One of the Most Important Principles You'll Ever Learn!!
So why do I have you focus on these aspects of your life?
It's not easy to describe in one web page, but I'll give it a brief try.
Beliefs, values, wants, and spirituality are important because
they are the basis of all your emotions. You evaluate everything
that happens by comparing actuals to hypotheticals
("here's what I believe, want, value, expect to happen").
For example, if you hold the belief that people are unfair, then you are likely
to get treated unfairly in interpersonal interactions. You might just be waiting for the
slightest sign of unfairness so that you can cry "foul play!". You might want fairness
badly, but when you see it eluding you once again, you're likely to be even more frustrated, sad,
and discouraged that you're not experiencing it. So the comparison between actual experience
and hypothetical experience (the "shoulds") creates the emotions you feel. Small differences
lead to conclusions of success; large differences lead to conclusions
of failure, and possibly helplessness and hopelessness.
If you believe that people are cooperative, then you're much more likely
to interact with a cooperative attitude, which can
initiate others to act cooperatively--even though they might not already
have the habit of acting cooperatively. You can model behaviors
that you would like to see in others, and they will reflect that back to you.
When you see actual experiences happening the way you expect, you are reinforced
and you gain energy and positive emotions from your comparisons.
Self-Empowerment
Once you have clarified your beliefs and wants, and how important each is
relative to the others,
it's time to determine what knowledge & skills you need in order to
attain your wants--while living in accordance with your beliefs and values.
This part of my life re-design process is incredibly rewarding,
because you can take some genuine wants and begin determine
how to make them a reality in your life. Even the smallest skill-building
and application of those skills toward achievement is downright thrilling.
And the change from stuckness to progress is something that can propel you
to ever-increasing upward spirals in your life. It's not long before you've
overcome downward spirals in your life, like depression or anxiety or
many other self-defeating behaviors.
Self-Esteem
If you live your most heart-felt beliefs, and are seeing progress toward
your most valued/important wants, you'll increase your self-esteem.
People who don't do this, usually end up striving hard in other areas of their lives
but then feel dissatisfied, hollow, confused, perhaps eventually hopeless.
I can't stress how important--and satisfying--it is to live your beliefs
and strive toward what you genuinely want in life. Doing this brings lasting joy.
