It was early morning and the streets shone with glinting brass and burnished gold. The tidy streets wound their way pleasantly around the capital city. In one such street a strange thing happened, a blue police telephone call box from Britain in the nineteen fifties faded into existence countless billions of miles away from the planet that created them. This, however, was not an ordinary police telephone call box, it was a time travelling spaceship, known as a TARDIS, from a highly advanced race of people called the Time Lords. It was cunningly disguised as a police box despite its owner's best attempts to change it, this state of affairs rising from the jammed chameleon circuit that steadfastly refused any repair attempts.
The Time Lords liked to think of themselves as aloof thinkers and kept themselves to themselves. They swore never to interfere in the development of other races after a certain incident deep in their dark and murky past. It is a constant embarrassment when one or two of their number throw off this enlightened policy and meddle in the affairs of lesser-developed races. Temporal enemy number one in their calendar is the Doctor. Over the years the Doctor has thrown more boulders into the pond of time than mere numbers can handle. The number of positive outcomes, however, has always heavily outweighed the number of negative outcomes; so the Doctor remains at large to this day. Today the Doctor is visited the homeworld of the Hacx and it's not to debate morality with them.


The doors of the TARDIS opened and David Mason popped his brown haired head outside. He had been travelling with the Doctor ever since her 'evil twin' the Valeyard had killed his parents and nearly destroyed half of London. "Hey it's ok, the air's fine. Why can't we just use the sensors Doctor?"
The ship's pilot for want of a better term acknowledged David's report before checking that her hair was its usual immaculate style and not the frizzy ball it usually ended up as if she let her guard down for a few minutes. "We can't use the sensors, because we can't risk detection." The Doctor had explained this already to her companions but as always she needed to repeat her instructions.
"But we look nothing like Hacxians." Claire Mason, David's twin sister and self styled queen of the anti-fashion revolution stated.
"Press the yellow button on the holographic imager belt." The Doctor instructed and waited for Claire's features to be hidden by the device. "There now you look exactly like a young Hacxian woman."
"It's working?" David laughed until his sister punched him playfully.
"This way I believe." The Doctor set off down the cobbled street.


The operations room was quiet and when people did speak it was short and business like.
"Prepare beta wing for launch."
"Launch confirmed aye."
"Send coded battle data on third frequency."
"Sending now. Confirmation signal received."


"Ah just smell that clean fresh air." The Doctor inhaled deeply and then coughed. "Hmmm a faint trace of gases in the Praxis range."
"What's that then Doctor?" David asked.
"Oh just a small allergy my house has to certain gases. We've never been able to trace the faulty genes. I remember my father tried researching it when I was very young."
Claire was impressed; she had a lousy memory at the best of times. "Talk about a know all, I can barely remember last week."
David decided to take advantage of this statement. "So you've forgotten you own me five pounds then Claire?" It might work if he persisted with it.
Claire was sure she was debt free, besides where would moron features get money from? "I don't owe you any money brother dearest."
He tried to look upset, realised the holographic imager may not show it and instead tried to use logic to bolster his argument. "How do you know if you can't remember?"
The Doctor laughed. "She has you there. Aha food ahoy." She walked over to the first café they had seen in hours. "Let me see this menu." She scanned it for a few seconds before ordering for everyone, it was the best way considering what actually was on the menu. "Three frand butties I think and some goop-joop to wash it down I think. Hello, service."
"Can I help you?" The waiter asked, suddenly standing behind the Doctor's chair.
The Time Lady watched the waiter closely. Having made the order the small Hacxian went back inside the café to pass the order to the kitchen staff. She relaxed, their disguises worked. "Believe me when I say you wouldn't want to try anything else."
David often wondered how they were able to consume alien food; he put it down to biology and good luck. Then again the Doctor had specifically told the two of them to avoid certain foods from time to time so maybe she knew one or two things. "Err ok, would it poison us or something?"
"No but it's maybe someone I once knew."
"They eat people?" Claire asked repulsed by the thought.
"The Hacxian economy is all but governed by their military. They don't have room for many farms to breed animals and grow crops. They need to eat just as we do."
"Yes but, it's gross." Claire made self-induced vomiting hand gestures.
"Judging others isn't very practical Claire and ultimately one of the worst things you can do." The Doctor had met and been menaced by more alien species than anyone else she knew and she knew a lot of people, some of whom owed her hot meals.
The waiter brought out their meals, wished them a good meal, and returned back inside the café.
David was the first to sample the food and he took a large bite of his sandwich. "Mmmm this is good, tasty." David took a second, even larger bite. So what kind of animal is a frand?"
"You don't want to know that either, just enjoy it."
He wanted to know so he pressed the Doctor for an answer. "It's not minced dead guy is it Doctor?"
"Ah no. I may as well tell you. The frand are a domesticated arachnid, bred solely for consumption."
"Spiders? I've just eaten cooked spider meat?" David retched but held it down.
"It's good for you, I've been told the raw stomach lining is a delicacy."
Claire's skin was rapidly turning green. "Doctor, please shut up now."
"I'm not putting you off your food am I?" The Doctor polished off the last mouthful of her sandwich. "Very nice, very filling."
"Uh I think I have an eyeball." Claire fished a silvery globe out of the sandwich.
"Hey they're the best bit. Let it dissolve in your mouth and it will pop open, the taste is indescribable."
"The taste is unknowable, I'm not eating this." Claire dropped the sandwich onto her plate.
"Oh come on you big softie." David waved the barely nibbled sandwich under Claire's nose. "Yummy, yummy, yummy it's made of spider's tummy."
"Come on settle down you two. We need to look as average as possible. Anything that doesn't seem right will make them suspicious. Trust me you don't want to end up as what I saw listed as item seven on the menu. Mammal pot pie."
"I'm not eating it Doctor."
"Hey it's ok sis, I'll eat it for you." David finished off the meal in seconds and made a great show of rubbing his stomach and smacking his lips.


"Beta wing emerging from hyper drive, slotting into formation with the fleet."
"Third Legion reports battle readiness status complete."
"Received Third Legion. Inform General Voorig to proceed at once."
"General Voorig reports situation is a go. Third Legion is now going radio silent."
"Confirmed."


"So what is this place?" David asked.
"It's the central battle node for the Hacxian Stellar Empire. Destroy this place and it will be effectively disabled."
"So what are we doing here?" Claire asked.
"We're going to blow it up."
"Blow it up?" David gasped. "You cannot be serious."
"I wish there was another way but there isn't."
"You're going to blow up a building full of people? Why?"
"Oh that. It's fully automated, for security reasons. Only the service engineers go there for routine maintenance. They don't know what they're repairing exactly so they're allowed to come and go as needed. As long as we have there." The Doctor produced three pass cards. "We can get in when we want to."
"Ok, so we get in but what about explosives? We don't have any."
"True, that's why we're waiting here."
"What for?"
"For some explosives to drop into our laps of course." On cue two Draconians shimmered into existence next to David.
"We have the brightness to destroy our enemy." The Draconian handed the explosives to David and bowed.
"Absolutely typical. That's not the Doctor, I am." The Doctor put her hands on her hips and sighed. "Yes I am The Oncoming Storm and a noble of the court of Draconia."
"Has anyone ever called you a lunatic for even daring to suggest that?" The Draconian commander hissed.
"I've been called a time travelling platinum blonde out to party until the universe itself makes me stop. However I think that the pursuit of chocolate is an even higher and more worthy calling. Well?"
"But, but." The second Draconian bumbled.
Looking defiant the Doctor continued her tirade. "Yes, yes I know. You think that I'm not permitted to speak; well you can't always get your own way. This isn't the royal court and neither is it Draconia. I am the Doctor whether you believe it or not." She disabled the holographic imager. "Do I even look human? Oh wait a minute I do. I do have two hearts if that helps."
"Very well, we choose to accept this explanation at this time. We shall report everything to the Emperor of course. Should he choose to your rank and title our sacred trust will be forfeit, woman."
"If you revoked it then I wouldn't want it. You had better go now before they detect you." The Doctor reactivated her imager. "Draconians." She cursed after they vanished. "Rassilon save me from imbeciles, idiots and incompetents."


"Fleet on course sir."
"Very good Captain you have the con, I'm going to get some sleep. Wake me when we're five gan from the target."
"Aye sir."


"So where do we put this stuff then Doctor?" David started to juggle several of the spherical explosives.
"Keep that up and you won't have to worry about it, believe me. Ah this looks like the place." The Doctor pulled a heavy metal door open. "Yes this is it."
They planted the explosives carefully, putting them out of sight of a casual inspection. Just then a real maintenance crew entered the room.
"What are you doing here?" The first maintenance worker asked.
"Oh great, centrals screwed up again." The second grumbled.
"You've been assigned this detail as well?" The Doctor asked cautiously. "Typical, just typical."
"We had better clear it with central all the same, I'd like to see them squirm for once knowing they made a mistake." The first maintenance worker pulled out his commbox.
"We can't let them contact this central Claire." The Doctor whispered. "Hand me an explosive. If I set it to a low concussion rating it could just work." Carefully she judged the distance and casually threw the explosive device at the two workmen. It detonated with a pop-like bang. "Right let's get out of here, we'd better drag Laurel and Hardy here clear."
The workmen were very bulky but they managed to pull them slowly to a safe distance. However in the process David's holographic emitter took a severe knock. It started to flicker occasionally.
"Come on, we'd better leave now. Once this lot goes this place will have more security than the Pope's pet parrot."


A low-level systems operator watched as several low level systems flickered before loosing contact. He gasped as operations followed suit. "Operations down sir."
His line manager strode over to check everything out. "What?" If he'd made a mistake she would see him fined heavily for incompetence.
"All operations data has gone. It's the feed ma'am it's stopped."
"Report the fault to maintenance."
Nothing happened...the fault had spread. "Communications down, security grid down, everything's down."
His manager gasped. "This cannot be."
The operator tried again but it was dead. "Nothing's working."


The explosion had been spectacular. A large orange flower coming into bloom before withering and fading. A cloud of dark grey hung over the distant crater where the centre had once been.
"Ace would have liked that one." The Doctor quipped. "Right, back to the TARDIS I think. Last one there gets to pay for the chocolate. No running though."


"Control, control. Anyone there? Navigation computer is not working I am falling towards the surface. I need advice now control."


"Ah there's the TARDIS." David stopped suddenly when he saw his pointed finger return to its normal shape. "Hey the hologizmo's stopped working."
"An alien!" A passing Hacx exclaimed. "Who would dare pollute our world with their unclean presence?"
"Get it, kill it." A second Hacx shouted.
"David, run." The Doctor commanded before starting to run herself. She grabbed hold of Claire's arm and dragged her into action too.
Despite being pelted by small stones and fruit David made it to the TARDIS and managed to unlock it with his key. Seconds later he was followed inside by his sister and the Doctor. The Doctor closed and locked the doors. "Are we safe now?" He asked.
"Yes." The Doctor activated the wall-sized screen. It showed a rapidly increasing number of Hacxians gathered outside the ship. "We had better leave before they hurt themselves trying to break in here." She pressed several buttons on the console and the green plasma ball burst into life. "There we go, safe at last. Now for the bad news well at least for Claire."
"What did I do?" Claire protested.
"You're buying the chocolate."
"That would be right, talking of chocolate it's time for my pill." On cue the small box attached to the holosuit belt bleeped. Several months ago Claire had been badly wounded and as a result she had developed diabetes. The Medicians had used their advanced medical knowledge to create a pillbox that created the necessary dose when it was time or her system needed it urgently. She popped the small tablet into her mouth and swallowed it down with some Pepsi Max.


On the streets people screamed and ran in panic. Space ships were falling out of the sky and homes were erupting into flames. The devastation spread outwards like a pulse of destruction and it engulfed the whole planet.


"Right then lets take one last look at things and we can leave." The Doctor had parked the TARDIS on the surface of a passing asteroid. The scene that greeted her shocked her to the core; the planet was wreathed in flames. "What happened? How could that happen?" She pressed several buttons on the console and studied a stream of raw data as it flashed up the screen. "The fuel lines exploded. Space ships fallen out of orbit." On and on she catalogued the disasters until finally David switched the display off and Claire led the Doctor to one of the chairs in the console room.
"Just sit there Doctor, David will make you a cup of tea."
"Tea? Don't need tea. There is too much blood on my hands to drink any tea. I was so sure Claire, I was so sure."
"You said they needed to be stopped Doctor."
"I never wanted this. I never wanted to do all of this."
"Come on, it was an accident Doctor, you weren't to know." Claire patted the older woman on her shoulder.
"I still should have known Claire, considered it as a possibility and now it's too late to make amends."
"You said they were an indiscriminate warrior race. Remember that planet they laid to waste two months ago? I bet they didn't feel as bad about it as you do now. You're a good person Doctor and sometimes we make mistakes but you have to forgive yourself and try not to mistake the same mistake again."
The Doctor tapped her friend on the nose. "Hey when did you get so wise Claire Mason?"
Claire headed for the door that connected to the internal rooms, intent on having a long soak in the tub. She paused to reply to the Doctor. "Oh I just got it off the television one time when we were visiting my future."


It was dark; it was always dark down here, beneath the Panopticon, in the lowest part of the lower levels. He waited anxiously for the rendezvous; he hoped he wouldn't be missed. After several minutes of pacing backwards and forwards he stopped and sat down on a large chunk of green stone.
"You took your time." A second figure slipped out of the shadows.
"I had to make sure I wasn't being followed. You know what Castellan is like." His brow was sweating; being in his presence always did this to him.
"All went as planned?"
"Yes, the Doctor came through for us once more. That bumbling idiot doesn't even realise our hand in her affairs." He paused to mop his brow before continuing. "Are you sure you want to proceed to the next stage of the plan? She may be useful to us in the future, I know the President and Castellan have debated bringing her into a few of their petty politic plans."
"I am quite sure Dynami, quite sure."
The Cardinal wasn't sure what to do about the remaining Hacx, those who survived the destruction of their home world. "There are many small groups of Hacx that survived, perhaps we could use one of them in the future?"
"The high council may detect our hand in their rise and fall if we over extend ourselves. WE should abandon them to their fate. Tell our associates they may proceed at their earliest convenience."
"At once lord Valeyard."
"Don't call me that. If they even suspect all our work is for nothing."
Cardinal Dynami left the Valeyard, or Lord Rotcod as he preferred to be called, in the lower level while he headed back to the familiar corridors and passageways of the Capital. He mopped his brow once more and hastened to send the signal.