this must be my first piece of digital portrait painting. i finally put my wacom tablet to use! i ve always wanted to get my hands onto painting ... but without them getting dirty. it s supposed to be a little favour for a fren, somehow after seeing photoshop 7 's great improvement on its assortment of brushes, i decided to experiment on digital painting.

what i intended to be a 1-day job, which i expected to stretch to 2, ended up taking 3 days. only glad i was able to hold myself back from smoothing out all the brush strokes, and end up with another glossy piece of perfect computer graphics. i also played around with the composition & make a pseudo-lomo supersampler image. although i like my work as i mostly do, i know it s still a great difference to be able to do it with the computer than with hand. nevertheless, it s a good start for me to proceed with digital painting to do those complex background shots, instead of using 3D for everything.
:: daydreamer 9/29/2002 10:29:00 PM [+] ::
...

jack neo 's variety show topic tonght is the EM1/EM3 issue, yet again. they brought up an example of the kinda questions for primary school students nowsday. it goes like this:

1 table can have 8 chairs, 2 tables can have 12 chairs, 3 tables can have 16 chairs. so how many chairs can 24 tables have?

since i always think highly of my IQ, so the only logical (& least lame)reason for me to be the last one in the family to recognise the pattern,beside my mum, must be i simply arent concentrating (come to think of it, how can i be sure mum doesnt know? ooops ...).

eventually, we would all know it s a pattern recognition test. the kind they used on me & my bro generation (3G, we are the ones enjoying the fruits of success of the nation without much experience of hardships) for choosing kids into the gifted programme. now it s the normal kinda question to expect for aprimary school kid, so we learnt. what kinda genius such a kid must be to be able to tackle such questions at this age.

while everyone of us know that it s adding 4 chairs every additional table, my sis-in-law, the teacher, told us there is this certain 24n + n formula, where n=4 in this case.her little cousin was in tears a few days ago while she tried in vain to make her understand this. but something else is bothering me.

i m those kind who would ve the problem hanging in my mind if i cant figure it out. that s why i always avoid IQ questions & things like that. & now, i just dont see how the hell do they derive this 24n + n from that problem? issit some standard formula? like those kinda we need to memorise by heart in order to solve any problems? but as far as i know, studying nowsday s no longer the memory game i played so well last time ...

ahhhh ... when can i learn to accept i m not at all the whiz kid i believe myself used to be, but merely a book-mugging robot. i m never intelligent. i m just incredibly hardworking (as a form of console).
:: daydreamer 9/27/2002 10:01:00 PM [+] ::
...

i got a half-hour temporary job this morning which earns me a hundred bucks. pretty good money huh. i was body guard for my mum to escort her to collect some prize money. of course, i m kinda paiseh to accept my mum 's money but then what can i say, i can only justify it as my body guard fees haha!

finally i learnt of the rules in 4D. & thanks to the internet, from where alas i understand what 'big' & 'small' really mean in the game of lottery. all this while i m saying abt buying 4D yet i know nuts about it. not sure if i would be tempted to bet a few numbers though, anyway i ve got no inspiration now.

dont know if i m repeating myself on this thought. i feel that i begin to understand more the mentality of my late dad abt betting 4D. i remember he said something abt he dont ve any hope (in his life) anymore. at that time, i dislike my dad & his betting habit became just another thing to dislike him for. thus, betting on 4D as a source of hope in life would naturally be the most lame excuse for me then.

in actaul fact, my dad s never the die-hard gambler sort. whatever he did, the family comes first. his 4D betting is really small. i guess i just dislike him for the sake of disliking him that time. with no education & a low-pay laborous odd job & the years counting on him, there s little means for him to achieve a better living for himself & my family. & all these years, i ve been wondering if this is the hope he s talking about, although secretly i ve already convinced myself to be so.

now i can see that my mum s taking over the hobby. i myself mildly tempted. in whatever ways, 4D or not, probably it s just about ppl buying some hope in their life ... a little something or a wondrous surprise to look forward to each day?
:: daydreamer 9/26/2002 11:01:00 AM [+] ::
...

˫�ֽ���, ��ʲôҲ�о��
�ſ�˫��, ����ӵ��һ��

i just watched crouching tiger, hidden dragon tv run. i still like very much this dialogue chow yun fatt 's character said to michelle yeo 's. that whole scene where he said this seemed so decievingly simple, yet everytime i watched, it never fail to move me. how did lee ang do it? he made it looks as if he did nothing much to the setup ...
:: daydreamer 9/22/2002 10:27:00 PM [+] ::
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just see tv that children 's day is coming soon, any good idea how to celebrate?
:: daydreamer 9/22/2002 12:24:00 PM [+] ::
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Mutent Aliens.com, bill plymton 's webbie. the documentaries section has got his weekly diary about his animation process, seems interesting, though i ve never see 1 yet ... coz i no broadband, so ... sob sob.
:: daydreamer 9/22/2002 12:02:00 PM [+] ::
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Story Kitchen where 2 of my frens & ex-colleagues seem to ve some mouth-watering dishes cooking in their pots. JF & yihchwen are working on their comic abt a girl with wings. they ve set up a survey there to find out the most attractive hairstyle for their lead character too. & the 1st time i come across this innovative survey incentive, a discount for your feedback when the book is released hehe!
:: daydreamer 9/22/2002 11:55:00 AM [+] ::
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an interesting nursery rhyme six little mice:

Six little mice sat down to spin;
Pussy passed by and she peeped in;
�What are you doing, my little men?�
�Weaving coats for gentlemen."
�Shall I come in and cut off your threads?�
�No, no, Mistress Pussy, you'd bite off our heads.�
�Oh, no, I'll not; I'll help you to spin.�
�That may be so, but you don't come in!�

my fren, rex, has changed the words & make it to a song for his short animated musical. i ve seen the animatics which is really fun & appealing. i ve never really learn or hear any nursery rhyme before (not that i can remember), so this first one i hear sounds so good that i really wonder how much i miss out as a kid ehehe! then again, maybe it s becoz of the visuals that comes with it. i hope to see the finished work soon.

rex 's version:

Three mice went into a hole one day.
Puss came by and puss looked in;
�What are you doing, my little men?�
�Weaving coats for gentlemen."
�Please let me help you to wind up your threads?�
�Oh no, Mistress Pussy, you'd bite off our heads.�
�Oh no, Mistress Pussy, you'd bite off our heads.�
Says Puss �You look so wonderous wise .�
�I like your whiskers and bright brown eyes.�
�Your house is the nicest house I see.�
�I think there is room for you and me.�
The mice were so please that they opened the door.
And Pussy soon laid them all dead on the floor,
and Pussy soon laid them all dead on the floor.

�IS THERE A CAT IN YOUR LIFE?�

:: daydreamer 9/21/2002 02:20:00 PM [+] ::
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my bro just told me he resigned from his current job finally. he would be moving on to a smaller setup started by ex-colleagues. we all know it s a good move, even if he s leaving a reknown company for a new startup. it s no point getting stuck on a shit project in a prestigious company & seeing no light at the end of the tunnel.

however, there s something he brought up that rings a bell in my head. he said that he would never want a condo nor a car, & end up a slave for life to them. i cant agree more. suppose he s got heavy monthly instalments to pay for these things, he can never resign from his job & try out new opportunities just like that. no way.

why do many ppl like to live in condo? yes, if i m not paying any bills, which means unless i ve well-off parents or parents who slaved themselves to afford it. but for ppl with modest upbringing like me & my bro, we just dont see much difference. what s the use of swimming pools, gyms & all kinda wonderful facilities if we wont even ve time to enjoy them? ironically, some ppl slave themselves away trying to pay for things they cant even enjoy.

i read abt this guy who came bck to set up his own consultancy after many years working overseas. there is a lot of important things he talked abt but i only ve a deep impression on a rather trivial question he posed. he said he once met some hippy european hitchhikers who declared that they only want to see more of this world. & this s what he cant understand. how can they be so carefree, or should i say free-spirited?

what s another person of my age, say who grows up in a farm in holland thinking abt now, as compared to me? monthly instalments? CPF? why do 'hardworking, honest, efficient & boring ppl' (as described by the above mentioned person in the article on singaporeans in general) down here has to worry abt such things for life? issit necessary?

of course, i m still in midst to find out.
:: daydreamer 9/20/2002 10:01:00 PM [+] ::
...

very glad to get to know a new fren, Choon Meng from Scrawl Studios.

i really like the story idea of his latest award-winning illustrated story Slip!, abt a lizard that cant stick on to the wall. too bad i havent really seen the whole thing but the few images on the papers.
:: daydreamer 9/20/2002 02:05:00 PM [+] ::
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gosh. the terrorists actaully went for overseas military (terrorist) training. dont they ve enough of those during NS & reservist? maybe they are drivers/storemen/clerk last time. that s why they wanted it so badly.
:: daydreamer 9/19/2002 11:57:00 PM [+] ::
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A Tribute to Ray Harryhausen, i thought it s some serious thing when i got the url. it turned out pretty hilarious, played to the cantonese version of the song YMCA.
:: daydreamer 9/18/2002 12:09:00 PM [+] ::
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i m finally posting. just finished fixing up my workstation after letting the whole thing dragged for more than 2 weeks. this whole episode really makes me realised how much this pile of metal & electronic parts can affect my livelihood. this s really an out-of-mill sci-fi theme ---- technology in control of our daily lives. but gosh, all the frustration & mood swings i ve experienced trying 'get bck to my normal life', makes me think of doing something that has got nothing to do with a computer instead. of course, i cant really come up with anything i can do, which has got nothing to do with a computer in this technological age, can i?

anyway, not feeling very creative tonite to write. i blame it on my feeling too relax & comfortable after returning to the civilian world from another where mosquitoes outnumbered & bullied man in sticky hot camouflage uniform. i shall get back on serious business tomorrow!

*i saw paulho ceulho 's new book, warrior of light last weekend ... hmmm ... shall i do it the next?
:: daydreamer 9/16/2002 10:48:00 PM [+] ::
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all this talk abt 9-11 in camp today. the trainers told us some of those poor NSF boys went on red alert & others got deployed with live ammo at particular places. if i m not in camp probably i wont even take notice. honestly, i think it would be difficult to detect if those wrecko seriously meant business. but then again, i just dont think they ll be stupid enough to do it again for some anniversary celebration or what at this time. however, it seems uniformed personels are gonna ve a bad time this period for a few years to come.

would osama be throwing a celebration party tomorrow?
:: daydreamer 9/10/2002 10:37:00 PM [+] ::
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this is probably a cliche thing to say. but these few days i ve been telling some frens that i feel like i m on a long vacation now. ya, a long vacation of my life, as in the jap serial drama long vacation, which i ve never watch more than an episode. initially, there were a few frens, new & old, who are on such a vacation too, & more or less share this experience. but one by one, they ve ended their vacation & back to pursuing their goals. i m left behind, not too sure when my time would come, wondering if i should let it start in the first place.

things arent too smooth for me last week but i want too much to maintain my peaceful state of mind for as long as i can. i ve no great expectation this week, just hope to finish my in-camp without much hassle.
:: daydreamer 9/09/2002 09:16:00 PM [+] ::
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blaue reiter started a 'ten most influential films poll' on his blog. i managed to come out with more than 10, which are influential to me, then i decided not to review the list anymore after the nth time. there is always the tendency to make changes the more i look at it. so here it is:

10 feature films/feature animations that influenced me/or i liked most *which i can remember*
1) citizen kane
2) 2001: a space oddessy
3) battleship potemkin
4) moulin rouge
5) spirited away
6) gattaca
7) once upon a time in china (can put part 1& 2 together save 1 slot ahah!)
8) crouching tiger, hidden dragon
9) christmas in august
10) amelie

the others i would include are: face off, chinese ghost story (movie, not animation), patlabor 1& 2, saving private ryan. non-feature length shorts include the glassy ocean, which i m sure not many would likely know this jap animated short.
:: daydreamer 9/09/2002 12:29:00 AM [+] ::
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isnt it a service pack! stoopid microsoft service pack 3 ruined my system, doing such great disservice! for nothing i find myself wasting more time on things like this & now i ve broken my unspoken rule not to use this blog as a place to whine ... yet again! when would my bad fortune end. shall say no more. feeling pathetic enough to be using my retired slow-coach workstation now.
:: daydreamer 9/06/2002 12:47:00 AM [+] ::
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what do u do immediately after u break a glass? clean the mess up or say out loud "��ؿ���" (luo di kai hua, drop on floor open a flower, chinese equal of saying "god bless you" when someone sneezed) for luck?

look at what she did here :P
:: daydreamer 9/04/2002 03:32:00 PM [+] ::
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"I do so many jobs not because I 'm good at them. I 'm not, actually, which is fine because creativity and imagination are more important than skill and have no limitation."
------ Robert Rodriguez, who wrote, directed, produced, designed & edited Spy Kids & now Spy Kids 2

but in sg it s most probably because one simply dont ve any money to hire anybody to do it. & even so, one would rather die than say those cursed words "I 'm not good". if open-mindedness is rare in the recognition of individual talents, it s even more so in the appreciation of any creative ppl who can be true-to-self.
:: daydreamer 9/04/2002 11:59:00 AM [+] ::
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You must be joking! There's two Peishan Chans in your life?! Boy, Waiming you're one lucky guy! HAhAHhHAhahaa.....


most probably, peishan, but what a way to put it hehe! anyway, i do need the luck, that s for sure.
:: Peishan 9/02/2002 04:41:00 PM [+] ::
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i m very unlucky man today. i ve developed a phobia for buying new gadgets to plug on to my com system. the plug-&-play feature never seem to work for me. i must always spend more time than it s supposed to need to install these stoopid devices. last time the wacom, but it s ok coz i bought it super cheap. well, the epson scanner i bought today from comex is kinda cheap too. but i dont deserve this manzzz ... think it must be faulty & i ll need to make another trip for change. what a waste of time.

i m just so unlucky. the chinese believed that we cant always tell what s to come is truly good or bad. just when u think u ve got something bad luck, a good fortune may be following after, or vice versa. since i ve got my bad luck already, i want so much to believe this to be true.


update: the chinese saying has disappointed me! more bad luck followed instead! & i dont believe that s to pave the way for even more good luck to come. i ve brought the scanner to the shop at SL square for exchange, without calling up first. the shop s closed when i got there. i just hope they are only closing on a monday to compensate the weekend at comex. dont supposed they would actually sell faulty scanners & run away right?
:: daydreamer 9/02/2002 01:16:00 AM [+] ::
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i ve watched this last episode of a BBC documentary, think it s titled life sense (?), on how our body host a whole ecology of billions of micro life forms, & how crucial the balance of their population is to our health, or even survival. ever since i saw the way they magnified different parts of our body & showed the activities of all kinds of flea, bacteria, lice, etc on them, i cant help having weird imagination of my armpit as one huge tropical rainforest, bustling with all forms of life. now everytime i make a scratch on my itchy back, i know that a few millions of micro-organism has fallen off.

however, 1 important message of the program is the vitality for balance, be it the ecology of our body, or that of the planet earth. thus, i m supposed to get rid of them constantly (bath myself, brush my teeth, wash my head, or scratch my back) but i also cant get rid of them entirely. it s a pretty weird fact to accept (or even to begin to imagine) that my well-being is dependent on my harmony with billions of tiny weeny things living on me. but as long as i cant see them, i guess all s fine with me.

just now, i had an experience of 'being in harmony' with another tiny lifeform. well, not too tiny that i cant see it though. when i was about to change after coming home, i looked into the mirror & saw a bug (the common kind we ve got here, quite harmless, yet i never know its name) on my tee. & who knows how long it ve been there, motionless, undetectable (at least to me) all this while i m on the streets!

of course, that was as long as such a harmonious relationship could last. i hope it can find a better life down my rubbish chute. no wonder i seemed to attract an unusually generous amount of attention on the streets today, especially unbelievable after i ve just got this ugly haircut this morning.
:: daydreamer 9/01/2002 01:04:00 AM [+] ::
...