Advice on hands.
Over at the Gutshot website, co-proprietor Barry 'the bully' Martin offers advice on hands to those who ask for it, in a section of the site called 'Beat the Bully' ("Got a Scenario for the Bully? Unsure whether your play was right in the comp last night? You got a question? Put it to the Bully!"). As of today, there are 17 entries in the archives and all of them relate to situations in tournaments or satellites. For sure, the come-on text I quote above does mention comps, but it doesn't limit itself to them. Does nobody have any curiosity about cash play?

I find this rather frustrating, as to me it exemplifies the 'poker=tournaments' mentality that plagues this country and has held back the game's growth for so long. It ought to surprise me that nobody has asked a question regarding a hand in a cash game, but alas it doesn't. I've checked all 17 questions to prove that they are all tournament related, but I knew that they would be before I even looked at the first one. Why? Well it's because in all the years that I've looked at the advice being requested on the Hendon Mob, I've rarely seen any questions about cash play and I've never seen anyone ask a question about one of the most defining tests of professional poker play: game selection.

The Victoria is now getting full at some point every night. That means a choice of seven games to those who have the right resources. I don't want to take the risks required in the #250 dealers most of the time, so for me there are six games: three #50 hold'em games and three games of either #100 omaha or #100 hold'em. Some nights it's two omaha games, other nights it's two hold'em games. It all depends on demand.

Faced with this choice, it's essential to be in the right game and that's where managing the lists is so important. To be a true pro, you should know who the wild players, who the rocks are and who the tricky players are. Not only that, but you should know their initials, so that you can spot how good a game is going to be by seeing who is on the list to play after someone leaves the game you are interested in. There is little point in being 7th on the list for what is now a great game if the 6 people on the list in front of you are all rocks or tricky. Equally, it can be worthwhile to be low on the list for what is a mediocre game now, if the people next on the list are complete maniacs.

To take matters a level further, it helps to know the movement patterns of your prey. Certain people never stay late, so you know that if you see them in a game at 10.30, it's likely that their seat will become available soon. Others only stay late if they are chasing, so if they are still there at midnight, it could mean that they are on tilt and much more value than would normally be the case.

So what I'm waiting for is a question like this on a forum somewhere:

Title: 'Question for the Mob (or Barry Martin, John Duthie, Harry Demetriou etc)

Question: 'I was in an adequate but not great #100 omaha game at 9.50 last night. I had VH on my right, who is a dead seat but always quits at either 10.30 or 11.00. A #100 hold'em game was just about to start and I saw many people I've not seen before waiting for it to start. That's usually a good sign, but often beginners don't sit down with a great deal of money and there was plenty on the table that I was on. Mr H. was totally smashed as usual and was third on the list for my game, but was also on the list for a #250 dealers if that started. There were three other names on the list for #250 dealers, however once his initials hit the whiteboard it was likely that others would follow, if they had the money for it. There didn't seem to be many people who played that size in the room, but a couple of possible takers were in the restaurant and if they dropped in to the card room on the way down and saw him, they would immediately want to play.

I thought that it would be a good idea to go into the hold'em in preference to the omaha game that I was in, because even though the beginners don't always have a lot of chips to start with, they do sometimes start pulling up hundreds and play loose until they have a large stack, rather as though it were a rebuy competition. But I didn't want to leave the omaha game if there was a possibility that Mr H. would take part.

What is to be done? If I go to the #100 game, I miss the chance to play Mr H. later, but if I stay he might never come to the game if the #250 dealers starts. Brian tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if I wanted to move to the new hold'em game. What should I have done?"

That's the sort of dilemma that any Vic regular will recognise. Yet I never see it discussed on any forum.

Here's another situation I had last week. I was in a great #100 hold'em game at 1.00am and was asked whether I wanted to stay another hour. I had gone to bed at 2.30am the previous day, so I was probably only likely to stay for one more hour, two at the absolute maximum. However, the man who had just moved to my immediate left had a stinking cold - sneezing and spluttering every two minutes. Should that affect my decision?

In the end I decided that it should and quit the game. It wasn't worth risking a cold that knocked me out of action for a week in exchange for only one or two more hours of play in a good game. At times it amuses me to think that poker players pay money per hour to sit at a table with their heads adjacent to others in a way that would be regarded as a health and safety hazard in any office! Why do we tolerate people with colds playing live in the age of online poker. Tell them to go home!

And while we're at it, don't get me started on people who don't wash their hands when they go to the toilets. I can't count the number of times I've said to people 'But we're using the same cards and chips you know'.

If you think I'm being fussy, wait until you meet David Ulliott, an absolute hygiene fanatic. He once asked the floor manager at the Amsterdam casino to tell everyone who visited the bathroom during the break to wash their hands and got a round of applause for it! It's pathetic that grown-ups have to be told this. David refuses to take paper towels from the toilet attendents in the bathrooms at casinos. He doesn't want someone else's hands touching the paper he dries his with. Now there's some valuable free hand advice from one of the UK's leading card players!