this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items that don't warrant a page by themselves or seem to fit better here



chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page



layout is done with the internet explorer text size setting at  largest  and with a zoom of 125%, though i don't have an opinion on any correct size per se



links are in the  times new roman  font  

















with


a


diary


you


break


down


reality


into


day


by


day
















i


think


you


can


write


and

completely


lose


interest


in


making


sense


to


others !
















one


world


tower


crazy


tower



though


strong!
















one


world


tower


crazy


tower

though

strong !
















in


the


end


most


of


your


writing

lacks


occasionally


you


write


something


very


good.


what


of


it?
















in


the


end


most


of


your


writing

lacks


occasionally


you


write


something


very


good.


what


of


it ?
















in


the


end


most


of


your


writing

lacks


occasionally


you


write


something


very


good.


what


of


it
















in


the


end


most


of


your


writing

lacks


occasionally


you


write


something


very


good.
















everyone


is


so


nasty


to


me !
















“ my


wife ”


what


is


the


outstanding


feature


of


that?


she


has


chosen


you
















“ my


wife ”


what


is


the


outstanding


feature


of


that?


she


has


chosen


you
















“ my


wife ”


what


is


the


outstanding


feature


of


that?


she


has


chosen


you !
















sleep


is


not


everything !
















heraclitus


was


right ?


i


suppose


so !
















heraclitus


was


right ?


i


suppose


so !
















it's


so


weird


no-


one


will


understand


what


you


are


doing !
















it's


so


weird


no-one


will


understand


what


you


are


doing !
















it's


a


hard


school


children


are


voracious


no


wonder


women


need


to


be


tough !
















maybe


the


woman


is


a


symbiont


to


the

male


rather


than


simply


ruler ?



symbiont (smb-nt, -b-) or symbiote (smb-t, -b-)


an organism in a symbiotic relationship. in cases in which a distinction is made between two interacting organisms, the symbiont is the smaller of the two and is always a beneficiary in the relationship, while the larger organism is the host and may or may not derive a benefit.
















the


jewish


religion


has


always


been


particularly


badly


served


by


it's


priesthood


a


particularly


blind

and


stupid


clergy !
















it is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics, that action and reaction are equal and opposite, that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger.


gertrude stein




my reply :



or


you


eat


them


  alive !
















is


a


“ theory


of


everything ”


in


actual


fact


the


search


for


the


theory


of


everything


the actual reality of insufficiency
















from a philosophical point of view the


physics


of

the


universe


should


turn


out


to


be


something


like


the


voynich


manuscript


that


is

they


will


be


looking


for-


ever


for

a


theory


of


everything !
















anything


is


forgivable


except


being


too


good !
















generally


people


in


a

different


generation


you


may


be


alive


at


the


same


time


but


they


are


not


accessible !
















john


loori


was


schizophrenic


he


got


rid


of


anyone


who


didn't


go


along


with


it !
















women have a sense of having seeded and gone to seed, their purpose complete
















women have a sense of having seeded and gone to seed
















men


just


continue


until


startled


by


death !


:


o


(


)


:


o


)


(
















men


just


continue


until


startled


by


death !

















sometimes


i


think


i


should


just


write


it


down


and


put


it


in


a


suitcase


like


pessoa !
















children


are


slaves


to

their


parents


and


parents


are


slaves


to


their


children


but


more


so


parents


are


slaves


to


their


children !
















men and women are slaves to each other but more so men to women
















men are slaves to women, women are slaves to children
















you are saying i am saying something yet it's you filling a vacuum the way you think it is
















i


do


swear


that


schizophrenia


is


the


norm


for


human

beings


sanity


is


not


as


flash


as


being


an


elf


a


fairy


or


fay


therian

a


werewolf


or


a


vampyre !
















travelling


when


ill


a


wandering


dream


the


 parched   beautiful


hills


and


sea!




ed. a freer translation translation of basho's  last poem,  more of a tribute to him !
















travelling


when


ill


a


wandering


dream


the


parched


hills !




ed. my translation of basho's  last poem
















mike


cross


i


think


we


have


this


much


in


common


we


are


both


completely


mad


but


not


that


uncomfortable


with


it


if


you


know


what


i mean


;


o


)
















sometimes


you


need


to


see


a


work


in

a

bad


translation


to


break


free


of


it !
















charles


bukowski


women


are


breeding


machines


you


needed


a

non-


breeder


which


you


eventually


got


linda lee
















i


think


translation


is


partly


the


art


of


making


a


voynich


manuscript


out


of


sense !
















do


you


think


when


dogen


talks


about


non -


speaking


he


means


not


having


the


last


word ?
















in


terms


of


somewhere


to


live


there's


nowhere !
















i


like


a


good


haka


:


o


)


(
















life


what


is


that ?


death


what


is


that ?


you


are


trying


to


make


sense


of


the


whole


thing


you


see !


it's


so


weird


no-


one


will


understand


what


you


are


doing !
















life


what


is


that ?


death


what


is


that ?


you


are


trying


to


make


sense


of


the


whole


thing


you


see !
















life


what


is that ?


death


what


is


that ?
















well


we


don't


have


to


be


together

just


like


we


don't


have


to


be


apart !
















poetry


is


perishable


like


everything


else


the


multilayers


of


meaning


get


eroded !


from


the


moment


it's


written !
















poetry


is


perishable


like


everything


else


the


multilayers


of


meaning


get


eroded
















i


really


don't


want


to


write


so


much !
















there's


worse


things


than


just


lying


in


bed


thinking


even


i f



you



have


to


get


out


of


bed


to


write


the


thoughts


down


:


o


)
















if


we


didn't


age


there


would


mostly


be


no


cancer !
















japan


has


a


thinness


of


intelligent


decison


making


at


the


top !


this


is


a

problem


for


any


society


but


is


particularly


exaggerated


in


japan


perhaps


because


of


their


high


urban


densities


and


extreme


partitions


and


specialization


of


skills?
















when


people


are


injured


they


tend


to


injure


those


nearest


and


dearest


to


them !
















life rolls on, i am doing a lot of writing developing my philosophy that life is futile but there’s no point in putting your head under the axe : o )
















personally i think CBD’s are a bit dated now, one of the interesting things about the christchurch earthquake is how things have been kept functioning through redistributing functions out of the cbd to the suburbs through the internet !


christchurch pales into insignficance beside fukushima, it’s really interesting how incompetent their society is with this sort of problems, even the russians were better with chernobyl, i have seen figures that fukushima has emitted 8000 time the amount of radiation compared to hiroshima to date, but tepco are still trying to recover the reactor and don’t appear to be entombing it which i think is all they can do. anyway japan has a horrific cancer burden coming up !


i was reading about the japanese entry into WW2 and it’s like a farce, two of the main players, yamamoto and the emperor thought it would be the disaster for them what it was, but they both plunged ahead , the emperor was not just a figurehead btw, quite an astute ! yamamoto had spent three years at harvard !


ho chi min also spent two years in the usa !
















r


u


a


man


painting


a


woman


or


a


woman


painting


a


woman?



koan  of the week



:



o



)
















r


u


a


man


painting


a


woman


or


a


woman


painting


a


man?
















i


don't


think


russia


has


really


come


to


grips


with


that


it


killed


one


of


the


greatest


poets


and


the


author


of


probably


what


is


the


greatest


poem  ( seashell version 1,  2 )


ever


written


no


system


could


survive


that


could


do


that !


same


with


nazi


germany


and


kafka's


sisters !
















i


don't


think


russia


has


really


come


to


grips


with


that


it


killed


one


of


the


greatest


poets


and


the


author


of


probably


what


is


the


greatest


poem  ( seashell version 1,  2 )


ever


written


no


system


could


survive


that


could


do


that !
















white


cockatoos


screeching


in


the


the


macrocarpas


a


tree


full


of


dinosaurs !
















white


cockatoos


on


the


the


macrocarpas


a


tree


full


of


dinosaurs !
















in


working


the


truth


of


something


out


 i take a very practical view


like


you


can


ask


“ what   


is


   atheism ”


in


theory


atheism

is


a

disbelief


in


god


but


in


 practice


i


find


it


is


humanism


that


is

a

belief


in


the human


species


as


  god !
















in


working


the


truth


of


something


out


 i take a very practical view


like


you


can


ask


“ what   


is


   atheism ”


in


theory


atheism

is


a

disbelief


in


god


but


in


 practice


i


find


it


is


humanism


a

belief


in


humans


as


  god !
















neo-


advaita


is


rolling


like


a


wave


of


sewage


through


the


western


world


sewage


is


what

people


want


of


course !
















  shibi  fell from heaven , “degraded” from according the the sanskrit !


i really think this verse is saying , like some of the others that heaven and survival are two different matters and feeding hawks with one's own flesh is not the way to go about it, similarly with nanda's erotic distractions


feeding hawks with our own flesh is how we go about life, tho it's hard to see but we all do this !
















teachers


can't


let


go


this


idea


that


they


know


something !
















kay


ryan


a

poet


laureate


worth


her


salt


unusual !
















there


is


an


argument


that


creative


writing


classes


are

a


pernicious


influence


unleashing


the


unwashed


so


to


speak !
















is


there


something


or


is


there


nothing ?
















is


there


something


or


nothing?
















what


is


it?


stars


luminous


skies


clouds


sunsets


and


sunrise!
















you


are


all


so


completely


insane


 and 


 rigid 


i


feel


comfortable !
















if


a


pistol


argues


with


a


rifle


the


pistol


loses



my


mother


quite


liked


“ ghost


riders


in


the


sky


and


i


think


it


does


capture


a


feeling of



infinity


and


the


hopeless


weariness


and


attempted


dominance


of


male


energy !
















if


a


pistol


argues


with


a


rifle


the


pistol


loses


my


mother


quite


liked


“ ghost


riders


in


the


sky


and


i


think


it


does


capture


a


feeling of



infinity


and


the


hopeless


weariness


of


male


energy !
















infinity doesn't speak through people it speaks to you directly


what is it?


stars


luminous


skies


clouds


sunsets


and


  sunrise!
















i


think


as


i


get

older


and


work


through


things


a


bit


i


get

more


confident


of


who


i


am !
















harry


an


“ it ”


man


he


dwells


deep


within


the


insanity


of

zen !
















zen


is


there


something


understandable


there


or


is


it

making


sense


of


gibberish
















i


know


something


about


the


world


too


much


about


the


world


and


not


enough !
















how


is


the


voynich


manuscript


different


from


this ?
















hockney


talks


about


fragmentation


to


capture


an


image

as


people


see


it


poetry


does


it


naturally !
















nothing


seems


to


be


more


fatal


to


any


understanding


of


life


than


teaching !
















sometimes a leopard seal masquarades as a  penguin !


not in the same class r u harry ?


a bunny attacking its fleas?
















couples


are


a


complex


sum


they

need


to


add


in


the


right


ways !
















couples


are


a


sum


they


need


to


add


the

right


way !
















mills


and


boon


and


now


“ paranormal


romance ”


is


quite

a


simple


paradigm


that


of


inadvertent


courtship !


i


don't


understand


why


it


is


so


appealing


to


women !


maybe


the


command


of


themselves


over


the


 desirable 


male ?
















we


don't


live


long


we


really


don't !


by


the


time


we


have


figured


a


few


things


out


we


are


dead !
















life


is


like


the


voynich


manuscript


   (third from the bottom, no.78 in the top righthand corner of manuscript shows clearly what it is !


how the   text  was generated)


it


won't


make


sense


because


it


can't


it's


a


   construct !
















i


am

a


real


demon


demons


are


autistic !
















the


net


has


created


a


situation


where


nonfiction


is


much


more


competitive


with


fiction


indeed


fiction


has


become


devalued !


witness


amazon


kindle !
















zen


like


all


religions


is


an


attempt


to


empower


communities


over


individual


insight


it


fails


because


it


simply


cannot


work !


against


nature


so


to


speak !


:


o


)
















you


can't


make


sense


out


of


the


voynich


manuscript


because


it's


a


fraud


except


in


it's


construction


as


a

fraud !


you


can't


make


sense


out


of


life


because


it's


a


fraud


except


in


it's


construction


as


a


fraud !
















zen


is


like


the


voynich


manuscript


obscure


and


with


no


ultimate


meaning


except


the


power


of


fraud !



and


the


readiness


of


schizophrenics


to


believe


looking


for


mystery


in


the


wrong


place !


that


is


man's


fallibility


rather


than


infinities


direct


speaking


which


this


is


BTW
















if


women

are


not


breeding


unless


they


are


menopausal


or


post


menopause


they


are


very


uncontrollable !
















if


sex


wasn't


so


full


of


snares


and


tangles


and


consequences


life


would


be

a

lot


simpler ?


is


this


a


characteristically


male


thought ?
















zen


mountain


monastery


 i


was


the


real


thing


and


i


got


booted !
















i


don't


think


there's


an


equivalent


for


men

a

s


they


are


not


on


hormones


in


the

same


way


but


they

definitely


lose


testosterone


in


their


50's


which


leaves


them


more


washed


out


tho


perhaps


more


vigorous


in


other


ways !
















women


those


hormones


give


you


no


rest


and


when


they


leave


you


they


leave


you

a

burnt


out


 hulk   husk !
















is


dogen


the

st.


augustine


of


zen


voluminous


plain


wrong


minded


with a


kernel


of


truth ?
















half


the


problem


of


life


is


the


way


we


build


little


cages


for


ourselves


the


other


half


is


that


we


don't


go


that


extra


mile


to


break



ourselves


out


of


them !
















hermeneutics


the


ill

fortune


of


interpetation !
















what


i


like


about


writing


is


the


way


it


can


untwist


me!
















something i never  posted,  decided sweeping zen was the enemy


you need a broader definition of zen and more articles looking at more interesting and contentious issues like has ekchart tolle gutted zen? is neoadvaita taking zen's “clientelle”

is zen wrong in the first place ?

more gossip on the sexual wrong doings of various teachers !

look the huffington post sells !

these teachers that you publish interviews with are vapid, they are vapid people and in fact transmission is also meaningless

sweeping zen is bounded by the way you self censor !

you are a sticky fly trap that binds and holds idiots !


better zen is swallowed up the by the ground creeping up on them than alert them to move !
















no. 1


rule


don't


help


the


enemy !


this


can

often


be

quite


against


the


grain !


often


it's


just


case


of


going


a


bit


further


and


looking


at


them


in


more


detail


and


seeing


that


they


really


are


the


enemy !


don't


be


fooled


you


can't


change


them


and


they


won't


change !
















machinery is very unforgiving of not getting things right, especially repair !
















dogen


is


like


a


paradigm


for


zen


towards


the


end


of


his


life


he


got


to


where


poets


start !


the


miracle


is


he


made


any


progress


at


all !
















“ we try to do the right thing at each moment , that's all ” - peter rocca (1:51)


my reply :


it's not all peter and if you were real you would reply here but like the rest you will hide, remain oblivious or remove this post !
















what it gives is things like the blue cliff record, the cases of which (and not the commentary) have useful insight ! however this is not zen.  zen  is a crazy and poisonous japanese distortion and the teachers don't understand anything and the students are suckers. not saying that chan or korean zen is any different ! the only two worthwhile teachers in the last 100 years are kusan sunim and kodo sawaki
















i


would


have


to


say


regardless


there


is


no

peace


anywhere !


i


don't


know


where


ashvaghosha


got


these


ideas


from


 !
















“ the


end


of


the


road ? ”


the

sightedness


or


blindness


of


middle


age ?
















chelation sucks, but my own experience with the non-chelation compendium supplement program and the biofilm carbohydrate diet is they work to make the needed difference that you can cope with the world which is just as well since IT DOES NOT ACCOMODATE as this  video  points out


you have to address the gut and nutrition but i bet the woman in the video isn't listening to what i am saying !


it's the way of the world that we see others don't listen but we don't see ourselves not listening !
















zen


is


selective


for


something


gullibility ?


part


and


parcel


of

something


else


significant


a


self


easily


lost ?
















“ it's


rather


exciting


to


get


to


the


end


of


the


road ! ”


:


o


)


“ if


it's


exciting


it's


not


the


end


of


the


road ! ”


:


o


)


(
















i


don't


think


people


can


handle


the


nullness


of


the


end


of


the


road


why


anyone


would


pretend


to


be


there


or


to


want


to


get


there


is


beyond


me



in


actual


fact


one


is


simply


delivered


:


o


)
















you


just



get


to


the


end


of


the


road


and


there's


nothing


there


absolutely


nothing !


it's


like


arriving



at


suicide


without


dying


:


o


)


(
















my


god


a


newish


crescent


moon


is


a


smiley !


it


had

a


bit


of


a


manic


tinge !


:


o


)
















the


mind


is


desire


how


can


it


be


eradicated?



i wonder if 11.34 35 and 36 are interpolations, they seem out of sync, in fact i am getting suspicious that some of the saundarananda has other authors in !
















they


are


reprobates


the


more


you


deal

with


them


and


try


to


talk


to


them


the


more


they


drag


you


down !
















listen twice and it's quite intelligible


worth it !
















we


are


two


loners


going


where ?


alone !


can


it


work ?


perhaps !
















harry


have


you


ever


heard


of


dharma


combat ?


i


just


wiped


the


floor


with

your


blood !
















zen


lays


down


some


false


ideas


one


of


which


is


that


there


is


some


resting


point


in


the


development


of


understanding


there


is


none !
















memory


sort


of


stiches


over


everything


if


you


have


no


memory


what


then ?


it's


still


memory !
















i


think


what


i


write


is


as


good


as


ae


housman


i


don't


ask


for


more


:


o


)
















religion


the


refuge


of


mediocrities


they


are


nothing

without


it !
















you


can't


be


disillusioned


enough


about


this


whole


disaster


area


life
















what i find odd is these very high functioning   autistics  without children all seem to buy very strongly into the medical paradigm


yet they are the ones with the time to do it better
















zen really screwed me up. it's a question of walking out !



eileen's comment:


like me can't


 men have really screwed me up it's a question of walking out
















divides are part of what reality is !


unresolvable and unchangeable !
















that   homily  about cats and women is about practical realities
















if one is entirely real that is also very flawed
















i don't expect life to deliver a resolution
















men are spurt the sperm and run


 that actually gives them the maximum amount of children
















life has multiple perspectives,  it's  just a perspective
















all


this


writing


am


what


i


trying


to


do


is


mirror


the


night


sky


and


stars ?


what is


the


point ?
















what


i


have


learnt


and


it


happens


all


the


time


to


me


is


if


i


don't


give


attention


to


detail


i


get


 burnt   bit !
















art


is


just


thinking


generally


about


life


i


don't


think


the


processes


are


any


different


say


from


fixing


a


computer


at


least


the


way


i


fix


them


:


o


)


trauma


and


being


broken


always


:


o


(
















one's


art


is


better


for


you


being


stretched


and


broken


wether


it's


better


for


you


is


not


so

clear


:


o


 )   (   )


 )  (
















masai


society


looks


singularly


screwed


they


have

a


strong


intrinsic


uncertainty


of


paternity !
















toulouse


lautrec


a


   vitamin D receptor problem ?


that's


why


the


bone


trouble


and


short


legs


and


why


the


syphilis


  killed him?
















manilius: poetry & science after vergil  by mary pendergraft, wake forest university


you won’t know me but reading your  article  it had a quality to it that i was lucky to come across !


just thought i’d write cause i know how little this sort of thing is appreciated in the world !


i really like virgil and don’t know why a.e. housman was so keen on manilius !


it’s interesting the ancient greeks and romans were so up on atomic theory and the intelligent design versus chance argument has been playing itself out over the millenia !!
















limited


from


the


outset


limited


in


the


endset


limited !
















with


aśvaghosa


you


get


occasional


glimpses


of

a


massive


density


in


what


he


wrote


the


density


may


have


been


potential


that


is


he


never



wrote


it


or


it


may


be


real


that


is


he


wrote


it


but


the


subtle


many


layers


of


meaning


have


been


lost


to


us


through time


and


loss


of


his


culture !

















there


is


more


zen


in


ancient


greek


and


latin


poetry


than


there


is


ancient


greek


and


latin


poetry


in


zen !
















zen


is


like


the


voynich


manuscript


obscure


and


with


no


ultimate


meaning


except


the


power


of


fraud !
















if


i


was


sane


and


published


by


the


victoria


university


press


you


would


call


me

a


writer


but


since


i'm


insane


and


not


published


by


victoria


university


press


what


will


you


call


me?


not

a



not


writer


since


i


obviously


write


but


not


a


writer


since


i


don't


conform

to


the

fake


and


hack


stereotypes !
















why


is


it


one


spends


so


much


of


later


life


unlearning


what


was


taught


in


school


and


childhood ?