The Duties and Responsibilities of a Canadian Citizen

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  1. To actually enjoy hockey games.
  2. To add ", eh?" to the end of every third sentence.
  3. To own a house and buy a car.
  4. To buy a Stompin' Tom Connors record.
  5. To have suffered from frostbite on at least one occasion.
  6. To truly hate Americans.
  7. To say "Thank you" to a bank's automated teller machine.
  8. To be offended by Monty Python's Lumberjack sketch.
  9. To be unsure how to spell "colour" and "realize".
  10. To watch Due South.

I made this list for a boss at work. While he was attending the ceremony to become a Canadian citizen, we pinned the list to his office wall along with a gift of a Canadian flag.

A few minutes after he and his wife returned from the ceremony, she came into my office. "He doesn't know who Stompin' Tom Connors is. I'm going to report him."

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