eileen's poem collation number XI








a lake of gold


pools


on the ground around


my golden elm tree


sunrise and sets


of gold who is


as rich


as lucky me












































you



you never wanted


it


to be me


always looking


to infinity


to

provide

the

girl


you

thought


was


she

?



youneverwantedittobeme









































you never wanted


it


to be me


always looking


to infinity


to

provide

the

girl


you

thought


was


she

?



you

never

wanted

it

to

be

me









































it will


come


as a bit of a shock


i know


but


out of your arse


the sun


does

not

glow



you


can labour


the

point


till i


get up and go


but


arguing


never


made anything


so.......





(ed. older poem, new spacing)









































prince frog



prince of


my dreams


in life

a frog


you really are


a

bane


the prince


a

frog


like other frogs


all


the

bleeding

same





(ed. older poem, new spacing)









































he

fell


in love


of that

i'm sure


but


with


himself!


i'm out the door





(ed. older poem, new spacing)









































you


whittled away so much of


me


to get


the shape you wanted


now cry


at the pieces


cast

down

on


the floor


you


got what you wanted not less but



more





authors comment:


can never title a piece of writing somehow it doesn't seem to fit what i write whatever that is ;o)




(ed. older poem, new spacing)









































oh infinity!


you sneaky bitch



cold


as the stars



warm as the sun









































dawn


no longer rescues


me and the full moon


mock




( ed. older poem,   variation )









































she spends her life painting


out her existance


on

fake


faces




(ed. older poem, new spacing)









































infinities eyesight


given to


the


hunch

back


the infirm


and


the

really

quite


insane




(ed. older poem, new spacing)









































everything looks washed


battered


hung out to dry


rain


falls


from a sour sky




(ed. older poem, new spacing)









































mist rising in the valley


grey g a u z e


pierced by dark green






(ed. older  poem  new spacing)









































when i walk a coastal cliff


face i want to wedge into


the eye socket gaze


out to sea forever


become

weathered


like the rock




(ed. older poem, new spacing)









































summer heat


sparse lawns


unhappy looking


flowers end




(ed. older poem, new spacing)









































ragged clouds race


fleeing the storm they bring


lightening shimmers


distant thunder cracks


dollar sized drops smack


cement wet smells




an early evening summer storm watched over country valley views evoked this poem




   (ed. older poem, new spacing)









































this us



i am giving up desire


to break us


out

of

madness


we will run through it's halls


like children


watched over

by


ourselves




eileen's comment


Lol written when thinking about ur net life and my feeling about that

and how we are both mad....

funny when i wrote it i saw us as kids running thro the halls of some big english mansion

don't know y it was very strong image



andrews comment


i think the  watched over by ourselves  is a good line because madness is really like that, a matter of definition almost !




   (ed. older  poem  new spacing)









































andrew writes:



rather


than



guess



let



a



conclusion



form



and



then



test? !




eileen's response.....



how

do

you

let

a

conclusion

form

if

you

don't

have

any

opinions

???









































isn't it weird


how people


and things


can be SO important to us


yet at the same time


mean nothing









































my window is filled


with the night


the moon is distant


small


bone white









































physically


attractive


people


are


perceived


to


be


special









































got the  nest  inside now Lol a small one with one little abandoned egg and one broken maybe hatched, it fell out of the hedge









































ragged clouds race


fleeing the storm they bring


lightening shimmers


distant thunder cracks


dollar sized drops smack


cement wet smells









































mist rising in the valley


g a u z e


pierced by dark green









































mist rising in the valley


g a u z e


pierced by dark green









































found a birds nest on the garden path  one egg broken  one still whole...









































found a birds nest on the garden path one egg broken one still whole...









































there is so much beauty


in


a


bee


sting


on the birds wing


does


a


leaf


sing


  what the ocean brings









































there is so much beauty


in


a


bee


sting


on the birds wing


does


a


leaf


sing


what the ocean brings









































a volte face


may take place


at crises in a marriage


but


it's often ephemeral









































philosophy might teach you


how to think?


but it's broad spectrum LIVING


that teaches you


about life









































scented air sun warmed soft breeze


languid butterflies drift, my eyes do please


creamy roses nod their heads


oh to sleep in their petal strewn bed









































happiness is floating through



a


deep blue


sky









































happiness is floating through



a


deep blue


sky









































we examine others lives


to compare with our own


see the dangers


on either side









































it's easier


to brutalize


the


ones


you


love









































  motherhood  



a


funny combination of


  pain  


  pride  


  fear  


and


  denial  









































for other colour schemes please give the 6 digit hex code for the  colours  you want e.g. #ff92ff is the pink used for  denial









































  motherhood  



a


funny combination of


  pain  


  pride  


  fear  


and


  denial  









































motherhood (blood red)



a


funny combination of


pain (billious green)


pride (in glowing gold)


fear (midnight blue)


and


denial (soft pink)









































summer heat


sparse lawns


unhappy looking


flowers end









































everything looks washed


battered


hung out to dry


rain


falls


from a sour sky




andrew's  reply









































summers end


the warmth has gone with the storms


leaving a cloud splashed sky









































she uses herself


as a puppet


to portray what men want to see









































to go through life


unconcerned



with


others


doings









































infinities


eye


sight


given


to


the


hunch


back


the


infirm


and


the


really


quite


insane









































she


uses


her mouth and eyes


as


well


as


any prostitute


altho


she


touches not


the


men


that


fall


beneath her gaze









































she


spends


her


life


painting




out


her


existance




on


fake


faces









































the thought of you watching her settles like death in my stomach


i see my reflection in the window


glum

struck dumb

SEEDED!


my seeds borne in the stream









































so


all


your


big


dreams


have


fallen


into


dust


why


trash


all


the


little


ones


as


well









































the


moon


a


pearl


on


deep


velvet


blue









































a


woman


is


not


unaware


of


her


self


sacrifice


more


helpless


in


the


face


of


it









































in


side


out









































dawn


no longer


rescues


me



and


the


full moon


mocks









































you


can


stay


in one place



and still


find ways


to leave


people









































when


you


say


“ I'll


always


love


you ”


there


is


a


silent


but









































when


you


say


“ I'll


always


love


you ”


there


is


a


silent


“but”









































sucked


in


to


the


mire


of


your


madness









































why


does


making


eating


more


simple


for


people


make


it


more


difficult









































there's


a


wrong


kind


of


buzz


buzzing


under


my


skin



i'm


jumping


out


of



it's


moved


in









































we


fed


into


each


others


idiosyncrasies


appreciated


each


others


minds









































trapped


in


a


body


that


moves


slower


than


thought









































some


thing


is


happening


i


can


see


is


it


clearer


insanity ?









































some


thing


is


happening


i


can


see


is


it


clearer


insanity









































i


gather


too


many


empty


things


around


me


to


give


me


shape


altho


i


don't


have


one









































shoes




speaking


often


feels


like


forcing


my


thoughts


in


to


the


wrong


words









































he


runs


behind


him


self









































in


a


vision


saw


our


parting


the


directions


we


did


go


saw


our


meeting


up


again


from


a


place


of


ice


and


snow









































i


would


rather


be


high


and


dry


than


dry


not


high









































you


have


to


see


people


for


what


they


are


and


let


them


be









































there was something


almost reptilian


in her observation


of people


as she sank back languid


in her chair









































i am me

no one

who are you

no one

so shut up









































well i feel it's important somehow


to try hard to be......not sure what


good?


kind


open


free


i fail









































well i feel it's important somehow

to try hard to be......not sure what

good?

kind

open

free

i fail









































you


need


to


be


in


touch


with


your


animal


it's


no


use


denying


him









































you


find


so


many


ways


to


punish


me


for


not


being


the


one


you


thought


owed


by


infinity









































so


many


activities


we


undertake


are


ego


driven


how


to


see


thro


that









































i


am


giving


up


desire


to


break


us


out


of


madness


we


will


run


thro


it's


halls


like


children



watched


over


by


ourselves



--------------------------------------



i


am


giving


up


desire


to


break


us


out


of


madness


you


will


run


thro


it's


halls


like


a


child


watched


over









































there


is


no


one


size


fits


all









































i'm


going


to


become


more


myself


even


tho


there


is


no


me


;o)









































people


seek


from


zen


etc


an


unentanglement


from


madness


only


to


become


intrenched


in


an


even


more


insane


perspective









































invested


interest


gets


the


better


of


most


of


us









































you


do


see


it


don't


you



out


of


the


corner


of


your


eye



that


madness


that


looms


so


large


yet


looks


so


small









































zen


buddism


adviata


insane


structures


constructed


by


the


insane


trying


to


deny


desire


to


construct









































jade


coast


you


cast


a


spell


your


secrets


i


will


never


tell









































you


didn't


answer


me


because


chance


would


be


a


fine


thing









































you


seem


to


see


the


jagged


side


of


me


caught


on


my


rocks


enchained


in


stocks


will


i


ever


let


you


be









































the


men


i


collect


tho


of


consequence


to


me


i


often


reject


cos


I'd


rather


run


free









































there


are


emotions


not


intellectually


in-consequential


although


men


often


dissmiss


them


as


such


often


without


even


being


in


touch









































love


you


appalling


creature


know


not


what


you


do









































dear


cupid


your


arrow


erred


thro


from


your


bow


it


was


spurred


my


heart


indeed


most


sorely


smote


strike


me


again


but


with


antidote









































i'm


not


really


that


interested


in


people




i'd


rather


look


at


other


things


here


among


the


stars









































the


scariest


thing


about


you


is


your


belief


in


your


own


self


image









































infinity


has


appointed


us


each


others


guardians


it


has


come


late


but


not


too


late









































sometimes


infinity


will


join


two


souls


neither


age


nor


centuries


divide


them









































does


god


wear


deodorant?









































sometimes


we're


like


children


clinging


together


more


often


parent


child









































we're


both


going


backwards


but


we've


gone


forward


so


far


we


cannot


go


back









































we


set


sail


in


a


tree


several


birds


and


me


oh


the


sights


i


did


see


wind


through


my


hair


feathers


and


leaves









































to


sail


across


the


sky


in


a


wind


blown


tree


top


galleon


clouds


sailing


companions


birds


aboard


the


lofty


boughs









































when


i


walk


a


coastal


cliff


face


i


want


to


wedge


into


the


eye


socket


gaze


out


to


sea


forever


become


weathered


like


the


rock









































when


some


one


is


DISCOVERED


they


spoil









































no


emotion


is


benign









































midnight


trees


on


sunset


skies


green


flecked


gold


in


your


eyes









































making the best of life enjoying




trees



leaves



snow



rain



sunshine



rainbows



birds









































trees



leaves



snow



rain



sunshine



rainbows



birds









































trees      leaves      snow      rain      sunshine      rainbows      birds









































not


so


un


like


you


after


all




it


helps


me


realize


you


more




so


late


too


late


anyway




did


i


even


have


a


say









































gnarled


and


twisted


rootstock


though


you


keep


me


alive


you


the


schemer


me


the


dreamer


how


do


we


survive









































gnarled


and


twisted


rootstock


though


you


keep


me


alive


you


the


schemer


me


the


dreamer


how


we


do


survive









































gnarled


and


twisted


rootstock


i


am


keeping


you


alive


you


the


dreamer


me


the


schemer


how


we


do


survive









































knarled


and


twisted


rootstock


i


am


keeping


you


alive


you


the


dreamer


me


the


schemer


how


we


do


survive









































i


can't


be


bothered


with


any


thing


my


bells


won't


blow


nor


my


whistles


ring









































so


love


has


come


and


love


has


gone


so


fucking


what









































prince


of


my


dreams


in


life


a


frog


you


really


are


a


bane


the


prince


a


frog


like


other


frogs


all


the


bleeding


same









































love's


lost


it's


lustre


look


and


see


if


can


you


find


it


for


me


please









































i


feel


like


i'm


playing


with


choice


like


a


child


without


companion









































oh


no!


i


think


it's


time


to


go


i'm


out


that


door


can't


take


no


more


i


really


just


might


blow









































he


fell


in


love


of


that


i'm


sure


but


with


himself


i'm


out


the


door









































will


you


 ever  


stop


being


so


fascinated


by


yourself









































while


love


might


bring


people


together


it


also


forces


them


apart









































you


can't


wait


you


can


close


your


eyes


hold


your


breath


stay


in


one


place


you're


still


moving












































you


can't


wait


you


can


close


your


eyes


hold


your


breath


stay


in


one


place


your


still


moving









































survived zen and partially deprogrammed



how


do


you


know


which


parts


are


zen


and


which


parts


are


you


how


do


you


separate


them


out


will


you


de


program


your


self


from


your


self


what


is


self


what


is


programmed


what


is


programmed


by


self









































stop


talking


he


said


i


want


to


fuck


you


instead









































suddenly


the


night


turned


sour


sex


raised


it's


ugly


head


held


me


captive


in


it's


power


till


i


went


off


to


bed









































he


wants


to


free


wheel


through


space


like


a


falling


star









































“ i



am


not



a


nice



person ”



isn't



being



a



nice



person


a



bit



of



a



fiction?




------------------ my reply




“ your


not


likeable, I AM


likeable ”


what


is


“ likeable ”


?


is


it


like


being


a


nice


person


?



I'M


not


likeable









































one


could


argue


a


swift


death


is


better


than


a


lifetime's


imprisonment









































i


want


to


whirl


like


a


dervish


dance


like


a


breeze


levitate


high


above


the


trees



sing


like


rapture


swim


through


the


stars


show


the


whole


world


this


love


of


our's









































what


does


moved


to


being


friends


mean


?


we


haven't


left


the


state









































what


does


“ moved


to


being


friends ”


mean


?


we


haven't


left


the


state









































you


whittled


away


so


much


of


me


to


get


the


shape


you


wanted


now


cry


at


the


pieces


cast


down


on


the


floor


you


got


what


you


wanted


not


less


but


more









































自 害


a


sword


wrapped


in


cloth


still


cuts




authors comments : i read they sometimes wrapped them in cloth so as not to cut their hands wanted that homily to also refer to words spoken softly still convey the same pain as if they are spoken harshly


kid gloves don't soften sort of thing









































自 害


a


sword


wrapped


in


cloth


still


cuts









































英 語


a


sword


wrapped


still


cuts









































英 語


a


sword


wrapped


still


cuts









































that


you


could


say


unreal


love


is


more


than


a


deeper


love


what


do


i


make


of


that









































that


you


could


say


unreal


love


is


more


than


a


deeper


love


what


do


i


make


of


that









































to


be


inside


my


body


know


my


brain


in


side


out


and


yet


not


know


me


feels


a


violation









































strange


and


timeless


this


grey


hour


between


night


and


dawn


the


body


slow


the


mind


disorientated









































you


can


share


a


history


with


someone


and


still


be


as


distant


as


strangers









































your


days


of


being


with


me


are


gone



i


have


to


retrieve


you


now









































does


passion


betray


common


sense


?









































if


betrayal


is


an


art


is


he


an


artiste









































semi


somnolent


 schizophrenic



securely


skewered


shards



 shit!









































semi


somnolent


schizophrenic



securely


skewered


shards



shit!









































i've


never


met


a


man


so


entertained


by


his


own


awaking









































when


you


let


the


blood run


damned


emotions


wash


away









































how


much


i


chip


away


at


myself









































oh


hold


me


tight


love!


for


as


surely


as


i'm


blooming


i'm


fading









































still


he


looks


and


fails


to


see


me


in


all


my


brilliancy



he'd


rather


it


her


or


any


other


SHE


though


my


common


sense


IS


a


savancy









































ambassadors


of


god


they


show


the


world


their


smiley


faces









































i


can't


take


you


with


me


when


i


go


to


bed


just


your


smell


on


my


skin


and


your


voice


in


my


head









































does


my


lover


know


me


not?


beneath


this


skull


what


i


have


got


is


a


good


brain


it's


quite


a


strain


to


re


inform


him


such


a


lot









































why


do


you


have


to


be


any


thing


why


can't


you


just


be