Starrcade: Deadly Unions - Day 3 (continued)
Shawn "HeartBreak Kid" Michaels VS. "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan

Luther, meanwhile, is standing there frozen from what he has just seen. A director comes up and taps him on the shoulder.

LUTHER: Uh, yeah!!! Well, um, up next, we have the lovely KIMONA!!!

Kimona comes out with a white blouse and blue jeans. She used to be an exotic dancer so this is right down her alley. She dances to the live version of "Once In A Lifetime" by the Talking Heads. She dances at a fast pace only giving someone about 2-4 seconds to look at her at a time in a pose. She then strips away her jeans as they can be pulled off!!! She is wearing black thong panties. As she continues, she takes off her blouse and shows her breasts to the world. She dances this way until she comes up to the stanza where the lead singer says "My God, What Have I Done!!!" At that point, she strips away her panties (which gets a big ovation) and gyrates her hips much like "Ravishing" Rick Rude used to do for about three to five seconds. She then shows off her "beaver" and the rest of her body to everyone until the end of the song. She leaves to a standing ovation from the St. Louis crowd for her dancing skills as well as her body.

LUTHER: Damn!!! What a show!!! Well, up now is the leader of the WCW Nitro Girls, KIMBERLY PAGE!!!

Kimberly performs to the music of The Isley Bros. song "For The Love Of You". She comes out in a Spainish-like dress (1700's style or what you see in those Zorro movies). It is red with yellow trimmings. She is also carrying a red rose in her hand. As she begins to dance to the song, she throws the rose out to the fans and Mickey Alderson was the lucky fan to catch it (I had to throw that in there Mickey/Private Joke)!!! She dances seductively with a flavor and a sensuality. She reveals little peeks but hasn't stripped anything off yet. One minute into the song, she does a spin in one spot and, with one motion, she strips off the lower part of the dress to reveal silver panties!!! She also seductively removes the top part to reveal a silver bra. As she was doing this, the crew bring out an old time tub from the 1930's. She steps into the tub, removing her bra and panties. She seductively washes herself to the delight of the crowd. There is also a bowl of strawberries sitting beside the tub. She takes one, stands up in the tub (with suds all over her body) and rubs the strawberry on her "beaver". She then takes and licks it. She continues to dance until the end of the song. She takes her leave soaked in suds and smiling. The fans give another standing ovation.

JIM ROSS: Man o man. I don't know if this Oklahoman can take much more of this and we still have seven women to go in this competition as well as five more matches here at Starrcade. What do you think Tony?

Tony Schivone doesn't answer because he is frozen stiff from watching these women.

FLAIR: Tony is lost in his own world Jim Ross. I must say that I never wanted to be anyone but Ric Flair. But if I did have to be someone else, I would want to be DDP, if only to get next to sweet Kimberly!!! WHHOOOOO!!! Dallas, you are one lucky man brother!!!

As the commentators talk (it is actually Flair and Ross talking/Tony is in dream land), it is time to go to the next woman.

LUTHER: Up next, we have LUNA VACHON!!!

Luna comes out with a black one piece bathing suit. She dances to the tune of "Man Down Under" by Men At Work. She squats down with her legs open, goes down and unhooks the part that would be located where her p*ssy would be!!! She shows off her "beaver" and takes her time removing the rest of her clothes. She gets a nice ovation for her efforts.

ROSS: I got a tell ya, it is going to be hard for anyone right now to top Woman, Liz, Kimberly, Jacqueline, and Kimona. Those five women have got to be the odds on favorite to walk away with this thing.

FLAIR: I gotta agree. Those women came loaded for bear. There are going to be hard to top for the remainder of these women.

LUTHER: Coming to the stage now is DARK JOURNEY!!!

DJ comes out with a black police uniform with a nightstick. She is also wearing a police cap. She dances to the remix version of LL Cool J's "Loungin' ". She really knows how to get down as she gets the crowd into it. She then throws away the nightstick and hat and "rips" off her shirt to show her chest to the world (actually, the clothes of all of these women can come off so they are not actually ripping them off). She caresses her breasts seductively as she points down to the floor. Suddenly, some fire comes up from the bottom of the stage. At the same time, she tears away her pants, leaving only her panties. This is what you see when the fire goes back down. She teases the crowd with her panties as she shows herself off but never actually takes her panties off. Still, this is an entertaining show as she leaves to a nice applause.

LUTHER: Up now, we have MS. PRECIOUS!!!

Precious comes out to the tune of ZZ Top's "Sharp Dressed Man" (of course). She is wearing one of her famous white outfits. She dances to the rythm of the song as she slowly takes off the outfit. She then takes out some beads (the kind used for personal pleasure for women) out herself!!! This gets a loud applause from the audience. She then finishes out the song and leaves to applause.

LUTHER: Oh, sh*t!!! Look who we have up now. It is the golden girl, MARLENA!!!

Marlena comes out with gold sparkles all over her. She uses the Michael Jackson tune "Human Nature" as her music of choice. She then calls for a huge fan to come out (she does this by waving her finger seductively). The fan starts to blow gently and it does blow all of the gold sparkles off of her to show her entire body (save her gold colored high heels)!!! She then dances and struts herself for the rest of the time with the fan blowing at her. This gets a nice pop from the crowd.

LUTHER: Up next, we have Funkette TRACY!!!

Tracy uses the music of Kool And The Gang's "Get Down On It" (the song recently redone by Snoop Doggy Dog for the "Men In Black" soundtrack). She comes out with black boots that come up just under the knee. She is wearing only a G-String bottoms and a black t-shirt. She does some good dancing as she removes her clothes and entertains the crowd. She gets a round of applause for her efforts.

LUTHER: Well, we are down to the two last competitors. Next up, we have JENNA JAMESON!!!

Jenna comes out with a hot pink dress that barely covers what she has. She dances to the late-80's rock tune called "Still Of The Night". She does some teasing for about 1 1/2 minutes then she takes off the dress that leaves her with nothing but hot pink panties on. She shows off her body and then, in a bit of a not so surprising move, she takes off her panties, rubs them on her "beaver" and throws them out into the crowd!!! Some lucky fan manages to snag them. She then leaves to a nice round of applause.

LUTHER: Finally, our final contestant, SUNNY!!!

Sunny chooses Mariah Carey's "Fantasy" for her performance. She comes out with a yellow one piece swimsuit with black heels. She dances seductively and, with a signal from Sunny, dances in a continuous waterfall!!! She takes it all off as she teases the crowd with her body. This goes on until the end of the song. Sunny leaves with nothing on but her shoes and a smile as she waves to the crowd while leaving to a nice applause.

LUTHER: Well, that's it for that contest. The winner, for both of our live audience and the viewers at home, will be announced right before the main event tonight so you will find out who wins this first ever wrestling version of "Luke Peep Show".

The crowd gives the show a roaring round of applause as we now return to the wrestling action (the ring was being fixed during the show because of the Giants VS. Steiners bout).


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