You wake up with a sense of dread. Oh my goodness, it's May 9th, 2000. A Tuesday. You've been waiting for this day for about 3 months now. And before today, it was all in a positive aspect. But today, after school, you're going to the record store to buy Hanson's new cd, "This Time Around". If things go as planned, you'll run to the mall, jump into Camelot Music, grab and purchase the cd, duck out, go home, and lock yourself in your room for three hours to thouroughly examine the musicality of it. If things don't go as planned, you'll spontaneously combust. Wow, what a day.
"Well, I'm NOT going to the mall, if that's what you were suggesting!! I'm going home. I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!!!" You yell, running away quickly. School is out in two minutes. You decide to leave early. After all, you're in your student assistant period anyway. You run to the car, open up your cd case, and pull out Green Day's Nimrod CD. You glance around quickly, open the case, and come face to face with the Middle of Nowhere CD. You pop it into the player at twice the speed of light. Hahaha, foiled again. Phew, on the way to the mall.
You walk confidently into Camelot Music, stopping to inspect some 'totally awesome, I swear' t-shirts of the Backstreet Boys. You ponder why it's socially acceptable to like a band with less talent in music than in sex appeal, while liking a band that was huge three years ago but became a stigma isn't proper. The world these days. You shake your head sadly. You head over to the Pop/Rock aisles and walk slowly up and down. You spot the CD cover a few feet down the row, next to "HART'S GREATEST HITS". Ah, Hart's Greatest Hits. Your saving grace. You walk over quickly and glace around. There are three people in the same aisle, but none of them are looking at you. You pick up the Hart CD and hold it at arm's length. To the casual passerby, you are a near-sighted Hart fan. Upon closer inspection, you aren't even looking at the Hart CD, you're staring into the eyes of the guys. Ahhh....your heart suddenly feels warm inside. Someone walks by and looks at you curiously,. They're probably wondering while you're holding a CD at arms length and not even looking at it. You feel the need to say something.
"Cataracts." You mumble. That is an eye disease, isn't it? The on-looker doesn't seem convinced, so you begin to blink 'uncontrollably', hitting your head with your free hand. Hopefully that's a symptom of cataracts. The person walks by, shaking their head. Ah...sweet success. Now is the time for your big move. With one fell swoop, you wave your hand holding the Hart CD (as a distraction) and pick up the Hanson CD with your other hand. You quickly tuck it under your shirt and hurry to the cash register. The teen girl starts ringing up your order of a Hanson and a Hart CD.
"Big Hanson fan, eh?" She asks loudly, snapping her gum. The walls close in. Your pupils dialate. Your blood pressure rushes up to 130 over 97. You take a step back, trying desperately to say something.
"It's for my little sister." You manage to squeak out. You search your mind for something else. "She um...she was dropped out of a car as a child." You offer. The girl glances up at you and resumes with her ringing-up. You pay the girl and run out of the store, out of the mall, and to your car (which you parked next to the JC Penny entrance so no one would think you were going to Camelot). You dive in, drive home, and run up to your room. You carefully un-wrap This Time Around and Hart's Greatest Hits. You walk over to your CD player, remove the This Time Around single and place in the album. As the music starts, you stare dreamily at the cd jacket. It was worth it. Everything is ok now, and hearing the first few notes of the CD is enough to make you march back to Camelot and buy another one. Or something. You sigh, place your new Hart CD on top of the other three Hart CD's that occupy your cd holder, and sink into bed.
You wake up at at 5:00 AM. You ponder for a few seconds why you're up at 5 when school doesn't start for three hours. Suddenly, it hits you like Wylie Coyote hitting a brick wall at break-neck speed. Or something. It's MAY 9th 2000!!!!! The new Hanson CD came out five hours and three minutes ago!!! OMIFREAKINGOSH!!! You leap out of your wonderfully cosy Hanson bedsheets, and run to the bathroom. You mentally plan your schedule.
5:15-shower
5:30-makeup. Lots of make-up. You're stuck on this one idea that's been coursing through your head for two months. If you're the very first person to buy the This Time Around CD on the very first day it's available to the public, maybe Hanson would be there to congratulate and sign the CD. I mean, it's far-fetched, but when you think about it, you just live on the southwest side of Texas, which is only one state away from Oklahoma. One very large state, like, the second or third largest in America, but still, it's only one state away. Anyway this relates to make-up because... um...oh yeah, because you want to look good if Hanson surprises you. Back to the schedule.
6:00-Head to Camelot Music for the most important purchase of your adult life.
7:00-Rush to school to get there on time.
7:30-Check in with the attendence office (you need an alibi) to say 'hullo' to the nice woman behind the computer.
7:35-Sneak out to your car, drive home, and stay in your room for three hours, listening (and looking) to/at the new CD.
11:00-Show up to school just in time for lunch, and continue the day as normal.
You sprint into the store as soon as it opens and run wildly around, looking for the New Releases rack. It's kinda crazy, but there are quite a few people in the store. You hadn't expected projects today! Oh, if only (teehee!) you could convert the whole store into Hanson fans, then you'd really have something to tell your boys when they surprised you in a few minutes. You spy the CD sitting on a rack. YES!!!!!! But wait, there, in that corner, could it be?? (is it she? Sacre bleu, invaders!) It's a HEE-UGE Hanson poster. You run over, hop onto a rack and begin kissing the picture of your favorite brother furiously. The whole store begins to look at you (baby) (oh man! I'm on a roll!). Hehehe.
"I AM MR. AND MRS. HANSON'S LOVE CHILD!!!!" You yell loudly, before running back to the H section of the Pop/Rock aisle. As you're couting the number of copies (dangit! Only four! You wanted to buy five, you know, for record sale boosting), you realise that if indeed you were Mr. and Mrs. Hanson's love child (which is hard, since they're married), you would be the Hanson boys' sister! Omifreakingosh, you just kissed your brother, on the lips!!! You have a sudden urge to vomit. Aiming away from the Hanson CD's, you spew all over Hart's Greatest Hits. Oh well, no one buys those anyway.
You purchase your 5 CD's (there were a bunch on the New Releases rack) and run outside of the store. You try to look together as you step outside. By now, given all the signs you've recieved today (that poster was there for a reason), you know that Isaac, Taylor, and Zac will be there. You wait for a few minutes, inspecting behind various bushes, trees, and inanimate objects, but no Hanson. You bite your lip to keep the tears from falling, but you can't hold on any longer. The tears flow freely as you walk to the car. Wouldn't it be ironic if they came out from behind a car right now, with you looking as you do. You hop into your bright orange car with the huge PHF bumper sticker (Proud Hanson Fan/Praise Hanson's Faces, you decide) on the back and speed of to school. You really wish you had a cd player in your car, but alas, you don't. You run into school check in with the nice attendence lady behind the desk, and high tail it out to your car and to your house. You place the CD in the player and prepare for a spiritual experience. When your mom comes home from work nine hours later, she finds you passed out on the floor. An autopsy shows that as soon as you put the CD in the player, you passed out, fell, and cut your forehead with the edge of one of the new Hanson CD's you bought. Oh, the pain we fans go through for Hanson.
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