(Alexis and Jax have their 1st argument about what to argue about)
Alexis: If we say looks and charm, will people just laugh?
Jax: Looks and charm it is. Nevermind how shallow it makes ME look.
Alexis: And I'll say I married you for your money only to find out you're a scheming, egotistical bore.
Jax: That'll never fly.
Alexis: That you're scheming and egotistical?
Jax: No one's going to believe I'm a bore.
Alexis: Shall I ask for a show of hands?
Chloe: Aunt Gertrude probably still suspects the marriage is a sham.
Alexis: She probably still suspect the Reverend U.I. Love flew in from Roswell.
Jax: Why? You mean he didn't?
(Alexis is instructing Jax on pushing the cart in the penthouse)
Jax: Do you want to drive?
Alexis: No I don't. I want a divorce.
(Ned has told Aunt Gertrude that eloping is Jax' style)
Jax: Wild. That's how we like things. So will be honeymoon be, darling.
(From Jax and Alexis's wedding.)--- (thanx jamielynn!!!)
Rev. U. I. Love: "You may kiss the bride."
Jax kisses Alexis and keeps kissing until Ned leans over...
Ned: "You may stop kissing the bride."
(when Alexis tells Jax, that Ned is going to propose to Chloe)
Jax: I'm shocked. I don't really know waht to say. I'm speechless. I really am.
Alexis: Jax, speechless is when you're no longer speaking.
(Jax is concerned about where Ned and Chloe's wedding would leave Alexis)
Jax: He'll have to stand up in front of a minister and swear to love and honor her.
Alexis: Well, he likes her.
Jax: For the rest of his life!
Alexis: He'll probably always like her.
(after Alexis jumped onto the couch, thinking Ned was there)
Jax: You and Ned must have a pretty athletic relationship!
Jax: Come on Alexis, its not like you and I haven't slept together!
(Ned and Jax are talking & Alexis wants to have lunch with Ned)
Alexis: As entertaining as it would be to watch the two of you bare knuckle each other over a basket of breadsticks, I had something more intimite in mind.
Jax: (to Ned) I believe she is trying to tell you something!
(Alexis is upset that she can't get the radio to work)
Alexis: Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot!
Jax: Well, make up your mind. Do you want to be shot or rescued?
(J&A on the plane)
Alexis: So who's going to fix me my six course meal, bring me hot towels and slippers?
Jax: We've got food. I'll whip it up. But let's get in the air first, okay?
Alexis: No. You can't whip it up. If you make dinner, we'll die.
Alexis:
How do my pupils look?
Jax: Normal
Alexis: How would they look if I had a concussion?
Jax: Not normal.
Jax: Yes. Plus, if alexis and I hurry now, we can get to my lawyer's office and have our marriage annulled.
Alexis: Was it something I said?
Jax: "I do."
Jax: You know, you people never cease to amaze me. You actually assume that that woman knows more about my marriage than I do.
Gertrude: Is there anything I said that isn't true?
Jax: Yes. Quite a bit, actually. You see, alexis and I were stranded in the sahara together for three days. We learned a lot about each other.
Alexis: There's nothing like the fear of death to jump-start a relationship.
Jax: Yes, that's right. And when we returned to port charles, we didn't realize how attached we'd become. And eventually the attraction became too great to resist. (I wish!!!!)
A.J.: You know, dumping ned is always a good move under any circumstances.
Ned: She may be married to you, but she's in love with me. I'll take her home.
Jax: Oh, now, that is impossible.
Ned: Why?
Jax: Look, I know it's been a while, ned, but newlyweds usually live together. If edward spots us living apart, then we could blow this whole thing.
Ned: Ok. Jax has two bedrooms. You move in there.
Jax: My thoughts exactly. You know what? Just to keep it realistic, I expect you to send us a wedding gift. Nothing extravagant, of course, but -- well, a case of champagne is always appropriate.
Alexis: And it's the bottom of the nineth and she's still winning. Is that the right anology?
Jax: That was good.