this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don’t warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here



pending poems  index



chronological order is from the bottom to the top of  the page



audio files can be complemented by listening to them with the eyes closed



the

most


talented


don't


necessarily


win


in


fact


they


necessarily


 lose !



its


part


of


being


the


most


 talented

am


i


a


fake


or


am


i


the


real


thing ?



the


real


thing !

single


is


NOT


a


single


god !

politics


men


and


lives


are


moved


around


like


pawns !

sir


henry


neville


was


one


of


the


all


time


great


polymaths


like


leonardo


da


vinci !

you


can't


expect


to


know


things


from


just


having


attitudes !


why


do


i


think


of


today's


youth


as


i


write


this

a very good  interview  in part with brenda james, discoverer of henry neville's authorship of shakespeare


its actually tremendously exciting, the process of breaking the code in the sonnets dedication



but


you


know


people


want


rubbish


the


da


vinci


code


and


like !


did you know shakespeare’s parents and children were illiterate !


he was not known to have written any letters or anything else except supposedly the plays?


it all over bar the shouting !


why it's important is that it gives you a wrong view of life if you think that shakespeare wrote shakespeare and once you can relate sir henry neville and his life and interests to the plays and poetry, they all become much richer


you really get a wrong idea of life, that some-one can just sit down and write anything



well


they


can't !



as for those frauds in the university english departments ...........................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



it's


really


weird


like


a


secret


you


know


and


no-


one


else


knows !

good works


i


am


a


good


work !

you


can't


be


too


negative


on


your


parents


after


all


they


are


you !

just because it's wrong


doesn't


make


it


wrong


just


because


it's


right


doesn't


make


it


right !

life's


a


funny


animal


because


i


am


a

funny


animal !

what


kim


jong-il


has


done


for

14


years


is


give


the


world



a very


good


indication


that


communism


doesn't


work !

when


a


man


starts


to


understand


his


mother

a

s


a


person


the


scales


are


half


way


to


falling


from


his


eyes

janet


frame's


words


falling


from


the


sky


infinity


made


finite


at

a


price

once


you


were


missed


out

the


relief


from


being


 where ?

every


generation


is


different !

humans


and


food


is


indeterminate

there


is


something


about


clean


pajamas



clean


pajamas


more


restful


than


the


sky

dreamlike


death


and


dream  —  


like


life

if


i


ever


make


any


money


at


anything


please


let


me


know !

things


go


forward


and


they


go


back


and


they


go


forward


again ?

akiane


has


a


strong


mystical


bent


a


synchronicity


with


infinity

suicide


no


eternal


blankness


or


absence


of


me


it


just


can't


be


modelled !

as i get older i understand women more


intractable

yeah


you


gotta


be


broken


all


your


life


to


understand


it !

the


idea


that


christ


is


a


person


is


wrong !

we


spend


our


lives


learning


that


one


there


are


moments


of


infinity


but


to


expect


continuity


of


that


in a


person


is


too


much !

another


day


everything


just


limps


on


half


done


quarter


done


as


usual


its


odd


how


you


can


see


in


a


sibling


an


ultra


clear


characteristic


of


a


parent !

springwater


toni


packer


for


whatever


reason


i


have


drifted


away

bukowski


is


un-


mad


ungerman


and


not

a


gnome

the


value


of


leaving


a


problem


unfinished


you

wait


for


the


opportunity


for


correction !

mr. tolle

is a

mad


german


gnome

ed.  says a lot about his followers doesn’t it ?

i


looked


across



at


the


sloping


corrugated


iron


roof


of

the


hayshed


rusted


brown


and


zinc


grey


in the half light of late evening


for


a


moment


i


thought


it


was


writing


trying


to


tell


me


something


it


still


looks


like


that


but


has


no


meaning


that


i

can


decipher

the photo was taken at a later date, i don't think it quite captures the original scene which i remember as more misty

i do have a reservation about mixing photos and poetry whether it inteferes with the vision the reader has with their own imagery which is more real to them to them and perhaps better synchronised with the sense

there's


no


certainty


with


anything


is


there ?

it's


a


disservice


if


it's


wrong


it's


a


service


if


it's


right !

getting


old


is


about


the


only


thing


in


life


that


makes


sense !


oh


and


dying !

humans are constitutionally schizophrenic


about health

a video of james  shapiro  talking about shakespeare writing shakespeare


unfortunately he’s just typical of the trash that passes for academic writers these days


look at him, dead face, dead diction, dead brain !


there’s a fundamental point about shakespeare writing shakespeare, from his background it's too inventive and has too much correct detail on matters he had no personal contact with for even a genius


sir henry  neville   fits soo much better, its literally his life right down to him sending cannons to denmark !


there's something about academics in the arts, very very inverted about it all !


shakespeare's works were written by an aristocrat highly politically involved in english court life at that time


why does the writer of shakespeare's works like italy so much ?


sir henry neville took a trip through northern italy to the adriatic while ambassador to france.


why did his cousin sir robert cecil complain to him about the cost of amount of paper he was using as ambassador to france ?


he was worried about what he was writing !


the top nobs in england knew who really wrote shakepespears works, it wasn't shakespeare but sir henry neville that was imprisioned after richard II !!, an anti-tudor play that came out just before the essex rebellion !


if


you have been to shakespeare's house it's obvious he never wrote the works purported to him !


sir


henry


nevill


had


every


reason


to


be


secretive

his


grandfather


was


executed


and


sir

henry


effectively


wrote


poems


glorifying


the


opposition and denigrating the


tudors


he


feared


for


the

safety


of

his


own


children


and


organised


a


conspiracy


including


poet


ben


jonson


to maintain the fiction which they continued after his death

it is a mistake to try to shoot mosquitos when there's an elephant in the room

for


a


message


board


it's

better


to


just


have

a


few


people



you


get


to


know


rather


than


a


noisy


rabble !

i


don't


have


to


be


down


and


out


i


am


down


and


out

the


point


about


religion


i


would


ask


is


if


it


is


any


better


than


life


in


terms


of


what


it's


about


or


even


worse ?

the


problem


with


academics


is


they


really


have


an


inverted


sense


of


what


is


good


poetry !

to


the


correction


gang


i


have

a

life


of


my


own


i


may


not


look


nice


or


i


may


b


pretty


i


may


fart


or


give


a


heavenly


odour


the


main


thing


is


i


am


what


i


am


so


please


leave


me


alone !

a


poem


is


an


odd


thing


it's


neither


of


language


or


sense


or


nonsense


or


anything ?

i was thinking how elizabeth bishop would explain to the "facts corrections" employees of the new yorker that a poem is not necessarily mean to be factual

people


often


get


a


break


but


you


need


to


step


carefully


after


the


break


to


get


clear

we


all


waste


life


in


different


ways


just


don't


make


me


waste


it


your


way


as


well


as


mine

 literally i find life so difficult i could just cry


all


day


and


   night !

i


am


afraid


to


say


with


cats


it's


all


about


food


it


is


not


about


affection

ed. more expereince with cats has taught me they do bond, but prioritise their own survival being a physically fragile animal

half


the


art


of


life


is


to


make


changes


of


direction


when


you


need


to !


the


other


half


.



.




.




.





.







.

when


you


are


feeling


good


everything


is


different


when


you


are


not


it's


not

when

there


is


no


happiness


unhappiness


is


life


seen


truely

we


are


all


sitting


on


top


of


a


fine


grained


microscale


we


have


no


idea


of

the human taste for crap is endless

well


he


loves


himself


and


others


love


him


but


i


don't

NO


he's


not


  ECKHART !

one


of


the


problems


the


gurus


have


unlike


me


who


talks


into


nothing


and


no-


one


listens


is


they


deal


with


too


many


people


and


this


seems


to


leave


them


permanently


confused

the difference between chernobyl and japan/fukushima



  i really like  busby,  he gives quite a different perspective !


depeleted uranium shells sound really bad news


as does high uramium hair levels


anyway chernobyl was an explosion of the actual reactor that went 2km high into the air and the radioactive particles got deposited over half europe depending on the winds at the time


if you have read the account of what happened it's like a farce, everybody at the plant on holiday except two engineers just out of university getting things wrong in an experiment and then shutting down the core which exploded the reactor because the fundamental physics was wrong at the design level !


in japan there has been no such explosion of the reactor and mostly the winds have gone out to sea and radioactive particles gone into seawater



the


effect


is


much


more


local

the


only


thing


you


take


with


you


when


you


leave

a


job


or


cult


is


the


skills


and


experience


you


picked


up


while


being


there


hopefully


you


have


suffered


no


health


decrement


suffering

a


health


decrement


is


often


the


case

the


problem


with


medication


whether


self


or


otherwise


is


side effects

i


wonder


if


anorexia


is


really


anorexia


or


really


a


circumlocutory


method


of


suicide ?

my


philosophy


of


life


every


day


is


armageddon

america


is


full


of


nutters

who


want


to


kill


you


if


you


upset


some


pet


idea


they


have


you


don't


have


to


worry


about


morality


if


you


aren't


in


a


position


to


effect


changes


or


reverse


wrongs !

  “ whereas the association between normal-tension open-angle glaucoma and low diastolic perfusion pressure was inverted. ”


study


typical medical invertese. i once came across something like this when a doctor at monash in a newpaper article said that 1 out of 5 people on warfarin don't eventually die from clots


what he was saying is that 4 out of 5 people on warfarin die from clots!


you can see why he said it backwards !


so translating


“ in people with systemic hypertension, normal-tension open-angle glaucoma is associated with a high pressure difference between the ocular eye pressure and the diastolic blood pressure ”


which is what you would expect, decreased membrane permeability adversely inducting damage to the optic nerves !


fish oil can improve membrane permeability


trans fats would have an inverted effect

you


know


what


psychosis


is


and


schizophrenia ?


they


are


people


comfortable


with


wrong


beliefs

jehovah's


witnesses


i


think


it's


always


disturbing


for


outsiders


to


come


across


it's


complete


self


assured


insanity


which


is


actually


what


insanity


is


maybe


it's


just


a


society


of


self


protection


for


schizophrenics !

feeling


sorry


for


myself


i


do


and


don't


indulgent


and


not


self

-


indulgent

jehovah's


witnesses


it's


self


injury


to


talk


to


them !

go


up


to


loongana


and


see


the


apple


trees


there


that's


armgageddon


my


life


is


armageddon


and


your's


is


too !

i


want


to


do


something


significant


like


fix


the


chainsaw


instead


the


moon


and


valley


mists


call


to


me !

jehovah's


witnesses


you


are


all


on


the


drug


of


conformity


abetted


by


stupidity !

an idea


for


a


picture

jesus's


face


with

a


disfiguring


skin


disease


with

a


can


of


hair


spray beside


it


and


maybe

a


picture


of


a


“ hairspray ”


jesus


in


the


background

jehovah's


witnesses


it's


this


whole


concept


of


lying


even


though


they


believe


what


they


say


is


true


it's


not


so


they


are


still


lying !

jehovah's


witnesses


you


don't


need


the


world


to


be


armageddon


it


is


armageddon


already !

context


something


means


something


because


of


what


has


gone


before !

the


flu


and


colds


are


to


tasmania


as


fleas


are


to


cats


and


dogs !

is


there


an


afterlife ?


no


is


there


this


life ?


somewhat

54 +


all


the


wonders


of


thickening


blood


continual


migraine


glaucoma


scotomas !

good


script


theme


some-


one


who


reflects


people


as


they


are


and


gets


killed


for


it !

you


may


as



well


put


it


on


the


web


it


takes


20


or


30


years


to


develop


an


audience !

the


duckling


born


in


winter

shugen


don't


you


get


tired


of


spouting


such


crap ?

just


living



a


while


over


the


years


making


a


few


comparisons


with


some


continuity


gives

a


different


perspective


people


come


and


go


the


model


continues


that


sort


of


thing !

the


suppression


of


artistic


freedom


is


the

most


fundamental


indication


of

a


closed


society !

a


fair


portion


of


men


who


go


blind


must


kill


themselves !

if


the


chinese

government


is


banning


the


making of films


of


dream


of


red


mansions


it


has


lost


the


plot !


Cao Xueqin


must be tickled


pink


to


be


so


“ protected ”


after


all


these


years


those


goverment


mandarins


are


not


worth


the


tip


of


his


little


finger !


disrespectful


in


the


extreme !


signs


the


present


regime


is


failing


i


am


afraid !


well


not


afraid

like


a


teatowel


falling


to


the


ground


everything


pulls


us


down


towards


death

what


am


i


defined


off?


nothing


except


me


adviata


zen


charismatic


christianity


springwater


they



are



all


wrong


from


the


outset


being


defined


off


something


external


to


them !

it's


a


mistake


to


define


yourself


off


some-


one


or


anything


else !

there's


a


bit


of


an


art


to


letting


things


decay


gracefully !

you


can


see


something


but


don't


act


on


or


believe


it !


very


expensive !

am


i


out


of


touch ?


i


don’t


even


know


what


an


ipod is ?

the point of autism is to be dropped into god's lap


most jump out if they can

i


have


enough


of


life's


ironies


to


keep


me


going


forever !

it's


all


utterly


insane


living


is


nothing


real !


i


am


mad


you


are


mad

chinese


politics


all


makes


sense


when


you


see


how


well


mao


tse


tung


lived


young


women


palaces


fine

food


and


wine


it's


all


the


usual


“ i 


am


the

absolute

ruler ”


thing

all


that


work


for


what?


some -


one


to


say


some


nice


words


at


your


funeral ?


P S H A W W ................

as


you


are


born


so


you


have


to


strive

people


can


copy


one


or


two


ideas


or


works


but


what


they


can't


do


is


copy


the


great


mass


and


profusion


of


ideas


and


works


which


is


why


writers


who


write


very


little


don't


really


persist


long


term

spider


wasp


bites


are


mummifying


white


tail

spider


bites


are


possibily necrotizing and digestive


with


enzymes


a


large


round


red


circle


with


a crusty


center

i


honestly


feel


the


arts


education


system


has


become


so


bad


you


have


to


unlearn


all


you


have


learnt


to


make


any


progress

eileen writes:



I've realised it has a typo and should read “now you turn your back” not “turned your back”



my reply



there's a number of variances from “orthodox” english is that  poem


sometimes you have to look at whether it's really infinity speaking and that's how the poem should be


villen is phonetic spelling for villain, i prefer your phonetic spelling as it also femininses villain


women for woman the “en” on women ties in with villen


i prefer “turned your back”, sorta shifts the time sense


james joyce used to do this sort of thing, it's considered very advanced writing !


basically you have written that poem is several layers !



do


you


see


how


i


have


used


“ is ”


there ?



andrew writes:



it's dissonant , but sometimes that is better


i think you will find “woman” doesn't fit either !




eileen replies :



i'll have a think about that


actually u could well b right cos the word women was resounding in my head like a swear word Lol


bloody andrew bloody women type of thing Lol


or more like damn him for lumping me in with the other bloody women

bringing


a


woman


to


heel


harder


than

a


dog


of


course


women


do


it


to


men


all


the


time

i


think


a


scotoma


is


an


artifact

of


a


degenerative


process


in


the


retina,


retinal


ganglion


cells


or


optic nerves !

another super  geriatric


91


“At 85 I had a crisis. I looked in the mirror, and saw an old man. I was overweight, my posture was terrible and there was skin hanging off me. I looked a wreck..”


disgusting !


interestingly he was a dentist


i really may have to do exercise to help keep me away from glaucoma



it's


a

frightening


thing


to

wake


up


in


the


morning


with


visual


scotomas


from


overnight


high


ocular


pressure

the


sheer


fatigue


of


keeping


alive !

you


don't


just

lie


down


and


die


from


old


age


you


start


to


break


down


in


bits


and


pieces


from


30


on



and especially


from


50


on!


death


is


exponentially


inevitable !

it's


better


to


be


publically


conforming


and


privately


non-conforming !


women


are


experts


at


this !

Humans


are


blind


ants


ceaselessly


shoring


up


nests


reality


is


pulling


apart !

charlie


sheen


one


woman


will

kill


you


two


women


will

bury


you


actually


i


think


he


buries


himself !

why


is


it


so


difficult


to


figure


out


how


things


are


?



i


don't


have


any


kids


a


half


off


half


on


girlfriend


the


answer is


your


brain


is


designed


to


raise


and


feed


kids


regardless


of


whether


you


have


any

if


you


buy


a


new


car


within


3


months


it's


no


longer


new



if


you


buy


a


used


car


10


years


later


if


its


still


around


its


still


used

zen


is


like


scientology


completely


absolutely


raving


nuts

i


don't


actually


agree


with


hofstadter


he's


another


fuckwit

john donne


too

much


of


men


that


was


his


problem

“ no 


man


is


an


 island ”

“ everyman 


is


an


 island ”

john


donne


was


wrong

it's


like


having


kids


together

you


can't


really


unwrap

a


complete


misfit


in


life


a


complete


misfit


in


love


you


must


have


noticed

glaucoma


you


can


pretend


it's


not


happening


but


it's


happening


all


right

the


world


is


wrong


and


infinity


is


an


indictment


of


the


world

i


can't


see


what


i'm


doing


half


the


time


until


i


do


it

it's


hard


to


understand


about


mediocrity


it's


not


just


an


inability


to


reach


but


a


conscious


rejection


of


what


extends


them

how


bleak


things


look


when


the


feel -


good


portion


of


the


brain


is


missing


i'm


too


smart


to


get


involved


in


something


like


that


too


old


too


jaded


too


cynical


too


tired

john


loori


you


got


married


again to


a


woman 30?


years


your


junior !


bit


of


bad


luck


running


into


a


woman


like


that

the


attitude


of


women


“ do


what


i


want


or


i


will


go


away


and


die ”

“ b b u u t t


.


.


.


i don't care ”

i


don't


think


happiness


is


a

sine


qua


non


of

life


but


unhappiness


is

the


positive


side


of


miscavige


is


he


has


effectively


destroyed


scientology


in


a


way


that


was


not


otherwise


possible

the


hallmark


of


zen


on


the


web


and


real

life


censorship


and


exclusion


of


meaningful


criticism

zen


has


too


many

nuts


in


it


even


joko


beck


is


a nut


why


do


i


feel


that


what


she


says


and


herself


is


so


dead?


another


wasted


life


that


doesn't


even


scratch


the


surface


of


the

wrong


minded

ness


at


least


toni

packer


wasn't


a

nut !


but


then


she


wasn't


zen

zen


masters


and


teachers


dead


heads


and


dicks

i


don't


like


having


to


explain


death


to


corpses

i


don't


like


having


to


explain


corpses


to


corpses

well


it's


sorta


an


intensity


i


prefer


the

intensity


of


trees


golden


elm

yews


and


cedars


sweeping



the



sky


macrocapras


silver


birches


shakespeare makes alot more sense if you understand sir henry neville really wrote those works. he was talking about his wife and it fits her and their life, it doesn't fit shakespeare who doesn't look like he could have written that  poem

you


are


my


sunshine


my


only


sunshine


you


make


me


unhappy


when


no


clouds


are


around


hmmm............


shades


of


father


william ?



bad


karoke

i think the nature of male and female is to be anti the other sex


compassion


i


notice


those


who


talk


about


it


are


least


equipped


to


act


and


do
!

except


within


the


family


sexual


competition


paradigms


are


overwhelming


in


human


behavior


which


is


why

gender


blurring


can


be


so


far


ahead


it


is


not


bound


by


it

king dory


got some yesterday at the “nut house”


quite nice eating, deep water off the east west and southern coast of tasmania


being deep water should have good oils in


the fish is tall and thin so the fillet will be wider without meaning it's a bigger fish !



i



always


buy


the


fish

a

s

small


as


possible


to minimise the mercury

there


is


no


point


in


being


broken


and


acting


like


you


are


repaired

what i find interesting is it's really only in the last year or two i have learnt to write in a way that is properly reflective, that is, in terms of this  article  it increases syntheses and analyses skills.

why


are


women


such

bitches ?


there's


no


male


equivalent


in


other


words


the


problems


are


tautological !




what i am saying is that its inherent to the way male and female form and are split from each other, like if you split something the two ends that have been split are complementary and take their shape from each other in negative and postive ways!



the


male



perception of  “bitch”  has no male correlate, that is  “bastard”  is different from bitch !

accepting


you


are


mad


not


easy


not


sane


actually


that's


the


hard


part

all


who


come


into


contact


with


zen


get


damaged


some


escape


some


don't


i


do


and


i


don't


escape !

i


think


i


am


becoming


more


who


i


used


to


be


before


i


got


slaughtered


by


religion

if


i


say


that


john


loori


was


schizophrenic


i


should


add


i


am


also


schizophrenic


that


still


doesn't


mean


i


approve him

humans


are


a


herd


animal

methodology


intention


aims


zen


is


very


flawed

the residents  -  gingerbread man


best watched on pop out


  wikipedia


really quite different


sort of monty python meets avant garde music meets commercial music and aging farts !


maybe i preferred  “ here i come  constantinople

poetry is better self taught because the people teaching it are way not up to it. in fact the universities teach how to write and like bad poetry


charles bukowski's  “so you want to be a writer”  is  real

my fertilizer additions for tomatoes


plenty of blood and bone


sulphate

of


potash



a small amount of epsom salts


i water with a soluble fertiliser that is well mixed and has been left to stand for an hour to dissolve and stirred each time before pouring from the watering can


the water soluble mix is 50/50 aquasol and yates cause they have slightly different balances of minerals and sometimes i put in some liquid seaweed too especially when the plant is starting

well i'm feeling a little better, i was went outside on the lawn and was able to jump 6 ft. 91 year olds eat my dust !      article        bbc

the


perfect


fruit


is


not


the


best

what


sounds


sweetest


is


not


always


what


is


deepest


harmony


in


dissonance


is


what's


deepest

relationship


and


life


potential


its


just


a


bunch


of


sums


that


dont


add


up!


you can explore this by watching the incongruences as they inevitably occur


or


you


can


back


off


expectation


of


things


turning


out


ok !


the


latter


is


certainly


easier

good  video,  she comes across well. it's interesting that the almost universal male response in the comments is to disparage her !

i always love how jesus is pictured as a virile handsome young man

how about having a disfiguring skin disease ?

in a way right or wrong is irrelevant, it's that jeff foster is missing something and so do the “masters” for that matter

even paradox is no answer though life is deeply paradoxical

adolescence


the


intensity


of


flowers

what


do


women


want ?


for


men


to


be


more


like


women !


what


do


men


want ?


for


women


to


be


less


like


themselves

i'm


not


writing


for


the


hoi


polloi


i'm


writing


for


the


one


or


two


people


in


three


hundred


years


that


might


read


this !