Rolling Stone magazine
November 12, 1998
It's good that America has someone else to scrutinize, take apart, invade. I think he's the first president since J.F.K. who has had any sort of excitement going on behind the scenes. I think he's done a good job for the country, and I think there's no reason why he shouldn't be getting laid just like a rock star would. Do they have backstage passes for the Oval Office? Did Monica Lewinsky have to sleep her way to the president? Go through the tour manager first? It's a good question. I don't think he deserves to be impeached; but if he does get impeached, he always has a job with me. He can be my tour manager, test-drive the girls for me.
Actually, I don't really know if he's been doing a good job as president, because -- to be honest with you -- I haven't even been paying attention. I don't think most of America's youth really cares half the time who the president is. As long as he doesn't fuck anything up too much, then I think everyone's happy, because nobody notices until someone makes a mistake, and being that his mistake was something as silly as this, I think everyone is pretty happy. I don't even consider it a mistake. In fact, according to the rules of my book, blow jobs are right there with handshakes and autographs as part of the job. It's like kissing babies.
That's why he's still popular: Everybody likes blow jobs. You can't hate him for it. It's part of life. I think it's more comforting to know that the president can get an erection. I wouldn't want an impotent president. That's someone who's more dangerous, because that's someone who'd have a chip on his shoulder and he's going to be more likely to push that button.
It's all become one giant ad for Viagra. Because the big man in charge is brandishing an erection like a wild man with a sword, I think it encourages all other men across America. If they can't get one, they're going to have to buy one.
But the whole business is really about pseudomorality. It gives all the conservative people someone to point their fingers at, and it keeps them in business, and it keeps them able to raise funds to stop people like him and to stop people like me. It's always about someone else trying to look good by pointing the finger at someone they think is bad. Ken Starr seems like he's probably sitting at home jacking off to all of his little papers that he writes. He seems like a dirty little freak. I think his motivation in all of this is masturbation material. Notoriety and masturbation material. Though it's speculation, as you were silly enough to ask me. Am I going to get assassinated now?
