Return to Ground Zero

Before I start I must thank Ishie for the new card source.  They mailed out my order today.  Since I live in a major city there's a good chance that I'll be getting my package tomorrow!  Woo Hoo!  Thanks Ish!

I also need to thank Ish for reminding me that Tiny Dancer's site has the movie transcript.  It makes doing the dialogue a LOT easier.  I still have to do some dialogue work but I am saving a lot of wear and tear on my VCR.  Thanks again!

Despite all the work that goes into these deconstructions, I must say that I really enjoy doing them.  When of course, I can find the time to actually do them.  Having a captive audience really allows you to vent when people in real life won't bother to listen.  It's better than therapy.  And somewhat cheaper.  I OUGHT to be able to say a lot cheaper but unfortunately I can't.  Which is the fodder for the upcoming rant.

Now on to the "show."

The X-Files:  Fight The Future:  Return to Ground Zero

Abbreviations to date:
Caveman 1:  CM1
Caveman  2:  CM2
Boy 1:  B1
Stevie (a.k.a. Boy 2):  ST
Boy 3:  B3
Boy 4:  B4
Captain Miles Cooles:  CMC
Men in Biohazard suits:  MIB
Dude with Tie (Bronschweig):  DWT
Deputy Type Guy:  DTG
Skinner:  Sk
Generic Agent Type 1:  GAT1
The Big Cheese (AKA S.A.C. Michaud):  TBC
Scully:  S
Mulder:  M
Rent-a-cop 1:  RAC1
Generic Agent Type 2:  GAT2
Nameless Agent:  NA
Nameless Agent 2:  NA2
Irritating, annoying, wench:  IAW
Bartender:  Bar
Mystery Woman:  MW
Kurtzweil the old man:  OM
Cigarette Smoking Man:  CSM
Private Flunky:  PvtF
Plain Clothes Cop:  PCC

Number of times Scully has called Mulder by his last name:  29
Number of times Mulder has called Scully by her last name:  10  <Finally Mulder gets to the double digit numbers>

Number of cigarettes lit by CSM:  1

When we last left Moose and Squirrel, Moose was being totally self-absorbed and punk-like, completely ignoring Squirrel's predicament while shooting questions at her.

I suppose I'll have to be more specific.  Okay, when we last left Moose and Squirrel, Squirrel was trapped in a freezer with a dripping body,  <Ewww!> while Moose was being totally self-absorbed and punk-like, completely ignoring Squirrel's predicament while shooting questions at her.  Squirrel's luck was holding up however because it turned out  that PvtF was a complete incompetent who, when he finally got a clue, managed not to look under any of the gurneys.  Apparently, someone gave PvtF a cast off clue instead of buying a good one.  Moose, bought 2 tickets to Dallas and assumed that Squirrel would follow him like some kind of obedient lap dog or something.  Moose has a lot of nerve.  Squirrel should probably slap him.  But I don't think that'll happen any time soon.  Pity.

Dallas Texas

A plane lands at Dallas.  The landing gear touches the ground giving off a little smoke as the rubber makes contact with the asphalt.  Can you see M, S, Sk, or even The Lone Gunmen (LGM) for that matter?  No.  Are the forces of evil being shown here?  Can you see CSM lighting up a cigarette in front of a "no smoking" sign?  No.  So why the bleep is this scene here?  Surely CC doesn't think that we need to be shown a plane to know M or S flew there.  It's not like they can flap their arms and go.  Sheesh!

FBI Field Office
11:21 AM  <You knew eventually this number would have to make an appearance.>

<Okay, I'm about to do something that will make me look like a NY snob.  But I need a name for this agent and Nameless Agent and Generic Agent are already taken.  So I'm going to have to go with the name I came up with.  Sorry.>

Disembodied voice:  [offscreen] I'm afraid what you're looking for amounts to a needle in a haystack. [As a someone moves a cart of stuff, you can see that the voice belongs to a generic type agent.]  <Someone, I might add,  who's name probably isn't even in the credits.  He speaks with a southern accent and for some reason the word hayseed pops into my head.  That's what I'm calling him.> This explosion was so devastating there hasn't been much that we've been able to put together just yet.

M and Agent Hayseed (Hay) have now entered the lab area, specimens lie on the tables and men in lab coats are working on them.

M:  Well, I'm looking for anything out of the ordinary really. <Ya think?  You rarely look for something ordinary.  The last time you looked for something ordinary you got your pinky finger broken.  And the time before that had something to do with a guy who killed little girls.  There was a lot of things out of the ordinary between then.>  Maybe something from the FEMA offices where those bodies where found?

Hay:  Well, we weren't expecting to find those remains, of course, and we sent 'em off to Washington.

M:  Well, anything from those offices that you haven't send off to D.C. yet?

Hay:  Some bone fragments turned up in the sift this morning.  We thought we had another fatality but we found out FEMA recovered them from an archeological site out of town.  <Archeological dig?  Come on Hay you can't believe that.>

M:  Have you examined them?

Hay:  No, they're just fossils, as far as we know.  <You don't know much do ya?>

S enters and stands by the doorway, M sees her.

M:  I'd like you to let this person take a look at them, if you don't mind.  [He points at S.]  <This person?  What happened M you forgot her name?  Damn!  There's not even a vacant blonde in the room.  Maybe that's why M's count is so much lower than S's on the name count.  He forgets her name on occasion.>

Hay turns around, sees S and turns back to M.

Hay:  Just let me see if I can lay my hands on what you're looking for.  [He walks off.] <He sounds a bit put upon.  What?  You had better plans for the fossils Hay?>

While Hay is collecting the samples, S walks over to where M is standing.

M:  I thought you said you weren't coming.  <I was going to say something but this is a family forum.>

S:  I wasn't planning on it.  Particularly not after spending a half an hour in cold storage this morning.  <I'm fine.  Thanks for asking.>  But I got a better look at the blood and tissue samples I took from the fireman.

M:  And what did you find?

S:  Something I couldn't show to anybody else.  Not without causing the kind of attention I'd just as soon avoid right now.

She looks over M's shoulder at Hay, checking to see if he's on his way back before continuing.

S:  But, what those men were infected with contains a protein code that I've never seen before.  What it did to them, it did extremely fast.  <Score one for S on the bad grammar scorecard.  This just doesn't sound right at all.>

M:  How was it contracted?

S:  That I don't know.  But, unless it can respond to conventional treatment, it could be a serious health threat.

Hay returns with the fossils.

Hay:  Like I said, these are just fossils, but they weren't near the blast center so they're not going to tell you much.

M:  [handing S a vial containing some bone fragments.]  Right, <In other words go away little man.> [To S] Why don't you check this out?

S looks through the microscope, after a couple of seconds, she looks up at M, [cue ominous music] her eyes wide.  M turns to Hay.  <Love that silent communication.>

M:  You said you knew the location where these were found?

Hay:  Show you right on the map.

He walks off towards the map, as M and S gaze, I mean, look at one another. M has a look on his face that says "Yeah right sure it was an archeological dig."

~*~*~*~

These should probably be two separate sections but they both kinda fit the title.  And I didn't have enough to comment on frankly.

The scene changes to a bunch of kiddies playing in a playground.  <Where is the adult supervision?  That's how all this mess started in the first place.>  As the camera moves past the fence, the inconspicuous mobile base where it all started can be seen.

The scene changes again to one of the domes at the mobile base.  A big tube is pulled from a hole in the ground, one of the gurneys used to snatch the firemen from the scene earlier is being taken to the hole.  DWT, dressed in a biohazard suit peers into the gurney before he starts barking out orders.

DWT:  I want all of these settings checked and recalibrated.  I want a steady, negative two degrees Celsius throughout the transfer of the body after I've administered the vaccine. DWT apparently finished suiting up because the next time we see him, he has the entire biohazard on and is at the bottom of the ladder leading into the hole. He walks down the stairs, goes back to the glass enclosure, and heads to what's left of the fireman. What is left is even less than when he last saw it.  The chest area is empty, the alien that once resided there is gone.  <Oops!>  DWT's eyes widen and he snatches off the headpiece of the biohazard suit while whipping himself around.  He sees nothing.  He runs towards the ladder and yells up to the men at the top.

DWT:  It's gone!

Nameless Scientist (NS):  What?!

DWT begins climbing the ladder.

DWT:  It's left the body, I think it's gestated!

He stops climbing as he hears a noise and looks off to the side.  <What are you?  Nuts?  Get the bleep out of there!  Why are you wasting your time looking in the dark for ET sporting an attitude?>

NS:  What's the matter?  <In other words, get the hell out of there!>

DWT:  Wait ... I can see it. [He climbs back down and stands at the bottom. We can see a figure glistening in the darkness.]  <What are you stupid?  Get the hell out of there!  How many times must I tell you that?>

DWT:  Oh …Jesus…Lord…<It's a little late to start praying now don't you think?>

NS:  Ya, ya see it?!

DWT:  Yeah.  So much for little green men. [He begins to fumble with a pouch on his hip, taking out the needle and a small bottle with the vaccine.] I need you down here!

The two men at the top of the ladder look at each other, one nods and the other races away from the hole. Down in the hole, DWT fills the needle with the vaccine and stands looking for the alien, but he keeps hearing noises.  Apparently he is not sure where they're coming from because looks in every direction except the one from which we already saw the alien in.  From nowhere and the complete opposite direction, the alien leaps onto DWT.  Its claws appear from out of its hand, kinda like a cat and something drips off the nails.  Ordinarily I would assume it was blood but for some reason there's a major lack of a blood trail considering that the alien just hatched out of some dude's body.

DWT sees him, he hears the alien's blood-curdling and hair-raising screech and in a flash the alien is all over him like the Uniblonder on Krycek, slicing DWT's face with its claws. Somehow DWT manages to stab the alien with the needle.  The alien screams again and DWT drags himself back to the ladder and grabs it like his life depends on it.  <Actually, it does.>  A group of the men have now gathered at the top of the hole.  One of them, probably the second nameless scientist, is in a biohazard suit.

DWT:  Help!  I need help!  <You're about to find out why you were provided with such a HUGE payout on your life insurance policy.>

Without even a shared look as a means of consultation the men at the top of the hole pull the top part of the ladder aside and replace the cover.  <I think it's safe to say that DWT is a dead man.>

DWT, who has begun climbing the ladder, looks up.

DWT:  What are you doing?!

The cover is locked and dirt is piled on top of it.

DWT:  What are you doing?! <What does it look like they're doing?> Oh!  My God!

DWT's heavy breathing can be heard.

In the darkness, a noise can be heard.  Suddenly, the alien grabs DWT by the face and pulls him down.  DWT screams.

What's up with the airport scene?  Why was it there?

Boy that Hay will believe anything!  What would FEMA be doing at an archeological dig?  What POSSIBLE emergency that requires governmental help could possibly occur at an archeological site?  Come on now really!  Hey Hay!  I've got a bridge I want to sell you real cheap!

I've got a real problem with the scene with DWT in the hole.  Okay, DWT goes into the glass enclosure to test the vaccine.  He arrives to find that the alien hatched from the fireman's body.  It's not a clean process.  Obviously there's blood around.  So why aren't there any bloody handprints around?  How did the alien leave the glass enclosure?  It obviously didn't walk through the door.  It didn't crash through the glass.  Why were there no bloody trails?!

The consortium has a lousy benefit plan.  How anyone manages to stay around long enough to get into CSM's position or higher nothing short of amazing.

Not a lot of comments this time around.  Sorry.  Until next time…