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A midsummer's nightmare
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She
gazed blankly at the night sky. The
starlit sight at her window was breath-taking but Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing
hardly noticed the view. A much more
preoccupying worry was on her mind.
Could it be true? Could that swine Enrico Maxwell
have been right? That by her folly, the
once proud Hellsing organization was a pale shadow of its former strength, an
antiquity that was no longer viable or required, a relic from the past that
would destroy itself with its own weakness?
Could
she make amends? Would it be in time?
She
sighed, frustrated by her seeming helplessness. This had truly been a trying year. First the damned Iscariot vaticans, then that blasted pair of
brothers Luke and Yan. And finally,
betrayal by the knights.
And
although Incognito had been destroyed, the price by Hellsing paid had been a
heavy one. Immediate danger was over
for now but the threat of future vampires like Incognito had not been
eradicated.
"I
messed up didn't I?" she wondered aloud.
She
felt weary, 40 years older than her actual 24 years. Her neck injuries had since healed, but the emotional scars of
betrayal and abandonment were still raw.
"I am getting old," she mused.
"I
did tell you to cut back on those damn cigars of yours."
Irritated
by the intrusion, she turned to the darkness in the corner of her room, her
blue eyes staring coldly. "I did
not ask your opinion on this matter Alucard.
And neither do I appreciate your habit of entering unannounced."
"Is
it too much to be asked to be given some time to be by myself?" she
wondered irritably.
Alucard
stepped out of the shadows smirking.
"Ah but my dear master, it is my duty to protect the leader of the
Hellsing organization at all times."
"Duty",
the words weighed heavily on her mind.
Integra blamed the whisky for making the mocking tone of his voice
uncontrollably unbearable. In spite of
herself, she felt her cheeks wet. Was
it her imagination or had the vampire displayed a momentary look of concern
instead of his usual mocking visage?
"Darn
glasses, I should get them checked.
They keep making me tear." Integra hoped that Alucard would accept
the feeble excuse, have his laugh and leave.
She was too tired to have to deal with Alucard's taunts.
In
more normal circumstances, the vampire would have been rewarded with a barrage
of well-chosen words instead. Perhaps
it was the uncharacteristic extra glass of whisky after dinner. Walter had expressed concern at her fatigued
state and had suggested that a little nightcap would possibly do her good.
"Apparently,
he forgot to make sure that Alucard was suitably occupied for the
evening," she thought to herself.
Silently, Integra made a mental note to speak to Walter about the matter
in the morning.
"Well
he did. But the police woman was more
than adequate for the job." Alucard walked slowly to her desk, never
taking his eyes off Integra.
"There were only one or two minor leftover freaks and I decided
that there were other things tonight that required my personal attention."
"Please
be on your way then," she remarked dryly.
"Ah
but I believe the matter involves you as well."
"My
business is nothing of interest to you Alucard, at least nothing that justifies
you being in my chambers at this hour.
And stop reading my thoughts."
Integra admonished her errant ally while avoiding eye contact. Tonight, she felt almost uneasy being in
close proximity with Alucard. Almost,
after all most humans would hardly feel at ease around a vampire who would not
bat an eyelash before ripping your guts out.
But not her, she was Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing. She was not afraid of Alucard. She could not. Her duty to her family name dictated that she could not entertain
petty emotions such as fear.
"Go
away Alucard. I am fine. I need to work."
"Duty?"
Alucard
lingered momentarily at the edge of her desk before planting himself on her
papers. She grimaced. If there was one thing Integra hated, it was
having her precious documents dog-eared.
"Get the hell off my documents!" she screeched. She raised
her arm instinctively.
Alucard
responded quickly. The next thing
Integra knew, she was lying on her back on her table. Papers flew everywhere aggravating her temper. "What the hell are you doing
Alucard?"
The
vampire smiled. "Sometimes master,
you need to be more honest about how you feel.
I need to talk and I need to talk now."
Their
eyes locked. Blue ice versus red
fire. Inches from the other. "What do you know?" she snarled. "The fallen men, they depended on me
and I've failed them. Innocent lives
lost due to my weakness."
"So? Only the weak depend on others. And as the fates dictate, only the strong
survive. You my master, have survived
and that's enough for us."
"They
were my ..."
"Duty? That word to you child is both your strength
and your weakness."
"Don't
call me a child."
"I
will call you a child as long as I please."
"Screw
you Alucard."
"Now
is that an order my master?"
"What?"
She
froze. What in the world was Alucard up
to?
"How
dare you. Leave now, at once."
Alucard
stared mockingly at her stubborn face.
"You know, scowls are hardly suitable for ladies. So what are you master if not a child, a
beautiful woman of steel? Or perhaps an
alluring white rose whose thorns would pierce all those drawn by her
beauty?"
"Get
out NOW!"
She
grimaced as the vampire's hold on her tightened.
"So
strong, yet so fragile. So beautiful
yet temporal. I offered you
immortality, and you refused it. I only
know of one other human who refused my generous offer. Hundreds have begged for it and yet I denied
them. Even the police woman was not
immune to the allure of immortality."
"I
will not mix my blood with the likes of your kind."
"And
yet you have no qualms about engaging my services."
She
struggled but it was futile. The
vampire was intent on not letting her go until he had the answers he was
seeking .
"I
watched you grow from that child who ran into my chambers a decade ago. I know you better than anyone else, perhaps
even better than you know yourself, master."
"Master?" The word never sounded as condescending as
it did tonight. Her partnership with
Alucard was a paradox from the start.
His reasons for serving the Hellsings were as known as his past. Had she really been a fool to trust Alucard
all this time?
"Well,
what is it master? What is it you
want? Or shall I help you discover your
heart's desire?"
"Keep
away from me. Walter ... will be
..."
"Holler
all you want master. There is no one in
this mansion but the two of us."
"What?"
"The
police woman will take at least two hours or more to finish with that little
mess and Walter has gone to check on another little incident on the outskirts
of London. And your men are on patrol 2
miles from him. Little phony vampire
sighting I'm afraid." Alucard grinned.
"What
do you want Alucard?"
"I
hate unfinished business. You have not
let me have an answer to my proposition."
"I
told you earlier, NO."
"But
your lips do not convey your true desires ... it disturbs me."
She
glared at him. She would have love to
wipe that smirk off his face but for the fact he had both her arms pinned above
her head.
"Unlike
you weak humans, I know what I want.
And we will discuss it now." Alucard's eyes narrowed dangerously.
She
glared harder. "Get away from me
or I'll ..."
"You'll
what? What can you do without me? You cannot hold me unless I choose to bind
myself. I will do as I please!"
Integra
screamed and kicked but in vain, as Alucard tore off her clothes. She had never felt fear as much as she did
tonight nor as helpless. She had not
been as afraid when captured by Incognito.
No, she was not even so afraid of Alucard. Integra feared herself the most.
Ashamed that part of her had actually wanted this ... the same part of
her that almost made her agree to Alucard's offer of dark immortality by his
side the night he made the offer.
Fatigue
against inhuman strength, master against servant, mortal against immortal. Conflicted versus determined. There could only be one outcome to this
struggle.
Surely
she would be humiliated. He knew her
weakness and despised her for it.
Beneath her steely facade, she was still that child of 13. Frighten and insecure. Would he rip her throat as he did her
pursuers 10 years ago?
For
the first time in 10 years, she did not fight the tears or the sobs that
erupted. The torrent of emotions
repressed through the years could no longer be held back. The heads of the Hellsing organization could
not show emotions. It was their duty to
the proud Hellsing name. She shut her
eyes tightly, expecting the inevitable.
Seconds passed ... Alucard's grip loosened. Draping his coat over her shivering shoulders, he walked to the
window.
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"I
cannot exist without you. I, who felt
for no one or nothing, have found meaning for existence in a beautiful white
rose. When I tried to pick her, her
thorns have pierced into my flesh and I cannot free myself from her
thorns. Yet she is mortal and I will be
doomed to live in regret forever when she has wilted.
If
only I could preserve that rose. Even
if it would revile her at first."
"Alucard,
I ..."
"I
cannot forgive myself. I remember how
he was about to hurt you. My foolish
pride to test my powers, my senseless quest for a 'worthy' adversary almost
cost me the only flower in my life."
Under
the cover of night, they were finally speaking as equals. Not as master and servant, but as a man and
a woman.
"Oh
my beautiful mortal white rose."
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She
stared at his moon bathed outline.
Words were useless at a time like this.
"Forgive
my disturbance of your rest master. I
have behaved badly tonight and it is most unbecoming. I will remain quietly by your side even if you see me as nothing
but an abomination."
A
million thoughts flashed through her mind.
Deep down, she knew her true feelings.
She wanted to be with Alucard, be like him if necessary. When he had sired Seras, she had felt an
unexplainable pang of envy and loss.
Despite appearances, she knew she could no longer deny the ironic truth
- She, the leader of Hellsing was hopelessly smitten with a vampire, a plague
she was sworn to wage war on. She had
denied her feelings all these years as she was a Hellsing. As Alucard had pointed out, her duty to the
Hellsing name had been her source of strength her whole life as well as her
burden.
Hellsing,
the family name never weighed so heavily before.
Suddenly
it all made sense. This night was so
crazy it had to be a dream. A slightly
mischievous smile crossed Integra's lips ... if it were a dream, then perhaps
she could do what she wanted for once.
Duty could go to "hell" tonight along with the Hellsing
name. She would probably regret her
impulse in the morning but she could deal with her guilt tomorrow.
Integra
walked up to Alucard and placed her arms around his waist. Bathed in moonlight, she leaned gently
against his back and sighed.
"I
wanted you so bad. Who would have known
that all I needed to do was to ask?"
Turning around, he pulled her closer. His long dark hair brushed lightly
against her body as he kissed the scar on her right arm. "Ahhh, the little memento from the time
we first met."
"Hmph,
you do still remember the scar ... I've hardly seen you much since Seras joined
us. You were too busy training her I
suppose. I ..." She paused. No, she was not going to admit to it. Well, not tonight.
"You
ordered me to train her." Alucard
grinned as he proceeded to continue his "ministrations". "Jealous?"
"Don't
flatter yourself."
Her
eyes fell on her shirt he had abandoned on the floor - under his boots. The buttons were definitely ruined.
"Damn
it Alucard, that was my favorite shirt."
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"I
haven't met a creature that infuriates and enchants me as much as you do in the
last hundred years Integra Hellsing."
"I'm
flattered but I bet you say this to all the frantic 13 year olds that run into
your chamber seeking refuge."
"And
how often do you go running into a vampire's chambers my little thorned
rose?"
"What
did you just call me?"
"My
little thorned rose. Or do you prefer
cactus?" Alucard was thoroughly enjoying himself.
"Oh
shut up."
"Make
me."
"Fine
I will." She pressed her mouth
against his, urgent but tender kisses which he returned with equal feverish
passion.
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Her
eyes fell on the blurred image of the clock humming comfortingly on her
desk. Morning? The curtains were drawn, making it difficult
to determine if it was indeed morning.
What an unbelievable dream she had last night. Feeling both relieved and guilty at her dismay that she was back
in the waking world, her thoughts were interrupted by Walter's brisk wake up
call.
"[Knock
knock] ...
Integra-sama,
are you alright? It's already 10 and I
believe you have a meeting at noon today.
Shall I prepare your breakfast?"
Her
mind still throbbing from the intensity of the dream the night before - or was
it the whisky, she tried
to focus her sight on the oak door (behind which was probably a rather
concerned Walter). "I'm fine
Walter. I just had a rough night. I'll be down in 5 minutes."
"Very
well Integra-sama. I will prepare the
necessary."
She
rubbed her temples. She felt hardly
rested. Her body was aching but she
felt strangely satisfied. Memories of
her wild "dream" brought a smile to Integra's lips as well a slight
tinge of guilt for having enjoyed it.
No,
wait a minute, dreams didn't leave one sore at all the strangest places did
they? Had she fallen asleep at her desk
before somehow fumbling to her bed in her working clothes in the middle of the
night?
She
reached for her glasses.
...
Panic
threatened to overwhelm her as Integra realized that she was not in her working
clothes, or any clothes for that matter.
Integra's mind began swirling, not that this was a common experience for
her.
Frantically
her eyes fell on the nearest thing – the smiling, unrepentant figure beside
her.
"What
the hell am I doing in bed with you?" she demanded as she felt the heat of
her cheeks rising. Her mortification
was not lessen by the realization that her companion's clothes were on her
floor and not on him. A pair of red
eyes glanced amusedly over her as the vampire replied with a wry grin,
"perhaps it takes a glass of whisky and a persistent vampire to discover
the truth, my little thorned rose?"
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Walter
who was about to lay the finishing touches on the breakfast table, was startled
by the loud uncharacteristic scream from the 3rd floor bedroom.
Fury?
Shock or a totally different emotion?
Goodness, was Integra being attacked?
Ghouls? But it was morning! Surely it wasn't a new form that was
impervious to light?
Despite
his famed nerves of steel, the faithful butler was not in the least prepared
for the sight that met him when he broke down the door.
- the end -
27-07-2002
kit
~ Usual caveats, this was written for fun and not for profit (well not
really). I don't own any copyright over
the characters. Go bother someone else
if you have the time and money. Author
is not repentant or responsible for nerves that may be frayed or permanently
damaged by a reading of this story.
And
yeah I know, the behavior of the abovementioned characters are somewhat
outta-line for Hellsing purists. Well
uhm ... sorry *shrugs* ... Not recommended for kids, well the rules of the game
was that there had to be a deflowering of Alucard's little white rose right?