The Empire of Scotland stretched far and wide, so far it was said that the sun never set upon it. HRH George Drummond, Duke of Edinburgh, was the benevolent face of Scotland’s regime while the sabre rattler behind the scenes was General Alistair Stewart the scourge of Africa. With the fall of this mighty continent came new wealth with which to fund the martial prowess of the elite shock troops. Elsewhere the Australian and Argentinean Alliance were trying to liberate those countries struggling for independence from the Empire’s grasp. Into this crucible of power has stepped the only person capable of stopping this tyrannical regime and her new best friend.


Danny looked out at the landscape around Greenwich. “Are you sure we’re in England? Everyone seems to be wearing kilts.”
The Doctor looked around too. “Maybe there’s a run on tartan? Tell you what, why don’t I treat you? We don’t want to look out of place do we?”
“This from the woman in a bright green suit. I’m not wearing a skirt.” Danny said firmly.
“It’s a kilt and it’ll really show off your legs. Everyone else is wearing one, you don’t want to be the odd one out do you?”
“I’ve always thought of myself as a tread setter to be honest.” Danny replied.
“A very good reply.” The Doctor nodded. “Individuality is very important in the greater scheme of things. However, do you want to spend a few years in jail for not wearing the national dress of the Scottish Empire?” She pointed up to a large notice in not very friendly lettering. “Come on, looks like I get to see your knees after all Danny my boy.” She produced her purse and helped steer her companion in the right direction with a helpful cross-face chicken wing armlock. “Scottish Empire? I wonder what kind of history this planet Earth has?”


The Doctor popped another haggis flavoured jelly baby into her mouth while she waited for her companion to pluck up the courage to emerge from the changing room. “Come on out Danny, I promise not to whistle like that again.”
“I’m not coming out Doctor…ever. Now had me my trousers back.”
“Sorry Danny, there was an accident with a pair of scissors.” The Doctor adjusted her own outfit. It hadn’t been too hard to persuade them to sew little tartan question marks onto the collar of her blouse. “Jamie never wore anything else in the TARDIS. Even when it needed a good three or twelve hours in the washing machine.”
“I’m not coming out, Doctor.” Danny replied. “I feel like an idiot.”
“Then I’ll just have to come in.” The Doctor joked.
“Ok, ok.” Danny replied quickly and emerged from the changing room.
“You look absolutely handsome.” The Doctor replied. “A bit scruffy but nothing a good long lecture won’t put right and a hairbrush too.”
“Now then, we should explore more of this quaint town before heading north to the Capital.” The Doctor picked up her small tartan handbag and pulled out her new tartan purse. “I’ll pay this nice lady, why don’t you find us a nice café hmmm? I’m sure you must be hungry after our trip here and I know I could use a good cup of tea.”
“Oh very well.” Danny muttered and slouched out of the clothes store in as much of a mood as he could manage.
“He’s a nice boy really. Deep down, where it’s not really noticeable.” The Doctor chatted idly to the cashier.
“Your son is a very handsome young man.” The cashier replied casually. “He’s lucky to have a mother as patient and understanding as you.”
The Doctor was stunned as she handed over some non-descript gold coins. “Erm well, ok.” She left the store in a hurry and a daze. She found Danny lurking around outside a café and dragged him off in search of some make up for herself and some sort of proof that they were not related.”
“Stop taking my pulse Doctor.” Danny whined as the Doctor moved her attention away from his wrist up to his neck.
“I’m just making sure you have the right amount of pulse.” The Doctor replied.
“How many should I have?” Danny wondered.
“One, I hope.” The Doctor didn’t want children at her time of lives. It had been hard enough with Haana and she was pretty much mature by the time of the accident. Of course in many ways Haana had been a lot more difficult, having girls in her room after hours and spending her pocket money on Playboys instead of sweets. All in all she was hoping a boy would be a lot easier to cope with and spoil rotten. “One it is, thank Rassilon for that.”
“Can you stop embarrassing me now?” Danny asked. “There are people around.”
The Doctor simply smiled as she pushed the café door open and ushered her young friend inside first.


General Stewart looked at the report again. “What in the name of Bonnie Prince Charlie does this have to do with Scottish security? Deal with it Colonel and don’t bother me with such trivial matters as shopping.”
“But sir, look at the woman’s name. She signed her name with a huge question mark and her son called her the Doctor.”
“Are you sure?” General Stewart had a proper look at the report. “The man I shot dead in 1968 looked nothing like her at all and she’s too old to be his daughter. A younger sister perhaps? The infrared confirms she has the same physiological characteristics. Look, two hearts.”
“Did the alien intruder have two hearts sir?”
“Of course he did you incompetent buffoon, don’t any of you listen anymore? Blood and thunder, that’s what a soldier needs Colonel, blood and thunder.”


The Doctor nursed her single cup of herbal tea while Danny played with his plate of haggis and chips. “Come on, tuck in Danny. A growing boy like you needs all the yummy goodness he can get.”
Danny threw his knife and fork down. “I can’t eat this Doctor, it tastes funny.” He folded his arms and glared off into the distance.
“Oh dear.” The Doctor said to herself. “I was hoping you wouldn’t make a scene, I guess it’s time for the old loco parentis clause to come into effect. She removed a bright pink plastic watch from her purse and began to swing it in front of Danny’s face. “You like haggis, you like eating haggis, you want to eat haggis, you enjoy eating haggis.”
“Yeah, like that’s going to work on me.” Danny scowled.
“Come on Danny, eat your haggis. It’s your favourite.”
Danny pushed his plate away. “I’m not eating that.”
“Are you sure?” The Doctor asked. “Actually I’m feeling quite peckish myself, I never knew I liked haggis so much. I think I must have hypnotised myself just now.”
“Serves you right Doctor.” Danny grinned. “Don’t mess with other people’s likes and dislikes.”
“Are you sure you only have one pulse?” The Doctor asked. “This is a very cunning Time Lord trick, reversing a hypnotic suggestion.”
Danny shook his head. “No, at least I don’t think it was me. You were the one going on about how great that stuff is while I was all against it from the beginning.”
“It’s not that bad.” The Doctor said after she finished off a careful mouthful and washed it down with the last of her tea. “I suppose we should get a move on if we want to make it to the station in time. It might be fun to travel by dirigible, did I ever tell you about the time I was on the R-100? Canada was very boring in comparison, certainly after the incident with its sister ship two me’s later.”


General Stewart stood alone in the antechamber. He tried to collect his thoughts together while he waited for his audience with the prince. Was this the start of another alien invasion? Was this woman really a spy for a vast menace from another planet? The door opened and the courtier ushered him inside.
“Ah, General Stewart, come in, please sit down. How grows the Empire?”
“Since the fall of China there smaller nations have been flocking for our protection. The alliance with the Soviets grows stronger every day and it’s only a matter of time before the Alliance crumbles and we have our revenge on those commonwealth scum who defy your parent’s just and might rule.”
“Well as long as they see the compassionate and caring benefits we offer General. We don’t want those pacifists in America bleating about human rights again. Malaysia was a P.R. disaster.”
“They killed themselves highness, we had nothing to do with that.” General Stewart had felt sick to the core when he saw what the Malaysians had done to themselves and tried to blame upon the mighty and serene Scottish Empire.
“Of course, now tell me what is on your mind.”
The General nodded and informed the prince of his actions in 1968 and his suspicions about the woman his spies had discovered in London just this morning. “I’m convinced that she’s up to no good and a clear and present danger to the stability of our glorious Empire.”


Danny wondered if the Doctor was quite right in her head as she went on and on about balloons. Certainly she knew how to weave a fantastic tale, but she often seemed to have such a child-like joy about the whole thing, as if she was experiencing it for the first time.
“Come on Danny, let’s buy tickets.” She pulled out some notes from her purse. “I’ll let you pay this time. This is going to be so much fun, a balloon flight all the way to Edinburgh.”
“Can we trust this thing?” Danny asked.
“Of course we can, that’s Helium I can smell not nasty old Hydrogen. Bad stuff Hydrogen, it explodes easily and burns ever so brightly. It can also be used in nuclear weapons.”
Danny flinched at the Doctor’s last few words; it was as if she had managed to cram two thousand years of disgust into five syllables. “Ok, so we’re not going to be incinerated. What about engine failure? Bad piloting? The wrong sort of clouds in the air?”
“That’s a good one.” The Doctor replied. “We’ll be safe enough Danny, I’m more concerned about trying to find myself and persuade me to borrow my TARDIS.”
“You don’t think this Universe’s you will be very co-operative?”
“Hardly, I’ve never liked me really, any of me to be honest. When you know me as long as I have you’ll not like me much.”
“Well I sort of like you.” Danny admitted. “Can I call you Mummy?”
“Certainly not!” The Doctor replied. “I am the Doctor, like it or lump it.”
“Like that mashed potato.” Danny chuckled.
“Yes, exactly like that potato was mashed.”
Danny wasn’t sure about this whole travelling by balloon thing; he always preferred to keep his feet on the ground where there was no risk of falling or dying from said falling. “How come you got so much money out of that cash machine anyway?”
The Doctor chuckled softly. “Well first class tickets do cost a little extra so I had to use first class methods on that stubborn electronic bank clerk. The Sonic Screwdriver, cures most tricky situations or your money back. Jamie and Victoria bought one once at a novelty shop on the planet Xivrec, or was it Naipollaf? They didn’t quite know it straight away of course; as I traded the Christmas gift they actually got me in for store credit. Anyway it turned out to be a super little device and the mark 82 has five completely different settings.”
“So you stole the money?” Danny felt let down.
“Liberated it from a tyrannical regime, borrowed it for a while, maybe I’m investing it in the future of this Earth?” The Doctor looked at the cash again. “It’s just not the same without dear Liz’s face on the front of the fifty. I met her once you know, well it was myself and Ace really but she’s not very tall, neither was I really. Ah here we are, two really first class tickets to Edinburgh dear and don’t spare the teapot.”
“Certainly lassie.” The ticket master replied and waited for the money before handing the tickets over.


Danny sat on the edge of his seat and looked down at the landscape below. “This is great, I can see fields and cows and houses. They’re all really small, like ants but not so organised.”
The Doctor sipped her cup of tea and smiled brightly. “Such a dignified way of travel, it was a real pity that they never caught on. Of course I tried telling them to use Helium instead of Hydrogen at the time but no one listened to me. Maybe I should try again sometime, then again maybe I did? After all this isn’t the Universe I came from.”
Danny turned his gaze away from the vista below. “What are we going to do Doctor? How can you get back to your own universe? I don’t want to go back to that place again.”
The Doctor nodded. “I quite agree. All we need to do is find myself, the me from this reality and persuade me to let me borrow my TARDIS for a little jaunt sideways in time. Of course I’d rather die than do that normally, I don’t get on with myself very well you see.”
Danny chuckled. “Doctor, you make less sense by the hour.”
“I do?” The Doctor asked softly. “Maybe, I’ve always been a good talker, when you’ve been in as many tricky situations as I have you soon learn to stretch things out for as long as possible.” She took another sip of tea and then juggled the sugar cubes.
Danny looked at the Doctor and furrowed his brow. “Maybe the other Doctor is more normal than this one? She can’t be worse, can she?”
“Normal is a very bland perspective, besides many of me used to be male. You should never judge a Doctor by their cover.” She looked deep into her companion’s eyes. “When we reach our destination you must do everything I say Daniel Latimer, not all me’s are either good or virtuous.” She frowned for a second. “One me in particular, all my temptation taken, all my desires fulfilled, he who would bring shame to all my good deeds.”


General Stewart sat calmly and unmoving in the centre of his small but well furnished office. He was a man of action and only kept this place when his duty brought him back to the capital. In his hands he held a revolver, an antique from the old days kept well oiled and serviced. He polished it with a slightly oiled rag that brought a dull sheen that you could almost see your face in it. It was the gun he had shot the alien spy with, killed the small raggedy dressed man before he could attack. A knock at the door interrupted the general’s memories. “Come!” He barked the order loudly.
A slender female NCO walked into the room and saluted stiffly. “Sir, the intelligence report you asked for.” She marched over to the desk and waited for further instructions.”
“Thank you corporal.” The general took the report from her. “Dismissed.”
“Sir.” The corporal saluted once more, turned and left.
Once the slip of a girl had gone the general opened the file and read its contents. As he read it the colour drained from his face. Finally he let the paper fall from his hands onto the polished mahogany table. It took him some time to form the words adequate to express his feelings. “Damn!” He slammed his fist onto the table. He picked up his telephone and started to dial…


The Doctor and Danny found the aeroport to be a miniature cosmos entirely self-contained and separate from the rest of the planet. They were asked rather a lot of personal questions and there always seemed to be the threat of rubber gloved body cavity searches if they slipped up. The Doctor secretly wondered if she would find her one-time companion from her own universe Haana working here somehow. Finally they were accepted through the checks and emerged into the cool air of Edinburgh.
“Taxi!” The Doctor shouted and waved her hand about in the air. “Taxi!”
Danny wondered what the Doctor was doing when a large black car pulled over beside them. “Oh, I thought they would be yellow somehow.”
“You’ve been watching too much TV.” The Doctor replied as she let her companion let her get in the taxi first.
Danny closed the door and tried to get comfortable. “Where are we going then?”
The Doctor leaned forward slightly. “That’s easy, follow my intuition. I should be able to track me down even better now that we’re here. I’ve always been able to feel the TARDIS in my mind, homing instinct you see.”
“Like a homing pigeon?” Danny asked.
“Well I have been called a scatterbrained bird before.” The Doctor confessed. “Of course it was a rather unsavoury attempt at character assassination by my sixth self. Still I got him back by calling him a…”
“You’re rambling again Doctor.” Danny interrupted before she got into another story. “The driver wants to know which way to go.”
The Doctor frowned. “Oh, that way.” She waved a hand over towards the left as she started to pout. “It would have been a good story too.”
Danny tried to cheer the Doctor up and win favour with her again. “You can tell me later, once you’ve found yourself and borrowed your TARDIS from you.”
The Doctor smiled again, like the sun coming out from behind the clouds. “You’re starting to sound like me Danny, which can’t be a bad thing can it. Do you like celery at all?”
“Can’t stand it.” Danny replied.
“Me neither.” The Doctor confessed. “I used to, for a while, still there’s always tea. I’ve always liked a good cuppa no matter which body I’ve worn.”
Danny looked out of the window as a stream of army trucks drove past them at some speed. “I wonder what their hurry is?”
“Maybe there’s a packet of biscuits on the loose?” The Doctor looked at the insignia. “The military mind has always been very singular in its function. Still I’ve never seen those markings before in any of my lives. I’ve just though, we should have had rich tea on our flight, they’re the perfect accessory for any social occasion.”
“Looks like they’re invading the aeroport.” Danny mused as they disappeared out of sight of the large balloons.
“Security is very important.” The Doctor mused. “We don’t want the wrong sorts getting hold of those things. Turn right here.”
Danny looked around at the sights as they drove through the heart of the city.
“The heart of the city is built on the dead remains of an ancient volcano. A vast plug of basaltic lava acting as a sort of grave marker for the remains of a monster.”
Danny waved the free tourist guide he had picked up from the aeroport at the Doctor. “It’s all in here Doctor.”
“Is it?” The Doctor took the flimsy guide from Danny and looked at it. “Oh my goodness, that’s wrong, and that, this paragraph is total fiction and as for that, well it’s offensive to all those who were here when it was still under a Jurassic sea.”
Danny folded the guide up and put it in his pocket. “You should let the author have the benefit of your experience, he’d be begging for you to stop talking in less than an hour. I mean you’ve got more stories than Jules Verne, even if the effects aren’t as good.”
“Not as good?” The Doctor grumbled sourly. “Never mind, can’t argue now Danny, we’re almost there. Stop here driver, by that antique dealership.” As the vehicle drew to a halt the Doctor pulled out her purse and handed some money to Danny. “Why don’t you pay the nice man for driving us all this way son hmmm?”
Danny pulled a face behind the Doctor’s back. “Here you go mate, keep the change.”
“It’s three pence short laddie.” The driver held out his hand.
The Doctor put her hands in her waistcoat pockets and pulled out the three bronze coins. “There, and for your tip I recommend you leave this place now.”
Danny waved as the taxi driver pulled away cursing and swearing. “Another dissatisfied customer, he should see a Doctor about it.”
The Doctor put her hand on her companion’s shoulder. “He’ll have to take a ticket join the queue Danny. What a long queue it is too, Daleks, Cybermen, Krotons, Beep the Meep and even one or two friends.”
A figure stepped out of the shadowy doorway. “What about an old enemy?” He aimed his revolver at the woman’s head.
“Alistair?” The Doctor started to grin like a schoolgirl with a crush before she saw the gun and her smile turned upside down into an unhappy frown. “Alistair?”
“I won’t allow you to invade my world.” General Stewart hissed coldly. “I’ve always done my duty, saving my home from alien scum like you. You’re like the one I shot all those years ago aren’t you? No doubt they sent you to finish the work he started, well we can’t have that now can we?”
The Doctor looked at the gun, saw the finger slowly tightening on the trigger. “It’s me Alistair, the Doctor, your friend. We’ve been the best of friends since we met during that nasty Yeti business.”
“Maybe in this universe you two aren’t friends?” Danny asked the Doctor. “After all things are bound to be different aren’t they?”
“Oh.” The Doctor sighed. “I wasn’t counting on that.”
A second figure lurched out of the shadows at the General, striking him around the waist. The figures fell down on to the pavement and rolled around.
“Haiiii!” The second figure, a white haired man of refined bearing and noble posture, yelled loudly and struck at the General’s chest.
“I was wondering when you would turn up.” The Doctor said sharply.
“I’ve always had a good sense of timing.” The Doctor replied. “Oh, well never mind. I guess not all of us can have my impeccable dress sense.”
The Doctor glared at her alternate self. “So Alistair killed you, instead of becoming your best friend.”
“Hey, I’m your best friend.” Danny protested.
The male Doctor nodded and ignored the companion of his female self. “Yes, he thought I was controlling the Yeti. He never stopped to check that I could regenerate into another body.”
“Now that we’ve sorted that out, can we talk about me borrowing the TARDIS to return me and Danny Boy here back to my reality? I fear that my understudy will be getting out of her depth by now.”
“None of you are going anywhere!” General Stewart struggled to his feet.
The Doctor’s looked at the man who at once their best friend and worst foe. “Can’t we talk about this? Over a nice cup of tea perhaps?”
The General raised his gun and fired.
The Doctor reacted as soon as the gun fired, striking the elderly man in the face as hard as she could. “I guess you’re not the man I thought you were.”
Danny picked up the gun, opened it up and threw the bullets away. “I hate guns.” He stuck out his tongue in disgust.
The Doctor knelt beside her other self. “It’s ok, just relax Doctor. It’s not a deep wound, awfully close to your right heart though.”
“Too close Doctor.” The Doctor replied. “Penetrated my ventricle, bleeding internally. Sleepy now, must rest.”
“I understand.” The Doctor said before standing up and taking a step back. She looked at Danny. “He’s getting go of this life Danny, giving up the fight while he has the strength to regenerate. Then he can sort out this mess, Scottish Empire? I’ve always found empires rather disagreeable on the whole. Nasty things run by petty tyrants and bumbling autocrats.”
Danny watched as a strange glow started to come from inside of the other Doctor’s body. The light came from every pore of his being now, so bright and pure, almost blinding. Then it was gone and he found himself looking down at the body of a new person. White hair had given way to longer black hair and he now sported a moustache but no beard “Well he does looks different.”
The Doctor smiled. “He’ll act differently too, he’ll be as different from himself as I was from all of myselves. Trust me, I am the Doctor and so is he.” She looked at the antique shop. “Ah it’s just in here.” She opened the door and went inside.
Danny followed after the Doctor and found her looking at a strange blue box. “What’s that?”
“My home.” The Doctor replied. “Come here Danny, there should be a spare key. In the cubby hole above the P.”
“Which one?” Danny asked.
“The first one.” The Doctor handed Danny a chair. “Be a good boy and get it for me.”
Danny stood on the chair and found the strange metal key. “This thing?”
“Now unlock the door.”
Danny unlocked the doors and pushed them open. “Now what?”
The Doctor walked into the TARDIS. “Just take a single step, follow me into the ship.”
Danny walked forward through the doors and found himself inside a large white room with shoddily built walls and a single ornament in the middle of things.
“Ah, now this looks familiar.” The Doctor started pressing buttons. “We can shift the insides a bit, move console rooms about a bit. That nice wooden one would suit my other me’s taste I think.” She pulled a few levers and pressed more buttons. “All we need is the console. Take hold of something Danny, put your hands on the console.”
Danny put his hands on the console. “What are you doing Doctor?”
The Doctor looked at her friend. “Building up a large burst of energy, a sort of overload if you like. It will push us sideways in time, hopefully back to my own dimension.”
Danny wondered how safe all this was when it happened.


“Danny, wake up Danny.” The Doctor shook her companion again. “Will you stop lying there and wake up?”
Danny opened his eyes. “Did it work?”
The Doctor smiled and nodded. “It worked perfectly Danny, we’re in my dimension. We’re inside the TARDIS, my TARDIS. I put you in my bed while you rested.”
Danny looked at the rather pink and silky décor of the room, very much like the new clothes she was wearing and the walls of the room. “I’m feeling much better now, lets go somewhere else shall we?”
“You’ll need your shoes.” The Doctor handed Danny’s shoes back to him. “It’s very important to have a nice and comfortable pair of shoes to wear.”
Danny looked at the Doctor’s pink heels and wondered how comfy they actually were.
“You can change clothes if you like. We’ve been through quite a lot and maybe a shower too.” The Doctor said as they left her bedroom. “How do you like this outfit? I found it while I was shopping in a small market city with Haana; it’s a bit loud I know but very distinctive hmmm? I wonder why my otherself didn’t wear it?”
Danny found himself almost pushed into another bedroom that was Spartan but with a large selection of clothing in the cupboards. After showering and putting on some fresh clothes he left the room to find the Doctor waiting with a cup of tea in both hands.
“Ah there you are and all the better for it too.” The Doctor handed Danny a cuppa. “Drink this, you’ll need the sugar for energy. It appears we have landed on a world in the midst of a Dalek invasion. Luckily the Robomen started to rebel and attack the Daleks, no doubt my otherself making herself useful.”
Danny finished his tea and put the cup down on the nearby trolley of tea things. “So what do we do now?”
“I suppose we go and meet me. Find out why she tried to kill Morgaine and how she managed to push me out of this reality into that timeless knackersyard of redundant timelines.” The Doctor led the way back through the nicely slightly pink corridors of the TARDIS. “This way, do keep up.” She started to whistle Colonel Bogey as they went.
Danny felt that they had walked for miles and miles before they finally found the way out of the blue box.


“So is this the end of the Daleks?” Webbi asked hopefully.
“Not quite.” The Doctor said quietly. “But it’s a step towards it, if we can destroy their spawning worlds then perhaps we are looking at the twilight of the Daleks. Last one back to the ship buys the chocolate.”
“Not so fast Doctor.” The Doctor pointed at her dimensional duplicate and called out theatrically. “You big fake.”
“Doctor?” Debbie and Webbi looked at the Doctor, both of her.
“You again?” The other Doctor asked.
“Me.” The Doctor replied proudly. “You can drop the act Doctor, or should I say Merlin hmmm?”
“Is anyone else here getting confused?” Webbi asked
Danny put his hand out and saw the really attractive blonde woman next to the plainer blonde put her hand up also. “Who is she Doctor?” He asked, hoping for answers.
“She’s me.” Both versions of the Doctor replied at the same time.