this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don’t warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems  index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of  the page

audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed  !

“ there just is what is ”

there just is what isn’t


“ there just is what is ”

there just is what isn’t

what is the limit of verbal inquiry ?





what is the limit of verbal inquiry ?

there is no limit

its not that you don’t understand, but can’t ever understand

mary berry ,  a/the comfy middle class existance


the intrusion

her son killed at 19 in a car accident !

from the book of serenity

zhaozhou asked touzi  :  when someone who has undergone the great death then returns to life, how is it ? ”

touzi replied  :  he can’t go by night   —   he should arrive in daylight

my  comment

he should go by both night and day(light?)

refutation circles











refutation circles











refutation circles, circle endlessly

refutation circles











she was







be savage

ed.  on j. k. rowling

i had a really odd dream, i lived near her and was part of her social circle and suprisingly fell in love with her, but it was not reciprocated !

from watching  this  i think !

i am not a fan of harry potter at all, just something in her personality to that extent that sort of thing is !

on ebay people seem to pay  too much  too !

the past couple of weeks with wallabies aplenty has led me to eating a lot of testicles

this, especially since i only cook them for ten minutes at 85 celsius has inadvertenly put me on testosterone replacement therapy about which i have some observations !

the biggest problem is developing  “ back pumps ”  (a common side effect amongst weight lifters taking steroids)  which caused back pain and noticable tightness in the gut due to increased production of red blood cells

now i have stopped eating the testicles, or perhaps will cook them more to denature the hormones, the  “ back pumps ”  has gone, but i expect the back pain to remain some weeks, in other words its not a trivial side effect !

stopping the eating of the testicles has given me a massive migraine and now i think of it, the period of eating the testcles was remarkably migraine free, another effect of testosterone replacement therapy !

the rebound migraine really sucks though !

the effects of testosterone  (and other androgen)  therapies  on the blood  should really give anyone pause, perhaps there is a subset of the population it suits, but imo its dangerous !

i have to say this has been one of the weirdest experiences of my life, the high red blood cells are a dangerous condition and to know what the feeling is like when you could be on the road to dying of it gives an unwanted insight

the pain of the rebound migraine was out of this world and stuffing my back as well is not good !

way off the planet in terms of my usual disasters ! : o(

migraine  :  pain  pain  pain  pain

. .



migraine  :  pain  pain  pain  pain

migraine  : o (  pain  pain  pain

migraine  :  pain  pain  pain

if you were to ask me what life is about ,  i would say it has some hidden truth that is perhaps not so hidden but is difficult to understand

if you were to ask me what life is about ,  it has some hidden truth that is perhaps not so hidden but is difficult to understand

where you have people, of necessity you have endless refutation

where you have people you have endless refutation

with respect to buddhism, i don’t know why brad warner spends his time selling what disses him ! ?

britanny is a  slow adder

“ the one girl i know that transitioned is having problems due to hrt.  it gave him constant mood swings and a hemmoraging stroke

ed.  exogenous testosterone increases the red blood cell count to a problematic degree !

he is hardly tolerable to be around anymore and he constantly cries

i checked him into a state psych hospital and he was transferred to a long term facility near wichita falls ”

the rate of  acceleration  sea level wise is 84 microns a year adding up to 65cm by 2100 !

jason  writes

i don’t have much experience to say what being an adult is like

my reply

well you’re an adult and that’s the experience, you are expected to fend for yourself  !

i can tell you tenants who keep the place tidy, pay on time and don’t do damage are a gift from god !

we are endlessly lost in ourselves

its in this being lost that we know where we are

we are endlessly lost in ourselves

its this being lost that we know where we are

we are endlessly lost in ourselves,

its this being lost that we know where we are

zen is an endless refutation

of the competence of anyone except yourself

the trick is for that to be true !

left  to  right

pavel ,  reska/regina  auschwitz 1944 ,  rosa  (died before the war) ,  lidia  stutthof camp ,  tobias  auschwitz ,  aliza  auschwitz 1944

family life like that seems to have meaning, in loss we ask the meaning ?

i find it inconceivable that there aren’t other universes that have different laws and can’t support life and maybe a few that can support life with different laws !

stephen fry  on cocaine

he has an interesting family history, half jewish, some of his mother’s family were  murdered  in the holocaust !

why does everyone in the discussion about failure of peter cook’s later career walk around him being an alcoholic ?

why does almost everyone in the discussion about failure of peter cook’s later career walk around him being an alcoholic ?

i think what’s wrong with these zen  “ dialogues ”  is they have to prove something to each other !

if you are really confident you don’t have to prove anything , but don’t want to get bogged down in conversation with these mortals, but go on to develop the really interesting stuff yourself !

“ the seven hours of sleep we typically get every night often doesn’t feel like enough.  compared with our fellow primates, which spend around twelve hours of each day slumbering, humans barely get any shut-eye

it seems we have evolved to limit how long we sleep, and that may simply be because we have more important things to do with our time

however, the trade-off might have left us  more susceptible  to alzheimer’s disease ”

“ welcome to  our pharmacy

it takes me the better part of an hour to stand and fill both of their medication ”

neo nazis know nothing  of history

neo nazis know nothing of history

carrie fisher gives  a good account  of being manic !

ewk on r|zen clearly fits the description of hypomanic !

lol, is there anybody stephen fry doesn’t know ?

lithium water

notions of reincarnation are a quasi-solipsist mechanism arguing for the centrality of yourself

notions of reincarnation are a quasi-solipsist mechanism arguing for the centrality of self

i think why the underlying problem of north korea having nuclear weapons is the intense focus and instability of decision making at the senior level due to the kim personality cult !

basically north korea will have to change its system of government and that of course is being strenuously resisted !

over centralization of power was also behind the fiascos of the german and russian war efforts in world war II, though stalin eventually conceded his ineptitude and let the generals run the war !

basically north korea’s development of potentially effective ballistic nuclear weapons is re-igniting the korean war and you can’t pretend its not happening !

in the context of the titanic’s final hours and parallels with depression, we all know what the iceberg is, but unlike the panicked helmsman, you want to steer away from it and not towards it and thus steered the ship does eventually move from the fatal course !

i have seen so many hell bent on collision with the iceberg, the remedies of exercise, diet, supplements and being  ‘ out in nature ’  they steer away from !

its an odd thing, but i researched the titanic quite obsessively some years ago but had forgotten

there is some very good but obscure info on the web you can glean

an explanation for the ship hitting the very visible iceberg was in the panic the helmsman steered the opposite direction he was told to go because he would have trained on a sailing ship which inverts the steering direction, which may have been a common problems in those days of transition

the ship would have sunk very much more slowly if they had stopped steaming after the  “ contact ” ,  this continuing under steam was bizarre

the actual iceberg was photographed by the chief steward of the SMS prinz adalbert liner with the  red paint marks  on

the ice was unusually far south for that time of year

the wireless operator who worked for  “ marconi ”  neglected to pass the information on about ice in the area from another ship

the captain didn’t think that modern liners could sink

they couldn’t get quality rivets when the ship was built because of supply shortages and made do with what were obviously unsatisfactory rivets

the ship was barely economic because of intense competition and the last throw of the dice by the owner

it was a disaster in more ways than one !

hmm   .   .   it was no wonder archimedes  was killed ,  the romans wanted vengance !

his artillery engines and grappling hooks made what should have been a pushover into  a nightmare  !

interestingly archimedes seemed to understand  “ defense in depth ”  !

there are two skill levels

the first is identifying a problem and criticizing or avoiding it

the second and higher is to use the disagreement as an impetus to providing the correction

so you have this process of generating corrections as you move through error

enlightenment is misinterpreted as having been through a singularity

its more a trajectory

i don’t believe in singularities, they are a nonsense condition !

another woman  clueless  about the damage travelling across time zones does to the unborn child !

drugs don’t give meaning

not what the druggies will tell you though !

drugs don’t give meaning

jason asked nerites if she found it difficult to be herself ?

“ no i find it difficult to exist and not kill myself ”

my  comment

man these female streamers are a club of sorts !

some of these bipolar or manic/hypomanic crazies on the net seem like they go fullbore with their craziness forever

well that’s the trap with them, they do  .   .

until about fifty when their brains have burnt out

keep away from them, they will diss your life for twenty years and not blink   .   .

alma deutscher never went to school so her talent wasn’t squashed out of her !

jason  writes

well you know i took hallucinogenic mushrooms and went to the beach where i sat on a pile of sand where a lifeguard stand would be

where i closed my eyes for a while and when i opened them the sky and ocean was showing more color than i had noticed before

well before i opened my eyes i had a vision of what seemed to be a past life of a young asian man like eighteen or nineteen at a buddhist monastery with a lot of young children and teenagers

‘ i ’  was in the courtyard and i was surrounded by thirty or more of these other younger people while i was being cheered on and picked up and i had this big smile on my face and everyone else was happy and smiling too

don’t know what they were cheering about, or if it was just some drug induced imagination thing

my  comment

your experience with hallucinogenic mushrooms was typical of drug experiences and why they are a waste of time, the brain is too random and the experience is meaningless

“ i was at work sitting at the computer the first week the manager started and she came up to me and when i looked up at her she had some white powder in her nostril ” 

is any young woman in new york not an alcoholic or on drugs ?

500mg  (ed.  half a gram)  is an upper amount of taurine, also its not necessary to take it every day

its an immune exciter, so can make joint problems worse

all the suburban morons in their little boxes

a woman will feel connected to her children, but never really connected to their father

a woman will feel connected to her children, but never really connected to her husband

the net seems to be moving strongly into  “ confessional ”  mode recently  (a la rousseau?)

brad warner’s niece posts a  youtube

my  comment

the point about reincarnation or reconstructing past lives is that it makes no less sense than anything else about what might have existed when you didn’t exist !

so you have this basic unsolvable problem of what is the meaning of when we don’t exist !

exercise is a basic for depression, taurine and mk-7/k2 help, there’s a lot you can do to get off the titanic !

looking at religion is like watching a kettle boil dry

a lot of energy to what point ?

looking at religion is like watching a kettle boil dry

a lot of energy to no effect !

looking at r|zen is like watching a kettle boil dry

a lot of energy to what point ?

looking at r|zen is like watching a kettle boil dry

a lot of energy to no effect !

jason writes  :  well if i said that  (ed. something nerites mightn’t like)  i might get banned

my  comment

well you only learn by pushing the boundaries

the male form of shit testing !

nerites is very shallow and doesn’t like hints of deeper waters

i’ve got it all written up on the web


i don’t have to bother with interviews or fame or


 explaining   .   .   .

i’ve got it all written up on the web


i don’t have to bother with interviews or fame

unconciousness is not the same as death

when you regain conciousness, you come back to the world as it was

when you die, all the terms are dissolved

is there a god ?

yes there is

but it is difficult to know him or her or whatever


there’s no sincerity in telling a lie, even if you think its the truth


in this karoke world, alma deutscher  cuts the ice  from under them

christianity, mohammedanism and buddhism, such narrow worlds of pretence and brain farts !

religion, such a narrow world of pretence and brain farts !

r|zen, such a narrow world of pretence and brain farts !

condemed man to the crowd

it seems such an odd thing, soon i will be gone and will only exist in your memories

you can imitate the style, but you can’t imitate the meaning

you can imitate the style, but you can’t imitate the sense

jason  writes

i sent james the picture of nerites and he responded

All these young girls look the same like they were mass produced

I wish people would just be themselves, no make up no hands on hips and show who they truely are

Anyone can put a ton of make up on and look glamorous

What is the real self ?

No one knows anymore

but she is beautiful but everyone is in their own way

employers who require employees to get sick notes for the flu from a doctor are stupid and entitled, the employee will just pick up yet another virus !

there’s always more the one virus floating around !

jason  writes

nerites is into  cosplay

my  reply

nerites may be from the kazakh steppes, but all women seem to be the same

taurine can cause sleep problems, red bull has one gram in, i can’t understand how people cope with that much, possibly it degrades ?

metafolin/ L-methylfolate  (a form of the vitamin folate)  makes a good knock down

everyone has their own griefs, but they are yours and not others, don’t expect others to understand them

if you were to characterise me, i would say i was unsuccessful


there is a sadness to being childless


there is a sadness to being childless

as meaningless as building the pyramids


as meaningless as building the pyramids

i’m a woman, therefore everything revolves around me, particularly my need to breed

i’m a woman, therefore everything revolves around me

steven fry giving a good account of his  prostate cancer and treatment, he obviously had the best advice, its interesting how straightforward it is when you can afford that, and i think english culture is more medically rational than american !

i don’t prioritize my own life enough

isaac newton fell into the trap of treating voynich as something more than what it is !

he fell into the trap of treating voynich as something more than what it is !

i was lying in bed listening to the magpies

it seems like they were talking

being magpies, they probably are

i am lying in bed listening to the magpies

it seems like they are talking

being magpies, they probably are

audrey hepburn  died of metastatized appendiceal cancer, she starved in the dutch famine near the end of WWII

who am i ?

where am i going ?







do ?

who am i ?

where am i going ?







 do ?

i was thinking about the  intellectual failure  of isaac newton when it came to philosophical and theological thinking, quite unlike leonardo da vinci btw

newton’s strength was when he interacted with physical reality, prisms, astronomy etc. he developed from interaction with that reality

the problem with philosophy and mysticism is its only self observation which can supply the reality to test against and he just lacked that introspection and hence imagining ancient texts to be some sort of  “ house built on rock ”  was always so far off target that his non scientific writings look absurd today !

being conversant with latin he should have been alive to the problems of translation so the issues must have been an aversion to introspection and poetry !

in the end you can’t be good at two things and he had the conceit to think he could be !

religion is the preserve of the state and coerced by the state, otherwise it has no meaning

arianism  versus trinitarianism

nonsense about nonsense

so obvious to us

but then ?

you’re tired









what good does it do to get angry with ferals

the universes don’t impinge !


once there, no longer here

once there, no longer here

the jehovah’s witnesses must be really desperate, they are talking to my neighbour again !

on r|zen you get an audience but at a cost

no-one agrees with you

they are all obnoxious and stupid

better only one or two on your own subbreddit

took me a long time to accept this !

i’m using taurine now instead of magnesium taurate

magnesium taurate is 80% taurine and its really the taurine that does the work

i am getting very good results by going to good quality taurine rather than taking magnesium taurate, however the amounts need to be kept quite small, possibly under 150mg or you can develop sleep problems

my basic supplementation is vitamin D, mk-7 (K2), taurine, selenomethione  (plus possibly methylselenocysteine) ,  topical iodine, occasional houston zyme, pep and no fenol enzymes, very occasional folapro

occasional vit E for migraine, but taurine has helped hugely with migraine

selenium supplementation may not be needed in the usa as some areas have quite high selenium in the soils

yulia lipnitskaya’s gold medal  performance  from sochi 2014

she was playing the  “ red girl ”  in schindlers list to the music from the film, her own idea and she persisted to be able to do it !

she retired last year citing  anorexia

when i think about it is these girls are pushed way too hard through their developing years and the sport is just littered with physical and psychological wrecks !

i find the whole thing very odd, young lives warped for what end ?

i must say, eteri tutberidze seems oblivious to the toll extracted on her charges !

hmm    .   .   .

the other side, eteri  comforting  evgenia  ( 0 to fourteen seconds)

its like a very distorted world, within all the craziness, all the female mechanisms still operate !

emperor wu of liang asked bodhidharma,

what is the supreme holy truth of buddhism ?

bodhidharma replied

emptiness, without holiness


emperor wu of liang asked the seventh patriarch

what is the supreme holy truth

the seventh patriarch replied

infinity and its accessible to us

alina zagitova  virtuoso

what the  life  is like

there’s an interesting problem of the peak age being so young that even eighteen years old can be outcompeted !

a very interesting  interview  with coach eteri tutberidze

it all looks obsessive crazy to me and not worth the injury !

from what science now tells us, those falls will be causing cumulative brain damage, a very toxic sport !

still    .    .    .

zhenya medvedeva and eteri tutberidze  mythologised

academics are retards

this is the way the world is

blind retards chewing on the blinds

academics are retards

this is the way the world is

blind retards clawing at the blinds

why he works !

covering  5.6 mya homonin  footprints  !

the west tries to make philosophies out of what are essentially religions, buddhism and daoism

women have children, but they don’t get paid for it

they pay for it

people confuse education with the real world

i think people confuse education with the real world

prayer wheels are medieval automation

no matter how many times  you turn  a prayer wheel, it can never complete

no matter how many times you turn a prayer wheel, it can never complete

the druids are not  our ancestors  who came from  the steppes

the buddhist influence on western philosophy is substantial and goes back almost three hundred years

today’s western buddhists parade around like esoteric whores with their  “ newfound ”  knowledge, but in fact buddhism has been an  instrumental  part of western philosophy since the 1730’s

very similar to john keats and the  “ romantic poets ”  who were very influenced by sufi and islamic poetry !

we are all caught in semantic coils, the way we express ourselves is the problem

we are all caught in the semantic coils, the way we express ourselves is the problem

the world is not some mild upside down or topsy turvy, its raging pyschosis  !

the world is not some mild upside down or topsy turvy, its raging pyschosis

deathbed confession

for a while i existed in a certain way and then i am gone

deathbed confession

i existed in a certain way and then i am gone

going in circles

there’s something  to this

vaping coils potentially  emit  unsafe levels of lead, chromium, manganese and/or nickel

the downside of exercise is it is like mileage on a car, it wears the joints

also, like a car a small amount of constant mileage is necessary for optimal condition !

the downside of exercise is it is like mileage on a car, it wears the joints

caroline burt’s  (a streaming friend of jason)  video  is all about sugar

a generation brought up think what they eat is without consequence !

caroline must have a strong male streak, that’s why she is so obsessed with pink

she’s gender blurred and autistic !

“ of the fifty-seven thousand cases of early-onset dementia  (before the age of 65,   the majority   (57%)  were related to chronic heavy drinking ”

a poem by  sepehr

The stories of Jesus, Muhammad, and Buddha

truly are unreal.

Everything is okey-dokie,

even their deaths are given meaning.


But Mani,

now that story is real.

A sense of uneasiness permeating,

his death in the cellar, no meaning.

well its the amount of alcohol versus the amount of pot smoked

the point is that pot use does damage the brain compared to not smoking pot at all, the problems with alcohol are well known !

all the heavy pot users i have seen obviously have real life brain damage

when i have really tried to get  to grips  with ewk ,  the mods delete me

they are contributing to his insanity and using him to promote their buji viewpoints

the problem on r|zen is not ewk, but the particularly toxic ,  (criminally negligent even)  mods !

jason has some thoughts on his experiences watching twitch

i need more deconstruction time and less music listening

is trauma always a positive learning experience ?  do you want to avoid trauma ?

i think i should continue watching the streamers, where i think i’ve gone wrong is getting involved in their discords since there are just so many insane males, and some females, in the servers

there are a lot of these schizophrenic troll assholes on twitch  .  .   these gamers

and as you saw with brittany’s first interviews that we saw where her friend asks if she would like to join his harem and do a threesome, they play characters and can’t really distinguish reality from this

so they say a lot  “ nigger, kill yourself faggot, neck yourself ”  (ed. to brittany)  course they’ll say they’re just joking.  they do a lot of drugs and drink a lot

so idk if i’m being sensitive and fragile or ?  i think charles bukowski knew how to fit in with these kind of people from his going to bars

i just joined a new server for this young woman from england, brittany  ‘ hosted ’  her channel which is how i saw her.  i submitted a video to brittany’s stream the other day and the english girl was laughing , then i went on her stream and i was typing about brittany and other things and she was responding

i said something like  “ eventually all these damaged people will get to you ” ,  and she responded  “ i know, its just part of the job ”

caroline burt, ice poseidon’s ex, has the most toxic trolls in her chat  .  .   she closed it down not too long ago and reopened it.  she was in brittany’s chat one day and i told her brittany’s chat is more relaxed cuz you have to pay to join

well i turned off the music and computer last night and was sitting up in bed when i just started to enter a different space, like i walked into a new room i suppose   .  .   felt like massachusetts when i was getting a lot of contemplative time in

i guess what i’m dealing with is non-autistics ?  the streamers that i follow seem autistic but i’m bad telling who really has autism

i suspect there’s a lot of cat fishing going on too

these people love to doxx and will get you swatted if they don’t like you

like in caroline’s discord server i uploaded my internet download and upload speed and it showed my ip address when i posted a screen shot of it

i’ve shared some photos of myself

and the first interview i had with brittany she and her henchman got me to say a restaurant some blocks away from me, which they did on purpose of course

why do you think i’m getting pwned by brittany ?  well i do have some egotistical issues that brittany has been pointing out to me, and i keep forgetting she’s playing a character

i think with time i will get better at these fencing match interviews and yeah she may react even more strongly than that woman i met in massachusetts

brittany uploaded a new video to youtube  “ brittany venti talks to virgins online on valentine’s ”  well she edited the video to make sure i looked like an even bigger idiot

my  comment

streaming i feel is giving you good life experience, don’t worry about brittanny’s editing of the virgins video, its harmless and telling you about how she operates, making entertainment, her big donors won’t be on that for sure, just remember she needs an income

however from a practical point of view you need to be gaining animal handling and administrative skills at work, its a question of what you put your time to

“ well i turned off the music and computer last night and was sitting up in bed when i just started to enter a different space, like i walked into a new room i suppose  .  .   felt like massachusetts when i was getting a lot of contemplative time in ”

yeah, that’s what it is about

jason  replies

yeah i didn’t take the editing of the video too personally, we had a good conversation

this streamer i’ve been watching has been to kazahkstan nine times, she’s seventeen and is half english half kazahk

sort of reminds me of brittany when she was younger and streaming, so i feel like there’s more hope.  her name is neritesOG  .  .   not as intelligent as brittany but there’s something to her i think besides that she’s pretty and autistic

i pointed out to her that her discord and stream chat are a bit toxic and she agreed

i guess i have to make my own decision if i want to interact with the streamer’s viewers but like i explained they’re so fucked up.  the guys in caroline’s discord will go into voicechat and i talked once.  these people remind me of my ex friend who tried to steal my xbox

prose is not up to explaining what mystical reality is about

it can’t shift sense enough

it  is in the transition through different senses that the work is done

prose is not up to explaining what mystical reality is about

politics is very dunning-kruger ,  people are very hubric about what they don’t know

how else could the iraq war have been started ?

politics is very dunning-kruger ,  people are very hubric about what they don’t know

how else could wars be started ?

politics is very dunning-kruger ,  people are very hubric about what they don’t know

politics is very dunning-kruger

its not a perfect world and somethings can assist out of all proportion to the effort expended !

a good  article  on pablo picasso

what they don’t mention is that   marie-thérèse  comitted suicide four years after picasso’s death !

an odd sort of omission ?

i find programming difficult to understand theoretically, you just have to do a lot of it !

i always find it amusing that with religions, people who are so anti-artistic and view themselves as so down-to-earth follow fiction so faithfully as if it were true !

i always find it amusing that with religions, people who are so anti-artistic follow fiction so faithfully as if it were true !

only women could think men worthwhile

only men could think women worthwhile

only women could think men worthwhile

the greatest paintings have a certain level of inanity about them

i’ve come to a crisis point of putting too much time and energy into zen message boards so i’m going to have to go cold turkey and stop reading which is all that seems to work for me !

life is like a man building sandcastles on the shore and each day the tide wipes it out and he builds again only to lose again until he can no longer build and himself is washed out to sea  .  .  .

fructose is processed in the small intestine, but rate limited, so overflows go into the bloodstream, some of which ends up as fat in the liver or remain in the gut lumen thence to feed  colonic microbiota

so clearly  excessive amounts  of fructose at one time are a problem !

the arguments against plastic surgery are the same as against trans operations and hormones, the induction of health problems and disfigurement risk by disrupting finely tuned dynamical biological systems !

michael jackson’s nose for instance is proof of bone remodelling with different skin and tissue tension coming from his surgery !

plastic surgery is a medical procedure and like all medical procedures the known problems and risks can be offset by the repair of a major issue like burns and stretched skin

trans have high rates of schziophrenia and suicide !

dr. richard carrier in his disproof of the historical existence of jesus goes through what is required to prove the historical non-existence of a religious founder  (buddha in this case)

its not a minor effort, i would suggest you start there !

it requires quite a bit of historical research

i was brought up nominally christian, it took me years of work to understand jesus was a fiction because its so against the grain of cultural assumptions, i can’t spare you the work to sort it out yourself, have fun !

basically you need to look at the archaeological evidence, historical evidence and the degree to which the stories are memetic and can be traced to other religious or general literature of the time and non conformity to ordinary and historical reality !

for instance, every religious figure has a lot of hagiographical memes about their lives, but that doesn't invalidate their historicity, but if the entire life is memetic then that does !

in terms of buddha, there is good archaeological evidence that buddhism originally had no founding figure and memetically the family life comes from persian royalty !

the name gautama is taken from the murdered  (by darius I)  persian king  “ gaumata ”  who was  “ a man of the people ”

its such a huge amount of work to go through the detail, i don’t have the time or interest really !

one of the big things against the historical buddha is that history is invariably fatal to prophets, execution or death in prison ,  mani  is one of the rare historical prophets, his followers met an even worse end and there’s a later perisan prophet with a similar fate for him and his followers

mani’s  killer ,  from sculpture we know what he looks like which is a total thug !

the powers that be don’t take kindly to a disruption of the cultural belief system putting them on the outer !

though jesus’s crucifixion is memetic, the story does get that right !

interestingly the pharaoh  akhenaten  was essentially the prophet of a religion counter to the entrenched state one, it took him being pharaoh to make it stick while he was alive, but after his death all traces were removed !

sir henry neville being the real author of shakespeare’s works is another culturally ingrained error, very difficult to accept without man-weeks of research !

comment to jason  :  i gotta admit, from what i have seen of brittany venti, she’s a hell of alot of trauma !

you thought you knew some-one and it turns out you didn’t know them at all

you thought you knew some-one and then it turns out you didn’t know them at all

you think you know some-one and then it turns out you didn’t know them at all

alcohol makes people  aggressive  !

surprise !

are  “ practices ”  a means to an end or a means away from an end ?

are practices a means to an end or a means away from an end ?

pizza delivery has this huge hidden cost in the accident that is about to happen !

deliverers are simply subsidizing delivery to the advantage of the buyers and makers

such a toxic product too !

inhaling small particles causes  a decline  in lung function

the study authors found that the accelerated lung function decline in the women working as cleaners was  “ comparable to smoking somewhat less than twenty years of a pack-a-day ”

deconstruction is advice, but its not symmetric

zen having historically real  “ teachers ”

versus buddhism with its fictitious founder

i hadn’t really thought of it this way before, but its a huge difference

buddhism has its origin in deceit

but zen is reliant on  “ transmission outside the scriptures ”

why people seem to think zen is the dishonesty of organised religion i don’t know !

it always was the renegade !

what is zen ?

its a word in the public domain with multiple meanings



 simple !

donald stoker gives a  good talk  on carl von clausewitz at google

ester ledecka  wins  the women’s super-G by one hundredth of a second, but appears with ski googles on at the following news conference

“ because i wasn’t prepared to be at the ceremony and i don’t have makeup on ”


what the commentator called  “ mistakes ”  could have easily cut her time down !

life is always open ended and without resolution

why do we try to contain it ?

life is always open ended and without resolution

the interesting thing about carl von clausewitz is he was basically a failure as a military man, his one big success in perusading the prussians to abandon the french grande armée and join the russian - german legion was more of a diplomatic coup

but his insights on war were born of defeat and failure which is really the truest base for understanding, the insight that springs from success is limited !

failure follows success as night follows day !

collections eventually fall by the wayside

you’re a collector, collections eventually fall by the wayside

patience is the enemy of stupidity

war is a mess of ineptitude and the least inept wins

impatience is the mother of stupidity

new testament deconstruction

You have heard it said  ‘ An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth ’ 

But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you

revenge is a waste of time, punishment not necessarily so

to love your enemies is a form of hari kiri

Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life ?

worrying can add years to your life when it progresses to productive action !

Can you give an example of something in the ten precepts you consider psychotic ?

ed.  listed below with my rebuttal under each one

Not to kill or encourage others to kill

kill in self defence or war

Not to steal or encourage others to steal

steal if you can get away with it and its a large sum of money or whatever and its not disadvantaging those close to you

Not to engage in licentious acts or encourage others to do so.  A monk is expected to abstain from sexual conduct entirely

monks and monasteries are famous for various perversions, pope benedict was sacked because the vatican under his influence has become too obviously gay  (i’m not saying  “ gay ”  is a perversion, just an example of more going on behind the scenes sexually than the public face, greek orthodox is especially notorious for homosexuality)

Not to use false words and speech, or encourage others to do so

when the secret police are torturing you, you immediately blab on all your friends etc because  “ thou shalt not tell a lie ”

Not to trade or sell alcoholic beverages or encourage others to do so

what’s wrong with selling alcohol, like prohibition wasn’t a complete disaster !

actually i think prohibition has its place with rural aboriginal communities in australia, they just have no genetic protection against addiction !

Not to broadcast the misdeeds or faults of the Buddhist assembly, nor encourage others to do so

this is just pretence, some misdeeds should be held accountable and publicised

Not to praise oneself and speak ill of others, or encourage others to do so

some self promotion is always necessary or the bastards will just walk all over you

Not to be stingy, or encourage others to do so

“ stingy ”  is simply a perspective, living within your means and  “ thrift ”  are other ways of looking at it !

Not to harbor anger or encourage others to be angry

you can’t not harbor anger, but you can be rational about it !

Not to speak ill of the Buddha, the Dharma or the Sangha  (literally  ‘ the Triple Jewel ’ )  or encourage others to do so

the buddha, dharma and sangha are just toxic swill by bullshitters !

happy ?

I disagree

well i got some good writing out of  “ your disagreement ”

. .




there’s a billion million  ‘ rules of life ’  guides out there, if there’s no historical buddha why would you raise the ten precepts up above all the other crazy shit ?

if you read them they are actually more psychotic than just about everything else actually

its like the new testament, if jesus is a fiction  (which he is)  then it just reads as lunatic ravings !

the  link  you gave is most explicit about the context  “ being a disciple of buddha ”

that context is used to validate the ten precepts, once you take away the historical reality of   “ buddha ”’ they become apparent for what they are, just some form of mental illness and that’s easily seen with the hypocrisy of the san francisco zen center, some sort of deranged bastion of promiscuous sex and drug use !

did dogen go to china ?

what i find interesting is that some people read  the title  and take that as overwhelming evidence that eihei dogen never went to china

in fact steven heine, the author of the book says explicitly in it that he thinks dogen did in fact go to china !

new depths of attention deficit on the web !

jason, what works for you is your  blog ,  you need that  “ slow thinking ”  to be effective

ed.  compared to being  “ pwnd ”  in online debate with brittany venti !

what works for you is your blog, you need that  “ slow thinking ”  to be effective

when i first got onto the internet it was way more intelligent because it was new and dominated by   “ first adopters ”  and privacy was not such a concern

the rot started to set in as it became more popular to the point now where it is almost ruled by the dunning-kruger schizophrenics

the other side of the coin  (ed.  the combative nature of the internet)  is something intrinsic to publishing, you can write something that upsets people that you would never say to them in real life

i’m absolutely staggered at the damage the wallabies have done, they have cleaned out the parsley and chomped down on the silverbeet !

all the  new research  says some aerobic exercise is important, but i don’t seem to be motivated !

i’ll have to restart my morning run around the house or get digging the vege garden !

exercise also gets the blood pressure up !

when you work, the people you work with are a huge part of what you do

they can grow you, or they can crimp you

when you work, the people you work with are a huge part of what you do

between accident risk and breathing traffic fumes, there’s no way pizza delivery makes any sense !

women don’t take criticisms as anything less than a personal attack, unless they are a significant part of your life and there are negative consequences to you from the  “ schziophrenia ”  just leave their views alone !

the business only exists because it makes a profit !

ed.  where jason works and he replied that indeed, the owners of the veterinary practices make good money

businesses only exist because they make a profit !

i think therefore i am

i think therefore i’m not

brittany, despite her obvious intelligence, can’t escape the female viewpoint

brittany, despite her obvious intelligence, when all is said and done can’t escape the female viewpoint

does that apply to all women ?

well when i look at my relatives, most escape the female viewpoint !

jason  opines

tattoos are a way to show you have money, not really the healthiest way to do it

my  reply

i don’t think tattoos in any way show you have money !

in fact, the opposite !

people with money travel and will therefore know how problematic that tattoos are viewed in some countries because of criminal and gang associations !

the truth about eiehi dogen is he is dreadfully boring !

the truth about eiehi dogen is he can be dreadfully boring !

the truth about eiehi dogen is he can be dreadfully boring

the eagle is a hawk

writing ,  i don’t look for it, it needs to construct itself

writing, i don’t look for it, it needs to construct itself

i don’t practice or do zen, what would you have me do ?

i don’t practice or do zen

what would you have me do ?

samurai  :   reality  versus  fantasy

i think therefore i am

i don’t think therefore i’m not

is god prior to existance or existance prior to god  ?

is existance prior to god, or is god prior to existance  ?

is existance prior to god, or is god prior to existance

you can’t come at zen from any point except dai kensho ,  otherwise you are wasting your time !

be warned, dai kensho is life destroying

why not sit back and admit the limitation instead of shoe horning what you think zen is into suburban life ?

you can’t come at zen from any point except dai kensho ,  otherwise you are wasting your time !

be warned, dai kensho is life destroying

you can’t come at zen from any point except dai kensho ,  otherwise you are wasting your time !

its good practice to fence verbally  publicly ,  improves the competence

its good practice to fence verbally  publicly, improves the competence

its good practice to fence publicly, improves the competence

i was reading about descartes who sought objections to his ideas and i was thinking, a well handled subreddit is like that !

its when people have no purpose except to missionize unreal and rigid ideas that things go wrong, why people do this i do not know

successful subreddits always attract people who want it to go in a different direction so weasel their way into becoming mods !

i don’t think rules matter, its entirely who the mods are and their ability to communicate and be guided by a common process !

that is, that there is a subtext that arises from this !

the other thing i have found is it is necessary to ban schizophrenic behavior fairly quickly, these people are totally non-negotiable and usually have some missionizing platform

if allowed to persist they mess the whole subreddit and attitudes !

a far better explanation of god, is that god is not perfect, rather than being perfect

eat my dust  descartes !

a new koan, who is the true sex slave, the owner or slave ?

easiest significant bibliographical find  ever

just type in a few words to goggle and find the manuscript in the rare book section of toulouse municipal library, travel there and they show it to you !

women are always missionizing  ‘ relationships ’

a man of sense sees past that !

you prefer fantasy to history, dunning-kruger is what you practice !

brittany giving away how the  female thinks  when her boyfriend gets a haircut she dislikes !

the world is full of deceit and trickery, but their life gives them away .

learnt that with zen teachers !

what i have learnt over the years that if there’s problems with the life, then there’s problems with what they say !

j. krishnamurti had life issues as well, but rajneesh is over the top in any terms !

Are you implying that, for example  .  .  .   if the wisest words in human history were uttered by a man, but then this man commits a crime, these words are no longer wise nor useful ?

What if someone stumbles upon those words, ignoring the mentioned crimes ?

its not  “ crimes ”   rather things which show they are away with the fairies !

rajneesh’s 85  rolls royces ,  the bioterrorism plot was of course a very serious crime, his dying on laughing gas   .   .   .

but as you say good writing speaks for itself, this is where we really differ, to me he’s just talking smooth rubbish

he basically ran a sex club as u g krishnamurti pointed out !

what i have learnt over the years that if there’s problems with the life, then there’s problems with what they say !

r|zen has become toxic farce and the mods are clearly using ewk as a stalking horse for whatever aims they have !

There is nothing that is true, and there is nothing that is not true

there is something that is true and something that is not true !

joshu  case 59

a monk asked joshu, how can a monk justify the time his parents spent bring him up when he will never have a family ?

joshu  replied

he can’t

the monk asked  :  then what is the point ?

joshu  replied

there is a point !

the monk asked  :  what ?

joshu replied, find out for yourself !

you don’t know what you are talking about, but you can’t see that you don’t know what you are talking about, so you won’t behave in a rational way !

we have a culturally ingrained acceptance and development of the skill of projecting sense from voynich from the millennia of christian crap being foisted on us !

the same thing can be said for other cultures and religions !

those misguided ancient egyptians and their very concrete ideas of the afterlife

we have a culturally ingrained acceptance and development of the skill of projecting sense from voynich from the millennia of christian crap being foisted on us !

i’m always talking from the perspective of one who has lived by themselves for most of their life, you have to be ultra rational, there’s no forgiveness for mistakes !

if you are living by yourself, you have to be more rational than most

its hard, but you don’t get the benefit of other viewpoints unless you solicit them !

if you are living by yourself, you sorta have to be more rational than most

its hard, but you don’t get the benefit of other viewpoints unless you solicit them !

if you are living by yourself, you have to be more rational than most

if you are living by yourself, you sorta have to be more rational than most

if we’re too irrational, we become schizophrenic  !

if we’re too irrational, we become schizophrenic !

if we’re too irrational, we become schizophrenic

if we’re too irrational we become schizophrenic

brittany is  pained  and i don’t blame her !

you can make mistakes, that doesn’t necessarily make you incompetent, does the mistake include the beginnings of recovery from it ?

you can make mistakes, that doesn’t necessarily make you dunning-kruger, does the mistake include the beginnings of recovery from it ?

sterility   aridity   ‘ emptiness ’

sterility  aridity  ‘ emptiness ’

sterility, aridity ,  ‘ emptiness ’

sterility, aridity,   ‘ emptiness ’

sterility, aridity, emptiness

rejection is truer than acceptance

there’s a simpler principle than dunning-kruger, its the necessity of incompetence


for a calculating woman you sure don’t calculate very well

for a calculating woman you don’t calculate very well

i think  this  has happened to a friend, deeply unsettling, they are not the person you knew !

a brief glimpse of the old person, it makes you cry !

“ I’m  Courtney ” 

pink pistols

ed. CourtneyySmoke, 21yo streamer in a shooter game

oddly the only person doing any shooting around here is me, endless wallabies from the drought !

dropped one last night charging at me, it lost the right side of its head

close shots can be surprisingly hard !

jason  advises

better than call of duty to get your rage out

why did it charge you ?

my  reply

well i had just shot its friend !

they just run/hop like hell without much regard to what they might bump into when they think they should get the hell out !

i don’t have any rage, like it just a business thing, food or to save the vege garden, but i will say it has altered my perspective on life, seeing its casual brutality !

off to eat more testicles, brains, prostates and thyroids !

since there is a good possibility bodhidharma was executed at heyin as part of an  “ in group ”  now an ”  out group ”  i would say politics is intrinsic to zen !

there are moments darling when you go  too far

but there is no  “ too far ”  !

linji yixuan expresses his distaste for yet another dunning-kruger syndrome and does all he can do   .   .   .

linji visited the stupa at yuji  (where bodhidharma was buried).  the custodian asked linji  “ do you bow to the buddha first, or to bodhidharma first ? ”

linji replied  “ i don’t bow to either of them ”

the custodian asked  “ why are you and the buddha and bodhidharma enemies ? ”

linji shook out his sleeves and went away

ed. translation from reginald blyth’s   ‘ games zen masters play ’

see the problem with dunning-kruger types is you are arguing the base, that they don’t know what they are talking about !

how can there be any resolution with that sort of ongoing argument ?

not exactly beatrix potter is it ?

entitled ,  super competent, invincible, slightly bizarre wrong minded millenial escapism !


the monk zhixian challenges abbess moshan liaoran with the question, how can a woman understand ultimate truth ?

the abbess replied that it was not a matter of male or female form !

from eihei dogen’s essay  ‘ raihaitokuzui ’

since buddha was a fiction, i just don’t see that there is any underlying reality to buddhism  !

since buddha was a fiction, i just don’t see that there is any underlying reality to buddhism

the sadness of charles dickens is he is too true to life

I can only be 100 percent certain of what I see.  I only see the present, even if I think I am seeing memories of the past in the present, its still the present.  Thus I don’t have reason to believe the past isn’t real

philosophy is so easy to deconstruct

seeing defers to a referent

what it refers to  “ I ” ,  what is that ?

is it seen ?

in terms of autism and autistic spectrum you will get greater genetic and functional fault tolerance for girls compared to boys, but i suspect they present differently !

jason  writes

getting involved in other people’s lives

i neglect my own


women are like cats, they might not look like much but they can fuck you up just as bad and even worse than a dog !


put it on the page

and leave it there


 there are so many drug addled online  .   .

there really are so many drug addled online

jason, i think you are too artistic for streaming, the audiences like for zen are extremely anti intellectual and artistic !

jason, i notice is starting to reprocess a lot of the stuff that happened to him, that is the real zen !

i ate some fresh wallaby brains last night a bit late, combined with sleep its almost a literal hallucinogen !

morecambe and wise, hubric dunning-kruger  versus  the super competent !

morecambe and wise, dunning-kruger versus the super competent !

jason designs  his logo  !

jason  writes

charles bukowski didn’t want to go fight in world war II, what would you have done if you were asked to enlist ?

his friend who tried to convince him to join died while fighting in the war

my  reply

he also avoided working in the shipyards and getting exposure to asbestos as well !

if he had gone to the war, i think he would have become a totally different person !

ed.  he was imprisoned for seventeen days in 1944 as a draft doger, but released as schizophrenic/ 4-F which i think was a con job by him !

jason thinks it was smart by him if true, i wondered why he was let go for being  ‘ crazy ’

my  reply

i could fake being  “ crazy ”  quite easy ?

you would have to be consistent though !

i wonder if marzia and pewdiepie will ever  break up  ?

doesn’t seem like it, but you never know, pewdiepie gives the impression of being corralled a bit !

from world war I to iraq

traumatic brain  injury

“ mild ”  like  “ shell shock ”  is deceitful !

today’s woman, highly sexualised,   can’t cook ,  fights alot !

not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you

angels have no thought of ever returning you

would they be angry if I thought of joining you

sarah mclachlan’s  cover  of   rezső saeres’s  song   “ gloomy sunday ”

[serious]  what is the essential meaning of the buddha dharma ?

what is the essential meaning of  ‘ the essential meaning ’

with houses, they should be away from power lines and transformers and the internal mains cabling laid with an understanding about emf !

no, i’m not ever posting on r|zen again !

i don’t want people asking me to come back which has happened previously !

you absolutely cannot go past the two pillars of mystical understanding, quality reading and substantial amounts of solitary contemplative time, neither of which the people on r|zen accept any correction on, their main activity being reading pap and missionizing their viewpoint derived from that !

i . n . s . a . n . e  !

 my  last OP  there  !

for emf, my experience is that unless it is done at the design and manufacturing stage, its difficult to control except by distance !

brittany’s donation guy  ($20k over several months)  is likely some very wealthy autistic type

good for him, he’s making her available to you  (ed. jason)  to learn about women from !

from his point of view she’d be a cheap/inexpensive female interest !

i take a very self-centered view of these things and it always turns out to be right !

r|zen for instance was people donating their time free to me to teach me something i was having a lot of trouble picking up and i eventually did !

religion is basically the enshrinement of dunning-kruger syndrome !

what you will find with someone like brittany venti is they reach a certain level and never go any further, i won’t even say the potential is there !

history is the reconstruction of the past

of course, i was just thinking, we all stream ourselves all the time to the only audience that matters

jason  writes

something interesting about watching streamers is that i learn about their lives and them but they don’t really know much at all about me

sort of makes conversation with them strange

being female is being an expert of being female

they are all quite conscious of it !

being female is being an expert of being female

the problem with the web is it is leaking schizophrenics from every corner with crank opinions, idiocy and outright psychosis !

you can waste your life arguing with them, that’s what they want !

these people don’t study history !


they just talk ignorant bullshit that evaporates when they no longer give it attention !

dunning-kruger  syndrome !

the problem with the web is it is leaking schizophrenics from every corner with crank opinions, idiocy and outright psychosis !

what pale lives we lead

ibn battuta 


regularity ,  history is granularity

regularity, history is granularity

the granularity of history is regular

regular, the granularity of history

what is it

what do i look for



 i ?

what is it

what can i look for



 i ?

lost on a  dark night ,  a black dog !

owner’s excuse  :  the street lights were out and she just disappeared !

lorianne replied

her collar has a light on it we turn on when she’s outside after dark

r|zen is a discussion about zen, but what is zen about ?

1,218   drones

prerecorded for the opening ceremoney at the 2018 winter olympics in south korea

isabella of france  :  warlord, machiavellian and mother

man ,  what a life  !

the  epitath  of her favourite grandson, the black prince !

̲  _   regular ,  the granules of history 

 more dream words

̲  _   regular ,  the granules of history 

the thing about women is they look normal ,  and then they do something that is utterly not understandable

jason  writes

i’ve called out theksepyro several times linking him in the comment and he’s never responded

my  reply

he doesn’t have to respond, he has control of the subbreddit, he really is only accountable to the other mods

its a dictatorship and like hitler and the nazis, the mods of r|zen are some combination of retarded, autistic and insane !

ewk is their bro !

music is so competitive now, that what you do as a musician or composer wants to be good !

tattoos are toxic

they have poisonous inks and nanoparticles and are allergenic !

the plus side of twitch/streaming is it appears to be  “ safe ” ,  which is perhaps not quite what you expect, but its very public nature keeps things in line

inclined communion, noised world fight


yup, from a dream !

how would shakespeare get hold of an  obscure manuscript  by a minor figure in the court of queen elizabeth ?

whereas it is quite conceivable that other ambassador, sir henry neville could !

thomas kyd ,  co-author of edward III with sir henry !

maybe at the root of recovery from addiction to a substance or activity is developing an aversion to it, you at last perceive some problem with it and how it is hurting you !

maybe at the root of recovery from addiction to a substance or activity is developing an aversion to it, you at last perceive some problem with it

what is life ?

what are you asking ?

i went to devonport the day before yesterday, but because i had spent too much time on the net and particularly r|zen, i didn’t have enough time to walk along the park by the river and it was a beautiful day with the green tree foliage and the shade just wonderful in these hot dry conditions   .   .

so i am beginning to think that at this point my involvement  ( which is a never ending battle and defensive action to anything i post to those idiots and the mentally ill ) with r|zen, like any addiction is having a negative effect on my life   .   .

perhaps i am losing interest in writing a bit as well ?

well like an addiction it doesn’t pay to go  “ cold turkey ”  but step out which i am doing, replying as i feel has some point to it, no new OPs or comments and the final step will be complete abstinence which means i can’t read it

like alcohol in the house for an alcoholic, if its there one will imbibe at some point !

i have found this helpful to type out, the early stages of leaving an addiction, regret at so having wasted one’s time is starting to dawn    .    .    .    .

i can’t really deal with a reading age and denial problem as severe as yours !

i can’t really deal with a reading age and denial problem as severe as yours

you can’t take quotes out of context as telling the full story, what else was said ?

you can’t take quotes out of context as telling the full story, what else was said

has ewk ingrained pathological lying on r|zen ?

imo he’s basically taught everyone to continually lie pathologically as the standard, i know this because there’s only four or five posters who no longer do it !

its subtle pathological lying, not outright lies but constant distortion, you can’t post to him because he distorts everything you say !

r|zen didn’t used to be like this, moderators, you are to blame  !

r|zen has become a point scoring game and you can’t lose if you always distort what is said to you !

the problem is constant distortion of what is said in a way that is effectively  “ pathological lying ”

just play it cool with bureaucracy, its a waiting game !

just play it cool with bureaucracy, its a waiting game

jason writes more on what happened at the 2018 ice poseidon NYE party at the sheraton, times square

i was looking at the video on demand from NYE’s again, from when it started streaming

a security guard comes up and says he smells pot, ice says no one is smoking pot and then some people start cracking jokes, brittany says  “ yeah it’s bad for you ! ”  and looks at me, i had been laughing at her jokes until then but i just didn’t respond to that one

later ice says we should give our neighbors $50 to get them to shut up, brittany says yeah and ice asks  “ who has $50 ? ”  brittany looks at me but i don’t say anything

my  reply

what she took was that $50 was a big deal to you and you don’t have the income she needs for a new partner !

the bottom line with brittany is she has health problems, she is barely surviving, she’s happy in her present relationship apart from the poverty, only wealth would pry her into a new relationship

without money you both would be struggling too much in a relationship

two hundred years ago, men could literally not get married until about 30 because they needed that long to gain financial traction, that circle has come around again for some !

men are only a road to children with women   .   .   .   children need huge amounts of care time and financial support !

you have a useful job, you need to work out the health stuff more, you are learning a lot about women from the streaming

things are heading in the right direction, especially if you get the diet and health stuff righter, a relationship now would destroy you

jason  writes

why am i thinking that if i were with brittany she might motivate me to make more money ?

you know  “ buddha ”  was written by an early soap opera script writing team, he’s not an historical figure at all and in fact the earliest buddhism was a merchant bank and   “ the buddha ”  some goldman sachs pontificator if you look at the  historical writings  !

its no accident that asian buddhism is incredibly venal !

alan watts wasn’t enlightened at all

he was a eastern/zen populariser/ entertainer, i don’t think the east had philosophy as such in the western sense

with seven children, he was just a breeder tapping into zen’s cult status to create entertainment the public would pay for

his interest was to support his large family

his own words

“ i’m subjecting you to a rather serious hoax ”

delia derbyshire,   creator  of the original dr. who sound track

alcoholism undercut her !

the american middle class wonderland, pasta, coke, croutons, ranch dressing, and a frappe (a coffee from starbucks that’s loaded with sugar)

ed.  kbubblez streaming the family dinner  (7th february 2018)

sometimes i wonder whether people understand what i write, then other times i’m sure they don’t !

sometimes i wonder whether people understand what i wrote, then other times i’m sure they don’t !

sometimes i wonder whether people understand what i wrote, then other times i’m sure they don’t

male on male images

two stags with locked antlers drowned in a bog

two lions  killing  another lion

because this is the net, you even have  a commentary  and more action !

are you expecting something of a message board that it can’t deliver ?

in personal life people are constrained to be honest because of reputation consequences, there is no such constraint on the net !

are you expecting something of a subreddit that it can’t deliver ?

in personal life people are constrained to be honest because of reputation consequences, there is no such constraint on the net !

one of the fascinating things about buddhism is for all the petabytes of writing it never seems to be about anything !

jason’s art  collection  !

a better collection than any billionaire and for free !

. .




“  How can you prove the past exists ? ”

how can you prove the present or future exists

do they exist ?

explanations move ,  therefore don’t fix in rigid views

explanations move ,  therefore don’t fix in rigid views !

explanations move, therefore don’t fix in rigid views

explanations move, therefore don’t fix in rigid views !

the guy who said bukowski was a womanizer is himself drug addled, did some crazy amount of lsd in his teens and he continues doing other drugs, he won’t be completely open about his drug use

this is one of the problems with the net, its so selective for these people, it distorts your sense of reality !

you can’t correct a million people, or even one !

this is the trouble ,  once you hit the actual streaming audience, like r|zen, it is just endless stupids and idiots with no understanding of anything except how great they themselves are !

i think you are right about tom waits stealing a lot of charles bukowski’s style

entertainers are notorious plagiarists, especially some of the modern female artist like madonna and  lana del rey

but so did bob dylan and he got a nobel prize for it

the world does not reward creativity, only sucks the blood from it, after a while you will get jaundiced with the whole pathetic idiocy and especially the vigour with which the morons defend their stupidity and plagiarism

but then there was the  “ spanish inquisition ”  if you want to know how bad things can get

life is robbery !

I had some experiences that have been explained by the Zen masters in the old texts.  At a certain point, I want guidance on the path.  I tried to look around for living teachers.  They all SUCK !

the reality is that what zen is about is self-taught !

you haven’t had valid experiences so why not play golf, knit or do some other activity that might be useful !

you are captured, like most by an unsuitable cognitive style for this sort of work, have no interest in remedying it and so waste your time

was elanor not  “ poisonous candy ”  ?

i don’t think elanor was poisonous candy, she was very bruised by life and had some understanding !

she has difficulty in sustaining any relationship and is always looking for something else !

she has been through several since we broke up

its an autistic thing

myself, i’m clingy !

a reader of mills and boon in her youth, she got badly programmed ?

do you use nutritional yeast ?

at tassajara it was always at the end of the buffet table

i found nutritional yeast was itself a gut yeast feeder !

maybe mixed with cream which acts as an anti-biofilmic it might be ok, have to try that ?

the antioxidant qualities of vitamin D3 coupled with its nitric oxide stimulatory effects had a significant impact on the  regeneration  and restoration of heart cells

there are not many, if any, known systems which can be used to restore cardiovascular endothelial cells which are already damaged, and vitamin D3 can do it

i don’t want to poke around in the wideness of the sane world

ed. that’s from a dream

look at things from the other’s point of view, so simple and takes you so far, yet so ignored !

if the world was not schizophrenic it wouldn’t exist

human life is short, we don’t have the thousand years necessary to unwrap our cognitive style problems so there has to be a shortcut

brad warner is not that liked on r|zen actually since he says there is contemplative work to do !

they seem constantly engaged in some imaginary  “ status ”  game ,  like a top game player or something all decided by imaginary points and obfuscation bluff and antagonism are justifiable tactics

why people are so blind to the only benefit being developing your own understanding and this requires personal honesty about one does and does not understand is beyond me

it is mistaken to study some illusory construct like  “ the way ”  except as an illusory construct, still this is not the real work which is quite pathless seen ahead and a semi/sorta path seen in retrospect !

it is quite mistaken to study some illusory construct like  “ the way ”  except as an illusory construct, still this is not the real work which is quite pathless seen ahead and a semi/sorta path seen in retrospect !

“ james’s father was egyptian and lebanese ”

yeah james has an intelligent people orientation though the lebanese can be away with the fairies a bit !

the problem is there is no real answer to what is  “ zen ”

to some its cool, or sand patterns or serene

to others its a splinter off buddhism

there are various real life sects, soto, rinzai, the koreans

zen nilhists or buji

literary zen versus   “ grunt ”  zen

so you have fragments comprising the public domain of meanings   .   .

None of that made any sense.  What are you actually trying to say.

why shouldn’t what i wrote be actually what i said ?

are you saying  “ it doesn’t make sense ” 

or are you saying ,  “ it makes sense but i can’t understand it ”  ?

do you understand this comment ?

carrie fishers beverly hills  home

“ Years ago, my great aunt was diagnosed with brain tumors.  Like eighteen of them, some the size of golf balls.  They operated and said she’d have a fair chance at survival

Shortly after surgery, she came into contact with an illegitimate sister, who had a family out West.  She packed up all her things and left, to go live with them, seemingly overnight

My great aunt had been the devoted wife to my uncle for forty years, they had a wonderful and colorful social life, went on multiple vacations a year, and threw the best Christmas parties every year.  They’d never had children, and she doted on the many children in our family.  We all loved her so much

My uncle said her personality just totally changed with in the span of a fortnight and nothing could change her mind or bring back the old Nancy ”

second rate is tautological for being an apologist !

second rate is tautological for being an apologist

nell gwyn  replying to charles the second’s expressing a concern about doing something to please the people of england

nell replied, politics is such an uneven game that if things are roughly ok then that is all that can ever be achieved, how could you improve on that ?

millennial arguing techniques i guess, the opponent has to disprove himself !

study history to get distance on politics

kbubblez’s  mother

when you’re not by yourself you do nothing for yourself

when you’re by yourself you do everything for yourself

as a low ranking but high utility employee you start to feel everyone is driving company cars on your efforts

dictionaries are a reflection of use !

you may or may not have dictionaries, but there is always use !

question  :  why do boring people love themselves so much ?

answer  :  because they know so little they can’t see anything else to love !

why do boring people love themselves so much ?

ewk’s zen is a literary construct created by the novels  “ the blue cliff record ”  and the   “ mumonkan ”

you can create something out of fiction, its what  aleister crowley  did !

interestingly brad warner who is one of the more authentic zen masters says that he is being  cold shouldered  by the zen buddhist community because he doesn’t fit the mold, despite being a buddhist !

the real zen is hard to understand because mostly its a correction of whatever the contemporary religious milieu was which is usually buddhism,

if you take away buddhism, you take away the need for correction and the whole thing stands forlorn in sea of unmeaning which is what ewk’s_zen is

gotta hand it to the indians for writing tomes of the most boring religious shit !

gotta hand it to the indians for writing tomes of the most boring shit !

you  (ed. brad warner)  just don’t get it do you ?

by having you as an outsider you validate their  (zen buddhists)  bullshit, what can i say ?

would you say you have lived enough years to know that saying you do know when you don’t know is a lot of trouble ?

they even had  christianity  in china, stuff spreads !

persia also had christianity

yeah zen is so  socratic ,  it came via the indo/bactrian greco empires/kingdoms along the silk road to china all because of alexander the great’s penchant for philosophy, he was tutored by aristotle who was taught by plato who was taught by socrates !

catholic monks do commit suicide, what is the rate compared to the rest of the population, i don't know !

being a monk is depressive !

catholic monks commit suicide, what is the rate compared to the rest of the population, i don’t know !

being a monk is depressive !

the mentally ill consume all your energy

jason, you’re a great chaser of poisoned candy

jason, you’re a great chaser of toxic candy

i was thinking when a woman displays her breasts she is saying  “ you can’t breed except through me ”  and the poor old male goes ,  “ shit she’s right, what do i do ”

i was thinking when a woman displays her breasts she is saying  “ you can’t breed except through me ”  and the poor old male goes ,  “ shit she’s right, what’ll i do ”

i was thinking when a woman displays her breasts she is saying  “ you can’t breed except through me ”  and the poor old male goes ,  “ shit she’s right, what will i do ”

i have figured out a few things but its all the wrong end of life, i would have definitely got into the arts and writing when younger !

its not clear whether the way thomas merton died was  suicide  or accident !

in fact  the tape  is not as john cooney presents it and also suicide was unlikely because its a gruesome way to go !

but he has a flat depressed affect in the tape, i really don’t like his bullshit so i am actually biased !

i guess he’s an apologist for religion but it doesn’t work you have to walk away from it !

he’s just a second-rate mind, popular usually is !

its not clear whether the way thomas merton died was suicide or an accident !

lack of sleep physically damages the brain

brittany will do nothing about her health, just look to your own issues

that was a sick stupid  song  on her playlist, you can add being suicidal to her problems

ewk, i think unfortunately you have become clinically schizophrenic, there’s just not a shade of reasonableness with you !

there’s this  article  on a young woman, bailey, on dr. phil, she clearly has reality orientation problems, but what i noticed was that she was like you, she couldn’t talk without distorting everything that was said to her

the distortion is not a secondary thing, its instrumental to the problem

you can’t actually say anything as it is !

constant pathological lying done more subtly than outright lies !

like you she gets hypomanic !

ewk refused to look at the link so i replied

yeah, bit close to home, you have to keep the wall up ?

another bailey  link , well worth researching !

ewk, there has never been the slighest suggestion in my real life by anyone that i am in any way mentally ill, i have had relatives and friends with difficulties and its a difficult life area and you are far too casual about it !

but that’s schizophrenia, you are just not possible to reason with !

that some-one like yourself who is obviously mentally ill and i am not being casual can stalk the r|zen subreddit is the most damming indictment of the moderator malignity and incompetence !

the denouement  !

the wallabies are a plague here in the drought at the moment and every second night i will shoot some from the backyard for myself and the cats !

so i shot a couple and went down the slope to the bottom of the paddock and started dragging them across back up to where i gut and butcher them by the side of the house !

at the bottom of the hill i was tired and just sat down for half an hour, moon through the clouds ,  no wind and warm !

i just wasn’t doing anything, but thoughts were burning through my brain, after a while one sees the patterns of ourselves !

“ when cobalt ions are consumed in amounts greater than provided as vitamin B12,   systemic  antioxidant and anti-inflammatory processes are stimulated ”

you have cognitive style problems and are unable to pare bullshit from sense

zhaozhou asked nanquan   :   what is the way ?

nanquan replied   :   daoist nonsense

zhaozhou shut up !

but it was too late, three demons appeared and took nanquan away and gave zhaozhou a ticket for disrespect !

zhaozhou asked nanquan   :   what is the way ?

nanquan replied   :   daoist nonsense

zhaozhou shut up !

why you religious people want to do nothing but fool yourselves and get so abusive and upset when the reality is pointed out i do not know !

why you zen people want to do nothing but fool yourselves and get so abusive and upset when the reality is pointed out i do not know !

why you people want to do nothing but fool yourselves and get so abusive and upset when the reality is pointed out i do not know !

they like their mesh of insanity

pompous schizophrenic asses sound like pompous schizophrenic asses  !

pompous schizophrenic asses sound like pompous schizophrenic asses

pompous schizophrenic asses write like pompous schizophrenic asses  !

pompous schizophrenic asses write like pompous schizophrenic asses

one of the big problems with staying at centers and zen monasteries is what i call  “ unintelligent vegetarianism ”

lots of grains and not much else !

one of advantages of r|zen apart from people helping you generate writing material for free is they are too stupid to be effective plagiarists !

and fortunately not all stupid people are interested in plagiarism !

with intellectual property the last thing you want is competent people, they will just rip your material mercilessly !

the female in a  nutshell

 you are taking the photo !

what did they actually write and how did what hakuin and dogen wrote change over their lifetimes ?

same issue with dogen ,  these  ‘ founders ’  are treated as never changing or refining what they said or even dramatically changing their minds, rather their writings get converted into hagiographical rigid thought systems that are almost entirely a product of the organisation rather than the person of dogen or hakuin who like the rest of us vary with our life and are imperfect !

i had dai kensho when i was quite young, about 6 or seven

i never really fitted into anything the perspective is so different

my intial contact with zen was effectively through the qin female line of zen which the book  “ dream of the red mansions ”  taps into and imo is simply the best zen book around   .   .   there was a lot of contact between the qin aristocracy and nuns effectively in the ch’an tradition and i really think zen died out almost completely after that point   .   .

later i joined the auckland zen society which had weekly sits which i really quite liked because it was between teachers and effectively non denominational, the society later schismed into groups supporting different teachers

my intial experience with these teacherless sits was so good that it was only after extensive involvement travelling visiting zen and other centers that i realised the whole thing was fraud and the teachers schizophrenics clueless about what zen was really about

i had dai kensho again at a zen retreat in nelson new zealand with john loori and you see how these people are all fake, just like r|zen really, idiots with other interests beside sorting out what zen is really about

no-one could understand what had happened to me because they had no such experiences themselves   .   .

so i had this understanding, but couldn’t match it up with anybody i had come across in zen in new zealand, so i visited several centers in the usa and still came up with blank, but fortunately when at the providence zen center  (a great place btw and i found the kwan um people easier to get along with, not the anal retards in japanese zen)  i was leafing through old kwan um magazines and came across a talk by toni packer who had visited there for some sort of as it turned out disputatious dialogue, rather like the old stories, they didn’t like her challenging the way they did things   .   .

anyway i made my way up to the springwater center and was extremely fortunate in that she was living at the center for periods and really it was a revelation to come across some-one else who understood !

of course she had left  (been kicked out of)  the rochester center which is pretty much how it goes, the moronic mass always reacts very badly to anything that shows them up

so it was a huge thing to meet some-one else with an understanding

i also felt george bowman  (at that time still in the kwan um school)  has some sort of understanding but he was always distant  (lol with woman troubles as it turns out)  and i feel there is some shortfall, i don’t know what it is

yeah so to come across toni packer who still is really the only person with that sort of understanding was really settling how things were with the world in relation to this sort of understanding

i do feel some of the current springwater teachers have an understanding of sorts

zen is about something, its multiple transmissions in a lifetime, then you have to integrate it and the zen records are so corrupted or wrong minded that mostly they are no use and that you can’t actually garner anything useful except astonishment at the way idiots worship voynich like it means something   .   .

You have nothing to say, poorly written or not

thank you for going out of your way to tell me, you are not the first obnoxious ill read semi literate to tell me that !

very interesting  research  indicating no more than two glasses of wine a day or the risk for dementia gets considerably higher !









 guess ?

madonna’s autonomic  nervous system ?

r|zen is exactly what it claims to be, a discussion of the public domain meanings by people trying to conscript the word to exclusive use of their own private meaning

that’s schizophrenia, not enough dialogue with the public domain !

failure to credit translators you  (ed. the r|zen mods)  do nothing about and i feel that crediting is to the point of courtesy and honesty !

why are people not content to hear your opinion but have to try to browbeat you into a different one ?

why are people not content to hear your opinion but have to try to browbeat you into a different one

a huang po quote  (translation by john blofeld)

our original buddha-nature is, in highest truth, devoid of any atom of objectivity

it is void, omnipresent, silent, pure; it is glorious and mysterious peaceful joy

my comment

i think it has a few atoms of objectivity !

the rest is bullshit !

the bottom line with copyright like patents is any infringement is speculative until a court decides that an infringement has occurred and if there is no financial harm, it won’t even make it to the courts

i was challenged by dave to rewrite the following yunmen quote as a poem

“ if your words do not leave the old clichés, how will you be able to get out of what covers and binds you ? ”


so thick

with clichés



 never drops !

he replied that he thought that was lame and i replied

the non poet

pretends to

judge !

dave, you are really a bit of an arsehole, an anal personality !

i have owned more than few message boards and the one golden rule i found, was you had to ban very occasionally because there were some people that clearly were schizophrenic and there’s nothing that derails a message board like mental illness !

the net is just chock a bloc full of mental illness, it is over selective for it !

another important thing is as the owner or mod, publicly discussing with the people concerned the approach of a ban and why you are considering a ban for them so they have an opportunity to change their ways and this is where the mental illness shows, the mentally ill are unable to modify their behavior !

this advice comes from years of hard experience on message boards i am afraid

even a death threat !

ownership and moderation is highly skilled and a lot of work which was why i  “ drew my horns in ”  in the end, too much work !

jason is portuguese, looks jewish and i was thinking his genes were actually determined by the  “ spanish inquisition ”

the jews married their children to christians as the only safe thing to do so within a generation or two you had this massive amount of interbreeding !

interestingly the inquision were also active in brazil which explains the dominance of the catholic church there

catholic dominance today is based on a very brutal past !

jason  writes

brittany was wondering in stream if anyone has really cured their depression

my reply

copper sebacate and exercise, yes depression can be cured, diet is big too

i have seen a million like brittany, who choose to be depressed, ill or overweight rather than actually do anything real about it

education is a type of idiocy and retardation


education is a type of idiocy


people like their meshed insanity


insane people take all your ability to correct the world and then some




left over



insane people take all your ability to correct the world and then some

insane people take all your ability to correct the world

intelligence is not something uniform across all life/s requirements

development in one direction can exclude or impair maturity or competence in other directions !

one of the unexpected advantages of celibacy is seeing other people going through relationships and breaking up, what the hell did they think they were doing ?

such a feeling of smug complacency !

well, sorta ! :o)(

some trauma mixed in there as well ! : o(

what r u looking for, the magic pill ?

Well if you knew where one was that would be ideal

between your ears if you start to take responsibility and work things out for yourself !

don’t try to correct it, just flip the way you look at it and get out !

don’t try to correct it, just flip it and get out !

“ Cuz what u just did  tarnished  my whole view of you ”

or you were given insight about him ?

one of the benefits of the inquisition in both spain and portugal is it forcibly integrated judaic communities into the local populations with the result that the iberians have 20% jewish ancestry and its why spain and portugal never bought into the nazi attitudes

general franco kept the skeleton of st teresa's hand  (she was of jewish descent)  in his bedroom !

honor amongst bullshitters doesn’t count for much or is entirely an illusion !

honor amongst bullshitters doesn’t count for much

antónio vieira on the portuguese  inquisition

“ the holy office of portugal is a tribunal which has served only to deprive men of their fortunes, their honor, and their lives, while unable to discriminate between guilt and innocence; it was known to be holy only in name, while its works were cruelty and injustice, unworthy of rational beings, although it was always proclaiming its superior piety ”

no different from the  spanish  inquisition !

field marshal bernard  montgomery  who fought in the first world war made an interesting comment about the british generals not being professionals being responsible for the slaughter

its a view of some foresight given the german and russian armies problems with political interference in the second world war !

people in general are not skeptical of information from socially sanctioned sources !

its insane to think you understand something without real life experience

the biggest problem the ch’an monasteries had was theft !

i love the story about one group of monks getting up early to go back to their home region and taking all the monasteries furniture with them

ikkyu was celibate until about thirty, this fact always seems to be ignored by the  “ sex pots ”

he ripped up his transmission certificate and did not view himself as being part of zen or a zen master in his later years

i personally find him overrated and his poetry weak, but still there’s quite a bit to what he says !

the zen master is plumped up on his little platform and all the minions come up and in turn say ah, blah blah and the master blows his nose and the minions go away and say oh he is so wonderful and enlightened

i wish it was different !

ewk, you don’t research adequately and distort your limited knowledge, in a word schizophrenia !

detailed research defeats inane projection !

i find it interesting that joko beck was always  “ outside ”  the zen system  (like toni packer)  because taizan maezumi  (who was screwing joko’s daughter)  would never have given her transmission except she was getting her own following at the los angeles zen center and the japanese can be very pragmatic, better having her in the system rather than risk a schism !

i really think joko did leave the system, its apparent !

i did talk to her once, many years ago, i sorta got the impression she had bitten off more than she could chew and everyone was fucking around with her !

“ Should we have dharma battles ? ”

go to real life dharma combat and you will be disillusioned !

the problem is who is to judge ?

there was no agreement on context or content in the first place let alone a judge !

who is to say an agreed judge is right ?

lol r|zen is always what it is, ramblings from the psychward !

there’s actual celibacy versus nominal

chrisitian claims for celibacy are usually nominal !

pope benedict xvi was a raving queen, too much so even for the catholic church, which is why he was removed

the real mystical truth is counter to human continuation !

Might as well just off ourselves collectively and let the universe figure the rest out then eh ?

nah, true understanding and completion is exceptional, the rest only exists so that can occur !

the samurai bullshit was always a big problem for japan, nothing very glamorous about their behavior in world war 2 or entering a war so badly led and so sure of defeat !

it still has echoes in the highly toxic yakuza culture !

rationality is ill suited to the schizophrenia of religion !

rationality is ill suited to the schizophrenia of r|zen !

layman pang pang didn’t get enlightened, went bankrupt and his children and wife committed suicide !

the modern perception of zen is actually based on a political construct of the meiji era in japan as part of the disastrous move to  “ ultranationalism ”  finally terminating in the defeat of world war 2 !

monks were permitted  (required)  to marry because celibate monks were too independent and powerful swayers of public opinion !

so the big joke, is this disastrous ultranationalist form of zen coupled with sex maniac non celibate japanese priests is what modern zen is founded on !

joshu sasaki is not given credit for his record breaking continued sexual assault past the age of 100 !

you can’t ride two horses at once, family and sexual relationship is one horse, celibacy is the other, they go to different places and zen including r|zen is chock a block full of pretenders !

melanie martinez

women are frightening

the trouble with dealing with the mentally ill is its always disturbing

free diving  with sperm whales

“ centers ”  are a failing paradigm

they don’t fit the cost and skill structure of today’s world

zen has really been damaged by sex scandals and i have to say it, the stupidity of the teachers !

all you  (ed. brad warner)  are doing is creating  “ goodwill ”  that is being squandered by these people

isn’t  “ teaching ”  itself an absurdity ?

somethings we can’t walk away from

life has to walk us away from them

if we follow

somethings we can’t walk away from

life has to walk us away from them

if we listen

somethings we can’t walk away from

life has to walk us away from them

if the queen bee tells you no ,  all the working bees are going to sting you !

if the queen bee tells you  no ,  all the working bees are going to sting you !

if the queen bee tells you no, all the working bees are going to sting you !

poppy is vegan and  doesn’t partake

not smoking is why she has some brains !

poppy  is really two people, her boyfriend ?  “ titanic sinclair ”

they are musically talented so cross over into mainstream entertainment and no doubt are making good money because of that !

they don’t have substance problems like the rest of the streaming scene ?

there will be a team as well behind her

basically its the new wave of entertainment, especially with the  “ faux ”  philosophy ,  sorta  “ dada ”

zen in the 1960s to the 1980s was really quite dominant, but now its just a backwater and really apart from brad warner and george bowman, all the teachers are rubbish !

i don’t know what happened !

one odd thing is that recent medical research is showing that  “ physical stillness ”  which zazen is, is actually quite unhealthy, but the people running zen have so little competence, they don’t know how or want to move out of that !

in fact what has killed zen is the transmission system, seems to produce nothing but idiot incompetents, brad warner excepted !

a pitbull in your dreams ?

ed. of wanderingronin77

you are good natured at least, a rare commodity in this world of snarling chihuahuas !

what good does being a crap artist do for you ?

too dumb with it !

now   .   .  the art world   .   .   .

hmm  russian rail  !

ewk, you lack the strength to move into areas of personal hurt and defeat !

there’s not much more to it, if you won’t go there you will never  ‘ get it ’  !

you lack the strength to move into areas of personal hurt and defeat !

joko beck says some people  never get it  they are just not strong enough

i used to be much more of a  “ fat shamer ”  but i have got more sympathetic understanding the epigenetic programming

personally my epigenetics are such i cannot put on weight if i try !

i’m really up with recent research on the subject

1.  being seriously overweight is partly genetic to do with epigenetic coding and your parents diet in conception and pregnancy and circumstance so its a difficult problem to solve, despite my negativity i do understand !

2.  the flow-on health problems with being seriously overweight are so severe that it is a life threatening disease, its very pro inflammatory with myriad inductions in cancer, cardiovascular health, joint problems etc

once you understand the way it is programmed by epigenetics its scary, you have a difficult problem but it absolutely needs to be solved !

basically the programming has interpreted the world as being one of  “ feast and famine ”  with long periods of starvation and that is what the constitutionally overweight are designed for !

i have actually spoken to joko, very  “ no nonsense ”  and actually rather put upon by people in her life !

she is totally a dai kensho zen master followed by working on that !

she was fan of toni packer so i don’t think she was into the religious side so much

her daughter was predated by maezumi roshi, joko was understandably negative about the hypocrisy and  “ boy’s fuck club ”  zen was at that stage !

her last video

fyi, zen is only possible to understand from the celibate perspective !

sensitive ?  why ?

we know why !

go for solitary walks and write poetry

the two pillars of zen !

zazen is a sort of unnatural yoga, people with experience see the red flag !

“ I wish I knew how the world sees me ”

fat in the body and fat in the brain

overweight people should not do zazen  they should lose weight  !

you have a massive health issue  (ed. overweight)  and you are not doing anything about it, what does that say ?

full of yourself, but not looking how the world sees you

so ewkian !

yoga never holds poses for anything like the length of time that zazen does

if you inquire you will find that most yoga teachers regard seated meditation as dangerous !

look you are bit fucked in the head, zen shouldn’t be about deflection !

when i was travelling up north near derby i bathed in a clear billabong with a nesting crocodile at the other end

i though then i would see it in time if it came for me, but i’m not so sure now !

samurai culture is just some nonsense about  “ honour ”  used to justify mindless banditry and  “ thieves culture ”  !

infinity has no origin, while we live it is obscure but not always !

miyamoto musashihe is actually interesting, the one samurai worth his salt !

a really good artist as well !

kbubblez’s mum is  “ intelligent autistic ”

parents make a lot clear about a person

sussokan eats peoples brains out from the inside

zombie zen !

the easy genetic test for your health is to look at your parents and grandparents !

aunts, uncles and siblings are good to !

“ itching during deep zazen meditation ?

is this common for beginning practitioners ?

even when my arms legs and groin have never felt itchy before ? ”

its abnormal

high  troponin  levels ?

blood sugar problems ?

when i travelled around visiting zen centers years ago i noticed that the teachers and senior people never sat in zazen more than five minutes if they could help it so figured there must be problems

its healthy young mans game, i would never do it now at my age, too dangerous !

the nazis, for a goup so keen on white supremacy didn’t see any contradiction apparently for the second time in embarking on a war so depleting of these races finest !

the glaring deficiency in the german invasion of russia was the lack of a four engined long range bomber which mean the germans were unable to target russian factories in the urals

they didn’t need better tanks, indeed the later models were ill suited because of their high maintenance needs and were difficult to service

if they didn’t quickly conquer they were doomed !

i get rejected by everything

even the


reject me

i’m a zen master and i’m ok

i carve my way

through a

“ weed filled ”


and that makes me laugh

i’m a zen master and i’m ok

i ply my way

through a

“ weed filled ”


and that makes me laugh

reddit armchair boxers, at least they don’t get  concussed  !

“ our experimental results showed no correlation between concussive signs at the time of injury and chronic traumatic encephalopathy brain damage

these findings do however provide strong evidence  —  the best evidence we have so far  —  that subconcussive impacts are not only dangerous but also  causally  linked to chronic traumatic encephalopathy ”

i usually say people need real life zen experience if they are schizophrenically inwound on some private definition totally out of sync with the public domain

i usually say people need real life zen experience ,  if they are schizophrenically inwound on some private definition totally out of sync with the public domain

narcissists think that their simply having an opinion is sufficient demonstration of it being right !

things like MNDFL are disguised pyramid schemes really !

things like MNDFL are disguised pyramid schemes really

the springwater retreats are very soto zen style, but without the buddhist trappings, services etc

you don’t have to sit, but in winter there mightn’t be much choice as you can’t go outside whereas in summer the whole area is staggeringly beautiful to wander around in which is what i did !

you can have private meeting with one of the  “ teachers ”  or attend a group dialogue but everything is voluntary

the food is vegetarian

the english are not that purebred, i look celtic but there is jewish and italian in there as well, maybe some irish

well  “ the three pillars of zen ”  has an interesting story behind the scenes, philip kapleau made up the enlightenment stories and wouldn’t share any royalties with yasutani roshi who provided a lot of the material for it

he was a good business man and the aim was clearly to write a popular bestseller, but he wasn't enlightened and unenlightened wannabe’s get sucked into the trap !

the most interesting thing about him imo was his service as a reporter at the ww2 war crimes tribunal !

toni packer who was enlightened was not treated well by the rochester center and was always a bit anti them and kapleau !

the power of a non doctrinal retreat

if you been to zen and catholic retreats where bizarre doctrine has been pushed down your throat, its a  revelation  to do one at springwater which was a breakaway group from philip kapleau’s rochester center and who the late toni packer knew very well !

the rochester center is easily the most wealthy zen center, i saw their books once !

lol, susan is pulling toni’s trick of using photos many years younger!

yet another attempt  to decipher  the voynich manuscript !

interesting, the  full story  behind the infamous  ‘ saigon execution ’  photo

from the enlightened perspective there’s a certain degree of con in talking about it

for instance without a childhood enlightenment experience and most people haven’t had this, you are just wasting your time

the seventh patriarch put on his rotten tomato proof suit, mounted the rostrum and said  “ to be honest all you people are wasting your time and golf or knitting offers about what you can cope with ”

later he thought, just as well i wore that suit !

the religious take a bad soap opera, treat it as real and then wonder why they get in a tangle !

man takes a bad soap opera  (ed. zen story) ,  treats it as real and wonders why he gets in a tangle !

What am I to do

 go for a walk by yourself !

i’m still recovering from this  tibetan shrine  link, the chanting did something bad to me ! :o(

the freer|sackler  gallery 

if you disregard the  “ going towards the light ”  rubbish, all the post-death experiences seem to be very idiosyncratic which you might expect !

how did i end up in such a malfunctional space ?

well i got there by myself

its all that fits my talents

and i don’t even like the talent !

how did i end up in such a malfunctional space ?

well i got there by myself

the one zen book everyone should read is hakuin’s autobiography because it gives such a real view of zen in the world and its sheer difficulty and  “ against the grainess ”

a zen master is in part con artist, impresario, stooge and door mat

monks in general are disloyal, conniving and a bad lot

parishioners are easily distracted and having to be converted away from pure land

incidentally zen historically has always been outcompeted by pure land

i feel the notion of  “ silence ”  is fraught with contradictions, like those who tell you the benefits of silence which obviously extend to breaking that silence !

silence does not exist in itself




silence does not exist of itself





music is an anesthetic so she doesn’t have to feel her life

i used to think rebirth was crap, then i realised that it was no more crap than the notion we die and the world continues

any speculation is stymied by an inevitable lack of definition and one view is as good as another !

seigando made a tedious copypasta on r|zen that ended with the verse from case one of the mumonkan

the dog, the buddha nature

the pronouncement, perfect and final

before you say it has or has not

you are a dead man on the spot



the dog seigando

the TL:DR paste

i’d kick his arse into the next universe

make him dead on the spot

what is worth words or poems ?

not worth words

not worth poems

what is worth words or poems ?


sprung from bitter



one spends the days

tossing stones

at the retarded

like abundant flesh on a skeleton

are dillon’s words







 idiots !


another clod in the crowd

quotes ikkyu









i always find ikkyu sojun’s  writing  weak, but could be the usual piss poor translations

he is interesting but overrated !

ewk, it sounds like you are commenting yet again on something you know nothing about

5 minutes actual research would go a l. o. n. g. way with you

oh, i forgot you only take others opinions, mix them up then represent them as your own !

you’re so full of faux you can’t think straight

let alone see yourself as you are

you’re so full of faux you can’t think straight

a dogen  waka

even though i am dull-witted

i will not become a buddha

i wish only to be a monk

helping all living beings

crossing over

my reworking

to stupid to understand what zen is about

i will migrate into some crap


helping others

TS;DR: fake tries to disguise the fact by garbling

religion is very boring people pretending they are not boring

the extraordinary story of the  rongorongo  script of easter island

they get cancer, but they still bullshit like their lives depended on it

go figure



my reworking of the first verse  of

perhaps not so oddly, google translate did a better job than richard zenith !


being in mutation

moments changed by and changing

strange to myself



those who have souls




immune cells  invade  the lens and turn into cells that cause scarring !

all this effort and for what ?

jebel barkal

arguments are endless !

arguments are endless

the net is an immediate research tool, if you have a question, most of the time, within a minute you can be on the way to an answer !

pathology is not negotiable or it wouldn’t be pathology  !

pathology is not negotiable or it wouldn’t be pathology

the basic problem is that between the translators biases and who knows what transcription errors and philological problems you mostly never read what the zen master said at all

like a hundred miles off !

zen is just some game of the insane projecting their thoughts onto nonsense !

literally everything he says is a distortion to suit his views

its really pathological lying

pathology is not negotiable or it wouldn’t be pathology

literally everything ewk says is a distortion to suit his views

its really pathological lying

pathology is not negotiable or it wouldn’t be pathology

addictions rewire the brain and you can’t fight the brain

from a physiological point of view most substances have to be  “ stepped off ”  as cold turkey is damaging from a health point of view

learning to modulate the dose and being prepared to live in the space of feeling rather crappy is half the battle

stopping addiction is not an all or nothing thing, rather its a learned skill of some complexity   .   .   .

you have to build in a tolerance for relapse so that if you relapse you have the skills to quickly get off again !

the big problem with building the skills to stop the addiction is heavy substance abuse damages the brain to the extent no learning is possible

the problem with ewk is you cannot have a conversation with him because he distorts everything you say to him, this is how he maintains a communication barrier

he literally posts into r|zen in a one way vacuum because of the impossibility of getting feedback to him !

this  seems particularly pointless to me, if only i didn’t do pointless things !

zen is marvellous for addiction

it has helped many well known sex addicts by giving them a plentiful supply of compliant young women and for alcoholics it provides a justifying veneer

for coke and heroin addicts it provides poverty and for psychedelics it provides a puzzle they can pretend to solve

i was just thinking, charles bukowski for all the drinking, fighting, smoking and bad food lived to 74, 18 years older than emily dickinson’s 56

that’s a rather shocking difference for one born only 90 years later

he did have tuberculosis for a year, once he would have died from it, the astounding ninety year advance in medicine is a good part of the difference i think !

Many many


Birds are few

few many

birds myriad

many are

few many

birds myriad

are many

building  the tesseract

you can be  in the tesseract  all the time, why fuck around with idiots !

you can be in the tesseract all the time, why fuck around with these idiots !

its like science fiction, the seed of the gap between the last word and exclamation and question marks compulsory in the 22nd century was planted right here !

be true to  your mission  joseph cooper !

i’m not drinking any coconut water at the moment because its summer and i have plenty of fresh pasturised fruit

generally but not always i remove the skin on fruits to lower pesticides

you’re an apologist of your bullshit, takes all sorts doesn’t it !

you’re a bullshit apologist, takes all sorts doesn’t it !

the enzyme that breaks down insulin also breaks down amyloid proteins, but prioritizes insulin and in certain  situations  this leaves a deficit of amyloid degrading activity !

the last lines of a franz kafka poem

just learn to be quiet, still and solitary

and the world will freely offer itself to you unmasked

it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet

my comment

it didn’t roll in ecstasy at his sister’s feet, they were all gassed

its dangerous to do zazen first thing in the morning, you need movement for circulation !

and its a general issue with rigid posture meditation !

everything you write is your own processing, that’s the only value in it !

drug hubricity is false solipsism

given joshu’s poetic density i would say that quote is not true to what he said

why people blather on nonsense assuming a translators view of who knows how accurate a transcription is meaningful and to be taken like some christian gospel that you don’t question i don’t know !

yeah people  “ invest ”  in particular theoretical systems whether its religion, philosophy or psychology and like medieval fiefdoms spend all their time trying to take and defend territory

these are the limited intellects that seem unable to grasp the vast expanses that could await them by simply moving on

the very nature of language is communication, so intrinsically its in the public domain

the chinese are incredibly superstitious, it goes back as far as there are historical and archeological records

i think one thing you can take from streaming is the footprint of drug use and its effect of constant bumbling incompetence

ewk, you are young to have the first footsteps of dementia

. .



you are young to have the first footsteps of dementia ! : o(

prior to dogen zen may not have been clearly differentiated from buddhism at all in china and the more rigid separation was born with dogen who may have well started his own religion

there’s the super competent




the superincompetent

the view along  the tilt

the whole streaming scene has to do with the instability of drugs and substance abuse, its not very interesting otherwise

ice poseidon was fined $14,000 for getting a permit for one location, but changing the location for his recent  attempted party  in los angeles  (26th jan 2018)

plus losing $4000 for the cost of the party

he’s getting very well known now and since he live streams he’s going to find it more difficult to get away with what he has been getting away with

if there’s no trouble, women make it

i think they like the instability, gives them more  “ purchase ”  on men

if there’s no trouble, women make it

i tend to listen to music in its context ,  learning something about the composer or singer or whatever and let the whole process propel me forward rather than get caught in its role as a life deadening anesthetic

you see lots of things  .  .  .

“ when we went to the second apartment after ice poseidon’s party her boyfriend wanted to order pot like i said, he started listing off ten different names of the strains that we could order and i said  ‘ i probably know one of those names ’  and brittany says  ‘ me too  .  . ’   ”

everything is consumer

i use r|zen for writing material, it keeps me sane ! : o)

it sounds a bit corny, but ewk and others teach me   .   .

friends cut your throat in more subtle ways

you seem unable to read ?

or just the easy bits i guess ?

oddly, i have to say kbubblez is surprisingly sane by contrast to brittany : o)

lower social classes have better wisdom-related  pragmatic reasoning  than higher classes

one sees this all the time !

black  =  white

no it doesn’t !

i have redefined black to equal white


black  =  white

no it doesn’t !

i have redefined black to equal white


so you lost, be gracious, be a good loser, that way you’ll be good at something because you are not a good arguer !

i’m not a fan of multilingual, i think you lose too much on one langauge

great ,  (ed. dillon)  we are in complete agreement about our disagreement !

we can argue forever but at the base there is a fundamental disagreement !

great, we are in complete agreement about our disagreement !

we can argue forever but at the base there is a fundamental disagreement !

what zen master left in a hissy fit ?

you need to slow down and learn to put your projections aside !

you are tilting at some windmill i have no idea about !

jason  writes

i would guess eileen wasn’t a good choice because she came out ahead

my  reply

i think women always do

one negative against brittany is she is anti-creative, effectively dissing your poem, you are a creative artist with your blog and my writing you up, so many of the moronic mass will just diss you

i feel she’s a bit of a bitch actually and has lines of resistance to the wider world of art and literature

eileen was never that way

jason  writes

she liked  nea’s  music video

my  reply

wow, that shit is insane

she’s going to react very strongly against you

she’s as crazy as that woman you had a date with in massachusetts

lol you are the common factor ?

mr. sane with a penchant for crazy women ?

meta :  public domain meanings versus private

i think since r|zen is a public message board, that arguments have to stick to public domain currency otherwise you can just redefine everything to suit yourself !

an example is ewk redefining eihei dogen to be  “ not zen ”  whereas in terms of the public domain he is a pre-eminent zen master

he can’t lose because he has created his own private definition !

similarly huang po is considered a zen master but imo he is not fully enlightened, i’m not taking the heft huang po has out of the public domain

ewk keeps telling me i am mentally ill, again his own private definition as in real life there’s no such suggestion

i suggest to ewk he sees a therapist and he has various psychiatric conditions, this is an objective fact in the public domain !

people in his offline life will be suggesting he has issues !

i just see this endlessly, everyone is creating their own definitions without any regard to public domain use, and this is where a lack of real life experience of zen really shows because real life zen is the dominant influence on public domain use !

r|zen_private_definitions really !

“ God is faith, faith is believing in something that can’t be proved ”

god is not faith !

“ Show me a god.  You can’t.  There is no supernatural immortal beings ”

i just did !

god is not faith

that’s a definition of god !

ie discovery and working things out !

a monk asked  :  what is the way beyond ?

yunmen replied  :  nine times nine is eighty-one

the chinese have a lot of associations with numbers, there’s a dimension missing in that translation !

philological research is necessary to get an idea of what that might be since you not dealing with the meaning now, but in medieval times

yunmen was quite fond of this expression :  it occurs no less than five times in this text.  professor iriya found that multiplication tables used in the tang dynasty start out with this.  thus it could correspond to some very basic knowledge, something that everybody with minimal education knows.  here it may mean  “ first things first ”  or, more aggressively ,  “ you have not even begun learning to calculate and are already talking of such big numbers ? ”

well it will be like good poetry, that’s one possible layer of meaning, but there will be others we don’t know about and actually will take a lot of philological research to recover and it may not even be possible !

this is what people miss about zen because they only know the records through translations, that really the sayings and dialogues of the ancients are much more like good western poetry, not really graspable because what is said is so dynamic and yet something comes through without any explicit deconstructable understanding

there’s something else there, you can feel the lack !

my reworking

a monk asked yunmen  :  what is this all about

yunmen replied  :  why do you ask !

That is in one of the notes of the book. I assume they made some research at least.

yeah, but they are not going to put a year in sorting out one phrase which is what it might take and even then there's no guarantees

a very old language like chinese can change the remaining of words and phrases every hundred years or so !

its even a problem with japanese !

if you look at shakespeare/ sir henry neville, he's a great user of double entendre which because we are not in his culture completely miss !

this problem with translations is one of the reasons zen is not a scripturally based religion, but a "sort it out for yourself" and "speak from your own experience and observation" which is why it places so much emphasis on meditation retreats !

of course r|zen avoids any solitary contemplation and so created a faux zen out of scripture !

“ do you believe in god ?

i’m looking for someone with experience in the matter ”

what is god ?

‘ belief ’  is a shortcut for a detailed functional understanding

it may be grounded somewhat in the reality, it may not !

those  drawings  of marzia’s are good, she has real talent

the net is full of pretend talent and grind real talent into the ground when they can

you can correct someone, but they won’t take the correction

you can correct some-one, but they won’t take the correction

until you are a parent, you always are a child   .   .   .

until you are a parent, you always are a child

i have never met anyone such as myself who has put so much work into everything for so little effect

there’s a certain strangeness to going through life childless

i was getting somewhere

and then





i was getting somewhere

and then



get anywhere

i was getting somewhere, and then



get anywhere

i was getting somewhere, and then i didn’t


i was getting somewhere, and then i didn’t get anywhere

talking to the retarded





talking to the insane





talking to the inane





talking to the inane





like two men in a room, both claiming to be jesus ?

obviously they can’t be !

like two men in the same room, both claiming to be jesus ?

obviously they can’t be !

like two men in the same room, claiming to be jesus ?

obviously they can’t both be !

talking to the retarded





talking to the insane





r|zen meditators only talk about meditation

r|zen buddhists never go anywhere near real life buddhism

r|zen druggies do lots of drugs though !

low reading age types are the infestation of the web

“ smoking only about one cigarette per day carries a risk of developing coronary heart disease and stroke much greater than expected  :  around half that for people who smoke twenty per day ”

no safe level  of smoking exists for cardiovascular disease ”

words and sense





a poem by seiken chiju

twenty years a pilgrim

footing east, west

back in seiken

i’ve not moved an inch

ewk’s  reply

this guy wasn’t a zen master


my  reply

four years a pretender

posting east

posting west

back at home

 i’m the house nanny !

you’re a good buddhist, passing off quoting another’s work and making nothing creative yourself !

its a  great story , well worth reading !

as far as i can see with bodhidharma, he liked the good life, which if he came from india and was of royal parentage would figure

indian buddhist clergy of his rank lived as well as royalty as recent excavations of a monastery show its only real equivalent were royal quarters and this is also true of european monasticism

fitting a jigsaw puzzle with a hammer

a jigsaw puzzle with a hammer

the basis of the need for consultancy is the upper management have a contempt for the technical staff and won’t listen to them

i don’t know why this is

in the deep limpopo

the limdodo limps

in the deep limpopo

the limpopo limps

in the deep limpopo, the limpopo limps

you  (ed. dillon)  just jam words together

a criticism needs to be valid, if the criticism is valid the the words will flow right

you are just engaged in some sort of defensiveness, but you need to let that go and plough on into uncharted territory and see what comes up !

when i say you are  “ psychotic ”  this is how you’re mentally ill, you don’t wind in enough depth and thought to what you write

you follow me around, you read my  “ digital scribble ”  you even had a subreddit about me

you are just not putting two and two together, you are drawn to what i write, but you won’t listen to what i say !

my poems and writing may appear stupid but on the second or third glance they shouldn’t

you have to mode into them

my poems and writing may appear stupid but on the second or third glance they shouldn’t

i’m certainly not famous but i get the pick of the toxic stalkers

. .



i’m certainly not famous but i get the pick of the toxic stalkers

: o (

these aliester crowley pushers never research his life which speaks volumes about him

(and them)

these aliester crowley pushers never research his life which speaks volumes about him

bodhidharma looking at a wall for nine years is such crap, the  “ wall gazing period ”  was just that bodidharma lived at a certain hermitage for that period of time and it was quite comfortable i think being close to wealthy sponsors

spewings of a psychotic


rambles again

thinking something fits







spewings of a psychotic


rambles again

eihei dogen was an historical person, buddha is just a retarded soap opera and not an attractive character at that !

on  ‘ mongrelocotpus ’

a mongrel fucked an octopus

the result was

abominable !

poor zennists

bound up in theory




birds suspended

in heaven



birds suspended in heaven



punctuation wanted

unnecessary spaces




punctuation wanted

unnecessary spaces


such upset

the flapping of wings



gimme your verses

terses in rhyme

or is it

ornate filigrees  dripping in slime ?

kbubblez’s mom

you can have love, but if you have no money its one more poor relationship, always be struggling, you’re gonna  fight

drug addicts, so sure of their crippled intelligence but in fact are just sleazy slackness !

jason  writes

i told james i got some good advice yesterday and told him how you said you should look at how women act rather than their breast size

first when i tell him i got some good advice he says  “ it wasn’t from brittany was it ? ”  and then when i told him what you said  “ jason, do you really have to be reminded of that ? ”  he said as a gay man he just didn’t understand

my  comment

well gay men are notorious for poor judgment about attractive young men !

leonardo da vinci for one !

being a parent is creating a world out of nothing, no wonder its so believable !

being a parent is creating a world out of nothing, no wonder its so believable

“ you could ism zen no problem ”

i don’t think you can actually, it has a broad range of meanings whereas an  ‘ ism ’  is fairly specific

ewk, what zen master was so entirely without a sense of humor it was pathological ?

an interesting phenomenon is child protegies revitalising classical music and opera !

as its young girls mainly its opened my eyes a bit to how previously they and their parents would not have had social permission to do that !

high fidelity microphones, amplifiers and speakers are of course the other huge enabler !


an absolutely staggering  performance  of nessun dorma

refreshing in a world of musical mediocracy

being monolingual is a treasure

 not conventionally accounted a treasure but it is !

i lived

i wrote a journal

i died

i never sought  more

i lived

i wrote a journal

i died

i never sought more

 Is Zen an  ‘ ism ’  ?

the monk says

all things are one

pseudo joshu replies

 that’s a zen-ism !

 Is Zen an  ‘ ism ’  ?

a monk says

all things are one

pseudo joshu replies

 that’s a zen-ism !

the bottom line is posting in r|zen helps me think about things !

the problem with the place is the extreme hostility of some and the large amounts of time consumed in defending what i post

but at least the mods let me comment, for instance it didn’t take temicco long to ban me from r|zens !

i’m the sofa, everybody wiping their bums  on me  !

sesshu toyo  takes you right into  15th century  rural japan

turn the music off !

WWE is choreographed, they are careful not to hurt themselves

jason  asks

well how long was eileen single for ?  you don’t have to say but i think it makes a difference

my  reply

i knew eileen when she was in a relationship with the father of her last daughter and they broke up and i didn’t see her for a while

i met her initially though going to a meeting for parents of children with aspergers syndrome as i was interested in autistic spectrum at that point

the problem with brittany and yourself and even her and her current boyfriend is conveyed in the phrase  “ too much autism under one roof ”

its just an endless walk up golgotha !

i wish i could be more optimistic : o(

i’m just old and tired these days, what you do when younger is hard to fathom !

if i hadn’t gone through that trauma i wouldn’t be  “safely celibate ”  today

i think one of the problems with eileen is we didn’t add very well, the relationship wasn’t particularly functional and actually it was mostly to her advantage and i was the one who got wrecked !

brittany is scattered and grasping, she’s not a good choice !

i think if i have learnt one thing about women is to judge them as a person and not by their looks and breast size !

what are they thinking, what are they like, what does their behavior say about them ?

the russians still can’t  get to grips  with what ioseb, a georgian, did to them !

art’s a funny thing, modern sculpture and painting with the right name is worth millions

but the same junk nameless goes in the trash !

psychiatric meds never work long term and the side effects translate to serious diseases

the writing and thought processes of those taking psychedelics are psychotic

substance problems seems to be the common denominator in the streaming world

jason  writes

i was at my friend’s apartment in philadelphia and there was a painting portrait of a woman and her son, the painting seemed to be more than fifty years old

my friend asked what that meant and i asked  “ where’s the father ? ”

i won, but i’m losing !

. .




i won, but i’m losing !

. .




i won, but i’m lost

i won, but i’m losing

jason, this is like a puzzle, what is in this that i am sending  this  to you in the context of your infatuation with brittany

jason  replies

what stick out to me in that performance was the children on stage and close around, the purple dress, and the depressive quality to the song ?  maybe i’m bringing that over because i know brittany is depressed

my   reply

its the dream women are chasing on the backs of those unseen there, men the beasts of burden

jason, this is like a puzzle, what is in this that i am sending  this  to you in the context of your infatuation with brittany

winning and pretending to win are not the same thing !

winning and pretending to win are not the same thing

like most, you can’t grasp that there’s more to this work than the  “ feel-good easy ”

what is not known to us

or thought about

as we wander in the dark

through the heart’s labyrinth

my re-translation of the last  verse  of goethe’s poem an den mond/ to the moon

both jesus and buddha are soap opera characters

complete fictions with no historical existence !

when a crocodile tries to eat you, its behavior is not random but has  an evolutionarily  directed purpose !

i had a bit of a think and fundamentally my view is if you are going to form rigid opinions about a subject that matters to you, but have no real life experience of, then you are insane !

anything can be argued, but its constrained by the real life implementation !

i think music can be used like an anesthetic to shut out what needs looking at, passing life without observing it !

its insane to formulate views of something without real life expereince of it !

a hunagpo quote

such a method is not to be compared with suddenly eliminating conceptual thought, which is the fundamental dharma

he’s a proponent of sudden enlightenment or transmission outside the scriptures which is not a buddhist thing at all

since zen is fundamentally  “ a transmission outside the scriptures ”  i don’t think you can say its buddhist

the masters supposedly have this transmission

there’s nothing in buddhism that’s a reasonable guide to this transmission whereas some of the zen records are !

gheorghe zamfir on the  pan flute

a good introduction to  no exit

save your drug-ease for some-one else !

seen it all !

What is the essence of zen ?

If you only had like 4 paragraphs to describe it what would you say ?

what’s unique about zen is it is a celibate mystical tradition where its not a state vehicle of social control

that is, it can be relatively straightforward and doesn’t have to couch everything in some ruling dogma

its weakness is the huge amount of voynich that the obscurity of the subject matter allows

three paragraphs

tsk, what drugs and alcohol do to the brain !

tsk, what drugs do to the brain !

2 thessalonians is not a  genuine letter  of st. paul’s

st. paul is a genuine  historical figure  and one of the real founders of christianity with james and peter also being prominent figures of the anti-temple sect that later morphed into christianity