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No comments this time. On to the "show…"
Detour (7): The Well Laid Plans of Nature Chicks and Techy Geeks
Abbreviations to date:
Sloan (the real moron): RM
Marty (the tree-hugger): TH
Papa Asekoff: PA
Louis Asekoff (PA's annoying
git of a son): AG
Agent Kinsey (aka Agent Brown-Noser): AgtBN
Agent Stonecypher (aka Agent Suck-Up): AgtSU
Agent Mulder: M
Agent Scully: S
Nameless Officer: NO
Mama Asekoff: MA
Officer Fazekas (aka Nature Chick): NC
Number of Incredulous references to location: 11
Number of times Mulder calls Scully by her last name:
2
Number of times Scully calls Mulder by his last name: 4
Road beside forest. Jeff Glaser, the techhead, who will now be known as TG (for techy geek) is showing off the heat sensor machine thing. It has a camera and monitor that shows warm bodies. It's probably the type of machine that the feds were told they were not allowed to point at people's houses in order to determine whether or not they were growing pot in their apartments. What does this have to do with the story? Nothing just a bit of trivia. I'll move on.
TG: It's called FLIR for Forward Looking InfraRed. <Gee I wonder how long it took to come up with that acronym> It was developed for chopper pilots in Vietnam. Detects body heat at 300 yards.
M: ;That's pretty sophisticated for government issue. <What do you mean by that? You thought the army was using UFO technology in their planes. UFO technology. I think extraterrestrial technology which is beyond our capabilities definitely counts as "pretty sophisticated for government issue." Have you been subjected to another memory wipe?>
NC's body appears on the monitor.
NC: I see you two have met. Jeff's our local Techhead. Some people prefer searching with dogs, I prefer an extra pair of hands if I get in trouble. Are we ready to go, here? [S is having trouble on her cell phone.] Once we start in, you can put away your cell phones. The only communication in these woods is with short-wave radios. So stay close, maintain visual contact. If you get lost, initiate oral contact. That means holler. <Hmmm, good thing she mentioned that. All these college-educated people might not have figured that out. (rolls eyes)> If nobody responds, sit down - don't move. I will find you. Don't go looking for me. I know it sounds obvious, <I'm glad she knows this.> but folks still get lost.
They enter the forest. <Lions and tigers and bears oh my!>
S: [on phone] Okay. I get you. Thank you. All right. [Hangs up] [To M] Local PD has all their resources looking out for a transient, a drifter who's wanted for a double homicide in Gasden, Alabama. They were amused when I told them what we were doing. <I guess someone has to be. S doesn't look amused.>
M: I don't think it's a drifter, Scully, and we may be looking for two individuals. <On what do you base that? Oh sorry, wrong episode again.>
S: Why do you say that?
M: Well, that thing lured that woman out of the house last night to separate her from her son. <Which doesn't exactly prove that there were two individuals out there that night.>
S: But for what purpose?
M: Divide and conquer. If your enemy has greater numbers than you, you divide and conquer it to diminish those numbers. <And this is significant? How?>
S: What enemy would that be?
M: Encroaching development. That's what I suspected when I went to check on Louis and his mother. <I don't suppose it occurred to you to share that bit of information yesterday when you up and left S with her cheese and wine.>
S: You think this is about a housing tract?
M: That survey team was staking out a new 100,000 acre plot. Civilization is pushing very hard into these woods. Maybe something in these woods is pushing back.
(As they walk, NC places small white pebbles to mark their path.)
S: Anything?
TG: No. No, nothing at all. Not even wildlife.
S: Isn't that a little strange?
TG: Yeah. This forest is usually alive with sound. I'm not like an expert, but I've never seen it like this before.
S: Well, it sure is beautiful, though.
TG: Well, that's what happens. People get to looking around, next thing they know, something eats 'em. <Lovely thought. Just what one needs to hear when walking in the forest.>
S: What do you think killed those men?
TG: Nature is populated by creatures either trying to kill something they need to survive, or trying to avoid being killed by something that needs them to survive. If we become blinded by the beauty of nature, we may fail to see its cruelty and violence.
S: Walt Whitman?
TG: No. When Animals Attack on the Fox Network. <Ugh! I just hate an obvious Fox reference. And I hate that damn show.>
Creature's hand appears as it steals NC's white stones.
TG: Wait, I've got something. [M and S draw guns.] It's about twenty yards ahead.
NC: Where? I don't see it. <Isn't that why you have TG there with his FLIR?>
TG: It's just sitting there. [We see creature in the monitor.] It's on the move! [They chase.] It's moving fast! It's… it's going to the right! [They continue the chase.] Wait, wait. There's two of them now. They're moving in opposite directions. There and there.
NC and S run one way, M and TG the other. <Sucker!>
M: Where is it?
TG: It's about 40 yards ahead of you!
M: I don't see it.
TG: Now it's… gone. I don't know where it went.
Meanwhile in another part of the forest….
S: What is it?
NC: I don't know.
S: They're trying to separate us - pull us away from the others. Let's go back.
They start back slowly, NC leading. As they pass a tree, we see a face and red eyes against the bark. Suddenly, NC goes down and vanishes.
NC: Ahhhhh!
S: Michelle? Michelle?! [whisper] Jeez. [yells] Mulder, I need help! Mulder!
And then there were three.
I suppose I should be sorrier about seeing NC disappear but <shrug> I can't.
I still don't know how Mulder just knew there was more than one. The evidence so far doesn't support it. Well not until the TWO creatures showed up on the FLIR.
Mulder needs some work on his communication skills. First inform then run off. Not run off then inform the day after. UGH!
I have got to try to do these in a more timely fashion.
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