The High Board Gathers the Mushroom Destroyers
After the miserible failures of past armies, the High Board decided that what they needed was experience. The ex-Secret Service had given up the names of the Mushroom Destroyers, and no one was more skilled at fighting Mushrooms than them.
Their first pick was Jack Smith, who was easily found in his gun shop in the only existing part of New York City.
Their next target was the Commander. Sources told them that he has dissapeared into the forests of West Virginia. After questioning and bribing the locals, they discovered that he lived in an estate far away from civilization. He was picked up by helicopter, the only method by which his estate could be reached. The governent swore that Ericson would not be in the new Mushroom Destroyers, and that if the Commander wouldn't come with them that they would put a price on his life.
They next searched for John Doe, who was living in a huge mansion because of his ownership of the Doe Medical Plan. He said that he couldn't come (they didn't want him as badly as the Commander), but he recommended (along with his health plan) his best student from when he had taught at medical school. The student, who was at the time looking for a miliatary job as a medical officer, was Jane Smith, the sister of Jack Smith (see above). The governemnt agents stopped to see her and she volunteered immediately.
Peter Ericson was touring with the Ringling Brothers' Circuis in Mexico City as a clown. He gladly accepted becase he would get to see his friend the Commander again, so he accepted the job without pay. He also gave the name of a scientist he knew who was also in the circuis as a memebr of Dr. Jenyes' Kazoo Quartet. Jose Geofuentez was a member of the group of Mexican astrophysicists who formed a Kazoo band and traveled with the circuis and a chiwawa named Senior Smiley. Jose and Ericson knew each other from Clown College. Jose agreed to go as long as he could take Senior Smiley with him. The rest of the group begged him not to take the dog, but Jose wanetd to help save his planet, and he couldn't work without the chiwawa.
Next on the list was David Reeman, but they found that he had died a horrible firey death in a car accident in Austin, Texas. They next found a record of Reeman's credit card used to buy 14 packages of index cards three days after his supposed death, and he had for some reason signed as John Jackson. The name of John Jackson was traced to an apartment in Las Vegas that was shared with Rob Stone, who had been a friend of David Reeman in High School and College. John Jackson did not admit to being Reeman, but did say that he had been in The Mushroom War. Rob Stone was a hacker who stole money from credit card companies from his computer at the apartment. He was needed to possibly break into Mushroom computer security, and the government promised not to prosecute if he would come with them.
The High Board Meets The Mushroom Destroyers
Now that all known living Mushroom Destroyers had been collected, the High Board decided to have a meeting with them to make plans for the war. The Mushroom Destroyers were milling about, talking about their memories of the war. Smith introduced Dr. Geofuentez to the High Board, and Dr. Geofuentez introduced his dog.
"Senior Smiley, say 'Hello'," said Jose.
"Woof woof," said Senior Smiley
"Senior Smiley says 'Hello'," translated Jose.
The Commander noticed that the chair next to his was labeled "Reserved for Peter Ericson." He questioned the High Board, who replied, "Sure, we got Ericson, and he demanded to sit next to you." At this point, the Commander took a gun off of the table and pointed it at his head. "Either he goes or I go!" he screamed. The High Board told him that he could leave at any time, but there could be an unpleasent accident in the near future. "I mean I'm going to kill myself, idiots!"
"Go ahead," came the reply.
The Commander pulled the trigger, and the bang echoed off of the walls and high, domed ceilings of the High Board's chamber. The Commander collapsed onto the floor.
Then he got up and noticed that he was still alive, as far as he could tell.
"Hey, I must be in Hell. There's Ericson!"
Sure enough, Ericson had just entered the room. "No! No! Away, Satanic beast!!"
"Hi, Commander. I see you've been playing with my "Real Sound Effect Gun" ®
The Commander began beating himslef over the head with the toy gun.
"Ericson, you fool!" he wept, "Why must you always thwart my attempts to rid myself of you!"
The High Board meeting began.
More to come soon!
Last Modificaion: Friday, September 3
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