Uncle Sam Jam

UNCLE SAM JAM 2000

On June 17th of 2000, my day started at about 8 o'clock in the morning because I had to...wonder of all wonders, clean for my older brother's Open House that would take place 8 hours later. I had managed to convince my mom that it is not a royal catastrophe to not attend your own brother's graduation party. The concert was to start at about the same time as my brother's Open House, so I really had no choice but to miss one of them. After several hours of running around and catering to everything my mother wished me to do to help out, I called my friend Virginia and told her my aunt was picking me up a little after noon and bringing my cousin Lindsay and me over to Virginia's house so we could leave with VA's mom for the concert: the B96 Summer Bash. By about one o'clock, Lindsay, VA, her mom, and I were on our way to Joliet. I was in the parking lot at Walgreens, had gotten into the car, looked up and saw through the windshield: CAN'T STOP. That's all I could see on the side of a semi at the end of the parking lot. The cars were blocking my view. So of course, I laughed at that and Lindsay and VA were like, "Maybe it's a sign!" I was like, "Either that or God has a twisted sense of humor!" (It ended up being "Can't Stop Eating 'Em" for Jay's Potato Chips.)

After a not so long drive, we were in the bumper to bumper traffic before the Route 66 Raceway, holding up signs like "Honk if you're here to see Hanson" and then flipping it to "Sisqo" or others to get responses. After taking an hour to move about 3 miles, we finally reached the parking lot and VA's mom dropped us off. We were to meet her to leave at about 8:15, since we knew what time Hanson was to perform and didn't really want to stay for the rest of the concert, but we allowed ourselves about 2 hours of time for afterwards. Once inside the open-air venue, Lindsay, VA, and I pleaded with a very nice B96 official before taking our seats to let us go backstage because we're MOE members, but she said it was strictly forbidden. :( Because the guards made us walk around the entire venue to get to our restricted entrance (you couldn't break any rules in this place), we missed Mandy Moore's opening performance, but we could hear it okay. We finally got to our seats at about 19th row of the side section, which are okay, but not as good as FLOOR seats. Our level went UP each row, so our seats were definitely not the best place to be if you wanted to interact w/the people onstage. Most of the beginning of the concert passed uneventfully as Destiny's Child, a local band called Faze 4, and Eiffel 65 performed.

As Eiffel 65 performed, we pleaded with an usher to let us go into the 5th row Floor seats because it was like, entirely empty. We told her we'd leave as soon as Hanson was finished, but she said she couldn't do it. We'd have to talk to another guard. So we tried talking to others. They said NO. Now, at this place, there were guards every 5 ft. demanding that you "FIND YOUR SEATS" and "GET OUT OF THE AISLES" because there were 60,000 seats and thus, 60,000 wreckless people to protect from harm.

Lindsay and I went outside to look for a neon green bracelet she swore she'd stepped on during our walk to our entrance, because we'd noticed that many of the press could go backstage because of these neon bracelets. We couldn't find it, and returned to our seats. We decided not to just sit there and watch Eiffel 65, so VA, Lindsay, and I left our 19th row side level seats and exited back out. We went through another entrance--strictly forbidden--with VA making up a lie about guys tripping us in the other entrance. We did this to get away from the guards that were near our seats that knew we were trying to get onto the floor, hehe. Now we were even further from the stage, in one of the side aisles, planning our next move. A set of guards laid before us guarding another entrance to the previously mentioned FLOOR seats, many of whom checked ticket stubs. Our stubs said SS Row 19, not anything related to the floor. :) Still, VA urged me to try and go past a guard. I took a deep breath, walked up and waved my ticket in the air like I had gotten back from getting refreshments or something and was just returning to my seat. He nodded at me, and so I got through. VA and Lindsay did the same. Now we were ON THE FLOOR! Hey, you have to be sneaky liars to get ahead in the concert world.

Our problem now was: we didn't have seats on the floor. Where to sit? There weren't guards bugging you every 2 ft., so we managed to get up to the aisle between the 2nd and 3rd floor sections until we reached masses of guards. After getting lost from VA and Lindsay, I managed to get myself up to the main aisle behind the front section (of about 20-something rows) with a lie to a few guards about a dude running off with me and my friends' ticket stubs while I was waiting in line to buy popcorn. (In the later version, I was buying a hotdog, hehe.) Note: It helps your case if you have misty eyes and try cracking your voice a little bit. I suddenly realized that I was missing my friends, so I walked back down to the end of the 2nd section. I was behind the guards taking ticket stubs to let people get into the 2nd section, and so their backs were facing me. I suddenly spotted VA and Lindsay waiting hopelessly behind the guards. They looked up at me and...their jaws dropped. I waved and then pretended that I was going to leave them behind, but then I went back up behind the guards. Lindsay suddenly recovered from her bewilderment and whipped up a small lie. "Dude, THERE you are!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. A woman guard in front of Lindsay looked behind her shoulder at me. "Do you have our tickets?" Lindsay asked me. I played along. "Yeah, of course, I have your tickets!" I said, praying that the guard wouldn't ask to actually see them. The guard shrugged her shoulders and let VA and Lindsay through. As we walked back up to the main aisle behind the 1st section, I explained to them how I had managed to get myself up there. They were impressed. So now we were in the main aisle behind the 1st (front) section, with guards all around us making us find our seats. Hanson was due to arrive onstage any minute. They'd gotten "stuck in traffic", so crappy rap music was blasting for this whole time--about 20 minutes. After minutes of constant moving to avoid confrontations with guards, I decided it was time to try my lie again. With my luck, this time I was talking to a manager. She was wearing a different set of apparel than the others. At first she appeared numb, like this had never happened before and what the hell was she supposed to do. She asked me questions about what my seat numbers were, and I was like, "I don't know! I just remember that they're in 3rd row!" ***misty eyes again*** Why 3rd row? I have no idea. ;P Finally, she talked with another manager and let us through into the front section, telling us that if the guards up at the front made us leave, we'd just have to obey. Well, we kind of maneuvered into about 5th row (the empty row we'd seen before), but it was now only vacant on the very left part. I wanted to be closer to the center. (I should have tried my lie to get me into 3rd row CENTER instead of the left side, hehe.) So I mosied on up to about 2nd row, and this guard asks for my stub. Lindsay and VA had come up, too now. After trying to explain to him that a manager was allowing me up there (he couldn't hear me over the loud rap music), he brought over a different manager who kicked us out. She said we'd have to have that other manager bring us up to the front HERSELF. Now we were back in the aisle behind the front section. I asked the manager I'd talked to before to help us out by bringing us up there, but she wouldn't do it. :( VA and Lindsay were like, "What is wrong with you?! We could have had 5th row!" and I felt bad, but hey, I'd gotten them up this far. So we suddenly realize that Hanson has already finished "You Never Know". I hadn't even noticed them come out, except for all the cheering inter-laced with boos from the ignorant sections of the venue. Hanson was launching into "Where's the Love". We decided it was time to enjoy ourselves now--no more trying to lie our way up front. We took picture after picture as they performed "If Only" next, followed by "This Time Around". The piano part was so beautiful. "Gimme Some Lovin'", dedicated to John Belushi (I think) was next. The last 2 songs were "MMMBop" and "In the City". Boy, Ike and Taylor were moving all across the stage, tagging hands and asking repeatedly, "Are you SURE you guys are okay?" Everyone was on their feet, people that were previously booing were now biting their lips in embarrassment and trying not to clap along, and the Hanson fans were unbelievable in their cheering. Even guys were trying to sing along with MMMBop. The whole place was full of energy. (Up until Hanson's performance, everyone looked like they were gonna fall asleep. None of the other groups had interacted with the crowd!) At one point in "In the City", Taylor was running up to Ike to share the microphone. He leaned in to Ike and asked "Do you love me?" Much to my amusement, it looked like he was asking IKE if IKE loved HIM. Taylor got kind of a funny look on his face then and turned his body around, hehe. By the end of their performance, we'd been kicked out of every aisle and row imaginable, thousands of guys were on their feet screaming "Yeah-yeah!", and the crowd got a taste of a side of Hanson they never knew existed. Grown men were waiting afterward for autographs. We had rushed out of the seats and up to a gate to do the same. After 2 hours spent with some very cool fans, all we had gotten was waves from Hanson behind the fence. They had too many interviews to do. Then they got on their bus and prepared to leave.

It was 8:30, and we were late to meet VA's mom. We exited through the gate and were entering the parking lot when Lindsay pointed to the far left and announced, "Hey, there's their bus!" It had surprisingly pulled out from the "backstage" area and was moving down the little road in between the parking lots just like any other car. So I was about to drop my folders of drawings and my camera, plus I had a backpack on, so I was screaming at VA and Lindsay to slow down as they ran ahead to wave to Hanson. I sort of waddled and jogged ahead, but headed to the right. I slowed to a walk as Hanson's tour bus (tinted and all black) was pulling past where Lindsay and VA were running and waving. I noticed about 25 girls trailing behind the bus screaming, which was unbelievably funny. The bus was pulling closer to me now: about 35 ft. ahead and to the left. I could see into the back window of the bus, and Taylor and Zac were waving at the girls trailing behind them and the girls waving with VA and Lindsay. Boy, were they smiling and laughing at the girls. Despite the contagious excitement of the other girls, I didn't freak out and start waving frantically like the others. I extended my arm up, waved calmly at the boys behind the open window, and smiled. Zac looked away from the other girls and over to me (the only one who was standing in that area) and waved to me for about 5 seconds. He almost looked surprised that I wasn't screaming like the others. I noticed that Taylor was still looking at the other girls to my far left that were now running alongside the bus toward me. I was thinking "Dammit, Taylor, look over here" Finally, he did look over at me as the back window was passing me. He waved politely. The screaming girls were approaching me now. All of a sudden, Taylor whirls something out onto the street. (Hey, maybe he meant it for me--I was the only fan not flipping out. :) A girl came out of nowhere, dived onto the road in shorts and sandals, and snatched the object up. [It was Taylor's backstage pass--which the girl probably couldn't use now anyway, because the ticket-takers had told us once you leave and enter the parking lot, they can't let you back into the theatre. ***ponders why***] The silver equipment bus that was following the tour bus almost hit the girl. They swerved out of the way and slammed on the brakes. After a few moments of making sure that the chick was okay (man, she took a hard fall), VA and Lindsay and I--panting for breath--walked over to VA's mom's car. We pulled onto that little street between the lots, turned right, and pulled onto the highway and away from the theater. Now, being the normal human beings that we are, VA, Lindsay, and I would never try to follow Hanson intentionally. We were joking, of course, saying "Which way did they turn? We should follow them!" but we were not serious and didn't know which direction they'd taken on the highway. Now, since it had taken an hour to travel 3 miles on the way into the theater, we realized that even though we'd only been driving for about 5 minutes, we'd missed our exit. We needed to turn off at another one. So we were still going ahead, kind of lost, and VA suddenly goes, "Oh my God! Dude, Hanson's bus is up there!" I squinted in the dark but couldn't see it. VA sweared to her mom and us that she saw the back lights of the silver equipment bus pull around a curve about a mile ahead. Well, since we were lost anyway, we told VA's mom "Speed UP!" and she obeyed. Soon we were behind the silver bus, which we knew was following Hanson's tour bus. For some reason, we ended up under an overpass, but there was a right turn available, and Hanson was taking it. (I think the driver was getting lost--you'll see why I think that later.) We needed to turn around, so we were like, "Follow that turn!" Now we were behind the buses in some kind of mid-sized town backstreet section with stoplights at every block. VA's mom said she'd pull alongside the bus if we wanted and we were like, "Yeah!" so she pulled into the right lane of this street and sped up a little. We reached a stoplight and we were...next to Hanson's black tour bus.

Lindsay and VA were frantically rolling down their windows. I tried to do the same, but mine only rolled down about halfway, and it wasn't worth it to me to hang out of my window if it meant I was going to crush my ribs. :) Lindsay started screaming for Zac, because he's her favorite. And since I didn't have any other plans, I yelled Zac a few times, too. A guy sitting at the back window of the bus (the lights were on in most of the windows, so that's why we could see him), who was probably some kinda roadie, was waving to us and smiling. Lindsay was like, "GET ZACCCC!" to him and he even though his window wasn't open, I knew he got the message. Lindsay kept screaming for Zac, and the guard got up and left the window, so we were like, "NOOOOOO!" The light turned green. We pulled ahead, so that our car was now way ahead of their bus (on the left of us). We could see into the front of the bus. We were waving frantically once we saw Isaac sitting in a little living room area behind the driver, talking to his dad (who I recognized from a few pictures I'd seen) and some woman and another guy. Zac was standing next to one of them. Who waved back to us? The driver. :) So we told VA's mom to SLOW DOWN now that we had actual proof Hanson was in there. We were back alongside them, screaming for...Zac again. Why? I don't know. Taylor's the one who appreciates the fans the most. Then again, we didn't know where he was. Maybe he was in his room or in the bathroom. :)

Then all of a sudden, we're pulling ahead again, and someone comes to the back window. He's standing next to the roadie and talking to him. He looks out at us. It's Zac. "Slow DOWNNNN!" we scream. "It's ZACCCC! He's looking at us!!!" VA's mom slows down verrry slowly and we continue to wave to Zac. At this point, Lindsay and VA are hanging out the window. I knocked on the back window and called his name a few times, and Zac squinted and looked down and waved to me. (I was in the backseat. Lindsay was next to me on the left, the closest to Zac. VA's mom was duh...in the driver's seat. VA was in the front on the right.) He could barely see me because of the darkness and me not hanging out my window and all. Then VA's mom slowed down too much, and we were trailing behind, almost next to the silver bus. Zac opened the window, which of course made us want to speed up. Zac's head was out the window, and he was looking back at us and waving like, "What the hell? You scream for me, I come over here, and then you slow down?" So we sped up again, until finally we were alongside the back window.

"Hi!" Zac calls with another wave. He's literally five feet from Lindsay's window, but of course he's up higher.

"Hey!" we all call. "What's up?" Lindsay asks.

Zac smiles sheepishly and looks back at the roadie. "Please don't follow us," he says sincerely. Note: You wait 3 years to talk to this guy and that's what he says? Hey, it could be worse. :)

Us: "No, Zac, we're not trying to follow you. We don't want to follow you guys."

VA's mom says, "They just want some pictures."

Lindsay: "We just wanted to say 'Hi'. That's all. We want to say 'Hi'." Zac looks over his shoulder again and his cheeks are kind of red. He gets an embarrassed look on his face, looks at us, and then waves very strangely like he's waxing a car in front of him with a very odd "Okay...(pause) Hi." You have no idea how funny that looked, but we tried not to laugh.

Then there was a series of words spoken in about 20 seconds' time that we either can't remember or couldn't even hear him say (with the car moving and the wind blowing and all). VA said something about an online friend she knows (who claims she knows Zac) saying Hi. She couldn't hear Zac's response. Then we reassured Zac again that we weren't going to follow them, and so the roadie, who had been on the phone, looks down at Lindsay and VA hangin' out the window of a moving vehicle and calls, "God, guys. Be careful!" And I couldn't hear this, but then Zac was like, "Yeah, guys. Drive safe. Please don't kill yourselves."

And Lindsay and VA smile and say, "Oh, no problem. We're fine..." And so then Zac waves some more and we say our goodbyes. Of course, VA and I had snapped a couple of pictures during this. Lindsay was like, waving frantically at Zac and he just smiled and waved to her as he closed his window. We reached another stoplight (like, the billionth one) and as promised, we turned right so as not to follow them, and they turned back onto the highway. They must have been really lost. :)

We pulled right into some empty parking lot and watched as their bus pulled up the ramp to the highway. Then...they honked for us. Not like, one of those 'Get out of my way' honks for people who cut you off. It was a "beep-beeep". We smiled. Hey--Hanson honked for us. That's pretty cool. So we pulled onto the highway again. A lesser person would keep following, but we're not insane. We turned around to find an exit to go home. Our only mystery is: Who told the driver to honk for us??? Zac? Maybe Ike felt bad since he just sat up in the front the whole time and watched Tiger Woods on TV, and so he decided to make a nice gesture? Did Taylor come out of his room or the bathroom and say "Fans? I missed it?!! Honk for them!" or maybe...ahem, I hope not, but maybe the driver himself decided to. You can imagine the stories we've come up with to explain that part. I guess we'll never know until we meet them in October and ask Zac. Oh, and we will meet them. ;)


Thanks so much for that review, April. You lucky dog! :)

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