Chapter 4:
Changing The Route? OH HELL YEAH! The next morning, Isaac awoke to a “Love Me Tender” wake-up call from the front desk. “Oh, God, not another one of THOSE again,” Isaac grumbled as he hung up the phone. He woke his brothers up, they all got dressed, and they went down to the lobby for breakfast. As soon as they found a table, they sat down and started chowing down.
As soon as they got to the car, the younger two could tell that Isaac had something very important to say. “Guys, I’ve made a crucial decision. We’re gonna turn around, sorta,” Isaac stated proudly. “How exactly?” Zac asked, scratching his head. Isaac got out a map, and spread it across the hood of the car. “See here? This is where WE are,” Isaac said, pointing to Nashville on the map, then said, “We wanna cross through Mississippi, just miss Little Rock, and we wanna hit Victoria, Texas!” “Victoria? Why Victoria?” Taylor asked, scratching his head in unison with Zac. “It’s for Zac, but Zac, it’s a surprise, you hear?” Isaac asked, looking at Zac. “I hear ya.”
They followed the exact route they planned, just missing Little Rock by a few miles. On the way to Victoria, Zac and Taylor played Acrophobia with friends on the Internet. Isaac was humming along to the many blues stations they found down South, as well as some country stations, which got on Zac’s nerves so much, 24/7 threatened to self-destruct. (AGAIN) As soon as they got to Victoria, they discovered a tall man trying to fix his truck
“Well, guys, another car to fix,” Zac screeched, rolling his eyes. “NOW I can agree that this is NOT one of the spies. Looks more like a redneck,” Isaac agreed. “Well, guys, I dunno. Looks untrustworthy,” Taylor sheepishly stated. “Well, guys, the only way to find out is to see who it is, first.” Isaac stated. Taylor grabbed Isaac’s shirt collar. “Curiousity killed the cat,” Taylor growled. “Yeah, and interest ate the mouse, now come on,” Isaac snarled, and the younger two followed.
As the curious trio approached the tall man with the black truck, they heard such comments as... “Piece of trash,” “Son of a bitch,” and even “Wad of monkey crap.” “Taylor, I think you were right, curiousity DID kill the cat.” Isaac chattered. However, before they could escape, the man turned around and looked at them.
“What the Hell are you kids doing here? Y’all know I don’t sign pieces of your Dad’s truck,” he hissed. “Dad’s truck? MY dad has never even DRIVEN A TRUCK!” Isaac yelled. The man looked at Zac, constantly examining him carefully, even sniffing the air that surrounded him. “You know, son, I think I kinda recognize ya,” he said, still sniffing. Zac suddenly got up on a crate and did his infamous D-Lo voice. “I think YOU better recognize the fact that I recognize YOU!” “Oh, geez, there goes the B-Lo voice again,” Isaac growled. “Shut up, before I stomp a mud hole in you, walk it dry, AND shove my decoder up your a...” Zac started, but the estranged man interrupted him.
“Where’d you hear THOSE words, son?” he asked. “From some wrestler. You probably wouldn’t know, though,” Zac told him. “Well, Hell yeah I would, cuz I wrestle.” “Okay, it comes from this guy...” Zac suddenly became speechless. He then realized that the lines he were using came from that same man that stood before him. “Speechless?” the man asked, “You act SO speechless, you got nuttin to say. Yup, you’re lookin at that same person,” the man said. “Stone Cold? Oh, my God!” Zac shrieked and fainted. Just to make it look interesting for Austin, Taylor and Isaac fainted as well.
The three woke up in a house full of guns, books, and even some fake hunting trophies of Shane McMahon. The decoder was beeping that all too familiar Steve Austin theme. “You guys up for some lunch?” Austin asked, as the other three woke up. “Lunch? OH HELL YEAH!” Zac screamed from the couch he and his brothers were laying on. Austin scoffed at Zac’s remark, and went into the kitchen to make some lunch.
While they were chowing down on some sandwiches that Austin made, Isaac questioned the meat that was in it. “What type of meat is this? This is pretty good!” Austin replied with that coy smile that made Shane McMahon go to pieces. “Whitetail deer.” “I had some Canadian moose once, and it was tougher than the Ministry’s discipline policy,” Taylor giggled. They all laughed.
“So, Zac, I have to ask, why the Hell did you decide to try and sneak up on me in my hometown?” Austin asked with a whispery snarl. “It wasn’t my idea, it was Isaac’s. Anyway, we’re trying to escape from these weirdoes known as 3 and 4, who want this device that some way or another got into my stomach. According to the news, the device I swallowed can crack every government code in the WORLD!” “Holy crap, kid, you better get away from those people.” “The problem is, Steve, they are tracking us every minute, and they know we have an unfair advantage.” “What would that advantage be?” Isaac finally spoke up. “We have a lightyear-speed function on our ZX2, and we use that to get away from him.” “So that’s how you ended up here?” “Pretty much, yeah.”
After an autograph session and they said their final good-byes, Hanson drove off into the horizon, heading east. They wondered who else they would bump into on their everlasting trip to escape from 3 and 4. They pulled over by the Mississippi River to sleep under the stars, where they built a camp-fire near the river and told scary stories of their many possible fates. After telling stories, they went to sleep, and dreamed of what the next day would bring them.