this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don't warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems  index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page

audio files are best listened to  with the eyes closed !

the layout is done with the internet explorer text size setting at  largest  and with a zoom of 125%, and my text rendering is done for these settings though they should be somewhat tolerant of a zoom setting or two up or down

i

think

writing

is

essentially

an

asocial

skill

:

o

)

imo any medical or pyschiatric work now exposes you to too many virally contagious people, that is, there's any amount of known and unknown viruses out there now, with varying amounts of contagion and i think people working in these areas just get too affected !

it's just getting worse, there's stuff like stealth viruses that no-one knows anything about and the vaccine damaged generation of children growing up in the usa is just atrociously viral !

this is also destroying the school and university system and zen as well since zen students and teachers all seem to specialize in subtle health conditions like mild cfs and fibromyalgia and who knows what they have !

i don't know wether brad warner is going to agree with me on this, but his health problems this european trip are not just bad luck, but a combination of the immune system disruption from jet lag and him being in breathing contact with people who are unduly representative of the problem i have been talking about above !

brad, you had the basic strategy right with writing, but when you stepped into zen teaching and it's unremitting contact with the viral types inevitably involved it went horribly bad for you !

if

you

have

any

empathy

it's

very

depressing

dealing

with

suicidal

people !

what

is

it

with

you

guys

that

you

are

all

such

unthinking

confomists?

crazy

wisdom ?

craziness

is

wisdom

it's

also

insanity

:

o

)

i

can't

claim

to

be

med

free

as

i

was

on

fluoride

a

s

akid

and

somewhat

as

an

adult

now

since

i

use

a

fluoridated

toothpaste !

:

o

(

the

way

to

beat

the

system

is

to

appear

to

conform

but

not !

i

actually

feel

brad

warner

is

a

humble

person

with

some

female

cunning

:

o

)

it's

a

huge

strength !

too

bad

about

the

intellectual

retardation

though !

:

o

(

i

actually

feel

brad

warner

is

quite

a

humble

person

with

some

female

cunning

:

o

)

it's

a

huge

strength !

too

bad

about

the

intellectual

retardation

though !

:

o

(

han

shan

“ cold

mountain ”

is

just

one

peacock

colour

from

top

to

bottom

:

o

)

zen and madness, insanity, autism and intellectual retardation

it's all there in the old stories if you look , buddhism tends to intellectual retardation while the taoist side of zen is intellectually much more on deck but madder and more insane !

one has to see these in oneself and be comfortable with it!

han shan is the peak of zen and he certainly was not normal !

western zen has become like an unremittingly overcast grey day, no peacock colours at all ! .........

practice, buddha, mindfulness, “compassion”, just endless grey spew !

“consult with a properly licensed professional in your state, county, and/or community.”

you mean pay an idiot to poison or constrain you?

if you have any experience with the mental health profession, it's full of the criminally insane or incompetent who have figured it is safer to be on the establishment side of the fence than the other !

“ i have been on a slew of antidepressants in my life though and am wondering if i should get back onto them. ”

the human brain is not designed to function on today's diet, meds can work for a while but then they stop or the side effects become too crippling as perhaps you well know !

depression is the brains perception of its own injury so the primary problem is that injury !

simple things like fish oil , attention to thyroid nutrients and the intelligent use of some b-vitamins can go along way

all written up in my compendium and the biofilm carbohydrate (BCD) diet

of course it's easier to slowly die in the moronic hands of the pyschiatric profession !

there is also a message board for the discussion of these issues called  who_knows

in

a

universe

of

failed

or

wrong

decisions

it's

nice

to

come

across

a

right

one

:

o

)

viruses

kill

any

effective

writing

:

o

)

viruses

completely

kill

effective

writing

:

o

)

(

now

if

life's

mad

and

you

are

mad

and

you

need meds to survive in the madness

what

exactly

is

mad?

:

o

)

(

now if life's mad, and you are mad and you need meds to survive in the madness, what exactly is mad?  : o )

the earliest known tattoos are on the 5300 year old “ötzi the ice man” and were placed medicinally on  acupuncture  pain relief points

a gripping description of the  iceman !

it's

so

hard

to

write

well

and

takes

so

much

thinking !

it's

so

hard

to

write

well

and

takes

so

much

time

:

o

)

magical

thinking

over-

influence

in

the

world

:

o

)

tattooing

a

socially

acceptable

form

of

self

injury

like

body

piercing

but

body

modifications

are

not

!

:

o

)

mother

teresa

taking

an

idea

humility

and

building

your

life

around

it

wrong !

imo tattoo's are problematic, a view i am prepared to change when i see a 100 year old heavily tattooed man !

tattoo's

basically

you

are

having

unknown

substances

injected into

your

body

to

slowly

leach

out

and

provide

allergenic

potential

over a

lifetime !

to

say

nothing

of

police

identification

:

o

)

from a zen perspective they would be wrong since something that is not you is being bound into you !

of

course

zen

used

to

be

a

celibate

tradition

;

o

)

tattooing is probably the mild end of a continuum that finishes with body modification and self-mutilation !

some

want

to

do

this

why

i

do

not

know !!!!!!!!!!

....

.

.

..

leaving

my

imprint

on

time

what

if

time

is

worth

nothing ?

:

o

)

(

....

.

.

..

leaving

my

imprint

on

time

what

if

time

is

worth

nothing ?

evolution

is

one

of

the

most

profound

and

useful

discoveries

ever

made

:

o

)

that

longing

to

be

ordinary

and

live

an

ordinary

life

how

illusory

:

o

)

any-

one

with

half

a

brain

would

know

there's

something

missing

none

of

you

guys

can

even

see

it !

testing

an

opinion

not

“ it's

a

good

idea ”

or

i'd

like

it

to

be

so

but

is

it

true ?

i

always

welcome

valid

criticism

:

o

)

(

the

problem

is

how

little

of

it

there

is

:

o

)

really

criticism

is

a

subtle

proactive

process

we

have

to

engage

ourselves !

you

can

get

very

good

with

the

theory

of

humility !

either

you

live

in

a

ghost

cave

or

you

see

everyone -

else

living

in

it !

one

ghastly

vast

communal

consensual

ghost

cave !

either

you

live

in

a

ghost

cave

or

you

see

everyone -

else

living

in

one !

one

ghastly

vast

communal

consensual

ghost

cave !

all

you

have

to

do

to

take

a

holiday

is

just

leave

everything

:

o

)

you

are

just

all

grey

grey

men

grey

lives!

you don't sit down and say “ i am wrong ”, you recognize that and look ahead and don't eliminate unforseeingly potential utility

i

regret

to

say

i

am

not

particularly

anything

or

not

regret

:

o

)

(

i

regret

to

say

or

not

particularly

regret

;

o

)

that

i

am

not

particularly

anything

:

o

)

it's

not

possible

to

get

everything

wrong

all

the

time

:

o

)

(

you

lost

before

you

started

:

o

)

you

can't

unbreak

yourself

doing

a

process

of

building

yourself

you

can !

regarding

health

problems

you

may

not

want

to

know

but

they

are

going

to

tell

you

aren't

they

?

:

o

)

regarding

health

you

may

not

want

to

know

but

it's

going

to

tell

you

isn't

it

?

:

o

)

“ rendering ”

text

is

sorta

like

an

overriding

visual

logic !

:

o

)

there's

an

old

zen

problem

called

“ living

in

a

ghost

cave ”

you

just

don't

get

it

do

you ?

unrequited

net

the

:

o

)

(ed. reply   to)

my observation is people who rely excessively on medicine, doctors and hospitals end up in bad situations, single people are especially vulnerable

maybe

“ absolute

and

relative ”

is

voynich

just

like

this !

part

of

complacency

is

not

wanting

to

change

that

complacency !

none

of

you

have

the

slightest

question

about

the

validity

of

what

you

are

doing

yet

you

are

but

clowns

dancing

in

the

land

of

voynich !

none

of

you

have

the

slightest

question

about

the

validity

of

what

you

are

doing

yet

you

are

but

clowns

larking

about

in

voynich !

i am going to try and infect this board (ed. hardcore zen blog)with a meme!

the meme is

“ i have got it wrong ”

repeat this to yourselves, at least the bit you are comfortable with like “i have got it” and then see the antibodies attack as you try to mouth “wrong” !

i

don't

object

to

being

called

mad

the

truely

mad

don't

see

themselves

as

MAD !

“ he

just

gives

up ”

it's

sad

to

see

a

defeated

male

:

o

)

not

for

the

female

though

; o )

if

you

want

to

understand

some-one

imagine

yourself

doing

something

they

would

do

or

writing

what

they

wrote

and

see

how

you

feel

and

think

when

doing

that !

the

only

thing

that

gives

any

relief

from

sex

drive

is

old

age

or

illness

or

getting

worn

out

:

o

)

the

only

thing

that

gives

any

relief

from

sex

drive

is

old

age

or

illness

or

wearing

out

:

o

)

sitting

is

only

something

that

can

happen

in

the

exclusion

or

non-

recognition

of

infinity !

if

you

are

still

sitting

you

don't

have

confidence

in

the

infinity

you

see

around

you

and

what

it

is !

if

you

are

still

sitting

you

don't

have

confidence

in

the

infinity

around

you !

the

most

remarkable

thing

about

the

christchurch

earthquake

is

the

way

the

CBD

functions

redistributed

to

the

other

main

centers

and

the

christchurch

suburbs !

writing

never

fits

into

life

as

salman

rushdie

found

out!

:

o

)

mrs.

grundy

or

religious

zealots

always

intervene

if

they

can !

this

is

what

i

am

good

at

very

very

good

at

in

terms

of

across

the

centuries

what

else

can

i

do ?

there

is

no

god

there

is

god

god

is

greater

than

no

god

or

god !

:

o

)

once

freedom

of

expression

ispermitted

the

illusion

of

zen

or

any

religion

collapses

:

o

)

the exposed

inconsistencies

stress

and

break

the

shonky

edifice !

:

o

)

rats

in

the

selfconstructed

cages

of

zazen

:

o

)

well

it's

summer

and

the

deer

tick

nymphs

are

calling

:

o

)

sitting

in

a

chair

or

lying

down

is

ok

recollection

reflection

thinking

i

don't

say

these

are

something

you

do

but

occur !

seated

meditation

enables

the

zen

bullshit

teachers

rabbiting

nonsense

to

a

suggestible

audience !

sitting

enables

the

zen

bullshit

teachers

rabbiting

nonsense

to

a

suggestible

audience !

salman

rushdie's

conundrum

will

being

killed

by

a

fatwa

get

you

less

houri's

in

heaven ?

:

o

)

salman

rushdie's

conundrum

will

being

killed

by

a

fatwa

get

you

less

virgins

in

heaven ?

:

o

)

what

is

really

true

is

a

combination

of

real

and

imaginary

spaces

neither

is

particularly

valid

by

itself !

maybe

that's

aproblem

with

sitting

too

real

by

half

:

o

)

what

is

really

true

is

a

combination

of

real

and

imaginary

spaces

neither

is

particularly

valid

by

itself !

sitting

is

an

attempt

to

make

life

prisons

bearable !

yet

all

you

have

to

do

is

bear

with

what

seems

unbearable

in

a

word

patience

:

o

)

sitting

is

an

attempt

to

make

life

prisons

bearable !

yet

all

you

have

to

do

is

bear

with

what

seems

unbearable

patience

in

a

word

:

o

)

does

sitting

work?

does

it

make

people

mentally

ill?

does

it

entrap

people

in

a

voluntary

prison ?

does

sitting

work?

does

it

make

people

mentally

ill?

does

it

entrap

people

in

a

volunteer

prison ?

if

something

is

worthwhile

it

can

handle

the

criticism !

the

very

process

of

sitting

entrenches

one

in

the

wrong

place

and

keeps

one

entrenched

:

o

)

sitting: just going on the same rails to nowhere forever is not useful imo  : o )

look

it's

only

a

technique

to

keep

the

monks

in

the

prison

they

have

volunteered

themselves

into

:  o  )

meditative sitting is a perversion of solitude

i

quite

like

that

:

o

)

“But can you do it (ed. meditation sitting) wrong?”

or is it wrong itself?

a waste of time, leading nowhere which certainly seems to case for those posters on this board ( ed. hardcore zen blog) who sit?

why is it wrong? the buddha has ten directions not .05 !

sitting didn't work for the monks, it didn't work for dogen and it's not working for you !

my

writing

is

like

nietzsche

it

sits

on

the

boundaries

a

bit

asking

questions !

when

you

are

healthy

everything

just

rolls

along

:

o

)

when

you

have

a

health

problem

the

bottom

just

drops

out !

:

o

(

dogen's

early

works

are

an

unholy

blend

of

sense

and

nonsense

but

towards

the

end

of

his

life

he

started

to

write

more

consistent

sense !

since

infinite

possibilities

can

occur

then

infinity

can

occur

it's

such

a

wonderful

marvellous

thing !

madness

is

to

the

clearest

eye

pure

sanity

:

o

)

it

could

be

refined

a

bit

you

don't

want

to

cripple

them

too

much

or

they

mightn't

be

so

useful

:

o

)

(

the

main

complaint

of

women

is

they

haven't

crippled

men

enough !

a

woman's

main

complaint

is

she

hasn't

crippled

a

man

enough !

women

cripple

men

hobble

in

politespeak !

:

o

)

women

cripple

men

:

o

)

hobble

in

politespeak !

you

have

to

see

very

clearly

that

buddhas

a

story

you've

got

no

escape

otherwise !

women

need

to

love

because

they'd

be

impossible

to

deal

with

otherwise !

:

o

)

(

very

wealthy

men

specialize

in

only

earning

money

therefore

they

only

get

what

money

can

buy

and

when

they

grasp for

what

money

cannot

buy

they

flail

their

hands

in

empty

air

like

when

they

start

to

approach

terminal

illness

and

money

can

only

buy

wrong

minded

medical

advice !

“and with this "lite" zazen schedule, most participants have absolutely zero chance of reaching full enlightenment...they'll reach only "lite" enlightenment at best...”

all

zen

is

based

on

the

fiction

of

dogen

getting

enlightened

during

zazen

in

song

dynasty

china

in

fact

he

didn't

get

“ enlightened ”

until

several

years

before

his

death

and

it

wasn't

through

zazen !

it

was

through

thinking !

as

for

buddha

he's

just

a

story !

teaching

poisons

the

character !

it's

funny

how

we

can

take

wrong

turnings

and

have

to

straighten

them

out

decades

later !

and

the

weirdest

thing

is

they

actually

do

straighten

out !

is

mediation

real

or

a

fiction ?

a

fiction !

is

meditation

a

fiction ?

YES

IT

is !

my

writing

is

the

sort

of

work

that

is

never

read

but

dribbles

along

the

centuries

as

supposedly

worthy

and

saying

something

about

life !

the

female

is

up

itself

as

a

breeder

(ed. women have an arrogance because of the dependence on the species on them to breed

it's not saying men don't have their own arrogance/s)

:

o

)

(

with

religions

the

overwhelmingly

obvious

is

missed

they

are

simply

not

true !

neither

is

atheism

but

that

is

harder

to

see !

creationism

is

dull

stupidity !

religions

havea

lot

of

power

in

our

lives

because

of

the

way

they

impose

fantasy

and

fictions

into

them !

muhammad

is

an

adolescent

fairytale !

the

buddha

is

a

flacid

wanker !

the

god

of

the

christian

bible

except

for

ecclesiastes

the wisdom of jesus son of sirach

and

some

of

isaiah

would

have

to

be

a

nut

case !

alice

in

wonderland

is

not

by

any

means

a

child's

story !

i think if you get high and mighty about paedophiles you are missing something in an understanding about life

you just have to step back and look at things not adding up according to conventional world views

you need to temper judgement with a sense of having done severe wrong yourself !

i think alice in wonderland is a good example of displaced sexual energy

it's got this huge vibrancy

it has the purity of unrequited sexual desire

what i'm saying is theres a huge energy and vibrancy to alice in wonderland that comes from unrequited love

i'm not condoning it nor passing judgement

alice in wonderland is one of the greatest works ever written

where

did

that

come

from ?

you have to have really read and appreciated carrolls best works ( both alices, jabberwocky, the hunting of the snark ) i think

they are so good it's staggering

why

what

is

it

about

reality

that

things

should

be

this

way ?

lewis

carroll

or

charles

dodgson

and

alice !

those

suicide

girls

are

a

mental

hook

to

you

brad

warner !

crippling

really !

those

suicide

girls

are

a

mental

hook

to

you

brad

warner !

a

good

page

on

prince

eugene !

he

was

usually

right !

:

o

)

(

why zazen is a genuine “ spiritual practice”

1.

it

destroys

your

life

2.

it

inducts

schizophrenia

3.

it

ensures

you

will

be

unsuccessful

at

anything

you

do!

4.it

can

create

circulation

issues !

i

just

want

to

listen

to

the

rain

f

o

r

e

v

e

r

:

o

)

(

when

you

start

zazen

it

can

take

22

years

to

break

free

of

it !

zen

teachers

don't

have

the

freedom

to

take

the

bizarre

seriously

because

there's

nothing

more

bizarre

than

life

:

o

)

a

polymath

equally

hopeless

at

everything

:

o

)

if

there's

one

thing

i

have

learnt

it's

that

people

are

equal

universes

even

if

they

are

wrong !

:

o

)

it'll

open

if

you

have

a

question

it

will

get

answered!

mysterion, jill taylor is fully on autistic spectrum, gender blurring, speaking in monotone, and of course the very early health issues

if you look at the stories about jesus and buddha they are very autistic !

i like the one about buddha staring at the bodhi tree after enlightenment for a week !

you cannot begin to think sanely until you realise with certainty that jesus and buddha are stories

one of the reasons for that is their lives don't make sense, the insight which really only comes from a lot of solitude and hermiticity as per schopenhauer or heraclitis cannot be married IRL to the very social lives these people led.

if you see god what is religion to you ? what are people to you? a nuisance !

none of you actually believe in the possibility of seeing god or buddha or whatever and get stuck in stupid notions like practice and meditation !

call me crazy or egotistical if it makes you happier but it doesn't alter anything !

the main point of wisdom literature or the stories is you have to understand the world well enough to discount the common herds received garble so you can recognise and value infinity when it occurs,

of course this notion is completely strange to you or you wouldn't bother with the rubbish you do !