this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don’t warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here



pending poems  index



chronological order is from the bottom to the top of  the page



audio files can be complemented by listening to them with the eyes closed



earrings

hair

make up

lipstick

necklace

rings

the

female

uniform

the army

to

be

feared

except

unity

is

not

so

apparent

follow the flaws

the inconsistencies

the answers

will take you

to the deceit

beauty

the poets write about

or legend

yet when i look

it seems not there

 was helen a hag ?

aphrodite wizened

narcissus as deformed in body as mind

or

medusa

 beautiful ?

ultimate truth

i looked for

and found it

book ended

between

penultimate

truths

an existentially interesting japanese film, targeted at a young audience but it makes you think

strawberry fields

i’ve always had a bit of a "snitch" on seneca because he was executed  (he was forced to commit suicide by nero)  and you’d think, well maybe the multitudinous advices he is so famous for didn’t save him in the end, but then i thought on looking  at his life , nobody is going to get everything right and i should be more open minded about him, a lot of what he says makes sense

committing suicide as a method of execution for the ruling classes in the historical world was very common, i think the advantage was that if you went that way your family could escape punishment and retain assets as a payment for not embarrassing whoever ordered the deaths, often being personally quite close to the victims

a synopsis  of the film "never let me go" based on the book by  kazuo ishiguro

one can see the influence of h.g. wells’ novella "the time machine", but also i think that death row prisoners in china can elect to be executed by organ donation, or at the least, scavenging of valuable body parts like corneas after execution which is by lethal injection, despite laws against it

an interesting documentary on the difficulties faced by  the children  of the condemned due to cultural attitudes  (2014)

a wall we continually cross

without

ever seeing

life’s

phase

changes

fake worlds

so many

like perpetual motion machines

electronic media bring to us

its hard to see

the real

the net

a memorial

of the deceased

on

facebook

apparently

bonds

formed

then broken

our

usual

death

a "differential diagnosis" of zen compared to other religions is its emphasis on meditation and lack of structural dogma, but like any religion in terms of "safety" your best protection is to have read widely of  quality literature  then you won’t be "overawed" by zen and its packaged literary and philosophical concepts, which, after all, have been in the public domain for pretty much forever

“ Psychadelics can help with the "fear of death" ”

because they give a form of death ?

you can’t scramble the brain the way they do without leaving a footprint of damage

quantum darwinism

“ many possible quantum states are selected against in favor of a stable pointer state ”

a superbly written wikipedia entry, i hope it stays that way

basically, the physical reality we know emerges from the quantum along stable lines of least resistance

wojciech zurek on what  quantum  is

the talented elle cordava on  emily dickenson

her take on  sylvia plath  is also very good

her rap/rhyme and  vocabulary  skillset is intimidating

the gone

those we keep vigil for the rest of our lives

when we finally go

they come with us


the lot of ghosts

not the old

decrepit

but young

taken too early

condemned to an eternity

of waiting

for what will never eventuate

sadder than living

is what can never be

voices calling to us

that we cannot hear

the world

asynchronous to ourselves

sadness

seeps

between the gaps

religion

theology

conceptual systems

knowledge hides hypocrisy

and so the world

goes on

as usual

“ Don’t bring the world into this.  Neither religion, theology, conceptual systems, nor knowledge are to blame for your disdain ”

disdain = the feeling that someone or something is unworthy of one’s consideration or respect

"her upper lip curled in disdain"

distain can be founded in objective fact

let’s rewrite what you said

don’t bring the world into this.  neither religion, theology, conceptual systems, nor knowledge are   to blame for   the cause of your disdain

i agree with that !

one of the weird things about the net is you can get amateurs better than professionals, like this young woman playing  river flows in you  by the korean composer yiruma

i’ve looked at other versions and even though she is barely fluent in it, her playing has an emotional depth the other covers don’t touch, even  the composer’s

its an interesting comparison anyway, i don’t think composers necessarily are the best performers of their works

because of legal concerns about safety from electric shocks, many electronic and electric products suffer dramatically shortened lives from lack of air circulation leading to high internal operating temperatures in fully enclosed cases

a stepping drill bit is useful for making small holes in the case walls to improve this circulation as you can drill into the case to make a hole without the drill bit plunging all the way through to damage electronic or electric components on the inside

you do need some electrical knowledge to do this though and it will make the product non compliant from a safety point of view, however you can make the products last a lot longer

children are an extra degree of hazard that needs to be taken into consideration

two ears, one mouth

zeno

what physics has a problem getting a handle on is that immaterial things can exist, from hilbert space to laws governing the planets circling the sun

this realm of plato, everyone has trouble with

the road in

problems accrue

the road out

backwards

where we came from

problems remove

opposites

solve

the material versus the immaterial

the pundits ponder

philosophize

construe

surmize

getting nowhere

thinking

it

somewhere

recursion

lacking salience

defeats everything

one of the puzzles of tattooing is, is its association with criminal, drugtaking and otherwise violent/mentally unstable subcultures a cause or effect ?

i think its both, it is actually ritualized self-injury and body modification, but maybe there are negative immune and health effects from the tattooing and  inks  itself ?

moderate to heavy tattooing is not recognised for what it is, a destructive anti-social marker that reinforces the problems of its subcultures

if there is an answer

where is it ?

mandelshtam’s sea shell

rolling on the shore

the echo is sonorous

that is the answer

ed.  the reference is to osip mandelstam’s  poem  (there are a number of translations on the web) which has the ending below

and our whispering spray shall fill

with wind and rain and mist

the walls of the brittle shell

a heart where nobody dwells  .   .   .

you can’t scramble your brains with drugs or alcohol and expect to come out unscathed

yet

many do

you can’t scramble the brains with drugs or alcohol and expect to come out unscathed

yet

many do

lotuses

bland symbols of buddhism

a bland religion

spiced

by sex and financial scandals

aldous huxley’s failed coinage

to make this world sublime

take half a gram of  phanerothyme

which lost out to humphry osmond’s

to fathom hell

or soar angelic

take a pinch

of  psychedelic

my  reply

a pinch he took

and entered a maze

but on coming out

was still in a daze

ed.  my entire experience of psychedelic users on the web is they are entitled arrogant arseholes, not one exception, dangerously "missionary" for their cause, you can’t scramble the brain safely, a truism they are living evidence of

its chemical concussion  to take psychedelics

in my life i have only seen a very few flower arrangements i like

here’s one

ed.  the way it vibrates when bumped gives them away as plastic, i probably liked it because i have seen this arrangement before

is and is not

coming into being

and disappearing

all that can be said

is here

in  the closet  of the vatican

years ago i watched a video of pope benedict and senior clergy paying close attention to an acrobatics troop performing for them  —  the men in the troop were good looking muscular types and the pope was totally leering at them, that’s when the penny dropped with me about what was really going on there

i am sure cardinal becciu is only the tip of the iceberg in terms of embezzlement and cardinal pell’s death must have brought sighs of relief all round

its a culture of total hypocrisy and larceny of the public purse, it really made me see mother teresa in a different light with her shift to more atheistic views in later life

men

those blind asses

evolutionarily designed

to be lead by women

who follow

the species imperative

to successfully

breed

darwin

had

a wife

deadlines

get pushed back

for new lines

called

deadlines

meaning in abeyance

he

still

has

to

understand

meaning in abeyance

she

still

has

to

understand

education

worse than drugs

for

distorting

your sense of reality

likewise

an

irreversible footprint

of

damage

so much poetry

meaning in abeyance

in the wrong way

a snarl of contradictions

bad analogical declamations

the words mirror the brain

so pretence is no longer effective

there is a space of attainment

competence

while there

though never easy

yet is easy

and there

don’t get bogged down in the opinion of others

but

go

your

own

way

what goes

is

gone

hard to accept

is

accepted

our boundaries

that we cross

unwillingly

or

willingly

define

us

in

a

way

that

is

difficult

to

understand

the holocaust was an extraordinarily effective operation in terms of deception and organization

its not appreciated the extent to which this was enabled and driven by german academia

i think we are seeing academia go on another toxic bender with neo-marxism, identity politics, diversity, " woke" and "trans"

its not in the same order of harm, but still   .    .    .

a very good  documentary  on anton chekhov, a turbulent life in a turbulent period, a lot of social change with dramatically increasing literacy and tuberculosis being a common termination point, we don’t know how in that respect, life is so different today

voices in the wind

its in the town of otsuchi, japan, where those bereaved by 2011 earthquake and tsunami can go to talk to those close to them who died

simultaneity

that space

away from our lives

those who have died

their absence everyday

how quickly we forget

yet

some things

remain

what

doesn’t

fade

observing

from

a distance

dissociating

from a real event

to look

objectively

philosophy  —  the love of wisdom

when you’ve met sophie

only then will you understand

she’s

a

bit

of

a

nag

philosophy  —  the love of wisdom

when you’ve met sophie

only then will you understand

she’s

a

bit

of

a

hag

unrequited love

be thankful

the universe

has

delivered

to

you

immersion

solves

all

writer’s

block

galaxies

of

ideas

so

constant

poems

with

one

word

per

line

space

on

screens

is

free

larry eigner at his best is a great poet, totally underappreciated

one of his poems  (respaced by me to improve readability and smooth the flow)

again dawn

the sky

dropped its invisible whiteness

we saw pass out nowhere

empty the blue stars

our summer on the ground like

last night another time in fragments

conspiracy theories

aliens

prehistorical civilisations

trying to impose

a continuity that doesn’t exist

the vacuum

of incalculable complexity

is

hard

to

handle

the unknown

is

multifaceted

if there is no answer

question

the

question

"emergence"

isolates

different scales

a

computational

boundary

theology

is

faux

computation

"scrolling paralysis"

if you know what it means you know

pregnancy

a phase change

the depth of which

is

beyond

the male

a butterfly

a glimmering image

beauty takes you in

dopamine fasting

flotation of mood

in

cataclysmic

shortfall

one of the surprising things about south korea is the extent to which it is christian

china and japan would also be this way if not for its brutal suppression at various points in their histories

i would have to say it is the most sophisticated religion and missionizes well, theologically a mess, but they all are

"O. K." has quite  a history  to it

once you understand that jesus is a fictional character ,  this stuff  looks completely insane, what are these women doing ?

women

anchored in people

its dragging

is the least of the problem

promises don’t last

because

we

don’t

last

non-persistence

whatever we would hold

fades

hypnotic

just keep reading

you will get into it

finish at the start

the end at the in-between

the beginnings are mixed in

tell me its not true

nothing resolves to single point

because there is no nothing

nor single point

theology

is

inherently

mistaken

emotions are constructs

leading to action

believable

even

if

they

lead

to

disaster

this

is

the

human

way

undercurrents of surety

family, health, friends

the last two

we accept the erosion of

but the first

we have and do leave

when the depths well up

and pull us back

down

with them

youth

fleeting

good looks

stamina

naivety

health

benign in some respects

and not

others

i don’t think i am ADHD and indeed are sceptical of the categories, but i certainly relate to some of this

olivia lutfallah

 perhaps you do as well ?

eternal

not seen in the mists of time

but

felt

i have had two pfizer  (which i think is safer than the moderna)  vaccines  (with a four? month spacing between)  and can’t tell whether i have ever had covid or not, but i don’t think i am going to risk another jab

the current vaccines still fail to address that the covid variants don’t match the antibody targets of the vaccine so relying only on long term immunity and now there is this issue of  overstimulation  of the formation of IgG4 antibodies which inhibit the suppression of cancer tumours, the jury is out in this, but the jury "being out" also means it is not "in" on this aspect of vaccine safety

one of the problems with covid is a huge variation in individual susceptibility to serious problems from covid or the vaccines eg. i think i drew the long straw and am not in the "at risk" group  (at least from covid), but depending on your genes and other factors the risk/benefit value is going to vary significantly from person to person and there are no tests at this point to delineate this

  my list  of effective supplements for covid and its prevention

hard to read

any war

you are in as much danger from your own side

as the enemy

there is always a time

to disobey

your

own

command

a favourite poem by zen master fushan fayuan  (10th century)  translated by suru

fushan was travelling and lodged overnight at a temple and maybe he stayed there for a while, i can’t remember

blossoms fall on silver beds in brightly-blooming spring

the moon sinks behind the canopy, distant in the night

the empty hall is silent and no-one’s around

i simply pick up sandalwood, burn it as i please

ed.  i think this is supposed to give a sense of continuous time, i’ll just try a reworking of it

cherry petals cover the flower bed

silvered by the sinking moon

in the empty hall i burn sandalwood

to keep the mosquitos at bay

my reworking of another two of his poems

my little hermitage

high in the cliffs

away from the disease of men

a spring for water

and the moon for a lantern

questions about reality have no place here

the answer is everywhere

the night sky’s lantern

not fixed

yet always returning

there is a lesson

in this

low reading age is 50% of the problem with woke and similar, ignorance is not a passive procedure, its an active rejection of what is not wanted to be known and being ignorant, it can get brutal

some things look benign

until you get involved

then

all hell breaks loose

i don’t agree with most views on "addiction", i would restate it in the terms of the "free energy principle", that is, its a biological misperception of what constitutes "reduced surprise" which of course is why its such a difficult problem to solve

this misperception is, of course part of "mental illness" which is another problem of even more difficulty

journalists

entitled

ineffectual

treacherous

idiots

music

no end to the unique spaces that can be carved out

do we ever wonder about this ?

cloistered

monasteries

convents

seeking silence ?

finding

their time

full of their own nonsense

all things

encompassed by

simply

what is and is not

all things

encompassed by

simply

is and is not

the dust of being

constantly raised

obscures

others

the dust of being

constantly raised

obscures

very large numbers

trying to grasp

humans are hopeless

at

this

very large numbers

trying to grasp

humans are hopeless

very large numbers

trying to grasp

humans are

hopeless

very large numbers

trying to grasp

humans

hopeless

the gap

between the  guest

and orchestra

dismaying

vivaldi himself lead an   interesting life  and was pretty much rediscovered in the 20th century

co-incidence

that mainstay of the soaps

compressed so hard

disbelief

doesn’t

even

make it

into

the courtyard

life

however

with

its paucity of probability

except in the beginning

the grand jackpot won

later riches

are

withheld

i feel if alexei navalny and his wife had been more familiar with russian history during its soviet phase, he would not have made the mistake of going back

whatever political purposes his return may have served there’s not much you can do when dead and actually the death of nikolai bukharin is a salutary example, stalin even gave him a chance to flee

a story that sticks in my mind is a KGB officer claiming as a work expense a massage therapist for the repetitive strain injury for his trigger figure

the way they usually executed was to walk the victim for a few minutes with the executioner behind and then put a bullet to the back of head so that it was never apparent when the actual moment of execution would occur, eerily reminiscent of the state explanation of navalny’s death, he died of "sudden death syndrome" while out for a walk

i don’t think we are going to see his body released

an  anti-tattoo  attitude that is rare on the internet

one of the problems of the web is you get "special interest" groups missionizing whatever toxic belief/ideology trying to muscle out any criticism, pro-tattoos being a case in point !

you actually get this in mainstream media as well with the capture of a portal by a subculture with a certain viewpoint like "semi" or "modified" woke

you just have to look at 20th century history to understand the power of "controlled" information

beauty in women is more of an illusion than bitchery

misogynist saying of the week

dance of the cygnets

women wrecking their feet

this  short story  by chekhov is clearly the outline for a novel that he, for whatever reason, did not write

there’s a sense of the fatigue involved in making a well written novel, the various timelines, cross references and impressions to be welded into a coherent whole

at the end of this short story, you feel anton just gave up

whether considering facelifts, body modification or lasik just remember the surgeon’s saying

“ one surgery begets another ”

my view is that the body is a finely tuned developmental mechanism and unnecessary surgery disrupts the balance with consequences that eventually show

of course, necessary surgery has a different risk –  benefit profile, eg. lens replacement for cataracts

it takes

mutual experience

of one sort or another

to cross paths

empty worlds

replete

before death

that’s

the

only

way

i

can

explain

it

similarity

in the strangest of places

was solomon right ?

the endless revolution of what has gone before

is life

the dream

or dreams

what happens

is different

dopplegangers have been a literary meme since forever, its interesting to see it in  real life

i think the implication is, there is a "grain" on human configurations, its not infinitely variable, there is an upper bound on variation, in large populations you will get people almost as close as identical twins in appearance with different genetics

writers

drifting through the tropes

they claim

its

creativity

any certainty

thought about

erodes

because

certainty

is

uncertain

any certainty

thought about

erodes

because

certainty

is

uncertainty

horizons

are not just landscape

boundaries

bleed everywhere

neither hitler, stalin, napoleon, genghis khan, vlad the impaler, ivan the terrible nor mao were single

african skies

thunder clouds

african seas

lit with the sun

surprisingly normal

the people

but not the land

still

like

kipling

business is not supportive of emotional irrationality

addiction

identify the costs

it will take a while

for one cost

to sink home

as

not

sustainable

popular entertainment

the interface between the arts and the ignorant masses

who tolerate their brains being stretched in a way no other area of life gives permission for

loss is larger than gain

hard

to understand

irreversible

what is irreversible is reversible in the imagination

nowhere else

in reality

the road has branched

and the fork

gets lost in life’s distances

and the dust of confusion

masks the rearward view

as for your "ramble", there are so many of you and your ilk posting nonsense that its like removing a city tip, impossible, one just has to live with it

there is nothing to heed in your post, its so full of basic reasoning/philosophical errors its impossible to process

of course, like most here, you are not interested in the slightest in moving forwards

if life were a soap

actors rotating between sets

spewing the same old garbage

wait !

life is a soap !

don’t wonder why the world  is the way it is

its in the genes

i notice my own aggression, so much of the functional capacity of the male is built for war

the mongols and hitler were not accidents and dictatorships are a minority at war with their fellows

sustained social stability is a blessing and not necessarily the normal state of affairs

dementia

a woman who doesn’t know her children

yet can still speak

what sort of world is this ?

ed. there’s a few instances on youtube/shorts of this, its fascinating that a woman escorted by her child cannot remember him/her but be otherwise conversant, there’s something more fundamental about our use of language than memory, it must be writ in our genes which is why it survives so well into dementia

make-believe

making the world

bearable

wealthy men

and the circus of women

naïve prey

circled

by

tigresses

somehow

they still expect to come out of it

intact

slipping from purpose

to lack of purpose

and back again

is ever the way

on the edge of being

things look flat

but occasionally

a bit of the wonder

seeps

through

mental health diagnoses

the long list

the injured

seeking comfort

and not finding it

just words

what is a soul ?

i’ve often thought about this, on the surface it just seems religious nonsense, but in fact it is really an idea with some validity, that of consciousness without a body

i can only think this "disembodiment" approaches some quantum/superposition idea of reality so maybe some of those medieval theologians knew more than we give them credit for which is only reasonable, nobody wastes their time entirely

the disabled

do bland minds count as a disability ?

a mixture of sanity and insanity

difficult to parse

why bother ?

precepts

religious flim flam

for hypocrites

you could imagine that as  a carving  with faces in

pareidolia

thematic boltzmann in a chinese  fantasy soap

not much point in being  a god/goddess  if there’s no evidence for it

a reversion to quantum and superimposition ?

when the shackles of conventional thinking fall away ?

like robots we are

slightly removed from ourselves

going through the motions

of conforming to our beliefs

 a circle or a sphere ?

without a center

a surface only

is its own explanation

of nothing

what appears

we conjure

has a history

of necessity

alternatively

its spontaneous appearance

a momentary traverse

from nothing to nothing

is beyond our comprehension

what appears

we conjure

has a history

its spontaneous apprearance

a momentary traverse

from nothing to nothing

is beyond our comprehension


make-up

the ersatz barrier

between

women

and

their

age

make-up

the ersatz barrier

between

women

and

age

“ Explicit historical info on the day-to-day operations of a temple is in short supply ”

more like censored out imo, too much reality for hagiography

from my own reading monks were notorious for theft, freeloading, "sexual adventure" and monasteries and convents as sources of contagious diseases

h.g. wells steps  into mysticism

an obvious influence on c.s. lewis and j.r.r. tolkien

the interests of others

tangents that fly away

from

us

the "journey" of shuji nakamura inventing the commercially viable  blue led ,  also with a very good explanation of how diodes work

super persistence !

time locks gates

in the way nothing else

can

you know the old saying ,  if you want revenge, dig two graves

well the same applies if you want redress ,  there is no redress


those

locked in our memory

they may be dead

or simply aged

but regardless

shining

in the diminishing light

of

inaccessibility

to fade with us

and finally cease

in the magical world

of forever

gone

those

locked in our memory

they may be dead

or simply aged

but regardless

shining

in the diminishing light

of

inaccessibility

to fade with us

and finally cease

in the magical world

of forever

there does seem to be  a big advantage  in terms of the immune response to the vaccine if done "contralaterally"

when i had mine i also made them use a baby needle so it didn’t go too deep with its attendant risks of circulatory travel, but am not sure whether they were contralateral or not

its quite possible i have never had covid

there does appear to be a question of the safety of having more than three of these vaccines

partial truths

taken together

are complete

let them

come

together

ed. a bot on reddit made a haiku out of this

partial truths taken

together are complete let

them come together

arrhenius’s law

“ As a rule of thumb in most biological and chemical reactions, the reaction rate doubles when the temperature increases every 10 degrees Celsius ”

this has a bevy of applications from the need for electronics to run cool to last to a loss of 70% of   vitamin C  @-12°C, but only 20% at -18°C for 100 days

most home freezers are only about -12°C, so foods really need to be turned over by about two months i’d say, though this will vary considerably with different foods

i had thought once the food was frozen, the chemical reactions had stopped, but, from this law you can see they still go on at a speed determined by how cold it is

i presume you are not an idiot, but really what you write comes across that way, just a mass of internal contradictions and ignorance

having done so much hunting over the years i have the odd skill of knowing how people in films and on tv should react to various injuries, like what a puncture to a lung does and of course in films etc they get it quite wrong, even (or especially) war movies

the problem with "karma" is that it implies an absolute reference frame from which moral judgements can be made, a christian notion actually. in my view there’s too much uncertainty about the consequences of any action to make the existence of any such frame plausible and you can study some history to see this is so

of course karma and reincarnation would make life simpler and more rational, but unfortunately  (or fortunately)  things are way more random and unpredictable

interestingly you can argue the christian belief in life after death is a form of reincarnation

the truth is plural

this hard for people to understand

but

its

always

plural

any category

necessarily

branches

into

other

categories

reading and writing age is not some abstract skill but very dependent on and the result of an extensive range of reading and writing experience and part of that needs to be history or you will get enmeshed in contemporary views

in fiction, "unreal" or "magical" elements need to be effective or they parse into the negative "absurd"

in a way, all fiction is about this "parsing" otherwise you might just as well write the factual

most modern entertainment writing does not pass this parse test

doomscroll

ADHD meets the internet

when the browsing feels like the road to hell

the ideal

and its shortfall

too much weight

is put upon

talent

beyond the normal

and abnormal

in a class of its own

boltzmann has no comment

because

boltzmann

is

the book opens again and again

the leaves falling apart

always at the same place

a new paragraph appears

and it closes once more

we have read and reread

what disappears

and re-appears

before us

x² - y² = (x + y)(x - y)

another  visual proof  even i can work out !

elizabeth cotten plays her  freight train  song, written at age twelve about the trains that passed near her home

the sum of craziness is constant generation to generation

just the detail changes

consequences vary

from the mild

to the horrific

dissolution

the ending

you would think there should be a fanfare

angels in rows trumpeting

demons on kettle drums

god incanting

but that’s

hardly

the absence

that appears

“ aspergers, like a   curse   benefit that prevents people from becoming friends with me ”

being on friendly terms is enough, friendship is a bog of difficulty

“ words used   to attract   by the dull of wit are not to be relied on ”

ed.  quote by huang po

so true !

freedom

consists

of seeing patterns

and not being caught in them

“ Yunmen says, "F*** the police" ”

you say that between spells in jail

“ Lol I really feel Yunmen in this one.  "I don’t follow anybody else’s rules, not even my own" ”

well, he didn’t say that did he ? and in fact, like ourselves there are lots of rules he did follow

i think your statement is a denial of social context, some sort of pretentious posturing, "pseudo rebellion"

rebels have rules too

ed.  yunmen was a tang dynasty zen master ,  i find the question of "rules" interesting because at a certain point, you decide whether they work or not and your taking them as working defines your life to a degree

that is, taking the rule as working is arbitrary, there are a number of perspectives in terms of which they may and may not work and you are committing to one option out of many

of course you don’t have to commit, but if you look at your life you will find yourself, in fact having made some of these choices and they can be arbitrary

“ this girl can’t speak,   like my daughter ”

but being a melodrama you can expect  inversions

the finale  ?

the thing to remember about C and K drama is these are highly traumatised societies with insanely dysfunctional and bloody events in their recent past, the unblunted edge of which has still to be eroded by time

the villainess

social and cultural PTSD in effect

this shit  is mentally ill

it occurred to me that rudyard kipling’s writings were in fact that trope known today as "magical realism" and this genre can be traced back to ancient egyptian mythology and similar

the old truths are not stale

unbinding and binding

is the eternal process

don’t expect

to understand more

causality

the down goes up and the backwards forwards

is it always this way ?

other worlds

swim into view

creating you, the viewer

and extinguishing themselves

the seen

i think some meditation is necessary for zen, it teaches the ability to introspect ie "ride the ox backwards"

however, zazen or seated meditation is not an end in itself, which is the position eihei dogen and soto zen take

“ Thinking about things is important.  There are good ways to think and poor ways ”

i don’t think the world divides so neatly into good and bad, there is a necessary and ongoing process of discovery about what works and what doesn’t and answers can flip back and forth without a lot of resolution

when you see weightlifters, you wonder what damage they are doing to themselves ?

“ three things  i would never do as a neurologist ”

riding the ox backwards

is the beginning and end of the matter

except

when

infinity

drops

in

ed.   "riding the ox backwards" is advice often given in the ch'an records as how to proceed

you would think this advice is plain and easy to follow, but apparently its not

concatenating clichés

what passes these days for intellectual endeavour

today’s education doesn’t teach the humility and incompleteness of knowledge

rather

its dunning – kruger on meth

its not marilyn munroe but inge morath who is interesting as arthur miller’s wife

when you read about  her life ,  she was some sort of literal superwoman

“ and happily ever after ”

well, it wasn’t happily ever before, so why would it be "happily ever after" ?

a way of looking at cults is as a ponzi scheme with human capital

emotional hurt

staple of the soaps

swinging from one extreme to another

is a life

of sorts

even in the 2D world

of

scripts

all my years at school i never understood what a derivative was

from  this short  its quite plain

i think the problem is i was never taught visually, it was always equations

its just the slope/tangent

this is a mainstream chinese soap, but is illustrative of very different cultural attitudes, in this case as to what is acceptable on public tv and too brutal from the anglosphere point of view ,  viewer discretion advised

the night time shadow of trees

something mysterious

standing for more

than

appears

anton chekhov’s short story  the proposal  which is actually sort of hilarious and i think grows his "style" and wry view on life on you

story of my life

giving more weight to those who rubbish me

than those who don’t

guy de maupassant’s short story  a little bit of string

the female universe

lionesses and their cubs

the flux of their being

is

harsh

emotional pain

some things pass

and others don’t

gnawing at the soul

not really to any end

affliction

has a certain

futility

plain speaking and thinking

devalued in today’s world

of

the

dissembling florid

reality is not all there is

unreality can even have a higher place

youth is like a gift, god knows it passes quick enough

“alzheimer’s development in the brain begins in middle age and its effects can be attributed to an  uncontrolled lifestyle  from a younger age

raising awareness among the youth about the benefits of consuming leafy greens, organic foods, or home-cooked meals is essential, as opposed to regularly indulging in junk or processed foods

such dietary habits impact brain health and contribute to vascular issues and obesity, highlighting the interconnectedness of these health concerns ”

its interesting that doomsday cults can’t get to grips with an idea in physics that has been around for a while, that the universe can flip into  total oblivion at any moment ,  its too complete a destruction for them and godless

words

in the beginning were

all else

follows from them

words

in the beginning were

all else

follows

from

them


starcrossed

love despite its failures

better

apart

agonies fade

into a new life

yet

what cannot be replaced

cannot

loss

is the gain

of

grief

in the performing arts, despite having no experience of whatever art, what makes for an  outstanding performer  that the naive viewer can recognise pretty well straight away ?

one of the problems/benefits of the web, is once, in whatever area you see one of these outstanding entertainers, what you are used to locally always appears very inadequate by comparison, so life becomes very difficult in the commercial sense for any but the very top tier

large numbers and small

have this in common

they go on forever

who is to say what is large

and what is small ?

a lot of the way we operate is not to our our own benefit, but to the species since the species survives and we don’t

our genes will only code for what carries from generation to the next

answers to questions

backwards

before answers

before questions

ed.  this is taking roger penrose’s  (a nobel laureate in physics)  idea of the backwardation of time with the collapse of the wave function eliminating the plurality of worlds

there is a fascinating convergence between mystical ideas and quantum physics

faces

floating on the sea of being

make me seasick

faces

floating on the sea of being

makes me seasick

ourselves

landscapes of the past

inhabit

what worlds can’t exist ?

why do our imaginings never temper themselves with this ?

what worlds can exist ?

why don’t our imaginings ever temper themselves with this ?

even the moon

no goddess

but a reflected object

hard to understand

there’s things you need to think about for forty  —  fifty years

not our usual timescale

follow the peach tree blossom stream

not once in a lifetime

infinity revealed

in its manifestation

not as one

not as two

streams vary

take each as it comes

ed.  "peach tree blossom stream" is a reference to wang wei’s famous poem

ourselves

landscapes of the past

inhabit

religions are fundamentally reified literature, several modern christian variants are lifted to a recognisable extent from milton

other worlds

more attractive

but less benign

or trauma

is

their

middle

name

good to train the ear on, follow  the pattern  of the notes

more blurred for comparison

our world of low probability

sundered chances

are sundered

not

to

be

repaired

a well written book or poem takes you into its reality

you

come

out

changed

solipsist inversion

communality

takes its weight from

solipsism

“ what you write, i can’t understand the meaning of ”

what if you don’t look for a meaning ?


black

with a moon

the shadows purl

windless

i shatter

into

a million pieces

refracting

the

light

xie lingyun ,  an interesting eastern jin/ lui song dynasty  poet ,  executed apparently

others may pass

but this moment of intensity

is our own

repetition

echoes

mutation

fundamental

from the trivial

to unanswerable sorrow

life’s span

wider

is

not

necessary

our lives

like the flipping through of the pages of a book

that rewrites itself every day

let’s not lose

this glimpse

of

forever

the usual cult follower is gullible and a bit stupid

that mould is never broken

celebrities

empty heads

even

the glamorization

cannot

disguise

celebrities

mostly empty heads

even

the glamorization

cannot

disguise

infinity

transitions

to

once, twice

three times

i wish i understood this

but i am

once, twice

three times

the wonder of people you naturally get along with

against the outweighing of those you don’t

acting

words and actions

decoupled

from

themselves

its not appreciated that marie antionette was the major political oppositional force to the revolutionaries, her husband was a useless chump and her death was elimination of a serious threat

its interesting that the popular view of her today is mouthing the revolutionary propaganda about her, her political enemy

the victors write the history as is said

IQ measures a type of intelligence, just like it and any other forms of intelligence also measure types of disability

take some words

juxtapose them

make a phrase, sentence

paragraph

have no regard for the sense

and what you get

spans from the devil

to

god

joshu would be the nearest thing to a "zen master in the wild" and he is referred to as a monk

how you would know is he cut down everybody verbally

false problems

the sages’ game

verbalizing

what has no point

to no point

wars

obviate opinions

there are only winners and losers

and even

winners can lose

deaf

the visual coupling with the world

that all seeing vision

deaf

that visual coupling with the world

the all seeing vision

ed. i kept having these shorts from a c drama called "this girl can’t speak, like my daughter" coming up on my youtube and the title resonated with me, i don’t know why and it occurred to me that if you looked at deafness, not as a disability in terms of the loss of a sense, but rather a mode of being that is an intense visual interaction with the world, i could relate to that

as a side note, chinese melodramas leave the western ones for dead to the extent that it gives  a disturbing view  of chinese culture

english subtitles from the chinese are often confused in gender and personal relation


maria joão pires playing the chopin nocturne op 27 no. 2

i had to listen  two or three times  to appreciate it

maria is an eye opening 79 years old

earrings

necklace

lures

to the unwary

and

wary

when i have an afternoon rest

and get up three quarters to an hour later

for the life of me i can’t tell

whether i have slept at all

it doesn’t seem like i have, but the time has passed too quickly

there’s no sense of going to sleep or waking up

not arriving at a definitive understanding

or any sort of understanding

the way to go

zen means different things to different people, however if you are interested in the subject then you need to cover the varied aspects !

r|zen is one aspect, a sort of read only zen, but most people take zen to be a japanese religion, therefore you need at least a degree of real life familiarity with it and in particular some experience with meditation

also its a big help to understand religious scripture as fictional literature, this can be seen across all religions

since i have mentioned "meditation" and there is so much wrong minded instruction on the subject, let me describe "shikantaza" which is the soto/dogen version which is simply to observe one’s thoughts and can be done by sitting in a chair for half an hour or walking around etc

counting the breath, visualizing etc is harmful

anyway hopefully you understand my point, to get a handle on anything wide ranging experience is necessary, not getting obsessed with badly written and biasedly translated books

it turned out that the above reply was well off target in the sense the person i was replying to was a woman with a family, not someone more like myself and in my situation so my further reply was below

ok, your situation is a bit different from most here, in your case i would avoid real life zen, which actually i do  (since as a rule some people in it are not nice and a fair portion represent a health hazard) ,  your family life is going to be central for you as it should be

"i have a lot of resentment for authority and traditional orders and religious stuff" ,  me too and feeling like this is right, just a bunch of power hierarchies run by arseholes

in your situation you have to ask what is productive in the context of life and that’s really wisdom literature and mystical poetry and that sort of thing to improve life smarts

in this respect you need to find what you relate to and is quality, the important thing to understand is if "zen" is valid, then what it is about is universal and therefore its dealt with in art, poetry, literature and philosophy, jane austen is a mystic in this sense as is emily dickinson, poles apart you might think, but actually quite similar

i have  a page  of my reading up, probably not in your areas of interest, but an indication anyway

her  reply

I get ya.  And many a sutra has been kindled on the lips of Billy Joel

This was a good conversation, in English. Thank you

a tossed coin is a wonderful thing

random

however

reality is not random

deep themes and undercurrents

run beneath the surface

other people’s lives

don’t lose any sleep over it

they

necessarily

go their own way

two 50% shareholders

friction from the start

its called genes

no wonder

life is like it is

what is never mentioned about the return of "looted" artefacts from western museums is that 95% of those artefacts  (the elgin marbles being an egregious exception)  would not have survived had they remained where they were taken from and actually their return imperils them, i bet 65% of those returned will have disappeared permanently within another century

i don’t think the victoria and albert museum is going  to see these again , a marvellous and irreplaceable collection

the long standing british cultural ethic of "collecting" combined with the expertise of the museums in preservation is an unusual combination which has enabled these artefacts to be conserved and in many cases their return is in fact to spell their eventual doom

your pontificating doesn’t come across well, i think you are taking the position of having answers, or more satisfactory answers and understanding than is the case or even possible

r|zen A. I.

empty sounds

echo and ricochet

gnomes on toadstools

as much sense as this

ed.  i wrote this in reply to some totally garbled OP on r|zen and the author replied in a like manner to my comment and my further reply is as follows

so what i was saying is the nonsense you wrote is like what chat gpt does when out of its depth

you are christian in your approach in that you don’t question whether the "scripture" you quote is anything but  gibberish

i can write this of course, but what i said will go straight past you


when i was choosing the link for  passacaglia  i noticed i had a preference for one version amongst the many on youtube, that really most performances don’t hit the mark very well, there is a wealth of variance in any score

this is an  interesting video  in terms of that sort of context

from within fertility

the young look

and are blinded

men are just a commodity to women, love is the emotional embodiment of a value hierarchy, no use in being upset when that position is changed

the undoing of what is done

life’s irrevocably closed door

lots of words

a few words

meaning more

than

lots of words

anton chekov   :   a gossipy soap writer

leo tolstoy   :   a deranged theologian

fyodor dostoyevsky   :   autistically not categorizable

nikolai gogol   :   surreal fantasist

the four pillars of  russian literature

a scriptwriter

god to his own paltry universe

no life of its own

it follows his branching

why is the "make-believe" so convincing despite not being credible ?

its because we want to trust in it, on the surface, a more palatable world than the one we live in

the surface doesn’t stand up to much scratching however

what the net is good for in terms of pharmaceuticals is researching the side effects of medications which hardly anybody does

it is usually eye opening, people seem unable to understand the nature of prescription medications is their toxicity and danger has to be balanced against beneficial effects in terms of treatment !

eg  drugs for pancreatic cancer will kill you later than the cancer left unchecked

"kusurizuke" is a japanese word which translates as "pickled in medicine" which tells you a lot about the over-prescription culture in japan

it would be a useful import into english

comparing

near  far

far has more power

but near

is also necessary

down the rabbit hole

again

cross-referencing

comparison

opens

exits

a new phrase

“ bedtime procrastination ”

it even has  a study

moonlight is empty

hard to understand

the coloured flowers

profuse from such banality

i listened to a WW2 account of russian troops assaulting a defensive german position during their retreat and the russian commanders deliberately sent a newly conscripted mongolian company through a minefield to blow up a path for the troops behind, most of course were killed

russian tactics don’t seem to have changed much  with the avdiivka assaults

the tolerance of the russian population to this sort of criminality by their own leaders is just unbelievable

this problem  with the food additive "sugar alcohols" has been known for many decades and is addressed by elaine gottschall’s  specific carbohydrate diet  and also my upgrade of it "the biofilm carbohydrate diet"

i think this is news to you, sabine because you’re german and out of the dietary rounds of the english speaking world

women in the police is, i think, a huge and totally unappreciated socially stabilising influence taking the rough edge off the aggression inherent in a male only force

a strange world

our brains designed for a communality that no longer exists

only a landscape of sparse probability

and poorly matched association

a strange world

our brains designed for a communality that no longer exists

only a landscape of sparse probability

now

you can’t unwrap the loss of time

tv cooking shows all have same the same mistake of equating food preparation and cooking with a diet of high nutritional value, indeed i would say a lot of today’s cooking tends too close to the negative

you can pay $10,000 for a meal at new york’s fanciest restaurant, but its not a patch on the slow cooked possum i am eating this morning, nutritionally supreme with its unusually high omega three levels and quite tasty too

honestly i feel the whole upmarket restaurant thing is a bit of a racket, like designer bags, lamborghinis and the usual bad art, that market is bottomless apparently and true socialism, wealth and poverty united in ignorance and stupidity

rather than being a macro issue  (calories) ,  obesity can be looked at as a condition of micronutrient deficiency

addiction carries the seeds of its own recovery, just as abstinence carries the seeds of its own cessation

germination can appear from nowhere and is necessarily surprising

the term "addiction" is perhaps used too casually these days, in my mind what makes a true addiction is having a significantly deleterious effect on your life and only complete abstinence can break the pattern

identifying and acting on "incremental opportunity cost" is a way to handle it

there’s two worlds

the absurd world

and the real world

 why are they so cojoined with me ?

thich nhat hanh missionaries

like moths around a flame

they join their master

in cremation

isolation

retaining coherence

mood swings

amplification

similitude

becomes identity

the holy way

this is all

do not

be

surprised

at

its

success

scripts

each "incident" radiates a million ways

bad writers choose the wrong ones

michel de montaigne is wonderfully simple  in style  and his views on education have not been  surpassed and are highly relevant to systemic flaws in many "modern" approaches

passacaglia

g. f. handel  —  suite no. 7, g minor, hwv 432; arrangement by johan halvorsen

lots of covers on youtube

the boring

listening to the boring

podcasts

the summum bonum

of ennui

if prose is the brass coin

poetry is golden

if prose is the brass coin

good poetry is golden

if prose is the brass coin

good poetry is the gold

on the way to launceston, near elizabeth town there’s a sign on the side of what is a very busy road advertising freemasonary, newcomers welcome, men better

i figure "men better" is a euphemism for "no women"

an historically contentious issue apparently

one of the technological changes i don’t think people really appreciate is how modern medicine is extending the lifespan in way that reinforces current power hierarchies and actually in certain contexts like dictatorships is creating some problems

simply put there was a large natural turnover of people dying from fifty on that was perfectly normal, an example of this is king charles having an operation to remove tissue in an enlarged prostate, and princess kate having some sort of major operation, both of which were possibly fatal in several years without treatment and that’s literally was what used to happen

you only have to look at 19th and early 20th century film and the people on the streets, there’s no-one over 60

in love

out of love

when feelings change

the world collapses

and

rebuilds

the difference

is

the

same

i have a doppelgänger

we converse occasionally

she’s not here

i am

i have a doppelgänger

we converse occasionally

he’s not there

i am


i can’t be honest about suicide

its messy, a death the end result of something else really

not a c drama poignancy, a beautiful life poised in stasis forever

misunderstood love

or a brutal machine

slamming out tickets

each printed

death

the uncaring world glances at

and then moves on

listen to other people’s opinions of you and hear what you don’t want to hear

listen to other people’s opinions of you and you will hear what you don’t want to hear

a spinning world

the whirligig

a kaleidoscope

of fragmented patterns

but the meaning

is somewhere else

unrequited love

the magic

of

rejection

unrequited love

the magic

of

that sense

of

rejection

life’s absurd plot twists

we exist

there’s no recovering from that one

the world makes a phase change

the serious becomes farcical

you don’t even know who is laughing

what is there to figure out ?

time goes backwards

the future is the past

sequence is discontinuity

god is multiple

and solomon wasn’t wise

benign worlds

need to be visited

to

keep

sanity

writing

even an uncrossed t matters

detail

opens up

infinity

ed.  this is a very simple poem but it demonstrates very well how to build semantic density in a poem by ambiguity and "surprise"

not crossing a t is intially though to be a bad thing and you can take the sense of the poem one way based on that, but you can also take it as a good thing, something surprising that is an integral part of a less conventional understanding and with shockwaves of recursion and multiple levels of meaning to come back again to a unified sense

the interesting thing about quantum computing, is not that the possibility exists, but that since the universe is infused with it, why is it so difficult to replicate ?

i think that’s because replication undermines the separate existence of the universe, if it occurred naturally on any sort of macroscopic scale , the universe would disappear

there are theological correlates to this, jesus, after all, didn’t last very long and had a very problematic relationship with his social environment

china

a culture in isolation

eroding at the edges

we will see

what

happens

only

my own

understanding

others have their role

but its insufficient

compared

to

my

own

life can be too dry

but

wet

drowns

some

as the wreckage

on

the

shore

testifies

beautiful anomalies

boltzmann smiled

existence

had a point

for once

this is a bit of a trite apologetic  story  (by leo tolstoy) in some ways , but there is an underlying edge that is contrary to conventional views about how reality works even though it is masked in religiosity

very similar to renaissance paintings which are able to present everyday truths very cleverly from within the various de rigueur myths

watching a game of chess

yet if you never play

what’s the point ?

amplified worlds

delinquent probability makes contiguous

what is not possible

in

this

reality

i don’t think existence is material reality, i wouldn’t even go so far as to say that material reality exists

the nonsense of philosophy, theology and religion is way too concerned with compartmentalization

that’s the opinion of this boltzmann brain

the three hermits

this is a short story by leo tolstoy, an interesting example of magical realism and has more than a hint of his greatness as a writer, that different perspective

monophysite, miaphysite, chalcedonian

so much bloodshed, political intrigue and intellectual travail

over a difference in nonsense

factional identification

is part of the programming

in

being

human

soap operas

their life is so complicated

they hit their computational limits

in thirty seconds

after that

the universe is not big enough

to

hold

them

a soap opera

its life is so complicated

it hits its computational limits

in thirty seconds

after that

the universe is not big enough

to

hold

it

acting

directors,  writers,  technical

the sophistication of composites

we believe

when

we

should

be

sceptical

what we come into contact with

how little sticks

but what does stick

we can be unconscious of

when we should ask

why ?

a simultaneous identity

crosses time

past and future

shuffled

take the hand

delivered to you

the meaning of the universe

superposition

implies

everything is there

before

nothing

the total surprise

aging brings

unconscious in childhood

rue in the elderly

and thoughtlessness

in between

contacts disrupt the eye "biofilm" making it more "skin like" and susceptible to infection

bloody mindedness

your own

splashed

everywhere

children

programmed with the disastrous beliefs

that will serve them ill

as

adults

finding  vivian maier

jenny joseph  reading  some of her poetry

i haven’t heard  this one  before

beauty

the decay of age

and its absence

questions without sense

expect answers without sense

i oblige and don’t

chanting is a "mind control"  hypnotic  used a lot in asian religions

beware, its a drug that captures those who are intellectually vacuous, these cults know what they are doing, thousand of years refining their brainwashing techniques

god

a dream

of something before nothingness

wait !

isn’t

that

a

contradiction ?

primed to see a turtle-nosed snake

they couldn’t even find it

and chagrined at

the snake necked turtle

they found

they lost

all round

ed.  my comment on the eponymous zen case

effects are causes

and causes effects

a mixed up mystery

of the not so disparate

ed.  my reply to the well known zen koan about an old monk condemned to 500 rebirths as a fox for saying that a holy person escapes "cause and effect"

5 am :

in the shower

a little too cold and

a little too sober

somewhere between

"I don’t care" and

"still thinking of you"

poem by amber prunster

are you lacking the skills and inclination to deal with people ?

amidst all the talk

i discovered i had

nothing to say

and this was a leaving of a sort

not entire

but an easing out

slow

and

painlessly

i no longer belonged

men

excused childbirth

immerse themselves in wars

that dwarf that trauma

shyness

lacking the skills

or inclination

to

deal

with

people ?


a cover  of the "love theme" from franco zeffirelli’s film (1968) of romeo and juliet featuring yoon-kyung cho on the cello

the churn

of present to future

the

past

seen

over our shoulder

opinions

get washed out

by facts

facsimile realities

modern life

abounds

in

them

doppelgänger  of   madame X

very well done

the new year

with resolutions

cannot

match

the old year

carrying

its encumbrances

forwards

i can’t understand there being a market for these  very expensive  "dress" watches

my own watch has packed up and i have just brought a nice digital on ebay for eighteen dollars

as a child my maternal grandmother gave me my deceased grandfather’s watch which i promptly lost, so maybe there is some sort of trauma there ?

dr. mary haver talks about the benefits of transdermal HRT in terms of a reduced risk for clotting

my writeup  on HRT, when i look back i can’t believe i got involved in and spent so much time on this stuff


an effective bass song   hoist the colours high     elliott, rossio, zimmer & verbinski

gracing others

with your

absence

often

but not always

mutually

appreciated

the magic mirrorland

of images

upside down and back to front

laughable

except

its how we view the world

what are we

but dreams

caught

in

the

mirrors

of

 ourself ?

what are we

but dreams

caught

in

the

mirror

of

 ourselves ?

what are we

but dreams

caught

in

the

mirrors

of

 ourselves ?

rain on roof   —

eyes laden

delicious

unbending road, what do we say ?

existing because it can

constrained by possibility

strung between is and is not

curled within the vastness of inconceivability

enwrapt outside the universe

what do we say ?

ed.  a very old poem written when i was staying at the cambridge zen center in boston and righter than i knew

its the cycle from depression to mania that gives intellectual prowess and strength

religion is flypaper for hypocrites

the heavily tattooed

broadcast

their self injury

bad taste

lack of concern for their health

need for the appearance of criminal association

the fact they are idiots

paucity

allows

the gaps to

be filled

with

your

own wealth

the

results

are

mixed

there is a question over whether having more than three vaccines for covid has any benefit or is even  problematic

my own view is that a spacing of several months at least between these vaccines has always been important and now that the covid strains in circulation lack the virulence of the original, i will not be getting any beyond the two pfizer i have already had

also i think between my genes and vitamin D and MK7/K2 supplementation i don’t have a problem, in fact i don’t think i have ever had covid

couples

skin crossing its own boundaries

just

ideas

stitched together

and fall apart

and stitch together again

unbeknownst

to us

taurine

remedies

insomnia

and

migraine

a dreamless sleep

a period without memory

when it seems as if we were not

yet on waking

we can see we were

good poetry or writing is a simulation that somehow transcends the limitation of being a simulation ,  through quantum means it somehow becomes the actuality of being what it conveys

i suppose the same even applies to acting

lewis carroll

a mathematician

jumped the computational gap

making real worlds

where alice

roams

eternally

how is this done ?

i

don’t

know

but

even

alice

goes

in

circles

simu-worlds

computational necessity creates paucity

requiring

they

turn

in

returning

circles

human hands

really different

a marker

of

a unique

species

ed.  there’s something special about human hands, they are an evolutionary product, yet unearthily fragile, like something conjured up from elsewhere

chinese women are  absolutely obsessed  with status and wealth and bullying must be socially endemic, the undercurrent of malignant force must be expected in a dictatorship/ police state

look at anything long enough

and the holes and inconsistencies start to appear

and then shout

look at anything long enough

and the holes and inconsistencies start to appear

in the imagination

computation without limit

yields answers

physical reality

hasn’t thought of

scott aaronson  basically saying that any reality self limits the closeness of a simulation of it

so the pop culture meme of us living in the matrix is not true

we don’t and can’t

what can be thought

bounded by what cannot be thought

why

do

we

never

wonder

about

this ?

“ I was working at retail home improvement shop  (making slightly above minimum wage at two part time jobs). Customer came in and I was able to help her with several questions.  She mentioned she managed rentals, what a good business it was, and asked what my rent was.  I told her.  She then exclaimed my rent was way too low, the owner could be making much more AND THEN ASKED ME FOR CONTACT INFO FOR THE OWNER ”

“ This is why never you share financial details with people.  They will always look at the info from an angle that disadvantages you ”

what we call god

is

a field

not

a point

lewis

carroll

got

what

theologians

didn’t

alice

was

a traveller

god can’t exist

why ?

because

then

existence

can’t

exist

god can’t exist

why ?

because

then

existence

couldn’t

exist

photos of our dead

veneered with a beauty

of what can’t be said

“ Inner dialogue  —  any practical solutions to overcome looping on inner dialogue, in everyday life ?  Or how to stop rambling with own mind ? ”

this is the "brain default circuit" running and if you observe it, it shows your underlying take on things, it has consistent patterns

mine is so much rubbish usually

one of the problems with meditation is you can "over-engrave" it

old areas of weakness

once dealt with

uncover

new

areas

of

weakness

men of power

what they have wanted, gained and held

a spectrum of penalty and benefit to those they have power over

one of the better retreats i did was at the kopua cistercian monastery in new zealand, minimal cost, good food, decent sleep and they left you alone

an eye opener of sanity after my experience with the japanese craziness of zen "sesshins"

however my years of christian boarding schools had inoculated me against the doctrine, not an advantage everyone would have, its a painfully bought one

legal robbery ,  can’t say i have any sympathy for the funds "underwater on their investments"

its amazing what a pretty/handsome face and trendy clothing can do

at least  the journalist  was being somewhat honest despite the articles "puff" nature, its a show of what a nice lunch will buy in the way of publicity

its a pleasure to read such skill, the blend of puffery and honesty is so well done, marvellously mixed, the discerning reader can take the truth, the fools suck up the glitz

death

in

the

hall

of

splitting

light

is

a

cover

for

history

ed . a poem i wrote six years ago that i feel means something, but still don’t understand what

death

in

the

hall

of

splitting

light

a

cover

for

history

this world

carefully crafted

to not appear

an illusion

when

it

is

undercurrents

swing us out of our way

but

there

is

no

way

there’s lying by omission

and there’s truth by omission too

i would like to see the catholic church, that bastion of moralising sanctity, condemn the fetid demon who has an awful lot of blood on his hands  —  patriarch kirill  —  who heads the russian orthodox church

i am sure i will be waiting forever

its an interesting contrast, byzantine versus the roman church, historically there has not been a lot of love between them, essentially a geopolitical relationship obviated now by the decline of christianity

large language models are more than a human simulation, they fully feature us to a surprising degree including mental illness and false beliefs

the female universe

competition for bonding

they have

few concerns

outside of this

a death

that sinking feeling

what is gone

is gone forever

their absence

carries

us

with

them

“ Breaks can be mended ”

can shipwrecks be undone ?

the law of entropy is not favourable to this

not saying there can’t be some recovery, but "some" is a restriction of "full"

the deep grooves of our experience

wartime

trenches

to rise above the pattern

multiplicity

must be visited

in depth

“ the damage done by aggressive use of psychedelics is potentially not permanent ”

its permanent unfortunately, even only one use messes some

beginning and end

with a nice story inbetween

the way we are used to thinking

or would like things to be

however

it doesn’t correspond to reality

which is more

“ chop and change ”

rejection

the

hook

of

fatality

squared

complexity sinks

catch us

no way out

except

abstraction

tears

paltry markers

of the

sorrows

they

conceal

a mirror

will take

your size

and alice’s

beats falling down a rabbit hole

and telescoping

up and down

though this mode

feels more valid

“ just vent to Him ”

just vent to myself

him

god

the neighbour’s dog

the

latter

has

more

meaning

the russian orthodox church’s close association with putin and the russo-ukraine war makes for some post orwellian obscenity

i really don’t know how they reconcile it

calmer seas than can be

it takes storms

to wash up the useful debris

when the winds of insanity blow into prophecy

you know then

the

brain

is

fried

you’re another who talks to god and gets a reply ?

a certain emptiness

settles

clarity

comes

with it

activity obscures

with

its belief

in

itself

boltzmann

not in a vat

without a companion

searching everywhere

that searching

is the only companion

memory

the past encroaches on the future

taking

sadness

forwards

memory

the past encroaches on the future

taking

tears

forwards

the sea

despite the countless dead it has swallowed

only speaks

with its own voice

the gap

between parent

and child

is never

very large

no

matter

how

it

seems

melancholy

a taste too sweet

to

be

safe

drugs

alcohol

transitions too physical

to

be

of

any

merit

injury

wears

and cankers

i don’t know why we get caught up in this

but

we

do

good and evil

you don’t know what it is

life

constantly

inverts

its

values

commenter’s comment

decoupled

from

the

action

of

the

reality

the injury

of letting some-one you care for

hurt themselves

but

it

happens

schisms

lie

beneath

the surface

waiting

to

reappear

the past dissolves

as we move forward from it

into

what

we

don’t

know

time going backwards

folding up what was unfolding

this core of existence

unexisting what would have existed

part of the wonder

more to ponder

as we wander

what

occurs

or might have been

handsome

rich

except for this

the asian female

is

undemanding

stasis

an unvarying universe

inertia rules

even sadness decays

to nothing

endlessly on media

people suffering some health, personal, financial or other disaster

then dispensing advice on how to avoid it

like they knew ?

at the boundary

faery lands

faery people

its the

only

explanation

that

makes

sense

there’s something odd about acting and the people involved and i think its best conveyed by the phrase  blind mummers  which this tik tok seems to convey

a total plasticity of being precluding any great intellectuality, but all the same, interesting

round hay bales in the paddock

late afternoon sun

shadows make

giant commas

representations

are not

the thing itself

are

the

thing

itself

the rules of war

what meaning can this have

in the face of your own death

win, lose

you lost

yet we act

like something else matters

roads that go nowhere

and roads that go somewhere

both are necessary

and

both have their leaving points

to give advice is to try to predict the future

a man of sense doesn’t do that


as a child at boarding school we used to say the lord’s prayer before meals

its senselessness has always stayed with me, unresolved repetition, the insanity of adulthood, an echo of the medieval world and its remnant sounds

however  this version  rocks

what is it about process ?

the endless walking of steps

to no conclusion that can be defined ?

"the way" is a daoist idea and not a good one

killing their own men on the eastern ukrainian front and making up the population loss with immigrants, can’t the russians put two and two together ?

actually the current immigration crisis in europe has it origins in the decimations of WW1 and WW2

some things

so big and endless

the surprise

is

they

still

don’t

go

anywhere

when the short cut equals the long cut

then you have got it right

the conundrum

the other person is not you

but all you know of him

is not him but you

“ Why are people so boring ? ”

there’s some really interesting people on youtube

scott aaronson  for instance

statistically they are not going to be part of your personal life

intellectually, the people around you are not going to have that sort of interest

the self  -  referential

flip  -  flopping

on itself

taking meaninglessness

into meaninglessness

this way of idiots

is

so

prevalent

clarity never condenses

nonsense

does

simple explanations

contain the complex

yet without the complex

there would be

no

simple

religion

modifying the world

into

a

schizophrenic

fantasy

i love one

she doesn’t love me

another loves me

i don’t

love her

we three

a

dissonant

menagerie

i love one

he doesn’t love me

another loves me

i don’t

love him

we three

a

dissonant

menagerie

aging

the loss of experience dependent plasticity

the dried and shrivelled

become more dried and shrivelled

the boltzmann brain seems absurd to us

but it is only absurd by virtue of the world we have picked out to exist in

other perspectives define different probabilities

the young

burn brightly

and too quickly

the lower temperatures of age

have their point

this arbitrary cast

we are all thrown into

male and female

what is going on ?

this arbitrary cast

we are each thrown into

male and female

what is going on ?

why would mirrors face each other ?

the glass stops everything

infinite regress

is

not

the case

“ Do you think that leftism is more accepting of people with mental illness ? ”

stalin and mao were mentally ill

“ I would like to add a certain Austrian painter to the list ”

he wasn’t ill the way stalin and mao were, you can see it in the poetry mao wrote and stalin killing off his wife’s family, hitler in his own context was a much more normal man and actually quite liked on a personal level

you have to be on your toes when in hospital, i think there is an underlying problem in that they do things statistically, that is, in terms of the average or worst case which of course, is not you

this conflicts with what is optimal for your needs as an individual being a certain case and not an average or worst

i guess this also applies to public health advice as some unfortunates discovered with vaccine injury during 2020 the covid crisis

the entertainment industry

a large swirl of unemployable hoi polloi

around a paucity of creative talent

TV

the dumbed down

even

further

dumbed

down

the gideons seem to have a low opinion of travelling salesmen asking on the second page of the version of their eponymous bible that i happened to be reading

“ are you   .   .   .   alone, depressed, addicted, stressed, cheated on, experiencing conflict or temptation ,  considering suicide, curious ? ”

all quite reasonable questions for the travelling salesman i suppose, the problem one infers with cheating is it is ok to cheat but not to be cheated ?

to be fair, its about the only readable thing in a hotel room

it is clear reading ecclesiastes that the storyteller’s solomon is fictional, too many internal contradictions to be real, but rather is a peg to hang "wisdom literature" on

looking

finding

the proverbial snake still swallows you

ed.  ouroboros

looking finding

the proverbial snake still swallows you

the buddhist doctrine of the world being suffering is surprisingly similar to ecclesiastes chapter one

“ all things are full of weariness ”

i am one

who are you ?

reality conjugates

to create confusion

“ Anybody else writes comments  (often for 3-10 minutes)  then just deleting it instead of sending ?  ”

well, in fact you are gaining a lot by just writing ,  even if you don’t send it, helps straighten your thinking out

the trick to handling reddit is if you get downvoted then just say out loud to yourself "a downvote is an upvote" which it really is because of some of the cringy types who only know they disagree and can’t handle actually making a detailed criticism

i used to delete more when i first started, now i hardly ever do, writing comments is a skill that develops

because poetry is a lot of superimposed meanings, it is inherently quantum

therein lies real power

the morons complain they can’t understand

when that’s the whole point

james packer

lured  by the female physique

why doesn’t he look at his own ?

 inconsistency

leads

to

vulnerability

but fools

never care

 do they ?

digging your own grave

when all you need to do is die

and not worry about the rest

sanity and insanity have this in common

in their demise

both are empty

sanity and insanity have this in common

in the demise

both are empty

jonathan thomas writes

all it takes is seeing people as only being able to provide a certain amount of value and nothing more

i feel more at peace now

my  comment

well put

a symptom of watching too much K and C drama is i can now tell korean  (hangul)  from  chinese script

hangul, hands down is the "better" script, much more like english with its featural alphabet and created a different social dynamic with its ease of learning for commoners compared to the every difficult "idu" used by the aristocratic class

its interesting to consider how an arbitrary feature like the ease of learning and using a written language can have profound social ramifications since abstruse scripts require a professional class to implement them

wonderful music , but i feel for these performers with the huge oversupply of very good orchestral musicians now that it has become a sort of asian status symbol to work in this profession

all that focus on one instrument, a lifetime’s work and one really has to ask "for what ?"

this ad  apparently

i’m not a person who buys flowers, but yesterday on the way home i passed what i know to be a beautiful garden with old trees and they had a sign out saying flower bunches were available so i turned back and drove in really to take advantage of being able to look at their garden again

nobody was around and there were bunches of flowers on a table ranging in price from i seem to remember from $5? to $25, i bought a bunch for $15 that appealed to me with its vibrant red against white, purple and blue, then emptying the collection box of rainwater and putting the money in and going on to looking around their garden a bit

the flowers are now on my window table with a broad spectrum soluble fertiliser mixed in the water having had some success with this previously in making them last longer, so we will see how it goes

ed.  a week later, it has worked very well for most of the flowers which appear almost unchanged, but one variety has withered

the infinite drag of emotions

a disruptive brake

what is the point of carrying resentments

when day after day

you can be free of them

if meaning is a fluid

then you too are flowing water

hard to see

disjoint

feelings

an execution of sorts

the question of injustice doesn’t even arise

just

the

contemplation

of

absence

"layering" or multitracking is a revolution in music as fundamental as electronics and computer synthesis

you can see it here represented visually

the ukrainian folk song  carol of the bells

i think the problem is the virus is mutating so fast that the vaccine from an antibody point of view is useless and  the booster  is causing more problems than it is solving so a next generation vaccine that addresses a vulnerable substrate common to all covid variants is needed

the age of aquarius ,  its rare to come across a conductor  and choir  so obviously enjoying what they are singing, they are spanish, maybe a cultural difference too ?

this song is, of course the defining anthem of hippiedom and the new age movement

there’s more than the anglo world out there

brains in a vat are no longer  science fiction

“ A monk asked Dongshan   :   Someone who keeps the precepts isn’t at peace, and someone who breaks the precepts isn’t suffering

Why is that ? ”

my  comment

outward forms don’t constrain the inward

its a world of appearances and deception

often

self-deception

sincerity

mars

misaligned recursive

the fools try

never succeeding

strands of white beaches

ocean curls over the moon

death is the same as love

ed.  i wrote this decades ago near kalumburu in northern australia where there are very large tides

i was looking west out across napier broome bay towards the cape on the other side at dusk

there’s a lot of  new research  saying that being overweight is a disease state on multiple fronts and imo its a solvable problem for its victims to work through even though though bad epigenetics is a prominent cause

there is something to fat shaming

mañjuśrī is a loud mouth

even if he and vimalakīrti are both silent

they still get it wrong

not responding

he responds

wherein lies the fun ?

not responding

he responds

where lies the fun ?

the breaking of bonds

the forming of bonds

most of life

happens at these edges

of

being

“ According to the Śūrangama Sūtra, your mind comes from the void, resembling a cloud dotting the immense, clear sky ”

no mind

no void

clouds twist and rort

chat gpt is at sea with zen

a large language model means it is monotheistic

“ and for you andrew, is zen a polytheistic religion ? ”

see this is the problem, you, like most don’t accept that what zen is, is dependent on the context, it just a word with different meanings in different situations, a word in different stories basically

to answer your question about the story i have made for it, its not polytheism, but rather what the poem you have just replied to says

“ i accept that people use the word zen in different ways.  i use zen to mean the dharma of buddhas.  do you acknowledge that that is a real thing ? ”

the dharma of buddhas

that’s a rephrase of eihei dogen’s term "the buddha dharma"

i think that’s like asking "is god a thing" or saying there is an underlying ultimate reality

now this actually starts to synchronise with some or a lot of the dynasty chinese zen "stories" where what you have basically is the "masters" refuting what are essentially monotheistic viewpoints and really you can say that zen is simply this refutation or the process of looking at the question

“ I don’t think zen masters ever refute monotheistic viewpoints in particular.  But they certainly refute specific metaphysical viewpoints, and then metaphysics in general, and then all viewpoints ”

zen is deeply infused with christian ideas and its schismatic refutations because, at the time zen was being formed in china, christianity was also making significant inroads, so much so that it threatened existing power structures and consequently later was successfully suppressed

therefore it is to be expected that a refutation of monotheism is so much a theme in ch’an and of course you can generalise monotheism to other metaphysical viewpoints as you point out, however refutation has an inherently ambiguous relation to "annihilation" where you get into "absence is presence" conundrums

“ Why don’t zen masters mention Christianity or Christian beliefs in particular ? ”

chrisitanity was severely repressed rather like "gnosticism" by the version of christianity we know today, we only know gnosticism now through archeological recoveries of texts

zen has other influences of course like greek philosophy through the greco-bactrian kingdoms and the silk road

buddha is a story

the believers believe

everything

except

their

own

craziness

its pathetic the way ideologues and theologians argue over nonsense like it means something

what is the real problem with hypothetical questions ?

they segment the world in an unreal way

melodrama

constant

emotional

extremes

a sad fact of getting older  (ed.  50+)  is a noticeable proportion of your age peers starting to lose their mental sharpness or worse and in my view there’s a lot of pre-diabetes around

“ In conclusion, these findings provide novel evidence  for an association  between brain insulin signalling and late-life cognitive decline ”

i don’t have diabetes or pre-diabetes, but being of the view the road to them comes with age i take 100 mcg of chromium polynicotinate twice a day and i have a fasting glucose level of 4.8mmol/L which is significantly below average for my age, so maybe the chromium is helping with that ?

the other interesting result from my panel test was a P.S.A of .53 which is exceptionally low meaning i have no prospect of getting prostate cancer and that could be  attributable  to my taking 3000iu of vitamin D a day for many years now  (with 90mcg of MK7/K2)

you see studies come out saying that supplementation doesn’t improve the quality of health or increase life span, but when you look at the supplements they use there are a lot of flaws, i do think the correct supplementation which is going to vary individual to individual does offer the potential to wind the clock back a decade

another thing to watch is even moderate social drinking has a negative effect on later life health, it is a systemic poison, nor is exercise a panacea for all ills though in moderation, it has its place

as an afterthought i notice that people in general have dreadful trouble with accepting that their health and quality of older age can be dramatically improved by intelligent supplementation and attention to their diet, to the point of outright hostility

picked the season’s first raspberries today

of all the fruits i have eaten i think freshly picked raspberries have the highest antioxidant levels

when you follow the detail through, you can come up with surprising conclusions, often quite different to what the common consensus is, giving you a very strong edge in prediction

an example would be the october the 7th war between israel and hamas, that the real driver that made conflict of that scale inevitable was the increasing targeting sophistication of rocketry at a level implementable by hamas, that within five years hamas could have developed a "first strike" capability against israel

what takes you out is  your weakest link ,  not just for health and longevity, but psychological factors in life as well which in my case happens to be uneven "executive function" or in english "working on the right things", whatever "right " is

you are not separate from what you write

let it open like the nightflower

it will

you are not separate from what i write

let it open like the nightflower

it will

i came to the end and went past it

it wasn’t the same as the end

lesson learnt

slowly

and

.

.

.

completely

i came to the end and went past it

it wasn’t the same as the end

lesson learnt

slowly

and

.

.

.

incompletely

ambiguity

mixed feelings

clarity

only

exists

in

books

simple rules

to get through life

when looked at closely

are only half true

you can see how clever  and articulate  joni mitchell is, really a step above

it has always seemed to me that we age too quickly and don’t live long enough

there may be an  evolutionary reason  for this

stonewalling

is

a shut door

that won’t open

stonewalling

a shut door

that won’t open

the differences between women and men

in the whole world there’s no man with  cupboards  full of handbags and shoes

russian propaganda

its hard to get your head around

no-one says what they believe

swimming in

the deep current

of

repression

kapiti island

from raumati beach

mystic horizons

sea , land and sky

hathepsut

i find ancient egyptian history fascinating because its so different in terms of belief that it might as well be an alien world, yet the good preservation of its architecture, hieroglyphs and mummies make possible its reconstruction into our present reality for contrast

a dot in the span of ages

perspective

changes your views

why would you have opinions on what you obviously have no real life experience of ?

is it drink or drugs or just pure stupidity ?

you are spanning misquoting to fantasy to outright lying

a gold medal in the olympics for bullshit

going forwards

not all directions pay

backing out

pays

“ The lights are on

but nobody’s home

the man of distinction

cannot be found ”

my refutation

if nobody’s there

where can they be ?

misunderstanding

before

and

after

about thirty years ago i did a reasonable amount of actual "zen meditation"; roshis, sesshins, the whole gambit

its not something you will understand unless you do it and you really have to clock up some hours

basically its just sitting reasonably still  (a chair is fine, even standing or walking which the koreans do)  and letting the thoughts flow through your mind and observing that

the zen term is shikantaza

counting the breath, visualizations, guided meditation etc are all total idiocy

there are hazards, you want to move around every half hour or so to keep the circulation up, some people may find their mental difficulties are accentuated

“ Why idiocy ? They are just different methods ”

methods for what ?

i would even go so far as to say meditation was "instructionless"

women carrying handbags

that cumbersome badge of office

marie antoinette being the most prominent figure in the resistance to the revolution is the real reason she was executed, her husband was ineffectual

since the revolutionaries won, the view of her that has come down today is defined by their propaganda

a recreated  portrait

an amusing  short  if you have ever pondered the duality of this world and its representations and the egyptian afterlife

everything creeps

knowledge

age

the floor

the sky

like the red queen

we can’t judge

where

we

are going

calligraphy by  wang xizhi/youjun

supposedly china’s greatest calligrapher

some people have hard and fast boundaries

other’s amorphous

striking the right balance

is difficult

or not

possible

some people have hard and fast boundaries

other’s amorphous

striking the right balance

is difficult

or impossible

no-one deliberately makes a mistake they can see, therefore assertions of having made a mistake usually err on the glib side

biology exists in the form of knowledge in DNA

you can’t expect human behaviour to be different

“ dongshan said   :   the whole, great treasury of the teaching is only one word  —  "this" ”

洞山曰。一大藏教。祇是個之字。

i don’t think "this" is a correct translation or at least what was originally said which i would put as

the mode of the infinite dharma is one side then another

disagreeing with the terms

you obviate the need for reply

so much

time

here to waste

the secret with writing is do a lot and it will slowly develop

the female surety in the face of its own stupidity

maladaptive

trauma in the past

doesn’t stay there

but migrates to the present

PTSD

barbacue  versus  tomato sauce

this is what a relatively normal/ functional "manic"  episode  looks like

the continual intensity is what gives it away and of course must  (eventually?)  revert into its opposite

i do get episodes like this, but its pretty occasional and always is followed by a not fun at all migraine, a "prodrome" so to speak

a good  translation  of the poem written by pan yue about a year after his wife’s death

when your brain takes a holiday

not relaxing

but a journey confounding all you think essential

projections shattered

to drift closer to the cascades roar

then close to the edge

pull in to shore

having fulfilled

its own pilgrimage

at one stage i thought i was the most banned person on the internet and i still get posts removed and banning for what by objective measures are innocuous and harmless but what i figured is that even reading me some mods find too challenging, they get upset by what their brain has to go through just understanding what i write

my crowning glory is to be banned from r|poetry for being too poetic in style, and bizarrely, after some to and fro with the mod, it turned out he didn’t even like poetry and this is the major problem with message boards/ subreddits, people with stupid agendas tend to take them over or infiltrate, bossy people clueless about the subject; some competently moderated subreddits exist, but they are in the minority

the span varies from outright insanity to passable mediocrity with a certain utilitarianism and that’s the nature of the beast

there’s no such thing as nothing

we are always in a "something" world

the meaning of life

its that simple

grandeur, mystery, the sublime, reverence, awe

poppycock, drivel, blather, hogwash, balderdash

the truth of mood

seems right

but

it

can

be

wrong

something out of nothing

nothing complains

being

where

it doesn’t want to be

knowing less

and knowing more

this flux that changes

as we get older

where more retires

and less gets bolder

jigsaws with pieces that don’t fit

some or all lives ?

good writing has the ability to mean many things and should continually open up on looking and never be completely understandable

simple truths

the hardest to implement

because

they have

the

most

power

opinions about injustice

are not justice

wars

the commenters aren’t fighting

they are

talking

or

writing

occasionally i think about the difference between lyrics and the sort of poems/homilies that i write and there’s a difference in intellectual rigour and depth, that necessarily what i write has to have it and lyrics can’t have it

the japanese-american song writer mitski miyawaki talks about  the process  she went though writing  my love all mine  which has a degree of cross-over, its a song lyric bending a bit into poetry, very effective with the music, but intellectually not quite there, but if that depth was there it would no longer be effective as a lyric, the text would overwhelm the music, same as the careful balance of roma ryan’s lyrics with "enya’s" music now i think about it

a good cover ,  you can see how hard it is to make money out of music now, i bet this woman is not paying any royalty

baiyun duan case collection  (translated by suru)  number 49   :   dasui’s turtle

there was a turtle beside dasui’s hermitage

a monk asked  “ all sentient beings have their bones inside their skin  —  why do these have their skin inside their bones ? ”

the master picked up a straw sandal and placed it on the turtle’s back.  the monk had no reply

clearly the skin is wrapped around the bone

the intricately drawn divination symbols are worth seeing

he lifted a straw sandal and covered it

but dasui was still ridiculed by this monk.

my comment

inside out

from the outside in

the world

works like this

ed.  when i first looked at this, i couldn’t figure it out, came back about 8 hours later and discovered i could

i would take the straw sandal as a symbol of bodhidharma’s understanding

i don’t know how suru does it, but his translations seem to have the ability to "unlock" what is meant, whereas other translations have the opposite effect

narrative

within bounds

out of bounds

breaks the narrative

contrarian to the core

agreement is provisional

a stance that is justified

fairytale tropes

foreseeing the future

changes the past

that’s the hard one

backwardation

alternatives

slip back

to nothing

leaving

being

you’re gullible

a mouse surrounded by cats

accepting the claw marks

as

normal

“ I  (F23)  am  a severe alcoholic  and I’ve accepted this will kill me one day ”

you want to reduce the amount over several weeks, keep a drinking diary

ed.  likewise with smoking, going cold turkey is too traumatic, tapering down has to be the way to go and also teaches control and recovery for the inevitable "falling off the wagon"

“ everything at once ”

what does that mean ?

30 years and i still can’t tell you

likeness is and isn’t identity

“ perception is controlled hallucination ”

listen  to the "sinewave speech" version, then the original, then the sinewave speech again

andy clark "on form" and robert kuhn in familiar territory makes for  a good interview

the brain

conscious and unconscious

what emerges from one

to flow into the other

ideas about ideas

endless inversions and loops

involutions dominate

the

flux

of

meaninglessness

a poem

the onus

is on the reader

to make

sense

of

it

poems

the onus

is on the reader

to make

sense

of

them

the lock of ourselves

pick

and the tumblers occasionally align

and the door opens

take the time to walk through

the simplicity of parallelism

life’s repeating patterns

across people

one wonders

and is

amazed

to see others

and

the

a similar form

in

oneself

karl friston’s notion of  free energy  is a fundamental shakeup of the way we view the world, the brain is not simply observing, but is an active inference machine interacting with externals to gain increasingly fine grained and more sophisticated estimates of how they work

i have known about this for years, but notice its get an increasing presence in intellectual life and hopefully it will have an positive effect on that trauma known as education which is based on the antiquated observational model rather than interactive exploration and modification

100-150 mcg daily of the thorne selenomethionine is an assist for dry eyes

the science is that selenium downregulates inflammation in the cornea so helping preserve the tear layer

be cautious, don’t overdo the dose

what needs to be made explicit

what carries best under its own weight

silently speaking

for the cognoscenti to hear

the dull circle of what we know

changes of itself

into what we don’t know

the world is more open than we think it is

likeness can be identity

 why be surprised ?

the difference

between

what can occur

and

can’t

is obviated

likeness can be identity

 why be surprised ?

the difference

between

what can occur

and

can’t

is obliviated

little fictional worlds

where the prince marries the princess and everyone lives happily ever after

cathartic

for

its

factual

cruelty

the world on repeat

sometimes it seems that way

i make it that way

loss

tears for absence

whatever

the cause

what

is

beyond

remedy

gaza is an enclave, enclaves don’t start wars and win

love sours

palpable hurt

you and the universe

bleed together

love sours

palpable hurt

blood covers the universe

it

is

yours

its interesting to consider how much further chat GPT can go and what its intrinsic limitations might be, whether it can be smarter than the text it makes its inferences from ?

an inheritance

not from generation to generation

but across the spheres

of illuminance

of

centuries

how the brain works in terms of the "free energy" principle

karl friston explains  like you are five

a good/ well written film or story inducts constant believable "predictive" failure on the readers or viewers part

its the mechanism to keep you reading or viewing

suspense

inconsistency

the opener

of worm cans

that

hardly

bear

looking into

c-drama is the real china

its hard to find a culture more fixated on status and material wealth with an undertow of irrational violence

the CCP can’t be what it claims to be

neck  stretches  that work

propaganda

is what happens

when you deny

criticism

the distant view

a look backwards

feelings mild

the tempest has subsided

outcomes in hindsight

a

mixed

bag

blurring correct and incorrect

the context

defines

blurring correct and incorrect

the context

defines

each

false

and true

even empty representations

may be

false

and true

a pearl

peach blossom

a branch of plum flower

the last two

evanescent

the first

remains

for

you

to

discover

beauty

and

sorrow

are coupled

together

one

the other

reveals

liminal space

our worlds

other worlds

and ourselves

somewhere

in between

liminal space

our worlds

other worlds

and ourselves

somewhere

between

unreal worlds

more pleasant and persistent than this one

when the dice are thrown

choose one or the other

one of the problems of understanding stalin’s rule is it was often more fatal to be a communist than anyone else, but if you look at the soviet union as a state ruled by CHEKA and then the KGB who were constantly asserting their authority over the bolsheviks and other ideologically driven power blocks, it makes sense, you have to remember that stalin himself was executed by beria

if you extend that to the FSB today and the killing or imprisonment of competitors to the FSB proxy, putin, this thesis ,  that yuri felshtinsky puts forwards warrants consideration and makes certain predictions about the future of russia

a scenario for putin’s downfall is the same as the fate of stalin, execution disguised as a natural death should crimea be lost or the casualty rate lose public acceptance

two quotes by philip larkin

“ i try the door of where i used to live

locked ”

“ what mainly worries me if you will excuse me speaking of my own affairs for the moment is a strengthening suspicion that in my character there is an antipathy between art and life

i find that once i give in to another person as i have given in, not in voluntarily, but almost completely  to ruth

there is a slackening and dulling of the peculiar artistic fibers that makes it impossible to achieve that mental clenching that crystalizes a pattern and keeps it still while you draw it ”

solve the superposition

all things at once

waving amplitudes

reduce to nonce

the primordial experience

everything inverts

backwardation

the many goes to none

and none goes to many

i don’t know how else to explain it

k-drama

c-drama

a glitzy surface

with nothing underneath

the great wall of china makes a lot more sense if you realise its purpose in conjunction with the terrain was to stop horses rather than men

a rather fun thing to do  is draw  the chinese character then search to see what it means

for the first time in my life i have written in chinese, my crude efforts showed me why calligraphy is such a big deal in countries that use ideograms

schizophrenia is basically ending up with false beliefs about how the world works and acting on them

i often use the term in my writing in a more general sense to include false beliefs that are the product of a normally functioning brain, both idiosyncratic and cultural

similarly with "normal" and disease states of the brain, in the abstract the result is the same, fundamental misalignments that mean we are all acquainted on a personal level with schizophrenia and its results

life’s metas

a trap

of

accuracy and inaccuracy

dreams

the function of life

in death

against the vast backdrop

philip larkin was so afraid of

i don’t yet feel its inevitability

maybe one day i will

and staring into nothingness

will finally cease

when you injure those closest to you

don’t expect not to get hurt

fragments

persisting in our minds

hidden seams

binding

our illusory

world

once  dai kensho  happens it leaves its mark on you and actually strands you in a netherworld

“ You mention this now and then in your posts.  I always get a little confused because some people talk about it as if it were a state you reach and reside in. Yet there are people that describe their experience as a glimpse

The few that experience a taste, long for more   .   .   .  I remember a v-log with Brad Warner where he described someone that had experienced it but the experience left them as a shell of a person ”

my  reply

its not really a glimpse, its a journey, you have been somewhere and come back

the journey changes you and i guess not everyone comes back safely, a bit like pilgrim’s progress ?

an

incremental

understanding

develops

each step

one at a time

opens up the view

which keeps

widening

without

end

i would say teresa of avila suffered from  cataleptic  /epileptic seizures and these necessitated careful management of them as "agitprop" for the catholic church to avoid what could have very negative consequences for her

the eye of the needle

the hole everything goes through

and comes out of

to go through again

the eye of the needle

the hole everything goes through

and comes out

to go through again

“ How does the needle with the eye pass through ? ”

not knowing the needle

not knowing the eye

they ramble on

in

meaninglessness

a lifetime stretches out

developmentally

one day is different from the next

and the same

we need to differentiate

the beginning

from the end

i don’t like "agreeing to disagree" because at the root there are conflicts in shared knowledge that must inevitably surface in other areas to create friction

of course a lot of our life dealings are burdened by this penal yoke

scott aaronson  on aumann’s agreement theorem

“ years ago i watched a documentary episode that interviewed a mother who survived the holodomor

she described a "sophie’s choice" when a trader offered her some beetroot in exchange for her daughter

she refused and bartered some belongings for a small portion

when the trader had gone her emaciated son crawled naked from beneath the stove and begged for some of the food

his mother told him that there was only enough for the most likely to survive child, the daughter/sister

with "tears as big as peas" he begged then crawled back beneath the stove and did not emerge again ”

ed.  a comment on a youtube video, i have come across some over the years that you could hardly imagine

one that sticks with me from the early days of the internet is of a man as who a child saw his father shot before his eyes by two thugs in the teamster’s union, i assume it was some internal politically motivated assassination

robert spencer  interviewed  on the question of whether muhammad existed or not

for myself i weep

life’s failings through me seep

feelings rendered asunder

ripped by life’s thunder

cleaved to the bone like this

is it any wonder

to take life amiss

what we ever learn

love is not without conditions

violate them

and expect to be cast out

its interesting to think that the william/ kate and harry/megan rift would in earlier times have developed into factions that would then have gone to war with each other, the main difference being that megan would likely have been continental royalty

there’s some pretty good examples in english history for this

affronted

they keep the door shut

punishing themselves

affronted

she keeps the door shut

punishing herself

affronted

he keeps the door shut

punishing himself

in war

there is no right or wrong

just success or failure

and

the dead and injured

of course

people claim nagarjuna says this and that, but i would like to see a literal translation of the source before commenting on what he supposedly said

that there is "no foundation", but rather a web of cross dependencies is a philosophical position gaining some currency in certain quarters now and i suppose that would reflect nagarjuna’s view

mirrors

repetitions

our lives

seeking patterns

that are already there

the perception of beyond

neither a thing nor no-thing

what cannot be conveyed

has nobody to convey it to

like jesus, buddha is a fictional character so the "teachings" likewise have to be fictional and in my experience, a confused waste of time

the origins of buddhism are substantially in greek philosophy so buddhism is, in a sense a migration of that philosophy into a religion, lol "with indian characteristics"

i’ve got more objective as i have got older, i just look at what occurs, usually there’s a reason however little one may agree with it

out of love

that reluctance to enter into it again

all the travail

in

that

different

state

a chinese  historical drama ,  a bit raw for western tastes in the equivalent audience i think, however its good cinema and the chinese do have a different perspective on suicide as a way to protest

possibly "triggering",  the series is called  faithful

de rigueur for these actors and actresses is to have plastic surgery to create a creased, somewhat european eyelid, raised nose and often narrowed jaw line making for a "hybrid" racial appearance distanced from ethnic identity that has no correlate in nature

lysander  :

helen, to you our minds we will unfold

tomorrow night when phoebe doth behold

her silver visage in the watery glass

decking with liquid pearl the bladed grass

(a time that lovers’ flights doth still conceal)

through athens’ gates have we devised to steal

a midsummer night’s dream, act 1, scene 1

sir henry neville at his best, i know nothing else in english with a comparable synthesis of imagery, and fluidity of sound

midsummer night’s dream and the tempest are written by the same man with some souring of life between

knowing something

forwards and backwards

backwards and forwards

only then

you can understand

sometimes i dream of being "normal"

i look for it

but its not for me

all those shifting references points of other people

too hard a problem

to solve

sometimes i dream of being "normal"

i look for it

but its not for me

all those shifting reference points of other people

too hard a problem

for me to solve

life’s understanding

not delivered in a seamless line of HD

rather a complex involution of discovery

clashing shards

that

sometimes

fit

life’s understanding

not delivered in a seamless line of full clarity

rather a complex involution of discovery

clashing shards

that

sometimes

fit

together

styrofoam  cups are out, the research is continuing to show nanoplastics as a significant health hazard

the absent

one way or another

never came into being

or being and now gone

we can only wonder

the absent

one way or another

never came into being

or being and pre-naturally departed

we can only wonder

truth is a part of falsity

and falsity a part of truth

philosophers may argue

but are confounded

as which is what of what they say

possible

probable

improbable

actual

let me

count-the-factual

the hard road is not necessarily the right one, nor is the easy road necessarily wrong

mimicry

creates beautiful butterflies

what do those iridescent shimmers mean ?

none knows

male and female

1 plus 2

the whole world revolves on this sum

not knowing

its incomplete

the divorced

separated

parentless

half parented

socially traumatised

poor nutrition

cultural insanities

imbibed like food

failed education

what crosses the generations

today’s ills

the bitter-sweetness of inadequacy

the lives of fridges, freezers and washing machines  (anything with a motor in ) are noticeably extended if levelled so the wear on the bearings is evenly distributed

facelifts

botox

body modification

the media

and entertainment landscape

has changed

irrevocably

and

become

even

more

unreal

the tattooed

all

in

denial

about

their

problem

the

uglification

of

their

skin

poetesses

all a bit mad

the female constriction of view

i have hit the jackpot,   a  remastered video  from around 1915 showing what i take to be a buddhist ceremony in beijing

the incense sticks might mean that a favour is being asked of whatever deity

buddhism is a culture, not a philosophical abstraction which is how it is commonly presented in the west

a remastered  street scene  in beijing in the 1930s, the towering building is either the eastern or western "flower" gate into forbidden city, already looking a bit decrepit following the abdication of the  last qing emperor  in 1912

puyi was obviously incompetent for the job and a good example of what happens in hereditary hierarchical governmental systems, interestingly, there was always an element of choice over who was emperor over the millennia of dynastic china ensuring a degree of competency, but for some reason this never happened in the last stages of the chinese and russian empires and directly led to their collapse and consequent travail


the key to the lock

unfolds the key

unfolds the lock

the wine shop  (1909) is a painting i really like, i’m not sure  edward hopper  ever made a more evocative one, , a blend of art nouveaux, impressionism and surrealism

a while back, i had a panel of medical tests done and on the basis of an LDL figure that he never gave me, the doctor suggested i take a statin

i’ve been following the story on statins a bit since then and to me its a resounding NO as to taking them due to many side effects and what would be the problem to fix anyway?, my health is very good, i have the blood pressure of an adolescent and can run 100m in 24 seconds

one comes across so many people proxying their entire judgment to a doctor or specialist to their detriment

my view now is its reasonable for a doctor to expect you to intensively research whatever health problem and medications, but how many do this ?

there’s hundreds of millions of dollars of high quality research on the web, why not take advantage of them ?

the secret to reading a study is not expect to understand it at first but keep coming back and what its saying will fall into place as a rule the university medical teaching is ten years behind the latest understanding

infallibility

fallibilities claim

backed

by

the

force

of ignorance

infallibility

fallibilities claim

backed

by

force

a belief in witches is not harmless, historically in western culture and today in some regions of africa it is/was used as an excuse to kill women, often cruelly

if you think some-one is a witch, you want to think about the consequences of any sort of action based on the belief

if you find yourself or another being defensive, try to work out what is being defended

telling

the noise of the human head

trying to

impose

its views

a monk asked zhaozhou   :   the countless things return to one  —  where does one return to ?

zhaozhou replied   :   when this old monk was in qingzhou, he made a cloth shirt that weighed seven pounds

my comment

the weight of a shirt too heavy to bear

the monk struggles to add stones to the pockets

the devil

god

witches

mutations of a reality

that is much more prosaic

“ Yet it’s very much a thing ”

you are not testing your hypotheses

witches belong to macbeth and the devil to zoroastrianism and paradise lost

god is an ontological construct charmed into existence by "likeness to god" and you of course imagining yourself to be "like god" are plagued by the opposite extreme, the "unlike god"

a misunderstood zen koan

a monk asked zhaozhou   :   i have recently entered the monastery   —   teacher, could you please give me guidance ?

zhaozhou asked   :   have you finished eating your porridge or not ?

the monk replied   :   yes, i’ve finished eating

zhaozhou replied   :   then go and wash your bowl

the monk suddenly understood awareness

the last line is wrong, in my view the intended sense is

“ the monk understood he had to do his own work ”

“ Only 3 lines ? ”

three lines

cross the universe

with each step