Worlds ended, civilisations fell, and the ordinary citizen was oppressed in a number of frighteningly inventive ways. Love was dying and Hate was rising. Only one person could stop this chaos, all this mayhem. Only one person in the whole universe could defeat armies of Daleks, legions of Cybermen and death squads of Ice Warriors.  There was only one thing to do. Haldu Squiggle, supreme ruler of the universe, picked up the phone and called the invasion hotline.

"Hello is the Doctor there?"
"Yes? What do you want?"
"It's Haldu Squiggle here."
"Oh have I won something?"
"No. I'm the supreme ruler of the Universe."
"If you want defeating you should have pressed 3."
"You don't understand, the Universe is being invaded."
"Who by?"
"Everyone."
"I see. Is it important?"
"Yes it bloody well is you stupid woman."
"Well if you're going to be like that..."
"No please, I'm sorry."
"Not now Claire I'm on the phone. Ask your brother to release you from the Cyberman's grip. Well use gold dust then. Sorry about that, staff problems, now you were saying?"
"I need your help Doctor."
"Oh alright but this has to stop. You can't keep on letting yourself get invaded like this, can you? Especially when I'm trying to iron my favourite blouse ok?"
"Yes Doctor, sorry Doctor."
"Come on you two. Oh must I do everything. Bad Cyberman let them go. Bad, bad Cyberman."
Haldu Squiggle hung up, was the fate of the Universe really in the hands of this mad woman again? "If the Daleks don't put me up against the wall my own side will."