this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don’t warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems  index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of  the page

audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed  !

in all the random noise of the world, does even a strain of coherence come through ?

even the dirges are crazy messes

we would never hear of carrie fisher except that she wrote several very good and popular books

its the writing that created her as a media personality

surreal, skiing  in moonlight

“ i work at a treatment home for adolescents.  we specialise with asd and high anxiety youth.  most of the kids here are court ordered.  long story short, i am a professional micromanager for the stupidest problems that you can think of.  today’s conflict is over pokemon cards and dnd books ”

bit like a kaw’s  “ kimpsons ”  painting isn’t it ?

aging is not

graceful decline

aging is not



aging is not graceful


the trouble with life is its way too short and things happen way too quick and we really don’t pick up and process what is significant until much much later

“ lycidas ”  is hard to digest, but i think john milton has created another world where lycidas continues to exist

since we read it today, you couldn’t say it hasn’t worked

through the window

 a leafy hedge or shrubs or trees ?

sunlight flickering

 who wants more ?

“ these studies  show clearly that being exposed to light, especially blue light, at night is disruptive and that screen use at night may increase our tendency to snack on sugary foods and disrupt our ability to process that sugar, especially in males

though the rats were tested after only one night of light exposure, over time, this could lead to weight gain and the development of diabetes ”

the rule with eye operations is  “ buyer beware ”

the plus side of  “ spectacles ”  is you can make changes to the prescriptions easily, eye operations always have the potential for going wrong

this  is from the scribe for a group of cataract surgeons

why is it the surgeons never tell any patients this ?

“ the posterior capsule opacity is most likely because you were so young  (ed. female 32)  when you had cataract surgery 

from my experience, the stats say that a posterior capsule opacity becomes visually significant about 30-40% of the time, but, when a patient is under the age of 55 when they have cataract surgery, i’ve never seen it not happen

when we’re younger, we heal quite a bit more aggressively than when we’re older, which is how that opacification happens sooner

that’s the primary cause of your haloes and glare ”

so i’ve flipped r|zen

by not reading it

i don’t have them wasting my time anymore

i have them wasting only their own time

so i’ve flipped r|zen

by not reading it

i don’t have them wasting my time anymore

i have them wasting their time

galleons and carracks

those old sailing ships

sailing across strange seas

they weren’t ghosts

but robust machines

and  yet

the mystery of unexplored lands

lit  them

in  gold

school is loopy

its like everything

that is wrong

with society

all that effort

so many things

all that knowledge and experience

the sum of which



leave them

so much effort

so many things

all that knowledge and experience

the sum of which



leave them

brad warner, i don’t know anywhere in philosophy that says  “ what you call  “ i ”  and what i call  “ i ”  are the very same  “ i ”  ” ,  you are taking the world in the same dimension it exists ,  “ literalness ”  and it doesn’t work

this song  by brittin lane works well, what is interesting is the lyrics need writing on the screen to be effective, that is ,  you need to see them in print so its an interesting blur between a poem and a song

it can come across as  “ spacey ” ,  but its not, the lyrics have depth

a lot of religion and mysticism is inauthentic because very little concern, indeed none is shown for bayesian optimality for its supposed truths

bayesian optimality is a combining of probabilities from different aspects to confirm or give the most probable outcome

a truth needs to be looked at from several different directions and confirmed in all those directions before it can be used as a  “ corner stone ”

lacking this work, like gamblers at a  “ fixed ”  table they bet on the roulette wheel to their detriment and one day, lacking money, they are excluded

what i like about  this work  by jason is i can’t quite understand it, its not something i could do, whereas kaws i could do

a suprisingly heavily downvoted  comment  on a low volume subreddit, i can’t really tell what is happening because i get people who follow me around who have nothing to do with the r|optometry sub downvoting anything of mine they find confronting

its like they are tugging at jesus’s hem ?

i don’t talk to them because i tell them they are spouting bullshit, but they never believe me

i’m not following them around, but they never seem to get that

the problems of fame without being famous, sanity is a magnet for prosaic insanity

jason wonders why  this kaw’s  is worth $3 million ?

wel actually all great art has a cartoonish element, you can see it in hieronymus bosch

its almost like you are paying for themes irrespective of the compelexity of the content

i’m not saying kaws is great art, but modern art is a gravy train with suprisingly few jumping on the bandwagon

i can see value in  kaws  whereas jeff koons is a superb conman for the worthless

basically i think art is for the proles to be shown concepts they would normally gag on

there’s all sort of combinations that taken together don’t or are unlikely to exist

so to get the features you want, you have to forgive the features that are missing


youth is forgiving

age is giving

death is receiving

one of the other cats ripped the kitten’s ear, a nasty red gash, but there’s no complaintant and the offender is unknown and may not even remember

another cat ripped the kitten’s ear, a nasty red gash, but there’s no complaintant and the offender is unknown and may not even remember

milton more than most people doesn’t start to make sense until several catastrophic events happen to him

paradise lost is a correction of the conventional theologies of the time in the light of his personal experience

most people with very justifiable grievances against life since they have been dealt with so unfairly don’t seem to take the next step to try to resolve what it is all about

they have no questions about the hand life has dealt them, but just accept it

since blue signals the circadian rhythm to the brain, when you don’t want blue is an hour or so before bed, but you do want it in the morning

jason’s cat montage

in my view its better than a lot of the stuff that sells for millions

 cat 1
 cat 2
 cat 3
 cat 4

i don’t think being an artist means you have to bullshit, or no more than anything else in life

its funny how preachy those without a disability can be

well, maybe not so funny

i’m over the virus i had, it made me feel very weak for a couple of days, could hardly move

you know its a bad flu season when enough people die in old people’s homes it makes the news

so much for old people’s homes

the beginning  of the end  ?

abstract art being low effort and basically meaningless  is an easy target, but there is a profusion of unknown artists out there on the web who are no worse than a lot of what sells for millions ?

is what happened to music about to happen to art ?

well  that’s  figurative

how should i write a poem ?

why should i write a poem ?

well its to express yourself

how should i write a poem ?

why should i write a poem ?

well its to express myself

the best chance the concorde air france flight 4590 had was to abort takeoff, its so important to keep the speed down before a crash, being in flight is an entirely different game

the only person alive writing poetry i like

is me


be radical

go without makeup

women are hormonal machines

the ratio of actors

to good scripts



100 : 1

how is the world ?

you don’t have to write about it

it is its own  “ how ”

how is the world ?

you don’t have to write about it

it is its own how

i have a migraine

and a virus

i feel terrible

so i am amusing myself

by writing

what i have noticed

with psychotics

is the way they hide

their crazy beliefs

they can seem very rational

and then you suddenly



in la-la land

male beauty

female beauty

they find each other beautiful


 why ?

i don’t fit

into religion

or non-religion

“ spiritual ”


anything organised

or bearing the stamp

of the proles



mind numbing


in my view contact lens are problematic for long term eye health

permeabilty helps but there is still a basic problem with contacts making the eye microbiome  “ skin like ”

goat’s milk  oligosaccharides  are closer to human milk than cow’s milk

writing to nobody


nobody reads

another version








a walk is a friend of solitude

atheists don’t argue that god doesn’t exist, but that god is completely ineffable

that’s very hard to disprove, impossible even

shades of milton, i don’t deliberately make my poems rhyme, just let my brain take care of it, there’s a tight connection between the sound and meanings of a poem that is generated by the unconcious, to conciously rhyme is a different sort of writing and is often done to diguise semantic vacancy

charles dicken’s affair with ellen ternan was the rectification of a mistake, he should have never married his first wife and even had a contempt for his children, but of course he was now much older and the family situation could only be undone to a limited extent

a real life novel of unsatisfactoriness with a smidgen of redemption

existance is a limited form of non-existance

its natural that nonexistance being unlimited should have a limited form

it is reasonable to expect the limited offers glimpses into the fixings of its pivots into the unlmited

there is a special case of those fixings being the unlimited themselves

this is the core mystical truth, but the billions of idiots spend quadzillions of hours building faux pivots

existance is a limited form of non-existance

its natural that nonexistance being unlimited should have a limited form

“ but yes i am confident i’m going to do a good job ”

these things are always trauma

when people prescribe rather than explore, then you know you are in trouble

the trouble with solitary life is you go too long into your own useless spaces, sorta a bad jumanji in that what is lost is gone forever

gripping  viewing ,  byzantine history is constant drama and very interesting, but almost unkown in the west

antibiotics  wipe out  intial flu resistance

“ it takes around two days for immune cells to mount a response, in which time the virus is multiplying in the lung lining

two days after infection, antibiotic-treated mice had five times more virus in their lungs

to face this bigger threat, the immune response is much stronger and more damaging, leading to more severe symptoms and worse outcomes ”

“ our findings show that gut bacteria help to keep non-immune cells elsewhere in the body prepared for attack, they are better protected from flu because antiviral genes are already switched on when the virus arrives 

So when the virus infects a prepared organism, it has almost lost before the battle starts

by contrast, without gut bacteria  (killed by antibiotics), the antiviral genes won’t come on until the immune response kicks in.  this is sometimes too late as the virus has already multiplied many times, so a massive, damaging immune response is inevitable ”

electronic cigarettes  damage  brain stem cells

the problem with death is you can’t really say what it is

magical fantasy  or the dull prosaicness of the materialist view





writing is like an extended dimension of yourself ,  you can see yourself and grow into areas otherwise not possible

lindsay lohan would have to be one of the best examples of the destructiveness of fame

its the negative quality of the people it draws to you, they twist your existance into unrecognisable toxic shapes

mediocre minds survive everything

holocausts, purges, any form of oppression

because they are the tormentors  torturers, informers, secret police, guards

they delight in


the beautiful




we are not here to make people think, but laugh, smile and cry

the aboriginal dreamtime is a fugue state

accessible to anyone

all you have to do is be in touch

with the landscape

but few take it

the aboriginal dreamtime is a fugue state

accessible to everyone

all you have to do is be in touch

with the landscape

but few take it

shooting star from afar

now near to me

in blazing light

grant my wish

this wonderful night

thought i’d update the old rhyme begining  “ star light, star bright ”

comedy is everyone else as incompetent except us

there is a question whether some of the high grain and carbohydrate pet foods are causing dilated cardiomyopathy

this  study  shows good and bad u.s.a. brands for this dilated cardiomyopathy problem

dogs are basically  wolves  with extra copies of a gene for a starch digesting enzyme, that doesn’t make them omnivores like humans by any stretch of the imagination

“ well i don’t think anyone will really listen to me about the carbohydrates being the problem ”

you need to work on expressing yourself in a way that is more cogent and do more research and if people don’t listen, that’s not your problem, you have used the opportunity to converse with them to upgrade your expression and social skills

since that research lists the worst and best brands what is the difference between them in terms of composition ?

the cooking process by itself for some of these carbohydrates will have a big impact

in addition you have the  “ specific carbohydrate ”  effect of say chickpeas and potatoes for instance being more indigestible

and then you have the proportion of the diet that the carbohydrates are

you have a good brain, but there’s a hurdle you need to jump in terms of doing the work to sort things out and skills in dealing with people

its always been a question why howard hughes never took the spruce goose higher in  its maiden flight ,  i think the answer  is here ,  that he felt the tendency of the plane to spiral when the wings were not level and so he sensibly landed again after going no higher than 21 meters

my reply  to this

the skin cracks, but its not the skin is it ?

passions mount and fall away and in this

the world takes its meaning

 what can you do ?

the skin cracks, but its not the skin is it ?

passions mount and decline and in this

the world takes its meaning

 what can you do ?

true creativity comes from a type of  “ informed solitude ”

for john milton this came from an unhappy marriage, imprisonment, the failure of ideas and blindness

better to be uncreative and live shallowly

contact lenses, because they bias the eye microbiome to that of the skin are problematic imo

dryness is analogous to an irritable bowel syndrome symptom

bentinho massaro spews the usual neo advaita  clichés

he uses conflict for publicity, he’s a pretty slick operator, you should be working on picking out the errors in what he says

for instance he says  “ be yourself ”  but actually that’s only half true because we all have unattractive and wrong minded aspects that need modifying

in his case, unreasoning acceptance of total bullshit

we have a bad burglary problem here, if i go out and am back late i have lights on in the house on a timer

the burglars here are on amphetamines so they are very active at odd hours of the night, meth addiction is synonymous with burglary

burglary is a business, if you don’t hinder their escape they won’t be violent

“ i’m actually sort of upset with the portuguese vet, she never accepted my facebook friend request, sort of a bitch ”

in other words you’re the usual entitled millennial arsehole who can’t accept people may not want contact with you ?

“ well i felt like i didn’t do anything wrong to her, i thought we were friendly  (ed. at work) ,  i guess i thought wrong ”

she doesn’t owe you anything, you really need to think a bit here

dogs need meat in the diet, they can’t be fed  exclusively  dry food, i saw a youtube of a dog  “ whisperer ”  (a woman)  say poor diet was the major cause of behavior problems

chickpeas, lentils and potatoes, being comparatively undigestible would be problematic, dogs need a specfic carbohydrate diet emphasis ?

people themselves have a poor diet so i guess its going to translate through to pets

goethe doesn’t stand out in real life, but he can take the tableaux of meaning and scuplt and shape it into the most amazing shapes

john milton’s writing is so glaringly visual its obvious he is autistic

a good  documentary

its not a literal universe he describes, but allegorical

the cause of his blindness was likely retinal detachment

why is it that genesis needs to be anything except babylonian legend revisited by the jews ?

the problem with hunting whales and dolphins is, if you argue that humans have an intrinsic right not to be murdered, then you have to extend that to whales, dolphins and elephants actually

quite a  good question

“ will i regret not doing this ”

i was surprised how many things have a yes or no answer

interestingly  “ will i regret doing this ”  can have a different answer to the first form of the question

in life and on the web

fuck the time wasting druggies

the extra miles you have to go just to avoid trouble with them

i was fascinated by orson wells knowing so many  great men

he even sat next to hitler at a dinner

“ i have a question.  how will i know i’m enlightened ? ”

if you have to ask, then you are not, it simply means a having a certain type of understanding that is so rare its almost nonexistent, statistically improbable

i have seen so many of these druggies use  “ zen ”  as wallpaper to cover the stupidity and emptiness of what they do, i wouldn’t have replied to the  obnoxious twit

a little self-insight which he was clearly lacking would lead him to ask why he emailed in the first place ?

reading reddit zen gives more insight than you ever want with these people, lunatics chasing self-esteem in the vacuity of entitled stupidity

i have a feeling donald trump  stepping across  the DMZ into north korea is way more significant than appears, i’m not quite sure why

karl friston  explains  schizophrenia as substantial predictive failure building false beliefs

the trouble with  “ normality ”  is that it doesn’t understand  ‘ predictive success ’  as also a failure

working under red light during normal sleeping hours fools the brain into thinking its still dark and keeping the circadian rhythm, disrupted sleep is destructive

you are young and haven’t been be burnt enough, unlikely as that seems

i am not suicidal, but my brain is a crashing mess

always has been

a genuine  religious experience

gold in the world of tin look-alikes

the good liar

the author of the book, nicholas searle wrote it as  his first novel  in his late fifties, there’s hope for the rest of us

i scanned the net looking for the full plot but everyone is extending the courtesy to him and the film of not publishing any spoilers

everybody has streaks of mental illness

everybody has streaks of deformity

its basic to experiment in a small way and see what happens, you seem to have too much confidence in an entirely projective or theoretical understanding of the world without actually doing anything, like you are trapped behind a glass wall

i think this is because things so often in younger days have turned out disasterously for you, but the secret is just to start investigating in a small way

your changing those brake pads yourself is such a big step in the right direction because that is doing something for yourself in the real world

i think this has been a big problem with your job interviews, you clearly have a very insufficient appreciation of the difficulty and skill level required to get anything done that works in the real world and you are certainly very reluctant to engage that difficulty or develop the necessary skill level

i think also in large part this sort of attitudinal problem is due to the torrid mess called education today

“ i don’t want to waste my time learning something that will be useless, at school i had to learn useless things, i hated it ”

you are no longer in school and can call your own shots

try tapping on the glass wall occasionally to see if you don’t have a problem

i think  the problem  is your inability to change what is a very bad habit, you don’t actually  want to

you will start the behaviour and then perceive you are doing it, at that point you have to discard it

basically you have to interrupt the behaviour when part way through it

i think the same holds for alcoholism and drug addiction, a  “ wiring ”  pattern in the brain has to be disrupted and this can only be done at the behavioral level

interestingly this is the focus of  dielectical behavior therapy, the induction of new behaviors

everyone has streaks of mental illness and i would include addiction in that and are constantly dealing with them on the behavioural level

implicit mental illness becomes overt when it cannot be successfully dealt with in this way and the problems flow over into social interaction

those people who write rubbish cannot explain it

my poems i can explain

except for a very few

i know they are explainable

one day

there’s something really wrong with you

you won’t talk sense

you want the contact with me

yet can’t say anything sensible

i don’t mind talking to you, but you must talk sense

but you ignore my advice


















arguing with a bunch of crazies

will make you

crazy yourself

arguing with a bunch of crazies






lover of flowers







the earth opened up

and seeing the vanity of things

she jumped in


lover of flowers







the earth opened up

and seeing the vanity of things

jumped in


the rotter

spring autumn summer winter

she swings the world

then flees

the swing goes back and forth


you can ask whether god exists or not, but implicit in the phrasing of the question is the subordination of god to existance

the question is not meaningful and the literal tons of ink expended on this sort of nonsense says so much about the world

a naive 19 year old woman is complaining of  hearing voices   but not affected adversely by them wants to see  “ a doctor ”

she writes

so for the past year i’ve had voices talk to me, they didn’t appear suddenly or were a result of anything traumatic, they developed over time

i have an overactive imagination and they’re the result of me writing about them and interacting with them in imaginary worlds, overtime they just started talking on their own

they don’t harm me and in fact made me very social and physically active because they love talking to people

i only have two

my  reply

you are likely to be put on anti-psychotics, i would suggest you research the side effects

be warned, the mental health universe is not benign

the sickening self-smirking hubricity of r|zen

at the same time as the suicidal desperation for self-esteem boosting

the sick and deformed suckling on the toxic space of mistranslation misrecording and fantasy

entrancing ,  don’t know how the boyancy is managed, a slight hidden weight ?

the degree of attention required for effective therapy is huge, because you are changing the frame of the model

the degree of attention required for therapy is huge, because you are changing the frame of the model

“ its a bastard enviroment, both beautiful  and dangerous ”

women, the dream of men

men, the dream of women

children the dream of men and women

women, the dream of men

men, the dream of women

children the dream of women and men

men, the dream of women

women, the dream of men

children the dream of women and men

men, the dream of women

women, the dream of men

children the dream of men and women

jason  writes

leaving the doctor’s office across the street from the main hospital i round the corner to the elevator, there’s a women in her late forties, overweight, using a walker, respirator on the ground with the prongs going to her nose

i stood there for a second and realized its better just to take the stairs

probably avoided catching something right there

the basic failure of the german high command in russia was that the losses were  always too high ,  in a war of attrition the russians would inevitably outlast the germans, which of course they did

‘ relationships ’  are an exploration of the boundary conditions of ourselves

trauma is part of the recipe

high gain

high loss

‘ relationships ’  are an exploration of the boundary conditions of ourselves

trauma is part of the recipe

maud lewis is painting an intensified and truer version of her visual reality

general anesthetics are not healthy, you are better to do without them if you can

items of interest in the psychiatric field

the  “ free energy principle ”  which is not  “ new age ”  but a leading neurological theory of the brain and perception is very interesting, karl friston and andy clark are its leading lights, they have good material on  you tube

dielectical behavior therapy has been around for a while now, i think it helps the therapist survive  which actually is quite difficult when dealing with the mentally ill, a way of not getting too personally entangled in people and their problems 

it was  developed  by marsha m. linehan

there is an increasing emphasis on dietary factors and mental illness like schizophrenia and vitamin D deficiency

claire greenwood  has written a cook book

my  comment

i feel the palette of foods used is too limited and not western enough for any real life utility

however the life behind  the book  is brilliant  “ absurdist art” ,  nuns wasting their lives with cultural formality thinking it means something, food close to malnutrition, psychosis pretending to sanity, greenwood has a sure talent in this area

i don’t know what irony or sarcasm is, i keep looking it up but i still don’t know

if anything a woman writes bears some semblance to reality

be grateful

ernest hemingway on  lillian ross’s  rather disparaging interview/profile of him

brad, that’s a  nice quiet garden ,  why not enjoy it rather than set the world to rights ?

how hard is this stuff ?

question for an apologist

do you feel your postion as an apologist is fundamentally flawed or not ?

jason  writes

i just wrote about this on my blog, but i want to find a guru i can go on a retreat with that’s successful

i like brad warner, but he’s not exactly successful, but i would consider going on one of his european retreats if i was planning on being in portugal already

otherwise i don’t know who

my  reply

that  “ good friend of mine ”  post you wrote is very good  (see below) ,  way ahead of any guru and brad warner

you are  “ the only guru ”

you deal with  “ the professionals ”  ie a bunch of stupid hubric arseholes, they are just going to put you wrong

basically things are going ok for you, its the work of a lifetime


good friend of mine  was over the other day and she was telling me how she had some sort of experience where things  “ opened up ”  to her, and how she spent the rest of the summer trying to stay in that state and  “ not think ”

well i explained my point of view that thinking is actually important, to work through things

and when you’ve spent a good amount of time in meditation thinking things through, you’re awarded the ability to appreciate quiet moments

we also spoke about relationships, she agrees that having a girlfriend is expensive

some years ago i experimented with irridating mushroons with a broad band UVB lamp which inducted huge amounts of vitamin D2 into them

jason  asks

so that study said they used oyster mushrooms to irradiate for vitamin  D3

you’ve said to use shiitake mushrooms, do you think white button mushrooms work too ?

also how long do you keep them in the sun if let’s say the UV reader was saying 50iu per min ?

my reply

you can’t irridate mushroons to get D3, its D2 it makes

it works for button or any mushroom

maybe a couple of hours for 50iu a minute, basically the midday sun

you can tell over the next couple of hours when you have eaten a large amount of vit D mushrooms, it makes you sleepy despite the mushrooms being enervating in the next day or so

the ergosterol is in the fleshy part of the mushroom, not the gills so sliced will get more exposure to the sun

endless the madness of women

and men

endless the madness of women

don’t underestimate them, there is a lot of power and strength in the emotionality of a teenage girl

don’t underestimate them, there is a lot of power and strength in the emotionality of teenage girls

 the tempest is difficult to get, it is life as psychosis with temporary respite that fades as quickly as it comes

one hits it again and again, what very ordinary minds actors and actresses have

every now and then i get a vibe about someone i have come across on the web and dox them a bit

tara dakides, a famous  snowboarder  is one such and its  a bit depressing

years ago, staying at the chateau tongoriro for our winter skiing holidays, my parents were talking to jean claude killy who was at the peak of his fame and he told them he had a friend who was a better skier than him, but he didn’t continue with it and became a truck driver

jason is keeping up with the times

i went to a restaurant last week in nyc and there were two bathrooms with weird images on both the doors, i ask this waitress which one is men’s and she tells me they’re genderfluid bathrooms

this is the first time i’ve seen this, the waitress looked like quite a feminist too, short colored hair, overweight  .  .  .  she was the manager it seemed like

people at a distance from a job or problem are often much better able to take an overall view and offer good advice, but usually its rarely listened to

“ you are being unfriendly ”

does a friend tell us what we want to hear or what we need to hear

bit of mix actually

if we have an incorrect understanding it prevents a correct understanding

the incorrect understanding first has to be dismantled before a correct understanding can be built

maybe  “ before ”  is not quite the right way of putting it ,  developing a more correct understanding will naturally dismantle the incorrect understanding

a prophet is without honour in his own country for his own safety

i don't think there’s any measuring stick against which you can say what a life could or should have been

“ all’s well that ends well ”

well that’s the only basis for saying anything is well

“ all’s well that ends well ” 

well that’s really the only basis for saying anything is well

the answer to the question ,  “ is there a final cause of things ”  is surprising ,  not the least because it is so unexpected

in terms of backing up my computer, what i find works well is keeping a macrium clone on a similar or preferably identical ssd OS disk rather than making an image, its a similar cost, much more convenient in terms of  “ plug in and replace ”  and by swapping the disks over when the write difference gets too high, you are also effectively  “ wear levelling ”  across the two disks aka getting the full mileage out of them

the secret of cloning or any form of writing to flash memory is the chips must be warm as the write noise margin is much better, a cloned (8 terabyte host writes) samsung ssd i stored recently did eighteen months without any errors

of course the higher the writes the shorter the period the ssd will hold up without errors in storage, but only cloning on a warm ssd does improve the length of this period considerably imo

storage should be in as cool and dry as spot as is reasonably convenient

young people these days seem to take pride in communicating in a confusing manner

they don’t know how to navigate a hostile world  (who does ?)  and resort to a barbaric defense

kazakhstan is flat

nepal is hilly

russia is flat and hilly

please,  i am busy and don’t have the time to reply to people who can’t rub two words together to make sense

on the other hand if you have something interesting to say, i would like to hear from you

its the masturbating deadheads seeking unconcious validation by dialoging with me i can do without

Peter Pan is clearly fantasy but j.m. barrie is trying to blur the line much more in similitude of reality with  mary rose

if you want to get away on a retreat fine, but it is enough to be by yourself to   “ retreat ” 

the problem with retreats given by religious groups is they are very experienced in using the plasticity induced by the retreat to imprint their doctrine and believe me, it can take decades to counter this effect if ever, the best protection is to read widely before going in

any book or story is a synthetic space

the question is

does it distort or does it clarify ?

the snow

a giant bra

cupping the mountain

the snow

a giant bra

on the mountain

charles bukowski is assumed to be chauvanist and a member of the patriarchy but he wasn’t at all

what he was, was an incompetent alcoholic of literary genius and if not for modern medical science might not have lived into his transition of writing poetry

if not for the alcohol he would be up there with sir henry neville, maybe its crazy to compare the two, they are so different

its not necessary to speak everything we think

i have a backlog of quite a few homilies from 2012, they have a different tone, younger, more sure of myself, but a bit thin compared to now

i never thought i would have the problem of being so prolific that this stuff is constantly coming out of my ears but i can’t get over how much i have changed over seven years, just as well

anyway i will put what’s ok below

ramana, mad or not so mad ?

schizophrenic or not ?

he is a puzzle to me, autistic and a phase changer, maybe its a challenge to be at all coherent amidst the hindu and disciple craziness ?

the average human is incorrigible at thirty, so what are they going to be like at sixty ?

karl renze’s talks drive me around the benz, empty rubbish

zazen or seated meditation is a cage of sorts but restraint can have its place for limited periods

it would be proof of my being sane that you thought me mad

famous last words, i am so surprised to find myself in this situation, dying


zen and meditators do everything the hard way, they want to construct an understanding of infinity from square one, it can’t be done

why don’t they do something really psychedelic like reading the poetess emily dickenson ?

no way those stupid farts



one makes plenty of mistakes in life, the bad ones are where you lose something and can’t recover from

its funny how being in love is different from liking, love is not just shades of grey, but different categories

karen richards, i hope you become more than an advaita cliché machine and not just depressed and disillusioned at the end

ed.  writing seven years later, her health has not recovered, nurses seem to be disproportionately affected by chronic fatigue conditions

even if you can't sleep, three quarters of an hour, lying down, in the dark, during the day can make it bearable

i do everything backwards, for instance when i give blood, its not to save others, but myself

james d. tabour, schizophrenic, the same as ufo type schizophrenic except christian

the future can only be guessed at, there’s so much unforseen that can happen

one of the oddest things about life and i really find it very very odd is the way somethings hang suspended in time and we age and yet things suspended in time don’t


casanova said, to deceive a fool is nature’s revenge of intelligence

the only thing is, i am the fool

good criticism is like good translation, an impossible art

at its best it is useful and at its worst it is a waste of time

is it thinking, or is it drinking ?

you can go one way and say that lack of involvement is a problem and you can go the other way and say that too much invovlement is a problem


you won’t understand or discover that the world is in error without entering into it

no matter how much the circumstances require a more rational approach, most women unfortunately will still act like women

women are beautiful, but the mountains are more beautiful

catch one and the other will elude you

women are beautiful, but the mountains are more beautiful

“ you are seriously disturbed ”

you don’t find the notion we are phantoms pursuing will o’ the wisps disturbing ?

franco zeffirelli knew  how to cast  exceptionally good looking actors and actresses

“ a rose will bloom, it then will fade, so dies the youth, so dies the fairest maid ” 

probably sir henry neville’s best song and certainly well done in this production

men are tamborines for women to play on

quality varies

khatia buniatishvili and the orchestre un violon sur le sable play  piano concerto no.2  by rachmaninov

sergei rachmaninov  -  piano concerto no. 3 in D minor, op. 30 / franz liszt  -  liebestraum  love dream  no. 3

as we start to go to sleep the brain descends into chaos


i can see things on the second pass through something that escaped me on the first

its amazing what lies in the background and what a little doxing unearths

its amazing what lies in the background and what a little digging unearths

“ there is a path through the world where you can succeed on your own terms ”

there is no path through the world where you can succeed on your own terms

not saying one or the other, probably neither or a bit of both

i think with films, scriptwriters provide most of the intelligence, there’s not a lot floating around elsewhere and these days even the scripts are retarded

some actors and actresses need scripts because in real life they are so incoherent

how does the world work versus how we think it should work ?

how does the world work ? versus how we think it should work

how does the world work versus how we think it should work

“ should ”  is just an idea we have about the world and often not correct

“ should ”  is just an idea we have about the world and usually not correct

i would say  this gun  fits rené secrétan accidently shooting vincent and dropping the gun or throwing it away nearby

the size seems right as well to fit in a pocket

the weirdness of the premature loss of genius and all that work

i really love web publishing, you don’t have to choose between different words

i just write about the sights seen from a different road

i just write about the sights seen on a different road

what makes books and movies unreal yet enables the plot is co-incidence

a world of surreal energy where things match better than they could

what makes books and movies unreal yet enables the plot is co-incidence

a surreal world of energy where things match better than they could

louis rossmann is only doing tim cook a favour, but the way these things are he won’t even look at  the video , too busy skiing or something

to give steve jobs credit, he would have noticed

i don’t think we can change direction, but paring stuff away does that

the mountains are still

why ?

its not necessarily





the mountains are still

why ?

women peak for about three years







they become




for transience

most things are irretrievable




bow - tie

there’s not much poetry by jenny joseph on the web which is a pity, here is one i dug up with the melancholy title of  “ death in winter ” ,  i know from reading her she hated the cold, you should have stayed in south africa jenny

it was in the great frost of that year that she died.

day after day all water was solid, the town

came to a tottering standstill. everything late

arrived frozen and black.  most things

did not arrive.  no fire warmed.

long before, nearly all life had fallen

into a dead slow beat, shuffling survival,

so that her sinking was not so out of place.

only, terrible to be so cold

before the eyes close, and know eternity

will be without movement, paralysed in iron;

and to see on living faces that they too are stone.

for those standing near her grave as the sun came out

touching the earth, timidly trying to blunt

the first slow icicle, terrible for them

to know that life would return but she had not known that,

and have their own hearts stirring, now too late.

like something out of anime or science fiction

“ I went to collect my girlfriend from the St. Pancras train station in London and when she came up to me, she said that a man had just walked past her and  poked her tummy  with a sharp implement (she initially thought it was a syringe).  She turned around and he gave her a seemingly malicious smirk and carried onward.  I had a look at the region and there was no blood in the area  (just a small purple dot)  so I wasn’t particularly concerned

On the tube home, she noted that there was a bit of periodic internal throbbing from her tummy area and a  rash-like mark  developed in the area ”

language is a type of thinking, a type of conciousness

françoise gilot on  her life  in paris during world war 2

i was a bit anti picasso, but reading her gave me a new and more sympathetic perspective

the insane fires of nationalism don’t die easily

an animation  fantasizing  japanese success with their rocket powered fighter ,  the shūsui

in reality the german model was not very effective travelling so fast as to overshoot targets

the multilingual shakira, a proficiency that will be  hurting her

one generation blindly creates the next

and so on

only one man in the whole of england and its history could have written the tempest, sir henry neville

it is totally outstanding and presages science fiction, gothic and faust

this version  works well (at least at the beginning)  with helen mirren as prospero

i would be cautious about things that are too big a jump

small steps can be taken without falling

jason got bitten by a tick in a park with deer in it in long island, new york

he  writes

i pulled a tick out of the back of my thigh and didn’t rip the head off, i put on 90% isopropyl alcohol and then some iodine

ed.  i recommend applying 35% hydrogen peroxide after applying the alcohol and it has evaporated

it probably wasn’t on there for more than a couple hours if that long, i’ll just watch where i was bit

where i was bit it didn’t hurt, the tick was  not inflated with blood ,  hardly at all, its snout was in my skin but i got it all out i believe, it might’ve been missing a front leg from pulling it out

my  comment

the park is actually not a very safe place

i wandered a lot in the countryside at sringwater near lake hemlock in upstate new york and never saw a tick the whole time and only heard of several instances of someone finding one on themselves or another

of course they shoot deer up there, but i guess with global warming ticks will become more of a hazard

one of the big problems with editing yourself is that you will probably reject writing that is ok or even good because that close its hard to tell what’s what, though one gets better at it

by self-publishing on the net you can include almost everything without extra cost which overcomes that problem and is a major step towards successful self-editing

always write for yourself and an audience of one or two is enough or even ideal

no audience at all is schizophrenic/psychotic and a large audience is too much maintenance

i am not what i see

i am what i see

chess is not that great a game

it suffers from being too determined by its opening moves

to a knowledgeable player, the game is almost rote

you don’t talk to me ,  you talk at me like i’m some mirror to reflect yourself

well i do that and you don’t like what you see, so you filter it

talk about  “ choosing beggar ”

i’ve got caught in a web of distortion

i can’t walk out, thats why its  ‘ a web ’

or can i ?

i have always been caught

you don’t do any contemplative work

 why do you expect to be able to converse ?

stop bothering me and piss off

i need to change

i can’t change







there’s  this  and  this

tara dakides  interview

you prefer psychosis

 what have you to do with me ?

years ago, on our last day skiing i went up past the highest poma to walk up to a peak with my skis over my shoulder, a difficult climb, to where no-one ever went and skied back down

what was with that ?

where is death, where is beauty ?

look all around you

let the mountains breathe

my guess is there is an updraught to the side of and in front of the microlight making it  attractive  to the flying birds

“ there have been many cases of the use of Ortho K giving  complications  from aggressive infections of bacterial or fungal origin ”

any contact lens converts the eye’s microbiome from its own to one that looks like the composition of the skin

circular time

the figures go around and around

until the clock breaks

the only way you accept the sort of cultural bullshit like full on tibetan buddhism is to be brought up with it as a child

people who convert into it are psychotic

maybe telling yourself vacuous stories is psychotic ?

you are telling a story about yourself, what is the reality ?

you don’t listen

you don’t seek the interior logic

if you search for the interior logic and find it then you are able to write profusely and interestingly about it

insanity is not operating in the world like you are part of it

reality has an infinite number of rooms you can live in, from what point of view would you say one was better than another ?

being outside the rooms

you use ellipsis to conceal vacuity of content

you must operate in some strange space of alienation from the world and refusing to see what it thinks of you because that technique doesn’t fool anyone

i found tibetan centers more livable and friendly than zen

this not a popular view, but the  neural cost  of bilingualism is too high and there is no point to trying to retain dying languages

the original speakers of the dying language were monolingual not bilingual

remarkable  landscape ,  rail biking in panagonia

the rail tracks and bridges were still functional because of it being so dry i guess

why translators and translations are necessarily deficient is they are akin to pyschotics, the semantic identity is not their own and neither are the sounds

a meister eckhart quote

“ the eye through which i see god is the same eye through which god sees me ”

my  comment

god is eyeless and has eyes

you can call it

you can call it meditation

you can call it introspection

you can all it reflection

you can call it self-reflection

the point is

if you don’t

do it

you are not doing the real

“ spiritual ”


a man sits on a rubble heap

this is the wall i am building he says

its a rubble heap i reply

he really doesn’t hear me

i leave

a man sits on a rubble heap

this is the wall i am building he says

its a rubble heap i say

he really doesn’t hear me

i leave

proof  r|zen is psychotic

i have never seen such low semantic density

their very words are vapourware

usually anything religious is that usual low density and lots of sounds and chanting as well too

hare krishna would have to be an extreme example

“ the results revealed that  conversion to psychosis  is signalled by low semantic density and talk about voices and sounds

when combined, these two variables were able to predict the conversion with 93% accuracy in the training and 90% accuracy in the holdout datasets ”

sane    insane

i don't know what they think  they are doing ,  where are isis when you need them ?

it doesn’t pay to say everything that’s on your mind

by a long way

flattery only works if its not perceived

o. j. simpson’s traumatic encephalopathy explains his later life behavior

socially sanctioned brain damage never gets a mention

murders consequent on some psychiatric medications also seem beyond the ken of  “ normality ”

“ kacent has been on her period this past week, she’s just getting out of it ”

imagine living with that for 30+ years

would you rather be a woman than man ?

men don’t have to have children, the female evolutionary design regards children as a necessity

i don’t even fit autism

i am only myself in some way

social  anti-social

i was thinking, its not just modern art that has lost its sense of aesthetics, but its right through the liberal arts, from philosophy to writing, an intellectual downsizing and glorification of rubbish that inane minds can’t tell different from greatness

composers rarely play their own works well and recitalists seem to do much better on some works than others

i think this piece suits yuja wang’s style

the brillant cadenza  by tchaïkovsky

the bitterness of the time spent sorting something out, days, decades, a lifetime is the lack of a shortcut to get to where you would rather have been in the first place

one of the problems of having a religion is if god is too  ‘ ineffable  ’ ,  there’s not much point to having the religion

since god is ineffable then religions naturally place themselves outside of any rational discourse on the subject


sometimes you have to throw everything away






the ashes

life is capricious and there’s nothing we can do about it

blinking spreads the tear film, we don’t blink enough when looking at computer screens

she has to understand she will need to take krill oil daily for the rest of her life and its a superimportant aspect of her life and she wants to to give attention to what really helps her and not the usual  “ normative ”  crap life throws at us

i’ve really gone off random people on the web, there’s no common interest, they only want to missionize whatever insanity and attack

who needs it ?

i’d rather deal with people with a common interest, not those with insane castles in the air that need constant intellectual buffoonery to keep inflated

is the point  of the book  some   “ meta ”  about balance or is it the presentation of viable recipes ?

would a demonstration video be more  the point or is that not to the point ?

claire greenwood would have to be a living example of the story  “ seijo and her soul ” ,  she left her soul in japan and her half dead corpse is floating around los angeles

the real russia ,  love the wooden houses

there are no eyes behind, and no eyes to the fore


there are eyes behind and eyes to the fore

eyeless i write

the above is my reply to a translation of eihei dogen’s  mujou seppou  (if infinity could talk)

if you want to know what r|zen is, look at two of the banned words



 speaks volumes doesn’t it ?

they all look like idiots, but the moderation has a perverse genius, fooled me for a long time

two doctors  up themselves

an alternative title

“ the british middle class in action ”

nothing like a problem to motivate you to do something

interestingly one of the functions of dreams is to keep the head warm during sleep from the extra activity, if you don’t dream much then you may need to keep your head warmer with a balaclava or some such

“ my new glasses immediately cause blurred vision, etc.

so, how do I get the correct prescription ? ”

it really pays to learn about sphere, cylinder and axis so you can ask for variations in the prescription while on the  phoropter

also look at getting a wavefront refraction done, it gives a good base to go on

sometimes i will write to an author of newly published  research  to update them on something i think they have missed, but i don’t usually get a reply from these very fragile egos

however  dr. dan knights  did unusually

my  email

I don’t know whether you familiar with the  specific carbohydrate diet  but its been around for 95 years and seeks to reduce microbial toxins and induced inflammation by eliminating slowly digesting carbohydrates which favour malign microbiome

the basic theory is to  “ control ”  the microbiome by reducing the energy available to it which is effected by limiting the diet to  specific carbohydrates that are quickly absorbed and eliminating slowly digesting carbohydrates like say potatoes that are much more available to feed microbiome

his  reply

interesting. will keep this in mind


if article or study is very good but you don’t understand it, you just want to read it occasionally and it will fall into place and keep telling you certain things

hmm, dysphoria is an antonym to euphoria

don’t be too interested in gossip about yourself or you will hear what you don’t want to hear and doesn’t do you any good to know anyway

trees in the moonlight along the skyline

memories come flooding back

 a distant time, a distant country

jane austen was childless

there is an energy in her writing that is living breathing

jane austen was childless

there is an energy in her books that is living breathing

the german invasion of russia was always  doomed  because of very inadequate logistical support, shortages of fuel and rubber being key

in fact the early surrenders of poland and france hid their logistical problems in those invasions and there is the possibility of both those countries having successfully resisted germany if they had not caved in so quickly

the germanic tribes have a reputation going right back to roman times of strategic incompetence

“ this approach  is based on the theory that slow eating and excessive physical exertion, both hallmarks of anorexia, are evolutionarily conserved responses to short food supply that can be triggered by dieting  —  and reversed by practicing normal eating ”

“ we find that chemical signaling in the starved brain supports the search for food, rather than eating itself ”

from an eye health point of view there’s nothing beats the natural lens, as you may have already noticed with eye operations, its  “ buyer beware ”  so you want to be really comfortable with what you are doing

the technology improves every year

tinted or untinted intraocular lenses ?

there’s a lot of very good research on the web, it takes time to go through, but is well worth developing an understanding, people are way too casual about surgery on the eye

steroids give rise to a particular type of cataract called  “ posterior subcapsular ”

i favour tinted, you really need to research to discover the pros and cons

different surgeons give you different opinions, you need to read and ask around

you need to know in detail what each type of lens does, what distances it does best and worst and the degree of dysphotopsia problems

everything is correction, you need to correct yourself and even if others are right, they still need correction

in fact it seems possible to keep schrödinger’s cat alive, is that mysticism or not ?


in fact it seems possible to keep schrödinger’s cat alive, is that mysticism or not ?

if you stop fighting on the web, the whole thing just sinks back into boredom

that’s what it aways was, dull people pontificating

a couple

young children

my name is need

a young couple


my name is need

a couple


my name is need

i really like this,   lucy explains  the subtext of verbal social interchanges

behind the performance, you need to see





this notion that a text stands independent of the author, that it doesn’t matter whether shakespeare or sir henry neville wrote those plays or jane austen or george eliot their novels or presumably sylvia plath or emily dickinson their respective poetry

their lives are imprinted on every page

on r|zen they are all fighting mirror images of themselves

there’s nothing exists except their opinions and their reversed images

on r|zen they are all fighting mirror images of themselves

there’s nothing exists except their opinions and their reversed image

the past is not what it  seems

i beg to differ, the past is exactly what it seems and patterns are deeper than events

if you are schizophrenic, you will end up fighting your mirror image a lot of the time

brad warner was in prague near the  astronomical clock  but never saw it, me, i can see it on the web, probably better than i could in real life

the carved clock  figures  are more interesing than the clock itself

dry eyes are actually a problem of too much RNA on the eyeball

“ indeed, among the DED definition criteria, its  pathogenesis  has been largely described as the result of chronic inflammation and activation of the immune system, with involvement of a wide variety of inflammatory mediators, notably chemokines and cytokines ”

“ you must finally  learn to love ”

i am love

you don’t understand

we had school milk when i was a child and we always used to complain when it tasted  tainted  because it had been left too long in the sun

when i buy milk from the supermarket i am careful to take the latest date code and from an area being stored in shadow and not directly exposed to the cabinet lighting to  maximise  nutritional value

the real problem of iran having nuclear weapons is not actually having them, but keeping them out of the hands of  “ terrorists ”  since the so called government is in fact a temporary alliance of competing militia

you can imagine the chaos and destruction the possession of several atomic bombs could wreak with a single minded ideologically driven militia

trump is uneven, but he has this one right, at least in identifiying a real problem

sepehr  replies

why don’t you mention the fact that israel has illegal nukes.  i believe israel is more destabilizing than even iran

my  reply

the israel nukes are government controlled, the problem with iran is that it still doesn’t really have an all powerful central government

mutually assured destruction works, provided the parties involved have a sane perception of self-interest

the more you dig, the more you find

olwyn hughes

lol, that’s not a sister-in-law, but an army

its a good photo

 look at the rellies before you marry !

i wouldn’t say i was addicted to r|zen, i did get utility out of it learning to deal with difficult people and how incorrigible they are as well as reading the old zen texts they posted, but in the end the utility no longer outweighed the costs of being in, what has become effectively a psychward

so speaking in terms of addiction one needs that change in perception which happened in this case with realising how awful these people are and that any sort of association is damaging

then there’s the pragmatics of getting the place out of your hair which in my case means no reading of the subreddit at all and keeping a log of each day passing with no reading which is fifteen now

and also chasing those aggressive arseholes away from pm’ing me or posting on the zen_mystical subreddit

they are real  “ kick you in the face ” ,  rob you and expect to be thanked for gracing you with their company people, narcissism past the point of stupid

that’s why you have to be so careful about the net, a lot of the people on it are very extreme, like nothing you would ever come across in normal life

i never had a problem with pot or alcohol because i already had the basic perception in place, that these substances damage the brain and in a way all we are is brain and the nervous system, but its obvious a lot of people have yet to see this

pot smoked in adolescence is lethal to the developing brain

i do think alcohol provides significant amounts of chromium in the diet and a way of looking at alcoholism is it is chasing chromium, so in my view anyone with an alcohol problem needs to supplement small amounts of chromium

all my observation of people who take LSD is it damages the brain

in general drug use bends people into narcissism and hubricity, a sort of false solipsism if you will making them undealable which is why the drug scene is so fraught and dangerous

cats have a clear theory of mind for things accidentally done to them like a human hitting them with their foot because they didn’t see the cat whereas hostile directed behavior addressed to them they understand as hostile and vamoose

they have a poor theory of mind for being in an enclosed space with doors that can be shut on them, despite being so corralled several times they still get locked in

they have zero theory of mind for human language except for feeding calls and possibly their name

in terms of  ‘ the free energy principle ’ ,  where they have useful maps of reality they act adaptively and productively, but where there are no maps they get burdened with huge amounts of unwanted  “ surprise ”

sylvia plath wasn’t an accident in the sense both her parents were highly unusual people

i couldn’t understand  medusa  at first, but a bit of  research  opens it up and its disturbing to read, she feels so injured by her mother

medusa duals as jellyfish and the snake haired women of greek myth, water rod is a dowsing stick, hot salt relates to a theory of paracelsus who was the subject of arelia’s honour thesis (both the fact of the thesis in 1930 and the subject marks aurelia out as totally unusual  -  though her father was austrian and no doubt familiar with the reputation of  paracelsus )

sylvia was only a few months away from her suicide when she wrote that poem and was obviously highly stressed, she should have relinquished care of her children at that point, but really she was not getting any competent advice and very little help from anyone, its cruel world and the iron maiden closed too tight on her


there’s a lot of negative stuff about ted hughes which is unfair, but really he was a bit of an arsehole and lacking in judgment

she dies and  ‘ all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put humpty together again ’  and a huge industry springs up in her wake feeding off the tragedy of her life, she goes to join van gogh and other great artists suffering penury in life to leave their works to feed mediocrities comfortably

writing your own work will keep you sane in a difficult world

why be  dismissive  of teenage angst and echoes of enya and others ?

its original and works well

creativity is misunderstood as coming from nowhere, but it usually is a new synthesis of various somewheres

jason  writes

i went to a friend’s down on the south shore last night, this is after driving to the north shore to work all afternoon and night

when i get there its just some guys, some degenerates but all alive

the roommate who i know has a young girlfriend, she brought a handful of her friends over for the night

they’re all young, 18, 19, all as good looking as they’ll probably ever be, and definitely good looking

when i sit down next to them they start complimenting my glasses and all this, one of them is a smaller girl with long black hair, a pretty face, a stunner to me

well i don’t really push the conversation and i’m just talking to some other guys and we’re watching tv

the long black haired one sort of retreats back after i don’t continue the conversation and is snuggling up next to her friend who is actually quite funny as she’s making comments about the show

me and this dark haired girl have some sort of natural affinity for each other because we’re both sneaking glances and sometimes when we make eye contact, even caught her looking at me but i wasn’t really trying to look back

i’m talking to another one about pop culture and funnily enough she’s dressed similarly to me, both with a purple t-shirt and some nice sneakers, an affable person at least to me

anyway later i’m getting ready to walk with a friend back to his place down the boardwalk with another friend of mine, as i’m leaving i wave goodbye to all of them and i unconsciously sneak a glance back over my shoulder at the dark haired one, we both flinch

i was expecting to just get in my car and leave after the walk, but i left my sweatshirt up in the apartment, i don’t need it but i don’t want to leave it, i hope a bit the girls are still there when i go up but they’re gone

maybe i’ll see them again, maybe i won’t

amoda maa   :  boring clichés

aisha salem   :  schizophrenic twaddle like it means something

the spiritual circuit

the stupid dull speaking to the stupid dull

the rooms of non-reality are all around us

we peer in

you can read forever, but it lacks the excitement of your own writing something new to yourself

sometimes its something you have never seen written before

you can read forever, but it lacks the excitement of your own writing something new to yourself

there’s lots of big game fishing videos on the web, but they generally seem unreal or distanced

this one  doesn’t and actually the  ‘ sailing nahoa ’  channel is overall very interesting

i remember catching a tuna sailing once, nothing like the size in the video and i gutted it and in the stomach was another, and inside that fish was another and so on for seven fish total including the original tuna, i couldn’t believe it !

scarlet reds

what they forbode


scarlet reds

what it forbodes


you can get so tangled in people and other lives that you go nowhere yourself

just because they are rich, doesn’t mean they pay well

steve   says

in my mind, the more you get done, the more you accomplish, the more you manipulated your time properly, the more you have got in a life

my  comment

that’s really a recipe for burnout from over-compression

you need space to look at things, rethink them and discuss with others

i have done very detailed technically difficult work for a lot of my life and the negative side of that is it guts you intellectually so boring trivial work has the strong upside of leaving you plenty of intellectual space if you want to skill up in another area

eihei dogen really screwed up in his observations of an 86 year old man drying mushrooms in intense sun, schizophrenically projecting nonsense about being humble and just doing the job when he should have been asking about nutritional benefit

i wonder if he picked up  tuberculosis  in china ?

can a woman be as stupid as a man ?

they mightn’t think so, but the answer is yes

memorials, creating the illusion of meaning after we die

there is no meaning

memorials, creating the illusion of meaning after we die

brittin lane  covers  ‘ dream a little dream of me ’

outstanding, but a slight reverb/echo

it almost seems to me that the majority of people involved in religion or various  “ spiritual ”  paradigms are there to live in an environment decoupled from reality where they can massage their self esteem with the most atrocious bullshit

poor sylvia

a bright star

seen through a cataract



talent is damage intelligently percieved

the odd thing about women is they have a fairly good theory of mind about how men work which must come from evolution whereas men are continually mystified by women, at least until they gain experience in the school of hard knocks

poetry is different from lyrics, there is a semantic density that lyrics, by their nature, don’t have

lyrics are actually semantically bare and carried along in mood by the music, their weakness and strength

the weirdness of the discovery of sylvia plath’s story  “ mary ventura and the ninth kingdom ”  is its astounding quality, she was a prose writer of genius and if the story had been accepted by  ‘ mademoiselle ”  her path in life might have been quite different and less destructive

the even spread of great talent also lends it to the lack of attention to what turns out to be life’s fatal holes

she is also an example of being educated into a certain life incompetence

mary ventura is upbraided

you let them put you on the train, didn’t you ?

you accepted and did not rebel

my reply

why should there be any consequence in what i do from one moment to the next ?

why should there be any consequence in what i do from one moment to the next ?

you have some unattractive features as a personality

the writers of scripts have the power of creating  ‘ seeming ’  but none of the reward

the writers of scripts have the power of  ‘ seeming ’  but none of the reward

henry miller stayed with lawrence and nancy durrell in the  white house 

henry, lawrence, anaïs, quite a little literary club

taurine definitely helps me with migraine, i assume because  “ as a neurotransmitter or neuromodulator it may display  inhibitory  functions ”

 why do they chase me ?

if they think they are right

 why don’t they go their own way ?

fingerstyling gives guitar playing an extra dimension

when chimamanda adichie is depressed she watches films about the holocaust for hours and hours

ed.  about four fifths  down

i think women writers who get pregnant and raise children have it too hard, the conflicting demands are too severe, you can see it in the clunky poetry of jenny joseph, yet she is clearly a writer of genius

yet there are so many talentless childless out there imposing their nonsense on the world with a damaging abrasive energy that makes it traumatic to tangle with these idiots

what i have really only picked up in the last four or five years, grace vandewaal at 14 already has a good bead on

she’s using fans  covering her songs  to improve her own singing and writing since they come from a different angle to hers and really providing solutions that otherwise she might never get

when i do any replying to anyone i try to let them develop me, and actually after a while you will outgrow some of them, there gets to be a sufficiently large distance between you and them that they can do nothing for you anymore except bother you by their impudence and wasting your time

‘ dispacito ’  on a  marimba

the disaster of world war two for russia, is having perfected a killing machine like no other before the war, the war then offered a human mincer that could never be filled

the killing machine shovelled so many russian lives into it that russia has never recovered

inadvertent genocide

jason  writes

kacent and her boyfriend went to see  ‘ alita ’  at a state of the art imax theatre, they paid like $25 per ticket and said  “ its the only way to watch it ”

it probably was the best way to watch it to get the the most out of the cgi, but kacent liked the story line but i told her its really about the cgi

my  reply

i think its more than the cgi, but the script was weak like all these big budget films

london was significantly bombed during world war one



the british must have been blind in the approach to world war two as to what was about to happen

oddly the germans obviously had the potential to develop what was a huge deficit in their world war two arsenal, the   long range  bomber

everybody believes in male and female

do you ?

meaning,  meaningless

meaning   meaningless

women have one child and then they lose their marbles

pub, pub, pub, do you ever think about the fact that we have to mean something all the time

the $363,000 yamaha ctx was the clear  winner  with the best all round sound but the rest had weaknesses and some of the more expensive were no better or even worse than the cheaper

‘ for all time ’  is not such a big deal and in fact  thermopylae  will be forgotten as the earth forgets

but they should have retreated, their defense of the pass made no difference to the outcome of the war anyway, the persians were defeated by their own incompetence and inexperience with sea warfare

the spartans, who were literally a society designed to produce warriors almost at a science fiction level got caught up in their own bullshit

why jane austen is a mystic is that the intensity of her writing is a fugue

the heresy of the current heterodox zen is that there is some objective philosophical understanding that stands in for fugue states

the true zen which really has no name is existance as infinity

the nature of the estranged world is that it mimics this

meditation is indefinable

let the idiots prance around with their  “ definitions ”

if you start to think about  “ entertainment ”  rather than be entertained, you will enter quite different territory

if you start to think about  “ entertainment ”  rather than be entertained, you enter quite different territory

the whole science fiction spiel/trope of assassinative automata is absolute nonsense ,  any automaton of that sophistication would have to be principally concerned with its own survival like the rest of us

from the female point of view, men are just babies to be managed

i wouldn’t say men have any perception of that

from the female point of view, men are just babies to be managed

what went right

what went wrong

not some



you can’t get meditation  “ right ” ,  no more than anything else can

let the bumbling idiots with their practices get more obscured, self knowledge is one post on a long journey  let the idiots pretend, but travellers move on

a restatement below which i will allow has an apparent contradiction, you have to read it as being  “ beyond meaning ” ,  that is, you can’t really grasp it, grasp it and it flips into another meaning, i think this is how dogen really wrote, but we can’t see it because translations can’t reproduce the effect

meditation is indefinable

let the idiots prance around with their  “ definitions ”

the thing about survival is that, why is it so important ?

well to not survive is the loss of information

for every generation that dies, information is lost, yet with the following generation information is built up again only to be lost when it too dies

we structure the world

the act of structuring also creates the world

a karl friston quote

i am, whatever i think i am

 if i wasn’t, why would i think i am ?

my  reply

you aren’t so why do you think you are ?

a pregnant woman is  at the limit  of the bodies ability to sustain that long term energy expenditure

its not just childbirth, no wonder women are so tough compared to men

i shot four wallabies early this morning, 3 from standing which i put down to moving the scope closer to the eye but only recovered two carcasses, i was not quick enough to break their necks and they disappeared into the rushes, badly wounded as they were

there’s eleven feral cats around the carcasses i skinned today, rounded bellies and content, like so many lions around a kill, but its not a zebra on the savanna but a lawn and wallabies

the definition of bloviate is to talk at length, especially in an inflated or empty way

ted talk


chimamanda ngozi adichie

a good  article  on andy clark

read this and you understand more than 99% of philosophical and religious thinkers

this principle of the brain acting to reduce  “ uncontrolled surprise ”  is something one continually comes across on net message boards, all the outright and quasi-schizophrenics trying to minimise their cognitive dissonance without any regard as to what is actually true or real, they prioritize only their own reduction of dissonance to their flawed world models

for some reason i have a feeling that both krishnmurtis were somewhat on track for this and toni packer perhaps more on track with her emphasis on self observation of the developmental schema of the brain

lorianne disabato  blogs  on her latest  “ rescue ”

my  reply

this may strike you as lacking  “ compassion ”  but aren’t you being caught in some sort of a trap of your own unbridled and unmet maternal instinct looking after an injured or damaged dog that you have no life long association with

its empty and void imo

no  “ fun years ”  of the dog being young and well and now just burdensome care

these best movie trailer  complilations  would satisfy every ADHD impulse in existance

on the plus side if you don’t make the mistake of buying the dvd or going to the film, that’s an awful of effort expended and money being spent to entertain you for only the cost of wasting your time on your part

well that’s a considerable cost i guess

the  justinian plague  caused the collapse of the roman empire and enabled the rise of islam and the arab empires as the arabs were relatively unaffected by it

there’s so much violence in movies and games i think it must be carthartic like the gladitorial contests of ancient rome, that is, physical violence is so reduced at a societal level now, that our genes need some sort of outlet for what they were designed for

constant tribal warfare

no r|zen creeps infesting  my subreddit  or pm’ing me with their obnoxiousness

yah !

stopping reading r|zen and banning and  scourging  the shits out of my net life is working well

god, reading and posting on r|zen is like walking into some weird dystopian universe and you get normalised to the toxicity

brad warner is traveling in europe at the moment, giving talks and leading short retreats, i am trying to explain to him he should be doing video travelogs which would work much better for him than the mush he spouts on  “ buddhism ”

he can build up buddhism, but the dull creeps who infest it will just  “ spend ”  the reputation on their own account with various scandals

same old story, superb cinematography and cgi/special effects, lousy script

alita   :  battle angel

we all have a deeply solipsist yearning

there’s different sorts of holocausts and we are living in one where media has substituted for direct observation of reality

“ beginners mind ” is just a useless catchphrase to decoy the usual idiots into thinking they have picked up a medal

every day i am going to get something done

but always


new problem


the one or two times i have gone on discord i have only lasted five minutes at the most, the people there and level of conversation drives me nuts

what is the end of the world ?

will i be there ?

surely the end of my world




what is the end of the world ?

i don’t know

will i be there ?

surely the end of my world




obviously ghosts are a form of memory

the net audience

choosing beggars

the insane

the muddled



the net audience

choosing beggars

the insane

the muddled



from age six or seven on, everyone is equal

from the islamic perspective christianity is polytheist with jesus being the son of god

however islam with its elevation and effective worship of muhammad is also polytheist in practice

god by himself is of course too boring for any religion except the jews and look how fatal that turned out to be

for all the endless disputes and wars of christians over millenia, monotheism is as misleading as polytheism

“ professor john bowen explains how charlotte brontë combines fairytale, gothic techniques and realism to give jane eyre its  unique power  ”

the problem with entertainment is it proxies reality, actually religion does this too

there’s a generation coming through different from past generations, overproxied by entertainment rather than religion

the problem with entertainment is it proxies reality, actually religion does this too

i just had to block this really entitled idiot from pm’ing me

they want contact with me but only to tell me how wrong i am and completely diss me as a person and anything i say

the basic first step they never ask themselves is

why is contact with me important ?

walt whitman’s poems don’t make sense unless you understand  he was homosexual

street lights

an empty road

busy during the day


no cars

and in the quiet light




something else

odds 25:1 ,  a  fixed fight  for sure, everyone happy except the bookies, those who didn’t get  ‘ the whisper ’  anyway

personally i don’t think the amount of concussion  joshua took  was worth whatever he was paid

on anaylsis  it wasn’t set up, i think actually joshua is showing signs of cumulative brain damage from his career and as a consequence wasn’t at all resilient to head hits, for similar hits andy ruiz kept going but joshua fell away

time to retire joshua

its interesting that competitive boxing now focuses entirely on concussing the opponent out of the contest which is what modern neurobiology teaches about the brain’s vulnerability

its a gladiator sport, fights to the death entail compulsory interviews with the police, but brain damage slips under the radar

islamic art  at its best, the   mausoleum  of khawaja ahmed yasawi

kara recovers, a needed  paradigm

“ is there god ? ”

what is god that he/she/it is or isn’t ?

“ is there god ? ”

what is god that he/she/it neither is nor isn’t ?

religion is inherently heretical

the argument is that god is not directly accessible and therefore you need an intermediary like christ, prophets, or scripture

i think where zen is different at least in theory is it says you need no intermediary, but in reality it is proxied into intermediaries like any conventional religion

mysticism says discover your identity with infinity for yourself which is execution grade heresy in religions as you being god completely short circuits the vast conceptual structures that have been developed

dyophysitism, tritheism, nestorianism, miaphysitism, monophysitism

endless the rabble meanderings of christianity

like any of it matters ?

al those lives and time lost, none cares

i really research stuff

nothing i write is casual, its the subject of long periods of thought and a ton of research

you can’t approach it in opinions which are the effluvium of the toxic

i am sick of people wanting to waste my time with their opinions who have no concern for what i say, its really really dissing me that all they want to do is impose their opinions upon me like i’m only there for their use as they see fit

fuck off you obnoxious badly behaved shits

these idiots on reddit

they don’t research, think or even read my OP’s fully

they just sit there secure in being right because   .   .   they are the narcissistic mentally ill

you think its a quiet life, but i nearly broke my neck last night/very early morning, i was out hunting and having crossed a stream was climbing the steep bank above it when i slipped, fell backwards onto my head then rolled vertically over my head and i could feel every vertebrae in my neck as i did that

still sore today but i have a lot of confidence in vitamin D and K supplementation to make strong bones, but still, a bit of a shock, never happened before to me in my life

i know more happened than seems because i feel a bit knocked out today

so islam is basically christianity 3.0, of course it goes off into 3.1, 3.2 etc

but you have paul’s visionary archangel jesus as christianity 1.0, then an historicized jesus as 2.0  (with endless 2.1, 2.2 etc)  then god’s final prophet muhammad  (the praiseworthy one)  after jesus as 3.0

with the arab kingdoms moving in with the collapse of the byzantine and persian empires you had the stage set and given the similarity to christianty i don’t think conversion was such a big deal

even some captured knights templar converted, sure beats execution and its all just verbal nonsense anyway, loot and pillage is the underlying dynamic

money is everything with surgery and to be fair, the surgeon’s fees are just one cost in what is a very expensive business

its a trade, results and competence are variable and the patient carries the consequences, usually without the slightest redress

new york, that city of damaged entitled women

i really do think visually, i was lying in bed thinking about my impending cataract operation, what should i do when i had this image of a eye with a huge pupil in an owl which i would take to be a  “ wise old owl ”

i think this means be cautious and conservative which means delay the operation and don’t get the toric, but go for a monofocal at least in the low cylinder eye

the problem with toric is it relies on long term corneal stability for useful effect which given its nature as aging tissue  (for me)  doesn’t happen and the iol gets so fibrosed in after decades that removal is very problematic, i don’t want to end up with higher order abberation problems not possible to correct with glasses in thirty years


people treat me well

people treat me badly

 what is my malady ?

cellos are fretless, you must need a very good sense  of pitch  to play

johann pachelbel

one of the pink floyd guys was really into old chinese poetry ,  that’s where a lot of the  “ pink floyd attitude ”  comes from, not drugs

what i have seen is these really top artists do in fact read widely and are culturally sophisticated

when the product hits the masses you never see that side of it and  “ dumbed down syndrome ”  takes over and the reading and cultural aspect is denied

beware of the cretins and their enforced stupidity

they would have you believe in an unintellectual world

i think poetry and song lyrics are different

you can’t put poetry to music without detracting from the poem

poets are destined to be poor i am afraid


a moment and its gone

some-one lives

some-one dies

some-one is maimed

the remanences that




a moment and its gone

some-one dies

some-one lives

some-one is injured

the remanences that




a moment and its gone

some-one lives

some-one dies

some-one is injured

the remanences that



the nature of reality is nothing adds up and we are condemned to cycles of error and correction

muhammadanism/islam is an  evolved  tradition from christian nestorianism

the character of muhammad which is that of a self-reflecting priest combined with a very successful and brutal hands on general is quite contradictory and like the feature set of jesus has no historical correlate

oddly napoleon would be close, his quotes are way better than what 80% of literature provides, but all the same he was focused on military matters and the practicalities of successful civil rule and the theological was of little interest

muhammad is a literary creation

when i go to town its so hard to get decent food, deep fried food has tbhq in the oil, the pies have 1442 thickeners plus only a tiny amount of whatever meat they profess to be

sugar, wheat flour, additives, this culture of plenty we live in

gabriella quevedo plays her  arrangement  of pink floyd’s  “ another brick in the wall ”

lol, utilitarian fingernails

obesity is designed to co-exist with cycles of fasting

that’s all there is to it

“ high-fat diets  disrupt  the normal functioning of the hypothalamus which, in turn, promotes symptoms associated with depression ”

there is an interior logic to what i write, meaning can take a million directions but all within the logic

you can’t beat social trends

men pursue god in vain

why ?

 how can you catch an illusion ?

there’s knowledge on the one hand and self-knowledge on the other

you need both, but in terms of garnering them, life is thankfully short

fame is an illness, to want to be famous is an unreality better than the reality

when they downvote  (ed. reddit)  rather than engage with constructive criticism, they have already run away

that is what you are dealing with

singing uses different nerve and brain pathways compared to speech and is therapeutic for vocal dysphonia, scott adams of  ‘ dilbert ’  fame does this, he  “ sing speaks ”

i love the legend of  st. sebastian ,   having survived being shot with arrows and nursed back to health by st. irene, having learnt nothing he then criticised the emperor  diocletian  to his face and was clubbed to death

at a certain age you assume you’ve  “ gone to seed ”

except if you haven’t gone to seed

what do you do ?

a purple hat or the crystal crown of age

wrong colour or they break the neck

the body flops along underneath

my version/reworking of jenny jospeh’s  poem ,  it won’t ever be famous like hers, but actually i don’t think she appreciated it being so well known and the rest of her writing ignored

a purple hat or the crystal crown of age

wrong colour or they break the neck

life, there’s contradiction and inconsistency everywhere

its intrinsic to any form of public health system or subsidy that a strong degree of triage occurs that does not favour the patient

conversely there is not enough triage for the wealthy who can get saddled with problematic or not necessarily useful interventions

there’s a lot of these homemade  war films  on the web made by germans

they are very depressing and not very accurate depictions of combat, but the one lesson the germans seem to have taken from two disasterous world wars of their own making is a lot of their own young men get killed

they don’t seem to question the why or benefit of the fighting

you would think one world war was enough

interestingly the iranians and iraqs seem to have gone through the same learning curve

poor jenny

“ fey awfulness ”

her writing  lambasted

“ art imitates life ”

life imitates art

i think we constantly create some objective image of ourselves and the world, but its just an image

the combination of actors and scriptwriters is sort of like an overwhelming deceit, you can’t help but be taken in

i had a problem with my computer monitors flicking completely black occasionally, i guessed one of the HDMI cables but wasn’t certain and eventually brought a new cable and bingo the problem was solved

the cause was the  “ bad ”  cable had poorly shielded twisted pairs giving rise  to crosstalk

an arthur miller quote

the best work that anybody ever writes is the work that is on the verge of embarrassing him

my  comment

well he didn’t actually write what embarassed him, he had his son with down’s syndrome incarcerated in a very unpleasant institution and only met him once

cataclysm ,  you can read the tsarina alexandra’s  last entry  on the night before her family’s execution in the langauge she had been brought up in, english

sam hunt, a well known new zealand poet reads  kaipara time

allergy symptoms are simply allergy symptoms

short term use is ok for most medications

there’s these two worlds, men and physical battle and women and emotional battle

they don’t often meet

love, people don’t know what it means or the circles they run around its pivot

no man can beat a woman with half an ounce of sense, let alone one experienced in battle

they don’t always go for the right targets though

you live in a world where your saying something is so is sufficient ?

how are you challenging what i say beyond expressing a negative opinion about what you obviously have zero knowledge ?

that’s called narcissism

there’s a surface and the surface reflects the depths

if the surface is troubled then there’s moil in the depths

“ the intestine consists of compartments  that pace  the immune system’s reactions to the food passing through  —  with less aggressive defenses in the first segments where nutrients are absorbed, and more forceful responses at the end, where pathogens are eliminated ”

the net is full of the drug brain damaged claiming drugs don’t damage the brain

sometimes it seems that’s all there is

“ adolescent exposure to the primary psychoactive component of cannabis, delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol or THC induce changes in the prefrontal cortex and the mesolimbic pathway in the brain closely resembling the abnormalities observed  in schizophrenia

furthermore, adolescent THC exposure also caused affective and cognitive abnormalities including deficits in social interactions, memory processing and anxiety regulation ”

overdone make-up creates an off-putting  “ mask ”  effect

the thing about bad reviews

is at least some-one reads you

i don’t get any bad reviews

an idiot makes and baits a hook

and catches


an idiot makes and baits a hook

and catches


fantasy versus reality

which will win ?

fantasy has already lost

it belongs to a different



‘ there is no god ’

 what is there none of ?

ideas invert

and become


infinite regress

infinitely regressing

going nowhere




a  poem

infinite regress

infinitely regressing

going nowhere




a  pattern

the dusk and dawn of day

those spinning lathes

hone well

the dusk and dawn of day

those spinning lathes



we can be anywhere

if we can find some place of peace in it

no matter how unfamiliar

it is home

why is it only the mad seem to want to give you their time free ?

jenny joseph writes

but do the dead still watch ?

through the dusk of day

my  reply

the dusk watches

both the dead and the living

i don’t think we appreciate what glasses give us, corrected vision completely and biologically disconnected from that very sensitive and critical organ, the eye

“ well i don’t think i’m a hermit ”

for sure, you are too dependent on others, even your thinking is not your own

materiality, people only understand the material universe, though they exist in immateriality, they don’t understand it

“ i lose interest in people over time.  is it a mental condition or i’m just out of sync socially ?  like every girl i’ve ever thought i like, every friend i’ve ever had, i just lose interest interacting altogether.  any input ?  it frustrates me ”

i am like that, i get bored within hours

sorta an adhd thing i think, you have to look at people across the ages to find interesting ones, contemporary are as boring as fuck

what does time mean ?

it doesn’t mean anything

its a construct

shuffling and shaping objects

who cares ?

what does time mean ?

it doesn’t mean anything

its a construct

shuffling objects

who cares ?

one thing that impresses me about jane austin’s writing is her highly nuanced sense of social distance and the art of reserve and being forthright when the occasion demands

a good saying with anything to do with the eyes is  “ let the buyer beware ”

there’s a wide world out there of iatrogenic injury, to see it one has to penetrate surfaces

women daily plaster themselves with a heap of toxic substances in that unregulated area called make-up and think themselves deprived if they can’t do it

i don’t find the world and its guarantees of safety particularly well founded

so many billions of humans

there is only one that understands






pick it up

you can’t compare life to directions it might have taken, but didn’t, because there is only information on the direction it has taken

‘ pride and prejudice ’  is about the meeting of life’s expectations

that’s why it is a fantasy

there are people whom a bit of self observation or reflection would tear apart

and the more brittle who would shatter with a hard knock and eventually it happens

a nice bedside manner does not make a good doctor, indeed the converse may be somewhat true

i have always worn glasses rather than opt for contact lenses because of the long term health problems in the eye they induce

biological systems can do strange things compared to our view of the mechanical, especially long term

surgery on the eyes is never trivial and can go wrong


the whole thing is just predation on other people’s time

you’re a predator of other people’s time

a sick animal

you have been fed too well

you can write any amount of specious crap, make a movie out of it and people will believe it

that’s how religion has always worked

“ at a higher myope the eye’s axial lengths are most likely longer than what is normal and as a result the retina is stretched thinner and thus more vulnerable to rifts and degeneration ”

the way the eye’s natural microbiome loses its identity and becomes like the skin microbiome with contacts is worrying

reading vincent horn’s web site he sure shows signs of drug damage, the usual  “ oversemantics ”  of psychedelic users

reading vincent horn’s web site he sure shows signs of drug damage, the usual  “ oversemantics ”  of psychedelics users

at least the  “ gurus ”  in the  “ spiritual ”  con game for sex and money have a reason for the nonsense they spew, the others who spew nonsense on a volunteer basis, what can be said for them ?

four farts voiced


an emperor of warring tribes

each claiming his sovereignty

who would want that ?


dionysus unchained

you can see it

 or is that chained ?


before soap operas

who could write




jesus freaks

i’m freaked

a papier-mâché character

can’t they tell the real


 the insane ?

joan didion’s most important writing ritual was

“ an hour alone before dinner, with a drink, to go over what i’ve done that day ”

denial of the non-historicity of muhammad, jesus, moses and buddha will become a bannable offence on zen_mystical

buddhism had its origins as a merchant banking guild, christianity as a jewish anti-temple cult and jesus himself was a product of jewish, even perhaps essene angelology, islam is a judaic sect with the most of story of muhammad  (an entirely fictional character)  written in several hundred years after his supposed life specifically to facilitate the social control of an empire

no-one thinks moses was historical now

i’m implementing this ban because people will preferentially argue forever rather than do any research

jesus is a fiction

what  the koan  is about is leaving mentally-ill people to their delusions because they can’t help it, but if you have to deal with them you are going to be driven a bit insane

this false historicizing of what is effectively literature or stories is a fundamental perversion of reality with some heft given the the consequences of voiced disbelief in previous centuries

the earth’s collision with theia gave us the moon which stabilises its axis and provided  water

without this collision there would probably be no life on earth

any rule has its limits

however we have to discover that limit through practical application

the underlying reason is that the world is insane

women have to bear the ultimate insult from men

to bear and devote their lives to children

that are only half theirs

i attract the mentally-ill like flies to honey

sorta depressing really

they bleed my sanity

i attract the mentally-ill like flies to honey

basically the only rule i have ever had about net posting, is does it generate good writing ?

so if i leave r|zen its because i am getting too  “ one tracked ”  there and will make better quality writing with other material or maybe from a life perspective, i need to put the time into other areas

its the  three jesuses koan ,  really i should leave you people on r|zen alone at this point

in western zen, monks have no status, only  “ masters ”  count

actually even in even japan and taiwan only masters count

in china ch’an/zen seems to be some sort of tourist industry

 why is one story more meaningful than another ?

they are stories

the sleeping repeat them

like they mean something

dull dreamers





one of the  “ deluded ”  replied

a pan of warm water

a hand placed within

dream and real

become one

my  replies

the style and words are ok, the weakness is its just weird nonsense

you lack understanding and show no inclination to develop it

brains sloshing in the head like waste water

 concussion ?

waste of time thoughtlessness

i am finding your replies at the level of  “ disturbed ”  and i am distressed by dealing with you

you throw what i say in my face, its just too much trauma to be dissed that way

you think you have insight, but really the box is empty, people must have been telling you this for years, you have made a profession of voynich in a way that fucks your life up

unbelievable, your lack of self honesty

you must read junk

ed  :   he’s mentally ill, you can’t criticise people for being mentally ill

 why is one story more meaningful than another ?

they are stories

the sleeping repeat them

like they mean something

dull dreamers





‘ buddha at the gas pump ’  hard to believe that there are so many stupid and self-conned  people, but the list endlessly grows

only schizophrenics need apply

concioustv is not much better

mostly i find the bad things that happen never come from the direction we are expecting them

its a mistake to think you will find anything ‘ bang-on ’ ,  there is always some process of correction

your  “ middle of nowhere ” ,  may be some-one’s  “ middle of somewhere ”

people expect that there is no step between the person and the writing


there is always a step between the person and the writing

translations of poetry or poetic writing, especially those loaded with imagery are only 30% at best, lacking living in the time, place and language you will never read it fully

there’s always a degree of mutual rape in sex, creation is violent

the piano roll code matches up with the note playing for this rendition of franz litz’s  la campanella  and its curiously orderly compared to other composers like  debussy

the military backstory to jane austen’s books and fascinating  account  at the end

“ tattoos on women are like the surgeon general’s warning on a pack of cigarettes ”

from the comments section of dr. edward dutton’s interesting  discursion

the claude monet  “ haystacks ”  painting is worth the $110 million paid for it, possibly undervalued

david hockney’s  “ pool with two figures ”  is way overvalued at $90 million

i’d pay some-one fifty dollars to take jeff koon’s  rabbit  to the scrap metal merchant

the translations of ikkyū’s poetry are missing something

alcon is like the macdonalds of iols

discussion can be contemplative and draw on contemplative work

it can also be useless magnifying circles of nothingness

some-one quotes me and asks for more explanation

“ it seems to me that r|zennists don’t understand themselves at all in the way recommended, that they are engaged in the absurdity of projecting their inanities onto gobbledegook ”

my  reply

hakuin wrote an autobiography which gives quite a good sense of the person, also we know enough from dogen’s writings and other sources to have a detailed picture of him

when you know about the writer as a person and life you get a different feel for their writings, its like sir henry neville really having written shakespeare’s works, suddenly the plays make lot more sense because they were literally the milieu of sir henry’s life

yuanwu and wumen’s writings are stylised collections of stories and the biographical information about them is very limited

i don’t have a problem with books per se, its just that 97% of what is written is zen is confused nonsense and its for a specific reason, that between transcription, translation between languages and dialects and copying, you are never looking at what the original person said in the first place assuming they knew what they were on about, which is often not the case

as i have said before, there’s no bottom scriptural turtle in zen, but the idiot pretenders quote and posture like tomorrow never comes

97% is not 100%, there is 3% useful in the zen texts, only you need a sense of what that three percent is and not get decoyed by the 97% that most seem to fall victim too as they pursue their hubric fantasies

its midnight, windless ,  mist rising up from the flats below, a full moon  but the light is a bit diffused from the mist

i was sitting on the firewood stack in a sort of seat i had made by removing some of the wood leaving a curved shape

a barking dog was heard like just down the road when it came from two kilometers away south in the hills

after cogitating for a while trying to make sense of bankei and i just couldn’t ,  suddenly i had a vision of a giant flower with deep amethyst/purple irregularly stacked prismatic crystal petals with faceted spikes on top and a round center made of closely fitting small opaque white crystals creating a crusted effect, something like a sunflower center i guess, but no concentric circles

does it have to mean anything ?

i think it does actually, its a type of life ,  traumatic, empty and i should avoid it

hakuin was six when bankei died so he would have been competitive with bankei’s disciples, he was trying to create a reinvigorated zen, which given the material he had to work with was a hopeless task, but in the end he did succeed somewhat

hakuin’s autobiography is a really good read

i can’t say i relate to bankei’s  “ unborn mind ”  teaching, i could go even further and say it is mistaken

subjectivity is not the problem, its wrong abstractions

they try to write


but exemplifying





jason  asks

do you kill bugs if they’re in the house ?

my  reply

it depends

jason  replies

i think it was some buddhism shit that was teaching me not to kill things

my  reply

look up jainism

when one first seeks the truth, that one first seeks it is a delusion

there is no  “ ultimate truth ”

a woman would say that

a man would say that

a woman/man wouldn’t say that

religious texts are stories told by the inane to the gullible

“ i used to believe in writing.  then i got to know some writers.  now i don’t ”

alcoholism and drugs, poor health, abandonment of wife and children, poverty

the more stable ones are talentless

people who do drugs become highly entitled

soccer has a fundamental problem with needing rule changes to minimise concussion, until they do that which could be decades away if ever, its going to drift

zen :   scriptural vs non scriptural

because dogen and hakuin actually wrote we have a much better idea of what they said, also in hakuin’s case we have his drawings and paintings and they come across as real people, uneven in what they say, but at their best very interesting and unique

with them there’s not much in the way of transcription or copying errors, though i feel dogen is not well translated

this is not the case for earlier chinese masters who were often illiterate and  “ the records ”  were in fact transcriptions or stories collected in some cases over hundreds of years, in other words the degree to which what we read is by those supposed people can be quite questionable

there’s no bottom turtle in the sense that the blue cliff record and mumonkan are in fact literary works, in some sense no more real than the game of thrones

when you do get to real works like dogen and hakuin they are still substantially  “ literary ” ,  however they also come across as so idiosyncratic you can’t really find a bottom turtle that is  “ zen ”

that’s why you can’t successfully make a scriptural religion out of zen or ch’an, the bottom turtle swims away the moment you put any pressure on it

i like  this talk  by brad warner, it doesn’t need a bottom turtle, its the reality of a contemplative look in every day life and in fact you see this approach constantly recommended in  “ the records ”  to look to everyday life and work out what is going on for yourself and others and don’t waste your time with  “ scriptural ”  nonsense

it seems to me that r|zennists don’t understand themselves at all in the way recommended, that they are engaged in the absurdity of projecting their inanities onto gobbledegook and this is done to avoid any of the real contemplative work required, which to be fair is a difficult life long process and destructive and tedious at times

just my writing this is going to make no difference to the attitudes here of course, its  ‘ game of thrones ’  fantasy that is sought

ewk  replies

1.   chan’s written records are no more  “ literary ”  than anybody else’s

2.   dogen and hakuin were actual l. ron hubbard type frauds, and there is historical evidence to back that up

3.   brad warner is a history denier and a sex predator apologist

4.   you have a history of claiming to have psychic powers

i think that covers it

my  reply

because of the literary orientation of china’s administrative class and ch’an’s association with that class, it made ch’an very  “ literary ”

dogen and hakuin were frauds in the sense that they were trying to make  “ literature ”  and art into religion, but that’s the case for any religion

i do feel they basically knew what they were on about and are positioned in the rare category of being between religion and literature which is the truest state of affairs

actually i think brad warner also somewhat occupies that midway position

my writing is my only psychic power

the tide goes back and forth

erasing all

or so it thinks

footprints in the sea

a jenny joseph poem put me in mind of this

as some-one who has been enlightened i can confirm the notion of  “ great doubt ”  in zen is messed up, its far more like finding the right combination to open a safe, you twirl the dials forever, then one day, voila, it opens to your great surprise

i just spent $400 on getting a second opinion on my forthcoming cataract operation, money well spent, this guy can do a much better lens

its an invasive operation with consequences and really should only be done when essential, i don’t think i’m at that point yet

cataract surgery is a well oiled money making machine, you have to be careful

people closest to the action or whatever often get blindspots

its a mistake to look for self-esteem outside solipsism

the basic problem one is trying to solve with the  “ mystical path ”  is the general culture milieu is a mishmash of incorrect perceptions and understanding, but of course we are brought up with this and accept them as true without investigating

what is called the  “ path ”  or  “ way ”  in zen is in fact the process of going against the grain and seeing how things actually are and how they work and getting sufficient handle on this to hold one’s views against the general stream of opinion which in fact is really hard because we are evolutionarily designed to conform

so this is the problem and the work required, notions of changing people or making the world better are in a contrary direction to the real work

in the context of my vision with the 6th patriarch, you get hit indisputably with how things really are, so that you literally become a social outcast and can stand against conventional wrong minded views so you understand what really matters and can spend the time on it when all the world says  “ that’s not important, do something else ”

its a world that requires constant modification for anything to work

its a world that requires constant modification for anything useful to happen

its a world that requires constant modification for anything to happen

everything goes in cycles, you can’t just identify some optimum point and go for it

i don’t know, i don’t hold  “ truth ”  as the be all and end all actually

to what does one really orient ?

hogan’s heroes has such interesting real life inversions

sergeant schultz/ john banner was austrian jewish and colonel klink/ werner klemperer was half jewish , his father was the famous conducter, otto klemperer  (a friend of gustav mahler and a cousin of  victor klemperer )

robert clary who played corporal lebeau had survived internment in concentration camps, twelve members of his immediate family didn’t

bob crane was a very sleazy sex addict eventually murdered in mysterious circumstamces, most likely by a friend jealous of the availability of women to bob

all fimed in sunny los angeles of course right next to the mayberry set

when i post on r|zen, i am building skills, cognitive and social

it also gives me writing material and makes me think more carefully about matters in real life i would skip over, i guess in a way r|zen is  “ fugue space ”  even though it doesn’t seem like it

i don’t seek to change anyone or persuade them of anything

people make the mistake of trying to rearrange their net world into what conforms more closely to the way they think it should be

so i am using those people for my benefit

i would run the r|zen board quite a bit differently from the way its run now, but actually all the benefit for me is with the present moderation, a board run more closely to how i think it should be run would be of no benefit to me

i don’t understand why you are trying to persuade me of something

go your own way and do your own thing

i’m producing and you are not producing, you can’t change that situation by persuasion

i’m not seeking to talk to you

“ trailer park escapee 

 like myself ”

a highly socialised and competitively hostile environment where you have to be careful what you say and possibly of benefit not to be understood

the net is different

people appreciate my writing, but in the end you know yourself what’s good and not and that is always the beacon you follow

you are not just writing to yourself, but for others to read and understand as well

i think your writing is bad and stupid and you just waste my time

you are trying to beat me into a different opinion ?

go away is all there is to it

funny thing about cancer, its all fine until it happens

zen master john loori smoked like a train and died of lung cancer, but when he was in the navy the ships were full of asbestos

he must have known about the asbestos, yet he still smoked


worked out yet why you have to write bullshit ?

real writing takes work, not hubric narcissism

you’re just a stupid pretending to knowledge

narcissist, schizophrenic, i seem to get an endless parade of you people bothering me

fuck off

all that occurs is true

yet there is that which occurs which is not true

and that which doesn’t occur which is true

and that which doesn’t occur which is not true

take your pick

stringing words together unmeaningfully

some think this is intelligence

a definition of  the ‘ mentally ill ’  is those doing something very harmful, irrational beyond sanity

suicide is not irrational but failed suicide with its attendant risk of permanent damage is

i don’t know where i am going with this, its some attempt to accomodate the insane in a rational way since the world and ourselves are so permeated with it

its very important for men to get enough exercise as they age

i have written both poetry and prose and yes they do mesh, same person writing both

why these people who are hostile to me and rubbish what i say chase me down when i am just one in million posting in the areas i post in i do not know

is it the quality of what i write ?

 no, the idiots don’t address the why

poor huangbo

some understanding but not enlightened

the retarded idiots


to a fake mantle

scripturalist forced back to the ropes, if scripture has no certainty, where am i ?

the supposed  “ sitting meditation ”  poem written by foyan is not written by him, its not his style at all, most likely a caodong interpolation, its a  “ political ”  document supporting  “ silent illumination ”

there’s some really wrong minded bullshit around

you are hostile to me

what do you expect ?

what do i expect ?

life is full of continuity yet what is striking is what is forgotten from one generation to the next

life is full of continuity yet what is striking is what is forgotten from one generation to another

you can’t change what who are, its just endless returning circles

you can’t change what you are, its just endless returning circles

you can’t tell fantasy from reality

i seem to bring a little excitement into what must be very dull lives

waste your own time, not mine


one of a million idiots

but somehow

he seems to sum




do you proofread your replies and remove anything that makes sense ?

poor huangbo

ever translated and quoted





we are never born and never die

that’s the literal truth

we were never born and never die

that’s the literal truth

there’s probably about five or six different sexes, its just most pairings don’t happen to breed

dragon mythologies were reconstructions of dinosaur fossils

the reality could be way more  terrifying  than the myth

each generation has a different craziness, that’s what history teaches

each generation its a different craziness, that’s what history teaches

a reddit story, sounds like an attempted  kidnapping  to me

“ thank god for my nosey neighbors.  i always used to hate how nosey they were. until this happened. when i was about ten i was riding my bike outside.  my parents always let me ride my bike outside during the summer, but only up and down the street we were on

one day, a man in a van was parked across the street.  he called to me, asking me if i had seen his dog and could help him find it.  me, being a dumb child, offered to help him find it, and i started walking towards his van.  my neighbor, and older white lady, came bolting out of her house hooting and yelling, telling the guy to back off

the dude got back in his van in a hurry and took off, and it wasn’t until many years later that i realized how bad that situation could have been ”

my  comment

what is interesting about reddit and the net is how outside your normal experience other people and what has happened to them can be, its illuminating and requires caution at the same time

there’s some really weird shit at the extremes

will you be the belly-up goldfish you always are ?

will you be the belly-up goldfish you usually are ?

the person most injured by the r|zen moderation policies has been ewk, he has become too unreasonable and non negotiable, the mods don’t care for his mental health, they have got their attack dog, they don’t give a fig about him

“ its might makes right in the r|zen subreddit ” 

running a sub well requires skill and objectivity, with those i don’t think the complete control the owners and moderators have is necessarily a problem, however where they are lacking as in the present case things get very messy

all you can do is look out for yourself and extract the benefit of information and life processing so each time you post you can walk away in the black

the subreddit as it is suits me the way it is presently run and if it was run more along the lines of how i think it should be, it wouldn’t be of benefit to me

its precisely because of his privileged position on the sub that ewk can’t extract benefit and gets harmed and when i think about it, in the broader sense of privilege in the religious  (or any?)  real life context, it seems to inevitably lead to harm and bad behaviour

so many ammonite fossils, now  a real one  99 million years old

you came through  “ no gate ”

you look back and see a gate

“ what about a person looking forward ? ”

its not really possible to look forward

if we look forward, we look forward through the past

you came through  “ no gate ”

you look back and see a gate

the transmission is in infinity, when you find it there, you will know

infinity can only be discovered by those whose lives have fallen apart

the first published manuscript of  the yunmenlu  dates to more than one hundred years after yunmen’s death, he himself never wrote anything and therefore i assume was illiterate which was the normal state of affairs then

you just can’t say for sure what yunmen said, i am sure some of it will be on mark, but others are clearly wide of the mark, just your usual zen cliché perversion

transcriptions always have this problem of being written in terms of what the transcriber understands ,  not the speaker, distortions always creep in

go suck eggs  “ scriptualists ”

an  ‘ on the mark ’  quote

a monk asked xuefeng   :   whatever i see, i do not see the dao; though i Iove travelling how would i know the road ?

xuefeng replied   :   how else ?

the monk did not understand and asked master yunmen who replied   :   two pounds of flax make a robe

when the monk later related this to xuefeng, he replied   :   ah !  i’ve always had my doubts about what i wear

my comment :

the scripturalists take toxic ill fitting clothes and then claim them as comfortable, tailored and fit for purpose

work it out yourself and the proof of the pudding is convincing personal expression

repeating clichés only convinces whoever spews that nonsense

‘ scriptualists ’  are frightened to confront the non-scriptual world

scriptualists are frightened to confront the non-scriptual world

migraine makes me a christ

i die, i recover

an ersatz crucifixion

its a funny thing, very few people read poetry, but everyone knows you can’t make money from it

some people reject any notion of there being problem, other’s see there is a problem but don’t do anything about it and a small minority do something about it

it gets very murky because each of us spans all three

i write so much that proof reading is a bigger burden than writing, the plus side is i know its helping make what i do is real

its weird to have reached my age and show no sign of slowing down or writer’s block which i put down to supplements and diet

travel in iran seems surreal, the arabian nights  on a motorbike

the koan of the three jesuses

because in christian terms its blasphemous for there to be more than one jesus i struggled with forming the plural since it is so rarely encountered

this is a true story and one i think about occasionally

a psychiatrist thought it would be a good idea to bring three people in the asylum he worked in together in a discussion group and see how they dealt with each other

they did end up arguing over who was the true jesus, none of them relinquished their claims to be jesus but after several sessions one of them reprimanded the psychiatrist as depriving them of the dignity of their delusions, that he had no business doing this

i don’t actually agree with that having seen the way people with delusions behave, but still there is a point and i think its the way your time can be wasted dealing with these people, they will suck it forever

with the exception of charles bukowski, i have never seen a poet or writer  “ improved ”  by alcoholism

and actually charles bukowski could have tapped another dimension if he hadn’t drank so much, it was  “ in spite of ”

he was clearly a literary genius as a teenager but had the misfortune to be growing up in an anti-literary culture

fatty_loot tells me

“ huineng didn’t give you transmission

your hallucination of huineng did ”

i have never hallucinated in my life

your views are those of suburban materialism, what can i say ?

“ if you didn't hallucinate, how did huening transmit ?  he’s dead yo ”

if i explain it, people just copy so i don’t

that way i know who is bullshitting and believe me they all do

“ guy makes claims then claims its others people’s fault that he’s failed to support them ”

its better people like you remain ignorant

transmission of this nature is the only way true enlightenment comes, you just have to work out whether what i write comes from somewhere else or not

i don’t have to make any claims or otherwise

“ guy who can’t support his claims claims to know what’s better for others ”

lol, i just mean its better for me for you to remain ignorant

i just can’t be bothered, you are hostile and will never develop any understanding so what’s the point ?

wasted energy on my part

poor fatty loot

he gives a hoot

about dharma transmission

but all he does




why ask for meaning in an insane asylum ?

the meaning is in how things have gone wrong and right

why ask for meaning in an insane asylum ?

the meaning is in how things have gone wrong

the fakes quote because they don’t understand and can neither explain nor say anything original

the fakes quote because they don’t understand and can neither explain or say anything original

poetry is a dynamic object, its always changing and each time you look at it, it will be different

poetry is really a compounding of ambiguities through layers of meaning, ellipses, recursion and a nexus of very connected and complex interacting associations/allusions

if we don’t research and investigate to an adequate depth, we will end up with very misguided opinions

if we don’t research to an adequate depth, we will end up with very misguided opinions

knowing how something occurred doesn’t imply knowledge of a fix

abused children often have problems being honest because it caused them trouble

you don’t have anything to say, so you cover it up by just mashing some words together

you don’t have anything to say, so you cover it up by mashing some words together

zen is just a word

can mean anything

why fight the public perception and for what

the applause of the stupid ?

ed. a suprising number of people had difficulty with this poem, i used "anything" in the sense of a mocking generality and also elliptically more factually constrained to anything in the general area of meaning relating to zen which is in fact quite a span

zen is just a word

can mean anything

why fight the public perception and for what

the applause of the stupid ?

you get the george lucas star wars yoda discordian award for failed portentousness

cooked mushrooms asborb  only 5%  of the oil uncooked ones absorb, so it pays to cook the mushrooms first in water or by microwaving to collapse the cellular spaces

a young dutch woman taking a rather amazing motocycle trip  through iran ,  i think the advantage of the way she is travelling which is quite fast is you are only dealing with the locals on a greeting basis so you avoid all the problems of more detailed interactions

whatever, it is working

ewk, there’s a thousand zen masters today and you are not even one of those

poor ewk

he can’t hold a candle


the 7th patriarch

zen masters outrank him


blathers on

in a rabid idiocy

“ i’m going to try slowing reaction purposely to see if other interpretations are revealed.  it may also aid my communication clarity ”

basically you are parsing what you read

is it rubbish/bullshit or not ?

if its not rubbish, what is the sense ?

the trouble with religious/spiritual writing is most of what people like and promote is straight/subtle bullshit, so you have to be careful to read quality and not get bogged down with the morons/proles

alan watts and a lot of zen translations are a good examples of straight/subtle bullshit

consensus is a very poor guide in this area, you have to sort it out yourself

i’d never been keen on milton, but on reading  lycidas ,  it must be one of the most influential poems in english literature, easy to see the influence on johann goethe and john keats

i’m actually thinking i’m quite well read, i suppose i should be

good writing has many meanings and many contexts

a film has a behind the scenes

its a simulacrum

a poem doesn’t have a behind the scenes

its not a simulacrum

the medieval period was an experiment in the tangibility of god

it didn’t work

the middle ages were an experiment in the knowability of god

it didn’t work


problem joan of arc had






power doesn’t make you right but people in power always act like it does

to be usurped and replaced by the same




there’s a million roads to being infinity, why am i the only one ?

my re-translation of huineng’s and shenxiu’s famous poetry duel

there’s work, but it must be in the right direction

when you get there there’s work and no work

those who never get there won’t understand this

they only work going in the wrong direction

interestingly japan had the most advanced atomic bomb program at the start of the war, if they had combined their efforts with the germans  “ high castle ”  could have been a reality and we would all now be talking about the brave and courageous efforts of the japanese and germans during the war and how mistaken the west and russia were in going to war against these   “ superior ”  peoples

however the japanese naval command who the atomic bomb project worked for starved it of resources and instead built huge waste of time gigantic battleships and submarines because in their minds they were still fighting the russo-japanese war

george c. marshall is the unsung hero of organising the allied war effort

everybody is just this world


everybody is just the world


everybody is this world


everybody is the world


you are a scripturalist

you assume you are quoting something meaningful

what happens if you turn the assumption on its head, that you are not quoting something meaningful ?

an amsler grid gives a good idea of the state of the visual field, you can look one up on the net, you don’t need to go to an optomertrist

the motto of all religions : its easier to pretend

decades ago on my trip around australia i was camping out for the evening on a beach reserve somewhere on the nullabour, post WA i think, but before ceduna and a group of young men turned up determined to party and drink so i thought, i’ll never get any sleep and packed up and looked for somewhere else to camp, but one guy in the group seemed upset i was doing that and as i left one of their vechiles tried to follow mine for a while  (i had let my tires down so could drive across the sand and they couldn’t)  and actually even at my new campsite quite a distance away in a remote spot by the sea, another vehicle turned up later in the dark and then left without anyone getting out

i always wondered how dangerous the situation was and  this video  has made me think a bit more

i found people in the outback quite good, never any trouble with the aborigines, but you do hear stories, you have to be careful i think

there’s a pub at middleton in queensland between boulia and winton in the middle of nowhere, i walked in to get a meal and the six or seven there stared at me, it really creeped me out and i left

i remember seeing elton john improvising music and lyrics for actual  “ instructions on how to work a microwave ”  given to him by a member of the audience who apparently he had some sort of aquaintance with, as a sort of test i guess

i couldn’t believe elton’s intensity of focus and his ability to put together something quite passable and i thought that is the difference between genius and talent

same for  alma deutscher

they tap the interior logic and euphony

the same holds for mysticism, endless the idiots with their failed semantic games

sepehr worries that i am a moral relativist and overly  “ pragmatic ”  and claims that   “ all mysticism is about privileging the book of light above the magazine of darkness ”

my  reply

pragmatic self-interest also extends to not doing emotional violence to yourself and that combination pretty well covers the ground imo

mysticism is basically about  “ fugue states ”  of infinity, anything else is by the by

you just want to open yourself up to these states more, don’t worry so much about all the need to make sense of it all

what people don’t understand is that zen in west is actually  “ meiji zen ” ,  a political construct forced on zen by the meiji edict in 1872 which basically forced priests to marry and become a propaganda arm of the nationalist meiji government

historically prior to that zen was celibate and is quite a different culture

celibate priests had too much control over the populace from the meiji governments point of view

a consequence of the meiji influence of zen is that most zen lineages today are descended from people who can only be called war criminals

foyan quingyuan re-translated

what is your mistake ?

an incorrect understanding that is pursued and deepened in its incorrectness and you then have the gall to claim its correct

i think the thing about marriage and children is it all passes so quickly and at the end of the day you are left wondering where has all the time gone

i think the thing about marriage and children is it all passes so quickly and at the end of the day you are left wondering where it has all gone

i’ve got to hand it to the r|zen mods

they have the most sophisticated ban system i have ever seen

my thirty days ban is up but they will be deleting my best posts as per their usual, its super effective, other subs are pretty random in what they remove but the r|zen mods ability to skim the cream off so to speak is truly malicious talent

i thought of posting again, but what has one to say in an insane asylum ?

on the subject of moderation, if you are from r|zen, do yourself the favour of reading the terms of posting on zen_mystical, inane insanity and disrespect is not tolerated

not being fully woken after sleeping can play all sorts of odd visual tricks

what zen is about can only be self-taught or even spontaneously visited


it is posited that removal of the natural lenses for cataract also removes a source of glutathione in the eye and this can contribute to the progression of macular degeneration

this study  has some bearing on the problem saying the macular müller cells are sensitive to a loss of glutathione

“ in dry eye disease, several things happen, there is an increase in the number of white blood cells called neutrophils that gather on the surface of the eye

neutrophils release DNA which forms webs on the cornea called neutrophil extracellular traps, which cause inflammation of the ocular surface and attract additional neutrophils in a vicious cycle

normally,   enzymes present  in tears chop up and clear DNA and other debris on the cornea, but in patients with dry eye disease, there is not enough DNase to clear the material ”

that is ,  it is the immune system being overactive which is what happens when you get older

the historical zen was a celibate tradition and imo zen makes no sense for the  “ married with kids ”  ie it becomes a massive screw up

if you read the old stories the monks travelled a lot and visited a lot of teachers

there’s nothing like that today and to fix on one person is beyond weird, its almost entirely self-taught, like people can’t read but even the ancient egyptians had writing only the zen ignoramuses fixate on the oral like that today

scotty kilmore advises  against  buying a mercedes

an undemanding job leaves time and energy to work on other more important stuff

today’s media culture seems to swallow everyone up and they remain lost in the labyrinth

today’s media culture just seems to swallow everyone up and they remain lost in the labyrinth

today’s media culture just seems to swallow everyone up and they remain in the labyrinth

a cover comparable to the original, dolores o’riordan’s  ‘ dreams ’  sung  by macy garrett

let’s say something that has never been said before

“ pokemon is for morons ”

i just had a scammer call, indian accent though sorta british, i never answer the phone with my name now and it proved a boon in this case because he just had to guess at the name attached to the inital  (which i presume he got off my email addy in some dark corner of the web harvesting) ,  and since i never gave gave it to him, he got it wrong, so i was ahead of the pack so to speak

i never denied having the name he had ascribed to me either, it is better i think he had that

the bastard had the cheek to call back but immediately hung up when i told him he was a persistent bastard

maybe in indian culture it more acceptable to make insults but the sorts of things i was saying would make any antipodean hang up, but he didn’t which is another giveaway

all the same i can see how paranoia can lead one into the trap if one’s not careful

its interesting the fuss over megan markles’s newborn baby, i know for sure that not all is rosy because of the mothers crossing time zones during pregnancy. of course it may take years to become apparent from this distance

bet this post isn’t going viral

anything you look at has a further huge hidden depth

“ for the fibromyalgia patients, metformin, a drug developed to combat insulin resistance was added to their current medications

they showed  dramatic reductions  in their pain levels ”

so much of religion is the illusion of an objective understanding of infinity

a billion miles of meaningless patter

what i was told by a very experienced opthamologist is to only get a cataract operation when its absolutely essential

improvements in operations and lenses are ongoing and waiting has advantages

the fundamental rule of eye operations is  “ buyer beware ”

they are so dumb on r|zen

they can’t recognise the discordian stuff posted and do their usual  “ obsequious ”  bunch of response clichés to it

fakes get what is coming to them

gobbling turkeys everyone

i think you have schizophrenia, you are so determined to overwrite reality with your own version

i think you have schizophrenia, you are so determined to overwrite reality with your version

i’ve been on the net for years and have always had the problem of people claiming to agree with me when they don’t

if you live for species continuity, even that  is defeated

if you live for species continuity, even that is defeated 

‘ a room of one’s own ’  written by virginia woolf is a bit off target and lacks historical accuracy in some important instances

she is somewhat grinding a lesbian axe

the difference between a creative understanding and repetition is the repeaters never unpack to any semantic depth, when you unpack the semantic depth you can create new understanding and works

creative work meets with a lot of hostility from repeaters

‘ gentleman jack ’ ,  anne lister’s extraordinary  life

the basic theory of the specfic carbohydrate diet is that slowly digested carbohydrates provide food for malign microbiome which is the root cause of the digestive problems

if you are from r|zen and want to post on zen_mystical, you have to remember you are used to a subreddit where they ban you for not posting nonsense and love you if you post nonsense

you have to flip the axis to post on zen_mystical and it will appear strange to you


a clear night sky

a frost underfoot

the stars


a clear night sky

a frost

the stars

in theology there are no experts ,  just liars, deceivers and the self-deceived

everybody has aspects of mental illness

you have an inferior intellect, but no sense of it, a sure recipe for continuity in this mediocre life

my replys  to some sort of narcissistic schizophrenic  (SonofSethoitae  —  gnostic nick, sure sign of insanity)  trying to hassle me from replying to brad’s videos

i always seem to get these toxic worms coming from god knows what cesspit of stupidity to make a nuisance of themselves on the net message boards

why not read what i posted initially, its quite specific and must have upset you since it inducted your reply, your argumentation style is narcissistic, i am dealing with facts, but you only argue by trying to devalue your opponent

in simple terms brad warner is claiming buddha was an historical person when the evidence is he is fictional and a combination of myth and distorted historical events and people, just a bad soap opera, why should anything brad have to say based on  “ buddhism ”  have any validity ?

he seems unable to defend what he says

let him speak for himself, you are not him nor his appointed proxy

i think you have a basic issue with trying to control brad’s youtube channel, you are coming across as the wannabe proprietor, but clearly its not yours

brad is hands off comment content, yet you are trying to effect some sort of censorship by harassing

on the topic of buddha not being historical, its a complex subject and you need to do some research

where have i called brad an idiot, you seem to fly off into unfounded extravagances

edit :  he made no reply, this persistent narcissistic schizophrenic finally figured out he is not the channel owner and ran away

the problem with actors is their intelligence is invested in their emotional presentation, this leaves shortfalls in other areas and too much power if they are at all famous, often with disasterous personal consequences

obviously these women had got the message at  the beginning  of the armenian massacre

waste your time yes, waste my time, no

waste your time, waste my time, no