Where does this go?

Captain Nifty Speaks Out - 1999

Well Here's a little thing I came up with. It consists of me typing whatever pops into my head and posting it on the internet for people like you to read; and speaking of whatever here it is...

Thursday December 30, 1999 3:08 PM

Well I thought I should update my page before Y2K destroys the world, and then I also thought, "hey I should wish everyone a happy Quanza!" but then I thought no I won't wish them a happy quanza I should wish them a Crazy quanza." so then I guess I'm done and have a Crazy Quanza!

Wednesday December 8, 1999 6:02 PM

Is anyone reading this page? hello are you there, please respond, if you are reading this send me email right now, come on do it! do it now! You can do it you stupid little loser just click the shiny colored text and send me mail saying that your reading my page!!!

Friday December 3, 1999 3:10 PM

So um I was just wondering about that filling in twinkies what is it? I have little theory going that it's some kind of nuclear byproduct with amazing taste properties. I might be wrong but who really cares, I know I don't, so well, I think I'm done writing stuff, me done now, no type more...

I think it's Thursday November 18, 1999 at 8:24 PM

well it's Thursday night and well I was updating my page instead of doing homework, and I was thinking hey maybe I should write something crazy or wacky, but instead I decided to listen to mp3's and type whatever comes into my head, hey would it be weird if you typed all of the punctuation in a sentence period I think that would be interesting comma and at the very least you would have a reason to write the word "semi-colon" semi-colon and possibly some other words maybe you could do it in contractions too comma like I apostrophe m very tired of typing and am going to stop now comma as of the end of this sentence period question mark exclamation mark question mark

Saturday, November 13, 1999 "I don't care what time it is!"

Ahh Saturday, the weekend, such a relaxing time, isn't it? why yes it is, but wait it's Saturday the 13th that sounds like bad luck I sure hope bad stuff doesn't happen to me, like maybe my head will explode, or maybe an North American black bear will break down the door and attack me and have my head explode, or or wait maybe there could be monkeys involved, yeah like flying monkeys who serve an evil witch from, lets say the west, she would of course be very wicked in fact she could be called the wicked witch from the west coast, yes the flying monkeys, attacking black bears, and exploding heads would certainly make this an unlucky day, but none of that happened in fact I've had a fairly good day; I slept till like 8:00 and then watched anime on the sci-fi channel, If you don't have the sci-fi channel call your local cable operator, and say hey Mr. Cable Operator I'd really like the sci-fi channel so I can watch Anime at 8:00 AM on Saturdays or I'll track you down and horribly slaughter your family!

Monday, November 1, 1999 8:13 AM

Well today is Monday, the start of the week I am really tired because the stupid daylight savings thing confused me and I missed some sleep because of it, who came up with the whole change the clocks twice a year, I'll tell ya who it was, the communists!! Yep those crazy commies, it's their plan to destroy the western world. The USSR didn't die it moved to invisible space stations in orbit so they could all look down at us and laugh their big communistic laugh, bwah ha ha ha ha!! Well I'll show them; maybe it's just the lack of sleep talking or maybe their mind control is wearing off, so I'd better type fast before they regain control.... well I must have been completely mistaken communism is good; sleep, eat, be happy, and then DIE!!!!

Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha......ha ha ha........ha........

Sunday, October 17, 1999 8:45 PM

I've been thinking about the current state of the public school system of the United States, mainly because I'm currently enrolled in it, so yes I do attend public school so please use smaller words, anyhow public school does suck, and it appears to be a total waste of my time, I think it's that way because the older people of this country have an ongoing conspiracy to try and keep the younger generation down for their own personal gain, mainly this involves us being so disgusted with school that we will quit and get highly profitable jobs in our early teens so that the government can tax the hell out of us so that social security will work for them and they can all retire and live off of our fortunes, and so that when we want to retire and the system has broken down they'll all be dead and have lived a happy life with our money!
I just thought of something else what ever happened to killer bees did they just go away or are they hiding waiting for us to drop our defenses and then when were not looking out of the dark of the night they'll come, Ohhh killer bees yeah right (spoken sarcastically), that what they all said, well maybe they're just all working for the bees and what about the communists did they just go away, NO that's just what they wanted you to think!

P.S. Sorry for the excessive paranoia I'm tired and a bit delusional

Saturday, September 18, 1999 10:26 AM

Hey everybody it's Saturday, and you know what that means I have time to update my webpage, woo hoo! So um lets see um so how about that local sports team? well let's see um boy I'm pretty lazy and I've already typed a lot I guess I just didn't have anything to say this time... ---END COMMUNICATION---

Wednsday, September 1, 1999 3:13

Have you ever wondered why there are capital letters and not capital numbers? I've often pondered this age old question and I still don't know the answer, it always bugs me when I'm typing and holding shift, usually when doing fun HTML, and I need my favorite little characters < and >, especially when there's a number in the tag and I continue to hold down shift, because I normally do tags in all caps, but numbers don't capitalize so I'll get a messed up tag like < FONT SIZE = # > that really bothers me because it never does what I want and so... um... GOODBYE I'LL WRITE AGAIN PROBABLY IN @ OR # WEEKS

Thursday, August 19, 1999 10:01 AM

Well it's been a couple of weeks so I think I'll write something again, today I share a quote from the longest running primetime cartoon, yes I'm talking about The Simpsons™ well anyhow here's the quote...

The wars of the future will not be fought on the battlefield or at sea. They will be fought in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain. In either case, most of the actual fighting will be done by small robots. And as you go forth today remember always your duty is clear: To build and maintain those robots. Thank you.

-- Military school Commandant's graduation address, "The Secret War of Lisa Simpson"

Did everyone enjoy that simpsons quote, well you better it took me about 15 minutes to find it online at The Simpsons Archive and it took a lot of time to search through all the crap they have compiled. Well anyway I'm sick of HTML for know so I'm done, goodbye, leave!

Wednesday, August 4, 1999 4:44 PM EDT

Isn't it amazing it's 4:44 although not where I live but Eastern Daylight time it is, well it was it's not anymore, but if your really lucky you might just be viewing this at 4:44 where you live, or it could be 4:44 somewhere else, or not; I'm not exactly sure how the whole "time" thing really works, because if you think about it the whole concept of time is based on something as arbitrary as the orbit and rotation of the earth which isn't even a constant thing it changes so every couple of years a bunch of scientists get together and say, "oops the time is off better add a few extra seconds to this year." now is just me who finds that slightly disturbing, I don't know, and speaking of time I have to go so from everyone here, just me, at the captain nifty webpage writing place, my house, wish you a happy holidays! or possibly not!

Thursday July 8, 1999 4:49 PM

Well I haven't written here in a long time... so I think I don't know what to write right now so um... lava lamp...

Monday June 14, 1999 6:39 PM

Jeaze it really has been a long time since I updated this page but since I would bet only 4 people ever see this page and 3 of them are me myself and I, I don't think I've hurt very many feelings and if I did I'm sorry. So I guess this should start going somewhere like maybe dehydrated peanut butter or perhaps the current state of the lawn gnome population of North Dakota or something just as zany and or interesting but instead how about that wonderful catch phrase thought by those genius dairy farmers of America "Got Milk?" have you ever wondered how this phrase would be translated into other languages so that it might enter their pop culture world of really shiny things well anyhow the point of this is that "got milk?" translated into Spanish and then translated back to English turns out to be "Are you lactating?" interesting huh so Umm TTFN. (Ta Ta For Now)

Friday May 28, 1999 4:37 PM

So it's the weekend again and I guess I should redo this page to keep it minty fresh and such, so how about those crazy Smurfs they were like all blue and stuff and they all lived in mushroom houses and Papa Smurf was all magical and that Gargamel guy wanted to turn them into gold and their was only one girl, Smurfette, that was kind of odd, well anyway new subject how about those zany flying squirrels, mainly I'm just talking about Rocky the flying squirrel he was way better than that stupid old moose Bullwinkle and that's about all I have to say about that whatever that was I still can't tell soTHE END

Monday May 17, 1999 3:09ish

Well all is well in the land of bunnies and cake except for the bunny carcasses and the crumbs, so anyhow today I was reminded of the wonderful invention of spirograph, you remember it right the interlocking circles that drew the cool pictures what ever happened to that I thought it was pretty cool but somewhere along the line I lost / broke mine and have been deprived of my spirograph, so anyway umm.... Go Spirograph!! and on a totally different subject how about that 22nd and 24th president of the United States Grover Cleveland; he was president in the years 1885-89 and then again in 1893-97 the only guy who was president then wasn't and then was again, crazy stuff isn't it, for more information consult your local library or really old person!

Saturday May 1, 1999 Around 8:22 PM or so

Well I seem to be writing these things on Saturdays, maybe it's some sort of weird pattern of when I have some free time in which to think, I meen type; I suppose I should start typing about something I think I'll type about the wonderful SAT program, I took the test this morning, and let me just say that it's not a good way to start the weekend plus 8 AM is not a good time to have to be awake, dressed and trying to think; all at the same time, but I suppose I got through it, ha I think I'll wait till I get the score before I can say I got through it. I think I'll stop typing because I'm pretty lazy and I think I hear Scorched Earth - the Mother of All Games calling me, so uhh goodnite

Saturday April 24, 1999 approximately 2:37 PM

Well the weekend is finally here and that's my favorite time of the week, I think the reason I like the weekends so much more than the regular weekdays; Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, is because the weekend days, Saturday and Sunday, start with the letter S which is a very nice letter, it's a consonant, fairly commonly used too, I guess another reason I like the weekend is because I don't have to go to school, not that schools a bad place, it's just really really boring, but anyway I think that Friday is a good enough day that it ought to belong to the weekend group of days.

I think it's about time for a new sentence and the subject of this sentence will be The American Involvement in the United Nations airstrike campaign against Kosovo, just kidding if you want to know about that read a paper, I think I'd rather talk about the fact that it's raining; now isn't that amazing, If you want to know what the weather's like where you live, look out the window, or simply click here, well I think I'm going to stop I'm getting pretty bored so have a good day Because it's the weekend so be happy.


"Please stop calling me chief"