that don't warrant a page by themselves
or seem to fit better here
pending poems index
chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page
audio files can be complemented by listening to them with the eyes closed !
the
grass
watches
for
frosts
the
grass
for
frosts !
and
space
actually
constructs
if
people
investigate
them
they
replace
them
with
other
constructs !
the
point ?
is
like
dogen
talented
arsed !
is
like
dogen
extremely
talented
half -
arsed !
everything
makes
sense
until
we
come
to
die
and
then
it
makes
no
sense
at
all
it
doesn't
seem
to
figure
on
your
horizon
how
much
work
everything
is
and
the
degree
of
competence
required
to
stay
on
track
and
survive
yet
you
are
all
for
sliding
away
into
oblivion
when
the
competence
fails
through
lack
of
attention
insight
and
work
in
the
right
direction !
this
approach
characteristic
of
women
generally ?
probably !
there
is
an
insanity
that
comes
from
stupidity
by
far
the
most
normal
sort !
what
can
you
do
about
it ?
you
can't
free
them
but
you
can
free
yourself
sorta
there
is
an
insanity
that
comes
from
stupidity
by
far
the
most
normal
sort !
maybe
this
is
better
than
most
of
what
values
really
fundamentally
against
human
normative
views !
the
world
will
conform
to
you
because
are
the
world !
that's
the
the
world
will
conform
to
you
because
are
the
world !
i
take
a
long
time
to
do
anything
so
much
so
that
by
the
time
i
am
half
way
through
ground
has
shifted
christ
a
day
gone
and
what's
happened
but the comic is 2d and the product of someone else's mind, another universe and not real.
you accept the heightened and emotionally intensified 2D reality as real, that's the trick
your synchronisation with the emotional intensification is what leads you to accept the comic as real
same
for
movies !
the
difficulties
of
nothing
more
dangerous
than
a
woman
feeling
neglected
i
do
judge
right
or
wrong
by
effect
where
i
am
able
to
tell
it
meant
to
be
it
will
be
of
what
occurs
why
does
a
burnt
pot
always
have
more
to
scour ?
because
you
are
working
against
completion !
one
of
the
best
arguments
against
creationism
or
intelligent
design
is
there
is
no
of
handling
the
how
long
does
it
take
to
do
one
simple
thing ?
as
long
as
the
other
simple
things
get
in
the
way ! ?
if
religion
works
why
does
it
create
so
many
limp
brains ?
there
isn't
anything
except
else
exists
i
have
noticed
that
people
who
are
ill
or
have
disease
doom
themselves
by
inattention
and
plain
bloody
wrong
mindedness !
wether
they
were
always
this
way
or
have
this
malappropriateness
inducted
by
the
illness
or
disease
it's
hard
to
say
probably
a
combination
of
both
you
are
not
concious
of
it
but
all
your
work
goes
to
perpetuating
yourself !
you
have
a
major
issue
with
wanting
things
to
be
a
certain
way
distorting
how
you
are
seeing
them !
you
can
try
to
fix
something
but
something
else
erodes
on
you
then
your
health
erodes
and
that's
it
i'm not
one
of
these
people
who
does
anything
well
unending
messer
is
more
the
ticket
the
trouble
that
the
parents
of
autistic
children
have
is
despite
being
visited
with
a
deep
event
their
views
of
life
are
so
shallow
especially
the
americans !
the
virtue
of
a
bad
mistake
is
you
can
see
something
very
clearly
that
you
otherwise
wouldn't
have !
of
course
you
have
to
be
receptive
to
it
and
have
the
theories
of
mind
in
place
to
see
the
essence
of
the
problem !
zen
schizophrenia
sophisticated
schizophrenia
but
schizophrenia
the
less !
irwin
think
he
just
exhausted
with
living !
the
of
time
and
memory !
we
are
empty
vessels
looking
if
you
think
some-one
is
smart
it's
only
because
you
don't
know
enough
about
them !
i
had
a
vision
standing
on
the
beach
in
winter
i
saw
it
in
summer
winter
summer
winter
it
all
just
revolves
zen
enlightenment
just
all
bloody
bullshit !
there
i
said
it !
absolute
complete
bloody
crap !
zen
enlightenment
just
all
bloody
bullshit !
there
i
said
it !
absolute
complete
crap !
zen
enlightenment
just
all
bloody
bullshit !
absolute
complete
crap !
tom
cruise
a
supercilious
egoism
that
is
unattractive
imagine
paying
to
see
it !
sometimes
just
are
all
equal
when
we're
dead ”
i
don't
know
we
are
all
equal
when
we
are
dead
there's
no
a
start !
in this life
you
have
no
choice
but
to
be
mad !
no
matter
how
experienced
you
are
in
one
area
if
you
do
something
without
experience
or
caution
in
another
area
get
eaten !
i
think
women
have a
stronger
breeding
agenda
than
men !
a
preoccupation
with
apocalyptic
and
doomsday
scenarios
stem
from
a
misunderstood
personal
suicidalness !
you
need
somewhere
with
stronger
sun
and
less
viral !
perhaps
i
need
sun
as
well
and
you
need
some
heat !
no-
one
ever
reads
anything
that
doesn't
interest
them
their
problem !
charles
bukowski
some
through
life !
t.
w.
think
the
boss
was
joseph
born
not
to
be
trifled
with
by
any
means !
a
particularly
murderous
and
violent
bunch
bukowski
sure
picked
ripe
ones !
he
was
a
ripe
one
and
fitted
but
i
don't
think
he
would
have
lived
long
given
his
penchant
for
plumbing
the
extreme
of
any
situation !
is
not
conventional !
the
stars
always
moving !
even
the
moving !
living
poor
enables
me
to
write
what
i
want
without
having
to
be
madness
is
beautiful !
quantum
is
easy
to
see
in
DNA !
broken
is
quantum !
broken
is
alll
around
us !
broken
is
not
necessarily
worse
and
can
be
even
better !
all
around
us !
there
are
a
number
of
ingredients
to
a
successful
marriage
the
main
one
being
that
it
is
i
don't
really
think
there's
any
thing
in
this
line
been
written
for
three
or
four
hundred years !
the
last
being
la
i
don't
really
think
there's
any
thing
in
this
line
been
written
for
four
or
five
hundred years !
i
take
my
identity
explaining
LSD ?
enough
of
a
for
me !
i
don't
think
atheism
is
any
improvement
over
religion
except
some
variants
tolerate
dissent
better !
the
communist/
socialist
variant
doesn't !
we naturally do anyway
things
can
be
too
approximate
though !
o
actually
that's
how
it
is !
everything is approximate !
why
limp
when
you
can
run !
google !
university
arts
departments
are
the
first
refuge
the
untalented
conferences
are
to
intelligence !
be warned
it's pretty brutal
that's
as
violent
as
anything
you
will
ever
see
anywhere !
have never felt particularly in my body
literally do not feel particularly a body
people
are
impossible
to
deal
with !
getting
upset
over
the
slightest
things !
raging
plagiarist
NOT !
it's
really
weird
i
am
writing
so
much
i
have
inadvertently
entered
bukowski's
world
where
one
sacrifices
themselves
for
their
art !
the
only
thing
that
me is
it's
not
entire !
four
years
caught
in
infinities
stream
a
universe
fragments
SHIT !
i
always
was
the
living
dead !
“ this is where the dead go to dwell and apparently rot indefinitely ”
nothing new about zombies i am afraid, it makes me wonder about the extent to which it came from japan !
i hope this makes dogen fresh to you, it certainly did to me !
a
very
good
poem !
words
are
fickle
words
can
change
they
are
secondary
to
the
motives
that
make
life
the
beginning
real
unreal
and
neither
in
the
beginning
was
the
real
unreal
and
neither
you
can
be
tired
to
sleep !
species
extinction
all
that
identity
i
really
have a
different
attitude
one
is
mucking
around
until
one
dies
i
don't
know
what
has
changed ?
what
i
really
don't
understand
is
how
things
take
so
long
to
do !
i
regret
to
say
i
have
really
only
learnt
things
by
things
going
wrong !
there's
no
normality
it's
better
to
take
something
that
half
works
rather
than
try
at
something
that
works
because
it
won't
work
at
all !
life
is
not
some
single
problem
that
if
it
were
fixed
everything
would
come
right !
.
.
.
.
it's an unending
succession
of
problems
with
no
resolution
and
most
are
undefined !
every
three
or
four
years
you
get
a
major
insight
to
something
that
has
been
puzzling
you
your
life !
people
get
trapped
in
situations
should
be
able
to
with
dignity
their
own
choice !
on the brain
i wonder if alcoholics self medicate for schizophrenia since schizophrenic's seem to suffer from an oveready formation of memory, a lack of neural winnowing so to speak ?
charles bukowski is a puzzle, one of the all time great minds and poets, yet he was a chronic alcoholic
modern
life
is
so
overloaded
and
fraught
with
complexity
you
just
have
to
pare
out
what
is
called
junk
and
time
wasting !
i
think
you
need
to
have
almost
died
or
been
killed
at
least
twice
in
your
lifetime
to
have
any
sense
about
it !
the
amount
of
energy
just
needed
to
get
through
the
morning
is
incredible !
men
and
women
they
are
they ?
it's
not
fun
to
have
an
arsehole
you !
doesn't
stop
them
an
arsehole !
charles
bukowski
he
had
something
a
cast
of
brain !
something
special
that
alcohol
couldn't
defeat !
there
are
times
that
i
feel
like
i
am
going
to
die
and
times
that
i
don't
i
don't
say
i
am
not
going
to
die
but
sometimes
i
feel
that
way !
if
you
take
enough
time
you
can
rebuild
anything !
you
can't
really
speak
in
terms
of
remedying
the
world
or
righting
people
who
are
in
your
view
wrong
the
world
is
unremediable
and
people
don't
change !
if
you
ever
want
to
see
total
umitigated
bulllshit
look
at
an
advertisment !
the
world
and
the
web
are
of
madmen !
de
cervantes
by
the
moors
and
lost the use of his left arm in the
battle
of
lepanto
the original
of
action
makes
look
like
dried
milk !
there's
a
dull
edge
to
bukowski
much
drink !
sexual versus asexual reproduction !
there
is
this
huge
gap
between
creative
their
followers
and
detractors !
Dogen
was
the
commentaters
are
ogres
and
gnomes !
inherently
limited
in
the
viewpoint
to
want
to
be
one
and
stay
there!
i've
lost
my
enthusiasm
for
life
everything
just
seems
fatigue
and
weariness
returning
circles
god
not
omnipotent ! ”
the
gap
between
those
doing
creative
work
and
those
doing
commentary
there's
just
hell
of
a
gap !
a very confused justifying
of
the
suicidalness !
most of them would die if the car became dirty or the lawn got overgrown
women
even
if
they
love
you
they
still
have
an
overwhelming
need
for
sex
that
will
lead
them
to
stray
if
they
are
not
getting
enough !
why
doesn't
prayer
or
meditation
work
by
itself ?
because
we
are
too
incomplete
by
ourselves !
there
is
no
last
word !
you
can
get
things
very
right
super-
competence
in
one
area
can
lead
to a
lack
of
caution
in
other
areas !
sanity
was
hakuin's
limitation
and
somewhat
mixed
strength !
most
of
my
life
has
been
celibate
it
does
give
an
intention
and
lack
of
purpose
in
the
world
that
is
to
simulate !
you can tell from his writing he never did seated meditation, he was sane : o )
i also think you have a strong intuitive understanding, that perhaps has been lost sight of
i don't sit, too adhd to sit anyway,
but have spent many years by myself, pretty much a hermit, imo sitting is a toxic facsimile of solitude
sitting seems to induct a sort of schizophrenia
i
put
it
this
way
dogen
is
plain
wrong
in
a
lot
of
instances
and
only
really
started
to
become
clearly
right
towards
the
end
of
his
life !
he's
not
a
rock
he's
quicksand
that
soto
zen
has
sunk
into !
hakuin
is
definitely
more
sane
imo !
women
some
like
you
some
dislike
you
you
can
change
like
to
dislike
but
not
dislike
to
like !
paul
may
have
been
a
real
person
the
idea
of
christ
a
s
a person
came
after
paul
with
valentinus
often
not
right ”
all
one
has
to
do
is
see
that
and
temper
one's
aggression
and
certainty
about
being
right !
valentinus
gospel
of
truth
!
!
you
say
life
was
about ? ”
it
was
about
what
you
give
your
attention
to
and
what
you
don't ! ”
on
the
rare
occasions
we
get
exactly
what
we
want
we
are
introduced
into
an
unusually
wide
view
of
the
pro's
and
cons !
the
man
that
got
involved !
they
look
at
it
they
get
frightened
it
doesn't
fit !
that's
how
they
keep
inside !
the
of
men
for
women
is
not
mirrored
in
return
captivated
as
they
are
by
babies
and
children !
the
of
men
for
women
is
not
mirrored
in
return
captivated
as
women
are
by
babies
and
children !
poor
old
hank
slave
rebellions
never
work !
i
could
talk
forever
wether
you
would
want
that
is
a
different
question
too
continuous
compared
to
through
the
looking
glass !
one
just
feels
one
is
running
forwards
at
a
million
miles
an
hour
how
do
i
stop !
there
is
this
sort
of
fusion
between
imaginary
reality !
that
was
one
of
the
best
things
i
have
ever
written
though
i
don't
understand
why
the
superintense
melding
of
two
very
autistic
videos ?
old
eyes !
mother
teresa
said
of
princess
di
have
been
happier ”
a
falling
apart
brain
undermines
any
happiness !
but
she
doesn't
stretch
herself !
not
everything
i
write
is
technically
correct
it's
just
not
fair
you
are
so
young
and
so
dumb
and
have
all
the
advantages !
the
problem
of
modern
life
is
just
compression
with
no
opportunity
for
decompression !
am
afraid
in
my
old
age
i
have
learnt
that
the
world
is
not
a
place
anyone
else
right !
i haven't had any involvement with zen since about 1992, but it is only now i can see them for what they are, deluded and self deluded schizophrenic nutters !
basically
a
one
way
trap !
i quite like this
“ hell might afford my miseries a shelter;
therefore hell keeps her ever-hungry mouths all
bolted against me. ”
if there were a heaven and hell i wouldn't even get an entry to limbo!
even before death the brain gets irreversibly damaged !
try reading stanislaw lem's “the futurological congress” which actually deals with some of the issues !
good
fiction
cyronics
is
poor
and
incredibly
misguided
fantasy !
normality
a
very
limited
universe
intensity !
can
a
nuclear
power
station
by
terrorist
or
enemy
action
be
converted
into
an
ongoing
dirty
bomb ?
i
think
the
answer
is
YES !
have
no
theory
of
mind
you
make
ghastly
messes
university
academics
snakes
it
the
system
that
makes
them
this
way
or
were
they
always
this
way ?
i
don't
know !
witness
suburban
apocalypse
jehovah's
witness
apocalypse !
apocalyptic
thinking
some
external
apocalypse
is
needed
to
replace
the
personal !
bukowski
other
dimension
on
sex
and
women
heavy
price
for
the
loss!
language
is
like
a
vehicle
it's
carrying
thoughts
i
think
it's
the
thoughts
that
matter !
how
to
spread
terror
a
concept
that
reduces
grown
men
to
tears !
mainly
because
they
didn't
know
about
it
and
it's
more
work
than
they
are
prepared
to
put
in
on
their
mower !
plug
indexing !
apocalypticism
is
a
form
of
displaced
and
not
so
displaced
suicidalness !
the
jehovah's
witnesses
issues
membership
suicides
are
mormons
apocalyptians?
everyone
else
seems
to
be
apocalyptians !
no
i
don't
think
so
are
not
suicidal
enough !
it's
like
jehovah's
witnesses
you
are
looking
for
apocalypse
in
the
wrong
place !
it's
there
in
daily
life !
unpalatable ?
artistic
type
thinking
in
combination
with
detail
figure
work
is
very
powerful
but
either
by
themselves
are
weak
in
terms
of
real
world
functioning!
seem
leave
female
perspective !
the not woman in you naturally leaves being a woman
i
have
this
strong
problem
of
impulse
buying
in
depth
research
of
the
product
before
buying
goes
a
long
way
to
sorting
this
out
superficial
looks
always
misleading !
why
does
it
take
so
long
to
do
something
simple
like
dress ?
come
to
them
they
come
to
me ”
is
what
is
really
hard
for
males
to
understand
they
are
basically
for
females !
there
are
natural
webs
and
gravitational
inclines
already
laid !
prince
wiliam
and
his
newly
wedded
wife
they
look
terrifyingly
i
have
wasted
large
portions
of
my
life
on
things
i
thought
were
significant
but
in
fact
the
time
was
inopportunely
spent !
there's
no
fool
like
an
fool !
now if only they would turn the radio off and get out of the car!
it's
all
the
fucking
same
too
much
human
nature
you
are
stupid
and
not
very
interesting
your
main
interest
is
the
degree
of
stupidity
belligerence
egocentricity
and
passive
aggression
as
i
said
very
interesting !
every
time
a
man
and
a
woman
have
sex
the
woman
gets
the
better
of
the
man !
almost zero mice this winter
the cats are getting a bit well fed and aggressive tho !
they
say
it
but
don't
it
or
live
it !
what
i
like
about
your
self
you
can
move
at
your
own
pace
and
follow
your
own
interests
and
necessities
and
actually
your
subject !
one
size
fits
all
approach
of
schools
and
universities
barely
works
and
actually
doesn't
when
you
look
at
the
vast
majority
of
what
they
turn
out !
is
very
only
comes
you
put
a
frame
on
it !
it's
a fraught
process
like
everything
else !
some of histories greatest minds like leonardo da vinci and johann goethe have been able to straddle both worlds !
i should have added sir henry neville to this list, he really wrote the plays ascribed to shakespeare, he was a polymath and quite a different character to shakespeare
i notice that artists who focus exclusively on their art suffer, usually their health
they die miserably and leave lovely works to posterity
way
i
feel
about
humans
they
can
all
stuffed !
jehovah's
witnesses
sillies
apocalypse
clean
cars
and
mowen
lawns !
earworm
away
don't
even
come
another
day
the
over
50s
male
sulking
kitten
to
be
looked
after !
this
stuff
takes
so
much
time
hurts !
this
stuff
so
much
time
hurts !
if
you
are
the
obvious
suspect
don't
commit
the
murder !
adults
are
about
as
malleable
as
steel !
when
i
open
my
mouth
and
say
what
i
think
people
want
to
kill
me
so
it's
i
keep
quiet
it's
so
common
to
criticize
something
without
having
any
skills
or
experience
in
that
particular
area !
actually if
you
have
the
experience
and
skills
it
all
moves
anyway
and
doesn't
come
cross
as
criticism !
couples
that
are
too
similar
are
competing
in
the
same
areas
and
providing
skills
in
the
same
areas
but
what's
needed
is
skills
in
different
areas !
so
what
is
it ?
you
know
we're
here
and
then
we
are
not !
what
is
that ?
thinking
of
my
Pauls
death !
people
liking
your
poetry
or
having
almost
meaningless
it's
not
why
you
write
poetry
and
it's
not
really
poetry
it's
a
form
of
thinking
and
memory
the
mutation
that
follows
is
why
you
write !
talking
about
the
constant
fragmentation
of
attention
the
being
bound
up
in
the
necessity
of
keeping
a
multitude
of
things
working
or
pay
the
consequences !
constant
fragmentation
of
attention
being
bound
up
in
the
necessity
of
keeping
a
of
things
working !
my
stuff
on
zen
it's
really
just
a
lot
of
gritty
detail
on
what
very
sophisticated
con
artistry !
involvement
means
more
need
to
dis-
illusioning !
my
god !
are
so
a
bunch
of
mules
braying
✵ ✵
it's
funny
the
way
the
world
against
you !
you
can
see
quite
a
bit
by
starlight
you
can
see
quite
a
bit
by
can
you
visualize
the
void ?
it
be
yes !
you
can
ask
but
reply
is
a
reply !