And THIS I just have to share........
Thanks to Rainbow Lungs-A fellow painter (can ya tell? I love that name!) for this one.......LMAO too funny!
The boss has to lay some one off, just one though. The two people on the bottom of the totem pole are Denise. a party girl by night and Jack. your all around yuppie. They were both hired in on the same day. They both have not missed a day of work since being hired, they both do the job with outstanding results. Now the boss ponders on how he plans making his decision to lay one of these two off. He finally decides that tomorrow morning the first person at the water cooler will get the axe. The boss is in early the next day, sitting in his office watching the water cooler. In strolls Denise looking a bit rough. Oh well says the boss, looks like I have to go give her the bad news. Boss strolls over and says, "Denise, I have some bad news, I am either going to have to lay you or Jack off!" Denise, not being tight lipped says, "Just go Jack off, I was out late, am a bit hung over, and don't feel like getting laid"
A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now."
He looks at her and says angrily "Fix the light? NOW? Does it look like I have a GE logo on my forehead? I DON'T THINK SO!"
The wife asks, "Well then could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right!"
To which he replied, "Fix fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I DON'T THINK SO!
"FINE" she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break". "I don't want to fix steps!" he says. "Does it look like I have Home Hardware written on my forehead? I DON'T THINK SO! I've had ENOUGH of YOU. I'm going to the bar!!!"
So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours. He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go back home and help out. As he walks into the house he sees the steps are already fixed. As he enters the front door he sees the hall light is working fine. As he goes to get a beer he notice the fridge door is now closing properly. "Honey" he asks, "How'd all this get fixed?"
She replied, "Well when you left I sat outside and cried. Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong. I told him and he offered to do all the repairs for me. All I had to do was either bake him a cake or go to bed with him."
He asked, "So what sort of cake did you bake him?"
She replied, "HELLOOOOO.......DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!"
heh heh heh.....
