Chapter 3 : New Age Outlaws In Nashville

The next afternoon, the troublesome trio stumbled upon two men trying to fix their car. “Hey guys, wanna be good Samaritans, and help those guys fix their car?” Zac barked from the back seat. “Are you nuts, Zac? It could be those spies trying to trick us!” Isaac yelled. As they drove by the two men, Zac said, “How did you know that one of them wears red cornrows, and the other one was a blonde? Doesn’t sound like the spies to me!” “They could be in disguise.” “Let’s help them anyway. It might be our ONLY good deed on this trip.” “Fine, Zac, you win, but don’t be crying at me when we find out it’s the spies.” Isaac turned the ZX2 around, and stopped to help the men with their car.

Isaac was surprised to find what was in the men’s car. Porno, old tag team belts, and SPANDEX? “You havin trouble with your car?” Isaac asked sheepishly. One of them, who had red cornrows, not to mention a deep Southern accent said, “Yeah, boy, you know cars?” “I was a mechanic in Jenks.” Isaac said. He was a former mechanic, but only held the job for a month. “Gunn, pop the hood, and let the young ‘un have a look at it,” he yelled. Isaac went under the hood, and saw the trouble. “I see the problem, Mr...” Isaac started. “Dogg.” “Ok, Dogg, your battery’s dead.” “I told ya to get a new battery!” Dogg yelled to Gunn.

Isaac hooked his ZX2’s battery up to that of their rickety Corvette. Before Dogg could talk to Isaac, Zac ran up to him. “You’re the Road Dogg, Jesse James! The Badd Ass, Billy Gunn, the NEW AGE OUTLAWS!!!!!!” Zac yelled, using a computer chip as a mike. “Smart kid,” Billy barked from the front seat. “I watch RAW and Heat,” Zac chimed. Road Dogg grabbed a marker, and signed the computer chip. Zac handed the chip to Gunn, and he did the same.

After the autograph exchange, the fixing of the Corvette began. “Alright, Tay, start her up!” Isaac yelled. After the ZX2 was started up, Dogg turned to Isaac. “That’s a pretty car, son, where’d ya get it?” Dogg asked. Isaac replied with a smile. “Got it in Cobb County, Georgia. The guy who sold it to me was a rocket scientist who put this SWEET lightyear function on my car.” “What year is it?” “1999.” “That’s a beautiful lookin car!” Dogg barked, staring in envy. “Look on the bright side, Dogg, at least we still have your Momma’s Corvette!” Gunn yelled from the car. “Gunn, for once, SHUT UP!” Dogg yelled. The other three were enjoying the Outlaws fight with each other.

“Well, we gotta go, cause we have these two Hansonomaniacs on our tail.” Zac said, holding his stomach in the direction of Jesse. “Well, you young ‘un’s take it easy, now!” Jesse yelled as he got back in the car, then added, “Bye guys, thanks for fixin the car!” “I’ll catch you on Heat!” Zac barked from the backseat, and they parted ways.

Nashville was about to get even MORE notorious than what it already was to the troublesome trio. They not only barely escaped the Nashville Predators bus, but they just missed being crushed by an oil driller. They ate their lunch in Graceland, where Zac started a liking to fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Taylor and Isaac did not exactly think of the sandwiches as the perfect gourmet, but the FRUGAL gourmet.

As soon as they settled down in a Nashville Comfort Inn, they watched a little bit of TRL, Daria, and even laughed at Dr. Drew and What’s-his-name on Loveline. After they got their boxers and everything else on, Zac said, “Ya know, guys, today wasn’t such a bad day. It could’ve gotten worse.” “Yeah, it would have been 10 times worse if the people with the broken car were really the spies instead of the New Age Outlaws,” Isaac pointed out. “Oh, duh, Ike, like we didn’t know that already,” Taylor squeaked, rolling his eyes. “Well, who knows who we’ll meet tomorrow. Who next? Elvis’s relatives? Jeff Jarett, a.k.a. the OTHER Nugget, who knows? We just might bump into the Spice Girls,” Zac lectured. “Do NOT mention those bitches in my presence. One of them almost forced me to have sex with them,” Isaac concluded. “Well, forget about that, and let’s get some rest.” And with that, all three Hansons fell asleep on their beds, dreaming about what the next day would bring them.

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Chapter 2

Chapter 4