The Doctor rested Bobby’s head on her knee as she nursed him back into consciousness. “What I really need right now is a nice cup of tea.” She stood up quickly and Bobby’s head hit the console room floor. “I know just the place to visit, I hope he’s glad to see me. He’s in for quite a shock when he sees how different this me is from the me he met.” The Doctor quickly set the TARDIS controls before returning to attend to her snoozy companion. “All done, you just take your time Bobby, I’m here for when you wake up. I know, I’ll just go and water the plants.”

Debbie handed Webbi a snack bar from the battered meal machine she had found propping open the secondary console room door. “Does it taste like houseflies and beetles?”
“Yes.” Webbi chewed the unusual food item. “I can even taste the wing casings of the beetles. This may provide a short term solution in between landings.”
“Good, it does take time to travel between planets. I tried asking the Doctor about that yesterday but she said that she didn’t have time to explain. Can you swim?”
“Only if I possess someone who can swim.” All eight legs had a natural fear of water, their minds may be second to none, well maybe the Doctor’s, but their bodies were not nearly as adapted to the bipedal form.
“I used to be able to swim but now I just sink to the bottom of the pool and the Doctor has to drag me out. She says she likes to pretend she’s Pamela Anderson in her red swimsuit. I think she’s just too polite to say something about me not being able to drown.” Debbie dialled up another food bar. “We may as well leave this device here, the Doctor has a whole kitchen devoted to her teapot collection. I’m sure she can find some room in there to prepare food too.”

The room was empty when the Doctor emerged from the TARDIS; she waved at the little goldfish in their tank and tapped lightly on the glass before turning her attention to more serious matters. The ship had a wonderful device for creating matter out of a basic organic compound. She wanted to make sure that the technology was all that it was cracked up to be. “Two teas dear, Earl Gray, hot, one lump in mine and one sugar too.” The thing bleeped in acknowledgement of the Doctors command and seconds later two cups of tea formed in the machine. Carefully the Doctor sipped one cup, this had no sugar in it so she wiped her lipstick off of the rim and took a sip from the other cup. “Ah yes, that hits the spots. I wonder how long he’ll be?” The Doctor sat down in his chair and waited for him to make an appearance. She didn’t have to wait long when the single door swooshed open and he walked into his ready room.
“Who are you?” Captain Jean-Luc Picard looked at the oddly dressed blonde haired female sitting in his chair. “This isn’t one of your practical jokes is it Q?”
The Doctor pointed across at the TARDIS. “You don’t remember me? No of course you don’t. How silly of me. You remember the TARDIS though, don’t you? You remember the tall curly haired man with the silly scarf and the toothy grin? Well that was me; I’ve changed a bit since then. One mellows with age you know, like a fine bottle of ginger pop.”
“You’re the Doctor?” Captain Picard could not see how this woman could be the Doctor. “I don’t…”
“Believe it.” The Doctor replied waspishly. “I’m me, listen to my hearts if you don’t believe me. I have two of them; I even remembered how you take your tea. Drink up Jean-Luc, I’ve got a lot to ask of you.”
Picard cautiously sipped his tea. “Earl Gray, but anyone who knows me knows that this is my drink of choice. You’ll have a lot more explaining to do that that if you want to convince me of your true identity.”
“Ask that nice CMO of yours to do an analysis of me with that quaint little device of hers. How is Beverly by the way? I must have a long chat with her some time and find out how she is.”
“Well if you’re agreeable to a test I don’t see why we can’t perform a quick scan in here. No offence Doctor, but it’s a little hard for me to believe that a six and a half foot man can turn into a five and a half foot woman.”
The Doctor smiled and sipped her tea. “If I told you, I don’t think you’d believe me, most people don’t. It’s called regeneration, by my people.”


Bobby opened his eyes to see Debbie standing over him. “I had the strangest dream, I was outside and then I was back in here and there was this huge spider.”
“She prefers the term eight legs.” Debbie quickly corrected Bobby. “Webbi really is a very nice person once you get to know her.”
“Who’s Webbi?” Bobby got to his feet with Debbie’s help. “Oh my head, I feel woozy.”
“That will be the shock.” Debbie explained. “Don’t worry, it’ll pass. Tell me how quickly can you get over your fear of arachnids? Webbi shouldn’t have to be made to confine herself to her room just because of an emotion.”
“She’s real?” Bobby gasped. “I think I need to sit down, before I pass out.”


Dr Crusher and Commander Troi entered the Captains ready room on command. “Ah good, now Dr Crusher you examined a gentleman known as the Doctor two years ago did you not?”
“Yes Captain.” Beverly replied. “What’s the matter? Is this woman another member of his species? I must tell you he had a lot of unusual readings.”
“Scan her please. I’ll explain once you’ve done an analysis. Counsellor Troi, I would like you to see if you can sense anything unusual about our guest.”
Dr Crusher scanned the blonde woman. “These are most unusual results, she’s definitely the same species at the Doctor, these results, they’re almost identical, only the lack of any Y chromosomes stands out. If I didn’t know better I’d say that she is the same person as the Doctor.”
“I’m not sensing anything Captain.” Deanna reported. “She’s blocking my powers without even trying.”
“Was the Doctor able to do that Counsellor?”
“Yes, he said that it was a Time Lord gift.”
“That Rassilon imparted upon all my people.” The Doctor could barely stop herself from grinning like the Cheshire cat. “I told you Jean-Luc, I am the Doctor.”
“So it seems.” Picard looked at his two senior scientific officers. “The Doctor informed me that one of her companions is suffering from a concussion and stress, I would like the two of you to examine him, to make sure he’s in good health.”
“He’s just inside the console room, the poor thing had quite a nasty fright. He’s afraid of spiders, he saw a five foot one on the planet we just visited and I’m worried about his psyche.”
“Of course Doctor, now what was this favour you wanted to ask of me?” Picard listened as the Doctor outlined her plan.


Debbie looked up as two women entered the console room. “Hello, I’m Debbie. Can I help you?”
“I’m Beverly and this is Deanna.” The red haired surgeon shook hands with the Doctor’s companion. “This must be Bobby, the Doctor asked us to give you the once over.”
Bobby groaned as one of the women started to examine him with a strange sort of scanner. “What’s wrong with me? It’s the headaches and the blackouts isn’t it?”
“You have a slight concussion, I can fix that here and now.” Beverly used a sonic probe to relieve the swelling over the brain and repaired any cell damage too. “There, all done.”
Debbie approached the dark haired woman. “Excuse me, I wonder if you could help me examine another of our friends? She’s in her room. Webbi will be so delighted to see you.” Debbie knew that Bobby couldn’t see Webbi in her natural state so she borrowed a body for her to wear.
Bobby let the ginger surgeon reset his broken ribs, as the Doctor had apparently made a small error in setting them for him. “Oooh, that feels much better.” Bobby thanked Beverly for her skill and handiwork.
Debbie returned with the dark haired counsellors body. “Ah good, shall we go and see what the Doctor is up to? Ten minutes without us and she gets into the most perilous scrapes.”
“Yes.” Webbi agreed, using Deanna’s voice.
“Ladies first.” Bobby said with a flourish. “Nothing sexist, but I’m the one with the key to lock the ship up with.”


Captain Picard shook his head. “No Doctor, the prime directive forbids me to but in on any planet that is not a member of the Federation.”
“Debbie is their queen, their representative. The Bliss has a strangle hold on her people; it is feeding off of them, renewing its vitality for another assault on the galaxy. In time it will grow so large as to threaten the entire Universe. We have to stop it now, while its weak and vulnerable. It’s the only way or every single person on Nekket 3 will die and their blood will be on our hands.”
“We cannot interfere Doctor.”
“The Bliss has already interfered in Nekket 3’s natural evolution. You’ll only be resetting it back to normal. Tell him you need his help Debbie, he’s being difficult.”
Debbie looked at the almost bald captain. “The Bliss is real Captain, my people will die as it feeds upon them or worse, it will corrupt them, infect them, turn them into living tools to help achieve its goal of wiping out all life in the Universe, of becoming the Universe. The Doctor has encountered this creature many times this past year, she knows what she’s talking about.”
“You’re asking me to intercede to save your people from an unseen alien threat? A mysterious entity that controls the minds of others to do its will? What sort of evil thing would possess an innocent person just to do their bidding?”
“That doesn’t automatically make it evil…Captain.” Webbi spoke up.
“That’s true Counsellor, but I do suspect its motives.”
The Doctor looked across at Deanna’s body. “Webbi?” She whispered.
Webbi nodded in return. “It was the only way I could move about the ship without generating fear.”
The TARDIS doors opened and a small pink coloured tin dog emerged outside into the ready room. “Please identify yourself.”
“She’s called K-9.” The Doctor explained to the others. “She’s very friendly once you get to know her.”
“Hey, I was wondering when you’d finish that thing, you’ve been working on it for months now.” Bobby had spent many, many, hours handing the Doctor her work tools when she was building the thing.
Debbie knelt down. “Hello, I’m Debbie.”
“Mistress Debbie, I am K-9 mark 4.” K-9 spoke in a synthesised female voice.
“Please identify yourself.” K-9 looked at the human male.
“I’m Bobby, are you really a robot dog?”
“My appearance is based on the Earth species Canis but I am a highly advanced computational unit, armed to defend the Doctor Mistress and her companions.”
“That’s a nice dog.” Debbie patted K-9 on her head. “Who’s a good girl then? I used to have a cat when I was alive. I like pets.”
“I am not a pet Mistress Debbie.”
“You’ve upset her.” The Doctor said quietly to Debbie. “You’d better appologise.”
“I am sorry K-9, I did not mean to upset you so.”
“Apology accepted mistress.”
Beverly looked at Deanna. “Quite an interesting cross-section of friends don’t you think?”
“Yes.” Webbi replied with Deanna’s voice.
“Why don’t you take our guests to guest quarters?” Captain Picard asked Counsellor Troi.
“Of course Captain.” Webbi didn’t have a clue where they were at but luckily the Doctor helpfully took her arm and guided her assumed body in the right direction.
“Thanks for helping support my bad hip Counsellor.” The Doctor lied. “You’re such a nice young lady. If you get to my age you’ll understand that one’s muscles can seize up a little.”
“You don’t look that old.” Webbi generously commented.
“I’m on the wrong side of 2062 my dear with another birthday fast approaching.”
Bobby and Debbie followed the Doctor while K-9 trundled along beside Debbie’s ankles, accidentally bumping into them occasionally as if she was being controlled by remote control and getting interference from passing taxi’s from time to time.


Picard looked at his first officer. “What did you make of her Will? Is she anything at all like the Doctor we met before?”
“Well if you accept what she said about her species being able to change their bodies at the point of death and renew themselves, maybe. She’s certainly very different in many ways but also similar in other ways too. The things she said, things that only the Doctor could know and Dr Crusher confirms she’s the same hybrid species of human and some other race we haven’t met yet.”
“She has two hearts Captain, if I didn’t know better I’d swear she was half Klingon.”
“She’s not Klingon, even I can see that.” Geordi LaForge joked. “What I mean is that she doesn’t have the same sort of feel about her that a Klingon or even a half-Klingon woman would have. The only other person who has the same feel about her is the Doctor. Either they are the same person or they’re very closely related.”
“My DNA analysis confirms Geordi’s analysis.” Beverly looked at her medical tricorder. “She is the Doctor, whether we believe it or not.”
Data looked at the screen showing the guest quarters. “Taking body mannerisms into account I predict with a 84.9 percent probability that she is the Doctor but 100% that that is not Counsellor Troi.”
“What?” Will Riker asked in astonishment.
“Please explain Mr Data.”
“I need to do further analysis but a preliminary study indicates that Counsellor Troi never stands around with her hands on her hips.”
Riker looked at his one time girl friend. “Data’s right, that’s not the Deanna Troi I’ve known for the last 15 years.”


Webbi didn’t know what to do with this body, it had unusual abilities and she kept accidentally reading the minds of her friends. Debbie was only interested in whatever she was looking at at the time, the Doctor’s mind was a constant maelstrom of ideas and information and tea bags while Bobby’s mind seemed to be thinking about how to repair the brake line on his motorcycle, how the food replicator worked, whether he should have a shave and if he needed to change his socks this month. This was not true telepathy Webbi realised; she was only sensing the feelings of her friends. “That Captain guy is approaching us.”
The doors opened and Picard and two security guards entered the room.
“Ah Captain, good.”
“Save it Doctor, what have you done to Counsellor Troi?”
“I’m perfectly fine Captain.” Webbi spoke up. “We’re all fine.”
“You’re not Deanna Troi, the sensors indicate that you’re some sort of neural parasite infecting her mind. Are you The Bliss?”
“Ah. No.” The Doctor stood in front of Webbi’s borrowed body. “My friend Webbi is very afraid of people not accepting her true appearance so the poor thing borrowed the body of Deanna. She’ll return it once she’s finished with it, there will be no damage to her body I give you my guarantee. Webbi’s very nice and not hostile in any way.”

Webbi thought that the security cell was rather dull and boring, why they couldn’t brighten the place up with a few webs was beyond her. “I’m not dangerous.” She said for the fifteenth time. “I just borrowed this body so I could blend in. I’ll return it before we go.”
Captain Picard looked at the body of Deanna. “Release Counsellor Troi and then we can talk.”
“You’ll be afraid of me, Bobby is afraid of my appearance. Nobody likes how I look except the Doctor and Debbie and that’s only because Debbie’s brain has been scrambled by the Bliss.”
“I like Webbi, she’s very ticklish.” Debbie stood up for her friend. “Don’t condemn her just because she has eight limbs, I though you wanted to meet nice people?”
“We do, but possessing one of my senior staff is not only against regulations it’s also technically an act of war.”
“War?” Webbi exclaimed. “I hate fighting, it’s so uncivilised. I was right Debbie; they really are very primitive people. I’ll wait inside the TARDIS.” She pulled herself out of the body she had just gotten comfortable wearing.
Captain Picard watched as the figure of a large spider materialised on Deanna’s back before jumping off onto the Spartan bench that also served as a bed. “Are you hurt Counsellor?”
“N…no. It was strange, like a dream. I felt her in my mind, controlling me but I also felt her thoughts, she has no malice towards any of us. She meant what she said about being friendly. She’s also petrified that people would harm her because she looks different to what we do.”
“I see.” Captain Picard said after a short while. “Well I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable on the Enterprise.”
“Captain, perhaps she could possess my body once more? If we link minds I can let her read my mind, she can learn of the Federation and our principles.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea Counsellor.”
Debbie left the two people talking and went to go and explore the arboretum that they had passed before.
“She’s terrified Captain, she’s more afraid than I’ve ever known. I think that she’ll die of fright Captain, she just cannot cope being around so many bipedal species at once.”
“Can we transport her straight to my ready room?”
Deanna was also a Starfleet commander as well as a trained psychiatric counsellor; she knew her ship backwards and upside down. “Without a detailed medical scan from Dr Crusher it would be too much of a risk. I’d like to volunteer to become the host for her at least until we can get her back to the safety of the Doctors ship.”
“I don’t agree Counsellor.”
“I know you’re looking out for me Captain but as ships counsellor I must insist, I must do what’s best for my patient. You can court-martial me later if you like but I won’t put a patient’s life in danger.”
“Very well then Counsellor, however I must insist that a security guard remains with you until this Webbi individual releases control of your body back to you.”
“I understand Captain, she’d like you to turn away if you don’t mind. She’s very private about such an intimate process.” Seconds later Deanna felt Webbi inside of her mind, their thoughts merged as Webbi took control and she was now just along for the ride.
“Is it over?”
“Yes.” Webbi replied. “Thank you for trusting me Captain, you’re a great person for a two legs. I mean human being.” She hugged the officer and kissed him. “Have I told you about the history of my people? I’m sure we can talk about it as we walk back to the bridge. My this really is a nice ship, not as advanced as the TARDIS obviously but it looks great.”
“Yes, well thank you. I would be honoured to hear of your home world.”


The Doctor tried juggling seven oranges and just had her technique sorted when K-9 bumped into a chair and broke her concentration. “Stop fussing K-9, they’ve just taken Webbi into protective custody. She had no business possessing that poor woman without asking anyway. I do hope she’s not being scared; she’s very timid around groups of humans. Well who wouldn’t be if they knew what’s to come? Anyway you must be bored listening to me talking non-stop Bobby, why don’t you say something hmmm?” She looked across to see that Bobby had fallen asleep, again. She nudged him awake accidentally on purpose.
“Huh?” Bobby’s eyes snapped open. “What’s going on? What’s all the noise? Is there trouble here?”
“No, no.” The Doctor reassured her friend. “I was just saying how we’ll have to be extra vigilant when we get to Nekket 3. The Bliss can be very subtle and highly dangerous.”
“Stop rolling your eyes like that Doctor, you’re creeping me out.” Bobby rubbed his arms, as they were all goosebumpy.
“Sorry, force of habits. As I was saying, I’ve encountered the Bliss on many occasions and it’s not like anything I’ve faced before except maybe The Black Guardian, The Animus, The Weed, The Great Intelligence, The Toy Maker, even the Master once when he tried to use the power of Grayskull to bend the Universe to his will.”
“So we are in fact going to die then?” Bobby asked.
“No, it’ll want to gloat first, they always want to gloat first. That’s when I’ll make my move.”
“You’ll do what? Talk it to death? Make it tea until it dies of a burst bladder? I know! You’ll use the sonic screwdriver!”
“Sarcasm is not your strong point young man, I suggest you redirect your energy into something more productive. Have you tried self referencing irony hmmm?”


The bridge of the Enterprise was unusually tense. Commander Riker sat in the command chair and watched the helmsman nudge the ship into orbit. In his early career Riker had sat in a dozen chairs like that one on a dozen starships, always exploring somewhere new and testing his developing skills to the fullest. At one time he had been the best of the best, until a certain young ensign came under his tutelage. How he was sorry to see Tom Paris cashiered out of Star Fleet when he decided to join the Maquis. Almost as sorry when his own twin brother, also called Tom, was sentenced by a Cardassian court to life imprisonment for trying to raid Cardassian ship building yards with a stolen prototype ship.
“Entering orbit now sir.” Ensign Yorik stated calmly and precisely.
“Very good Ensign, I can see why you came top of your graduating class.”
Being Vulcan Yorik politely ignored the emotional statement from the senior officer. “We are now in geostationary orbit above the capital city.”
Riker tapped his comm badge. “Captain Picard to the bridge.” He looked at Mr Data, his acting first officer. “I want a full scan of that city Mr Data, I want to know the second a cockroach thinks about moving.”
Data looked quizzical for a second. “Very good sir, should I send a copy of the scan to Dr Crusher? She may wish to know more about the native life forms, in case we need antidotes to any poisons.”
“Yes Mr Data.” Riker replied before saying a Picardism. “Make it so.” He smiled at himself until he saw Captain Picard standing on the bridge.
“Commander Riker, please join me in my ready room.
“Yes sir.” Riker stood up and walked into the Captains private office. “I can explain sir.”
“Another time Number One, the Doctor has told me that she doesn’t want more people than necessary going down to the planets surface. She seems to think that we’d just be supplying this Bliss with more people to use against us.”
“Minimum squad sir, myself, Data and Dr Crusher?”
“I can’t risk three of my most senior officers Number One, take Counsellor Troi and a security guard.” He didn’t have time to explain that Deanna was sharing her body with one of the Doctor’s companions. “One other thing, you will take a shuttle craft down, this Bliss absorbs energy and we don’t want to feed it.”
“Anything else sir?”
“Just one Will, good luck. Dismissed.”
“Aye sir.”


Webbi liked Will Riker, she knew that Deanna was physically attracted to him and she had to admit he was a lot nicer than many humans she had met.
The Doctor took aim with her conker but the impact on Bobby’s conker was minimal. “Try to hold it steady Bobby, conkers is a game of precision.”
“I can’t help it Doctor, we’re being bounced around like those little seeds things in a pair of maracas. Doesn’t this thing have a suspension? Even K-9 can keep her balance better than this pile of bolts.”
“I think the pilot is doing his best.” Debbie said to her friend. “This isn’t the TARDIS, we have to make allowances for their inferior technology.”
Webbi pointed at the large citadel in the distance. “Oooh look, it’s very pretty.”
Lieutenant Dave Colby looked but he wasn’t impressed.
K-9 trundled forwards as the nose of the shuttlecraft dipped. “I am in motion Mistress.”
“Use your brakes K-9.” The Doctor encouraged. “You’ve got ABS.” She looked at Bobby and Debbie. “She’s also got a few other things for later on, a couple of surprises that may just come in handy. I’ll have to see Hannah about the copyright to one of them.”
Webbi watched as Commander Riker brought the shuttle down for a landing and saw that he had good hands, with really long fingers. Her concentration was broken when the Doctor started speaking.
“Deanna dear, be a sweetie and check on poor Bobby. I accidentally hit him on the head with my conker.”
Bobby clutched his forehead and swore loudly at the Doctor in Spanish.
“I didn’t know you spoke two languages Bobby.” Debbie said. “I didn’t think you spoke one very well if I’m honest about it.”
Webbi looked at the lump on Bobby’s forehead. “You’ll be fine, I think I’ve pulled.”
“He’s bought condoms?” Debbie asked.
Webbi shook her head. “No, but that gizmo on the ship can make them.”
“What about the woman’s body you’ve borrowed?”
“She’s crazy about him too, I think it’s affecting me. I feel very peculiar, I think this body has a very high sex drive.” Webbi was about to detail to Debbie everything she planned doing with her borrowed body when the shuttlecraft was thrown sideways and into a large concrete wall.

“She’s crazy about him too, I think it’s affecting me. I feel very peculiar, I think this body has a very high sex drive.” Webbi was about to detail to Debbie everything she planned doing with her borrowed body when the shuttlecraft was thrown sideways and into a large concrete wall.

Riker opened his eyes. “Is everyone ok?”
The Doctor groaned a yes.
Bobby managed a sigh.
“I’m going to beam us out of here.”
Webbi quickly pulled herself out of Deanna’s body. She didn’t know what would happen but fearing the worst she didn’t want to risk it.
Debbie picked up K-9 and held her tightly in her arms.
Two seconds later they were elsewhere on the planets surface and Webbi quickly took control of Deanna’s body once more.
They watched sadly as the shuttle exploded in a huge fireball before slowly turning away from the smoking debris, heads held low in confusion and puzzlement before trekking over towards the large towers of the Nekket 3 palatial compound.


Captain Jean-Luc Picard looked at the screen, sheer disbelief and shock etched onto his face as if he were a marble statue. “Computer, what the hell just happened to that shuttle craft?”
The feminine monotone of the computer replied. “Shuttlecraft Raymond E. Feist was moved by unknown energy source.”
Picard feared the worst but didn’t want to think it. “Did any of the crew beam out of there before it crashed?”
“Unknown. On board transporter was activated for a short time after the impact.”
Maybe they had survived the impact and beamed out. “Did any of the crew get out in time?”
“Unknown.”
Picard turned to the android officer Lt Commander Data. “Find out if they’re alive Mr Data, I want a full analysis of this event.”
“Yes sir, I will liase with Dr Crusher.”
“Make it so Mr Data. Computer, can this phenomenon affect the ship?”
“Unknown.”
Picard sat back down in his chair. He refused to believe that his people and the Doctors friends had died in the explosion. “What force could swat a shuttlecraft like it was an Andorian housefly?” He looked at the screen once more, refusing to belief the worst. “Bring them back safely Will.”
Geordi’s voice sounded out in the bridge. “Captain, I’ve done a routine analysis of the dilithium crystals, they’re rapidly degrading. It’s almost as if some force is taking them away molecule by molecule.”
This piqued the Captain’s interest and also alarmed him. “Prognosis Geordi?”
“In five hours we won’t be able to go anywhere faster than impulse speed sir. I recommend that we move further away from the planet to see if the erosion rate decreases or stops.”
“Thank you Geordi, please confer with Data about the matter. He’s in medlab one with Dr Crusher.”
“Yes sir.” Geordi replied before ending the communication.
Picard looked across at his helmsman. “Take us out to maximum safe transporter range Ensign Yorik. We may need to get our people out in a hurry.”
The Vulcan Ensign nodded. Emotion clouded judgement and impaired logical thought. “Yes sir.” However sometimes she noted that human emotions seemed to offer them comfort when logic dictated that events could only get worse. At times the Captain almost seemed Vulcan like in his steely reserve and iron will but he was also the first to celebrate success and lament failure. Perhaps they were failings for a Vulcan but for a human they served him well.


The Doctor stood on a small rise and peered across the landscape towards the palace. The building had changed much since her previous visit. Once it had a multitude of coloured silk ribbons flying off of every tower where now the ribbons were gone and weapons of mass destruction were seated in their place. The brightly decorated stained glass windows had been bricked over to secure them and the many gates were now blocked up or heavily guarded. “Well there’s no getting in above ground.”
“We will use the underground passage.” Debbie stated. “It is little known and should be easily accessed.”
The Doctor nodded. “I’ve never been a front door person anyway, besides the back doors are always near kitchens and I’ve always liked kitchens, lots of tea and gossip to enjoy.”
Riker wandered over to the two women. “What’s the verdict then?”
“Subterfuge Commander.” The Doctor’s face lit up like a Christmas bauble illuminated by gaudily coloured fairy lights. “We sneak in through the back door.”
Webbi looked at Bobby and tried not to think of roast beef. “I’ll have to feed soon, I’m starting to hallucinate.”
“Doctor.” Bobby complained. “Webbi’s looking at me.”
“She’s your friend Bobby, of course she wants to look at you.”
“I mean she’s looking at me like a la carte.”
“Oh.” The Doctor realised that Webbi’s true body was hungry again. “Debbie do you have any of those food bars on you hmmm?
“Yes Doctor.” Debbie gave Webbi another food bar to stave off her hunger.
“Thank you Debbie.” Webbi munched on the bar with Troi’s mouth. “Call me picky but this body just doesn’t have the taste buds to properly appreciate honeyed locusts and fried maggots.”
“The secret way in is over there Doctor.” Debbie pointed to a small stone icon in the distance.
“Well it will just have to do you until we can get into the palace Webbi.” The Doctor headed off in the direction Debbie pointed to before tripping over on her heels into Riker’s arms. “I knew I should have worn flats today. Thank you for catching me Commander.”
Bobby looked at the others and rolled his eyes. “Who didn’t see that one coming? If there was only a chalk line there she’d have tripped over that.”
“Shush.” Webbi hissed. “It’s Troi’s idea of a little joke to play on the commander.”
The Doctor batted her lightly applied black mascara coloured eyelashes at Commander Riker. “Tell me Commander what are you doing after this mission? I’ve got a few spare tea bags hidden away in the TARDIS for people who save my life, I’d be honoured to brew you a cup to say thank you.”
“She’s really milking this.” Bobby muttered.
“Watch him squirm.” Webbi laughed softly. “Troi thinks that the Doctor’s doing a great job.”
Debbie looked at Bobby and Webbi. “What are you two, I mean three on about? She just wants to say thank you.”
Webbi whispered in Debbie’s ear for a few seconds.
“Oh, do people really enjoy that?”
Bobby pointed as the Doctor began to rub Riker’s arm softly. “She’s a worse flirt than my sister Tammy and that’s saying a lot. She once had five guys on the go at once until Mom found out then she was grounded for eight months until she graduated high school.”


Picard watched the computer simulation of the crash in Holodeck two. The shuttle landed, was smashed sideways, the teleporters activated for a short time then the shuttle exploded. “Well there was enough time for an emergency beam out.”
“Yes sir.” Geordi replied. “The computer indicates there was enough time for a quick beam out, it won’t have been smooth and they’ll feel tired for a while but they could very well be alive sir.”
Picard felt that the slender chance of his crew and guests surviving had just widened a whole lot. “I want an away team prepared and ready to go in twenty minutes, Data, Doctor Crusher and myself are going down there.”
“Negative sir.” Data replied. “I cannot allow you to go down there, your place is on the bridge of your ship sir. Commander Riker was very explicit about the role of an acting second in command sir.”
“Three of my crew, my friends are down their Data. I won’t stand by helpless, I’m responsible for their safety.”
“No sir, you are responsible for the safety of your ship. Let me worry about the safety of the crew. I will take Security Chief Krell along with me sir, she is most effective at tracking and hunting sir.”
“She’s Aborian isn’t she? I was opposed to her transfer onto my ship at first but she’s proven herself as head of security. She’s not a Worf or a Yar yet but she could be, keep an eye on her Data.”
Data left Holodeck two with Dr Crusher, intending to pass Lt Krell’s quarters on their way to the main shuttle bay. “Doctor, I think the Captain took my ordering him to stay on the ship personally.”
“I’ve known Jean-Luc a lot longer than you Data, believe me he wants to go down there but he also knows how angry Will will get if he finds the Captain has left the ship on an away mission. You did the right thing Data, trust me.”


Bobby knew he was making too much noise, every time he tried to be quiet he ended up making more noise than if he was pounding a large drum and shouting ‘we’re coming to get you’ at the top of his voice.
Webbi was used to these darker places with mildew and damp and little insects that tasted so sweet. Little wriggling worms that squirmed around inside your mouth as you greedily helped yourself to more and more and more. Get a grip girl, she told herself with seriousness. Don’t fantasise about food, think about bunny rabbits and how they squeak when you sink your fangs into them. No not that, flowers, bright flowers, a field of bright flowers and rabbits playing, rabbits that tasted so good as you suck their liquidised bodily organs out of their flesh to leave dried husks. She realised Troi’s mouth was salivating so she wiped it with the sleeve of her jacket before continuing.
Riker wanted to use his wrist-mounted flashlight to illuminate their way but the Doctor made him turn it off at once. His eyes had adjusted to the gloom and he found that they could just see their way along the long and twisting corridor. The passage seemed to rise and fall as it snaked left and right before suddenly opening up into a large vault.
“We are here.” Debbie replied. “This place is directly below the throne room.”
“Good, good.” The Doctor gave the room a cursory once over. “Now how do we get out of here hmmm?”
“There is a secret door, somewhere.”
The Doctor patted K-9 on the head. “Be a dear K-9 and find the secret door for us. There’s a bag of ball bearings in it for you.”
“Please do not embarrass me Mistress.” K-9 replied before extending her scanning probe.
“Good girl K-9.” The Doctor said to her metal dog before looking at the others. “She’ll find the way out of here in no time at all.”
Lieutenant Colby finished a brief security sweep of the room. “There’s nothing in here of recent use sir, the dirt’s piled up very high in places and there’s only a few rodent like foot prints. I don’t think this place has been used in centuries sir.”
“Very good Lieutenant, we’ll just wait for that box of tricks to find the exit for us.”
“I can’t believe you let her confiscate our tricorders sir, no disrespect intended.” Colby quickly covered his anger with an apology.
“The Doctor knows what she’s doing, at least last time he did. Of course she used to look quite different then, she was a six and a half foot tall man then but this is the same person, only different…I think.” Riker had a hard time grasping the concept of regeneration but after spending time with this woman he knew that she was indeed the same person he had met on the Enterprise-D.
“Doorway located Mistress.” K-9 reported the completion of her task.
“Good girl.” The Doctor tickled K-9 behind her ‘ears’. “Can we open it from this side?”
“Negative Mistress, we need to blast it open.”
“You’re not programmed to blast K-9, at least not yet. What we need are good old-fashioned phasers. Commander Riker, if you would be so kind?”
Riker and Colby aimed their phasers at the door.
“Oooh.” Webbi realised she had one of these zappy things too. “Deanna is telling me to help you two.”
“On the count of three, once you turn the phaser around the correct way.” Riker looked at Troi. “One, two, three.” He fired and the others fired. The doorway was obliterated in a matter of seconds.
Webbi dropped the phaser to the ground. “I hate guns!” She kicked it to prove her point. “Hate guns.”
Riker picked it up. “That’s a very enlightened philosophy, however we may need it on stun setting from now on. We find that some people do not respond to talking and try to harm us. We use a light energy pulse to render them immobile or unconscious. We try never to kill even if it’s the only way.”
The Doctor led the way through the newly opened door. “Come on, last one in there gets a date with the Rani.”
“Who’s the Rani?” Everyone else asked each other with a shrug.


Data met Dr Crusher and Lt Krell inside the shuttle bay. He threw the two female officers a kitbag each. “I have prepared native clothing, we will get changed on route.”
Dr Crusher looked at the younger woman. “It’s at times like this when I’m glad I can remove Data’s memories after getting undressed inside a class 4 shuttle.”
Krell shrugged. “Clothing is an impediment to the hunter, however some cultures see clothing as functional ceremonial robes so I will burden myself once more with the discomfort.”
Data politely ignored the two women as he piloted the shuttle towards the planet’s surface at full impulse power.


Captain Picard watched the shuttle departing on the main view screen. “Bring them back safely Mr Data.” He looked at Geordi, now his acting second in command. “Why don’t you try the seat Geordi? You may find command suits you.”
Geordi sat down. “Very nice sir, it saves standing around in engineering all day.”
Picard chuckled. “I’ll bet, but we’re still glad that the best engineer in Star Fleet in on board.”

Geordi looked at a display panel. “Sir, the shuttle’s destabilising.”
“Data, get out of there!” Picard shouted. “Transporter room three, get a lock on that shuttle craft, beam them out of there at once.”
There was a momentary pause before the shuttle exploded.
“Do you have them?” Picard asked.
“I’ve got two of them sir.”
Geordi looked at the Captain, unsure how to react to a situation like this. “I’ll go over the ships sensors and find out what went wrong sir.”
“Yes Geordi.” Picard replied. “Make it so.”
“Sir, Commander Data and Dr Crusher are on board. Lt Krell’s pattern was lost during transport.”
“Thank you Ensign Chaplin, I’ll expect a full report on my desk in an hours time.” Picard sat down. He had been the one who had requested Krell to his ship. She had been found as a child by a Star Fleet survey ship. She was raised on the USS Kevin Carter by the crew, much like Wesley grew up on the Enterprise-D. She applied for Star Fleet academy and was accepted, she rapidly excelled in the martial side of her raining and no one was surprised when she opted to join the security and tactical division. Krell and her polite disregard for the more formal trappings of star ship life had impressed him. She had even attended Admiral Janeway’s retirement party completely naked, as was the tradition of her people. He would have to organise an appropriate ceremony, something dignified but honouring the ways of her culture. He just hoped he could find a ritual in the archives of her people that didn’t require the attendee’s to go naked, much like Lwaxanna Troi’s failed wedding ceremony when the groom ran away from the altar in shock.
Geordi pointed to the screen. “Sir, there was an energy surge from the planet below, they overloaded the shuttle’s systems. That still doesn’t account for the sudden loss of Lt Krell’s pattern. It vanished all at once, normally a pattern degrades over time until there’s just not enough signal left to reconstitute a person from the energy stream. It shouldn’t have happened.”
“So you’re saying something took her Geordi?”
“I don’t know what I’m saying Captain, only that she’s not here and she wasn’t on the shuttle when it exploded. Perhaps she’s somewhere else? Perhaps whatever did this has her.”
“Lets hope so Geordi, for Lt Krell’s sake.” Picard sat back down in his chair. “This is not the sort of event I’d wish for my acting second in command to witness Geordi. The death of a crewman is never easy.”
“I know sir, I remember the one you had when you thought Ro Laren and I were dead.”
“Of course, how forgetful of me. It was, appropriate wasn’t it?”
“For me yes, I think it took Laren a few more hours to see how much the crew liked her. Bajoran funerals are a lot more introspective and quiet, as she spent a long time explaining to me.”


“This way I think.” The Doctor pointed in seven directions at once. “No this way, it looks prettier.”
“Wealth is a sign we are approaching the royal apartments.” Debbie remarked casually.
“Ouch.” Riker exclaimed as he tripped over the robot dog once more. “Will you tell that thing to leave my feet alone?”
“Heel K-9.” The Doctor commanded. “That’s a good girl.”


Data lay on the biobed as Senior Nurse Alyssa Ogawa finished checking his neural pathways. “Am I damaged Lieutenant?” He addressed the human by her military rank rather than her honourific salutation.
“No Data, you’re fine.” The petite Lieutenant helped Data right himself on his feet.
Dr Crusher looked sternly at her assistant. “I’m fine too Nurse.”
“No Doctor, you have a hairline fracture of your skull. I will need to repair it.”
“You don’t know how to do that procedure Alyssa.”
“I know, but I know someone who does.”
“Oh no, not in my medibay, never again.”
“Do I have to pull medical rank Doctor? While you’re on that bed I’m the chief medical officer so relax and let me take care of you for once.” Ogawa smiled at her flame haired superior. “Computer, activate the EMH.”
The Emergency Medical Hologram flickered into life. “Ah, and to what do I hold the honour of being reactivated one year and three months and seventeen hours since my last activation?”
“Dr Crusher has a hairline fracture in her skull, I don’t know what to do.”
“Ah, of course. I knew it would have to be something like that.” The EMH picked up a medical tricorder and scanned the patient’s scalp. “Ah there it is...we’ll have it fixed in no time at all.”
“Just get me patched up ready for duty.” Dr Crusher snapped.
“Now, now, as a doctor you should have a better bedside manner than that.” The EMH operated the sonic bone knitter and carefully teased the two sides back together into one solid mass. “All done, but I order you to take things easy for the rest of the day. I’m sure you don’t want to be seeing me again in a hurry.”
“I’ll take it easy.” Dr Crusher half told the truth. “Now have me certified fit for duty or I’ll rewire your personality banks with a phaser.”
“Touchy isn’t she?” The EMH said to Nurse Ogawa. He scanned her once more with the tricorder. “I see no reason why you shouldn’t return to light duties. Just don’t go and get yourself in anymore accidents today please.”
“Thank you.” Alyssa Ogawa bowed to the EMH. “Computer, deactivate the EMH.”


The Doctor licked her finger and held it up. “Ah yes, there’s a draft coming from this direction and unless I’m seriously mistaken I can smell tea being made.” She took hold of Bobby’s hand and dragged him along with her. “Hurry up, you really don’t want to date the Rani, she’s not a very nice person yet.”
Debbie and Webbi took turns in watching Commander Riker’s buttocks as he walked. Both women felt that there was much to enjoy from this show and it took Webbi’s mind off her hunger and Troi had no complaints either, having seen them without clothing several times.
The throne room was upon them suddenly and they all blinked when they walked out into the brightness of the room. Debbie spied a figure sitting on the throne. “Holy Mother? What manner of treason is this? It is forbidden for the clerics to aspire to the nobility of our people. You serve the gods where as I serve the people.”
The Holy Mother laughed. “Silence you prattling puppet. You are nothing but a thing we used to control the cattle of this world. We remade you to serve us but you were flawed, you still had a mind of your own. This body is more suited to our needs.” The Holy Mother turned around to reveal the body of Lt Krell merged into her own. They spoke with the same voice. “I took this one from your ship.” She pointed at Commander Riker. “We are but the beginning. We shall absorb all into us, we shall become a mountain of flesh and the Bliss shall live within us. We are to be made in its image, you cannot resist our will.”
The Doctor coughed. “Excuse me, I just couldn’t help but hear your insane plan to gain a material existence. Would you like a jelly baby hmmm? They’re very good.”
“You, Doctor shall be our first willing volunteer.” The creature pointed at the Doctor and a beam of yellow orange struck the time lady in the forehead.
The Doctor nodded. “Of course, I thought you’d never ask.” She walked forward to joint the Bliss and help it come into being.
Bobby screamed as the Doctor was pulled into the bodies of the two women. “No!” He ran forward to attack the others and pull the Doctor free.
“Come to us Robert Turner.” The Bliss pulled the strong and healthy human into itself.
“What’s going on?” Riker demanded.
“You will all join us!” The Bliss filled the room with laughter and seconds later Commander Riker, Lt Colby and Debbie were part of the Bliss.
“What can we do?” Webbi asked K-9.
“You will join the Bliss.” K-9 replied.
“Not you too K-9.” Webbi sighed before detaching herself from Troi’s body. “We must join the Bliss.”
Troi nodded and carried Webbi’s true self and they were merged into the mass of pink and brown flesh.
The Bliss roared in triumph. It had absorbed the Doctor, the only person to inflict loss and pain on it. It began to lurch forward. “We are the Bliss, we are the ultimate life form, we are legion, now K-9, we will absorb all, fire K-9.”
K-9 extended her gun barrel from her muzzle and fired a wide beam of blue and silver energy at the mass of merged people.
The Bliss screamed as its mind was broken and dissipated into nothingness. The bodies held in fusion were separated by repulsion and nine people lay on the floor naked and stunned.
K-9 trundled over to the Doctor Mistress and examined her body for any trace of the Bliss within her form. “Mistress, you are freed of the Bliss. The entity has been destroyed exactly like you predicted it would be. The energy device you installed within me functioned as required. Do you require assistance Mistress?”
The Doctor sat up. “Oh my head, next time one of my other selves can deal with this sort of thing. I’m getting too old for this sort of thing K-9, where are my clothes?”
“They were discarded when you became part of the group entity Mistress. They are over there with other clothes.”
“I’d better get dressed K-9, you see if the others are ok.” Two seconds later the Doctor was dressed and checking the button on the cuffs of her blouse. “I may as well wake them up one at a time, I don’t want to cause a scene.” She woke them up one by one and once dressed she took them to the kitchen where she gave them food and drink.


Bobby was sure this wasn’t his trousers but they seemed to fit him. His mind reeled with the alien ness of the Bliss and its agenda to enslave all of the Universe into its being. A lot of minds in one body he could cope with but one mind made up of parts of other people inside one body made up from everyone was just too disturbing to cope with. Taking another sip of tea he decided never to think of it again.
Webbi realised that there was nothing to be scared of letting people seeing her true form. If they couldn’t accept her for who she was then it was their problem and not hers. She even found that Bobby could be around her for up to half an hour before having to go away for a bit.
Riker tapped his communication badge and told them to beam eight people up.


Captain Picard listened with interest as Riker explained what had happened on the planets surface and he was overjoyed to see Lt Krell back safe and sound to her position on the Bridge.
Troi and Webbi shared a few pieces of gossip about their respective crewmates before the Doctor picked the chatty eight-leg girl up and carried her into the TARDIS.
“Come on Webbi, time we were going. We can always gossip later if you want to learn all the low down on Bobby.”
“Huh?” Bobby looked sharply at the Doctor, panic in his eyes.
The Doctor just smiled innocently at her friend before dematerialising the TARDIS into the space-time vortex.