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You know you are a true Greek when:
1) You respond to Rai or Morei.
2) You consider a koboloi to be a stress reliever.
3) Your parents believe that there is a conspiracy behind
everything.
4) Your mother gets vicious on Jehovah Witnesses.
5) You bring your Greek flag to WWF event.
6) You know the Greek version of Ms. Cleo; she can tell you your
future from the bottom of a coffee cup.
7) You have been so bored in church that you have imagined being
Luke Skywalker with your labatha and that the priest was Darth
Vader.
8) Fakais help fuel up your house in the winter.
9) Your luggage smells like: oregano, ouzo, figs, kefalotiri, loukoumia etc. It is also wrapped with string.
10) You have raised booze money by singing the kalanda.
11) Survivor and Big Brother are a joke after having spent a summer
in the Horio.
12) You know that there is no mouthwash or toothpaste strong enough
to conquer tzatziki.
13) You know that in Greece taxi driver means tour guide.
14) Your family argues over: Pasok vs. Nea Demokratia,
Olympiakos vs. Panathinaikos, sheep vs.
goats, feta vs. kefalotiri, land vs. money, etc.
15) The closest you have come to winning the lottery is finding the
flori in the Vasilopita.
16) You know that the term "Car Pool" in Greece means 3 on a donkey.
17) Somebody calls out your name at a family gathering and 5 people
respond.
18) Your father still has Greek 8-Track tapes and a player.
19) Your parents know "Horiatika Martial Arts" they are trained
with such moves as:
the traditional skabeelee", the always dangerous "anapothee",
the "sto dialo sfaliara" and the
torture techniques, which involve the pulling of the ears or
sideburns.
20) Your parents are also trained to use weapons such as: The
"kolo killing koutala", the
"flying padofla", the "lethal loureeda" and let's not forget a
classic: The "vicious vairga".
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