Publius Leget wrote Sun 7/24/16 @20:13 CDT:

Last week's "Lexington's most wanted" charges:

Shandrick White:  Mobery.
Mandi Endicott and Stephan Fisher:  Un-
   wanted solicitation of Shandrick White.

We don't need to "make America great again"; it's already
great. We're right behind Canada in health care, and there
is more terrorism in France than there is in America.  It'd
be greater with fewer drones,  less focus  on international
regime change,  abandonment of  perpetual  war,  guaran-
teed income,  fewer prison cells  and free education – but
those are not reforms the Trumpites are talking about.

Hog wrestling continued at the Monroe, Greene, Owen and
Lawrence county fairs despite protests  by  pig  lovers  and
cancellation of sanctioning by 4-H  (ah, er, just what is hog
wrestling?). . . .

Sixteen Indianapolis policemen fired 200 rounds in a shoot-
out with one suspect (he died). . . .

An off-duty Indianapolis policeman shot a police detective
who went to the off-duty cop's home to investigate a report
of domestic violence. . . .

A pest control company killed about 400 Canadian geese  on
a golf course and in three city parks on contract with the city
of Mishawaka,  and  buried them  (previous attempts to shoo
the geese with bottle rockets,  golf carts  and  a  fake  coyote
failed).
                                                 [courtesy Columbus Republic]

South Bend's most wanted: Deanna Tilman, BF, 5'7", 160 lbs, cocaine, firewater, escape; Dylan Kerns, WM, 5'10", 200 lbs, cocaine; Joshua Flora, WM, 5'7", 170 lbs, counterfeiting; Natasha Norris, BF, 5'3", 150 lbs, battery, failure to appear (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

A hair code prohibiting dreadlocks and cornrows  at  a  Louis-
ville high school had some mothers fuming.
                                                                        [courtesy WKLY]

A drug-impaired driver left the road  and hit a utility pole host-
ing a nest of yellow jackets in Laurel County, sending him and
his female companion  running  down  the  road,  waving their
arms  and  screaming  until  they found a garden hose to spray
the critters off their bodies. . . .

           

Brandi Harmon, 25, and her 44-year-old boy friend were arrested for child abuse in Boyle County for living in a shed with three children under 12 years old and no electricity or plumbing

A man pulled a gun in an altercation at a showing of Star Trek
Beyond at a Paducah movie theater  that began with a boy be-
hind him kicking his seat.
                                          [courtesy Lexington Herald-Leader]

Lexington's most wanted: Datiera Walker, BF, 22, 5'5", 130 lbs, deteriorate; Jerkiller Young, BM, 31, 6'0", 170 lbs, killer, jerk; Neshawne Smith, BF, 27, 5'7", 120 lbs, another illegal first name (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

New Liberty,  in Owen County,  is older than Liberty,
in Casey County;  and both are west of West Liberty,
in Morgan County.

"We need to get cops out of cars and on foot.  We actually got a good start on this,
 when Ford quit making Crown Victorias.   Police went to Chevrolets and couldn't
 catch anybody."
                                – Larry Webster

"Whether you love him or hate him, he says what he thinks; and he has proven that
  you don't always have to be so afraid. . . .  I probably wish that there was another
  option, but there's not. . . .  Hey, before this gets going like it always does, I have-
  n't endorsed anyone for President."
                                                                – Blake Shelton

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says): "If money can fix it, it's not a problem." – Leonard Simon

Congresswoman Joyce Beatty (D-Ohio, right), who addressed the Democratic National Convention Thursday night, July 28, was accused of plagiarizing the dress of Melania Trump, wife of the Donald (left), who addressed the Republican National Conventon Monday night, July 18 (Mrs. Beatty said her husband bought her the dress and told her to wear it). (Huffington Post, JAELKY)

Home Depot: More saving. More doing.

Congresswoman Joyce Beatty (D-Ohio, right), who addressed the Democratic National Convention Thursday night, July 28, was accused of plagiarizing the dress of Melania Trump, wife of the Donald (left), who addressed the Republican National Conventon Monday night, July 18 (Mrs. Beatty said her husband bought her the dress and told her to wear it). (Huffington Post, JAELKY)

Two mayors were assassinated in Mexico. . . . The po-
licemen's  union  in Somerville,  Massachusetts,  asked
the  mayor  to take down a "Black Lives Matter" banner
from City Hall. . . . A Transportation Security Adminis-
tration agent was arrested for taking upskirt photos at the
Seattle, Washington, airport. . . . A St. George's County,
Maryland,  policeman was arrested  for  taking  upskirt
photos  in traffic stops  and stores,  including one of an
off-duty  policewoman  from another jurisdiction.  .  .  .
"Upskirting" was found to be legal in Georgia. . . . The
Secret Service was investigating a New Hampshire leg-
islator  who told a radio show Hillary Clinton  "should
be put in a firing line and shot for treason."  . . .  Police
in Seattle opened a sex spa to catch pervs. . . . A depu-
ty sheriff  in Arapahoe County,  Colorado,  fired a shot
that entered the barrel of a suspect's gun  (this  reminds
us  of a comic book cover in the 1940's  on  which  the
bad  guy,  in a face-to-face duel with Hopalong Cassi-
dy, shouts, "Gulp! He shot muh bullet in mid-air!). . . .
A 30-year-old man in Largo, Florida,  head-butted his
55-year-old mother for bringing Chick-fil-A home for
dinner. .  .  .  An 83-year-old woman broke a cast iron
skillet over her 83-year-old husband's head in Belling-
ham, Washington. . . . Residents of St. Petersburg, Rus-
sia, will vote on whether to clothe the city's replica of
Michelangelo's David. . . .  A man with Krispy Kreme
doughnut flakes on the floor of his car was arrested for
possession of crystal meth in Orlando, Florida.

                                                [courtesy Harper's, AP]

   

Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Rebecca Morrison, WF, 44, 5'5", 195 lbs, ID fraud; Ella Lopez, HF, 45, 5'1", 140 lbs, meth; Wanted in Wichita (Kansas): Tanner D. Slusser, WM, 24, 6'0", 145 lbs, escape from work release (Abilene Crime Stoppers, City of Wichita)

The death notices in yesterday's Louisville Courier-Journal
included the wife of a client of about a dozen years ago; he
was in the leadership of a corporation with a resort develop-
ment on our Lake Nolin.  I knew his wife, too.

They live  (she did)  near  Louisville,  which is too far away
from  me  for  a  casual  drop-in  at  the wake at the funeral
home; and our acquaintance was tenuous enough not to ab-
solutely require of me a gesture of condolence.  So, to send
a sympathy card or not?

But, aha!  The death notice on line included, as they do these
days, a Condolences link you can click on to "e-sympathize"!
Nah! was my first thought – that's too easy!

And my second thought, perhaps even more pertinent in terms
of etiquette, is, that's too public.

What saith the millennial Emily Post?
                                                                    Natty Bumppo

I think it would be a really nice gesture to send a sympathy card.
Most  people  appreciate  an acknowledgment of their loss.  The
fact that you take the time to choose a card,  sign  it,  address  it,
put a stamp on it  and mail it  is much more personal than some-
thing on line.  I definitely don't like the "e-sympathy"  idea;  I a-
gree it's too public and, quite frankly, I think, somewhat tacky!

                                                                      Margaret DeFerrari

I'm old school on this:  Handwritten trumps. The family can touch
it, keep it, and even bequeath it to their progeny.  Those e-sympa-
thies often go away (into the "cloud").

Besides,  your mysterious calligraphy can wow the children who
can neither read nor write it. 

But I fear I'm not wise or  wise  ass  enough  to pose as Dear  El-
eanor. 
                                                                          Connie Harbeson

Too public for you or the recipient?  I don't think it matters how
the package is wrapped so long as the sentiments are sincere.

                                                                                  Cathie Scott

Too public for either,  or both:  Either the recipient or the sender
might feel it reveals a relationship or details of a relationship  he
or she would have preferred to remain private.   And for the sen-
der additionally because, like Clutterbook, the e-condolence just
gives him another opportunity to blow his horn.
                                                                                Natty Bumppo

Send an actual card, or flowers  (unless they requested no flow-
ers, in which case a donation to sympathetic charity would be a
nice but not necessary gesture).   My  opinion,  but,  then,  I am
not a millennial.

                                                                                Kirsten Dean

You may not be a "millennial," and neither am I; but e-condolen-
ces are,  and we must deal with millennial issues,  whatever our
ages.
                                                                                        Eleanor

Click the condolence link and send a card.
                                                                          Nolan Porterfield

Bruce Mitchell wrote Sun 7/17/16 @11:21 PDT:

I was very disappointed  to find that last week's  Dear
Eleanor letter had been lifted from the Dear Prudence
advice column at Slate.com  and provided a less witty
answer. Here I'd always thought the letters to Dear El-
eanor were real, of your own invention.

Sorry to disappoint you.  Almost all letters I answer are "lifted"
from letters to other advice columnists. That's why I put "links"
on the signatures: (1) to show you where the letters came from,
and (2) to show you that this stuff is not made up.

I did not find Prudence' response witty; I find it polemic.  Any-
way, wit is not our goal;  our mission is to wake up the hoi pol-
loi.    – Eleanor

A June 17 Associated Press article reported on a NASA spacecraft
bound for Jupiter to  "study how the largest planet in the solar sys-
tem was formed and evolved."    My King James Bible  (John 1:3)
tells me, "All things were made by Him; and without Him was not
anything made that was made." What a waste of taxpayers' money.

                                                 – Marvin McFaddin, Paintsville, Ky.

Gomer Pyle; policementality cap

   Shootings of innocent and unarmed black men by cops,  as in the recent incidents in Ba-
   ton Rouge,  St. Paul  and North Miami,  will not end until police departments quit hiring
   applicants with police mentality.

The state Court of Appeals overturned  the feticide convic-
tion of a woman who induced her own miscarriage  but up-
held her conviction of child neglect (it was alleged that her
1½-lb. boy  took  one  breath  before  she dumped him in a
trash bin). . . .
                           

South Bend's most wanted: Marshaum Givens, BM, 5'8", 155 lbs, attempted murder; Berrien County, Michigan's: Larry Maurice Coleman III, BM, assault on police officer (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

An advertiser posted a digital billboard in Muncie reading
"HATE  COPS?  THE  NEXT  TIME  YOU NEED HELP
CALL A CRACKHEAD."
                                              [courtesy Columbus Republic]

       

Trigg County Judge Hollis Alexander refused to marry a nonreligious couple
without a religious ceremony.
                                                                                                [courtesy WKMS]

Lexington's most wanted: Shandrick White, 39, 5'10", 145 lbs; Mandy Endicott, WF, 40, 5'3", 190 lbs; Stephan Fisher, BM, 19, 6'0", 150 lbs (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

        It's a new Tabloid Headlines poll this week!  You, the readers, please
        tell us what you think these perps are wanted for. . . .

The dismembered body of a murdered woman was found in two
dumpsters behind an apartment building in Lexington. , , ,

Marlana VanHoose of Johnson County, Kentucky, butchered the
National  Anthem  at  the Republican National Convention  (did
her blindness give her a pass on intonation  and going to falsetto
for "Free"?).
                                                               [courtesy Herald-Leader]

Kentucky Governor Selfie, speaking at a forum at the Republi-
can National Convention in Cleveland,  Ohio,  blamed the me-
dia for tension between blacks and police.

                                        [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

"From a young age,  my parents impressed on me the values that you work hard  for what you want
 in life, that your word is your bond and you do what you say and keep your promise,  that you treat
 people with respect.  They taught and showed me values and morals in their daily lives.  That  is  a
 lesson  that  I continue to pass along to our son.  And we need to pass those lessons on to the many
 generations  to follow,  because we want our children in this nation to know that the  only  limit  to
 your achievements is the strength of your dreams and your willingness to work for them."

                                                                                                            – Melania Trump, July 18, 2016

"And Barack and I were raised with so many of the same values:  That  you  work  hard  for what
 you want in life,  that your word is your bond  and you do what you say you're going to do,  that
 you treat people with dignity and respect, even if you don't know them,  and even if you don't a-
 gree with them.  And Barack and I set out to build lives guided by these values, and to pass them
 on to the next generation, because we want our children, and all children in this nation, to know
 that the only limit to the height of your achievements is the reach of your dreams and your will-
 ingness to work for them."
                                                       – Michelle Obama, August 25, 2008

"I still have a lot of speaking left in me."
                                                                    – Tim Tebow
"Vote your conscience."
                                          – Tez Crud
"He's the guy."
                           – Melania Trump

Quotations of the Wheat: "I'd rather be picking my ass than watching the Republican   convention." – Leonard Simon

                                     

Turkey fired 2,757 judges  in the wake of an attempted
coup. . . . A retired U.S. intelligence officer wrote that
80 per cent of the material found  on  jihadists'  seized
laptops was pornography. .  .  . French President Fran-
cois Hollande's hairdresser was reported to be getting
paid $10,000 a month. .  .  .  A 3-year-old boy was at-
tacked and left bloody by squirrels he was feeding  in
a park in Cornwall,  England. . . .  A 91-year-old wo-
man filled in a crossword puzzle,  in  ink,  on  a work
of art at a museum in Nuremberg, Germany. . . . Ko-
rea was cracking down  on  English  translations  on
restaurant menus including "roast grandmother," "life
style meat" and "chicken asshole house." . . .  A man
and a woman rode a lawn mower naked down Pleas-
ant View Lane in Joplin,  Missouri. . . . Megyn  Kelly
became  the  latest Fox News hottie  to  complain  of
sexual harassment by CEO Roger Ailes. . . . Ann Lan-
ders'  successors  writing  "Annie's  Mailbox"  retired,
giving way to a third generation of the column, "Dear
Annie." . . . Here's a koala pole dancing.

                                              [courtesy Harper's, AP]

Arrested in Abilene (Texas not Kansas): Jessica Hutta, BF,32, 5'4", 150 lbs, forgery; Jimmy Oliver, WM, 28, 5'10", 200 lbs, DWI with previous intoxication manslaughter conviction; Daphne a/k/a McNeal (sic), BF, 54, 5'5", 300 lbs, exploitation of disabled individual (Abilene Crime Stoppers)

My boy friend and I recently moved in together. We were spen-
ding so many nights at each other's place that we decided it just
made sense.  We both gave up studio apartments for a cute little
house.  It even has a tiny yard, which is great for my golden re-
triever.

But my boy friend seems to be allergic to the dog.  I've had her
for years;  and in all the time my boy friend spent at  my  apart-
ment,  this was never a problem.   I used to take her over to his
place, too.  We've lived in the house for three months now, and
he's had a stuffy nose the entire time; and his eyes get itchy and
watery. His symptoms seem to disappear when he goes out.  He
takes antihistamines only right before bed  because  they  knock
him out.

I love my man;  but I love my dog, too, and I don't want to give
her up.  What should I do?
                                                                                    Dog Lover

Stephen Yates wrote Sun 7/10/16 @10:13 CDT:

I've met Claire Donahue.  She's actually not as
ugly as she looks.

Bruce Mitchell wrote Sun 7/10/16 @10:38 PDT:
 
"Quim" must be really old time usage.  I've never
heard anyone say that, ever, not in the UK or here,
or read it anywhere but in Henry Miller's novels.

I have heard Brits use "cunt" freely, describing men
more than women,  and not in a gay way.  "Cunt" is
said  often  in  a great many British films,  in  every-
thing from gangster films such as Sexy Beast to road
trip docs like The Trip to Italy.

Governor Mikey was picked to be Donald Strump's running mate
(he would be the latest in a long line of Vice Presidents  from In-
diana:  Schuyler Colfax,  Thomas Hendricks,  Charles Fairbanks,
Thomas Marshall, Dan Quayle – and, since he is from Columbus,
the latest from Indiana 9, the Highway of Vice Presidents).

                                                              [courtesy Popular Science]

A power outage caused by an automobile crash prevented motor-
ists from using their credit cards to pay their way on  the  Indiana
Toll  Road.
                                                          [courtesy Columbus Republic]

South Bend's most wanted: Angela Linback, WF, 5'8", 140 lbs, Tommy Pope, WM, 6'0", 165 lbs, possession of methamphetamine (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

A Louisville jail officer was suspended for posting a picture
of a white policeman next to a cruiser  on Clutterbook Face-
book that said, "If we really wanted you dead, all we’d have
to do is stop patrolling your neighborhoods."

                                    [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

A Kentuckian and two of his nephews ran after a police car in
Bryson City, North Carolina, shouting, "Let's go kill us a cop!" . . .

Governor Selfie denied  having the name of the previous gov-
ernor's wife, Jane Beshear, removed from a new building, the
Jane Beshear Capitol Education Center,  suggesting  that that
must have been done by landscapers. . . .

Governor Selfie was growing a beard. . . .

The Freedom From Religion Foundation warned more than a
thousand public schools in Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio, WestVir-
ginia and Tennessee  that taking field trips to the Ark Encoun-
ter Park, featuring a 500-foot replica of Noah’s Ark, could ex-
pose children to religious proselytizing  violating  the  constitu-
tional separation of church and state  –  and the park respond-
ed by offering a  $1  admission  charge  to children on school
field trips (the regular admission price for children is $28).

                                         [courtesy Lexington Herald-Leader]

Dumb geographical trivia in Kentucky:

       
Snaking through the southern half of Edmonson County, less than a mile from each other,
are both the Beaver Dam Church Road and the Beaver Dam Chapel Road – and the tem-
ples they are named for are both of the United Baptist denomination.  The  Beaver  Dam
Chapel is midway on the Beaver Dam Chapel Road,  which  curls  1.6 miles in a semicir-
cle,  from an intersection with the north-south Kentucky Highway No. 101,  east,  south
and west back to another junction with Ky. 101.

                                 

The Beaver Dam Church is near the northwest extremity of the Beaver Dam Church Road.
Near the southeast extremity,  not quite 3 miles distant,  is the New Grove Missionary Bap-
tist Church.

Beaver Dam United Baptist Church; Beaver Dam Chapel United Baptist Church, Organized 1949

                                    

New Grove Missionary Baptist Church, ESTD 1933

There's yet another church just 0.2 of a mile north of the Beaver Dam Church, 0.1 past the north
end of Beaver Dam Church Road:  The Belle Key Methodist Church and Cemetery.  The church
has largely ceased to function,  except  for an occasional reunion,  but the cemetery is still main-
tained.            

* The sign is a little hard to read,          even in person  and  up  close.          What it says is,  "Due to the in-          creasing  cost  of cemetery up-

                                                                                               keep,  WE NEED YOUR HELP,  This cemetery only relies on donations,  Please support Belle
                                                                                               Key Methodist Church and Cemetery,  Mail your contribution to Brandon A. Cowles,  Treasur-
                                                                                               er,  5125 Brownsville Rd., Brownsville KY 42210,  270-597-2252,  e-mail  [illegible],  YOUR
                                                                                               DONATION IS VERY MUCH APPRECIATED,  Belle Key's  Clutterbook  Facebook  page  is
                                                                                               [illegble].

All of which brings us to our reader Barry Wood, who lives on the Silent Grove Church Road
in the community of Pig in Edmonson County,  and  with  whom  your Editor was traveling in
Allen County one evening  when we came upon a country thoroughfare labeled "Hog Hollow
Road."   "B!"  your Editor exclaimed to his companion,  "That  road  should be in  Edmonson
County!"
                           

Beaver Dam Chapel neighbor

"Nope,"  B  replied,  without  emotion.  "If it were in Edmonson County,  it would be Hog Hol-
low Church Road."
                                     

Another neighbor of Beaver Dam Chapel

By the way, there are at least three streams in Edmonson County known as Beaver Dam Creek,
two of them on the same side of the Green River as these churches,  but only one of those  near
any of these churches – the Beaver Dam Church and the Belle Key Methodist Church, which is
yet closer to the creek than the Beaver Dam Church.  The Beaver Dam Chapel is an offshoot of
a schism in the Beaver Dam Church. The third Beaver Dam Creek is on the other side of the riv-
er.

There are eight churches in and around Brownsville, the County seat, population 836  –  all of
them Baptist.   Five are United Baptist  (known also as Foot Washing Baptist);  two,  Mission-
ary Baptist (one of which, the Brownsville Missionary Baptist Church,  in the middle of town,
is also a Southern Baptist Church, and the other of which, the Cedar Grove Missionary Baptist
Church, is attended only by Negroes, usually),  and one, General Baptist.   There are two other
churches in the County said to be Southern Baptist but no Sinking or Stinking Baptist churches
that we know of.
                                                                                                       [courtesy Nathaniel Enquirer]

Lexington's most wanted: Joseph Gardner Jr., BM, 29, 6'0", 150 lbs, ogling Joyce Hensley; Joyce Hensley, WF, 36, 5'1", 150 lbs, "featured fugitive of the week," receiving stolen firearm, too heavy for Joe; Deshawn Murray, BM, 27, 5'9", 350 lbs, too heavy for Joyce (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

"I might as well just run [for President] myself, 'cause I've got the hair for it; it’s hyuuuge!"

                                                                                                                                             – Dolly Parton

Quotations of the Wheat: "Liberals are like Christmas tree lights:  A lot of them don't   work, and the rest aren't very bright." – Leonard Simon

Black  judges  in the United States are reversed on appeal
at a higher rate than are white judges, according to a study
reported by our frequent guest in "Quotations repeated ev-
ery week," Shankar Vedantam. . . .The  Bahamas, Bahrain,
United Arab Emirates, Canada and Australia advised trav-
elers to the United States to avoid crowds.  . . .  A  Cyprus
hotel that promises visitors a "diverse range of shows, fun
and activities" apologized to guests after employees dress-
ed in dark clothing burst into a dining room shooting fake
guns. . . .Tatyana Allen,  an 18-year-old woman in Dayto-
na Beach, Florida, was arrested for swinging her 6-month-
old baby at her boy friend like a baseball bat. . . . Gambia,
Tanzania and Virginia outlawed child marriage. . . . Hoot-
ers sponsored a  Cub  Scout  camp  in Colorado. . . . Tim-
monsville, South Carolina, outlawed saggy pants. . . . Sev-
en persons were gored in the Running of the Bulls in Pam-
plona,  Spain. . . . Twelve persons died in a three-day traf-
fic jam in Indonesia.  . . . Buddhist monks set 600 pounds
of lobsters free in the ocean on Prince Edward Island. . . .
A homeless man in Boston, Massachusetts, inherited $187,-
000 from his parents and left it in cash in a bag in a taxi. ...
Georgia state police raided a garden in Atlanta and seized
a  large  quantity  of  okra. . . . A drug-sniffing dog died in
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, after being locked up in a hot
squad car for 2½ hours. . . . Prince  Harry tested  negative
for HIV.
                                       [courtesy Harper's, JAELKY, AP]

Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Lindsey E. Slothowere, WF, 31, 5'2", 105 lbs, a/k/a Lindsey Schluttenheimer, poss. drug paraphernalia, pedestrians use sidewalk; Brittany N. Trussell, BF, 23, 5'5", 230 lbs, petty theft, miscellaneous housing violations; Kyesha M. Rogers, BF, 28, 6'0", 200 lbs, a/k/a Kyesha M. Roach, DUI, domestic battery; Amie L. Swank, WF, 41, 5'5", 140 lbs, a/k/a Amie L. Mackley, DUI, petty theft (City of Wichita)

A Canadian singer raised eyebrows and hackles with  his
own lyrics to Canada's National Anthem at baseball's All
Star Game in San Diego (U.S.). . . .

The new IOS-Android game Pokémon GO was giving po-
lice and players alike headaches.

My husband and I are looking into adopting a child.  We've
been discussing gender, age, foster care and race.  The two
of us,  his family and my parents would welcome any child
with  open  arms;  but over the years  I've had to correct my
grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins  for  making  racist
statements and using racist terms. They live close to us and
we see them frequently;  so they would be involved  in  our
child’s life to some extent.  I  can  see  how growing to love
a  nonwhite  child  could act as an agent of change for them,
but I don't think that's a fair situation to put a child into. My
husband thinks we  shouldn't  worry  about  it  and assumes
they'll stop the comments if we bring the child over.   What
do you think?

                                                               Expectant Adoptress

An error occurred while sending mail: The mail server sent an incorrect greeting:  pacmmta54.windstream.net pacmmta54 Too many spammy recipients -- try again later.

Jay Cory wrote Tues 7/5/16 @08:15 EDT re the "Stairway
to Heaven" plagiarism case:

After thinking about it a lot and playing the songs on
guitar, I've got to agree with the jury on this one.  U-
sing  a  given  chord  with a descending bass line is
public  domain.  It's not the same as a  given  chord
progression.  If it was,  there'd be a lot of cases out
there,  like the Beatles suing  Neil  Young  for "The
Needle and the Damage Done"  for  the descending
bass on its D chord because  it  sounds  like  "Dear
Prudence."   Actually it is exactly the same.   Much
more so than the Stairway case.  I'd be interested in
hearing what other musicians think, and hearing oth-
er examples.

It's not exactly the same.  It's different.  If using the same
chord  progression  were   plagiarism,  there would be no
country music.    – Editor


FGDean@aol.com wrote Weds 7/6/16 @88:34 PDT:

In a Sunday morning IM chat among the family of
a friend of mine, participants often say "brb";  but
they  always  provide  an  explanation,  like "need
coffee,"  or "laundry."  However,  they sometimes
imply defecation or urination – e.g., "Nature calls."

Now, that's TMI.    – Ed.

Publius Leget wrote Sun 7/3/16 @11:37 CDT:

OK, I give up; what's the "quim" for which KWIM
may be a euphemistic misspelling?

It's British slang for "cunt."  It's all over Henry Miller's
novels.    – Ed.

A July 4 parade in the town of Sheridan  included a golf cart
with an effigy of President Obama being flushed down a toi-
let over the headline "LYING-AFRICAN."

                                                   [courtesy Indianapolis Star]

A new law allowed the burial of the ashes  of  Henry,  13,  a
police dog,  with his policeman,  in Michigan City. . . .

A man crashed a car on a bridge on I-65 near Gary and jum-
ped 40 feet off the bridge (he lived). . . .

The  director  of  the Survivors Network of those Abused by
Priests  called  a Jeffersonville church's prayers  for  its  late
pastor, charged with child molesting, "stunningly callous." . . .

Planned Parenthood and the American Civil Liberties Union
sued to overturn a new law requiring women  seeking  abor-
tions to get an ultrasound examination at least 18  hours  be-
fore the operation. . . .

The ACLU sued Beech Grove for two women  whose  critical
remarks were removed from the city police' Clutterbook Face-
book page, and the city took the page down.

                                                   [courtesy Columbus Republic]

South Bend's most wanted: Victoria Hirsch, WF, 5'2", 200 lbs, cocaine; Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Derrick Lamont Brown Jr., BM, assault with intent to do great bodily harm less than murder; Chey Lynn Cummins, WF, harboring felons, ("And, oh can she harbor!" – Derrick Lamont Brown Jr.) (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

The state's Attorney General ruled that Rowan County Clerk
Kim Davis violated the Kentucky Open Records Act. . . .

Governor Selfie removed the name Jane Beshear from the Jane
Beshear  Capitol  Education  Center,  which  Governor  Stevie
named for his wife last November shortly before he left office. . . .

A Clark County internet activist posting  as  "KYAnonymous"
was  indicted  for  four  felonies  under  the federal Computer
Fraud and Abuse Act. . . .

"Domestic partners" were proposed to be added to Lexington's
nepotism prohibitions. . . .

State Representative Kevin Bratcher (R-Louisville) introduced
a bill to make targeting police  and firefighters  a  "hate  crime"
("Blue lives matter").
                                            [courtesy Lexington Herald-Leader]

A  seventh  major  thunderstorm  since July 1  roared through
Edmonson County on July 6,  cutting off power for 3½ hours,
closing not only the Courthouse  and the banks,  but  also  the
Minit-Mart,  and  inducing  the  elders of the Oak Grove Uni-
ted Baptist Church to cancel the night's revival meeting.  In a
surprise appearance Donald Trump took the Courthouse steps
shaking his fist at the sky,  screaming  not only that he would
make  America  and  the  Warren Rural Electric Cooperative
Corporation great again,  but that he would also make  God
great again.  He was joined by seven local Baptist preachers
and one from the Church of Christ, and Hillary Clinton con-
ceded the Presidential vote in the County.

                                                  [courtesy Nathaniel Enquirer]

     

Lexington's most wanted: Julia Burford, BF, 33, 5'7", 185 lbs, featured fugitive of the week, shoplifting; Efrain Rojas, W(?!) M, 23, 5'7", 180 lbs, unlawful piercing (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

"Thank God, I managed to hit [Iraqi Prime Minister Haider al-]Abadi with stones."

                                                                                                          – Baghdad shopkeeper Ali Ahmed

Quotations of the Wheat: "Just as important as having friends in high places is   having high friends in places." – Leonard Simon

Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Becky E. Gilkey, BF, 51, 5'6", 120 lbs, a/k/a Becky E. Walker, failure to report to jail; Scott M. Blakney, WM, 5'10", 165 lbs, possession of drug paraphernalia, stolen property; Angela R. Kidd, WF, 61, 5'8", 190 lbs, incapable of safely operating; Brian J. Wilkinson, WM, 47, 6'0", 185 lbs, obstructing law enforcement (City of Wichita)

Lilia E. Hernandez, a/k/a Hernandez-Morales, WF, 49, 5'2", 140 lbs, DUI, defective tail light; Devonte C. Reed, BM, 23, 5'11", 160 lbs, willful criminal damage to property

In the slammer in Seattle: Johanna Adrianna Wolf, WF, 33, 5'7", 160 lbs, a/k/a Jonathan Adrian Wolf, sexual assault without consent (sic); Emmanuel Johannes Vankempen, AM, 31, 5'8", 140 lbs, child molesting; Susan Rodriguez, WF, 45, 5'6", 170 lbs, a/k/a Susan Brackett, a/k/a Susan Russell, lewd and lascivious acts with child under 14; Trent Alfred Jensen, WM, 49, 6'2", 170 lbs, communication with minor for immoral purposes; Amanda Marie Dixon, WF, 27, 5'0", 150 lbs, pierced navel, flower tattoo on thigh, tattoo on back ("Live, Love, Burn, Die"), dragon tattoo on neck, scars on both calves and feet, birthmark on back, a/k/a Amanda Marie Colton, a/k/a Amanda Marie Miller, communication with minor for immoral purposes (Mugshots.com)

Seven persons were arrested and 37  were  hospitalized
at a July 4 Kenny Chesney concert in Pittsburgh, Penn-
sylvania. . . . Flooding of the Yangtze River  killed  130
people and 7,100 hogs in China. . . . An elephant got an
artificial leg in Thailand. .  .  . The Second Amendment
Sports gun shop in McHenry,  Illinois,  was  auctioning
off an AR-15 to donate proceeds to families of the vic-
tims of the Orlando, Florida, massacre. . . .  A 60-year-
old Englishwoman won the rights to her late daughter's
eggs in order to give birth to her own grandchild.  .  .  .
Twin sisters,  35,  delivered their first childs (children?)
at  1:18 a.m.  the same day,  in Colorado and California
(but it's no big deal,  folks:  One of the babies was born
on Mountain time,  one on Pacific time). . . . Uber Chi-
na announced hot-air balloon rides.  . . . Twenty  thous-
and pounds of cheese was stolen in Wisconsin.

                                                [courtesy Harper's, AP]

Western Kentucky University graduate Claire Donahue, who earned a gold medal at the 2012 Olympics, failed to qualify for the United States swimming team this year (Park City [Bowling Green] Daily News)

I'm happily married to the man of my dreams. We both have
professional careers,  but I also write romance novels.  With
each book an author writes, a part of his or her life sneaks in.
When my husband reads my novels he becomes sullen, with-
drawn and angry.  He can’t seem to understand  that  99  per
cent of what I've written is  fiction.  He is convinced that ev-
erything I write  is  somehow  linked to an old boy friend or
actual events.

This is hurting my feelings, and raising resentment in both of
us.  Should I give up writing,  or should he learn to deal with
it?
                                                                  Happily Ever After

The Vibe: 50 Cent arrested for using fowl [sic] language during St. Kitts performance

Len wrote Tues 6/29/16 @05:45 EDT re the Led Zep-
pelin plagiarism trial:

The opening guitar riff in Spirit's  "Taurus"  and
Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" is actually
in the public domain.   It  can  be  found  in  this
17th century baroque piece.

Not quite the same,  IOHO.  Besides, as our correspon-
dent Dave Surtees has asked, it's in a different key; so,
can it be the same?   The Spirit and Led Zeppelin riffs
are exactly  the  same,  except for some improvisation
by Jimmy Page, and in the same key.   And it's not just
an opening riff, in either case.  It's the whole of  "Taur-
us,"  and it's a continuing background in  "Stairway to
Heaven."

Here's  a  friendlier YouTube link  to  Granata's  Sonata
(but Len's link is necessary for the presentation).  – Ed. 

Have you every noticed that  "lol"  does not really mean  "laughing out loud,"
the words represented by its initials? Usually it means "Know what I mean?"
(not KWIM – we've never seen that,  and it looks like a euphemistic spelling
of the dirty word "quim").

Or that "imho" does not really mean "in my humble opinion," but "I'm getting
my 2 cents' worth in now"?

That people playing games on line wish all others "gla" or "gle1" ("good luck
all", "good luck everyone")  not only when they don't mean it,  but  also when
such is not even possible?

That "brb" means not "be right back,"  but "I have to take a shit; so deal with it
until I return"?

Reader contributions welcome and encouraged.

A Ford Ranger pickup truck crashed through a fence at Jeffer-
son High School in Lafayette and onto a tennis court where a
gym class was in session,  going through the net and crashing
into another fence on the other side (no serious injuries were
reported; the driver was arrested for DUMJ). . . .

The Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra will devote a program
in October to the works of Prince. . . .

A man held without bond for three years on child molesting
charges in Porter County was released on his own recogni-
zance upon discovery that one of the purported victims had
made up the accusations. . . .

 
The Dalai Lama met with Lady Gag-a in Indianapolis. . . .

A former student charged with two counts of rape at Indiana
University was allowed to plead guilty to one count of  "bat-
tery with moderate bodily injury" for a day in jail (time serv-
ved).
                                                [courtesy Columbus Republic]

A federal judge ruled that both women in a lesbian marriage
must be listed  as  parents  on  the birth certificate of a child
born to one of them,   bringing Indiana into line with several
other states.    But it was not reported whether the non-birth
spouse was to be listed as mother or father  (readers,  help!).
The suit was brought by eight couples,  of  whom  one dona-
ted the egg to the other.
                                                  [courtesy Indianapolis Star]
     

Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Wonanita Gordon, BF, 35, 5'2", 150 lbs, injury to a child (Abilene Crime Stoppers); Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Evelyn Anthony, BF, child abuse; Deanna Louise Chernetsky, larceny in a building (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

In the wake of "Brexit," Congressman Thomas Massie (R-
Eastern Ky.)  renewed his bill to withdraw  the  U.S.  from
the U.N. ("Amexit").
                                                                  [courtesy WFPL]

A volunteer guest singer's gay-bashing song at a festival in
Midway prompted the scheduled band, Shades of Grass, to
return its $500 performance fee for donation to  an  LGBT
cause.  The song, "Come on Down to the Farm," went:

Come on down to the farm,
Come on out to the barn;
You won’t see two roosters
Walkin’ arm in arm;

They couldn’t make a chicken;
They don’t have an egg to hatch;
When God said, "Love your brother,"
I don't think he meant like that. . . .

Read more here: http://www.kentucky.com/news/local/counties/woodford-county/article86717747.html#storylink=cpy

The Lexington Herald-Leader announced that it will now be
printed  in  Louisville  (at the Courier-Journal,  which prints
the Frankfort State Journal also).
                                                        [courtesy Herald-Leader]

Seen at the Fairview Plaza shopping center in Bowling Green:
A young woman  working the "drive-thru" window  at  Rally's
Hamburgers  (which  is  take-out  only)  walked four buildings
down the mall on her lunch break to get take-out from  Domi-
no's.
                                                   [courtesy our roving reporter]

Lexington's most wanted: David Rhoades, WM, 31, 6'1", 260 lbs, big sissy; Brandy Tremba, WF, 35, 5'7", 170 lbs, featured fugitive of the week, receiving stolen property; Joseph Clark, WM, 48, 6'3", 300 lbs, assault by sitting on people (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

Quotations of the Wheat: "You seem like the kind of guy who would fuck me in the ass and not   even give me the common courtesy of a reacharound." – Leonard Simon

This is Michael Gove, British Justice secretary who championed Brexit and pushed Boris Johnsonout of the race for prime miniser; and this is his high school graduation photo (courtesy Google Images)

American Amish emigrated to Bolivia, Argentina and Can-
ada.  . . . The Mississippi House of Representatives was in
constitutional crisis over a rapid-reading  chipmunk  voice.
 .  .  . Kanye West gets naked with the likenesses of Taylor
Swift,  Bill  Cosby,  Caitlyn  Jenner  and Donald Trump  in
his video "Famous." . . . The rapper  50 Cent  was arrested
for  saying  "mother-fucker"  in a performance at  a  music
festival on St. Kitts  (the "Vibe" said in its headline that he
was arrested for using "fowl" language  – same link if they
have not corrected it, "cluck,  cluck" – see first headline a-
bove). . . . In  the  worst  travesty  of  justice  since the O. J.
Simpson murder trial,  a Los Angeles, California, jury one-
upped a previous L.A. jury in finding that Led Zeppelin did
not plagiarize Spirit's "Taurus" in "Stairway to Heaven." . . .
The most popular question  on  Google  in Great Britain the
day after the people voted to leave the European Union was
"What is the EU?"  . . .  A Kenyan court upheld the practice
of rectal examinations  of men suspected of homosexual ac-
tivity. . . .After being cussed out in court by a defendant and
told "I'll cut your children up into pieces," a judge in Rome,
Georgia, told the defendant, "You look like a queer" and in-
vited him to masturbate in open court. . . . Chicago, Illinois,
was reported to have spent $210 million on 600 police mis-
conduct lawsuits since 2012.  .  .  .  A man scanned his geni-
tals at the "help yourself" checkout line at a grocery in Seat-
tle, Washington. . . . A man in Lincoln, Nebraska,  hid under
parked cars and grabbed women's feet. .  .  . Larry Gambles,
of  Matteson,  Illinois,  won the lottery a second time, using
the same numbers. .  .  . More than 30 persons were treated
for burns on their feet in Dallas, Texas, after walking on hot
coals  at the suggestion of motivational speaker  Tony  Rob-
bins. . . . Miss Universe' Miss Teen USA substituted athlet-
ic wear for swimsuits.  . . . Ninety per cent of the people of
the Netherlands speak English, according to this map  (only
95 per cent of the English do,  and  0.8 of a per cent lower
in the United States).

                     [courtesy Harper's, the Frisky, HuffPost, AP]

Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas): Michael John Cyphers, BM, 35, 5'7", 175 lbs, child abandonment; Shaundrea Dyon Williams, H[?!] M[?!], 35, 5'4", 150 lbs, aggravated assault; Austin Reece, WM, 21 [?!], 6'0", 155 lbs, carnal knowledge w/o consent; Joyce Gaul Wilson, WF, 62, 5'4", 138 lbs, theft (x3); Samuel D. Arredondo, HM, 45, 5'11", 165 lbs, credit card abuse (Wichita Falls Crime Stoppers)

I live with my parents, and I am not fond of children.  My fa-
ther volunteers me to baby-sit my nieces while they are right
in  front  of  us,  and  before I have a chance to say anything.
And my father manages to leave  the  house  once he has en-
gaged me.

I'm grateful my parents took me in after I graduated from col-
lege. It has allowed me to work on a second degree.  Am I be-
ing ungrateful?
                                                                            Young Auntie