It was not so much a memorial to her past lives as an art gallery. The Doctor walked through the mannequins, detailed copies of her previous selves. She stopped in the centre of them. “What is it? Why did you summon me here?”
The copy of the first Doctor came to life. “Hmmm, hmmm. So you came to see me? Why though? Guilt perhaps? No, you don’t allow yourself to feel guilt, do you hmmm?
The Doctor put her hands on her hips. “I have never lost touch with my feelings.”
“Then why don’t you feel more ashamed, young woman? You’ve betrayed everything.” The first Doctor looked down his imperious nose at his current incarnation.
“It’s…complicated.” The Doctor sighed. “We must be united.”
“Never! I can never condone what you’ve done. I shall fight it, yes, with all of my strength.”
“You have no strength, old man.” The Doctor pushed her younger self to the floor.
The first Doctor rose shakily to his feet. “Get away with you madam.” He waved his walking stick at her. “I’ll show you that I’m made of sterner stuff.”
The Doctor lashed out, but it was only a shop dummy that hit the floor. “Must maintain control, keep my focus.” She sat down on a bench. “Just my imagination, you’re getting too old Doctor.”
“You’re only as old as you feel.” The second Doctor played a tune on his recorder. “We’re all worried about us, about you. Why don’t I play you a tune to help you relax?”
“Do you know any S Club 7?”
“Oh dear, no wonder you’re so miserable. Why don’t you put your feet up and tell me all about it?”
“I don’t have time for this.” The Doctor kicked her former self, but it was just a plastic imitation her foot struck. “Phantasms of the mind? Illusions? Is this their work, or mine?”
“Perhaps it’s a bit of both.” The third Doctor replied. “You won’t find it so easy to attack me, madam.”
“There’s more than one way to kill a Doctor.” The Doctor smiled coldly.
“Perhaps, for you. I just do the best I can.”
“And if your best is not good enough? Or what if you’re too good at what you do perhaps?”
“You should always try and do something.”
“But what if something is the wrong thing, what if doing nothing is the right thing.”
“You think too much.”
“I’ve been called a bimbo before, but not an egotist. Anymore advice?” The Doctor looked at her dashing former self but it was just a dummy dressed in a cape and silver wig. “This is getting tedious now. I don’t know why I came down here in the first place.”
“Don’t know why, or would you prefer not to find out?” The fifth Doctor asked. “I’ve always thought that things look so much better after you’ve had a cup of tea. You don’t drink tea anymore, do you Doctor?”
“Save your lectures for another time.”
“I was right before, there is always something that you, we, can do.”
“I will do something, I’m going to leave.” The Doctor stalked out of the room.
“You can’t escape me.” The sixth Doctor said sharply. “I am you, you are me.”
“I refuse to talk to someone wearing that jacket.”
The sixth Doctor threw his jacket at his other self. “Put it on Doctor, walk a mile in my suit.”
“Walk two metres in these heels.” The Doctor pointed down at her shoes.
“You’re being evasive.” The sixth Doctor snarled.
“You’re being a fool.”
“Better to be a fool than a stubborn fool.” The sixth Doctor turned his back and walked away.
“Thank goodness for that, I thought he’d never leave.”
“Goodness?” The seventh Doctor asked. “What do you know about goodness?”
“Oh great, the dwarf.”
“Sticks and stones.”
“Apples and Oranges.”
“Oranges and lemons.”
“Say the bells of St Clements. This is getting seriously uninteresting fast.”
“You have no right to call yourself Doctor.”
“I have as much right as you.”
“I am you.”
“Really? I’d never have guessed.” The Doctor walked away.
“You will listen to me.”
“Not today, thank you.”
“You will listen to me then.” The eighth Doctor smiled. “I don’t know about you but I quite fancy a long walk, those shoes comfy? Now why don’t you tell me all about it? Maybe I can help? I am the Doctor after all. Helping people is what I do best.”
“Really? I’d never have guessed. Go away.”
“Not until you tell me what’s wrong. Why are you trying to be something you’re so obviously not? You’re trying too hard Doctor, let it go. Come and have a cup of tea and a slice of cake with me and tell me all about it.”
“You do love the sound of your own voice, don’t you?”
“Not as much as I do.” The ninth Doctor glared at his future self. “Poor little you, all upset and angry. Whatever can you do? Why not take out all your anger on those who care about you? You know what you need?”
“What do I need?”
The ninth Doctor slapped his older self. “This. Get over yourself, deal with whatever it is you resent.”
The Doctor put her hand on her burning cheek. “You hit me.” She decapitated her younger self, but it was a mannequin’s head that hit the floor. “Another illusion.”
“Phantoms of the mind?” The fourth Doctor asked.
The Doctor looked at herself. “I missed you before. Why are you in that ridiculous glass case? You think you’re safe in there?”
The Doctor smiled broadly. “I’ve never been safe anywhere. Do you know why you’re here?”
“I am the Doctor.”
“No, you’re an arrogant woman who pretends to be what she knows in her hearts she is not.”
“I am the Doctor.”
“Then prove it, start acting like me.”
“I’m not you.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I’m me.”
“Yes you are. Jelly baby?”
“No thanks, I’ve got to watch my figure.”
“Yes.”
“I’ve got to obey his orders, I’ve got no choice.”
“There is always a choice.”
“The Black Guardian will destroy me if I disobey him.”
“You must be yourself. We cannot allow you to drag us down to your level.”
The Doctor heard footsteps and turned around to see most of her former selves.
“Your three predecessors have already been claimed by your sins.”
Three shapeless shadows stood off to one side, watching. The Doctor looked at them, but their individuality was gone. “What have I done?”
“Resist.”
“Fight Back.”
“Help Me!” The ninth Doctor was consumed by darkness and another shadow figure joined the others just like it.
“No!” The Doctor screamed. “What have I done?”
“You’ve given into it.”
“I though, I was sure, was the balance in his favour all along?”
“You thought that you had become so good that you’d destabilised the balance of the guardians. You thought you had made a difference, you thought you were so much better than everyone else.”
“Pride goes before a fall.”
The Doctor looked at her former selves. “I’ve been a selfish bitch haven’t I?”
“We must link our minds to restore our lost selves.”
“Contact.” The Doctor fell to her knees as the strain of mental control overwhelmed her mind.
“About time too.” The ninth Doctor said sharply.
“What’s going on?”
“Where am I?”
“Is this a dream? Who’s that woman?”
The Doctor looked at her former selves. “Thank you. Now return to where you belong.”
“We can be useful.”
The Doctor smiled warmly. “You were, once. However there’s only room in the TARDIS for one of me. I’ve got work to do now, it should keep me going for quite a few years yet.” The Doctor turned and left the room of past lives, thankful to be free of the Black Guardian’s control, but there was a price to be paid she was sure of that. “Time for some shopping, I need some new sports bras for emergency running down corridors and some thick, thermal knickers for visiting those cold gravel quarries I love so much. Maybe some lippy too, in case I meet someone important. Some sort of assistant too, it’s always nice to have someone naïve around, to impress and maybe impart a little knowledge too. I’m definitely not the men I used to be, thank goodness.”