a pity. It has ALL of the makings of a great inspirational film, except - as is SO OFTEN the case with an unrepentantly dissolute and degenerate Hollywood - the managerial integrity. What a shame the whole family can't see this. They would have enjoyed the story, too. (Maybe what the Diaper Duo saw will be changed before it is released to the whole country. Try lobbying for it. HURRY! IT'S DUE OUT JANUARY 15th.)

Riggs (Gibson) and Murtaugh (Glover)begin with an appetizer of street violence (in which Riggs tricks Murtaugh into dancing in his skivies) and gradually work toward the entree as the movie progresses. An intricate plot of separate intrigues involves the ransom of a man's family by a Communist Chinese officer and the kidnap of other Chinese needed to counterfeit some Chinese money. Then there is the people-smuggling operation and, sadly, ANOTHER catastrophe befalls Murtaugh's ill-fated house.

The action on the freeway was WHITE KNUCKLE STUFF! The car chase. The fighting and fighting inside of one half of an open, double-wide "manufactured house" being towed by a semi. Very absorbing. Very much reminiscent of our last spy case. Wow, you know that concrete can be toasty when you're skidding down it at 60 miles per hour on a game table. Just ask Mrs. Diaper!

There is no nudity that I can recall, and I'm very sharp on that; but the bad words would span the waistline of Santa Claus in 10 point pica... and Santa Claus wouldn't sit through them all. So DON'T take any children you care about. Go W-A-R-N-E-D if you decide to go with adults. It's a great action film that will keep you tremendously engrossed. It is decently acted and the mix of humor, always good, is made even better by Chris Rock's consumate skills; but its got a bite.

Don Diego de la Vega (aka Zorro), as a younger man, loses his wife, daughter, home and freedom to the envious and evil (more so than Snidely Whiplash) Don Rafael Montero. You'll want to scratch his eyes out, even if you're a man. I had to restrain Mrs. Diaper. Our consumables ran out quickly during the early action... Always a good sign.

As time goes along, things change in old Mejico. The Spaniards begin returning to Spain and Don Raphael (very ably played by Stuart Wilson) sees a golden opportunity. With the aid of his equally evil and devious sidekick, U.S. Marine Captain Harrison Love (Matt Letscher) he puts together the elements that will help him pull off a massive power grab.

But guess who steps, or step, in to spoil his oats? The two Zorros, of course! Zorro gets his daughter back and Zorro stops the bad guys and Zorro gets the girl. Only two men could be so bold!

There is great humor, great acting, great drama. Terrifico! Muy terrifico! The locations and costumes were equally great. The sword fights were edge-of-the-seat masterpieces! The other action was... Magnifico! There is no cussing, no nudity (In one scene, Elena has her clothing cut away above the waist; but nothing shows due to her thick, long hair. Very tastefully handled!) The only thing that I can imagine as difficult for sub-teens would be the good old-time body stabbing. But what do you expect! It's high-stakes action adventure... Manful fighting for the cause of good. When it ended, I clapped with both hands and feet until Mrs. Diaper threw her cape over my head.

Thankfully, the closeups of penis-caught-in-a-zipper and of shriveled breasts were latex fakes, but that doesn't remove the offensiveness. And that offensiveness is not just the bad taste represented, but the low estimation of you... the viewer.

There are people who will bristle at the use of "retards" to describe some handicapped people. The same delicate souls bristle at the use of "bums" and "hobos" instead of "homeless people" to describe the unemployable, selfish, irresponsible welfare poster children of the last forty years. Some of the comments were cruel, but "retarded" and "handicapped" are accurate words for challenged people: "special" and "exceptional" are feel-good euphemisms. They're PC whitewash. Let's have compassion if that's our nature (We don't have to have any.), but please let's have honesty.

Mrs. Diaper's reaction to the movie's low points: "I don't want to see that. I don't want that to ever be part of my experience again."

If you still think you want to see this movie, consider that there is coarse language. If you STILL want to see it... Well, there IS a romantic sub-plot. Ben Stiller's character (Ted) was high school's throw-back to Cro-Magnon man with his disheveled hair and humongous braces... the unassuming model of low self esteem. Then the UNTHINKABLE happened. The prettiest girl in school, the love of his imagination, agreed to go to the prom with him (the dream of all geeks everywhere.) His nerdy friends bet him that he was lying when he dropped the news at their hangout tree.

The rest of the movie is a revelation that Mary's the antithesis of the shallow, self-absorbed snob that is the stereotypical "high school dream." In fact, she's a kind-hearted sweetheart, with a soft spot for every "bird with a broken wing" (which explains her earlier willingness to go out with Ted.) A whole community of neighbors and other folks receive her kindnesses on a regular basis (but never seem to give anything back.) Unfortunately, that makes her fresh meat for even the lamest of impostors, such as the curb-vegetable PI that Ted hires to find Mary, years and years after graduation.

There ensues a rivalry for Mary's charms (sort of a feeding frenzy) between the PI (Matt Dillon) and Ted... and an old high school ex, and a recent ex... AND a "semi-paralyzed" friend of her's.

Some parts of this movie are charming, sweet and funny. The comedy timing is good. But, this is NOT a family movie. If your mind resembles a toilet, go... but I would suggest growing up instead.

Madeline leads the girls in a school-saving plot as the owner, Lord Covington (Nigel Hawthorne), trys to sell the building. All works out in the end, and Madeline is truly a brave, sweet little heroine.

The opening and closing scenes melt the book's artwork into the live action. Take your children and remember to read the books as well!

I opened a book tonight with the vaguest of goals, just simply to pore over a good passage and make it mine so to speak. I had no specific passage, but tried to direct myself to one that "felt right" with no success. A breeze kept pushing pages around, requiring me to restrain them, as my book holder was insufficient to the task. The solution lay in flipping the preponderance of pages to the other side of the book so as to wedge them firmly under the lip of the book holder as a bulwark against the wind coming from that side. Still the words now open to me were not "the right ones" somehow, until several at the end of the right-hand page stood out.

Turning that page, I read the rest of the sentence and decided to work with it. It was at that point that Mrs. Diaper, as she is want to do, interrupted me with a meaningful insight that she sincerely wanted to communicate; and, because I am usually the better for listening, I acquiesced. According to form, it was just engaging and meaty enough that my budding connection with the earlier endeavor was irreparably fuzzed.

But, that's all right. You see it was simply another lesson in how God's will has nothing to do with human will and cannot be informed or determined by it. It was the distraction from human will that gave me this beautiful message to share with all people of good purpose tonight as we celebrate the Fourth of July and it was my loving partner in life who was God's instrument.

The message is from extemporaneous remarks made by Mary Baker Eddy* after a Sunday service many years ago... a Sunday service given on the Fourth of July! It is substantially as follows:

"The day we celebrate reminds us of the heroes and heroines who counted not their own lives dear to them, when they sought the New England shores... steadfast in faith and love... The Pilgrims came to establish a nation in true freedom, in the rights of conscience.

But what of ourselves, and our times and obligations? Are we duly aware of our great opportunities and responsibilities? Are we prepared to meet and improve them, to act up to the acme of divine energy wherewith we are armored?

Never was there a more solemn and imperious call than God makes to us all, right here, for fervent devotion and an absolute consecration to the greatest and holiest of all causes. The hour is come. The great battle of Armageddon is upon us. The powers of evil are leagued together in secret conspiracy against the Lord and against His Christ... Large numbers, in desperate malice, are engaged day and night in organizing action against us. Their feeling and purpose are deadly, and they have sworn enmity against the lives of our standard-bearers.

What will you do about it? Will you doff your lavender-kid zeal, and become real and consecrated warriors? Will you give yourselves wholly and irrevocably to the great work of establishing the truth, the gospel... which are necessary to the salvation of the world from error, sin, disease and death? Answer at once and practically, and answer aright!"

* Discoverer and founder of Christian Science and author of Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures.

Technically, it's a sophisticated work that seamlessly interlaces essential plot elements from several different periods, on-the-fly, with real-time events. It's an impressive mix of art and skill that adds real depth to characters and events without bogging down the movie's energy or pace.

George Clooney (as Jack Foley) does a masterful job. In ways, he could have taught Cary Grant and Humphrey Bogart a few lessons. He is more natural, fresh, and vulnerable.

Jennifer Lopez (as Federal Marshal Karen Sisko, dating a married former ATF / now FBI agent) is a beautiful and marvelously competent compliment to Clooney's character. The cast is chock full of character actors you'll recognize and thoroughly enjoy. You won't believe who are non-credited in this movie. I'll leave their identities a secret.

Foley uses the escape of two obviously homosexual Latinos to divert attention from his own breakout and runs headlong into Sisko's shotgun barrel. Sisko's attempt to foil a prison break doesn't quite go her way, however, and she winds up sharing a trunk with one of the escapees (Foley), whom she discovers is incredibly appealing in a strange sort of way. Their unfolding relationship is one of the main plot elements... but only one of them. There is also a little matter of some rough-cut diamonds.

There is some contextual sexual inuendo, but no nudity (A bedroom scene without nudity! Very refreshing! How many times has this happened since the 50's?). The language is generally tame, but with some scattered accents of coarse language. Scattered violent scenes are essential to the plot development and are all very brief and handled tastefully, with one forming part of a well-telegraphed sight gag that takes much of the edge away.

Mrs. Diaper and I thoroughly enjoyed this movie both for its classic quality and marvelously intelligent humor. Go see this one, and take mature teens and friends.

Animal animation was top notch, but their character portrayals -- both the hard-edged lines and edgy voices -- were just not generally entertaining... and certainly not sweet enough for children. It doesn't help that the voices of the dog and the tiger are done by two different people and yet sound the same. The voice of Chris Rock, as the guinea pig, was the only worthy performance.

The plot was barely existent and served only as thin glue for what were supposed to be comedy segments. Most of the acting was ho-hum, even Eddie Murphy's. With the hyped comparison to The Nutty Professor, I expected a lot more. Don't take children and don't waste your money.

Diaperous life-form discovered on Mars

As the fictional drama began unfolding amid hauntingly wispy, pavlovian strains of the X Files theme song, the viewer on my right fell into slack-jawed abstraction, as if receiving the codex of a hidden reality. He stayed that way until the final credits, transfixed in a vacant wonder that only true believers know. Often during the movie, he would unconsciouly plunge forward for a closer brush with truth, much as pooch's tongue searches the last blush of flavor in an empty dinner bowl.

He was, o-o-o-oh, 'bout 24. Truly a close encounter of the third kind. He'll be in full costume in a few years, flashing his badge at other X-Filers and echoing the trite shibboleth "No I'm not a door-to-door salesman".

The usual suspects were all there in the movie. To its credit, the story didn't try to out-shine its parent TV series. It was, more, a big-screen version of the series.

A deadly, primordial evilness lurks below the surface in patient hibernation until a contemporary schoolboy happens upon a weak spot and tumbles into a subterranean cavern, waking the evilness. It quickly takes-over his body and makes it a host.

Far away, Scully and Mulder unenthusiastically hunt for the bomb said to be planted in a Federal building.

Their detestable, chain-smoking government nemesis and his secret alliance of world conspirators (The Council on Foreign Relations?) have been engaged in cultural exchange with the Ancient Evilness and have just discovered that things are going sour. Their planned anti-Evilness vaccine is still in beta test and might be too weak.

I fell asleep briefly during the big action scene. (Brief ceasation in Diaper Commentary...)

(Caped Vixen to the rescue!) The deep kid-hole in a North Texas suburb becomes the automatic home of geodesic domes and pristine tanker trucks, ringed loosely by uniformed, gun toting, feds.

Not wanting to give to much away, Mulder is approached by a "knowing" scientist (discredited member of the world conspirators - Dark Diaper comment.) who shares the awful secret. Scully hands in her resignation from the FBI. Killer bees spread a deadly alien virus strain. No one is to be trusted. You can fly to the artic really fast if noone's watching. Everyone is out to knock off Mulder (well, that's not exactly new). Could it get worse? Yes! Resoundingly, yes! Scully's got an alien inside her, yuck!

This is a MUST  for X-filers, but a bit to slow-paced for those of us who thrive on less smoke and dark places with blazes of light and more out and out adventure, intrigue you can actully decipher and bad guys (monsters included) that stay on screen long enough for you to actually figure out what they look like.

Better than most of the TV episodes, but there are a few hum-dingers that top the movie (remember when they were slogging through the sewers with that humanoid alien?).

Verdict... Something is out there.

(Diaper Commentary resumes...)I could have written more, but I like Vixen's summation better. Now, what's with the "corn" angle? Must be that the screenwriter didn't like it. Regardless, the fearless Diaper Duo will press on with plans for corn-on-the-cob with dinner.

No nudity and we don't recall any cuss words. Hope there weren't any. Some scenes could be quite frightening for kiddies.   Leave sub-teens at home, and take all your fellow alien hunters and conspiracy buffs!

They hire Georgie (Kate Beckinsale) to type screen responses for their bogus, "voice-activated" computer scam. She naively believes it to be a well-motivated, though misguided, effort to raise money for orphans.

Both guys are attracted to Georgie who just happens to be engaged to a fella she doesn't love while she attends medical school.

The guys continue bilking rich folks while they "pay back" a guy who stole their laptop with an elaborate sting, part of which backfires landing the duo in jail for three months. This time frame coincides with Georgie's impending marriage to the wrong guy AND the recall of the fifty pound notes our pair have been carefully putting aside for their dream house.

In an unusual twist, (the funeral scene was a hoot) the boys finally get their house along with several deserving house guests and romance blossoms.

Stephen Taylor (Michael Douglas) builds a financial mirage out of heavily leveraged bond holdings illegally used as loan security. When this contorted house of cards begins to fall, he realizes the chilling truth that he faces almost overnight financial ruin in an avalanche of margin calls.

Compounding his gloom is a sense of building betrayal by his wife, Emily (Gwyneth Paltrow), having detected her budding affair with an itinerant painter (Viggo Mortensen). Emily, a United Nations translator, is independently wealthy and is Stephen's society cache'. They have a polite, opulent, tiresome marriage.

Emily, genuine and unaffected, is starved by the relationship and falls into what seems to be a genuinely warm romance with a struggling artist who loves her for herself and apparently knows nothing about her wealth.

As his dilemma deepens, Stephen's distraction with Emily's affair grows, setting in motion a deadly intrigue and a series of unexpected and volatile events that really keep you guessing about what will come next.

This is a gripping adult mystery unfolding amid colliding worlds of lush privilege and stark, grifting vulgarity; rippling with equal parts of envy, greed, and opportunistic deceit.

Thank goodness Poirot is on the job. (David Suchet is police detective Mohamed Karaman! It's a delicious touch.) Coolly savoring each snack morsel, the Diaper Duo relished this movie's close approximation of the dangers and cabals encountered in real superhero living. NOTE: Only 18 year-olds and over.

The "serious" historical backdrop is the assertion that there was another team of explorers led by bumbling Leslie Edwards (Matthew Perry) who, despite monumental self-inflicted setbacks (including rowing against the current) and a late start, manage to actually beat Lewis and Clark in their quest for the Northwest Passage to the Pacific Ocean.

This is the kind of delicious satire that's been in slim supply since Laurel and Hardy hung up their spurs. It's pure foolishness from the opening scene and this is balanced with quality and polish, and terrific physical humor from Farley. It seldom goes over the edge.

I'll miss Chris Farley. He had a perspective on what he was doing. He was in control of his humor. Good humor needs to be balanced. It needs contrast with something else. When Chris needed to provide that contrast, he put as much into that as he did in going for the laugh. I respect that.

Eugene Levy is wickedly funny as Guy Fontenot, the interpreter with dubious language skills. His "Indian woman" (Lisa Barbuscia) could step right into a Vogue or Mademoiselle spread. The proposition of the two of them together is a richly laughable sight gag.

Tussles with a bear, bullets, conquistadors, eagles, and rapids; and unexpected help from a band of octogenarian Indians help to round out the eccentric, moronic, and delightful mischief.

Mathew Broderick plays Dr. Nick Tatopoulos, a scientist who tracks phenomenal growth in worms after a nuclear reactor breakdown. Our military snaps him up at Chernobyl to analyze the radioactive footprints found in Panama. No sooner do they get started then there's an emerging reptile in Manhattan.

Ex-girl friend, now aspiring to be reporter, Audrey Timmonds (Maria Pitillo), leaks the monster pregnancy tests and top secret monster video in an attempt to further her own career and this lands Nick with the French underground. You with me so far?

Story twists aside, this is a monster movie that DELIVERS! Plenty of "stepping on" New York scenes as Godzilla checks out the lay of the land and works to avoid those annoying little helicopters.

Its in your face adventure when the eggs hatch, all 200 or so of them, and the mandatory chases begin! It was like seeing 9 foot tall, blunt snouted velociraptor-like monsterettes, everywhere.

We thoroughly enjoyed this monster romp -- my jelly bean box was empty way to soon. Great animatronics. The cab ride was especially thrilling.

Still wondering why there is the "need" to use fowl language, which by the way came early in the movie and from an actress. Come on Hollywood, Godzilla's for kids, clean up the wording will 'ya?!! And why didn't they ask Rush Limbaugh to play Raymond Burr's part this time?? (...Guess it's because he lost weight.)

Note:  Do not bring little children to this movie like some in our audience did.  It will scare them and is especially selfish for other people watching to hear little ones crying - it IS a monster movie!!!