THE AWKWARD STAGE IS OVER: THINGS THAT SUCK


There are a ton of things that totally suck. Think about it. Let's see... there's the McRib sandwich from McDonald's, dropping the remote control on the floor and having to search for the missing batteries, biting into a chicken patty from the school cafeteria and getting a rock in your mouth, and plenty of other things. One thing that really really sucks is the Awkward Stage. Most people have gone through them. You know what I'm talking about. When you look in your sixth and seventh grade yearbooks and see yourself with a half smile on your face, a huge pimple on your chin, and a tweety bird shirt, you've found your awkward stage. Some people's were horrible, for example, my sister's. She wore sparkly purple leggins, huge t-shirts, black orthopedic shoes, and had greasy hair and a too-large nose. That picture is something we laugh at often. Other people's awkward stages don't really seem that relevent. Like the popular girl. She's fully developed, has an uncanny sense for fashion, and her hair always looks good. And you know that when she looks at her 7th grade yearbook picture, she grimaces and wonders WHY she ever had friends at that point in her life. So now that we've firmly established that awkward stages suck, we can move on.

This page does in fact tie in with a certain Mr. Isaac Hanson. If awkward stages suck, having them while in the public eye sucks worse. And poor Isaac, when Hanson came out, he was smack dab in the middle of his. He had braces, a cheesy grin, frizzy hair that was too long, weighed about 80 lbs, and had two extremely cute-in-a-little-boy-way brothers. He was constantly picked on by even the most devoted "fans". I remember one time stepping into a message board and reading a girl profess her undying love for Taylor and Zac, and then leaving with, "But I think Isaac looks like a freakin' horse.". I was so angry when I read that. Though he may not have been as physically stimulating as his brothers at the time, didn't his personality more than compensate? Zac was being a jerk and switching off interview-recordings in Sweden, Taylor was making a fool of himself by his 'humans CAN be pogo sticks' theory, and Isaac was answering the questions sensibly and making jokes that people over the age of 12 were laughing at.

But guess what girls? Hear Ye, Hear Ye, Isaac fans past, present, and future: THE AWKWARD STAGE IS OVER!!! I'm not quite sure when it ended, but let's just say that Isaac went into hiding in 1998 a caterpillar and came out a butterfly. Along with a renewed confidence (see picture below), a new haircut, and a nice little tan, he no longer can be described as a horse, even as a magical pony. While not quite a man, he's definitely not a little boy anymore. And now, guess what else? Though he seems like a totally new guy, HE ISN'T!!!! Isn't that great!? So now, he has the look (thanks to the death of awkward stage #1), but his personality didn't back up into a little corner when #1 left. It stuck with him for the long haul. Thank goodness. If he suddenly became all stuck up and ditzy, I wouldn't know waht to do with myself. I'd probably die a slow and painful death in a ditch. Where I lie. Bleeding from every orfice until a slow and painful death was inevitable. So basically, thanks to the Death of the Awkward Stage adn Isaac Hanson, I am still here today, in all my glory. And that's a good reason for you people to rejoice.


To prove my wonderful points above, I'd like to you take a look at some pictures of Isaac over the years.

BEFORE

AFTER


BEFORE

AFTER


Who but Isaac Hanson would be brave enough to appear on national TV like this? That's what this whole ramble is about.


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