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I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to post another part. I haven't had time to watch even a small snippet of the movie ALL week. RL has a very nasty habit of intruding its ugly head. I try to push it away but alas, it just wasn't having it. But I am now back to my wonderful albeit sometimes ill behaved clones and my videotape. So on to the "show"
The X-Files: Fight The Future: Made you look! or Enter Moose and Squirrel
Abbreviations to date
Caveman 1: CM1
Caveman 2: CM2
Boy 1: B1
Stevie (a.k.a. Boy 2): ST
Boy 3: B3
Boy 4: B4
Captain Miles Cooles: CMC
Men in Biohazard suits: MIB
Dude with Tie (Bronschweig): DWT
Deputy Type Guy: DTG
Midday in Dallas in the summer can only be described as hell on earth. In the surrounding area about Dallas it wasn't any better. So much for the sanctuary of the suburbs. The heat seemed to shimmer off the ground and even the slight breeze was no help at all. All it did was kick up the dust on the ground and cause it to stick to one's face covering it with a fine layer of mud. Special Agent Fox Mulder stared wistfully at his partner as he….
Oops, that is SO not the right story. On to the REAL story
Federal building
Dallas, Texas
One week later.
A helicopter files between skyscrapers buzzing offices and probably obscenely overpriced hotel rooms until it lands on the roof of a building. A bald FBI agent steps out. He's no Skinner (SK) but apparently he is the big cheese in this Mickey mouse operation <Oops I am getting ahead of myself> Anyway, he's apparently in charge of this operation. And what exactly is this operation you ask. <Operation "Sucker?"> It's a bomb hunt. Someone has called in a bomb threat to the building but the Feds don't seem to be having much luck finding it.
Generic Agent Type 1(GAT1): We've evacuated the building and been through it bottom to top. There's no trace of an explosive device or anything resembling one.
The Big Cheese {AKA Skinner wanna-be} (TBC): Have you sent the dogs through yet?
GAT1: Yes sir!
TBC: Well send them through again. [TBC walks away]
GAT1: Alright guys let's do it again. [He sounds annoyed] <I would be too if some dude just showed up in a helicopter and made me do work I already did again. And that building isn't exactly a low rise building either. Not with the helicopter pad and all. Oh and you've got to love that FBI efficiency. All TBC has to do is exit the helicopter and he gets a progress report. He doesn't even have to ask. They don't even wait for the helicopter to take off. I guess that's why they are the FBI and I'm just a big mouthed phile who apparently has no life. I wonder if it's the helicopter that does it. Maybe if I stepped off a HELICOPTER with a suit and barked authoritatively, I can get NL to my house. Hmm.>
TBC walks to the edge of the roof. He's staring at the roof of the building across the street. As the helicopter flies off you can see a figure who appears to be dressed similarly to the FBI agents with TBC, coming down the stairs. <That is the dark pants and jacket with the letters FBI on it. Of course you can't see the letters from that distance. At least *I* can't.> TBC doesn't look like a happy camper as he turns back to the gaggle of FBI agents preparing to comb through the building looking for a bomb they've already combed the building for.
Upon closer inspection, the dark clad figure is indeed an FBI agent. Not just any agent, it's the enigmatic Agent Scully (S), who is in the process of attaching the all too familiar cell phone to her ear. <Mulder isn't the only one who would suffer from catatonic schizophrenia without the cell phone.> She's talking to her partner, Mulder (M) <I know duh!> who cannot be seen. <Well at least we know he didn't ditch her this time>
S: Mulder it's me.
M: Where are you Scully?
S: I'm on the roof.
M: Did you find anything?
S: No I haven't.<She sounds annoyed. Gee I wonder why.>
M: What's wrong?
S: Well I just climbed up 12 floors, I'm hot, I'm thirsty, to be honest I'm wondering what I'm doing here.
M: You're looking for a bomb. <No shit Sherlock!>
S: Yes I know that but the threat was called in to the federal building across the street. [The building across the street where TBC and the other FBI agents are searching is shown just in case we didn't guess that they're searching the wrong building.]
M: I think they've got that covered. <Not for nothing but how the hell did Mulder manage to stay in the FBI so long with his penchant for disobeying orders?>
S: Mulder when a terrorist bomb threat is called in the rational purpose of providing that information is to allow us to find the bomb. The rational object of terrorism is to promote terror. <Is there any rationality behind terrorism? I'm not inclined to think so.> If you study the statistics you'd find a model behavioral pattern in virtually every case where a threat has turned up a explosive device. And if we don't act in accordance to that data if you ignore it as we have done, the chances are great that if there actually is a bomb we might not find it. Lives could be lost. [She pauses] Mulder. Mulder?
M: Boo! [This is said in his usual tone of voice.]
S: Jesus Mulder!
M: Whatever happened to playing a hunch Scully? <I guess the needless use of Scully's name is to let the heathens who never watched the show know that Scully is Scully. I keep forgetting that this movie was supposed to appeal to people who have NO knowledge of the show.> The element of surprise, random acts of unpredictability. If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of unforeseen possibility, we find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced. [M is now at a railing cracking on his sunflower seeds. His back is to S. He turns around] What are we doing up here Scully? It's hotter than hell. <You're looking for a bomb. I know you remember you have that photographic memory. > [He walks back in the direction they came from]
S: I know you're bored in this assignment Mulder but unconventional thinking is only going to get you into trouble now.
M: What makes you think I'm bored?
S: [continues as thoughM never spoke] You've got to quit looking for what isn't there. They've closed the X-Files Mulder. There's procedure to be followed now. Protocol.
M: Maybe we should call in a bomb threat for Houston. I think it's free beer night at the Astrodome. <You can't take him anywhere can you?>
S looks as if she's about to giveM her famous eye roll, then walks past him to the door that leads to the stairs inside. She pulls on the door and it doesn't open.
S: Now what?
M: It's locked?
S: So much for anticipating the unforeseen. <She sounds almost smug. I would be too.>
[M pushes past her and reaches for the door. It opens easily.]
S: [smiling]I had you.
M: No you didn't. <Yeah she did.>
S: Oh yeah. I had you big time.
M: You had nothing. [M followsS through the door.] Come on I saw you jiggle the handle.
Our favorite FBI agents apparently continued the conversation in the elevator. As they are leaving M is still denying any panic whatsoever. <That is SUCH a guy thing to do.>
S: I saw your face Mulder there was a definite moment of panic.
M: You've never seen me panic. <I tried to think of something to refute him and damn it he may actually be right. I'll do some digging. If I find an instance where Mulder panicked and Scully was there to see it I'm SO mentioning it. So beware of tangential gotchas.> When I panic I make this face. [M makes his panic face.] <Personally, I don't see much difference between his panic face and his normal face. Maybe it's just me.>
S: That was the face.
M: You didn't see that face.
S: I saw that face. You're buying.
M starts to walk to get the drinks.
M: [Mumbles]All right. Coke, Pepsi, saline IV? <Now here's the REAL X-File. M agreed to buy the drinks without making a stink. This is the man who tipped the pizza boy a whopping 2 cents. I am flabbergasted. Nice nod to the numerous times these two have ended up in a hospital.>
S: Something sweet.
M heads to the vending room. As he enters the room <which oddly enough is located in what appears to be the boondox of the building as opposed to being conveniently located for anyone to actually BUY anything like a normal place would have it.> the man who services the vending machines walks out. M, upon entering the room,searches his pockets for change and while on this scavenger hunt takes the opportunity to rid his pockets of some unwanted bits of lint or whatever. <Which apparently he feels the floor really needs because that's exactly where he throws it. Litterbug!> He finds the needed coins and feeds the machine. It doesn't give him his soda. After pressing all the buttons on the machines he hits the coin return button then shakes the machine for good measure. No luck. <He's going through a lot of trouble for what appears to be a whopping fifty cents. What a cheapskate!> During his attempts to beat the soda out of the machine, he notices something strange. The soda machine is not plugged in. <Yet it still lights up as though it were. Very suspicious indeed> M gives the soda machine another look then rushes for the door. It won't open.
MeanwhileS is standing by the front door waiting for her cheapskate partner to appear with the drinks. Her cell phone chirps. <you can't really call that a ring.> It's M. <Like that's a surprise. By the way the number is 555-0113. CC's just messing with our little focused minds.>
S: Scully.
M: I found the bomb.
S: You're funny. Where are you Mulder?
M: In the vending room. [M pounds on the door.]
S: Is that you pounding?
M: Yeah. You gotta get someone to open the door.
S: [Jiggling the knob.] Nice try Mulder.
M: Look Scully, it's in the soda machine. You've got about 14 minute to evacuate this building.
S: [Looks at her watch, exasperated.] Come on Mulder.
M: 13:56, 13:54, 13:52, 13:50 you see a pattern emerging here Scully? <Nice way to throw her earlier words back at her.>
S looks down at the doorknob and notices that it's been soldered. No way anyone is getting this door open.
S: Hold on Mulder I'm going to get you out of there.
Mulder stands in the vending room with his panic face on.
To be continued…
I had to split this up into two posts it was getting WAY too long.
This scene actually sets up M and S nicely. No brooding and wailing and moaning about the closing of the X-Files. M andS actually getting along. No "rift" and lots of friendly banter. They use one another's name a bit much but otherwise very nice.
I keep forgetting that the movie is supposed to clue in non philes. Which explains the long exchange about protocol and expecting the unforeseen. And I guess the constant use of the last name.
Now a comment. There's a bomb threat called in. They evacuate the building in the bomb threat was called into but they leave the surrounding buildings occupied? Does this sound right? I hope a bomb threat isn't called in near where *I* am.
Oh and M has to be the cheapest man on the planet. I hope when he finally takes S out to dinner (as in on a date) he doesn't try to pass of a meal at McDonald's as dinner. Otherwise I would have to insist that she shoot him again.
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