As a light fades and silence settles in
The knife grows warm in my hand
I turn my song up louder on the stereo
So no one can hear my tears
The messages give a moment of hope
Until I realise that its all for nothing
Carefully I hold the blade
Resting it on my skin
The memories surface and fade
Scars reminding me all too often
Of mistakes and love
I don’t feel it cut the first time
All I feel is the release of emotion the blood takes with it
My cries muted by the bass of our song
The second one hurts more, but the pain in my heart hides it
The third time I lay the knife on the floor
Lying on my dark green sheets
I stare at the roof, shadows playing games
I smile, if only for a second, it relieves me
I wipe the blood away
Tomorrow they’ll be life the rest
Mere cat scratches revealing nothing
A restless sleep follows, I wake wondering
About the next time you say you love me
Mallery-Clare 2004
16-DEC-04
