Should I be blamed for their mistakes?
And everything for them that goes wrong?
Its so easy to tell the real from the fake,
and to tell who should really belong.
But no matter how hard I try, Im knocked back down.
Hit to the bottom, hurt so hard.
Wounded and bruised before I even hit the ground.
I do what I can to make them feel good,
They know i dont want to see them mad.
Its so obvious im not treated like I should,
but it doesnt make them the least bit sad.
Don't I care how i am treated?
Do i care how i feel?
When I know im being cheated,
how am i supposed to deal?
When i know the ones i love sit back and grin,
Not caring that they're ripping me up inside.
Who is the one who wins,
when whats being taken from me is my pride?
What do i do when i cant sleep at night?
How do I calm my fears?
How do I expect to win the fight,
If I cant get ride of these tears?
How can I pick myself up,
When I know i'll be knocked down again?
How can I find faith in someone else,
when I feel like I dont have a friend?
How do I put an end to what I feel inside?
How do I stop it all?
For all my life am I supposed to hide?
When i know that i'll still fall?
Sucking myself back to that place I hate so much,
and the faces I hate to see,
despising every single touch,
and not knowing who to be.
Once I reach the top,
Theres no way out of what Im going through.
How do I know whats right?
When I dont know what to do,
and theres nothing left to fight?
Feeling so alone,
wanting to end my life.
Hurting all the way to the bone,
Holding up the knife.
Life is so cruel, when theres noone to hear me scream
Everyone is different, noones ever what they seem.
One might seem happy, the next day they die.
People find out, people are hurt, some people even cry.
I know this wasnt a mistake,
This im sure I know.
Maybe god just hadn't realized,
That it was my time to go.
Goodbye to my family,
and everyone who treated me wrong.
Forever more I'll rest peacfully,
I've found where I belong.
--- Nicole

 

The tiredness overcomes me,
The blurriness makes it hard to see.
I know I shouldn't have done
what my crazed mind told me to,
But my sane thoughts were just a few.
They said stop before i hurt myself.
The only problem was they came,
after i put everything back on the shelf.
As i lay there being drained,
I thought of everything.
Of the boy I used to think I loved,
Before everything in my life became tough.
They never understood the things i went thru,
Not just emotionally, but mentally too.
It seemed like no one cared,
I thought my problems were so bad,
That they could never be shared.
If I told someone, I knew I'd run.
Because I lost my trust with everyone.
They all went behind my back and lied,
You dont understand how much I felt denied.
But its too late not for me,
And now from the lies and hurt, I am free.
--- Nicole

 

 

With every word, a new mistake,

Saying things that should not wake,

How could I mistake you?

Why can't I forsake you?

 

Losing ground, every day,

No known caue as to why I fell this way,

How could I ever blame you?

Why can't I stop faming you?

 

Holding onto old memories,

A door without a set of keys,

How could i ever misplace you?

Why can't i find something new?

 

With every word, a new mistake,

Writing things that should not wake,

How could i mistake you?

Why cant i forsake you?

--- R 

 

I am a conformist

i am conforming

watch me twist like a contortionist

But I am challenging

 

I am a failing parachuter

I am falling

Watch me plummit into your abyss

But I am enjoying

 

I am a caged animal

I am tiring

Watch me box myself in tighter

But I am still surviving

 

I am a liar

I am lieing

Watch me decieve you with every move and trick

But i am dying

--- R

 

Gone
I know that there is nothing left for me,

In the depths of your eyes I see,

All the loneliness

Lost innocence

And it was all one big fucking joke to you,

And you can’t understand,

How much I understand

The reason you couldn’t be with me,

I know I’m not a man,

But you would never say that

Would you?

You couldn’t say that

Could you?

And I realize that in the end everybody dies,

But you can see my death

Within my eyes

And I’ve cried so long,

No one understands

that I’ve tried so hard to find my home

And I’ve searched so long

For what you call a heart

And I only ever find one that breaks

And you took it away in one breath,

And I never understood

How you could

Rip me away without even a thought

But I came to realize

That even throughout all your lies,

You all was meant more to me then me

And now I’ve come to realize that’s all they were

Only lies

And that sparkle that I now see in your yes

You never felt that way for me

And I don’t see how you managed

You looked me in the eyes

And you told me that you loved me

Then you held me so close and told me we would never break

But we broke

Your choice

Was to leave

Me here on my own

To find this thing they call a home

And all end this now with a few more words

I loved you so much that it hurt

And my heart still feels like its gonna break

I’ve fallen and there is no where safe

You left me and now…

I’m gone

 

--- Alex http://www.livejournal.com/users/sangdelacour/ 

http://www.livejournal.com/users/sangdelacour/6046.html

Drowning in my well of self hatred, trying to find my own way, trying to build a bridge to get over my self inflicted wounds, sending myself into my own self misery, not thinking of what it could do or how many cared, all I knew is that my life would no longer be bared, they day of the passing was when the bridge was built, it eased my pain, but brought to others guilt, I was no longer there, no longer there to care, it made them think twice about what they have done or tried to do, as they laid the flowers down on a cold hard stone, and said I love you

---anonymous

Hello there!

It’s me again,

Coming back for more of the same old shit.

I managed to pick myself up again,

Now here I am waiting for you to knock me down once more.

Your features are unreadable,

And there’s nothing but smoke where the fire in your eyes should be.

But I can feel your gaze on me,

Feel you looking me over,

Judging me and picking out my flaws.

Things that once terrified me,

Now seem humble and weak compared to you.

And I know I seem like nothing,

As opposed to all the others,

But I can be messed up too,

Watch me try!

I can cut if you want,

If it’ll make you love me more,

And if not I guess I’m screwed.

Not that there was a time I ever wasn’t.

It’s all so amazing to me,

How you can kill me without realizing that you’re doing a thing.

You have this incredible gift,

To make people hate themselves,

And realize how fucked up life can be.

So congratulations,

You’ve really done it now,

You’ve successfully managed to kick the legs out from under me,

And leave me to drown in your own self-contempt.

---Anonymous

You make it hard to breathe

When you’re holding me as tight as you do

And some of the things you say make me cry inside

And I don’t think you realize what those "jokes" do to me

Making me feel like shit

Like I never was, never will be and am definitely not worth any of it

And when I really need to talk to you

You’re not always willing to listen

Despite what you say

You can always find ways of distracting me long enough to make your getaway

But you make it so damn hard to be mad at you

Cuz I have to catch my breath whenever I hear your voice

And when I see your face everything else melts away

And you’re killing me slowly

From the inside-out

But it’s a sweet suffocation

And I’m loving every minute of it

And without you I am nothing

So come on, keep on destroying me

These are the happiest days of my life

---anonymous

they'll tell you that i'll change you,

but you've heard it all before,

they'll tell you just how bad i am,

makes you want to try me more.

some things just must be experienced,

some things just can't be explained,

i can show you things you've never seen before,

if you're willing to endure the pain.

you'll hurt yourself in the process,

and you'll hurt the ones you love,

but when the numbing sets in deep,

you'll be feeling ok,

better than you'd ever dream of.

but there's one more thing i haven't told you,

just one more thing you need to know,

once you let me in, and under your skin,

i promise i'll never let go.

i'll infatuate your mind, i'll infect your blood,

until you no longer know what is real,

i'll can take away your human emotion,

i promise you'll never have to feel.

i know what you've been looking for,

i can make you feel like a whole,

in return i ask for only one thing

all i want is your soul.

---Jesse

 

Darkness is everywhere

And so is light but darkness

cant bring happyness throughout

the night

---Marc