this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don't warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems  index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page

audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed   !

sepehr   writes

if there is no bottom turtle, doesn't that mean there is a holographic aspect to reality, considering one property of holograms is they are infinitely divisible ?

my

r e p l y

sepehr, the problem with  “ declarative memory ”  is it is also  “ declarative memory ”  as is  “ the brain ” ,  you are not parsing anything in a usefully meaningful way !

sepehr ,  you have become increasingly schizophrenic and have a fundamental cognitive  “style”  problem with a lack of reality and consistency testing as well as not moving what you propose through several different contexts to cross reference for a broader view of consistency !

sepehr ,  you have become increasingly schizophrenic and have a fundamental cognitive  “style”  problem with a lack of reality testing with what you think you have worked out !

there seems to be a  consistent  message about the need to phase off  blue light sources in the evening  .  .      study

“ vitamin D plays a major role  in preventing the inflammation  that leads to type 2 diabetes and atherosclerosis ”

men were most  attracted  to images of women exhibiting the hypothesized optimum of  45  degrees of lumbar  curvature 

this spinal structure would have enabled pregnant women to balance their weight over the hips, these women would have been more effective at foraging during pregnancy and less likely to suffer spinal injuries

sepehr   w r i t e s

I really don't think the view the brain stores  ‘declarative memory’  is healthy

my

sepehr, the usual net opinionist takes a notion like  “ declarative memory ” and says xyz going forward using it as a base which is what you are doing !

real philosophy and inquiry deconstructs the notion of what it is, pulls it apart to see if there is anything to it, and if it can be saved from the way it is used, reconstructed into something useful that sheds light and doesn't hide it !

my concern about the notion of   “declarative memory”  is the irresolvability of different visionary experiences, that the contemplative tableaux does not exist as one synchronous stream view but people can have different visionary takes, a lot quite untrue !

this is like this issue of parallelism, non identity with infinity that purports identity !

that singularities are a fiction, and condensing continuities are what it is about !

so i think your notion of  “declarative memory” ties in with  “singularity”  which is the usual religious voynich like approaching god through the abatement of self, but in practice it doesn't work that way and really from many years of looking at this have advanced minimally further in getting any sort of coherent understanding about the issues !

as usual you  delete  your best post !

----------------------

sepehr posted

I bare fangs towards Infinity ! This constant deconstruction is not one worthy of love. I will not be crucified by this endless charade...

I will be the crucifier to the totality of all existent, to Infinite!

I shall become the star child that screams and makes all of reality shatter.

----------------------

see what it is when reality is deconstructed  i n f i n i t y  a p p e a r s  . . . !

it's this knowledge of infinity and identity with infinity is all that matters

it is

love

beauty

everything including this world will have ceased and you are thrust back into the meaningless /meaning ! :o)

not necessarily a positive thing btw ! :o)

sepehr g.  writes

Some more good    quotes

I need to read Derrida more...

it's awesome.  I want to be able to get a handle with Derridean deconstructive dialectics.

my

r e p l y

sepehr g.  writes

i don't understand ...

what am i thrust into if i do  “get it”  instead?

does it make any difference whether i am enlightened of infinity or not ?  does it change what i thrusted into after the world has ceased ?

my

enlightened or unenlightened it doesn't matter . .  the only difference is that   “ enlightened ”  you understand what is happening to you, that is if you don't have dementia or have become senile . .  !

the sages have always said th i s !

reincarnation is no n s e n s e  . .

this one life is all we have  . .

some glimpses of infinity is al l  w e   g e t  !  . .

r  those feet  crippled   [2:18]  ?

will getting older reveal too high a price has been paid  ?

manic   !    :  0  ) 

sepehr   a s k s

what's your opinion on catholicism ?  they seem to value solitude in natural scenery and celibacy.  I was thinking about trying it out and possibly become a pope one of these days

my

the problem is, that unless you are brought up in it, the belief system is too crazy

sepehr  replies    to

andrew, I feel like there's something you're getting at, but I need solitude in order to tacitly apprehend it.  I feel close, but not to the point where it totally clicks ...  it does a little though ...  it feels very deconstructive, but I'm not sure what to make out of it or whether I should feel compelled to make anything out of it ...  I don't know ... 

I do agree with you on the importance of celibacy and solitude in natural scenery.  I had an argument with someone recently where I tried to explain its benefits

I said :  “ I think for good religious poetry being celibate for long-stretches of time and daily solitude in natural scenery are typically necessary ”

he said :  “ no, that's paying undue attention to externals.  if you can't pull it off while having sex every day and hanging out in busy shopping centers, it isn't really religious. the immanence of Non-Being is basically constant penetration, exhaustive climaxes and crisp white brooks brothers shirts bought in crowded department stores ”

how should I respond to do that in order to deconstruct or whatever ?

my

r e p l y

“ the immanence of Non-Being is basically constant penetration, exhaustive climaxes and crisp white brooks brothers shirts bought in crowded department stores ’

that's immanence by the exclusion of Non-Being !

the world is full of hubric nutters like that claiming god or infinity is the inclusion of reality when in fact the world and thus them is exclusion

since they are exclusion and their very existance is dependent on their crazy nutty misperception, how can one expect any sort of cognitive coherence !

( i'm sounding a bit like dogen ! :o)

that celibacy/ natural scenery/solitude and contemplative space is alien to these people so they just rush blindly o n  . .

the real question is how can you integrate that into your life instead of spilling your time fruitlessly into argument and half done explanations the way you are doing  . .  ?

the other thing is to bear in mind that it's avery long process, you don't have to rush in to have an opinion, wait for things come to you formed of their own accord s o m e w h a t ! : o ) (

be disengaged from the world and people or everything just ends up in endless reddit or hardcore zen blog fights ! :o)

“ the immanence of Non-Being is basically constant penetration, exhaustive climaxes and crisp white brooks brothers shirts bought in crowded department stores ’

that's immanence by the exclusion of Non-Being !

the world is full of hubric nutters like that claiming god or infinity is the inclusion of reality when in fact the world and thus them is exclusion

since they are exclusion and their very existance is dependent on their crazy nutty misperception, how can one expect any sort of cognitive coherence !

( i'm sounding a bit like dogen ! :o)

that celibacy/ natural scenery/solitude and contemplative space is alien to these people so they just rush blindly o n  . .

the real question is how can you integrate that into your life instead of spilling your time fruitlessly into argument and half done explanations the way you are doing  . .  ?

the other thing is to bear in mind that it's avery long process, you don't have to rush in to have an opinion, wait for things come to you formed of their own accord s o m e w h a t ! : o ) (

be disengaged from the world and people or everything just ends up in endless reddit or hardcore zen blog fights ! :o)

you just have to slow down a bit, be more cautious !  . .  !  . . .  ?

you just have to slow down a bit, be more cautious !

you just have to slow down a bit, be more cautious

sepehr, you are not teasing stuff open enough, you are doing typical web plastering !

sepehr g.   w r i t e s

but you say the importance of nutrition and stuff ...  I mean if nutrition is so important then doesn't that mean the physical/biological reality is one aspect of the bottom turtle ?  the bottom turtle however must interact with other turtles of course, but there is a bottom otherwise nutrition and health wouldn't be important

maybe the whole dichotomy between top and bottom turtle is wrong ?  nutrition and celibacy are all important, but the point is to get how all these turtles interact in a looping kinda way to give rise to the experience of Now and ever-after or so?

I mean why emphasize on there being no bottom turtle while also embracing diet & nutrition and celibacy ... ?  what is this physical/biology a reflection of that is supposedly deeper ?

my

r e p l y

there's a couple of different ways you can look at this !

one is that philosophical greats like heraclitus  (and poetic greats like john of the cross and keats)  had a very wrong minded view of the universe and biological reality compared to what we have now and really has only come into existance in the last hundred years . .

so this sort of wrongness and by implication rightness is irrelevant ! . . !

the very correctness and sophistication of current cosmology and brain biology is deceiving, it creates the illusion of a bottom turtle, but the reality is just process and endless approximation

for as long the human/ other intelligent life scientific knowledge base and process exists you will get an improving refinement and also catastrophic realignments of coherence . .

everything is insufficient, there is just this process of new insight and correction, same with nutrition and celibacy . . .

no bottom turtle, but endless turtles everywhere in  a l l  d i r e c t i o n s

“ what is this physical/biology a reflection of that is supposedly deeper ? ”

the hunting of the snark ! :o ) (

sepehr, please make your own blog to paste this  bullshit  on !

you are cognitively slack, half arsed stuff you don't work out properly and then cut and paste together ending up with the usual web bullshit !

no wonder you prefer to post to the idiots on r/philosophy and the hardcore zen blog !

you have taken a short cut, assuming the bottom turtle is physical/biological reality and just paste onto that schema assuming it is the bottom turtle, which if it was the bottom turtle would be viable, but as the turtles are endless which is the true nature of infinity, all your cognitive shortcuts are doing is making for endless crap !

a good article on cognitive  short cuts

quality   philosophy  !

you also have some borderline personality traits like not giving a shit about the burden you impose on other people !

these things take time to work through, i really have no advice except if you think what you write is up to par then you should be doing it on your own blog . .

the big give away that people on these boards know unconciously what they write is crap is they make no attempt to set up their own voice, but just rely on throwing bullshit into the reddit or hardcore zen blog sewer and assume that is validation !

true philosophy is not to assume any bottom turtle . . .

“ based on recent studies, anything that takes your  attention  away, any glance away from the road for two seconds or longer can increase the risk of an accident from four to  24  times

...  ‘ hands - free ’  cell phones are really no safer than a hand - held cell phone.  the real distraction appears to be the driver talking to someone who is not in the car, a distant voice who's oblivious to the freeway traffic jam

...  the absolute worst risk is texting on a cell phone, which is a whole group of distractions.  with texting, you're doing something besides driving, thinking about something besides driving, and looking at the wrong thing

one study has equated texting on a cell phone equivalent to driving drunk ”

pseudomonas  aeruginosa

however i just put savlon on and then a plaster

b u t

four days days later it still hurt more than it should have and was tender if pressed on

i noticed a sliver of some bright green - blue colouring characteristic of pseudomonas aeruginosa actually in the c u t  !

this was worrying since this bacteria if it can get to the bone and the cut/gash/slash may actually have gone to the bone, then you can get osteomyelitis  . .  !

t h a t ' s  a  f u c k e r ! :  o      (

so what i did was intensify some  35%    hydrogen peroxide   up to  45% ?  by leaving a bottle top full to evaporate over several days, this stuff is super strong and very painful !

i then dug through the callus to expose the flesh in the cut and put some of this  “ super intense ”  hydrogen peroxide in, no pain to start, but then it started to roll on for hours which is unusual, could even feel a tendon stretching longways along the sole of the foot hurting

the whole big toe hurt for hours and hours . . .

about three days later it seems to be better ,  time will show ,  but maybe by putting on this intense hydrogen peroxide ,  with it's effective immune and autoimmune action ,  i could have saved my self from a serious infection  !

sepehr ,  you  (ed.  as samsarichelicoid)  have been decoyed into fighting the troops on the hardcore  zen blog ,  why not take on brad directly ?

in fact you will have trouble coping with him because you are still not addressing the basic issue that you haven't put either the years or contemplative time in . .

in effect you are pretty much on the same level as the troops !

anyway taking brad on will up your game, if you argue with morons, what in the end does that make one ?

knowing everything leaves you helpless ! ?

is that because it's an ongoing process that requires the uncoupling of yourself ?

you can't go forwards or backwards or sideways because the knowledge acquired is going forwards sideways and backwards ! :o)

knowing everything leaves you helpless ! ?

is that because it's an ongoing process that requires the constant uncoupling of yourself ?

knowing everything leaves you helpless ! ?

is that because it's an ongoing process that requires the uncoupling of yourself ?

knowing everything leaves you helpless ! ?

knowing everything leaves you helpless !

knowing everything leaves you helpless

everything's clear until you look more closely !

: o ( )

everything's clear until you look more closely !

everything's clear until you look more closely

everything's clear until you look closer !

a good collection of joshu /zhaozhou congshen    exchanges

a monk asked,  “ what is the buddha’s true experience of reality ? ”

joshu said,  “ is there anything else you don’t like ? ”

a monk asked,  “ what is an idiot ? ”

joshu said,  “ i’m not as good as you ”

the monk said,  “ i’m not trying to be anything ”

joshu said,  “ why are you being an idiot ? ”

joshu said,  “ i can make one blade of grass a sixteen foot golden buddha, and i can make a sixteen foot gold buddha into one blade of grass. buddha is compulsive passions. compulsive passions are buddha ”

a monk asked,  “ how can compulsive passions be escaped ? ”

joshu said,  “ what’s the use of escaping ? ”

a monk asked,  “ what if the three-pronged sword of wisdom has not yet fallen ? ”

joshu said,  “ densely packed together ”

the monk asked,  “ what about after it has fallen ? ”

joshu said,  “ wide open spaces ”

a monk asked,  “ what is the fact that i accept responsibility for ? ”

joshu said,  “ to the ends of time you’ll never single it out ”

a doctor asked,  “ does an accomplished person go to hell or not ? ”

joshu said,  “ i cut in at the head of the line ”

the doctor asked,  “ you are a great person. why do you go to hell ? ”

joshu said,  “ if i had not gone, how could i have met you here ? ”

a monk asked,  “ what is the perfect question ? ”

joshu said,  “ wrong ! ”

a monk asked,  “ what are honest words ? ”

joshu said,  “ your mother is ugly ”

a monk asked,  “ two mirrors are facing each other. which is the clearest ? ”

joshu said,  “ your eyelids hang over mount sumaru ”

a monk said,  “ i don’t have a special question. please don’t give a special reply ”

joshu said,  “ how extraordinary ”

joshu and an official were walking the the garden and saw a rabbit run away

the official said,  “ you are a great person. why did the rabbit run away ? ”

joshu said,  “ because i like to kill ”

a monk asked,  “ what is the unending depth of the deep ? ”

joshu said,  “ your questioning me is the unending depth of the deep ”

or alternatively

“ what depth of the deep should I talk about, the seven of seven or the eight of eight ? ”

some attempts at getting an adequate passport photo that didn't work ! :o)(

like something out from the mock turtles education . .

michael d.  hull  left zen after 14 years  in it  and now works as a cook and server at the travelers thali house in seattle !

his   rupture   poem

not ahappy chappy ! :o(

i think it became apparent to him that financially zen is a dead horse, it cannot support married/ in relationship monastics, he was a step above the others but still an  apologist ,  who is going to pay for that crap when the world is just awash in  “ spiritual drivel ”  !  : o)(

zakaj     w r i t e s

in any case, I do not really care about how it is for the others

I came to realize something quite mind-shattering that is, you were right when you said this spiritual matter is solipsistic

in a way one cannot begin to process reality properly without taking a solipsist stance... it is either solipsism or the society, the meanings that are useful for society

and thus her life  passed ,  though she did wonder occasionally if despite all the self congratulatory clichés whether it really was a life worth living ?

the nullabour has some wonderful views over the cliffs and ocean, there's one outlook that sorta draws you to want to fly and jump off

i had a friend travelling independently years later with no knowledge of my own experience tell me the same thing ! :o)(

zakaj’s   d re a m s

I have two, possibly three visions, that I carry all my life, and I don't know what to do with them.  The strange this is that they persist.  I feel as if they are  " dreams I had as a child ".  But I Don't know if that is really the case.  The strange thing is  -  that I don't remember much about my childhood... very little.  I'm the most childhood-amnesiac person I know.  Most of the memories I have from my childhood are false, retroactively constructed from photographs.  Anyway, these two dreams, or visions, are following me wherever I go.  I do not understand them, nor why I Forget everything but not those two dreams.  It seems as if they are older than me.  As if I dreamed them even before I was born.

One is a feeling that I am adopted, and I see another phantom house next to my parents house. And I go to our balcony and I climb to the balcony of that other house.  And I see them dining inside, and I am so happy to know they are my real family, but I also feel bad about abandoning my "adoptive" parents since after all, they cared for me etc.  I know for certain I am not adopted in the real life, I resemble my sisters a lot, everyone says that... I think that dream even compelled me to leave Slovenia and seek life in exotic places, like East Asia.

The other dream is even stranger and I cannot even properly describe it... it is a neighbour  (a real neighbour, now deceased, who had a speech impediment) ... he is standing in the middle of the street  (the same street my parent's house is located)  and pointing to a rain puddle . . . .

What are these things, these meaningless dreams that structure our existence ?

Is it clues we left for ourselves before we chose to forget  (what we are) ?  Before we jumped in the river Lethe, the river of oblivion?

i don't know

these are like personal myths

the third one is much darker, and it feels like it comes after those two  (logically or chrono-logically, I Don't know)

it is a gruesome monster of unspeakable ugliness that produces the most terrifying screeching noise, and then there is a very attractive blonde curvy woman, like a porn star, and she is tearing meat from her labia and feeding it to the monster, however she doesn't seem to be suffering, but perversely enjoying

my  reply

those are good dreams / visions ! :o)

your neighbour astutely indentified your issue with limiting yourself to a puddle when you should be walking the shore of a sea

you are a phantom btw . .

an autistic half presence with a foot in the ocean that prefers the puddle . . .

harry dean stanton   reading   ‘ the bluebird ’  by charles bukowski !

interesting ,  i have both good hair and teeth !

roll on those superior epithelial keratins ! :o)

“ functional analyses revealed that mutations in hair keratins result in altered enamel structure and reduced enamel micro-hardness ”

sepehr g.   writes

tithonos should have hugged the earth and given up on   eos

he doesn't need to chase eos and can find more solace cultivating the fields, playing music, and writing poetry

my

the whole point was that he was captured by eos !

wow... Time is inherently non-differentiable and   recursive

my

laurent nottale is interesting, i think he is talking about the compound  ‘ space - time ”  which is his relativistic viewpoint, oddly you have to get into loop quantum gravity to get a more compartmentalized/discrete notion of time !

----------------------

see what is time ?

is time a mutation of space or is space a mutation of time or are both the shallower reflectives  (emergents !)  of some deeper substrate ?

what turtle does the deeper substrate sit on ! :o)

sepehr   replies/  a s k s

my

“ meaning is a fluid ”  leave the definite for the indefinite, it's much more malleable ,  you are just building failed crystalline geometries . .

sepehr g.  writes

Time is inherently non-differentiable and recursive

my

sepehr g.  writes

time is inherently non-differentiable and recursive

a rather fascinating poem  (ed. fragment 58)  by sappho to the effect that love can't save us from getting older even though we hope it does ! :o)

i bring the beautiful gifts of the violet lapped muses, girls,

and I love that song lover, the sweet-toned lyre

my skin was silken before, but now old age

my feelings slough;  knees graunch

for they say that rosy-armed dawn in love

a rather fascinating poem  (ed. fragment 58)  by sappho to the effect that love can't save us from getting older even though we hope it does ! :o)

i bring the beautiful gifts of the violet lapped muses, girls,

and I love that song lover, the sweet-toned lyre

my skin was silken before, but now old age

my feelings slough;  knees graunch

for they say that rosy-armed dawn in love

how do women look on men ?

as childish buffoons !

how do women look on men ?

as childish buffoons

how do women look on men

as childish buffoons

how do men look at women ?

how do men look at women ?

as being slightly or very mad fountains spraying indiscriminately everywhere

how do men look at women

as being slightly or very mad fountains spraying indiscriminately everywhere

how do men look at women ?

how do men look at women ?

as being slightly or very mad fountains spraying inconveniently everywhere

how do men look at women

as being slightly or very mad fountains spraying inconveniently everywhere

how do men look at women ?

how do men look at women ?

as being slightly or very mad fountains spraying everywhere

how do men look at women

as being slightly or very mad fountains spraying everywhere

how do women look at men ?

as childish buffoons !

how do women look at men ?

as childish buffoons

how do women look at men

as childish buffoons

it hurts to be treated unfairly by life  what does that mean  ?

it hurts to be treated unfairly by life  what does that mean

it hurts to be treated badly by life  what does that mean ?

it hurts to be treated badly by life  what does that mean

i think it means that there must be a perspective in which life's random outcomes and discontinuities appear perfectly normal

i think it means that there must be a perspective in which life's random outcomes and discontinuities appear perfectly normal !

i think it means that there must be a perspective in which life's random outcomes and discontinuities appear perfectly normal !

what does that mean ?

it hurts to be treated unfairly by life  what does that mean  ?

it hurts to be treated unfairly by life  what does that mean

it hurts to be treated badly by life  what does that mean ?

it hurts to be treated badly by life  what does that mean

i think it means that there must be a context in which life's random outcomes and discontinuities appear perfectly normal

i think it means that there must be a context in which life's random outcomes and discontinuities appear perfectly normal !

i think it means that there must be a context in which life's random outcomes and discontinuities appear perfectly normal !

what does that mean ?

it hurts to be treated unfairly by life  what does that mean  ?

it hurts to be treated unfairly by life  what does that mean

it hurts to be treated badly by life  what does that mean ?

it hurts to be treated badly by life  what does that mean

rm1

rs2

rs3

well drained pasta  loses  some of the allergens compared to baked products ?

or is it a more digestive  resistant  form of starch compared to bread with its partial process of enzymatic action by yeast ?

a reddit meditation post

I stopped drinking a few weeks back but am finding sober life less enjoyable

I'm by no means an alcoholic, but before I had been regularly drinking throughout the week. daydrinking mostly, keeping a light buzz through the day.

My diet is very clean and I do 0 drugs not even caffeine.

Several weeks ago I decided to cut down to exactly one bottle of wine just on the weekend, and I'd say I definitely prefer drinking to not drinking.

So I guess my question is what is so bad about boozing?

I always hear about how bad it is on your system but I don't feel any more clearheaded or lucid or anything since cutting down.

I was also a more enjoyable person to be around.

Would cutting my booze intake to 0 make a significant difference from having a little drink on the weekends like I do now?

my

3/4  of a standard glass a day is better

i add it to cooking !

the secret is red wine freezes really well to a handable slush so you can get  11  or so days out of a bottle !

the health benefits work the other way once you go more than a glass a day !

the problem with shingles is that because there's no wild virus in circulation because of vaccines, we  (who caught chickenpox naturally)  don't get the constant immune stimulation necessary to keep it at bay !

i find there's a lot you can do to   avoid   outbreaks . .

i remember a meeting or discussion in the main sitting room at springwater and there was young girl there along with her mother? and it was interesting as the only young person there, that the discussion sort of revolved around her  . .

after the meeting finished and we walked out the door i remember  toni  packer making some catty remark about this ..

just today i realised she was hurt by the lack of her own biological child . . a sort of wound always  d r i v i n g  h e r  o n w a r d s  i n  t h e  f r u i t l e s s  t a s k  s p r i n g w a t e r  w a s  / i s  f o r  h e r

i'm starting to think that  “occupation”   is    meaningless     ! 

a  reply  by jason defonte

I read an article last night on a woman who dated charles bukowski for a year

she said he had this extreme center about him, an energy, and as she was lying next to him she hovered her hand over his center and felt a warmth or as she also explained some sort of energy

I've been acting like a real woman these last couple of years

I want to man up

this girl who I've had a sort of crush on since 4th grade called me  "such a girl"  one night when we were fighting

It's true I act like a little bitch I'm ashamed

one of my bosses has trained  MMA  style fighting for 40 years.  his hands are classified as deadly weapons, but he's never fought professionally because he's scared of brain damage.  might ask him to teach me how to fight

my

jason, women think acting like a woman is the preferred way of being and they have a contempt for men as childish !

you may not have been wrong to  avoid richard hart ,  i suspect with all his illness that he would be a   viral shedder   !

there certainly is a gravity to charles bukowski, he does a cameo role in  “ barfly ’  and literally the whole scene moves around him, even though it is just a bit part !

all the new research is showing that even mild concussion causes brain damage and those in college and professional body contact sports teams are the walking dead, you have a very intelligent boss !

two    poems   by amanda baggs

spectrolite eulogy

spectrolite looks brown

but shines rainbow colors when

the light hits it right

you were plain brown rock with

hidden colors no one saw

goodbye father

I dropped a rock

into the world’s deepest lake

turned and walked away

until I dropped that rock

never had I said goodbye

a line from a  poem  by anna baggs !

“ so many laughs shared they echo inside me like a brook’s water over rounded stones ”

rather    exceptional playing    !

“ the tree of life ”  misses the mark, too indebted  (read plagiarizing)  of tarkovsky and malik at 68 was too old, for one thing he needed the sort of special effects that melancholia had ! :o)(

jason  dafonte     a s k s

andrew what do you think of this  guy  ?

he's the head of the zen center closest to me. when i went there what i found strange is that every attendant went into dokusan with him.

what he asked me in dokusan was  “how does this stick have buddha nature ? ”  and that was it.

i didn't know how to respond so i just stayed silent.

he carries around this old stick . .

my

i looked at a couple of videos of him, quite liked his talks, gave me something to think about, it's not people who are the same as you who useful, but people who are different and have a different take on things !

that koan is a waste of time, it's not his strength, but i quite like his practical approach to living  . . .

typical zen tho, his health, dialysis was mentioned in one video so perhaps he has kidney problems !

anyway he has something to offer, just don't get stuck in where he is screwed up which is formalism and abstract thinking, but the other side, the practical i think he has something to offer ! :o)

just sit shikantaza and don't spill your soul to them, they don't want to know and don't want the involvement anyway, zen  (what zen is about !)  is really only self taught . .  which is why charles bukowski is ahead of any zen master while knowing nothing /very little about it, all self taught ! :o)

the trick is to keep picking stuff up as you move along, like your request /post has helped me, i found this guy helps with some weak spots of mine, which is sorta putting one's nose to the grindstone of doing necessary stuff in the here and now ! :o)

----------------------

ok i found this  video  with him talking about his stick which he identifies as male and the whisk as female, there's some different ways you could handle that in interview, but his basic point is correct, it's the combination of male and female that drives the development process in terms of what zen is about !

what i would say about  parmenides  is this ,  to the extent he's a non -singularity-ist ,  he is correct ,  to the extent he's a non- existance denialist he's  i n c o r r e c t   !  :  o ()  .  . ) . . (

we may think that things keep still, but the winds of change always blow !

we may think that things keep still, but the winds of change keep blowing ! : o(

we may think that things are still, but the winds of change keep blowing ! : o(

since the question is itself conciousness, it is voynich and no wonder it gives rise to so much meaningless drabble ! :o)

the beauty of works like  ‘ alice in wonderland ”  is they parse the recursion intrinsic in such a problem meaningfully

so that's what creative work is about, parsing meaningfully while the cretinous hogs which is most of humanity when it tries to think just wallow in excrement tainted mud !

what r u doing trying to  “ purify ”  the mud ! ?

one needs to switch from being a  “consumer”  to creator, have you ever thought of getting involved in film making ?

xyz  asks

hope you are well maybe a reply with some content would be nice if you can manage

my

lol, content from my contentless life ? ! :o)

two  ‘  visions ’  recently ,  one of which i understand ,  the other i don’t

the first myself ?  as a fly?  fisherman?  on the bank of a river with many  (dark green and other hues and tints)  leaves in the style of a van gogh/monet/manet stroked right full across the view of the scene of the fisherman in amongst the trees who may or may not actually have been fishing but had some rod like implement in his hand  .  .

and the second which occurred just this evening and is a theme i have often thought on, islamic stone carving  ,  so much work by stone masons lying disused/broken/abandoned in the desert sand  .  .  .

so i saw this longish carving half buried in sand  (possibly dull red like some tasmanian/australian soil can be)  and i know this was like my writing and work, just a meaningless disused emptiness consigned to oblivion ,  shocking enough to make me wonder what i was bothering for  _   .   .  .

two  ‘  visions ’  recently ,  one of which i understand ,  the other i don’t

the first myself ?  as a fly?  fisherman?  on the bank of a river with many  (dark green and other hues and tints)  leaves in the style of a van gogh/monet/manet stroked right full across the view of the scene of the fisherman in amongst the trees who may or may not actually have been fishing but had some rod like implement in his hand  .  .

and the second which occurred just this evening and is a theme i have often thought on, islamic stone carving ,  so much work by stone masons lying disused/broken/abandoned in the desert sand  .  .  .

so i saw this longish carving half buried in sand  (possibly dull red like some tasmanian/australian soil can be)  and i know this was like my writing and work, just consigned to some meaningless/valueless emptiness ,  shocking enough to make me wonder what i was bothering for  _   .   .  .

jon   w r i t e s

What goes into a poem I’m having trouble with this  .  .  .

When you write it is it already formed fully such as you know which words to use and it all floats out effortlessly or is there some thinking involved where you decide which words to use ?

waking from an afternoon nap lawn mower droning in the distance sunlight seeping through the window dust revealed floating

Like this I did some thinking about it, which words to use in some parts but I'm mainly just relaying what happened not trying to think of what to put but sometimes I have to think what to use.

my

that sunlight dust lawnmower poem is good !

mostly the poem is already there and you just have to write it down, but not always !

you have to play it by  ‘ ear ” ,  the big problem is to write them down when they pop up, what you may have first dissed can be quite good when looked at later/ written down ! :o)

sepehr g.  a s k s

What movies do you consider contemplative and mystical, andrew?

Besides Melancholia, Jean de Florette / Manon of the Spring, and Andrei Tarkovsky's stuff, which we've discussed, I consider these films mystical, which I've mentioned a couple times before :

1. Cave of the Yellow Dog directed by Byambasuren Davaa

2. Au Hasard Balthazar directed by Robert Bresson

3. Ikiru directed by Akira Kurosawa

4. Color of Paradise directed by Majid Majidi

5. The Man Who Planted Trees drawn by Frederic Back.

6. Fanny and Alexander by Ingmar Bergman

I like poetry, but I prefer poetic films more

poetic mystical films  >  poetry  >  literature  >  everything else

my

i was looking at some italian fims, luchino visconti  (sandra, the stranger) ,  valerio zurlini  (girl with a suitcase)  recently that i quite liked..

what amazes me with the net is you think you've seen it all . .  then wham around the corner is something new of quality demanding to be investigated ! .! :o)

so one really has to juggle priorities . :o)

i really feel at this point i have back log of interesting material that would take at least three or four life times to c l e a r  . .

sepehr g.  w r i t e s

I like poetry, but I prefer poetic films more

poetic mystical films  >  poetry  >  literature  >  everything else

my

i was looking at some italian fims, luchino visconti  (sandra, the stranger) ,  valerio zurlini  (girl with a suitcase)  recently that i quite liked..

what amazes me with the net is you think you've seen it all . .  then wham around the corner is something new of quality demanding to be investigated ! .! :o)

so one really has to juggle priorities . :o)

i really feel at this point i have back log of interesting material that would take at least three or four life times to c l e a r  . .

sepehr ,  that's just  intrusive  junk

the world is full of bullshit, why give it airplay ?

you sorta make progress, then go backwards, you really don't accept you have yet to understand . .

i'm not here to p a s s  t h e  t i m e  !  .  .  .  .  : o )

----------------------

sepehr, the video is full on and voynich, like you i am having some life issues with the time i spend on the internet and really that sort of thing takes a lot of attention only to need to be discarded !

i think basically you are not putting enough time into things and sorting them out, too many opinions and time spent constructing some sort of  “explanative”  righting of the universe . .

a bit  ‘teflony”  and skid over things . .

it's abit the pot callling the kettle black i am a f r a i d ! . . : o)

sepehr, that's just  intrusive  junk

the world is full of bullshit, why give it airplay ?

you sorta make progress, then go backwards, you really don't accept you have yet to understand . .

i'm not here to p a s s  t h e  t i m e  !  .  .  .  .  : o )

the world is full of bullshit, why give it airplay ?

zakaj   w r i t e s

I'm in Japan now  (ed.   8/3/15) ,  I was at the Buddhist temple yesterday, I have to say what people say about Japanese Buddhism is true. The whole thing is just a funeral business. I knew this before but I still thought this institution can be "used" in some way, to support contemplative types. But its actually not true, the institution is a machinery that works against genuine contemplation, in the direction of pure ritualism.

I must admit that I am having some doubts about Buddhism in general. If the institutions today are such, how do I know that it wasnt always like this? And that it was the same kind of institutions that authored the Sutras? What if there is no "genuine" and never was, save a few isolated cases, and the whole thing has been a fake from the get go? In this spiritual confusion, I read the Zhuangzi. It's like a breath of fresh air. Isn't that a case of contemplation that is not yet trapped in institutionalism ?

I sit on the bed and watch the wall. I lie on the bed and observe the roof. I think of death with a kind of joy. I dont want it to happen now, but the thought that eventually I disappear, arouses a certain curiosity and an ecstatic feeling. How do we know that in hating death we are not extremely deluded? I certainly never contemplate suicide. It just seems pointless, why not let it all unfold instead? The spiritual quest is one of constant loss. Our identity, our religion, our knowledge and "spiritual attainments"... all goes away like yesterday-s dreams and then what is left? I sit, I look outside of the window and I don't know what or who am I. Isn't it all just a   ‘ dream we dreamed one afternoon long ago ’  ?

when you've got this much  money  you don't worry of course but it's interesting to see that he knows that music for  ‘ stairway to heaven ”  was  plagiarized  with that  shrug   [6:30]

it's an ersatz world, even violence is  faked

this   isn't  f a k e ! : o(

jason  dafonte  w r i t e s

when i was younger i was so upset with my brothers friends i went into the utensil drawer and started throwing knives at all of them

they ran away pretty quick upstairs

i used to be a crazy nutcase

my

maybe   by the lights   of infinity it wasn't c r a z y a t a l l ! . . .  ! : o ) (

“  cadmium  disrupts  the transport of the essential metals manganese and zinc into and out of cells ”

“ in a model bacterial system, the chemistry of cadmium allows it to bypass the mechanisms that prevent other metals, such as iron and zinc, from freely entering cells

once inside the cell, cadmium inserts itself into the cell's metal sensing machinery causing it to malfunction and pump out the wrong metal ions while still bringing in more cadmium

this ultimately leads to death of the cell ”

“ [..] . . cadmium uptake reduces the millimolar cellular accumulation of manganese and zinc, and thereby increases sensitivity to oxidative stress

despite this, high cellular concentrations of cadmium  (~17  mM)  are tolerated, with negligible impact on growth or sensitivity to oxidative stress, when manganese and ​glutathione are abundant ”

woodheater chemo for skin cancer ! :o)

“ hyperthermia is a type of cancer treatment in which body tissue is exposed to high temperatures  (up to 45°C/113°F)  to damage and kill cancer cells ”

arthur   rimbaud   was probably always  doomed ,  a familial gene  inactivation ,  also what gave him his energy and mania !

i think the  difference  is childlessness and perhaps celibacy and that’s what washing your bowl is about, not some intrinsically pure state, but going the extra 10 thousand miles that this work requires to sort things out !

married with kids can’t do this, the demands of life and supporting children are too severe or onerous to permit the latitude of what washing your bowl requires  .  .

if you are going to cast pearls before swine, just remember what happens to them !  :o)

pearls cast before swine get shit on or trampled into the mud !  :o(

if you are going to cast pearls before swine, just remember what happens to them !  :o)

pearls cast before swine get shit on or trampled into the mud !  :o()

if you are going to cast pearls before swine, just remember what happens to them !  :o)

pearls cast before swine get shit on or trampled into the mud !  :o)(

if you are going to cast pearls before swine, just remember what happens to them !  :o)

it's funny how you can   relate   to the teeth ! ! :o)

you sit down first thing in the morning not slept that great. to check out what has happened on the web and some fucking fly comes to  c a r e s s  your hand !

 :o  ()

you sit down

first thing in the morning

not slept that great.

to check out what has happened

on

the

web

and

some

fucking

fly

comes

to

c

a

r

e

s

s

your

ben   williams  !

years ago i read of a man in sydney who of his own accord took photographs for many years of couples being married locally, he died and his photographs were put on display . .

this always stuck in my mind this as i seem to be engaged/engage in a similar futile task  . .

what was he doing and what am i doing ?

then i was looking at   this  and it struck me that he was interested in/seeing a transition in the boundaries of s e l f  . .

years ago i read of a man in sydney who of his own accord took photographs for many years of couples being married locally, he died and his photographs were put on display . .

it always stuck in my mind this as i seem to be engaged/engage in a similar futile task  . .

what was he doing and what am i doing ?

then i was looking at   this  and it struck me that he was interested in/seeing a transition in the boundaries of s e l f  . .

years ago i read of a man in sydney who of his own accord took photographs for many years of couples being married locally, he died and his photographs were put on display . .

it always stuck in my mind this as i seem to be engaged/engage is a similar futile task  . .

what was he doing and what am i doing ?

then i was looking at   this  and it struck me that he was interested in/seeing a transition in the boundaries of s e l f  . .

years ago i read of a man in sydney who of his own accord took pictures for many years of couples being married locally, he died and his pictures were put on display . .

it always stuck in my mind this as i seem to be engaged/engage is a similar futile task  . .

what was he doing and what am i doing ?

then i was looking at   this  and it struck me that he was interested in/seeing a transition in the boundaries of s e l f  . .

long sleep  duration    narcolepsy   !

 narcolepsy   is a much more pervasive phenomena than you woud think with its extension of the hypnagogic dreaming state into waking life ! :o()

----------------------

“ the root  cause  of narcolepsy is likely an autoantibody presence attacking tribbles, small granules in our brains containing regulatory orexin neurons, which maintain the balance between sleep and wakefulness in the brain

in patients and animals that develop narcolepsy, there is an evident depletion of orexin in the brain, and therefore a lack of sleep/wake balance, and later attacks of narcolepsy

why is the orexin disappearing ?

the culprit is an autoimmune reaction  —  the binding of autoantibodies to the tribble granules to destroy them ”

today's 18 to 25 year old generation is much more unhealthy than previous generations and the lack of the large pool of free labour is slowly killing the zen and other centers  . .

the problem with brazil nuts is_are their high levels of  radium  and  barium  !

most of the radium is not retained in the body, but still, caution is need here !

we had to get into an old shed at work but nobody knew the combo for the lock on it

so we cut the chain and saved the lock

he spent months trying every combination from 0000 to 9999

he went through the whole thing twice

still he never got it to open before he retired.

reddit

 strange interlude   is  eugene  o'neill's    best  work    ! 

eugene  o’neill’s best  work with  very good leading actors  !

parts     1     2     3

religious or  “ spiritual ”  retreat centers can be in beautiful places but the reality is there's always an undercurrent of bullshit . .

the whole religious thing is a  “meme” ,  a lot of clichés that is half bullshit half sense, a factory that produces priests so the system carries on indefinitely

the whole religious thing is a  “meme” ,  half bullshit half sense, a factory that produces priests so the system carries on indefinitely

the whole  ( zen !)  thing is a  “meme” ,  a factory that produces  “dharma heirs”  so the system carries on indefinitely

the whole  ( zen !)  thing is a  “meme”  a factory that produces  “dharma heirs”  so the system carries on indefinitely

the whole zen thing is a  “meme” ,  a factory that produces  “dharma heirs”  so the system carries on indefinitely

the whole zen thing is a  “meme”  a factory that produces  “dharma heirs”  so the system carries on indefinitely

the whole  (kwan um zen !)  thing is a  “meme” ,  a factory that produces  “dharma heirs”  so the system carries on indefinitely

the whole  (kwan um zen !)  thing is a  “meme”  a factory that produces  “dharma heirs”  so the system carries on indefinitely

both thyroid problems and narcolepsy   can stem from autoimmunity, so with a common root event you can have both conditions to varying extents, that's why health problems often don't readily parse into single distinct conditions !

i am sure i have degrees of both narcolepsy and thyroid problems  and i only sleep about five to six hours in a stretch, wake slowly and don't feel refreshed ! :o)

what saves me is an occasional two hour or so extra sleep once every couple of days ! : o )(

i think turning off all screens half an hour or so before bed is useful/important ! :o)

whey protein shakes feed bad gut flora, you want to avoid that sort of thing and anything to do with  “being buff” or bodybuilding, the whole scene is full of nutcase wrecks who collapse once past 35 ! :o(

migraine and the damn sphenopalatine  ganglion

i would imagine anesthesizing the sphenopalatine ganglion which is what is effectively happening, breaks a major positive feedback loop ramping up the migraine !

post modernism is  deconstructive  without the aesthetic element !

EDMUND

*Then with alcoholic talkativeness

You've just told me some high spots in your memories. Want to hear mine? They're all connected with the sea. Here's one.

When I was on the Squarehead square rigger, bound for Buenos Aires. Full moon in the Trades. The old hooker driving fourteen knots. I lay on the bowsprit, facing astern, with the water foaming into spume under me, the masts with every sail white in the moonlight, towering high above me. I became drunk with the beauty and signing rhythm of it, and for a moment I lost myself  --  actually lost my life. I was set free! I dissolved in the sea, became white sails and flying spray, became beauty and rhythm, became moonlight and the ship and the high dim-starred sky!

I belonged, without past or future, within peace and unity and a wild joy, within something greater than my own life, or the life of Man, to Life itself! To God, if you want to put it that way. Then another time, on the American Line, when I was lookout on the crow's nest in the dawn watch. A calm sea, that time. Only a lazy ground swell and a slow drowsy roll of the ship. The passengers asleep and none of the crew in sight. No sound of man. Black smoke pouring from the funnels behind and beneath me. Dreaming, not keeping looking, feeling alone, and above, and apart, watching the dawn creep like a painted dream over the sky and sea which slept together.

Then the moment of ecstatic freedom came. the peace, the end of the quest, the last harbor, the joy of belonging to a fulfillment beyond men's lousy, pitiful, greedy fears and hopes and dreams ! And several other times in my life, when I was swimming far out, or lying alone on a beach, I have had the same experience. Became the sun, the hot sand, green seaweed anchored to a rock, swaying in the tide. Like a saint's vision of beatitude. Like a veil of things as they seem drawn back by an unseen hand. For a second you see -- and seeing the secret, are the secret. For a second there is meaning! Then the hand lets the veil fall and you are alone, lost in the fog again, and you stumble on toward nowhere, for no good reason !

*He grins wryly.

It was a great mistake, my being born a man, I would have been much more successful as a sea gull or a fish. As it is, I will always be a stranger who never feels at home, who does not really want and is not really wanted, who can never belong, who must always be a a little in love with death!

TYRONE

*Stares at him -- impressed.

Yes, there's the makings of a poet in you all right.

*Then protesting uneasily.

But that's morbid craziness about not being wanted and loving death.

EDMUND

*Sardonically

The *makings of a poet. No, I'm afraid I'm like the guy who is always panhandling for a smoke. He hasn't even got the makings. He's got only the habit. I couldn't touch what I tried to tell you just now. I just stammered.

That's the best I'll ever do, I mean, if I live. Well, it will be faithful realism, at least. Stammering is the native eloquence of us fog people

a little  echo  from reddit zen !

or maybe a loud one, but man i learnt my lesson, never posting there again ! :o)

the trouble is they are all  “borderline personality disorder” ,  the type that takes your help, uses it and then kicks you in the face and head for your trouble, like you are some problem with the world to be used and crushed ! :o)

sepehr, i am taking the liberty of reposting your deleted post because i have a reply to it and actually yours is a good post, you really want to learn to leave what you write up, it's a picture of your changing views, not only is there nothing wrong with that ,  but it's simply how things are / r o l l ! :o)

there is no self image to protect, nothing  “right”  to preserve, it's all just lurching and moving from one error or another to another, the  “ spiritual path ”  is for that process to refine to more correct views ! :o)

just be ourselves warts and all ! ;o)

-----------------------------------

sepehr g.   writes

I've been trying to understand how the brain's activity relates to the mysterious irradiance permeating the entire universe to no avail... When I was working in lab, I confronted someone who argued life is not a reflection of something deeper because all of our experiential content is spurious and reducible to brain activity. I argued with him, but he couldn't understand. When I had to kill rats, I felt a dread of what he said is true, and now, I want to just renounce this life in order to live on of solitude in natural scenery and read poetry or something to get to the bottom of the answer. People like Adi Da are frauds who sell a positive  “feel good”  message to people, and I want to figure it out for myself

I question whether image-like, episodic memory really is stored in the brain sometimes. The ending of Zerkalo seemed to point to the possibility of a deeper underlying reality inextricably tied to our memory, but I don't know. I think Henri Bergson may have been right, but I'm not sure either. I got into Neuroscience out of an existential need for this answer but it just leads to more questions and perplexities, especially in relation to Zen

my

sepehr, i'm going to try and explain it to you a g a i n ! :o)

it's the difference between   this   and   this

you are in the space of the 2nd one, but you need to be in the space of the first ! :o)

in short it just drifts on forever in some conventional way ! :o)

the first starts to pull you apart and crucify you, but it gives an endgame, at least in terms of true  ‘ mystical understanding ’   or what zen is really about  ! : 0 )(

you take the medicocre and plump it up like it was worth something, panpsychism/panprotopsychism and notions of conciousness are just recursive voynich !

if you are interested in philosophy there's a lot of good jaques derrida you tubes . . !

to be effective in philosophy you have to apply a lot of attention of detail to definitions and the way they mutate and flow in quality reading and exposition !

what seems to happens is you just end up creating  ‘ shields ”  to isolate from what you need to give attention to in your life !

what has reddit zen really to teach !

that a few of them own their own houses and have a reasonable or good investment or other income and just pass their time mouthing bullshit, the others are broke, do drugs, are in poor health and just mouth bullshit, which is it better to be ?

any work that involves sacrificing or cruelty to animals won't work for you so you have to go forward excluding that !

wow gives me a new   appreciation   of van gogh ! :o)

such incredible detail, to think he only sold   one painting   out of the 900 he made in his lifetime ! :o()

the whole stupid business makes you cry, huge sums paid for his work now and also the very inferior contemporary artists now also paid huge sums for j u n k ! :o(

jason  dafonte   w r i t e s

i think if i ever had any experience with infinity as a child, it was when i was flying on a plane to portugal.  what i remember is that i was just sitting there, and suddenly everything opened up.  i felt the skies around me as we were flying through.

i think you wrote something along the lines of if you've won something, it can't be unwon.  that's how i feel writing this.  doesn't explain what i felt.

when i write here, i don't write from infinity.  i'm pretty lost, but changing my diet and the supplements are helping i think.  living on long island, new york it's hard to get outside because it's all grey.  can't even go to the beach, i got a ticket in the summer because i was sitting on the beach with my friend past 11pm.

my

no, just the opposite, a genuine experience and i guess what i would have had to say is that there's a lot unseen that comes with an experience like that that puts you as a sane person in the pysch ward of the world forever !

thyroid problems are like heart issues, very very serious, way more serious than everyone thinks so it warrants a lot of your time to sort out !

the end points are thyroid cancer and no thyroid function, both of which are a disaster area !

sepehr ,  neither you nor michael elliston want to pay eugene o'neills   price   ! :o(

you both just play around writing and talking bullshit and in elliston's case making feeble empty wash drawings any child could outclass ! . .  !

i don't ask for some rubbishy ill thought out comment on emily dickenson's poems, i ask for your poems and if you quote her, your poem in reply !

if you don't want to pay eugene o'neills price and can avoid it, then i suggest you do, but don't turn into one of the forever broke morons that reddit zen mostly accumulates !  . .  !

i pay the price, not by choice, but because i naturally am in that scenario/milieu, i wish to  a v o i d  i t  but i can't

i really suggest rather than get mired in the reddit zen mistake is just look at a conventional life with an adequate income and health and some outdoors recreation !

i have seen people like you hang around ug kirshnamurti for twenty or thirty years, no wiser than when they started ! . . .  ! :o(

if this seems harsh it's nothing to what you are doing to yourself !

i keep telling you, you are in the wrong semantic space to make sense of  a l l  t h i s  s t u f f  !

you give about  10% ,  to be done so it works needs  10, 000  where does that come from !  ?

one of the secrets of valuing art since some or a lot of what constitues “ good art ” is in fact projection or an effort to look for more and the work of art yield to that, like  “ the mona lisa ”  yields because of its likeness to leonardo himself and his statement about gender blurring  (he was gay !)

the work of art is infinite regress, it's not about infinite regress, it is itself infinite regress  !  : o ( . . )

you write  “ Enlightenment is the alignment of all stars, of immense superposition ”

this is like elliston's art, there is something to it, but it misses the mark, just lacks heft or plain  “ hit you over the head ” weight ! :o)

jeremiah  warned  them !  [48:40]

the  sharks  fought back ! :o)

the discovery of two bullae verify the historical identities of two of the judean king's advisory council portrayed in this fiasco !

akiane kramarik in an ABC   interview

arkiane kramarik and her family are brilliant publicists, they really were very poor and the father has bad health . . i don't think her work is that distinct as an adult, very few child prodigies seem to keep growing into adulthood . . .

“ we did not evolve to read

instead, a growing body of research suggests that we read by  repurposing  neural machinery that evolved to process faces and objects ”

eyelash  length  is an amazingly constant one third ratio to the width of the eye across  (all?)  mammals except the elephant !

“ eyelashes form a barrier to control airflow and the rate of evaporation on the surface of the cornea ”

when women elongate their eyelash length that is screwing with the protective aerodynamics surrounding the eye, maybe making their eyes drier ! :o)(

“ those who consume a high energy  breakfast  and a low energy dinner have better blood sugar control than those who eat a low energy breakfast and a high energy dinner

adjusting the diet in this fashion could help optimise metabolic control and prevent the complications of type 2 diabetes ”

“ when humans eat animal proteins such as red meat, the body metabolizes these proteins into acids

the kidneys produce substances to help the body rid itself of this acid, but these substances can   hurt  kidney function if they remain at high levels in the body over long periods of time

[..]  when animals or humans switch from a diet high in animal protein to one high in plant proteins such as fruits and vegetables, kidney function is protected

this is because the body metabolizes plant proteins into bases, not acids ”

vitamin A  significantly  reduces the number of red blood cells produced by stem cells !

ultradian  rhythms  are a 4 hour cycle !

life is so painful you can just cry and cry but what good does it do ?

life is so painful you can just cry and cry, but what good does it do ?

life is so painful you can just cry and cry, what good does it do ?

life is so painful you can just cry and cry

what good does it do ?

life is so painful you can just cry and cry

what

good

does

it

quite an extraordinary collection of people ! :o)(

i actually think the compendium dual seleniums have a
    chemotherapeutic action    !

a very interesting  article  and  video ,  quite weird to feel yourself surviving when if another easier road taken, one would be dead ! : o)(

‘ life with deficits is still life ’

anders ferry  [1:28:20]

sepehr g.   writes

it's incredible.

give it a shot before judging it

also, i still prefer a naturalistic setting.

my

it/you are eating the lotus when you watch this junk - . . h e r o i n !

f

o

r

a

u

t

i

s

t

i

c

s

: o )(

another   photo   that i like by wayne frost

relaxing   !  : o)(

beauty and the beast   (美女と野獣)   guitar arranged by kanaho

another song

talk about a botched design  melanin  can be a cause of melanoma !

interestingly african albinos are known to have a very reduced rate of melanoma compared to pigmented africans !

in some areas of tanzania, albinos are at deadly risk of amputation and death because of the imputed magical properties that their body parts have !

the problem is that melanin delays rather than prevents uva damage to DNA since free radical photoproducts excite melanin electrons to a triplet state that creates DNA damaging free radicals, this process peaks about 3 hours after the uva exposure !

interestingly this places melanoma as being more caused by UVA than UVB !

the male not female and female not male  discussing  [14:40]  gender role blurring in syngnathidae

nick   baker   and melanie stiassny

the male not female and female not male  discussing  [14:40]  gender role blurring in syngnathidae

we are constantly living the objective

people objectifying themselves with their children !

we are constantly living the objective

people objectifying themselves with their children

we are constantly living the objective

people objectifying themselves through their children !

we are constantly living the objective

people objectifying themselves through their children

we are constantly living the objective

sane and insane

turn

unendingly

sane and insane

the crystalline wheels

turn

unendingly

sane and insane

the crystalline wheels

turn

incessantly

sane and insane

the crystalline wheels

turn

i

n

c

e

s

s

a

n

t

l

y

there is no god

v4

there is no god

there is no me

v3

god loves me

there is no god

there is no me

v2

God hates me

God loves me

there is no god

god hates me

god loves me

there is no god

there is no me

v1

students were  instructed  to recite  ‘ does your arse fit you ? ’  faster and faster until it evolved into the russian word   zdravstvuite    (   здравствуйте  which means ‘ hello ’  )

last

infinity

you

absolute fucking

b

i

t

c

h

!

:

o

(

last

words

infinity

you

absolute fucking

b

i

t

c

h

!

:

o

(

your joy is built on a bed rock of absolute fucking stones !

: o)(

we get fixated on the past as certain, but events could have happened a different way !

how much more uncertain must the future be ! :o)

yet the older we get the more the latitude for uncertainty is limited/constrained ! :o)(

we get fixated on the past as certain, but events could have happened a different way !

how much more uncertain must the future be ! :o)

we get fixated on the past as certain, but events could have happened a different way !

slavoj zizek  making  some rascist jokes ! :o)

ok, the usual ghastly  translation  of dogen's genjo koan lines

to study the buddha-way is to study the self

learning the self means forgetting the self

to forget the self is to be intimate with ten thousand things

yeah u g l y and  s t u p i d  i s n ' t  it

my rehash, ray of sunshine ! :o)

to learn about infinity is to learn about ourselves

emily dickinson is a very elliptical writer, so i think this sort of   reading   can help !

zakaj   writes

while i wholeheartedly support sepehr's idea  (ed. publishing andrew's writing in book form) ,  this  “you can also make a lot of money”  is not true.  poetry, especially quality poetry, doesn't make money.  did you watch the red pine docu andrew posted above ?  he says the same.  what makes a lot of money is  50  shades of gray !

( erotica for women dominates; then also new age self-help books. people don't care about quality, they want to know how to satisfy their desires and get what they want A.S.A.P. ! )

my

yeah i agree zakaj, i haven't bought a book for years and can find those i want to read free on-line !

a lot of charles bukowski's life was about him not being able to make any money with his writing  at all and i really only think the films and novels made anything for him in later life !

this  is what makes money, it's alot of work and you really have to enter into the mindset to the exclusion of everything else

people don't want to think, they want to be entertained and eat the lotus

sepehr g. asks  writes/states

I can't take reddit zen, andrew/zaddar1 !

I got done talking to someone who said this :

“ I refute the idea that any form of art can be zen ”

I've kinda lost all hope in mankind, haha...

my

i'll offer my observations on reddit zen since I still read, but don't post !

the first is that because people can change  nicks/id's/alts  is it is very unstable, that coupled with an unending stream of new hubric twits and its resident schizophrenics means you can't beat it !

so reddit zen will always win, you can't beat it, which is a good “ zen-like ” starting point !

I do find it useful to read occasionally, like this link to   bill porter   is good !

so how do I win against such a concentrated collection of turds !

well I reap by reading and don't help them at all by posting so this immediately places the whole thing in my favour !

reddit zen is intrinsically anti-artistic as clitstation/clickstation stopped any ability to imaginatively format posts by not permitting the non-breaking space character which enables one to introduce some spatial resonance into posts !

he is the effective owner as far as I can see and this is one thing I have learnt over the years with message boards, they never deviate from their owners and their personalities and characteristics

ewk is schizophrenic and has early dementia, pointing at the moon has an alcohol problem and is odd because he has the most beautiful poetry writing style, but just writes the most awful crap

one could go on . . ! :o)

anyway I find one just has to have an absolute rule not to post at all and things work a lot better that way ! :o)

there is a stong gay element on the board as well, ewk and pointing at the moon are gay and really for them I think the board is enlivened by the prospect of talking to nice young men ! :o)

I cannot believe I wasted a year posting there, it was productive in terms of extending my knowledge about a lot of zen texts, whether that was useful or I would have been better doing other things I don't know

with reddit zen you can see the problem that everyone makes with  ‘ mystical inquiry ’  they don't sort out things to any level of detail let alone the grinding level that quality mysticism requires and so they just meander on in a bubble of hubric self assurance ! :o)(

sepehr g.  asks

I mean unexcelled, complete perfect enlightenment

my

that's an interesting question because there's a group of people who are very good, but still missing something, even a few oh so close who you can't really say wether they are truely enlightened or not like osip mendalstam and ibn 'arabi !

close would be derrida, heraclitus, schopenhauer, li po, tu fu, wei yingwu, sylvia plath, john keats, ryokan, giacomo leopardi, philip larkin, joshu, foyan, sa'di, charles bukowski, john of the cross, charles dodgson /lewis carroll, w.h auden  . .

it does puzzle me abit, this jump between those with a good understanding and those able to transcend into something really both a bit and quite d i f f e r e n t   . .

the problem as i say is we don't live long e n o u g h . .

you need the solitude, the natural scenery. , . the  ‘ beauty is truth ’  aspect, the garnering and reflection of experience . .

the helpful reading that can catapult you through completely new insights and working

the  ‘ feeding ’  of infinity to you . .

then at the end of the day you are left like me, wondering if all this extra work is worthwhile and one would simply be better to take more walks, get out more and focus more on the practical side of life rather than developing a very large esoteric knowledge that just consumes and consumes m o r e  . .

the point of that work is getting the certainty to stare down a stupid world so full of its own bullshit and right ness (reddit zen !) . .

Buddhist  “practice”  and all that sort of nonsense is simply a parallelism and not the real thing/actual identity !

zen centers used to be heavily into soy and a lot of people got their health damaged, I know that George bowman has thyroid problems now !

there are no throwaway people

that's  750  times longer than normal !

jason  dafonte   writes

tonight a woman came into the pizzeria, and i knew there was something different about her

she ordered two slices, and took off all of the cheese to eat and left the bread !

my

yeah, that's like mystical understanding, from one point of view it's surprising, from a better understanding what happened/happens is not !

jason  dafonte   writes

any way, so many planes pass by my house

one of the biggest airports in the world is about 30 minutes away

they are very loud, and last night i learned that their flashing lights under the wings are so bright they even flash into my room

i've never seen the flashing lights in my own room, and i was surprised

sort of made me think of how much i'm missing on visually ?

my first mini kensho experience had a lot to do with visuals, when i opened my eyes after meditating i thought i saw a steady mist in the air... and the room seemed very crisp

the corners on the wall were very defined

my

interesting  “ vision ” ,  yeah I suppose the wall corners are well defined, but that doesn't mean they can't be dismantled and gone through ! :o)

jon  replies

these posts make me think of one of the last times i did zazen.  can't remember if it was the same year of that storm i witnessed.  might've been a year earlier

I was just sitting in front of the tv  (it was off)  and I noticed that my reflection started moving, simmering.  I got up and went outside, everything was so vivid.  it was a bright day with some clouds, the trees were swaying in the wind

did some walking around, went to talk to someone working at the water treatment plant.  usually I just stay away from people even though I'm from a small town and I know everyone

you can dismantle and go through them ?  the wall corners I mean.  or do you just sit there and you can see through them ?

my

jason  dafonte  writes

my two friends want to go on a road trip this summer all around the united states, some time in august, but i was planning on going to furnace mountain in june until august, and maybe even until november

i wish they'd wait until next year

my

years ago i turned down an opportunity to sail around the world because i knew i wouldn't survive and i think basically people f i n d  m e  a  b i t  s t r a n g e ⎽ .  .

“ in traditional hash, the proportions of THC  (delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol)  and CBD  (cannabidiol)  are about equal, at 4 per cent each

in skunk, THC reaches around 14 to 15 per cent, while CBC tumbles to barely a trace

THC is the ingredient that creates the drug’s high but which also  triggers psychosis

even more important, skunk contains hardly any CBD, which has been shown to counteract the psychotic effects of THC

regular users of  skunk  were three times more likely to suffer from psychosis
  and daily users were five times more likely 

however , people who smoked regular hashish   —   which contains the same psychoactive ingredient as ultra-powerful marijuana strains, but is not as potent   —   showed no variations away from or toward psychosis ”

study       pdf

my great great uncle was  killed  by a sniper !

it sounds like he was  quite ill  to the point his judgement was affected and should have retired or been discharged from service !

in the introduction  (page 15)  to  ‘ the poems of ryojkan ’  translated  by nobuyuki yuasa is a poem by ikkyū sōjun

the wind sounds hollow in the lofty pines at a mountain temple

the rain rustles a bamboo grove beside a riverside cottage

there is no passage open here to the glory of wordly fame

quietly, a man regards plums and willows upon a log bridge

i was rather taken by this and have retranslated it !

the wind through the pines has its own special sound

the pattering of rain on garden foilage

there is no road from here to wealth and prominence  . .

mesmerized by plum blossom and willows a l o n g a r i v e r b a n k . .

levothyroxine   =   C15H11I4NO4

the I4 is iodine, so it's built around iodine, more iodine  =  more levothyroxine

kelp is bad news because it's indigestible and contains arsenic !

you may well need levothyroxine, but maybe some combination of iodine and less levothyroxine would work better or you could have an autoimmunity issue and not be able to tolerate iodine ?

you just have to experiment, one thing I can tell you, people who go the medical only route don't survive long term !

zakaj  asks

if enlightenment is visual, how could visualization be a bad idea ?

my

zakaj  asks

if enlightenment is visual, how could visualization be a bad idea ?

my

zakaj  asks

if enlightenment is visual, how could visualization be a bad idea ?

my

zakaj  asks

if enlightenment is visual, how could visualization be a bad idea ?

my

robbie  basho

I         II

at the age of 45, he was killed by a chiropracter who ruptured a vertebral artery during a manipulation which caused what proved to be a fatal stroke!

atheism is no righter than not abandoning religion !

atheism is no righter than not abandoning religion !

atheism is no righter than not abandoning religion ! : o ) (

atheism is no righter than not abandoning religion !

atheism is no righter than not abandoning religion

atheism is no righter than abandoning religion !

atheism is no righter than abandoning religion !

atheism is no righter than abandoning religion ! : o ) (

atheism is no righter than abandoning religion !

atheism is no righter than abandoning religion

there is nothing that screws your life up like becoming famous !

there is nothing that screws your life up like becoming famous ! : o ( )

there is nothing that screws your life up like becoming famous ! : o ) (

there is nothing that screws your life up like becoming famous !

: o (

there is nothing that screws your life up like becoming famous !

: o )

there is nothing that screws your life up like becoming famous !

v2

there is nothing that screws your life up like becoming famous

v1

zakaj   writes

. . . that poetry is fundamentally different, it's not just a surface difference... it's really totally another thing from how language is used in essays or how I am using language in this reply, or how language is used in voynich

I get this vision; partly it's triggered by the empty spaces he puts between the lines, partly by the style and the content

his verses are koans !

zakaj   writes

I have a special notebook for new words, I just wrote   winnow   down, what a beautiful word. I love the sound of some words, you always seem to pick the beautiful ones. Your style is superb, you can see the decades of refinement and self-deconstruction and introspection in it. I don't remember who said that style is character. That our true identity is the style, not the content of our writing. The content stands for what we WANT to be; the style is what we actually  ARE :  something that we can't even grasp, because it's too near to us. Style can never be changed, it can only be refined. Probably by reading quality literature.

Andrew is strange because of his uniqueness. Especially the spiritual people are, to paraphrase Nietzsche,  "apes of their ideals".  Even the so-called Zen masters  -  most of them are just copy/pasting the same metaphors, same expressions, same tropes as the  "lineage"  passes down. Shouldn't enlightenment create a unique individual? Why then do these self-proclaimed enlightened teachers carbon copies of their teachers? Is the seal of the mind like a photocopy machine creation numerous iterations of  "The Master",  like clones, epigones ?

What attracts me to your work is the uniqueness; I can never anticipate your replies. For most people, I can anticipate what they're gonna say or post next, but you are kind of a constant surprise. Not that you're stochastic. You're very consistent. And still, even within that self-consistency, there's infinite detail, kind of like a fractal infinity, that can is both algorithmically logical and finitely confined, and yet infinitely zoomable and surprising.

----------------------

I have a special notebook for new words, I just wrote  "winnow"  down, what a beautiful word. I love the sound of some words, you always seem to pick the beautiful ones. Your style is superb, you can see the decades of refinement and self-deconstruction and introspection in it. I don't remember who said that style is character. That our true identity is the style, not the content of our writing. Style can never be changed perhaps, it can only be refined, with age.

It's your uniqueness that strikes me.  "Spiritual"  people usually tend to be - to paraphrase Nietzsche - "apes of their ideals". Even the so-called Zen masters - most of them are just copy/pasting the same metaphors, same expressions, same tropes as the "lineage" passes down. It's part of the ritual. Shouldn't enlightenment create a unique individual ?  Why then do these self-proclaimed enlightened teachers carbon copies of their teachers? Is the seal of the mind like a photocopy machine creating numerous iterations of  "the Master" ?

What attracts me to your work is the imponderability of it; I can never anticipate your replies. For most people, I can anticipate what they're gonna say or post next, but you are kind of a constant surprise. Not that you're stochastic. You're very consistent. And still, even within that self-consistency, there's infinite detail, kind of like a fractal infinity, that can is both algorithmically logical, finitely confined, and yet infinitely zoomable and surprising

philosophy is always   a failing approximation   of good poetry

philosophy is always a failing approximation of good poetry

i think why you posted this, is it is a n  a c t u al    e x p e r i e n c e   o f  i n f i n i t y  !

i think why you posted this, is it is a n  a c t u al    experience   o f  i n f i n i t y  !

jon

i think why you posted this, is it is an actual   experience   of infinity !

zakaj   asks

something I recently read about kūkai has somehow influenced me :

kūkai held, along with the chinese huayan school  (kegon 華嚴)  and the tendai schools, that all phenomena could be expressed as  ‘letters’  in a  ‘world-text’

mantra, mudra, and mandala are special because they constitute the  ‘language’  through which the dharmakāya  (i.e. reality itself)  communicates

the idea that the dharmakāya itself speaks and that the whole world of phenomena could be seen as a world-text is, I think, not voynich, and quite a penetrating insight, if not the ultimate itself 

what do you make of it?

have you met this idea of a world-text in other places, perhaps in literature?

my

god a real brain teaser first thing in the morning ! :o)(

in fact bishop berkeley propounds this ideal of  “world text”  as the  “mind of god”  which is perhaps not wrong in the abstract and the basic mystical essential is the identity of god, buddha/infinity in special cases of phenomena . .

you probably agree with this but the next step is where we part company ! :o)

the first is the the truth is ultimately visual and not vocal, this is a sort of foundation that religion can't go past since it , especially the forms of Buddhism you favour are vocal !

the second is that religions like shingon and pure land are in fact sophisticated fakes founded by intelligent men who had a good understanding of what infinity is about in the abstract and in terms of  “a world text” ,  but never took the next step into the actual identity of infinity and reality in its special cases !  . .

mantra, mudra, and mandala are these fake constructions tho perhaps mandalas like the tibetan sand mandalas at their best are true works of art and have that touching of identity, especially the way they are destroyed afterwards ! : o )

in short you are following a blind alley with buddhism, shingon and pure land, they are really  “ waiting at the end of time ”  or vehicles for simply passing the time  in an inauthentic way

and in actual fact this meiji/buji/suburban zen that is currently dominant in the west is also one of these suburban/waiting at the end of time fakes and extremely difficult to penetrate . .

because of the way drugs and media on the internet are bringing about a collapse of interest in the younger generation in religion and its ritualized stupidity, all your efforts at  “empire building”  or synthesizing some  “truthier”  shingon/pureland constructive artifact are doomed . ..

you need to abandon these religious collectives and step into the solipsist truth of yourself, which in fact will happen with solitude and contemplation and some real parsing of the various quality literature and wisdom literature around, really you should be ashamed of yourself the way you are promoting all this fake shingon/pureland/christian bullshit !

sepehr also seems somewhat avoidant of real quality with his enmeshment in entertaining idiocies like anime, you are the same except your entertainment is shingon/pure land, but the  f a k e  c a n  n e v e r  b e c o m e  r e a l  !  :o ()

anyway !

I think the truth being visual is something to do with the huge amounts of parallel processing the eye and its correlating areas in the brain do !

zakaj  replies

I just posted a reply on 7th Patriarch saying that I can never anticipate what you will reply next. Some people are extremely predictable, ewk for instance - he's almost robotic. But with you, there's always an element of surprise. You're self-consistent and yet  "fractally infinite"  -  always productive in a way that can't be anticipated, at least not by my mind.

What surprises me in this reply is your focus on the visual. It reminds me of the time when I took LSD. I'm not proud of it, and who knows if there are permanent psychological consequences? Anyway, I wanted to see what the mind is capable of, at the time. I did it as an experiment, not as entertainment. I was more interested in discovering something about the mind, than to have fun.

I took it two times. Once was with a good friend, and it was a very interesting experience. The second time was with a girl - and it was HELL. Big mistake. I never did it again after that. I have not taken any drug since  (this is many, many years ago)  -  and I haven't had a sip of wine in like half year. I don't want to preach abstinence to others, but for myself, it was the best decision of my life! It's worth it, for the mental stability and health benefits.

the first is the the truth is ultimately visual and not vocal

Anyway, the reason I mentioned the LSD experience is that one remarkable feature was, and I wrote this in a note right after the experience, that everything appeared as an aesthetic phenomenon. Everything was visual, everything was also beautiful in some way artistic, like a Van Gogh painting, even thoughts and sounds and moods were all visual!

Buddhism often speaks of unifying the senses; Mumon for instance, says that one will understand only when one can see sound. I'm not sure if Mumon was enlightened though. Some of his comments seem pretty bad, to be honest!

especially the forms of Buddhism you favour are vocal  !

Once I said to a friend of mine: I think that Indian mysticism favors the vocal, and that Western mysticism favors the visual! Is there any truth in that? The sound aum, embodying infinity in vocal frequency.

You are right I favor the vocal  (why?)  -  I think it's the way my brain is set? I remember in elementary school they had us do an official IQ test. Now, I don't know anything about IQ tests or psychology. I'm not a fan of this field, a lot of it seems to be BS. But they explained there are basically two tendencies in human intelligence; the verbal and the spatial-visual. And I scored very low on the spatial-visual, and high on the verbal.

Maybe this anecdote is unrelated. But it's an interesting question.

Interestingly, the Pure Land tradition was initially extremely visual. Its very specificity was that the main practice was not meditating on emptiness, or on breath, but on somethiing visual - the Pure Land which is like a marvelous place full of jewels and lotus flowers and billions of sunrays and fractal infinity.

Initially, this was seen as the true practice, and chanting "Amitabha" was an auxiliarry and something for those who do not have the capacity for visualization. But later since basically, people, most people, by and large, do not have that capacity, chanting became the main practice. This reaches the peak in Japanese Pure Land where the visualization technique completely disappeared.

really you should be ashamed of yourself the way you are promoting all this fake shingon/pureland/christian bullshit  !

For some reason, this critique is extremely comical to me. It paints my spiritual efforts as a somehow clownish activity.

But I also take it seriously. I think you are right.

This is extremely hard for me.

I guess it all comes from my indecision between solitude and the collective. I'm not willing to be part of the collective, but I'm also not willing to truly depart from it. So I find some discourses that allow me to be in both worlds simultaneously ?

But I see it doesn't really work.

real quality

I have other stuff instead of anime. I love detective show, especially mystery, murder cases etc. Also TV shows about court, lawyers, district attorneys. Somehow I enjoy watching people getting in trouble with the law, and the destructive effects of it, on themselves, their families, etc. It's really a perverse enjoyment, what the Germans call Schadenfreude, taking pleasure in the misfortune of others.

Do you not consume such entertainment, ever? The thing with quality is that it takes effort and energy.

I think the truth being visual

Well, this is definitely something I will have to process.

I remember you posted a picture once on /r/zen and said :  This is what enlightenment looks like.  Can't remember which one it was, but it made me flashback that van goghesque LSD visual feeling of all world being a visual-aesthetic artwork.

I remember in that experience an entity telling me :  "how dare you doubt yourself and have low confidence in this life ?  don't you see you, too, are part of the artwork, and I willed you to be exactly as you are, and so you are the very embodiment of perfection? who are you to doubt it what I created ?"  I remember it gave me very high-confidence, actually absolute confidence, almost solipsistically so.  But it lasted only a few days, then I went back to my Catholic guilt and my low-confidence !

my

you write

“ how dare you doubt yourself and have low confidence in this life? don't you see you, too, are part of the artwork, and I willed you to be exactly as you are, and so you are the very embodiment of perfection? who are you to doubt it what I created ? ”

well that's not wrong, but instead of working through things yourself you take the short cut and insert what the borg thinks ! :o)

a lot of the work of what zen or mysticism is about is simply developing a truer understanding so that you are confident in the face of the onrush of borg stupidity which can't bear to be shown up and in earlier times in the religious context would torture and kill you when you contradicted it !

fortunately we live in a different society and don't have to work to accommodate  “the borg”  in the way john of the cross ,  teresa of avila and Catherine of siena had to !

the problem with watching anime, detective shows etc is that time is very short , to work out the mystical stuff really takes 1000 years and we don't get that . .

zizek is a good example of the problems of watching entertainment in that he tries to cope with his being over written by its poor quality and general mind fuckedness by analysing it and using it as philosophical material, but it doesn't really work and places him as a second rather than first tier philosopher !

you just lose focus , essential working time and it inhibits the development of productive activity so that one is cast back into  “waiting at the end of time”  again

you write  “ the thing with quality is that it takes effort and energy ”

well that's right on the nail !

many years ago I used to be like you but everything always turned out so badly for me, that I figured it was better to continually put in the work and energy as the path of least pain ! :o)

I still really screw up, but I get some things really right that save my butt, like the biofilm carbohydrate diet and compendium !

diabetes is a  function  of elevated sugar  (glucose)  levels in the blood

this excess glucose can damage tissues and the vascular system throughout the body and diabetes is associated with blindness, nerve damage in the extremities and kidney disease

cross  seeding  from amyloid aggregates in the pancreas to the brain ?

type two diabetics  lose  executive function in the brain !