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Deer Hunters Lament
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1:00 A.M.
Alarm Clock Rings
2:00 A.M.
Hunting partner arrives, drag you out of bed
2:30 A.M.
Throw everything except the kitchen sink in pick-up
3:00 A.M.
Leave for deep woods
3:15 A.M.
Drive back home and pick up gun
3:30 A.M.
Drive like crazy to get to woods before daylight
4:00 A.M
Set up camp - forgot the tent
4:30 A.M.
Head into woods
6:05 A.M.
See eight deer
6:06 A.M.
Take aim and squeeze trigger
6:07 A.M.
Click
6:08 A.M.
Load gun while watching deer go over hill
8:00 A.M.
Head back to camp
9:00 A.M.
Still looking for camp
10:00 A.M.
Realize you don't know where camp is
12:00 Noon
Fire gun for help - eat wild berries
12:15 P.M.
Ran out of bullets -eight deer come back
12:20 P.M.
Strange feeling in stomach
12:30 P.M.
Realize you ate poison berries
12:45 P.M.
Rescued
12:55 P.M.
Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped
3:00 P.M.
Arrive back at camp
3:30 P.M.
Leave to kill deer
4:00 P.M.
Return to camp for bullets
4:01 P.M.
Load gun - Leave camp again
5:00 P.M.
Empty gun on squirrel that's bugging you
6:00 P.M.
Arrive at camp, see deer grazing
6:01 P.M.
Load gun
6:02 P.M.
Fire gun, hit pick-up
6:05 P.M.
Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer
6:06 P.M.
Repress strong desire to shoot hunting partner
6:07 P.M.
Fall in fire
6:10 P.M.
Change clothes -throw burned ones into fire
6:15 P.M.
Take pick-up, leave partner and his deer in woods
6:25 P.M.
Pick-up boils over - hole shot in block
6:26 P.M.
Start walking
6:30 P.M.
Stumble and fall - drop gun in mud
6:35 P.M.
Meet deer
6:36 P.M.
Take aim
6:37 P.M.
Fire gun - blow up barrel, plugged with mud
6:38 P.M.
Climb tree
9:00 P.M.
Deer departs - wrap gun around tree
MIDNIGHT
Home at last
Sunday - Watch foot ball on T.V. slowly tearing up hunting
license into little pieces -place in envelope and mail to hunting
partner.
Author ~ Unknown ~
I dedicate this to all the hunters out there.
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