this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don’t warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems  index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of  the page

audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed  !

discord and streaming is just like r|zen, everyone just likes to fight

dell get their balance between cpus and ram size wrong, they go up to i5 and i7 when they should stick with i3 and instead go up to 16 gig

they are still stuck in an hdd mentality, but with ssds its better to increase the ram as a priority to reduce wear on the ssd

once you build your own computer ,  you never go back to buying an  “ off the shelf ” ,  you get so much more for your money

“ declamation ”  is a sophistical arguing technique used a lot on r|zen

you pronounce something as so and then leave it at that

of course it may not be so, like ewk might say  “ i am a zen master ”  which is a declamation which can be defeated by the counter declamation  “ you are not a zen master ” 

the point of the effectiveness of a declamation is that unless refuted it leaves some residue of being so, its just an easy sophistical technique

the real McCoy will be able to analyse and dialogue as to why something is so or not, but of course the fakes run a mile when confronted

basically for most people r|zen is an exercise in hubric sophistry but that’s such a dead end, a literal returning circle of nothingness

humans are hubric, the first step is to start to develop an awareness of it which takes meditative/contemplative work

“ i’m not gonna pull my dictionary out ”

you don’t pull your brain out either

why waste your time in pretense ?

is this just some sort of unending  “ i’m better than you ”  ?

jason complains of still feeling unwell with a virus and says that others are still complaining of it

my comment is that it might be a new sort of virus variant no-one has any immunity to

viruses use the fatty acids in fish and krill oil to replicate so stopping supplementing these while you have a virus may be a good idea

how pathetic to be second fiddle to an insane dullard

in writing, an open and inquiring mind has fruit   :   beauty, subtlety, complexity and interesting content

most posting on r|zen is the  “ barren fig tree ”

why don’t your read what you write ?

a defensive panegyric to yourself

contrast the zen saying  “ not knowing ”  with your dictatorial  “ knowing ”

contrast the zen cliché  “ not knowing ”  with your dictatorial  “ knowing ”

religion is like looking for meaning in a psychward

i mean it is looking for meaning in a psychward

religion is looking for meaning in a psychward

you are telling a crazy story to yourself as usual

you are telling a story to yourself as usual

there’s so much in life you don’t have to say

what defines  “ the zen experience ”  ?

i think its going on a zen meditation retreat ,  if you haven’t done this and claim to know something about zen, you are just hot air and a pretender

more valuable than praise is accurate criticism

a commodity in extremely short supply

more valuable than praise is accurate criticism

an older person’s hindsight can be a younger person’s foresight

i think meditation is like entering a maze, if you don’t have a map you will never leave and wander circularly around in it

how do you get a map ?

read quality

but people never do and as a result the  “ spiritual ”  landscape is a nightmare of the hubric vociferous lost

here’s my koan for you, joshu never said  “ mu ”

from a philological point of view you have to do quite a bit of reading of contemporary works to get a sense of the word, which of course is why its never done

so effectively, zen is translated, or rather re-interpreted through the lens of western philosophy which may be a reason for its ready acceptance in the west, it didn’t look too strange because in fact its not, it has been molded in terms the west is familiar with

i know where a grandfather started meditating and killed/shot his entire family across three generations

lesbian couples are usually bitches, too closed off to the rest of the world, unlike gay men

jason  comments

there’s a lesbian couple who have been at the office for ten years or something and they are so toxic

the last lesbian couple i worked with weren’t so nice to me either !

the ones on the farm in massachusetts

the lesbian couple is worse when they’re together, separate they’re more bearable and nicer

if you are ignorant people hold it against you and take advantage of it

in real life, if you are ignorant people hold it against you and take advantage of it

in real life, if you are ignorant people hold it against you

i have found most, but not all lesbians in real life quite antagonistic to me

something to do with the way i am gender blurred

you come across as ignorant i am afraid, why not research ?

you don’t even know what  “ the enlightenment ”  is do you ?

its one of the biggest western philosophical, historical and cultural deals ever

translations are really a story about something, they can be very far from the intended meaning of the source

its not a new problem

we forget that china had a strong printing and translation culture a thousand years before the west

doing philological research requires access to historical records across several languages and many time periods which takes a lifetime of intense work

the great flaw of translations is they take modern meanings of words and not the philological, so translations are not simply from one language to another but another time in modern word meanings that can be quite different to what they meant then

“ mind ”  is a western european  “ historical enlightenment period ”  term and bears no relation to the way it is used in historical zen

its a philosophical term heavy loaded with meaning in the western tradition

it would be quite a research project to look at what the chinese actually means  (ie conventionally translated as mind)  and it will certainly vary with time to, i don’t think its been done as philological projects are usually never done because of their intensive and financially unrewarding nature

i think you can tell the authentic stuff, the record of joshu is a bit too wacky to be popular and has a very idiosyncratic cast that makes it real

the platform sutra shows again that very idiosyncratic and contrary to convention viewpoint that implies at least there was some-one who knew what he was on about, but the sutra itself has been distorted

you have to work backwards, its like a crossword puzzle, you need to know the answers to solve the problem of what stories are valid and what ones are simply soap opera scripts

its takes years of meditative /contemplative work and quality reading to sort things out, people rush in using the zen records in the same way christians use scripture and can’t see that they do that when you point it out to them, they are so un self-aware

huang po is good and what we read is usually mediocre translations of who knows how accurate transcripts, but he’s missing something

my experience of zen in real life is it is both anti-intellectual and anti-artistic whereas many of the great historical zen masters were intellectual and artistic

most zen stories are rejected soap opera scripts

they clearly follow a standard format and are what you would expect to be put together in the sort of literati culture zen was

why do people treat them like  “ god’s word ”

you might as well quote  “ twin peaks ”

zen master good, zen monk bad, zen monk says something, zen master assaults monk without going to jail

god the crap artists glorifying this shit in zen

look its just a story, why are you treating it as real ?

you’re assuming it comes from god or something, its just bad script writing

its just zen soap opera script, why the fuck do you think it means anything ?

buddhism is even worse, endless bad scripts and you have a several thousand year wiki of rejected scripts called a religion

strong winds blow up the back of the blue mountain

a strong wind blows up the back of the blue mountain

well in the end it comes down to how accurate each of our opinions is, my view is what i wrote applies to you, what can i say ?

you don’t want to hear it

the waves are the sea

meditation is not self-hypnotism, the observing of thought begins to give self understanding which you need

when the inmates run the asylum   .   .

when the inmates run the asylum   .   .   .

what i am saying is what you quote is senseless crap and you are pretending its not and your comment is so screwed up it shows that you are clueless about what is crap and what is not  !

your sensitivity to the topic says what i said applies to you

your sensitivity to the topic says what i wrote applies to you

there’s something about two well matched female voices  in duet

anna netrebko and elīna garanča

three exceptional pieces happened to come up on my youtube recommendations

two melancholy :   angus dei   hymn of  the cherubim

one  not so

albinoni’s  adagio  in G minor


not new age at all, roma ryan  is a genius

zhaozhou said  “ the past and present are one in me ”

my  reworking

zhaozhou said  “ i am the past and present ”

what is time ?

zen master  enya

zen master w. h.  auden

what is time ?

“ each of you has made his bed in the deepest hells, has no hope of improvement, is obdurate, venomous, unwilling, and incapable to hear wisdom or change his behavior ”

so many on r|zen are like that, prancing idiots, the height of their courage is to downvote

i am sure what i have written will go right past them

examine themselves ?

n  .  e  .  v  .  e  .  r

we make unconscious choices and realise five or ten years later they were not the right direction

i think i took  ciprofloxacin  once for something and honestly, i felt it took two monthts to recover from

“ while fluoroquinolones are designed to inhibit the bacterial topoisomerase gyrase, which leads to the death of the bacterium, they also inhibit the topoisomerase 2 of our own cells

topoisomerase 2 is especially important in the replication of the mitochondrial genome, as it regulates the winding of this small DNA molecule by removing positive twists ”

pam ayers  is like noel coward, dealing ostensibly in light comedy, there’s quite a bit more below the surface

“ anyway, there is an endless supply  of pigeons ”

swapping mouse hands frequently helps avoid carpal tunnel, actually i just try use my non-dominant hand a lot for the mouse and notice i drift back to the dominant

from what i read of huang po, he’s a talented literati, good but not fully enlightened, the same with dahui zonggao

anybody who leads a monastery is never going to be fully enlightened

it takes a complete wastrel like joshu to be fully enlightened

the vast majority of zen teachers in the records are not enlightened

its only through the visionary and long cogitation on various problems that full enlightenment comes and even then its definitely a process and final understanding only comes in a never ending partial mix

the meaning of a word is not what a person imagines, but the public use of it

if your use of it is too much your own imagination, then that is schizophrenia

since i think even regular exercises can cause unanticipated problems i have always been suspicious of  chiropracty

a good  explanation  of  ‘ causality ’  where religion meets philosophy

a pet is half a child, very restricting of mobility

i have discussed how to take the meaning of  ‘ zen ’  previously, it is unusual in that it has several public domain meanings that are conflicting and as per r|zen has a lot of aggressive and vigorous private conscription

the interest in zen as a medieval paradigm comes from the obsession in the medieval world with   “ final causes ”  with the conventional medieval world saying  “ such and such is a final cause ”  and zen saying effectively, you are mistaken in the way you think about final causes, but there is a final cause

today’s zen takes on the enlightenment  (historical period)  paradigm of there being no final cause which is, from a mystical point of view somewhat heterodox

undue private conscription of the meaning of a word or common use phrase is symptomatic of insanity imo

i fidn it fascinating the very interesting and complex world of the past winks in and out of existence and nothing is known of them today practically

today’s fruits are  dangerously sweet  for zoo animals

“ what do you do ? ”


“ so what do you do ? ”


noel coward  anecdotes ,  he could reach into people and touch them directly

somethings you do in the arts for money and somethings you do for experience

if its all money you will get stale

if its all experience

you will starve

joshu twiddled his thumbs

the old temple had a deconstructive life of its own and in a room across could be heard the thud of some structural feature collapsing

can’t eat dust he thought to himself, but the thought of going around asking those hard bitten villagers for food and their rude slamming of doors in his face was too much

i should have stuck with the monastic system he thought

what good is enlightenment if you can’t eat it ?

charles bukowski claims solitude is the only safe place, but not even solitude is safe

its interesting to consider what is the nature of fantasy, what is the relation of fantasy to reality

the female brain is a nightmare, why do men ever want to have anything to do with it ?

interestingly a lot of these chinese hermits lived very close to well heeled patrons or even palaces and were certainly not reduced to eating rocks

you are dreaming one story, i am dreaming another, which is the correct one ?

you are dreaming one narrative, i am dreaming another, which is the correct one ?

toothless watchdog shows his gums, burglar not impressed

communal notions of final causality are always mistaken, solipsist notions are not

why not work a few things out  d  r  e  a  m  e  r

the catholic church is almost entirely sprung from the writings of st. thomas aquinas

so much killing from a few books

zen spins layman pang as some sort of exemplar of a man who could ride the two horses of   ‘ married with children ’  and the monastic parsimony of zen, but they ignore that he went bankrupt, his children and wife suicided and he blathered crap

i have lots of experience with web forums having been quite active in the health area some years ago and have come to the conclusion that you have to be very careful to get something each time you post in terms of insight, information processing or whatever

r|zen improves my social skills surprisingly and i figure being able to talk to people who have widely diverging viewpoints from yourself is useful in real life, so despite my complaints about the moderation i recognise its useful to me and a subreddit that was more along the lines of what i think a good subreddit should be would in fact be less useful to me

i think all that zen is about is there can be an understanding of  “ final causality ”  from a solipsist view and to develop that


“ final causality ”  when implemented from a communal point of view is toxic and dangerous and was actually outmoded from enlightenment europe and on, but in medieval times huge communal resources were put into absolutely crazy implementations

ancient egypt is another good example

zen is a medieval paradigm and doesn’t make sense in today’s world

it only makes sense in a celibate context with parallels in christian, sufi and other celibate religious mysticisms

if you are married with kids that is where your responsiblity is and you will never work it out

i’m not saying one’s better than the other, they are just different, but so many end up some sort of blathering  “ spiritual ”  fake, riding two horses and getting split

muju had a sort of hidden crazy agenda, surprisingly there used to be a few like him on r|zen, they put up a front to appear to conform to zen, but underneath was something blazing psychotic, i think those types hang out in the discordian world somewhat now

r|zen used to be quite a bit different  —  really wild  —  i have been thinking about it and basically it has moved from moderation that paid attention to community wishes, but it was taken over by the theksepryo and moved to his private ownership, and he’s implemented his own low reading age buji zen form and callously uses ewk as his watchdog to implement it despite the severe consequences for ewk’s mental health

so r|zen is now just some kind of tepid dumbed-down nightmare complete with barking dogs

zen, i ching, buddhism, zen, christianity, islam, what is the point of quoting random nonsense ?

“ what’s the difference between a fist opening and a blossoming lotus ? ”

what’s the difference between writing something original and writing clichéd nonsense ?

hubricity is having an exaggerated pride, conceit or unfounded self-confidence

i can  recognise  the animals and fish, that’s ten thousand years ago communicating with you

i don’t do zazen but have two hours every evening just sitting in a chair or walking around in the dark or under a red light  (the brain perceives red light as dark so the circadian rhythm isn’t disrupted by staying up late)

sitting full or half lotus damages the knees and hips long term

of the zazen positions, the only safe one i found was putting a cushion on edge and using that so one was effectively doing a high seiza, but i’m light and short, if you were large or heavy that wouldn’t work

there is a lot of recent research on sitting in itself damaging the metabolic health, in my view the essence of  “ meditation ”  is not doing anything else, so basically its just mucking around doing nothing imo

the eastern european jews had a legend called  the golem  born out of victimisation in pogroms and guess what, the reality was the nazis

you cannot understand non-existance from the perspective of existance

if there was the slightest chink permitting access then the world as we know it would cease to exist

don’t worry about downvotes, some of my best posts have been heavily downvoted, it means people have been interested enough to read it and had their noses put out of joint which given the  gollum  mentality of a lot of r|zennists is a good thing

doctrines are endless like waves on the sea

the knowledge you acquire before dying is less than a grain of sand on the beach

what do the waves and sand say ?

what do the wind and clouds say ?

what does the sky and sea say ?

what do the earth and grass say ?

i always find philosophy interesting because the greatest philospher was the first  —  heraclitus  —  and there has been absolutely no progress made since

that is there can be no progress made

why ?

all women wear masks




the trouble with r|zen is if you post a while it acts like an attractor, people come in to fight you which is happening to me now

there’s no end to these  “ sleepers ”  and drop-ins, to post there is the labour of sisyphus

so i’ll stop posting i guess, its just not sustainable, also ewk is relentless if he thinks anyone will usurp him, though he’s a barking dog that has lost its bite

the history of military monasteries is quite interesting, they always got squashed, too much of a threat

“ a glimpse of what it must have been like for a monk to meet a zen master for the first time ”

its a woman, they can’t think and her only interest is bending the  “ zen master ”  around her little finger

the way the master stroked his beard he has some tactile stim, so you can guess which way this is going to go

a moderator took umbrage at my saying  “ its a woman, they can't think ”  and threatened to ban me

my  reply

its a joke, don’t you have any sense of humour ?

as if women can’t think, they think better than men and you apparently !

let being a mod teach you something, open discussions to see what is what !

you gonna ban me for saying women think better than men ?

cocaine kills brain cells, nerites is doomed

“ so if someone starts something with me ”

actually what i notice with reddit is people come out of the woodwork just to have conflict

its not just r|zen, but when i was posting on r|askdocs, young men  (usually working in emergency departments)  who hadn’t posted for six months would come out of the woodwork just to fight with me again, i remember one particularly gruelling thread on whether CAT scans causes radiation damage and eventually i found recent research which said there is no lower threshold for damage

just educating those aggressive amphetamine addled twits for what ?

the problem with r|zen is there are two classes of people, most just read rubbish and don’t do any meditative/contemplative time and the remainder who put in some meditative time just read junk and are no better off

also i think real contemplative work requires at least several hours of contemplative time a day, way beyond what is practical for most people and if you don’t do this you just end up in stupid tangles, like playing sisyphus on r|zen

the basic rule with vehicle electrical problems is like debugging a software problem on a computer, find the actual problem and don’t switch out stuff randomly

reading voltage and resistance with a multimeter is the basic car electrics skill

voltages tell you everything and are so simple to measure

i really object to being called  “ friend ”  by some-one who is quite hostile to me

what always surprised me is the way people in cults swallow what is obviously bullshit and get totally offended if you present them with contrary views

yes, i have made jehovah’s witnesses cry

people  (just about everybody)  insufficiently familiar with their interior life are never going to be confident enough about how things are to stand up to the opinion of the external world

i think meditation is an essential part of zen, just observing thought and not stupidities like koans or counting the breath

after some years you do pick up the reflective habit and no longer need to do zazen, but initially i think you do need to get some hours tucked away meditating

you do need to read  quality  or the meditation will just ingrain mental junk

look don’t get distracted by koi fresco’s new age bullshit, go for the sensible stuff on offer which is his life experience and personable manner

there’s nothing in life that is all right or all wrong, parse out what is useful to you

koi fresco on why he  stopped  smoking weed

garry essendine’s  travails  with the obsessed mad as a result of his fame, i think reflect noel coward’s experience

the insane will suck every last breath of your time with their chronic neediness and hubricity

i’ve contributed to a lot of wikis and don’t have any romantic ideas about how they work and what they are, this knowledge i got by  “ doing ”

i think reddit makes you callous, but its real

posted in r|depression 29th september 2018

So i was very drunk a little over three weeks ago when i slit my throat open but didn’t cut deep enough so i grabbed a knife, called a taxi, took out the knife, said to the driver that i need to go to city centre where i could find police, she panicked a little and started driving

At this point i didn’t care anymore about anything, i just wanted my plan to work

My plan was to kill myself through police shooting me dead

When we got to the city, police stopped the taxi cause the driver had pushed a button that ringed an alarm to the police, she opened the door and ran, then i opened my door and started to walk towards the policemen with the knife with no intention to stop

They yelled that they will shoot if i don’t stop while pointing their pistols at me but i kept going

Then it happened.  Bang.  I got shot.  But instead of the bullet killing me, I survived after three surgeries and intensive treatment

The first thing i noticed when i woke up was that i couldn’t feel anything below my ribs and that my legs don’t move.  The bullet had somehow hit my lungs and pierced my spinal cord, leaving me paralyzed

I can’t believe this.  I just want to die.  I know what i did was very shitty towards the taxi driver and the police who shot me.  I am facing criminal charges and possibly prison time for that

I don’t know what to do.  I just want to kill myself even more after this happening.  The surgeon who removed the bullet from my back said that i will spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair.  I don’t want to live like this

I don’t know why i wrote this story here but i hope that this can prevent someone from trying to kill themself cause there are worse things that can happen when you try to do so

if you have real life experience of zen then you will know its doing fairly concrete things like going to weekly sits with a local zen group, attending sesshins and as in my case visiting centers and monasteries for extended stays

you have contact with practitioners and masters

real life zen i would have to say is a fair amount of meditation which is its strength, i could do without the talks and liturgy

there are a multiplicity of meanings of the word  “ zen ”  and i think everyone uses some degree of private conscription in making their own version, but really you have to concede that this has a degree of private conscription outside the public domain

what is problematic is shoehorning the entire public domain into your privately conscripted meaning and engaging in the futile task of trying to claim the public domain as your own

meanwhile i am engaged in the sisyphean task of trying to save these offenders from this sisyphean fate

go figure

quotes can be crutches, stepping stones or a tar pit

quotes can be crutches or stepping stones

quotes are crutches

this is the congregation and priest view, but really the emphasis in zen is becoming the master, you obviously have no experience of real life zen

its not some collection of saints remote from you, the object is to become the saint and be quoted

you are trying to insert yourself as a priest between the congregation and masters, that’s just the christian, judaic, and muhammadan approach

what i mean is the truth of  “ enlightenment ”  cannot be conveyed, this is what is meant by   “ transmission outside the scriptures ” ,  that transmission to you is not a truth you can convey

“ supporting your argument with facts ”

this is the religious scriptural approach, you treat the scripture as factual and riff off that

the problem is that the  “ facts ”  are nonsense and same with zen as well, piss poor translations of who knows what meaningless babble

so this quoting of a zen text then giving a commentary is just a direct translation of the islamic and christian  “ systems ”

you get it a lot in real life zen to, however, in my view, the very few historical zen masters that know what they are on about are all saying the same thing, work it out for yourself and you won’t need or want quotes and you will speak originally and hit the nail on the head

look its not up to me to sort out your reading age and personality problems

there’s a wide world out there beyond any religion or thought paradigm

i think  “ truth ”  has a multiplicity of meanings in the public domain with an infinite number of contexts

quoting authorative texts as a  “ frame ”  to validate your own spiel has a certain humility because its a tacit admission that without the quote your spiel would just look the meaningless rubbish it is

why not add two and two ?

quoting zen masters as a  “ frame ”  to validate your own spiel has a certain humility because its a tacit admission that without the quote your spiel would just look the meaningless rubbish it is

why not add two and two ?

you don’t have the slightest self awareness at all


you people waste my time

well you clearly want to be stupid and must be if you didn’t pick up the contradiction in what i quoted of what you said

ewk  writes

brad warner doesn’t study zen

he can go join the catholics for sunday brunch

my  reply

you are too black and white, brad shows the typical soto weakness of very restricted general knowledge, but also shows the soto strength of self awareness and the ability to stand against conventional opinion that meditation potentially gives

you are in effect a theologian of zen and are missing the point of what zen is about

the priority is  “ what it is about ”  which takes one into other forms of mysticism like catholicism, the desert fathers and orthodox

keeping the blinkers on and imagining something called zen is the top of the tree is self willed blindness and its punishment is futility which is a sentiment i would have thought you were more acquainted with

don’t give me the usual cut and paste reply when you feel upset and contradicted

ed.  he gave the usual cut and paste, i don’t know what he thinks he is achieving except the maintenance of his blinkers

i have the core mystical truth and can see it cannot be conveyed

i have the truth and can see it cannot be conveyed

it can’t be conveyed, because in terms of this truth there is no-one else

i have the truth and can see it cannot be conveyed

you are too quick to definite opinions

grave art is a belief in the continuity of the world

i’m not a good speller but its important since people react badly to errors

you are stuck in the imagined sufficiency of your own horizons, this unfortunately is the human way

what’s so crazy about wrrdgrrl, ewk and that ilk, is the way they piss their time away for nothing, aggressive blathering forever on r|zen

you’re a pro for meaninglessness

you don’t seem to understand what you write

our lives have a natural developmental course that if interrupted, we will pick up again at almost any age if we can

everything makes sense until you think about the meta of why you do anything

wittgenstein takes the cake for one of the craziest lives ever lived

i have  read it  before, but this time around i found it deeply disturbing, perhaps because of the parallels in my own life i can now see

the trouble with the net is there is so much good information you just become a buzzing mess with it all

man about to be executed speaking to the gathered crowd

somehow i have got easier about dying, for its not i that am to be executed but you, how you will cope with the illusion of still living i don’t know

sophistic ellipsis, now i’ve seen everything

a graveyard is a random nothingness

the mathematical view of infinity is  ‘ unlimited ’ ,  but from our point of view its just one step after another forever

another r|zen idiot, there’s been a million before and will be a million after

what is the difference between interpretation and generating the source content ?

there is something that cannot be conveyed

it seems to me that people argue in r|zen on a premise that there is a core truth of zen that can be conveyed and there’s some systematic context it exists in, rather like nature of a scientific theory

but the core truth of zen is something that cannot be conveyed and we must draw on our own experience to interpret it

there’s no answers to philosophy in the normal semantic pragmatic space, you have to go to the poetic

genuine altruism versus  strategic  kindness

there is an intense schizophrenia to being female

there is an intense schizophrenia to being male

there is less schizophrenia to being male and female

my own visionary experience tells me most people are entirely clueless including the so-called  “ zen masters ”

all one giant fraud of pretenders and fakeness

very robust individuals with crazy ideas can hang around for a long time and have an undue influence on public opinion

an  explanation  of wittgenstein i can understand

click on  “ show transcript ”  for alan saunders interview of david rathbone

wittgenstein’s problem was his multilingualness, stuck in a semantic pragmatic space inadequate to the task he was trying to solve

you can’t argue with crazy

take that whichever way you like

“ some discount the sudden without the buildup via the gradual ”

they would be quite wrong, it can come from absolutely nowhere with no rhyme or reason

why do you speak for  “ zen masters ”  when you are not a zen master ?

zen  “ hamster ”  yes

“ some schools disagree about sudden or gradual attainment ”

they don’t really disagree, its the sudden plus long periods of gestation

so its both

you can’t discard the sudden though and that’s what distinguishes zen as the line of authority

you have a period of preparation and if you are interested enough the sudden will be forced to occur by necessity and perhaps luck

this is what people don’t get, without the sudden you can never understand so people spew the usual bullshit forever thinking it zen, but its just poor quality play

its just sort of  “ i’m right ”  and  “ you’re wrong ”  and fight fight fight

there is  “ no action ”  of realising, that’s not to say there isn’t realization, but there’s no reference frame it occurs in

‘ mind ’  is actually a european enlightenment philosophic term that imo doesn’t mean much

its a no exit street, there are much more productive avenues to walk down

“ you are fairly easy to deal with

how would you teach people to deal with extreme people ? ”

i think its important to take it step by step, don’t flip out, be civil  (important in dangerous situations, if the situation is not dangerous or has limited ramifications i am not necessarily so civil), you need to see where they are coming from and that’s what taking things step by step does

well you learn to deal with extreme people, i do think r|zen has made me much more able to  “ handle ”  people and difficult situations in real life, like confronting some burglars recently, felt confident throughout the conversation with three well built young men likely on speed

the whole thing about the net, is do you take some benefit from the interaction away with you

when people just insanely missionize you know they are not right in the head

you clearly have a reading age problem  !

just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean it is not understandable

heavens forbid but there may be limitations to your knowledge, experience and straight brain power !

just because you can’t understand something doesn’t mean it is not understandable

heavens forbid but there may be limitations to your knowledge, experience and straight brain power !

seigando, i don’t find you interesting, you just post vacuous nonsense, been through this before with idiots following me around the r|zen subreddit making claims on my attention

i am not going to reply to you anymore

the r|zen disease

why don’t you read what you reply to ?

grabbing a few words or not even that is a mark of disrespect to the person you are replying to and ultimately to yourself since replying is in itself a validation

you are schizophrenic in your own little world with secret meaning everyone is supposed to guess ?

you just have a couple of transparent sophistical arguing techniques and really beyond those you have nothing of substance to say

your replies are intended to confuse to match your own state, intellectually short and ambiguous !

translations provide a limited view of their real author

one of the problems with successful burglaries is they come back later

they know the house, how to enter, what security hazards they face and what they might likely find

theres always a question as to whether there’s a point in doing something, or is it pointless ?

a  “ simple concept ”  can be a simplification of something that intially appeared more complex, but with work, was reduced

what zen master

distorted what was said to him the way you do

defended a factional viewpoint so vehemently and with such a strong identification with the faction

ran away from answering a question he didn’t want to

was unable to understand simple concepts

confused pretense with reality

relied on  “ scripture ”  rather than his own understanding

was a slave of his own hubricity ?

“ do you work at being stupid or does it come naturally ”


there’s a sadness to life that’s always breaking through

there’s a sadness in life that’s always breaking through

if you just talk to yourself, your horizons are too closed

modern history study and archeology are not given enough credit for how they are changing our view of the world with their increasingly accurate recall of the past

religion is like literature for rednecks

i have been involved in soto and other variants/traditions of zen and it is a cult, that’s practically speaking

the  dhammapada  comes out of celibacy and asceticism, not to western tastes at all

meditation has a definite use by date, if you go beyond it you become stale and damaged

you should grow out of meditation within three years

any longer is to suffer from problems of  “ delayed development ”

its just a reflective ability you should be able to do anywhere with a bit of peace and quiet

some people are very uncritical of the attitudes they pick up, honestly, they’re just like the clothes they wear

writing is just a form of memory, that’s all and its quite a bit of all

this time around i’m feeling really burnt by r|zen, its just a festering mess of very aggressive insane people

its disrupting a hornet’s nest to question their insanity

error and mistakes are not tangible qualites, but when you see them you always step into a larger perspective

bruce lee died of heat stroke because three months earlier he had  sweat glands  removed for cosmetic reasons

how his son  died 

the web is full of loathsome idolatry of bruce lee, everything is so faux

why can’t you answer my question, seems simple enough ?

if you answer my question, you get your answer

our own minds, so noisy with the endless clatter of life

the endless clatter of life

there’s a sadness to life, its always breaking through

religion is a magnet for the insane and insane stupid

what is the hidden flaw in r|zen

the achilles heel ?

why has this taken me five years to figure out ?

its the same as real life zen, its a magnet for the insane and insane stupid

the queen gives  the nod  in the end, that’s because sparta was a matriarchal society

r|zen is just this heap of drug damaged trash

complete negation is one form of buji zen and promoted by those who disbelieve in   “ enlightenment ”

they are not  “ enlightened ”  so are pretending frauds, what can one say to these stupid beyond belief failed con artists ?

music is a drug

when i fast ,  i try to have a tiny amount of sugar daily to feed the right microbiome in the stomach to stop the protein eating microbiome dominating  (ie eats the stomach wall because there is no other food)

like taking a teaspoon of jam once a day

if nothing else ,  your inability to dialogue is symptomatic of real life mental illness

narcissism, borderline personality disorder and autism so thick you can cut it

september the 26th, new york is very viral at the moment with the seasonal transition

i think in the end things don’t add up, they never do

ewk, why so dogmatic about your imaginary construct called  “ zen master ”

the ones in real life are just stupid thugs

my reply  to

on the positive side you are actually looking at yourself and the way you behave

on the negative you are trying to orient towards rather dumb ideas about how things should be rather than being driven more by observation and recognition of a certain unknowability of outcomes

be careful of r|zen and real life zen a lot of people in them are quite insane  (though not in institutions)  and so are the ideas they push

well life is insane and you always get that very rough uncertainty coming through

i have shuffled half my life away, i don’t want to shuffle the rest of it away

we don’t really think about death do we, that total erosion of history

we don’t think about death really do we, that total erosion of history

only crazies believe in reincarnation

always the question is, how effective is the translation and how authentic is the document translated from

but   everybody rushes   the fools in as though the words were spilling from the mouth

i think the thing about brittany, like so many of her generation, is they are completely uninterested in anything beyond their own limited horizons

the first was a clanger

the second a dolch

the third an all banger and she was still  ‘ al dolch ’

twice the same failure is the same failure you know

r u  the fish or the bear ?

wow an alaskan  cam

jason says that what brittany talks about is just uninteresting to him

my  comment

she’s not that interesting as a person and to be fair, most women lack brain power

if you’ve ever seen a robin attacking its image in a mirror, somethings are like that, you can’t get anywhere because its you



twisted  obscene  insane

fake is as fake does : o)

fake is as fake does

the male  dream

supercompetence, isolation

the male dream

supercompetence, isolation

so what fucked your brain, alcohol, pot, lsd, do tell us !

these people are such a hazard on the net, passing their days in some shell of themselves, using you for their entertainment

imagine ten thousand idols from history, all in the same room, each arguing it is the true god

all your crap is syphilitic dementia and you don’t even have the disease

when the people are fake, their  “ experiences ”  will be fake

what i don’t understand about you people  (ed. r|zen)  and its the same with ewk is all the effort going into spewing nonsense when for the same effort with some real work you could be developing a better understanding

what is the point of living in some empty fantasy empire ?

rationality has no defense against some-one who does not want to understand

you show no sign of wishing to upgrade your reading and writing age would be the truth wouldn’t it ?

you show no sign of wishing to upgrade your reading age would be the truth wouldn’t it ?

you are caught in defending some idea about yourself making you irrational

you are caught in defending some idea about yourself

male bonding is a more intellectual process than for women, something very hard for women to understand

dumber than amonk

yet he pretends to be a zen master

pompous pretentious bullshit







ass would quote it

fighting gives the illusion of depth

r|zen is good for dealing with insane people which is actually quite helpful or you get a few illusions

an interesting account of   murder  of chrissie venn

i know the road

n.  t.  b.  a.  u.

not too bright are you

i started my own  subreddit  and at the time there was even more disaffection with the mods on r|zen than now, so the users came across to my sub and they behaved just the same as on r|zen, obnoxious, idle, full of themselves, in short a total waste of time so i banned them

i now have a twenty reader sub with practically no comments and that’s what works for me

its the people that make r|zen bad arse, everyone a prophet for themselves or their one or two man religion

its a literal psychward

be thank-full it keeps them off the streets

the world will always be in a constant state of revolution because of the tendency of the young to reject the ideas of the generation that raised it

the fundamental lesson of r|zen is you can’t beat it

i have never seen anybody beat it, not even the mods

you just can’t control it, its like life, its bigger than you and all you can do is try to get some benefit from the dealing

you think ewk and ronin are bad, then along comes do_zen, but they in turn will leave like others before them and we too will be gone like wisps of smoke in the wind

everything rolls on in the accident of life

i was staying at the providence kwan um zen center having just recently left  (been ejected from actually)  the mt. tremper zen monastery very dissatisfied with the  “ teachers ”  i had come across so far looking for some-one with some understanding and happened to be reading through back issues of their  “ primary point ”  magazine or maybe something else and came across an account of her visit there  (at their invitation)  and it included a talk by her and it was totally different to anything else i had come across in zen, it actually made sense so i planned then actually went up to the springwater center to stay from the kwan um cambridge zen center

oddly i found the people at the providence and cambridge centers easier to deal with and more personable than the springwater center, but springwater had its origins in japanese zen and the kwan um school is korean and more open

good follows evil and evil follows good, the direct vehicle is an illusion, why  chase  the smoke ?

a monk asked joshu

what happens when a man of experience is inept

joshu  replied

everything falls apart

“ you’ve got some kind of personality disorder ”

yeah.  me and  charles bukowski  ! :o)

“ there is something wrong with me besides melancholia ”  ,  one of his best lines

“ can you define the term  “ voynich ”  in plain english ? ”

something crafted to look profound or meaningful or have depth that actually is nonsense

religious texts are like this, but in fact its everywhere and its use is endemic in young people today

its a bit different from a con in that there’s no falsity because there is no truth, rather it is the crafted appearance of truth, but the deconstruction yields nonsense rather than falsity

isn’t it tautological that there is some validity to correctly assessed stereotypes ?

i suggest you search the term  “ voynich ”

its a wonderfully rich word and once you grasp it, you are way ahead

there are three categories, something may be true false or  “ voynich ”

are you saying there are no behavioral differences between the genders  ?

i believe in the constant female reversion to voynich when they are in the wrong

i felt that is a fair observation of the  “ modus operandi ”  of women and not sexist, men tend to physical aggression in a similar situation

i believe in the constant female reversion to voynich when they are in the wrong

well you can imply an inherent parsing of a contradiction in any declamation, i actually do that sometimes in my writing

but the key is to look at the context and the author’s writings to see what he actually thinks, usually there is no such intention or irony

zen is fundamentally about enlightenment experiences, not to say that  “ cultivation ”  is not important, but without the enlightenment experiences you are wasting your time

however in my observation people make them up, genuine people with genuine experiences only occur once every couple of generations, that why rujing made such a big deal of dogen, its a lonely experience being enlightened

look ewk, i had to take you through some research to convince you that dogen didn’t have  syphilis

you form opinions without adequate research, i have done quite a bit on dogen’s trip to china and think he went there and also studied with rujing

you put all your effort into declamations to try and make something so when what is required is a large amount of in depth research

since rujing was quite anti the lineage system, dogen made up his getting transmission from him and in dogen’s later life maybe he made other stuff up about rujing as well, but that rujing should have given prominence to dogen when genuine enlightenment experiences are so rare is likely

the soto church may bear little resemblance to what dogen founded, you can’t hold him responsible for its craziness

to understand the manic religious environment eihei dogen operated in and the pressures on him, amazingly there is a world famous book, way more famous than anything dogen wrote written eighty years after his death by a monk who lived in kyoto called  “ essays in idleness ”  also known as the tsurezuregusa of kenkō

i suggested to brad warner, that supposed translator of dogen that he read it, but he didn’t and it certainly opened my eyes to the inadequacies of brad, a supposed zen  “ adept ”

fuck you brad, you stupid git !

buddhism is a badly scripted soap opera

ewk has consistently shown an intense antipathy to dogen and in my view its because of dogen’s emphasis on enlightenment experiences and he even went so far as to fabricate one for himself, but it didn’t impress so he dropped it and went  “ nihilistic ”  which is his present stance

ewk will change viewpoints if he perceives its to his advantage and in fact he can plagiarise shamelessly

the thing about enlightenment experiences is they never mean anything to anyone else and until they happen to you, you don’t believe it and since they never happen to the vast majority, people can’t make sense of zen and craft some sort of atheistic nilhism and claim that’s what zen is about

“ how can you be certain of anything ”

yet you can be more certain of somethings than others ?

why are people obsessed with creating positions of certainty ?

conflict and its trauma can be surfed to improve dialogue and cognitive skills and actually situations

that’s one way, the other response which seems to be the usual is to dig the bunker deeper and make the concrete walls thicker

which option do you recommend ?

what is actually occurring with you ?

why are r|zen posters obsessed with creating positions of certainty ?

conflict and its trauma can be surfed to improve dialogue and cognitive skills and actually situations

that’s one way, the other response which seems to be the usual is to dig the bunker deeper and make the concrete walls thicker

which option do you think  “ zen masters ”  recommend

what is actually occurring with you ?

“ what are you talking about ? ”

quoting  you

‘ i can’t tell you what it is because of the limitations of language ’

a position of certainty is that is so, but a position of uncertainty would be open to that i can tell you what it is because language does cover the ground

shed the extraneous

my little declamation

shed the extraneous

one of the problems with religions is people let doctrine supplant common sense and actually this applies to politics as well

one of the problems with religions is people let doctrine supplant common sense

you have abandoned the reasoning process for declamation, what can i say ?

absurdity is not limited to religious but also cultural beliefs, the billions who think shakespeare wrote shakespeare and pore over stratford on avon and his life as being something more than that of an underworld heavy

unfortunately the buildings associated with sir henry neville are gone

if there was more justice, i would be famous and have an income from writing this, but there is no justice

you lack self-awareness, trying some shikantaza meditation would be helpful

“ zen ”  seems to be taken as justification for impoverished reading ages

i use the dictionary definition of  “ abstract ”

it seems to fit

i haven’t sought you out, you have sought me out, just have a think as to the implications of that

if you seek me out you have some respect for what i say and its malfunctional on your part to diss my replies to you

there’s a remarkable story about anna freud, the daughter of sigmund

after the german invasion of austria and the nazis started their anti-semitic program, she was picked up off the streets of vienna and taken to some sort of center where she was told to wait in a corridor until they came to get her later

she realised that she was going to be taken that night to be executed as this was the pattern so she looked around for a way to escape

she discovered a room with dissidents in who were being interviewed for loyalty and she joined them and being the president of a dissident group she fit naturally in there and was released with the others when the interviews were over

i have plenty of better uses of my time than spoon feeding lazy idiots

the three statements of zen are

one.  refer to the 2nd statement

two.  refer to the 3rd statement

three.  refer to the fourth statement

four.  there is no statement

the three statements of zen are

one.  refer to the 2nd statement

two.  refer to the 3rd statement

three.  refer to the first statement

its the inability to be helped that makes for insanity

idiot declamations without coherent explicated reasoning is  “ so r|zen ”

declaiming something doesn’t make it so

dogen went to china

dogen never went to china

you have to research it

there is no such thing as  “ buddhism ”

there is a such thing as  “ buddhism ”

i would regard any religion that had  “ buddha ”  as a supposed founder and the usual huge canon of pompous bullshit as  “ buddhist ”

the jesuit missionaries that first observed the various east asian religions gave accounts sufficiently different for them to be thought different religions, but on closer anaylsis they were in fact similar enough to come under the buddhist umbrella

buddhism is not particularly startling to western thought because incorporatation of buddhist ideas goes back  to hume

alison gopnik  discoverer

the silk road and greek-indo empires mean religions are much more mixed up than made out, particularly the creative influence of greek philosophy on buddhism, ch’an and taoism, for christ’s sake the terracotta army is modelled on greek statuary

religions with supposed historical founders are a roman empire, middle eastern invention

since you can’t be reasoned out of anything

why are you trying to reason others out of anything ?

since you can’t be reasoned out of anything

why are you trying to reason others out of something ?

“ i never think the same thing twice, so accuracy confuses me ”

what i find is i cycle, i often or indeed mostly come back to the same themes and observations, tidal really

but not always

“ but never identical twice ? ”

at the abstract level, identical, disconcertingly so

i do quite a bit of writing and transcribe both the spoken word and memories and can’t say i see much difference, i never use creative licence when transcribing my own thought

even direct  “ at the time ”  transcription  (ed. historical records)  has the problem of inaccuracy, the cognitive biases of the recorder intrude

hard to understand in this age of electronic technology of course, but in the times of scribes, record keepers and transcribers it was what one man said filtered by another

i’m feeling intentional missionizing is totally incorrect

a man dreamt he was butterfly dreaming he was a butterfly dreaming he was a butterfly    .   .   .

then a butterfly fluttered by

ewk dreamt he was butterfly dreaming he was a butterfly dreaming he was a butterfly    .   .   .

then a butterfly fluttered by

i think r|zen which is an odd mix  of tolerance  and intolerance forces you, the individual not to be concerned with any public benefit to your posting, but only your own private benefit

so to utilize r|zen for your own development is correct and to missionize is incorrect

its a wide world and there are a lot of different flavours of idiot

i think a basic rule for repairs is ascertaining exactly what is wrong so you can direct what should be done, or as usually pays, do it yourself

animation  of the destruction of pompeii

zhenru chan monastery in central china, disrupted by the cultural revolution, a health destroying climate, but perhaps an authentic glimpse into historical ts’ao tung /soto monastic life

the degree of hard manual labour looks a killer as well as the inadequate diet

and honestly, if this  film  is anything to go by with people shoehorning their ideas from the wrong semantic pragmatic space, just a complete waste of time, one really relates to the old zen master stories of reprimanding the monks

an  account  of a stay in november 2012

he’s dead he’s dead

he’s not dead he’s not dead

you can’t be self oriented enough, its tempering that with functioning socially that the narcissistic run into problems with

self-orientation is different from hubricity

i don’t write to help you, i write to help me, you are published  !

you have the toolbox  (ed. religions, cults etc)  and have been taught to substitute the group’s clichés for your own independent thought and probably are a bit mentally lazy on top of that

god sam harris is boring and blinkered

literature is not science, he really didn’t seem to understand the difference

jordan and sam  in debate

shingles, an unwelcome echo from childhood

the odd thing about this work of life inquiry, and you can see it in joshu’s life  (it is claimed he lived to 120,  is how long you have to live to start to get things right

the odd thing about this work of life inquiry, is how long you have to live to start to get things right

not all men have wives

not all men want wives

fighting may make you think you are less boring, but you are the usual claptrap quoting moron

i have noticed that only very damaged people talk to me

i have noticed with women that the implication they are damaged is unforgivable in their eyes

you are just interested in presenting a made-up face, when the make-up is stripped, rather than look at what is shown you just grizzle

in floridity there is an error

they come here  (ed. r|zen)  like you do to validate that scrambling clichés to create fathomable nonsense is evidence of some sort of higher being instead of the intellectual detritus they are

what i say is right because i say it

however even i can see that it might not be right so i quote scripture /zen texts /whatever and prance around them saying, ha ha i know why this is right and you don’t

problem solved

in nastier times of course you had the inquisition to back you up, actually you were the inquisition

these days the inter-web can absorb the endless aeons of trash this generates with only a wrinkle to show for it

insanity is simply being outside the boundaries

its entirely neutral to any truth, utility, beauty or ugliness in being outside

however not all outsiders are also not functional within the boundaries

if i get the feeling i will write a reply

if i don’t



“ IDGAF what u think ”

 you don’t give a fuck what you think, weird huh ?

female depression and self injury

ewk, why is it you go on so much about mental illness ?

we know don’t we !

you need to be more aware of yourself, no wonder you hate meditation so much, a glimpse of your seething unordered brain would unhinge you

where did you learn to think in bad clichés all the time ?

zen means

zen  “ really ”  means, ie what you want it to mean

its a word in the public domain and meaning is defined by usage

i don't know why the  “ missionaries ”  don’t get that

the vast majority of time is the past

what is confusing about the word  “ meditate ”  is its recent conscription by eastern religions to mean sitting in the lotus position or similar, but in fact the word in english is quite closely tied to prayer and christian contemplative practices

i would take it to mean sustained periods of contemplation

again you have the issue for the word being in the public domain but all the little different conscriptions tugging this way and that

i would say  “ shikantaza ”  is meditation but various  “ practices ”  are not, they are just filling in time and hoping something gets noticed which doesn’t seem to happen

sometimes it pays to look the other way, everything is a sort of ongoing negotiation

the forcible sweep of time going on and on

our memories get left

in the detritus

death is too permanent

dreams are dreams

mohammedanism, buddhism, christianity and judaism all have a common origin

“ the soap opera ”

“ space opera ”  in scientology’s case, but it is a bit thin on the human drama side and never really has been a contender as a religion, that’s an interesting way of looking at whether its a religion or not, there’s something about it not being a religion, lacking the depth to be more than a psychotic break, unlike actual religions which necessarily do have some actual depth

“ cancer cells are more stressed because they have more oxidants ”

an interesting  study  that covers a few different bases with not the usual perspective

“ basically you eat food to get high-energy electrons

you breathe oxygen to get rid of these electrons after extracting useful energy

you age and die because of the inefficiencies between these two processes ”

محمد هو بوذ

a post enlightenment koan : o)

traditionally, monasteries also doubled as a type of psychward, r|zen fulfils that function today

shikantaza, understood truly is  “ instructionless ”  however one way of explaining it is to observe thought, but actually it can include problem solving

what is destructive in meditation is working on so called koans, counting the breath or as the tibetans do, creating visual schema

its not a lifetime activity, after several years you should get the hang of doing it on the fly

the trouble with dealing with  “ groupthink ”  is if the group perceives you as being too questioning or a bit anti, you will be given the boot

yeah i have been expelled several times, once from a monastery, i did learn to be much more careful in what i said and did

just a few words can have a bunch of people writhing paroxysmally, quite amazing

i’m not saying meditation is phoney, the shikantaza form anyway is real observation of yourself, so its not  “ practice ”

mostly the way i see so called  “ koans ”  used is the illiterate pretending to be literary, but i like to retranslate various zen stories and find that useful

group discussion can sharpen cognitive and speaking skills or it can be a mindless absorption of   “ groupthink ”

so its like life, whatever occurs occurs, but you can take it phoney which is usually all the collective shit, or you can take it real which is solipsist

the problem with zen is the extremely poor quality of the teachers because of the lineage transmission system, honestly just a magnet for morons

you are buying into it and that should be a hell of a red flag for you

this is coming from wide experience and observation in zen and buddhism

that what they call   “ practice ”  is the most phoney thing i have seen

just a system for keeping dumbed down intellectual cripples in their place

hang up your brain and suck whatever dick

i was watching  this guy’s  prison videos and i thought the prison experience is not what people think, its highly socializing and gives people smarts, the level of dealing with people is feminizing, because that’s all they have to do, is deal with people

the thing about tenants is their  “ quality ”

if they pay regularly, are quiet, not needy and don’t damage the place or even improve it then that is everything

you have picked up your debating techniques from ewk ?

s  a  d

it took me quite a while to pick up people like you, one of your basic techniques is to distort what is said to you, you will never be wrong but what is the point ?

all ewk’s years on r|zen, what is the point, so much expended energy and no skills gained, quite the contrary, bad thinking and behavior habits ingrained

another ewk trick is declamations as though they are true and that ends the matter

hallmark seems to be some sort of second rate actors club, jobs for the boys and girls

hallmark seems to be some sort of second rate actors club, jobs for the girls and boys

yeah, i take 400iu of vitamin D and 90mcg a day of mk7(k2) in the morning, as you say my  tooth health  has been exceptional, i am a bit surprised actually to see some-else has figured it out !

the vit K2 is also an excellent antidepressant and immune stimulant, sometimes several hours later i may take another 90mcg of the mk7-k2, but am cautious as the immune stimulation, as you say can cause joint pain

gesshin/claire greenwood, why not pack up the post modernist neo marxist post structural academic detritus and put it were it belongs, the garbage can of history  ?

the summit of human experience is to share the boundary of being with somebody else, wife, lover, husband, children, parent

there is a higher summit of inhuman experience

this summit is the last word

my four rules of zen

there is no doctrine or system of understanding that one may aspire to, that once in possession of gives a superior knowledge or position

anybody claiming, explicitly or implicitly to be a  “ zen master ”  is a retarded idiot

in essence the best of the christian and islamic mystical traditions are concerned with the same questions and problems as zen

all the ceremonies and liturgical rigmarole are not simply a waste of time, but the wrong direction

i regret ever getting involved in zen, the teachers don’t know what they are about, its all just crazy stupidity

its as simple as quality reading and getting some solitary time, but who does this ?

scratch a shallow idiot and the nail comes out the other side

scratch an r|zenner and the nail comes out the other side


talk to a stranger

and see

some quietness

in their eyes

we share an external reality in terms of sight, sound and sense objects, but in terms of motivation, no way

rather than tell people how things are, step back and observe a bit

“ zen master ”  like a christian  “ saint ”  is a literary construct, it doesn’t exist in reality

a monk asked  :  if the old mirror is not polished, will it still shine ?

joshu replied  :  the cause lies in a former life, the effect in this life

my  explanation

the monk is asking

why is there work necessary if infinity is already complete ?

joshu’s reply is that infinity is not already complete

BPA and their  “ safer ”  replacements  amplify  insulin release which can lead to insulin resistance and type 2 diabetes

joshu/zhaozhou is one of the very few genuine zen masters, its dai hui and huang po i object to

joshu was certainly not literati, unlike dai hui who just reeks of it

public domain meanings of a word are not susceptible to the ad populum criticism since its tautological that public perception of a meaning is in fact what is in the public domain

you need another term of reference to establish the truth or falsity of a view

as i have said before you  (ed. ewk)  have taken the song literary construct called  “ zen ”  and converted that into a fundamentalist religious doctrine as befits your midwestern roots

with fundamentalism you have the extraordinary spectacle of soap operas converted into life advice

you’d think a word like  “ lemon ”  was relatively unambiguous but it has several public domain meanings and some slang ones as well

i think people define zen as unattainable, but if it were attainable, it would be attainable in their terms

so everyone spends their time arguing over the terms and lose sight that  “ unattainable ”  renders conscription to their terms as rather pointless

let everything completely break down

of course it never happens

we make a few changes

and that’s about it

if only we all had the sense to leave each others private beliefs alone

the jehovah’s witnesses have just visited my neighbour

she has been only back three days after two-three months away, she must have asked them

i don’t think they are listening to her if they think there’s any hope

they don’t come to see me anymore which makes me think, that depsite their claims, they do keep lists of people to avoid

i know i rattled the last couple of lots, they went away crying

i think the love between a man and woman is largely an illusion since its purpose to to create the impression of less distance being between them than there actually is

its funny how you can sense things, the heroine of this better than average  hallmark  movie has something about her, a sort of intelligence i guess

well her sister is the very good  poet  melissa reeser poulin, obviously something runs in the family

i’ve been  sent back  until my task is done

your reply is cringey, dismissive and defensive, surely you can do better than that ?

your reply is dismissive, cringey and defensive, surely you can do better than that ?

your reply is cringey and defensive, surely you can do better than that ?

all religion is inappropriately mapping from imaginary realms into reality

what is worse, an insane woman or an insane man ?

so the template  (ed. OP’ing on r|zen)  is you post some meaningless bullshit

then you dance around like some vile gollum with all your gollum fraters

“ precious ”  “ precious ”  jeezz you people, disgusting does not describe you !

well the usual bullshit cut and paste from ewk  (not included)  by way of reply to the above

my  reply

you have no shame, can’t reply to the points, admits to having contact with  “ mental health professionals ” 

well you are making progress in no longer using the image of a white coated kindly uncle doctor tossing handfuls of anti-psychotics to the queue of grabbling supplicants as he walks past,  they too cry “ precious ”  “ precious ”

jack the ripper smiles and walks away, he’s got something right

well jordan peterson makes the point about starting is you have to start, its going to be a mess but if you don’t start then it doesn’t start

buddhism, zen, christianity, so much froth on the waves

what i have noticed is no-one believes in  “ breakthrough ”  experiences  (or dai kenshos)  because they and this includes 99.99% of supposed zen masters don’t believe in them because they have never had them, rather, like vince horn, they make up stuff of how they think it should be from reading other pretending idiots and adding some extra pretence of their own

your  “ bridge experience ”  i felt was valid brad, the unusual feature of it, is that it occurred and was never followed by other  “ dai kenshos ” ,  my own experience is that by the time you die, you should have clocked up thousands, well maybe several hundred over a lifetime

its really unusual, you sorta got somewhere then got stranded, i don’t know why

yes, i know you don’t like the word dai kensho

buddhism presupposes that such experiences are generally accessible but they are not, they are incredibly rare, only one person every couple of generations

druggies and ex druggies never seem to get their  “ experiences ”  are not genuine kenshos, rather they continue to milk their craziness for more insanity

you are too nice to vince, you should be  “ killing ”  that crap artist, in fact your whole  video  is quite weird from trying to be too fair to a total bullshit artist

i saw this fairhaired boy in a light coloured shirt with light blue stripes in front of me ,  he had his head turned to his right and he was saying something

i asked him  “ who are you ”  and he disappeared

now i think about it, he may have been a younger me, slightly reshaped or identically authentic ?

even the russia today interviewer doesn’t  believe them  !

there’s more to this than meets the eye, the deliberate targeting of yulia skripal as well as her father to increase the GRU and putin’s intimidation power must not sit well with the russians given the way families were also punished under stalin

writing and observations are constant gymbals on a gyrating world

if you get the words right, its really like a poem, there’s an extra dimension beyond the conventional sense, extra dimensions actually

you dropped the ball, but as usual are oblivious to the fact

the word  dharma  is a bit like  zen  semantically, conflicting spasms in the  public domain

the word  dharma  is a bit like  zen  semantically, multitudinous meanings in the  public domain

“ disease ecology underlines the power of the environment and health to fundamentally  shape  human civilizations and human history ”

“ the healing process is a  dynamic circle  that starts with injury and ends with recovery

the molecular features of this process are universal

emerging evidence shows that most chronic illnesses are caused by the biological reaction to an injury, not the initial injury or the agent of the injury

the illness occurs because the body is unable to complete the healing process ”

the interesting thing about eihei dogen is the extent to which he killed himself, he may have picked up tuberculosis in china and his founding of a monastery in the misty cold mountains was certain death for him

apparently the design had a lot of chinese features being draughty and not suited to the climate it was built in at all

when an elderly person is completely irrational, there can be other causes like the onset of dementia symptoms which can be subtle to pick

post 50 psychosis and schizophrenia are big ticket items too

the problem with diagnosing historical syphilis is it wasn’t well defined as a disease then and can conflate with other causes of death and forms of illness

the classic is whether neitzsche had syphilis or a congenitial brain condition

i’m certainly not going to put in the extensive research required to confirm neitzsche one way or the other or the possibility that pascal had syphilis in addition to his litany of other problems

thomas hardy gave syphilis to his bride on their honeymoon, she went mad from it and you can always see the pathos of such a destructive event underlying his writing

blaise pascal died of tuberculosis and/or, stomach cancer and had contracted gastrointestinal tuberculosis in childhood

he was astoundingly productive for one so  beset by illness 

“ I am 9 ”

life’s clock spins so fast it will soon be one hundred and one gets to travel   on the zephyr

ewk_zen  =  inerrant scripture from the tang and song, a syphilitic untravelled dogen, a con artist hakuin, buji nilhism and oddly i think a belief in an historical buddha

the moderators of r|zen do not regard themselves as holding their positions in trust for the community, before theksepyro did his sly takeover they did and the forum was much more robust, now its just  “ zen douche hangout ”

with unerring judgment they delete the best half of my OP’s what can i say ?

what is wrong, if you can call it wrong because its just a style is the way they censor to favour yellow bellied dumbarses and douchebags

the best suggestion i could make is the moderators rotate out on a regular basis to be replaced by a member of the wider posting community, perhaps also with regard so no particular faction dominates

that this will never be done shows that the reality of r|zen control is the actual moderators and not the community

insanity is when some-one puts a large amount of energy into something non-productive and internally inconsistent

life therefore is insane

bascially the world is  like  a farce or bad joke

a bunch of blind idiots running around, touching this and that and saying what bears no resemblance to what they touch

i’m better than jordan peterson ,  kazuo ishiguro ,  haruki murakami, yet i will never be in a public interview or talk, never get a nobel prize and when i die my writing will slip into the sea

only a woman could love a man

well that came to mind and i thought i’d check it out on google expecting it to be plastered everywhere, but not one reference

i have used colloidal silver as drops in infected cats eyes and my own, works very well

it is a toxic heavy metal, you want to be cautious about too much use

what philip failed to write on the  graduate’s napkin

this is the mark of philip larkin

famous for my sarkin

this mark is mine

and will live on

when i am gone

what philip failed to write on the  graduate’s napkin

this is the mark of philip larkin

famous for his sarkin

this mark is his

and will live on

when he is gone

even clichés have more originality than what real estate agents write

life is indeterminate

if people complain about a lack of conclusion, its because there is no conclusion

louis rossmann speaks about  the real costs  of  “ douchebag ”  customers

people can be such idiots they can’t tell the difference between nonsense and sense, indeed they prefer nonsense to sense

the people on r|zen are such idiots they can’t tell the difference between nonsense and sense, indeed they prefer nonsense to sense

all these people  drink like fish  and don’t seem to much the worse for wear, i don’t drink at all and have just spent a week recovering from a virus and had a shingles outbreak on my right arm, i researched shingles and the varicella-zoster virus is a nasty one, you can get nerve damage from shingles, so as soon as the new shringrix vaccine starts to stock i’ll get that

what i found is even drinking very small amounts of alcohol knocked the edge off me, so some-one like adrian chiles who appears more than competent in real life was in fact capable of much greater heights but never reached them

i do wonder if drinking high chromium beverages like wine and beer do provide nutritionally significant chromium, i supplement  chromium

well joshu is a very good example of what it takes to be one’s own source of validation rather than relying on scripture and communal opinions

he lived a long time and was interested in this work from a very young age, that’s what it takes, you can’t just read something and repeat it and expect any depth

its a lifetime activity of engaging these fundamental questions with your own observations

it really takes celibacy imo, for instance the married family man jordan peterson who is very good, is still off the mark, but joshu isn’t

i would retranslate that  (foyan)  as  “ since you are yourself, in a sense everything springs from you and it is nonsensical to look elsewhere ”

so r|zen is just one endless validation from outside ourselves which is not what it is about at all

so if i retranslate i use my own experience and insight to recover close to what must have been originally intended

this is the problem with medieval writings, there will be heaps of the then contemporary associations and changed word meaning that are inaccessible to even translators

one who has some distance on life is only partially released from conventional social concerns

those who argue for the complete release are talking total nonsense

i am just amazed at the number of women  in the comments  not understanding the implications of mental illness in boyfriends

so much of the web is life ignorant fancifulness

when you look at a quote, is it a bunch of nonsense or not, why would you think it was otherwise than pretentious ramblings ?

inept quotes and commentary is your level

the patter of your blind hubricity

the seven fundamental flaws of r|zen

1.   failure to accept that the word  “ zen ”  is in the public domain and has a varied assortment of meanings

2.    failure to distinguish between historicity and literary works by littérateurs : dahui zonggao, wu-men hui-ha, wansong xingxiu, eihei dogen and hakuin ekaku

3.    failure to accept that zen, like christianity and islam is predominantly a literary construct

4.    to fall into the christian and isalmic modes of accepting or assigning some piece of trash status as  “ scripture ”  and arguing from there

5.    failure to understand the the huge baises in western translations and the intrinsic inaccuracies, that translations are cut off from the fluency of understanding in the original language and therefore are always interpretations

6.    failure to assign the appropriate levels of uncertainty in supposedly genuine transcriptions

7.    the attempt to project literary notions and abstractions into the grunt world of physical reality

lacking intelligence and insight

the dumb ones

play dumb


they don’t have to play dumb

they are dumb

a one to two degrees celsius rise gives a two to six meter sea level  rise

let me guess, in life you show a clean pair of heels as well ?

not afraid to quote trash and reply trash

afraid to reply sincerely

self-willed cretinism is disgusting

you are a pretender to an understanding you don’t have

he quotes in meaningless junk

he replies in meaningless junk

he calls himself a winner


an hypothesis is a theory

until proven

an hypothesis is theory

until proven

there’s more than meets the eye to life

 what is this  “ more than meets the eye ”  ?

nero was a complete  outlier ,  totally unlike any ruler before or since

there are people on the web, persistent beyond belief with their error

i think how mysticism differs from conventional religion is there is no argument for improvement of the world or even continuity

i guess wiccan is a sort of cosplay

everything is a hypothesis

until you prove it

everything is a hypothesis

until proven

i wonder if  this  is asymmetric

women always have this ideal that is never met

but men don’t really care

serena williams behavior is quite explainable, she is being displaced by the pretty 20 year old naomi osaka

art requires harmony and to say something, deliberate dissonance goes nowhere, there’s already enough around

rafael lozano-hemmer’s  “ installation of sphere packing bach ” ,  video a third the way  down

thems that copy


thems that copy, copy

the clasp of mediocrity will never let you go, will it ?

the clasp of mediocrity will never let you go

married with kids can never be enlightened

the priority of your life is elsewhere

married with kids can never be enlightened

“ later, when yangshan had become a master himself, guishan sent him a mirror as a gift

when yangshan went to the hall where his monks were assembled, he held up the mirror and said to the assembly

‘ please say whether this is my mirror or yangshan’s mirror, if someone can give a correct reply, i will not smash it ’

no one answered, and yangshan smashed the mirror

my  reply

note :  the mirror will have been polished metal and the reference to the trans-gendered monk is not casual or meant derogatorily, indeed the opposite

a trans-gendered monk stepped forth and said ,  ‘ let me look into it ’

yangshan was dumbfounded and dropped the mirror which landed with a clang

the transgendered monk walked forward and picked it up looking into it and adjusted his/her hair

as she walked back all the while looking into the mirror, yangshan and the monks and the hermitage were sucked into it leaving the monk and eventually the monk got sucked in leaving a peaceful scene with the sun high overhead, the distant mountains visible in a misty blue, a sparkling stream purling nearby

and a stone inscription in the ruins of the hermitage asking  “ what went on here ? ”

women looking attractive for men is really their idea

the illusion they are caught up in is so powerful that men are really peripheral

my reworking of the first paragraph of mumon’s preface

mystical reality has no foundation and talk of gates is dreaming

those that claim to pass, claim

objective understanding is also a claim

the numerous stupids claw through meaning arriving at nowhere

pyotr tchaikovsky’s  “ hymn  of the cherubim ” ,  i suppose he would be beaten up in today’s russia

it was obviously a huge influence on  angus dei

so much so and the two works are so outstanding you should listen to them days apart, together they clash

so many times, i have looked at something but was unable to  “ get into it ”  and from looking again, weeks to many years later i walk straight in

the trouble with writing is that you can offer effective and pointed criticisms ,  but people are limited by their own mediocrity and can’t escape it

you can make judgments about what is productive for people to follow, but mostly they don’t

every couple of days i get a second sleep of about two hours in the afternoon

john loori had a degree of schizophrenia, it took me a long while to work that out

i think its a symptom of depression to always expect to be be badly treated and be uncomfortable when you are not

that’s what i picked up when you  (ed. brad warner)  were at tassajara, you were about the only zen teacher they ever had who had any sort of real understanding of zen and yet they treated you like the usual moron to have their life bled for manual labour and their financial bottom line

i think its symptom of depression to always expect to be be badly treated and be uncomfortable when you are not

what is  “ social control ”  ?

when everything except your private thought is controlled

there is always an implicit underlying violence

what is  “ social control ”  ?

when everything except your private thought is controlled

i think there is always an implicit underlying violence

what is  “ social control ”  ?

when everything except your private thought is controlled

brian o’nolan, another literary alcoholic, but his life  was gentle

brad warner is an apologist for social control systems that always excise him ,  he never seems to get that does he ?

noah levine’s father stephen was very strongly influenced by neem karoli baba  (maharaj-ji)  who was a mixed bag shall we say, but now i think about it, noah operated more like a hindu guru than anything else and honestly whether its buddhist or hindu nonsense doesn’t matter, its about about the social control techniques that come with hinduism

hinduism is more personal and suave with sex and money always simmering below the surface, zen social control is outright fascism past stupidity, noah seems to have straddled the two systems in a form that doesn’t work

jason writes of the jordan peterson talk he attended at the nycb theatre in westbury

so i ended up leaving twenty minutes into questions at the end of jordan peterson, he was answering questions on twitter so he wasn’t really interacting with the audience and i figured it will probably be posted online

one thing i took away from it was that you might think that these public speakers disconnect themselves from the audience, but actually they interact with the audience a lot, he looks directly at people in the audience and will start sort of judging them and speaking about their situation

he was looking at this drop dead gorgeous woman, who was even distracting me since we made eye contact a couple times and noticed each other, she was with this guy who looked like he had some money and he started talking about high status men will go after something directly   .   .   the woman looked uncomfortable because he was talking about how that guy was going after that woman

he looked at this black guy in the audience and then started talking about athleticism and basketball ,  this guy was sitting right in front of me and was really tall, it was annoying me

he looked at me and started talking about how not everyone can be albert einstein ,  this one might be more iffy

an interesting topic he brought up was how everyone is an idiot when they start something new

so renaissance italians didn’t understand the importance of incorporating animal thyroids in the diet

a hypothyroid  lisa gherardini  aka the mona lisa

testimony  to the insanity of man ?

there’s quite a bit of research showing significant adverse health effects from living next to busy roads

god, the times literary supplement is an endless welter of camaraderie schmuck

certain types of understanding i have are beyond others and conversely understanding they have is beyond me

i don’t think emma thompson is mad at all, she is saner than cringing normality

“ is writing a political act ? ”

yes, solipsism versus the collective

the tragedy of the  ‘ inevitable decline ’  is it is already occurring

people have two modes of talking, to your face and behind your back

don’t expect the first without getting the second

the origins of sports are  battle practice

the danger of solitary living is keeping too straight a course and not changing direction when you need to

jason  writes

yesterday we had this crazy lady come in, she wouldn’t let me hold the cat for the vet to examine it, i thought he’d be upset

after the exam i said to him  “ i didn’t know how to handle that lady ”

he said  “ sometimes you just have to go with the flow ”  which was a good reminder

i don’t think its possible to extricate intelligence from experience

different experience gives rise to different types of intelligence, some more easily measured than others

intelligence is in part determined by experience and experience varies

this picture of some exceptional people having a uniform high intelligence is a total myth

if women weren’t schizophrenic, they wouldn’t breed

jason  writes

i had met a co-worker’s son, he seemed to be autistic to me

a week or so later a commercial comes onto the radio while at work, talking about autism and its symptoms

my coworker gets visibly upset, mocking the commercial loudly to myself and another worker

when i met her son again we got along very well, he lead me to the animals so we could go feed them, he would show me his gameboy where he was playing  “ pokemon ”

he reminds me of myself at his age, 6, always going to the animals and playing pokemon on my gameboy   .   .   so naturally we get along !

although my coworker is in her early fifties this is her first and only child, i’m sure it wasn’t easy for my mother either even with two children before me !

if something you have no control over goes against you, there’s no point in being unpleasant about it

noah levine’s  “ troubles ”  are in fact symptomatic of a degree of early dementia typical of alcohol and drug abusers, he’s now 47 when you would expect it to start to bite more deeply

he’s not doing the usual  “ absolution of sins ”  dance, that’s dementia, not  “ principles ”

i emailed the above to brad warner and he replied that he didn’t know enough about either noah or dementia to make a judgment

my  reply

you seem naive about life and people sometimes, more like wilful ignorance, why is that ?

i just realised, actors and actresses never have any skin problems

with my links, they are interesting in themselves and lead somewhere

so its like an infinite number of rabbit holes

you don’t have to  be defensive  about living a solitary life, apart from good health, its the greatest gift you can get

if you have the inclination : o )

the macrium cloning software works best from a fresh restart and don’t fire up chrome etc, keep the software running to a minimum and don’t connect on the internet and temporarily stop the anti-virus so the clone software has as unconfused a picture of the state of the computer as possible

if the clone ssd is new or of unknown provenance, check it with the antivirus first since you will be turning off the anitvirus for the cloning

hiding behind a wall of anonymity

he obviously doesn’t get

downvoting is fake

flash memory chips, that’s the actual chips on the ssd get written to more deeply if they are warm so if you just let the target ssd idle with the power on for ten minutes before making the clone that should be enough

its important for cloning because you want deep write programming since the clone will stay unused and unpowered for months on a shelf  (best stored in a cool place)  and you don’t want any data to disappear

“ simply put, a flash cell stores data as a charge that is trapped on a floating gate in a transistor

a program  (i.e. write)  operation injects electrons to the floating gate and an erase operation removes electrons from the floating gate ”

usb sticks have as part of their specs very deep write programming to hold the data, you have to be more careful with ssd’s as for speed purposes the writes are not so deep

everything gone


the trial of parenthood

your children are not like you

go away zen fakes

i don’t know why these zen people want contact with me, they are fake and haven’t learnt the first step of being  ‘ unfake ’  and never will in their lives

you burn my time for your own futile benefit

we go through life generating half completed sums

you actually have to complete the sums to move on

we go through life generating half completed sums

you actually have to complete the sum to move on

“ its not wrong ”

well nothing is ever right

the new  archetypes

anti-progress i am afraid

what a load  of bullshit ,  pope benedict was sacked because he was too flagrantly a  “ queen ”

look at the poncy dress of the cardinals, its like something out of  fellini

shorter but  with subtitles

ex-pope benedict is still winner of the best dressed and most exquisitely tailored cleric award which he always has been

the catholic church is nosediving to perdition let alone trying to cope with the monster creeping up on it

jesus was not an historical person, but the lead character in a ghastly soap opera

with the web, you want to learn to research practical stuff, rather than get stuck in forums of toxic people

when i look at novels and stories, all that writing is just about one or two paragraphs, so i skip the stories and just write the paragraphs

last wednesday having shopped at the  “ nut house ”  rather than go on to woolworths  (accessed from the same carpark) ,  almost impulsively i walked down to the river then out past   “ pedros ”  through the yacht club and along the river sea wall to the beach, only i have absolutely no memory of walking along the sea wall, like i never existed for a while

the beach was hung in the dusky distant views, a quiet sea and clear sky, one felt suspended

the joke is of course we don’t ever go to our own funerals, so why should we go to anyone else’s ?

avoid every funeral you can is my motto

“ no nobel prize for literature will be awarded in 2018, with the swedish academy tentatively planning to announce two winners in 2019 ”

paul simon and led zeppelin ?

the wind cave ,  a short story by haruki murakami


“ my basic view of the world is that right next to the world we live in, the one we’re all familiar with, is a world we know nothing about, an unfamiliar world that exists concurrently with our own

the structure of that world, and its meaning, can’t be explained in words, but the fact is that it’s there, and sometimes we catch a glimpse of it, just by chance  —  like when a flash of lightning illuminates our surroundings for an instant ”

everyone thinks, its not going to be me and mostly but not always, they are right

i don’t think you know what you are on about and you are behaving as though you know what you are on about, so what have we to say to each other ?

sometimes you can use words so broad they are meaningless

its quite a common sophistical technique in current use

sometimes you can use words so broad they are meaningless

i find it takes a very long time to understand a woman, over more than a year, the male brain is  “ blinded ”  to figuring them out

several bad experiences and you eventually get there

what do you mean, if indeed you mean anything except you don’t like to read or think ?

i am overcrowded with incoherent things

i am overcrowded with irrelevant things

why does everyone overlook the obvious about elizabeth bennet in pride and prejudice ?

she’s a monster

the human adult prefers war to realigning their thinking

why do i always get these obsessive nuts who follow me around on the web and try to beat me down to their point of view, when i was posting on r|zen it used to take about six months of beating back for them to get the message and actually ewk never got the message, mr. indefatigable, and its actually the oddest thing, his posting has improved since i left, and seems more rational which made me form the view its really his board, i must have been stressing him

toni packer had an attempt on her life, a woman pulled a pistol on her in interview, the crazies who just seem only to want to kill what they disagree with are i think perhaps the main reason i have and continue to avoid any public profile since i seem to upset a lot of people, how long would i remain alive, even now in a limited way one of these turds is trying to harass me with downvotes, my god no wonder i had to ban all the r|zennists from my zen_mystical subreddit

on the other hand one is never entirely rid of these pestilences and real life is as problematic, my current neighbour is a bit crazy but if i keep aware the situation is controllable  .   .   .

its interesting that jordan peterson has some  approximation  to the scd and bcd diets, his big mistakes are seaweed and not pressure cooking carrots to make them more digestible and pasturizing fruit to extend the range of what he can eat

plus cream, plus warm milk with the houston peptizyde enzyme plus taurine   .   .   .    plus way more pluses

i’ve got it all worked out and no-one is interested ,  all i get is an insane downvoter on r|zen_mystical

these high protein diets are an approach to the biofilm carbohydrate and specific carbohydrate diets, but still way off

as you get older, there’s more difficulty processing protein so you’re going to find yourself in a corner

what gives jordan peterson his edge is decades as a therapist and dealing with mentally ill people, some severely

also his job as a lecturer

from watching jordan peterson’s videos i notice people should think out their questions more before asking and not use the question time to make their own lectures

jason  observes

i feel like Q&A’s are always like that, i saw karl ove knaussgard answer questions after a lecture and it was the same story

i was always lucky to come across toni packer in person, she’s gone now, but the opportunity was so rare its hard to think about !

i was always lucky to come across toni packer in person, she’s gone now, but the opportunity is so rare its hard to think about !

artistic skills are a developmental process, if you really like doing it, just keep doing it and things will improve, i figure its taken me all my life to learn to write

if you take drugs or alcohol then you will get set back

suicide is not always  irrational

a family friend died a year or so ago, i don’t feel it was irrational and credit to him for that, though its not a popular view

similarly another friend here in tasmania a decade ago, though i bore some repsonsibility

whereas a young relative many decades ago was smoking too much pot and was in a relationship that left him too fragmented, i always feel a twinge when i think about that because i didn’t know enough then to be of use, but i do now

women  thinking straight

because raising children and social networks are the central issues in their lives

from the limited feedback i get about these pages, you really don’t know what resonates with people and why

so i put up pretty much everything i can

jordan peterson is interesting, but from a mystical point of view he’s not quite on target

haruki murakami  is more mystical, and useful, though not quite on target, well he can be

i have some idiot downvoting me on  zen mystical

it really annoys me, but the mechanics of the way subreddits operate means i can’t exclude him, anonymous as he chooses to remain

anyway i posted to this problem and as i was writing it occured to me he really was mentally ill and won’t change

seen so much of this before


to my mentally ill downvoter

its mentally ill to downvote on a subreddit with only fifteen readers, why r u here ?

its because of the power of what i write, you can’t help but be drawn to read though you are so fucked up in the head you react adversely to what i write

what i have learnt with the mentally ill is they can’t change

that is what mental illness is

the potency  that draws you ,  you are in denial of

emma thompson is  a free spirit ,  one of the few who can carry it off

interestingly, emma, hugh laurie, rowan atkinson and stephen fry knew each other  as students

jason  comments

i watched that emma thompson video today, something about being more easy-going clicked while i was watching

its the oddest thing, queen victoria providing a new mythological foundation for the british monarchy by keeping a literary quality diary

reducing the storage temperature from to celsius offers  big benefits  for milk quality

the skull is a very significant source of  bone marrow  derived immune cells

that might have implications for migraine

adam smith’s  “ invisible hand ”  turns out to be a third party offereing  a better deal

increasing the daily fasting time ie later breakfast and earlier dinner time  reduces body fat

when you feed an animal, you establish a relationship between yourself and it

there’s nothing more taxing than women with poor social skills and judgment

i would go further and say  to be unskilled  is depressive in itself

we may have talents dissed by those around us which is not quite the same thing, but to be cognisant of the heavy burden of our own incompetence placed on others by our nonfunctionality is half way there to skill

it can take a very long time and some happenstance before we become reconciled to some things we have to do

what does it actually mean to say there is another person ?

what does it mean to say there is another person ?

we are a grain of insignificance in a world that requires a lot of co-operation to get anything done

all the sums add



when i look at you i can’t know your experience ,  thoughts  conciousness

how far apart and isolated we are

what could be more mistaken than marriage or relationship

two alien worlds come together for what ?





i’m writing so much its making me ill

once i get in the groove i can’t stop

i’m writing so much its making me ill

once you get in the groove you can’t stop

what sewer of cretinism did you creep out of ?

in the whole of zen, christianity, islam, judaism no-one knows what they are on about

gabbering idiots

and here am i

who knows

almost completely ignored

the idiots think the collective means something

all the fucking childless idiots on the net


have the




themselves out



an interesting  synthesis  of indian and western music

if you are ever tempted to think the japanese are sane remember  the yamato   (ed. nsfw)

they are intelligent but there is always an oversized crazy aggressiveness that leads to suicidality

i was brought up on a sheep farm ,  my response  would have been  “ fuck off  “  and i would have chased it away because i know what they are like

if i have a message, its that everything is doomed

 simple huh ?

you can’t deal direct with people as yourself

you need







sometimes i make mistakes

make mistakes


sometimes i make mistakes

make mistakes

the big advantage of dealing with the untalented is they are too incompetent to steal your stuff and usually they can’t even tell what’s good or not

the big disadvantage is the obnoxious belligerence when they encounter anything they perceive as above them which they spare no energy in deriding

 where am i ?

a beach

a pink sky and wrinkled sea

at dusk

 where am i ?

a beach

a pink sky and wrinkled sea


 where am i ?

just nowhere

would the coward who downvoted me rub a little of the yellow off his belly and speak up ?

if you can’t ,  just go away, it bugs me turds like you take my good stuff and so pollute it

would the coward who downvoted me rub a little of the yellow off his belly and speak up ?

i finished off some shelving in the garage, it had been unfinished since before i got here, i went scouting for some wood to do it and found in another shed something that looked useable

when i cut it down i noticed it matched exactly the roughhewn timber already used in the shelf, the previous owner had died more than several decades ago, so i was picking up where he left off at the time of his death

time is suspended here

when i look at  “ homosexual ”  and  this play  by noel coward ,  i realize  “ homosexual ”  is a quite different perspective to  “ hetereosexual ” ,  this play ,  ostensibly about a heterosexual couple is actually full of insight that comes from a homosexual perspective

louis rossman  is interesting ,  lives in brooklyn and i would say is  fairly autistic

i had an interrupted career in electronics and relate

i have sylvia plath’s problem, spread fatally in too many different directions

got my health right though  !

the only thing i am really good at, apart from persistently following something until i eventually get some sort of useful function from it, is the  “ mystical side ” ,  but being of the level that only comes along once every couple of centuries i excite nothing but the contempt and aversion of the crazy manic world

its very easy to criticise, but i think the best criticism jumps over the problems to providing a platform for moving on to the next stage

its very easy to criticise, but i think the best criticism jumps over the problems to providing the basis for moving on to the next stage

politics is always insane, its salvador dali and francisco goya, not claude monet or vincent van gogh

politics is always insane, its salvador dali, not claude monet

“ and these two characters  live outside  the norms of society ”

everyone lives outside the norms of society

politics is absolutely insane, its a process that engenders constant insanity

it can’t be better than the electorate

well, opera singers are on the heavy side because it gives resonance and timbre to their voices, but in fact with modern electronic amplification these days, its not needed and may even be counterproductive

jason is wondering what relationships are like

my  comment

what your experience with brittany  (recently broke up with her unemployed pot smoking now ex-boyfriend)  should tell you is relationships without adequate income are too hard

that’s why men used to marry at 30 and women at eighteen

for women the next step is children

its not rocket science

claire greenwood, for all your  proselytizing  buddhism and zen, you don’t seem happy in that nexus of sleazebag male domination

jason  writes

i’m walking by a pretty female coworker who has nice hair, she’s having trouble reaching something

she asks me, “ hey, are you tall ?  ”  i size her up and she’s only a couple inches shorter than me

i say jokingly, “ do i look tall to you ? ”

she responds “ i know, i just wanted to see how you’d react ! ”

classic shit test and she even admits it

could’ve i answered this in a way that i would’ve  ‘ avoided ’  the shit test ?

my  comment

lol, its what’s beneath  “ the hair ”   !

you have to be careful of the net, the people on it are often very narcissistic and schizophrenic, way out of proportion to any sane world and they will suck you in to their level of hell

bit like drugs actually

you have to be careful of the net, the people on it are often very narcissistic and schizophrenic, way out of proportion to any sane world and they will suck you in to their level of hell

one of my weaknesses is i am always imagining a different past but you can’t touch the past

why  i don’t like RAID, the extra hardware and software complexity makes for problems in itself

cloning and essential file back-ups done manually are the way to go and even doing them you can pick up  problems  more quickly which in this case was the motherboard sata controller or an controller interaction with the kingston ssds which have a problematic history

better to spend more for samsung ssds and not worry

in buying ssds, the onboard ssd controller is just as important as the flash chips for reliability

also the problem with fault tolerance is it disguises underlying problems, nothing like making a clone or back up to show a problem

also remember back-ups need to be proved functional to take them out the  ‘ schrodinger cat phase ’

never rely on only one back-up, recovery, if possible at all  is expensive

a big secret with ssd back-ups and clones is they write much more  “ deeply ”  when warm, never clone to a cold ssd, let it warm up at first

no wonder  linus tech  needs all that heavy duty image processing computer hardware, he’s putting out a video a day !

you can be in bad or unproductive situations, but when you leave with some reflection and knowledge of the problems, you have to a certain extent won

its never leaving or being able to leave that is fatally toxic

what makes the white colour in your toothpaste  ?

not  a mention  in the media  !

i switched to a green coloured gel toothpast  (Oral-B)

i used to read for what i read to tell me what is right, now i read so i have the opportunity to correct it to be right or for it to  “ seed ”  me into something that is right

nonenal  is created when skin’s natural surface oils react with air

as we grow older, the cell processes that prevent oxidation weaken, and more of those oils oxidize in areas like behind the ears and neck

the ensuing greasy odor is what we’ve come to culturally recognize as old-person smell

jason has offered brittany venti  (the streaming personality)  some sensible advice that she needs to hear which she has rejected

my  comment

really when you see a watershed and that is a watershed, you to need to go down the side that’ s best for you and its to cut her out of your life entirely and put your time into things that garner more reward for yourself

“ streaming ”  people have shown themselves not to be worth the time, its educational but at some point the education stops doesn’t it, can you see the returning circles its putting you in ?

to continue contact is clearly a form of depression, she’s telling you plainly she doesn’t value you as a person

there’s something wrong with brittany that she’s ignoring good advice, she may well be a bit mentally ill

its tainting, if you hang around you also become that way

you don’t need her or the streaming any more either as oddly enough your work at the vet places offers plenty of opportunity for the development of social and life skills

i have become a great believer is getting out of situations you are not valued or dissed in

suppose hitler had lived to an old age and got dementia

we would see a person responsible for so much evil, yet he would have no memory of it

did the the evil occur ?

suppose hitler had lived to an old age and got dementia

we would see a person responsible for so much evil, yet he would have no memory of it

“ it ”  is an illusion

some waffly nonsense

by that disease






“ god ”


“ it ”  is an illusion

some waffly nonsense

by that disease




11.36pm, a full moon and the magpies are warbling all over the place

we can’t have each others own experience, we can only have our own experience, not theirs

punishing as each extra year is as we get older, as the eldest, i have the joy of dragging the rest of the sibs through  !

zen/ch’an had pretty well died out in china by the end of the qing dynasty, i feel that  “ ch’an ”  in china today is a recreation from the korean and japanese zen though the colour schemes differ

there’s a trick you can do with women to reduce their power over you

if you look at their face right it will break up into sections and it indicates the character quite well without the usual blindness

women usually have a very brutal set you can see through doing this

sometimes you can do this really good and its quite frightening, like seeing a monster revealed

another trick is to imagine what a child would look like between you, meld your’s and her’s faces together, usually i find i don’t like the result, once or twice i did

its obvious if you like it

the  IT zone

its not necessarily a bad thing to have to fast for an extended period, new research shows it has a rejuvenating effect at the stem cell level, our ancestors used to have to starve all the time

there’s some fascinating archeological work showing even the governors of ancient egyptian provinces used to starve in famines

the world is full of crazies projecting understanding into the wrong spot/space/place, its not my business to sort them out

the world is full of crazies like yourself projecting understanding into the wrong spot/space, its not my business to sort you out

why opinions differ and escalate into divisions is because the different experiences cannot be reconciled

why opinions differ and escalate into divisions is because the different experience cannot be reconciled

all insanity springs from a misprocessing of experience

therefore we are all insane in parts

all insanity springs from a misprocessing of experience

therefore its not surprising insanity is so little remediable

see, where we differ in our opinion, its not just in the opinion we differ ,  but experience

the difference reflects experience and our interpretation of it

see, where we differ in our opinions, its not just in the opinion we differ ,  but experience

the difference reflects experience and our interpretation of it

how incredibly dull famous people are, all clones of conventionality

i think one difference between simone weil and myself is my denial of  “ crafted ”  systems of access or knowing god/infinity in this life

she was a very strange genius and her early death was unfortunate

if something is to be true in part of a context, then it must also be somewhat true in the rest of the context

you can’t convince people of what they don’t want to hear

i’m used to having to fight tooth and nail for everything i say on reddit  !

the human brain has distinct neurological blinders built into it to prevent a true understanding of the nature of reality

solipsism is not a belief, its an observation or process of observing which since its rooted in experience rather than belief or theory has limitations on how meaningful a discussion can be made out of it

what is the relation between  “ your ”  and  “ mind ” ,  which contains which or are they equivalent ?

discussing solipsism with codleov

“ such that my mind is the only thing that exists ”

yeah that’s sorta what i mean

“ the only truth if solipsism is true is that my mind exists and everything else is an illusion created in it ” 

yeah sorta that to

the solipsist space is the personal experience of  “ god ”  so to speak, that’s where the answers are but you are looking to the collective religious space which is beliefs and ceremonies which is just the promulgation of meaningless nonsense

solipsism requires solitude, there’s no two ways about it, without that solitary experience you are wasting your time

“ the pattern of  brain activation  in both transgender adolescent boys and girls more closely resembled that of non-transgender boys and girls of their desired gender ”

my  comment

“ closely resembles ”  is not identical and that is the crux of an unsolvable problem

you have the overt  “ collective ”  faces of religions and then there is the mystical side which is the attempt to construct solipsistic truth in a way that doesn’t get you executed or tortured by the collective face

zen is unusual in that it permits a reasonably pure form of solipsism and straight negation rather than all the tangled hoops the likes of catherine of sienna, john of the cross and teresa of avila had to jump through with the inquisition breathing heavily down their backs

“ i’ve been looking for religious/philosophical truth for a good while now, and a handful of eastern philosophies and religions seem  .  .  to have a lot going for them ”

you are looking for answers in collectives, but the sort of truth you are asking about is solipsistic

when i post on reddit, often someone feels the need to contradict me

i honestly don’t know why people do this, the OP asks for an opinion, i give it, just one among many then someone else comes along to try to argue you out of your viewpoint

he’s trying too hard to persuade you of  ‘ whatever ’

he’s trying too hard to persuade you of something

when some-one gets more than a few facts wrongs, its very off-putting

sometimes things have to go wrong for you to see correctly

i think the trouble with humanities in the universities is second rate intellects with no imagination and who don’t know how to think are elevated into interests quite beyond them with the observed consequences

you lose  quite a bit  when you have a lymphadenectomy

in monsterland, some monsters are much more benign than others

stick with the benign ones

things and people come together

and they pull apart from you

jason  writes

the writing is coming back to me, i’m not sure why

i once wrote about being at a party, this guy starts telling me almost out of the blue as i’m standing in front of him  “ i took an iq test, i tested 125 so i’m considered a genius ”

so i responded,  “ yeah well i’m one of the most genius people in the world ! ”

he said,  “ i’m not sure about in the world   .   . ”

my friend then asked me later,  “ you were joking, right ? ”  so i said i was

after i met brittany i did an interview with her online and she asked  “ why do you think you’re more intelligent than me ?! ”

i didn’t respond because one of her beta-orbiting moderator boyfriends cut in so i wasn’t given a chance to

it reminds me of  this poem  by charles bukowski

homilies by jason

high maintenance

low reward

everyone wants a selfless boss

but they don’t make themselves rich by being selfless

speaking to nerites

i make the worst choices, i’m gonna be honest

i feel like i put myself in bad situation like, just for fun

jason feels he is not being well treated at work

my  comments

they just want you to do the work no-one else will  (ed. working in the kennels of an animal hospital)  which actually you are quite suited for being a young physically strong male, don’t overlook that you are of use there, perhaps more of use there than fine detail work which women are naturally better at

also i don’t feel you are really listening to them, maybe your animal  “ handling skills ”  are not up to par, you seem focused on the   “ political ”  side and getting people to do things for you, but its the nature of a work environment they never will

the problem is you are on the unskilled end of work that only the highly qualified people are paid well for

you can’t beat the system, you should focus on improving computer and car maintenance skills

basically you are in the army as a private rather than an officer and its not a good place to be, long term you need a better future, just be more guarded about what you say to them, its work and the dynamics are different and much more brutal from out of work personal relationships

you are burning all your energy on trying to improve your place in a system that only works against you

among other things jason replies that he should tell them that he’s giving up moving up to assistant, my reply to that is he shouldn’t expose himself, not to say anything, just keep his cards to himself

good computer skills you own yourself and can take with you for better paying work

at the vet place as you get older there’s always some-one younger, fitter and willing to work for less pay

when i look at jainism its apparent humans will believe anything if introduced young enough and cling tenaciously to it for the rest of their lives

when i look at jainism its apparent humans will believe anything provided its introduced young enough and cling tenaciously to it for the rest of their lives

when i look at jainism its absolutely apparent humans will believe anything provided its introduced young enough and cling tenaciously to it for the rest of their lives

when i look at jainism its apparent humans will believe absolutely anything provided its introduced young enough and cling tenaciously to it for the rest of their lives

we completely take for granted our place in the objective world except for the distortions of the insane who disturb us

is the thought that our world is equally a distortion what disturbs us so much about the insane ?

we completely take for granted our place in the objective world except for the insane whose distortions disturb us

is the thought that our world is equally a distortion what disturbs us so much about the insane ?

we completely take for granted our place in the objective world

perhaps you have better things  to do ,  i haven’t

lauterbrunnen to kleine scheidegg

so, the universe  is cyclic  and there are  crossover  points from the previous universe into this one called  “ hawking points ”

apparently photosynthesis uses quantum effects

i see no reason why the brain shouldn’t either

i only clone after i have booted the computer up so there is a minimum of software running and i disable the anti-virus and internet

pays to check you have the latest updates for macrium as well

i also let the comp idle for a while before cloning as flash memory is written to best when warm

also with macrium there's an option to remove partitions on the destination disk before cloning, i always do that

the one thing you must never do is leave the customer /friend /family member /yourself stranded with no back up data if things go wrong, they will kill you, believe me things can go wrong

writing to a warmed up clone is another secret, they will read more reliably in use and hold their data better in storage on the shelf, my cloned ssd has never lost data yet and i have had it on the shelf  (at room tmeprature which here is coldish)  without updating for six months

pam ayres




simple minded

people place no value on understanding, the less they understand the better

simone (ed. weil), you are trying to make sense of what cannot be made sense of and from a perspective that cannot be made sense from

it doesn’t matter what religion, all monks are equally crazy

well jain nuns and monks are crazier than most

it doesn’t matter what religion, all monks are equally crazy

i don’t know why this  poem  of  william butler yeats resonates so much, it has the density of his relationship with maud gonne

worth researching if you don’t know about her

a good  interview  with jennifer lawrence, pity about the alcoholism abetted by those who should know better, but this is the world, chop down a tall poppy through the stem

her problem is not the lack of filter which is actually a strong talent, but alcohol

i really have nothing to say to jason, my parents, my brothers and sisters, nieces, nephews, the landlords, various neighbours, drop-ins or anyone

nothing at all

if you correct one mistake, another mistake will arise

LSD as a  treatment  for alcoholism ?

a son is a son until he gets him a wife

a daughter’s a daughter for the rest of her life

there’s nothing crazier than teaching

be in for yourself or not at all

dillon, you put so much energy into bullshit, that’s why i think you are crazy

i suppose you can’t help yourself ?

if you say there is no history or discount it, then that is a history of sorts

if you say there is no history or discount it, then that is history

if you don’t value competence in yourself, you won’t value it in others

what i find is if i read something and don’t understand it, if i read it the next day i’ll understand it

i wonder if  teleological  thinking is a projection of our own purpose

drug users are always looking for validation of their drug use since the personal, family and social consequences of their use are so negative

its a very strong drive and zen and buddhism suit as vehicles for that validation so you have a strong conscription heft of the public domain meaning of both zen and buddhism and apparently insight meditation

the problem is the meanings of words like zen is changing and  you  perhaps are shoring up both zen and buddhism by a certain authenticity and drug users have hacked your  “ karma ”  account and are making reputation withdrawals to their own use ?

the other problem that makes these  “ religions ”  so vulnerable to conscription of reputation is the very poor quality of  “ teachers ”  and  “ teachings ”  which are so bad as to be almost meaningless

this is another social trend since the internet has obviated the need for the ability of large organisations to publicise and we are seeing the rise of individuals with no or limited ties to any particular religion, the most spectacular examples being jordan peterson and earlier, eckhart tolle

history is a mix that rolls on, the good follows the bad and the bad follows the good

history is just a mix that rolls on, the good follows the bad and the bad follows the good

marxism denies the role of competence in the accumulation of wealth and its proposal that fiat can replace it is as wrong a call as you can get

marxism denies the role of competence in the accumulation of wealth and its proposal that fiat can replace it was as wrong a call as you can get

because men are so important to child rearing in humans, the gender lines are always blurred

my objection to psychedelics is that you cannot change the function of something so fundamentally without causing permanent brain damage

and from a mystical point of view it tells you nothing

read emily dickinson which actually tells you something and promotes brain function, not degrade it

the way i view insanity has changed, everyone has crazy ideas so crazy ideas are themselves not insanity

its where they impinge on your survival and well being, that you become socially dysfunctional to the point you get hurt

anders breivik is insane by that criteria since between the utter inconsistency of his massacre victims being of the race he felt was being displaced by immigration and the very negative consequences to his own life and family, when in fact the political route was open to him to attempt a realistic enactment of his ideas with only positive consequences for his life

nazism was insane because it was premised on the destruction of the most productive portion of its middle class and attempted and failed redistribution of its wealth, so social collapse and its very negative consequences were inevitable

in sleep we listen to dreams

do you dream ?

in sleep we listen to dreams

are you a dream ?

r|zen is the agglutination of the mad, dillon you belong there

r|zen is the agglutination of the mad, do you belong there ?

r|zen is the agglutination of the mad, you belong there

this is where the web is really different, i see kerala is flooding, years ago i used to  ‘ talk ’  with a man from kerala on the hello poetry message board, he was interesting and well mannered

so kerala is not abstract to me, previous to my posting conversations it would have all seemed unknowably remote and outside my experience

he had some lagoon he was very fond of, mystical really

overhanging palms, crystal clear waters, beautiful reflections

most people treat knowledge as an object that can be defined and is more solid than it is so they defend it rather than letting it play as itself

no horror story can match medieval torture and no dystopia can match stalin’s rule

i have spent years on message boards, decades really and it has taken me that long to understand most people are stupid, toxic and malicious curmudgeons who have no idea how to have a conversation or debate to progress an argument into a larger more coherent understanding, rather they seek to suppress any such creation so they sleep undisturbed

i was thinking interstellar travel might be possible, but since civilizations are generated probabilistically, it might be 50 billion years before such a civilization is generated, way beyond the time spans of this sort of universe

some children resent being born and you can’t blame them

“ what is conciousness ”  is a sufficient question since there can be no answer

“ what is conciousness ”  is a sufficient question since there is no answer

life, infinite regress and a caustic mixture of competence and incompetence

i was thinking about computer upgrades and how chernobyl was an extreme example of a hardware upgrade gone wrong

always have essential data backed up so if you get a  “ meltdown ”  you can recover

its sorta like none of the thinkers or writers have anything to convey to me, i got lost years ago and have come back to the beginning or where i always was

an underrated film, for some reason i imagined the final minutes of the film as jodie in a chair with the flames, but its a close up of her with the flames

i watched it years ago and the  final scene  remained a memory, i don’t know why it had such an impact, probably the fourteen year old jodie ?

an untarnished etherality ?

the film  ‘ contact ’

i went somewhere and came back


i went somewhere and came back

valdimir nabakov wrote his autobiography  “ speak memory ” and marcel proust wrote the seven volumes of  “ remembrance of things past ”

what could they have meant ?

valdimir nabakov wrote his autobiography  “ talk to me, goddess of memory ” and marcel proust wrote the seven volumes of  “ the fugue of past beauty ”

what could they have meant ?

“ I have had several high school friends who, twenty years later, can not function in any meaningful way because of one bad acid trip

No job, live with parents, saying crazy shit that nobody really understands ”

what i write here is inimitable

what i have found with computers is the real cost is fixing them when things go wrong, down time and loss of data costs; not the initial hardware cost

i think windows 10 with an ssd is always better with 16 gig ram, its faster and  “ spares ”  wear on the ssd

the roots of zen are in celibacy and childlessness, people with children and in relationship are too attached to life to see clearly

i agree its not black and white, toni packer who did see clearly, had an adopted son and there’s heaps of celibate monks wasting their time, but imo the rule holds, you can see it in  simone weil  versus jordan peterson

peterson while as good as you can get for a family man, falls short of simone

moreover the transmission system in zen filters out the intelligent and keeps the stupid which coupled with  “ married with kids ”  “ teachers ”  has created the toxic cesspool of today’s zen

i am sure childbirth changes a woman’s attitude to life, i don’t think men see that

migraine has changed mine

i am sure childbirth changes a woman’s attitude to life, i don’t think men see that

i think the golden rule with working is getting paid in experience as well as dollars, it can be tricky to navigate

the ghouls love the dead

because they are dead

deleted scenes are as much a part of a movie as those kept in

what i notice is that a lot of people have expectations of doctors having social skills greater than their own

that is really weird

electricity and electronics is so  “ everywhere ”  it pays  “ everyone ”  to have  a grasp  of the basics

brad warner, the trouble is people vary, your warning about an institution over-invested in one person holds in my experience in john loori’s monastery at mt. tremper which is truly stupid-crazy and doesn’t hold for the springwater center and toni packer, though the springwater center was a breakaway from zen she would easily be the greatest zen master of modern times, and on the personal level she was helpful, honest and easy to deal with and perhaps supremely,  ‘ rational ’ ; a quality in short supply these days

so one person makes an insane institution, another person makes a sane institution

western soto zen institutions suck, i can see why you don’t want to be associated with them

“ when going to a doctor with symptoms, should i tell the doctor what i think it is, or do they not like that and prefer only to do the diagnosis themselves ? ”

diagnosis these days is very test dependent, you, with the internet  (providing you put in a lot of legwork)  can become usefully informed and will know what options the doctor is facing so can hopefully somewhat  “ steer ”  the direction of tests etc

a simple example is for heart trouble echocardiograms or mri’s are the gold standard, but often you will just be steered back and forth with ecg’s which are not very diagnostic

you are paying for a service and to get maximal benefit the usual rules about social skills, holding your tongue, speaking at the right time and allowing for your being quite wrong as well as quite right apply

the thing with investments is you can never be certain how they will turn out, sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t

i’m not sure men ever understand love, they may fall in love or love a child but they still don’t understand it

there is a huge sanity in  these women

you can feel it breathe, the spaciousness of the tundra and living there

sean penn offered to play charles bukowski in  “ barfly ”   ,  it was a big mistake by both the director and charles bukowski not to take up his offer, the film never really survived the incumbent

charles bukowski’s thinking was  “ i play myself ”  and its not a big deal, but it was

why people fail so abysmally on the  “ spiritual path ”  is they are adorning rather than abandoning themselves

we spend our lives chasing voynich and the simple truth is ourselves

we spend our lives chasing voynich, yet the simple truth is ourselves

one of the fascinating things about stalin was the way he went after his loyalists

you would think it was safe being a  ‘ yes man ’  ,  but it wasn’t

he was actually diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic by a psychiatrist, guess what happened to the psychiatrist ?

if you have two bad managers and you put them together do get get bad management x two or four ?

that is bad mangement as a counting multiple or squared

if you have three bad managers together  .   .   .

what i find is its literally a process of decades or a lifetime to work very simple things out

there was more than anger in the air, there was sorrow

there was nore than anger in the air

there was sorrow

you cannot make your memories meaningful to anybody else

you cannot make your memories meaningful to anyone else

there’s generations that have grown up with  this

no more stupid than building a cathederal or the pyramids i suppose ?

“ the last one standing wins ”

well that would probably be the pyramids

simone weil was a work in progress who terminated herself too early

why do these people tell me their empty bullshit ?

its less empty because they tell me ?

why do these people tell me their empty bullshit ?

as though telling me somehow makes it less empty ?

why do these people tell me their empty bullshit ?

telling me somehow makes it less empty ?

indeed ?

i think sorting out this shit about  ‘ god ’  is like michael ventris decoding linear B, it looks indecipherable nonsense until you penerate what underlies, a very early form of greek in the case of linear B and a certain human immunity to questioning social learning compared to hypothesis formation cojoined by experiential testing in the case of religion

social learning is a breeding paradigm, experiential testing is solitary mystical

my personal view is there is more of god in a walk somewhere by yourself than anything else

its always interested me that religion is inherently schismatic to the extent there must be some problem at the foundation of whatever ideas are being put forth and i think its due to claims for something being objective existant when it or they are personal constructs and a religion is a temporary agreement for some claimed public unity of these ideas, but the schismic reality is always seething underneath

the whole problem is that people do not ask what they mean by god, they treat it as an objective reality rather than their own construct

the creationist view of god defines god as a biologist

a boring god by boring people

the creationist view of god defines god as a biologist

a boring god made by boring people

its not that man is powerless in the face of god, but that god is powerless in the face of man

man of course is able to form gods as he pleases

its not that man is powerless in the face of god, but that god is powerless in the face of man

man of course is able to form versions of god as he pleases

its not that man is powerless in the face of god, but that god is powerless in the face of man

man of course is able to invent forms of god as he pleases

the condition of god in relation to man is one of complete powerlessness and not only does god look on frustrated but he is constantly conned and gulled by man

likewise man is gulled and conned by god and the nightmare of ineptitude and stupidity that results from such a pointless mismatch is silently applauded by the spirit  “ decoy ”

the condition of god in relation to man is one of complete powerlessness

a good explanation of  the reality  of the story of goliath and david

david called the philistines bluff

what i imagine never happens in reality

what i imagine, never happens in reality

i think the problem with modern media /technology is we just go on and on and never process anything

i use the blackmores vitamin D which has a preservative (sodium sulphite) in

it doesn’t seem to cause any problems and the capsules retain their potency and don’t go rancid

it amazes me that its not standard to have a preservative in because vitamin D is easily degraded

vitamin D needs to be matched with vitamin MK7-K2 imo

basically everyone apart from yourself is pretty boring

the interest of parents in their children is in themselves

i would love to be completely idiosyncratic, making observations no-one else does, some remote genius but i do notice others occasionally or almost often making similar observations and this is the way it has to be or how else would an observation show itself to be valid ?

the problem with recreational drugs is the same as medical drugs, toxic and unintended side effects

both lsd and marijuana have these in my observation

cocaine kills brain cells

who needs trench warfare when a generation kills itself ?

the motifs  and style are strongly indicative of nicholson having painted it imo

enya   silver inches

roma ryan   interview

enya has charisma, roma doesn’t, just an observant intelligence, its not a bad thing not to have charisma, charisma always has an element of insanity

roma’s excursions into her own languages are a mistake, too much into voynich

when i consider the difference between roma’s writing and mine there is a difference, she remains commercial because of the  palatability  of what she says, mine will never be because they way i look at things is unpalatable and my work will no doubt struggle to survive my death

you can deal with the world as endless or infinity as itself when to all intents and purposes, everything stops

surreal, watch  without  music

i don’t suppose i will ever go there


pewdie pie


will break


 why ?

a good  explanation  of  ‘ confirmation bias ’

“ at its core is the need for the brain to receive confirming information that harmonizes with an individual’s existing views and beliefs ”

the human brain is full of blinders that promote breeding success but reduce or annihilate understanding of life and what it is about

the human brain is full of blinders that promote breeding success but reduce understanding of life and what it is about













to be sung







ed.  yes i was sitting down and just sang it

the weirdest thing happened, i had a bad migraine and when i sang that it lifted significantly

amiens cathederal,  bad art , crazy mythology , a pointless waste of space


the condition of all human endeavor

well i will concede its impressive, both the exterior and interior, but its a  florid  work of insanity

operation rheinübung

battle of the denmark strait

hunt  for the bismarck

destructable  demons

basically wolfenstein with gore

where the productive energy of the planet is going ?

this   from   this

there’s a sorta rootlessness in travelling that’s very attractive

the patheticness of second rate talent unable to lift itself out of its slough ?

“ several studies suggest that the same genes that have led to rapid increase in cognitive abilities in humans may have also increased  our susceptibility  to psychiatric disease

this may seem paradoxical, but it clearly applies to other systems in the body

for example, humans are one of the few mammals that have evolved the ability to walk regularly on two legs

this new mode of locomotion frees up our hands for manipulating objects and using tools. however, our recent evolutionary transition to walking upright has also brought with it a high incidence of lower back and knee problems in humans

similarly, rapid expansion of brain size and cognitive abilities in humans has been a key feature of our evolutionary success

but, the very genomic changes that underlie recent brain changes also may increase our susceptibility to some psychiatric diseases ”

the senior government official mr. lu asked the 7th patriarch to give a talk of instruction to the monastic community

his  reply

the community is an illusion

mr. lu was dumbfounded

drug users are a piece of work, they undermine everyone around them

drug users are a piece of work, undermining everyone around them

jason  writes

yesterday was a busy day at the hospital and several women including the assistant manager were standing there lazing about saying how they were tired, so i chimed in  “ yeah i’m tired, today was not a fun day ”

an eighteen year old summer worker goes  “ you’re always tired, every wednesday you say you’re tired ”  i say  “ probably cuz i’m tired ” ,  she says  “ maybe you need to sleep more ”  then the assistant manager says quietly just so the women can hear  “ jerkoff ” ,  i ask  “  what was that ? ”  she says  “ nothing ”

i responded with a blunt answer because i was upset she would make me look bad by saying i’m always tired, when i would talk to her and say i’m tired it was just between the two of us

there is a new vet at the hospital, a newly graduated woman who happens to be half-portuguese  .  .  i searched her name on google and she seems to come from a wealthy background.  she is much more tolerable than that russian doctor i showed you, the russian is so high maintenance and often likes to degrade me in front of the clients that i’m holding the dog wrong and will call me her  “ nurse ”  rather than what my title actually is which is  “ assistant ”

like with human doctors, these veternarians have some self-imposed high importance where they’re better than everyone else

my  reply

well veternarian work is a very autistic scene, the russian needs to upgrade her social skills

jason replies

one of my neighbors was a vet tech, his house was often a mess and he mostly spent his free time playing online video games  .  .  he died at a pretty young age of around late forties i’d say

young women are always a crazy handful, biology gives them so much power

young women are always a crazy handful, they have so much power

jason writes that he often thinks  “ about those guys returning to your house to rob you after you helped them ”

my  reply

a month ago some guys on benzos and alcohol drove down a steep 150 meter motorcycle track in a car into the river and turned up at my place with hypothermia looking for help

they never attempted to burgle me but were professional burglars i would say since they obviously used drugs and the car was unregistered, the sort you cruise around the countryside in with false plates

i was helpful to them and drove them back to where they lived which also gave me their address

the car is still in the river

mary berry has a genuinely interesting and in part tragic  family history

its interesting, there’s poetry and a step below poetry and i think i am learning to write the step below poetry

its interesting, there’s poetry and a step below poetry and i am learning the step below poetry

“ My grandfather and his three brothers  fought in WWII  and they were in the same unit.  they were all pretty young, the oldest wasn’t even eighteen yet  (not regular army but volunteer/freedom fighters from a small village).  one night while on patrol around the mountains they came across a crashed plane so they went inside to see if anyone survived

Everyone was dead but they found a trunk box filled with green money and on one of the pilots a ring with an emerald stone in it.  took the money and the ring but after debating it for a while they burnt all the money because they were afraid to be caught with them and labelled traitors by the partisans

After the war they found out that the green money was US dollars.  The family believes that it must have been an allied plane that was shot down

But the story doesn’t end there.  the second oldest brother kept the ring.  during the end of the 1990s and the war in the Ballkans the family was fleeing the armies again.  His family was caught and as they where lining his sons for execution he bribed the soldiers with that ring and thus saved the lives of his two sons.  Life is weird ”

the way i am with migraine

when i don’t have a migraine

is a holiday

i don’t have to go to the bahamas

the way i am with migraine

when i don’t have a migraine

is a holiday

the world is the way it is because truth implies anti-truth

when people are being deceptive with you, think the worst, its generally true

the whole female world is expert on spending

the whole female world are experts on spending

the whole female world ,  experts on spending

if there’s one thing that’s a million miles of nothing, its supermarket receipts

the human species has been raving for millenia

anybody on drugs, they don’t give a shit for how you have helped them, they just use the benefit to burgle you

all my life i never knew what a circular   hydraulic jump  was ,  yet i would see it ten times a day

blue light on retinal molecules generates toxic compounds  that kill  photoreceptors

“ patients with age-related macular degeneration, diabetic retinopathy, or glaucoma were at 40 to 50%  greater risk  of developing alzheimer’s disease compared to similar people without these eye conditions

cataract diagnosis was not an alzheimer’s disease risk factor ”

one of the failings of the human adult is they become completely rigid after thirty

historically, the trauma of various power struggles is due to this, often a ruler not able to move with the times

one of the failings of the human adult is they become completely rigid after thirty

what jumps out at you from the old zen stories is the vast majority of people in zen are, and always have been, recidivist idiots

one of the traps of the net is dealing with mentally ill people

its obvious in real life but through text the cues can be disguised and given they want to fool you, it can take a long time to work out  !

in terms of solipsism, there’s a world of reading, thinking and experience

people have some of the experience, but they will not think or read

in terms of solipsism, there’s a world of reading, thinking and experience out there

people have some of the experience, but they will not think or read

if a train is wrecking in slow motion, what should you do ?

get off the train

if you can

if a train is wrecking in slow motion, what should you do ?

get off the train

another good charles bukowski  poem ,  i sort of hum and hah’d about linking it, but its good

“ i hung my daughters painting on the wall, its looking at me now, and the girl’s face is done all in red and the mouth is speaking and it says ok, then it says no ”

silversprigs  writes

i’m not really concerned with my past except the lessons they taught me

mostly that  “ i’m a failure and everybody leaves and/or dies so what’s the point ? ”

i have neither come up with an answer for that nor have i been proven otherwise

in fact, life continues to reinforce these opinions over and over again

my  reply

“ you are not a failure nor do you leave and die ”

that’s not positive thinking, but actual mystical reality and you don’t understand it and perhaps given a certain obtuseness, never will ?

silversprigs  replies  not changing her view so i give a further explanation

the  “ mystical ”  point of view is solipsist, not entirely solipsist since oddly, that is false solipsism and a trap many fall into

the characteristic of solipsism is you create the world, how can there be failure ?

dying is a  “ construct ” ,  quite a reasonable one as it happens, but all the same it never occurs since the frame of reference is lost

its like with severe alzheimer’s, the old person they were is gone, from the point of view of the original person, there’s no frame of reference, we can say they’re gone, but from their point of view you can’t say anything, that’s again solipsism

there’s no benefit in  “ good works ”  in solipsism either, its like the world is pointless, yet there is a point to discover

this is what i am saying, emily dickinson and sylvia plath are solipsist and address that dimension, the thinking is so different that its a lifetime process to sort out and needs a lot of solitude, walks by yourself are good

its not the way of the herd, you go that way though you are not of the herd ?

touristy places are interesting in the way they divide into transients and residents, they never really meet

i don’t think men understand the extent to which women are bound by hormones during the childrearing years, when those hormones come off, look out !

what i find interesting about the insane is they are so damn boring, dreary minds trapped in disasterous threadworn loops

what i find interesting about the insane is they are so fucking boring, dreary minds trapped in disasterous threadworn loops

obviously if things are not working out, you are going to have to hear and do some things that run strongly against the grain of  “ you ”

how bad do things have to get for that to happen, if it happens at all ?

what i have learnt with replies on reddit is you are not helping other people, i am really against that

what you should be doing is using whatever you are replying to as a seed to extend your own thinking and develop yourself

if you are missionizing a viewpoint, all you are doing is entraining in yourself and perhaps one day you will see it

its a definition of insanity that the insane never do

jason  writes

i don’t think i told you what happened to my father

when we were in portugal last year he gave a contractor three thousand in euros to start working on the driveway and the guy never started the work

my godfather was saying he didn’t like the guy because he owed my godfather some money, and i was getting a bad feeling from him too

my  comment

so the guy has run off with it ?

let the guy do some work and pay him later is a good rule

paying in advance usually causes problems

on the other hand you should be prompt in payment for satisfactory work done

how can you get money from a very experienced scofflaw ?  any money at all ?

historically rulers have killed their own sons to a surprising extent

you have your own way of looking at things and its going to be better than what anybody else thinks

you can have a highly focused grasp on the complexity of some areas, whether life or work, yet its not enough, or even if it is, other areas creep malevolently up on you

endless the churning waves

throwing the spume of meaning

endless the churning waves, throwing the spume of meaning

everyone is transgender, if you poke and prod a little there’s always streaks of the opposite gender in everyone

the videos of charles bukowski’s poems are usually pretty ghastly and the female in  this one  is unrealistically svelte, but all the same it conveys something and is certainly one of charles’s better poems

‘ silversprigs ’   writes

my  reply

what is the point of emily dickinson’s life ?

sylvia plath’s ?

there is a sum beyond the sun and moon to calculate, what is it ?

‘ silversprigs ’  replied

to write unintelligible poetry destined to be forced upon uncaring high schoolers everywhere ?

didn’t plath kill herself at thirty by sticking her head into an oven ?

she obviously couldn’t find her point either

well, so far we’ve estimated the known universe to be about ninety billion light years

sorry i had to  :o)

i guess i’m not really sure what you’re trying to say ?

my  reply

i don’t feel emily dickinson is unintelligible at all, your understanding has to grow to meet her though

sylvia is interesting, but you really have to look at the whole life, basically she was always biting off more than she could chew

in fact her suicide was due to her being put on an anti-psychotic that had some very toxic side effects, she had been on it before with problems but had forgotten and the doctor who prescribed it was a friend

so this is the  “ sum beyond the sun and moon ”  which you seem unable to calculate or even want to given your hostile and unfriendly response to having a door opened

i related to what you wrote, because i have been through something similar myself, only of the order of twenty years, it never went away, all i ever came to was the conclusion that you can recall but you can’t ever touch the actuality again, so there is a sort of powerlessness in dealing with it, let alone changing anything that happened

in hindsight what i went through was really a strong PTSD event and it can never go away its etched so deeply in the brain, more than a scar, a permanent crippling injury

as i say, you can recall it and understand it better, but the nature of the past is you cannot ever touch it again

edit  :  huh, i thought i was replying to  a different OP ,  its not quite the same, but i feel its still applicable to you

what is the point of emily dickinson’s life ?

sylvia plath’s ?

there is a sum beyond the sun and moon to calculate, what is it ?

“ as deep a question you can possibly ask ”

what is a question ?

it seems facile but its deeper than deep !

you can’t argue with the insane